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Best Sexist Jokes!
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- Опубліковано 3 бер 2016
- Next up in our joke series...Best Sexist Jokes!
Best Sexist Jokes - Battlefield 4
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What have women and grenades in common? You pull off the ring and your house is gone.
True
Oh shit!.. lol
logic
damn it, my drink xD it's all over the place
Smart.
"Why does a woman fake an orgasm?"
"... to get to the dishes quicker?"
Lost it xD
I still wanna know what the right answer is lol
+Mikhail Alexandrov "... because they think we care."
Calvin Smith is that your real name?
Madelyn Palm you really don’t understand the concept of jokes do you
Wolf Viper well her name is Madelyn implying that she’s a woman, and women aren’t funny so it’s not much of a surprise really.
Three words to destroy a man's ego: Is it in?
Three words to destroy hers: I don't know
LOL
I don't get it
because she is as wide as the grand canyon.
Oo thats a great come back! *had my fare share of grand canyons...*
Orcaluv26 she's too loose
What's the difference between a feminist and a suicide vest?
The suicide vest does something when triggered
brilliant mate, brilliant
Demonboy Gaming What's the difference between a SJW and a baby?
A baby cries for a reason. Other then that, they are the same.
Demonboy Gaming that’s the best one
niiiiiiiice
Whats a sjw
Guy walks into a bar, sits down & orders a shot of whiskey. He proceeds to down it then looks in his pocket, which the bartender notices. This goes on until the guy's 5th shot. After ordering yet another round the bartender pours it, but as the reaches for it the bartender puts his hand over it. He says, "I won't serve you anymore unless you tell me why you keep looking in your pocket." The guy grabs the shot, downs it & says "I got a picture of my wife in there, when she looks good I'll go home."
Lol, oh darn
Man that was good
👌
OH SNAP !
Nice one
a women falls and breaks her arm, her husband takes her to the hardware store and says "my dishwasher is broken"
Lmao. That is so fucked up
Ronald Raygun XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
OH FOR PETE'S SAKE!
..... I really don't get sexists.
Ronald Raygun
😂😂😂😂
“How is a woman like a condom”
“She’s made of rubber?”
That made me laugh really hard for some reason.
my wife asked me if I would buy her a pair of $600 sunglasses. I asked her why not just tint the kitchen window!
Neebs, I watched this with my girlfriend and we were both laughing to the point we started crying.
+Neebs Gaming I watch this with my dad...
+SealTeamSixCQB how does your hand know how to laugh?
+GuvernorDave OWNED
+GuvernorDave how original
How to date 2016
I’m a woman, and I approve these jokes. Genuinely hilarious. Gonna tell a few to my coworkers.
Yumari Tsunaka lol
ye but ur a mongy anime herm
Nah you’re probably a James
Bless you for having a sense of humor
You mean your utensils?
when they were making fun of penis names I stroked my crotch and said "don't listen to them Henry. they don't understand."
LITTLE J!
I called mine Willy... Because, never mind.
Black Hammer
Cause every time you pull it out you can yell free willy?
Dillan Hart you are a good person
What do you do if your girlfriend comes at you with a knife?
Give her cheese, meat, and bread. Instincts will kick in and she will start making a sandwich.
+Quinn Reller Nothing, she doesnt excist :P
+Gabriel Ferdinandsson exist*
EpicPieSlap Grammar police!
Sex
lol
my wife asked me to load the dishwasher I thought she wanted me to get her drunk.
Why are there so many sexists out there..
xXNightshadeLivesXx it was but a joke
@@awreck568 Because of the video title.
What are the three rings of marriage?
The engagement ring
The wedding ring
The suffering
Well… If a man gets married, it’s completely his fault. Nobody forced him to do that.
Why do brides wear white on their wedding?
So the dishwasher matches the oven and the fridge
You're from Miele right?
Madelyn Palm this whole fucking video is about sexist jokes and they’re just adding their own in for people that can handle the joke and you’re clearly not able to understand it at all
Madelyn Palm you're such a loser i love it, you may be an adult, in which holy shit, make 10 again
o jeez, what did madelyn palm do?
I'm a bit late for the joke too bro
What's the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman?
One is a superhero, one is a command.
LOL
Thats a good one
Or... Fe Male. Fe is the periodic symbol for Iron. Fe Male means Iron Man.
The Gilbert 🤔 never thought of that.
Good one 😂
@@j.gilbert429 oh damn.. big brain play over here.
You proberly seen this before but
What is the difference between feminism and a knife
*A knife has a point*
This isn't even funny. THIS IS TRUTH!!!
xD
+joe dixon omg nice one
lol , nice joke
+joe dixon Well I suppose on which TYPE of feminist you are talking about, but still, good joke :P
A man has finished an argument, and yells loudly "God, why did you make women so beautiful!?" A thunderous boom responds. "So you would love them." The man, taken back in suprise, looks around quickly. "Why did you make them stupid?" He asks. "So they would love you!" God responds.
Legend!
Caesar308 jeez
Another shot fired once again. Coordinates: X, -289 Y, 111 One person down targeting next victim...
This was comment is 100% awesome
Deletus Thoust Yeetus where's the z axis?
What does a man and a snowstorm have in common?
You never know when he's coming, how many inches you'll get, or how long it will last.
@Jesus Christ lol what?
@Jesus Christ What? It was a good joke.
@Jesus Christ ummmm you? Lol
Good joke 😂
That is awesome
Btw Jesus what are doing watching a video about sexist jokes
What do you call a man paralyzed from the waist down? -- Married
On my way home, I saw my ex being beaten up by 3 guys. So I pulled over to help. That bitch didnt stand a chance against the 4 of us!
I love this
If your wife is shouting at the front door and your dog is barking at the back door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. At least he'll shut up after you let him in.
Damn girl~!
Sarah Zulak *That's a good one*
SHOTS FIRED 9/11
shot fired at X, -180 Y, 237 I repeat shot fired one person burned to crisps next victim targeted.
Sarah Zulak which dog tho?
How do you confuse a feminist?
Tell her that you refuse to allow her to make you a sandwich.
Bradley P. Michel that's wonderful
you confused me goddammit and i am a man.
This is great, I know people who would get flustered over this. Though, I know one girl in particular who would then DEMAND you to let her make a sandwich. As a girl, this gets my approval, great joke!!
It took me a minute to get that. Ha, good one
I am a guy, and this beyond confused me. Ha,
oh my god, I made the mistake of listening to this at work and I had to stifle myself after nearly every time Neebs said ANYTHING 😂😂😂
as well as after the jokes and such, but all y'all KILL me!
If we put a woman's face on the 10 dollar bill, wouldn't it only be worth 7.70?
so the new Harriet Tubman 20 dollar bill is only worth 9.24 now?
Yeah because you would only have to do 70% of the work to get it
Oooh
oof
No it would be the same🙂
what do tell a woman with two black eyes?
nothing you done told her twice!
Wow
+Oscar Mike Nothing you have not told her twice....
holy shit that is funny.
lmao great one
+Oscar Mike oh god.....
"Why do women fake orgasms?" "To get to the dishes quicker" BWAHAHAHAHAHA 😂😂😂
three blondes find a genie and each gets one wish
1st blond wants to be smarter, and becomes a redhead
2nd blond wants to be smarter than 1st blond, and becomes brunette
last blond wants to be smarter than all other women, and becomes a man
This is next level offensive humour. And I love it.
O my God 😂
Is it bad that I watched this video on National Women's Day?
Nope.
William Condon
The only bad thing is that you know when the national women's day is!
Lul and 2 years later, I am following in your footsteps....hehehehehehe
Fuck no
William Condon nope😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
how many girls does it take to help in a divorce, two to buy the ice cream and five to form a book club.
+Sidewinder Gaming Heh
Pretty sure neebs has the best voice ever
Have u heard his Spanish ? Its on point. Well funny anyways. Lol
"Mommy, why's daddy running so fast?" "Shut up and reload!"
What's the difference between a women and a grenade.
When you set one off you can run n hide. But when you set off the other one there's no hiding.
One the BEST videos you guys have done (and ya'll have done some GREAT videos)! Felt like I was there with a beer in my hand; outstanding!
But, of course, I'm not sexist.
Sounds like something a sexist would say...
You sound like a sexist...
100% factual
Godly Object me to lol
12 year old
I feel lije Neebs had a beaver jome in him about "wood"
why do woman not need driver licenses.
theres no roads between the bedroom and kitchen.
oh my god, that's such a genius joke.
Omg I’m triggered
@@manialord1699 pussy
A guy is driving and hits a woman, whos fault is it?
The mans, why the hell was he driving in the kitchen?!
Fucking hell😂😂
Did you know the kitchen is where the knives are???
*"TeLl A FuKiNg JoKe"*
- Enginner 2016
The best comeback to the "is it in?" burn is "I can't tell"
+TheH3dgie Better: "is it in?" - "I cant tell - tell -tell -tell..." (while slowly turning down the volume)
Doraleous videos are the best videos!!!
PS. Doralingus... I miss the cartoons.
What do you call a blank piece of paper
Women's rights
Baconater that was too crispy 🔥🔥😂
(●__●)......HAHAHAHA HAHAHA ahh kill me
I'm a guy, and even my girlfriend *who is a figment of my imagination* would say this joke is genius
O
.-.
I claim my teacher is awesome because this one time
so there is only 8 people In our class, 1 of them is a girl (and although this is a short story it was hillarious to me) he was giving out chores "kody take out the garbage, joe sweep, jordan vaccum, brenden clean up the popcorn, KRISTIN! could you do the dishes," she said yes and then he replied with "because you're the only woman"
I am a feminist
I believe women should be allowed to make a sandwich anywhere they want
+Christian Oskar I have a boyfriend
+Saharsh Bishnoi I am an atheist
+Saharsh Bishnoi I am a vegan
+Christian Oskar I'm an anti-animal abuse, introverted, agnostic atheist, that has a INFP personality type.
I am a vegetable rights activist.
PING PONG DING DONG 😂
you know God isn't a woman because we aren't all sandwich's.
never heard a worse joke, i'm sorry
+Jan Brüggemann Haha
+Jan Brüggemann i heard it was ur name
+Jan Brüggemann get rekt.
+Tietäjä 69 says Tietäjä 69. wtf
Kind, beautiful, thoughtful women live on all corners of the Earth!
Get it...
The Earth is fucking round.
Snatch Smasher whoever came up with this is very smart... so he must have been a man
I honestly don't understand sexists.
xXNightshadeLivesXx it's just for fun dude, I genuinely laughed to the one directed to males
Thanks, I'm saving this. Hahaha
Why Condoms don't come in black?
cause black is slimming
🙌🏻😂
Because the black ones never work?
+Alonzo Soto the black ones are the biggest(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) aka me
+je moeder henk haha okay... This wasn't a size joke though
Alonzo Soto i don't care (͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
inb4femenists flag this video.
Seriously?
+bestFreemaneva the jokes go both ways.. equal op
really dude
Hahaha
+Eli Evans Feminazis don't care lol,it could be 100 men jokes,10 feminist jokes and they still would think its sexist towards women
Someone needs to animate these
yes exactly!
Animate what guys talking over Battlefield gameplay?
Wagon battlefield friends
"You're the one that started with small talk, Just tell a f-ing joke already" classic neebs
been a long time since I had to pause the video from laughing to hard.
I cried...I am not sexist btw
why the fuck did you cry?
Shadow Nuke you sound just like a pussy.
That's what a sexist would say
My wife asked for a watch for Christmas. I told her no there's a clock on the stove
"So we're all sexist, right?"
That's when you realize it's going to be a great video
I know it’s late but
What do you call a gay transgender.....
Reversal
Nice. Very underrated comment
Glitziin The Alien ? I don’t get it
Straight with extra steps
Q: what is similar between a Jew and a hard nipple.
A: they both disappear after a hot shower.
Lmao
nice.
Oh my fuking God!!!
Follow my instagram extra.crispy.jews for memes thx bye
lI_Toasty_Il let's trade shoutouts
RIP Thick, you amazing sexist.
Sexism= Pro gamer move.
I was straight dying front to back on this one fellas. Hilarious.
can already hear anita sarkesian making a rage vid about this xD
I dunno who she is but i bet she likes horses and got disappointed when her horse didn't got a telescopic sausage
9:08 Holy shit, Simon's reaction is the best!
What's strong enough for a man but made for a woman?
The back of my hand!
I love these videos you guys do they are the best. #notsexist
+Neebs Gaming is real :3 waaaa
+Neebs Gaming YAY cheers
Jeep stuff remix 2 plz
It's ok to be a little sexist everyone is sexist/racist/homophobic at times
Gavin Edgerton you'll always cheer for your home team
I'm going to post this on tumblr..... lol jk
+IzzyGoneCrazy lol don't do that!
BaconLove lol not a chance
That's what a sexist would say
+TheGamer 101 lol
TheGamer 101 :P if you say so
What do you do when your wife doesn't do anything
Take her back to the store
That was hilarious. Well done.
Man I freaking love this channel when ever I have an anxiety attack I think to myself I need to watch a video from neebs and and the crew. Keep up the good work and never change please. You guys are my Heros thank you for being apart of my life. =D
*tumblr feminists heavy breathing*
The main one thing I like about these videos is they always devolve into a argument.
Here's one: How many married women does it take to mow a lawn?
One, to make her husband do it.
Married women are lazy asf😂
With a title like that, I'm amazed there's only one dislike. I guess Neebs Gaming doesn't attract much of the Tumblr demographic to begin with.
Hearing them bicker with each other is always great.
How come Hellen Keller couldn't drive?
She was a woman.
Marcus Garay and she was blind
Fried Fingers /r/woosh
Fried ur wrong she faked it so nobody knew she was a bad driver
Cars didn't exist when she was alive. And even if they did, she wouldn't have been able to drive anyways because she was deaf AND BLIND.
Spokane Valley Freeway I believe a wooooshing is in order
A woman breaks her ankle and her husband takes her to home depot and says...
MY VACUUMS BROKEN
I watched this multiple before and yet
"How is a woman like a condom?"
"Shes made of rubber?"
Lemonade came out of my nose
You should do religious jokes next
Chris M YES!
Chris M what's the diffrence between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?
It only takes one nail to put up a picture of Jesus.
Jews have to bee watched at all times when entering a bank
Science flys you to space
Religion flys you into skyscrapers.
Why don't Jewish people take showers?
They're not falling for that one again.
If you watch Cinderella backwards it's about a woman finding her place
A guy lost his life today. He got his finger stuck in a wedding ring
I'm not a sexist, racist or a rude person at all, but I honestly find these jokes funny. Hearing the female sexist jokes made me actually laugh and made my day. Instead of taking life and everything so seriously, laugh instead. It takes you less energy to see the bright side of it :) If not, leave this comment section alone and let people who can have a laugh share their jokes with each other.
Neebs Gaming community, you guys rock :)
If you break a mirror, you get seven years bad luck, but if you break a condom, you get 18 years
What are hurricanes normally named after women
Answer: when they come there wild and wet but when they leave they take your house and car
They're conversations are just as funny as Battlefield Friends. Thanks for all the great content guys.
"How many men does it take to screw in a lightbulb?"
"It depends. Is he gay?"
Boy and girl walk up a hill and the boy has a bike and says to the girl. "See this? This is a boy's you can't have one" so girl goes home tells her mom and come backs the next day with a bike.
Next day boy meets with a football and says " see this? This is a boy's you can't have one" girl goes home tells her mom and comes back with a football
Boy drops his pants and says "see this? This is a boy's you can't have one" so little girl goes home tells her mom and comes back next day ...... Lifts her skirt and says " my momma says as long as I have one of these I can have as many of those as I want" 🤣🤣
I expected more dislikes than this. These jokes were hilarious.
"you go to the mal get a mirror it;s fun" omg lmao
ive watched all the best ___ jokes and im crying right now these are friggin hilarious.
Dying of Laughter great show -
And I'm part of your 2% demograghic ;)
Knock Knock
WHo's there?
Man with a bomb Fuckin bang
Think the wife's dead. The sex is the same, but the dishes are piling up
"To get to the dishes faster"
*nearly chokes laughing*
How long does it take for a divorced man to screw a light bulb?
No body knows, they never get the house
I know a good one
Anita sarkesian
What do you do if the girls heart is closed?
Gently knock on the liver.
5:07 I like how thick was like “ I have named my penis” after they were saying none of us here have
Why do brides wear white?
Don't all kitchen appliances come in white?
Dad jokes are missing
YES!!!!
Did you hear they made a device that makes cars run 95% quieter??
Yeah it's just a ballgag
0:52 When your friend asks you a joke question and waits for you to reply
We really need to get some jokes that offend men
if you make them then men call you a snowflake :D
@@noon6064 of course lol, no doubt that the women are snowflakes
This is my new fav channel
What do you do if your dishwasher stops working?
Punch her in the face and remind her of her duties
What do a wife and a hand grenade have in common?
Take off the ring and half your house is gone.