Prefer listening to this as a podcast? Go check us out on Apple Podcasts HERE: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/relationship-radio-marriage-sex-limerence-avoiding/id978519992 Blessings, Marriage Helper
Yes. We go through phases of life and stop caring about whether we are attractive or doing the work to keep a relationship healthy. It is not easy to stay consistent all the time. And both sexes have to keep up their respective efforts to keep the candle burning.
Thank you for mentioning that it goes both ways, all other videos on this topic make out that women always have less desire, but some of us have had husbands who wouldn’t touch us at all or well enough or often enough. Some women have high sex drives and many men also have low sex drives (and some Marry and choose to keep playing the field leaving wifey at home unsatisfied). The vibrator industry isn’t just thriving because of single women, it’s the poor frustrated wives buying up big too.
That is so true I honestly agree with you I don't understand how a man or woman go off it .seems bizarre to me to me marriages are meant to be worked on .I think now it seems more men are going off sex .something must be wrong .they used to say women were the course .I must say I don't agree I think its more men now .perhaps its there diet or over working god only knows .I totally agree these wifes buying these vibrators why should they loose out .definitely not fair to them
I have a really hard time believing this. I am 48 and I am healthier today than I was in my 20s, and my drive is almost as strong has not dropped just leveled. Not going into the details given my name is next to this tag, but this just hurts at such a deep level, almost hopeless to hear.
If somebody is a serial cheater and wants to stay married to you..that destroys your self confidence. The fact that this mans wife doesn't desire him after she has had affairs with others ..seems horrible. Not only did she have a physical Affair but then she had an emotional affair with somebody else. Encouraging somebody to do all the work to fix this marriage instead of realizing that you don't have to stay with somebody like this who habitually hurts you seems harmful to me.
Not sure it's our place to judge this man when he wants to put in the work. This is his journey, not ours, and if this is what he wants, we have to respect that. I'm pretty sure you and I would be upset if we came for advice on something specific and the expert we came to told us our desires were meaningless and we should just give up.
Omg, I just discover this program, this is awesome, thank you so much for the information, I love the fact you two are related, all families should be that open, more people could be a lot happier. New listener and suscriptor here, greetings from Venezuela, all the best wishes for all of you.
Dr. Joe and Kimberly, I think it's good that sex has always been an open, discussed, topic in your home. I think it's really healthy for children because it teaches them the Godly role, responsibility, and important. It also teaches them how to connect and talk openly with their spouse.
I think your spot on its right that couples etc should be able to talk about things .it solves a lot of issues later on in life if people are presented with them .unfortunately some couples won't speak and leave there partners annoyed or up set by things .get it out in the open and move forward as a couple
@@robertfisher2844 I know. It's hard and unfair when the person that's supposed to be your best friend, the person you're supposed to be one with will not talk. It destroys the relationship when one person won't be open and transparent. It's cold. It's cruel. It's heartbreaking. It's selfish and cowardly.
Its so true relationship can be either good or there unfair .everyone hopes we all get through life without any trouble .its so hard that people won't talk that puts a strain on things and makes the relationship strain .
To be honest Donna I don't why people do these things to there partners its wrong as you say .People need to be honest there is nothing wrong in that .but some cant face what there doing they think its right .
I need this for me and my wife desperately. Although, I am the main issue. I desperately want to fix things between me and my wife to save our marriage.
If your partner isn’t sexually attracted to you... maybe start taking care of yourself. Get on your feet and start excercising whether you are a woman or a man. This is most probably the first reason, at least it is for me. I try to convince my partner to start taking care of himself for years now, but I seem to get nowhere. I love him so much and want to be with him, but I am less and less attracted to him.
This feels like one of those deals , for example with my marriage, I am in the LOW - to No category,& feels like they're just telling me I need to lessen my desire
This video fails to address the Title of Video. Likewise the answers and explanations are Trite. The issues of sexless marriage is avoided by these folks. Real sex advice should be direct, honest, simple and way less clinical. No one cares about what you know versus what the plan of action should consider.
This is one of those videos a person stumbles upon just as they are realizing they are in a sexless relationship. They will read numerous articles and watch numerous videos, while their spouse acts like there is no problem in the relationship. No need to for therapists to discuss the real issue when they are guaranteed to get plenty of clicks and views from the uninformed.
At its core, sex is connection to rarity and fleeting. We love knowing "its" temporary. We want what is going away and in short supply (scarcity). This implies "being moral" is a pursuit of God as the immortal and unchanged. Immorality is NOT being what we were designed to be so as to contribute to life's rarity and fleeting experiences! That is the issue of sexless marriages...not being ourselves.
I hope someone can give me advice if they have been through the same thing. I am struggling with sexual desire in my marriage (I have a very low sex drive) but through therapy I have come to realize it maybe affected by a past relationship in which I was forced to have sex and do degrading sexual acts, and had no real say over when and under what circumstances I had sex. My therapist says my brain has associated love with pain….and my body winces whenever someone tries to even touch me in a friendly manner. I feel like the one thing missing in my marriage is sexual satisfaction (because without it my marriage almost feels incomplete )….has anyone experience someone like this and what helped get over it?
I'm really sorry you experienced that. I hope the two of you can discuss this more... perhaps small bits at a time, as it's too much to discuss and process all at once. Pray to God to work in the heart of both of you for truth and healing. Perhaps the two of you could also start doing activities together where you will connect and interact. Also, get in church in a couples class, and connect with the Pastor for support. I'm not an expert, I just know God's way in doing things is right and will bring blessings.
Probability of connecting leading to intimacy after being told that is very low and you should end it and move on. I would be great full that your significant other was honest versus dragging it out for many years.
Dr. Joe had an intense limerent affair in the 1980s (this is how he got into the area of limerence and marriage counseling - based on the experiences of his own marriage). He divorced his wife - mind you he had studied theology, likely his work was related to church / religion, they had two little daughters and the eldest is severely mentally disabled (lack of oxygen during birth).
The best thing to do period when your spouse cheats on you is move on. They didn’t love you, this is truth. If they cheat once, they will do it again and again. These people mean well and some of their points are good
Not so easy when children are involved and sometimes the cheating is a reaction to something the spouse did or if the male partner is impotent and the females realises there is many willing interested and confident guys out there.
What about if your husband is a porn addict and he has no desire for you? I'm competing with women that aren't physically here and I'm sexually starved. He won't even touch me
How long to you tolerate this bizarre, unnatural behavior. It's effecting me phyco logically, emotionally, Spiritually and causing literal illness, headaches, insomnia, panic attacks
What do you do when you e been working on your PIES for YEARS and you’ve eliminated PUSH behaviors for YEARS and your relationship continues to decline?
We have not had sex in 10 years. It’s really hard on me. I’m a female. He seems to have no drive. He says it is his back. Now he is on meds. I believe the meds don’t help either. I love him and I’m willing to wait. I would never cheat. It is getting really hard. I’m a female d have a high sex drive. Plus he sleeps in a recliner chair due to back. He loves me very much and wishes he could. I’m feeling ugly and frustrated. What should I do?
There should another category you say 10 times or less a year? There should be one for zero times in a year to me even one is different than zero times.
It means he was a sincere man. It will take time or never happen again. Just try to love him more and don't initiate the process for some time, just let it be so we see. May be he just need so e space since he hasn't fully recovered from the trauma of the problems you both had.
Don't listen to what girls tell you they want from a guy.! Watch what they respond to. A girl would rather share a high valued alpha , than be straddle with a faithful loser..! Men love idealistically girls love opportunistically. Girls don't love you for who you are, but what you are and what life style you can bring to her and her offspring. The best way to make a woman feel safe, is to be dangerous. It's important that you set the tone and take the lead inorder for a woman to feel safe, ot else she'll drive you both over an emotional cliff. Be who you say you are, put your passion before your girl, if you don't she will trade you in for a man that does.
I feel my situation is similar to the gentleman's question posed at around 12:00, but mine differs due to an affair that is ongoing. I've tried to reason with her to drop the affair and return to work on relationship. She's still turned away is not motivated to save our marriage. Divorce seems inevitable, is there anything else to do?
What if, you're in a no sex marriage, but you have a side piece, who's comfortable being the go to, and it works?....... Jk! I know it's BS! But it works for now!!!! F it!
If you're a woman, just get online or go to a bar. You'll find men with an interest in you. If you're a man, unless you're in the top 10%, deal with the fact that no woman is really interested in you. You might get a desperate woman to settle for you but she'll drop you as soon as she can get a better man, which probably won't be too long.
@BloodyHeck You're in the wrong place, then. My trailer park is 75% women looking for love. They are always coming over. They tell me that today's man doesn't want women anymore, which leaves you with an overabundance of lady's looking for a hook-up.
Prefer listening to this as a podcast? Go check us out on Apple Podcasts HERE:
podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/relationship-radio-marriage-sex-limerence-avoiding/id978519992
Blessings,
Marriage Helper
+234907314472
If you wake up and find yourself married to a person who says he isn’t attracted to you, it’s very hard to get started liking yourself.
People get old and become less attractive to their partners
Yes. We go through phases of life and stop caring about whether we are attractive or doing the work to keep a relationship healthy. It is not easy to stay consistent all the time. And both sexes have to keep up their respective efforts to keep the candle burning.
Here's your options
A. Fix it Or
B. End it
Thank you for mentioning that it goes both ways, all other videos on this topic make out that women always have less desire, but some of us have had husbands who wouldn’t touch us at all or well enough or often enough. Some women have high sex drives and many men also have low sex drives (and some Marry and choose to keep playing the field leaving wifey at home unsatisfied). The vibrator industry isn’t just thriving because of single women, it’s the poor frustrated wives buying up big too.
That is so true I honestly agree with you I don't understand how a man or woman go off it .seems bizarre to me to me marriages are meant to be worked on .I think now it seems more men are going off sex .something must be wrong .they used to say women were the course .I must say I don't agree I think its more men now .perhaps its there diet or over working god only knows .I totally agree these wifes buying these vibrators why should they loose out .definitely not fair to them
I can recommend someone who helped me get my love back in 48hours.
+²³⁴⁹⁰⁷⁷⁰⁸¹⁰³³
But usually it’s the women who put the strain by shutting up shop.
@@TheOriginalNiceGuy not in my experience.
I have a really hard time believing this. I am 48 and I am healthier today than I was in my 20s, and my drive is almost as strong has not dropped just leveled. Not going into the details given my name is next to this tag, but this just hurts at such a deep level, almost hopeless to hear.
You’re only 48.
If somebody is a serial cheater and wants to stay married to you..that destroys your self confidence. The fact that this mans wife doesn't desire him after she has had affairs with others ..seems horrible. Not only did she have a physical Affair but then she had an emotional affair with somebody else. Encouraging somebody to do all the work to fix this marriage instead of realizing that you don't have to stay with somebody like this who habitually hurts you seems harmful to me.
Not sure it's our place to judge this man when he wants to put in the work. This is his journey, not ours, and if this is what he wants, we have to respect that. I'm pretty sure you and I would be upset if we came for advice on something specific and the expert we came to told us our desires were meaningless and we should just give up.
Yup, the women needs to be made homeless.
Omg, I just discover this program, this is awesome, thank you so much for the information, I love the fact you two are related, all families should be that open, more people could be a lot happier. New listener and suscriptor here, greetings from Venezuela, all the best wishes for all of you.
I adore yall and recommend you to EVERYONE who complains to me about a crummy marriage
+234907314472
Lol
Dr. Joe and Kimberly, I think it's good that sex has always been an open, discussed, topic in your home. I think it's really healthy for children because it teaches them the Godly role, responsibility, and important. It also teaches them how to connect and talk openly with their spouse.
I think your spot on its right that couples etc should be able to talk about things .it solves a lot of issues later on in life if people are presented with them .unfortunately some couples won't speak and leave there partners annoyed or up set by things .get it out in the open and move forward as a couple
@@robertfisher2844 I know. It's hard and unfair when the person that's supposed to be your best friend, the person you're supposed to be one with will not talk. It destroys the relationship when one person won't be open and transparent. It's cold. It's cruel. It's heartbreaking. It's selfish and cowardly.
Its so true relationship can be either good or there unfair .everyone hopes we all get through life without any trouble .its so hard that people won't talk that puts a strain on things and makes the relationship strain .
To be honest Donna I don't why people do these things to there partners its wrong as you say .People need to be honest there is nothing wrong in that .but some cant face what there doing they think its right .
I need this for me and my wife desperately. Although, I am the main issue. I desperately want to fix things between me and my wife to save our marriage.
If your partner isn’t sexually attracted to you... maybe start taking care of yourself. Get on your feet and start excercising whether you are a woman or a man. This is most probably the first reason, at least it is for me.
I try to convince my partner to start taking care of himself for years now, but I seem to get nowhere. I love him so much and want to be with him, but I am less and less attracted to him.
I can recommend someone who helped me get my love back in 48hours.
+²³⁴⁹⁰⁷⁷⁰⁸¹⁰³³
Easy Non Push suggestion: Be reflective in speech. Easiest way for someone to feel heard.
+234907314472
where is it when some of these behaviors (passive aggressiveness, withholding compliments and affection), etc cross the line into narcissistic abuse?
This feels like one of those deals , for example with my marriage, I am in the LOW - to No category,& feels like they're just telling me I need to lessen my desire
+234907314472
This video fails to address the Title of Video. Likewise the answers and explanations are Trite. The issues of sexless marriage is avoided by these folks. Real sex advice should be direct, honest, simple and way less clinical. No one cares about what you know versus what the plan of action should consider.
Agreed.
well of course it does that, they want to sign up and $$$
Thank you for keeping me from wasting my time.
This is one of those videos a person stumbles upon just as they are realizing they are in a sexless relationship. They will read numerous articles and watch numerous videos, while their spouse acts like there is no problem in the relationship. No need to for therapists to discuss the real issue when they are guaranteed to get plenty of clicks and views from the uninformed.
At its core, sex is connection to rarity and fleeting. We love knowing "its" temporary. We want what is going away and in short supply (scarcity). This implies "being moral" is a pursuit of God as the immortal and unchanged. Immorality is NOT being what we were designed to be so as to contribute to life's rarity and fleeting experiences! That is the issue of sexless marriages...not being ourselves.
Am enjoying reading the comments
Only
I hope someone can give me advice if they have been through the same thing.
I am struggling with sexual desire in my marriage (I have a very low sex drive) but through therapy I have come to realize it maybe affected by a past relationship in which I was forced to have sex and do degrading sexual acts, and had no real say over when and under what circumstances I had sex. My therapist says my brain has associated love with pain….and my body winces whenever someone tries to even touch me in a friendly manner. I feel like the one thing missing in my marriage is sexual satisfaction (because without it my marriage almost feels incomplete )….has anyone experience someone like this and what helped get over it?
NO SEX MEANS NONE!! ITS OWN CATAGORY. LOW SHOULD MEANS LOW.
But don't men need respect. To give love. and women need love to give respect? Which causes a vicious cycle.
Not everyone is compatible. Not every marriage is the same and has to have every single boxes checked to be considered succesful.
Kimberly is …. STUNNING
What does a husband do when the wife says shes not in love with her husband and never was as in My situation?
I'm really sorry you experienced that. I hope the two of you can discuss this more... perhaps small bits at a time, as it's too much to discuss and process all at once. Pray to God to work in the heart of both of you for truth and healing. Perhaps the two of you could also start doing activities together where you will connect and interact. Also, get in church in a couples class, and connect with the Pastor for support. I'm not an expert, I just know God's way in doing things is right and will bring blessings.
Probability of connecting leading to intimacy after being told that is very low and you should end it and move on. I would be great full that your significant other was honest versus dragging it out for many years.
Dr. Joe had an intense limerent affair in the 1980s (this is how he got into the area of limerence and marriage counseling - based on the experiences of his own marriage). He divorced his wife - mind you he had studied theology, likely his work was related to church / religion, they had two little daughters and the eldest is severely mentally disabled (lack of oxygen during birth).
So a man having had vasectomy has the right to feel less of a man because he has lost the ability to father children.
The best thing to do period when your spouse cheats on you is move on. They didn’t love you, this is truth. If they cheat once, they will do it again and again. These people mean well and some of their points are good
Depends on the situation.
Not so easy when children are involved and sometimes the cheating is a reaction to something the spouse did or if the male partner is impotent and the females realises there is many willing interested and confident guys out there.
That doesn't mean he don't love
It’s worthwhile to think why he/she did that ?
I agree if there is no Kids, but if you have kids try everything before divorce. I belive you can back from infidelity.
What about if your husband is a porn addict and he has no desire for you? I'm competing with women that aren't physically here and I'm sexually starved. He won't even touch me
Did you find out the answer for this?
@@lorynledet6243 no and it's only gotten worse
My exact situation.
I had this before, ended up only getting worse and he refused to even acknowledge the issue. I ended up leaving and only wish I had done so sooner
How long to you tolerate this bizarre, unnatural behavior. It's effecting me phyco logically, emotionally, Spiritually and causing literal illness, headaches, insomnia, panic attacks
How is 10 time no sex? That's is less than once a month but far more than 0. No = None.
+234907314472
I can recommend someone who helped me get my love back in 48hours.
When you introduced the video and said, "MH International", I thought you said, "Image International". Lol
+234907314472
I've tried EVERYTHING....WHILE HE DOES NOTHING!
IM TIRED OF "FIXING IT, AND PUTTING OUT FIRE'S!!!!!
What do you do when you e been working on your PIES for YEARS and you’ve eliminated PUSH behaviors for YEARS and your relationship continues to decline?
We have not had sex in 10 years. It’s really hard on me. I’m a female. He seems to have no drive. He says it is his back. Now he is on meds. I believe the meds don’t help either. I love him and I’m willing to wait. I would never cheat. It is getting really hard. I’m a female d have a high sex drive. Plus he sleeps in a recliner chair due to back. He loves me very much and wishes he could. I’m feeling ugly and frustrated. What should I do?
I can recommend someone who helped me get my love back in 48hours.
There should another category you say 10 times or less a year? There should be one for zero times in a year to me even one is different than zero times.
They say that so they don't have to validate your situation with a answer.
Make attractiv in all aspects ??
you leave her.
Thank you so much Sir ❤️
I can recommend someone who helped me get my love back in 48hours.
+²³⁴⁹⁰⁷⁷⁰⁸¹⁰³³
+²³⁴⁹⁰⁷⁷⁰⁸¹⁰³³
A few months ago I steped out on my husband because we were having problems now when we try to. Be intament he loose interest what do i do to fix it.
I mean he has forgive me and we love each other very much but once he get started he thinks about the pass and loose interest how can we fix it.
It means he was a sincere man. It will take time or never happen again.
Just try to love him more and don't initiate the process for some time, just let it be so we see. May be he just need so e space since he hasn't fully recovered from the trauma of the problems you both had.
Don't listen to what girls tell you they want from a guy.! Watch what they respond to.
A girl would rather share a high valued alpha , than be straddle with a faithful loser..!
Men love idealistically girls love opportunistically. Girls don't love you for who you are, but what you are and what life style you can bring to her and her offspring.
The best way to make a woman feel safe, is to be dangerous.
It's important that you set the tone and take the lead inorder for a woman to feel safe, ot else she'll drive you both over an emotional cliff.
Be who you say you are, put your passion before your girl, if you don't she will trade you in for a man that does.
Best ever
Privacy
Do the maid, problem solved
Hey women, what do you like for your husband to do that increases his chances for intimacy?
I feel my situation is similar to the gentleman's question posed at around 12:00, but mine differs due to an affair that is ongoing. I've tried to reason with her to drop the affair and return to work on relationship. She's still turned away is not motivated to save our marriage. Divorce seems inevitable, is there anything else to do?
+234907314472
Yes... Say Next!
Divorce and move out as soon as possible.Your marriage has been over for some time.
Divorce and move on
I really hope you divorced her. Stop letting her torture you.
What if, you're in a no sex marriage, but you have a side piece, who's comfortable being the go to, and it works?....... Jk! I know it's BS! But it works for now!!!! F it!
I can recommend someone who helped me get my love back in 48hours.
+²³⁴⁹⁰⁷⁷⁰⁸¹⁰³³
I think we need to keep God out of the conversation. God is not helpful.
It's a human issue
So how do we increase serotonin?
Doesn't have a clue what hypergamy is.
I think your feminist bias is really on display in this video. Very disappointing.
So woman really are messed up in the head
Men are.
As if men aren't
If you're a woman, just get online or go to a bar. You'll find men with an interest in you.
If you're a man, unless you're in the top 10%, deal with the fact that no woman is really interested in you. You might get a desperate woman to settle for you but she'll drop you as soon as she can get a better man, which probably won't be too long.
Very bad, dangerous advice for women. Lots of unstable mentality ill men in bars and online nowadays
The first paragraph advice is very dangerous nowadays. This is in the past. Things have changed to the advantage for men. Update yourself to 2023
@@TP-vu3tc A lot of men would disagree with you that we have the advantage. The average man can't even get a woman to acknowledge he exists.
@BloodyHeck
You're in the wrong place, then. My trailer park is 75% women looking for love. They are always coming over. They tell me that today's man doesn't want women anymore, which leaves you with an overabundance of lady's looking for a hook-up.
@@TP-vu3tc When a woman says she can't find a good man, it means she can't find a 6'2" millionaire.
I don’t feel this particular group has demonstrated an ability to listen well.