Episode 2 - Being Gay in the 80's (London, England)
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- Опубліковано 11 лют 2025
- Barry tells us what it was like to be gay in the 80s, in the United Kingdom. A time when AIDS was ‘the gay plague’ and homosexuality controversial.
Deliberate Thought Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License
creativecommons...
I was born in 1962 and can fully relate to this. Even in Belgium it was hiding, being scared. So glad things got better, thanks to all those who stood up for us. THANK YOU.
I came out on the London gay scene early in 1985, aged 21. It was a difficult time to come out, as stated by Barry in this video. I'm now 56, having survived well enough, from what was at times a bumpy journey! Thanks for sharing. ☺💞
You and I are the same age and came out at the same, age 21.
We should be very proud of ourselve's.
It was a very impossibly hard time to come out.
We made it brother❣
@@dubcampbell2870 where did you first 'come out', London for me. Bolt's, Harringay, and Heaven. January 1985. Well done to you also. We survived the journey! 🌞
@@rabbit64sj91 In a country town of 500 in West Virginia here in the U.S.
@@dubcampbell2870 that must have been an amazing experience for you. Would love to hear more about it, if you feel so inclined? Best Wishes, Tim ☺️
woah...35 years ago...
I have to say that Barry looks great for a man who must now be in his late 50s!
Thanks David
barry nicholson yeah Barry you’re a total daddy!
he look`s better than me for sure
Indeed hey 💕
He looks really good. Better that most men at his age.
I too lived in London in the mid-1980s. Attitudes back then were terrible. Reactionary, bigoted, just dreadful. So dreadful, in fact, that I left the country in 1988 and have lived in Switzerland ever since. My parents threw me out of the family, I wasn't allowed to see my siblings or go home. I didn't for five years. And I didn't see my parents for three years. It took them 10 years to visit me in Switzerland. Now, fortunately, things are much better. But attitudes back then really were draconian; I suffered hugely. Hurrah for the changes in attitudes that have taken place since then. And yes, Barry, you are a very, very attractive man :-))). Hope you're happy and have put those terrible times behind you!
Absolutely bizzare to hear about this time and very sad too. I'm British and was born in the mid 90s and I've always been encouraged to be who I am and every single person in my entire family, extended in every direction, supports me. I can walk freely with my boyfriend hand in hand and we never have any problems. People used to look but now they rarely even do that, they just get on with their lives. In my education teachers would immediately punish students if someone said anything remotely homophobic, there were councillors on hand that you could talk to and you can be open with doctors and healthcare professionals about your orientation without fear. It's completely illegal for any establishment to discriminate against you. We can sit in restaurants and hold our hands across the table and have date nights without any judgement. But it's not just that places are forced to respect you, staff genuinely do. On our anniversary, I can't even count the times staff at different restaurants wished us a happy anniversary.
On the subject of HIV, there's more understanding of it now than there was before. I have friends who are positive and on medication and I hug them and spend time with them without any fear because I know that a) they are managing it and b) it would be impossible for me to contract it that way anyway
He look's bloody good for someone who would now be in his 50's.
Just imagine how he looked like in the 80s😍
Hunkkkk
@@ale0417 Oh yes! 😍
No women stressing him out
why do you think of a decript damaged individual older individual when you imagine someone in their 50s? like can't peopel come in all shape and sizes and looks despite age? i hate ageism so much
Great job Barry. Thank you for sharing.
Hello Cabin😍
Terrible time to be gay, the scars run deep. Here in Australia it was just as awful. Truly wonderful that young gay people today have a (mostly) different experience.
Wow, I had no idea even in Australia. I was in London the late 70s and came out there and met wonderful gentleman am I young age that took care of me and respected me and they were gay. it was just before aids and I flew back to America at that time so I never knew… London that way. It’s so very sad for me to learn this. 😞
I remember all this as if it were yesterday goes the saying. YES and very much enjoyed this. Larry Grayson, John Inman, were used to promote our identity. Lest we forget... Thank you for bringing this to the notice of the World. We have a duty to remind younger people, irrespective of sexuality, what our generation were put through by the nasty people, yet we survived - lived to tell...
This is so crazy to me as a 1996 born 27 year old. Makes me feel very kucky
There is lot to learn from this.
1) UK has tremendously improved since then, and it proves every country can.
2) But awareness should be done carefully to prevent people from getting a wrong impression about gay people.
3) Always use protection (for sexual intercourse), not just for your own safety, but for the future of all LGBT people, because history can repeat itself.
It’s not improved for Trans ppl 🤬
The more I know about Thatcher, the more darkness surfaced.
Wonderful video. Very articulate (and handsome!) man. I arrived in London in 1986 age 23 so I relate to all of this. Awful as it was like Barry describes, hard to believe that even that was paradise to those of us escaping the provinces. I came up from Plymouth where I'd lived for 3 years (laughed at openly at coffee break, "bender" shouted at me in the corridor, colleagues greeting me with "hello sweetie! - and this was in nurse training - the caring profession ha! Even a tutor once made a crack about me having a handbag). London was at least a little more enlightened than that, but the problems were still very real. That dentist story - I was sent to see a GP in West London for a pre-mortgage life assurance medical and had a similar experience, doctor petrified to touch me. And I'd tested HIV negative. So glad we've moved on but we mustn't become complacent. Just look at any of the gay Russia or gay Africa videos on here and not least cop the homophobic tirades that appear in the comments below. Never give up.
When this happened, I lived up north and totally understand you
He is so telling my story of how it was back in the 80s. I will be 55 on June 28th and he is telling the exact same story that I witnessed in Houston Texas
I can totally relate to your feelings and story the 80s wasn't easy for me either.
Thank you so much for this valuable testimony. I'm sharing it on my transdisciplinary EFL blog as well as in the alternative media I've joined ever since I left Facebook.
London was like that... but Amsterdam was just like that. All over the world it was the same. Life was difficult as a gay man. Every week i went to a funeral, lost all my friends
Why you lost your friends bro
@@swayamprakashrajput8508 because of aids.... strange times..all my friends that time died of aids...just one friend is still alive and stayed a the time close to me
@@t.r.9542 Okay bro
Thanks for reply
@@t.r.9542Yes, due to drug abuse and AZT, not some invisible bogeyman such as the 3 letter acronym!
#GayLivesMatter 2020.....Thank you for this VT.... HIV was not a gay issue, it was a world crisis like COVID 19.....Never saw this footage of Maggie... I am heartbroken by her comments....Love is all we need in this world....
A really sad story beautifully told. Fear makes people do bad things. Hoping you are in a happy place now.
Wow thanks for sharing this. Very insightful!
The same happened to me as a chef starting out..I wasnt allowed to touch the food anymore and was put on washing up..the staff signed a petition to get me sacked
I'm so glad they added subtitles.
Who's watching this during the covid pandemic and relating to his trip the dentist.
Hiii
Thank you, Barry, for your moving testimony. I know all too well the pain, sorrow, and frustration of that time in the UK. I taught in a profoundly conservative, homophobic international school outside of London, and many colleagues ostracised me. How lonely and desperate I sometimes felt. My gay brothers and sisters were not always as welcoming and friendly either. I am relieved that those sad, shameful stories now belong to the past. Now retired, I find myself back in the fatherland (The Netherlands) where I finally feel content, satisfied, serene, and... whole.
He is Adorable
Thank you for your view and this interesting informations of the 80s. Btw you look unbelievable great! 🙂
Thank you. I needed to see that!
Peace.
Enjoyed this, great stories 🤗
I was in the Army early 80s, while still in the army in 1986, i started going to gay bars in London and Dortmund where I was based. Great times.
@@OscarDirlwood LOL I bet you are all excited over that thought. You dutty old man.
@@OscarDirlwood Wow so you get excited at the idea of teenagers boys and girls being killed.
So when you were a kid did you used to torture and kill small animals.
@@OscarDirlwood I am bored so entertain me, tell me of all the wars you have been to, all the medals you won, all the comat you have tasted. I am sure you have so many stories . Walt :)
@@OscarDirlwood When you were talking about how natural it is to kill another man. I am sure there is a warrior, inside you waiting to come out. so do me a favour , come back and entertain me, with your many tales of bravery, after you have seen the elephant. :)
@@OscarDirlwood Yup tell me all about it whe you get back. have a nice trip.
I lost many good friends that died of AIDS rip for ever in my heart 💓
Listen very carefully Barry! I shall say this only once! ... You are so handsome... and funny... and you have a friendly face. Thanks for sharing all this with us! Kisses and gretings from sunny Portugal!
My god. I cannot believe how much people like them have been through.
I was at school during the 80s. I remember the A.I.D outbreak. People did ridicule and titled it the gay mans disease. It may have been the beginning of acceptability, but it wasn't. There was little information and most of that was disapproval, but the 80s was very gratuitous and ignorant. So it wasn't defined as was seen as a lifestyle and personal choice.
This isn't a particularly personal view of the 80'sl, it's almost an objective view of the eighties with the backdrop of AIDS. I was a young gay man in the 80's and I found it fantastically liberating, in a way I couldn't have imagined growing up as a young lad in the 70's. Yes there were negatives, but most people already know those.
I remember the first gay venue i ever went to was Heaven in London, my mind was blown, it was possibly the most exciting night of my life. I would love to hear those kind of stories too, the personal ones.
Me too. The stories of “it was terrible being gay” are way overdone. I lived through the 1980s in London on a twin track: one track was working and playing hard and making lots of friends and enjoying life and the other was the AIDS backdrop of losing friends and worrying about it. But we got on with it and made the best of it. Now people - particularly trans activists - kick up hell about micro aggressions such as being “misgendered” etc and the craven LGBTQI activists try to threaten anyone with a different opinion into silence.
What a bloody horrible period it was. Scared of losing your job, home, family. We were made out to be feeble minded monsters who deserved AIDS as some kind of punishment. The media, politicians and most of the public couldn't have cared less about us or the huge problems we faced.
People didn't laugh AT Mr Humphries they laughed WITH him. I was on the gay scene in London in the late 80s and 90s and it could be a vicious place to be
No gay people laughed with him the rest laughed at him and they still do
Such a HANDSOME man! We need more Brits to move here to the US, they are super hot!
Gone are the days .... Lv visiting the UK, in the eighties ...the more things change, the more they remain the same especially for minorities. ..looking Fab mate, maybe we are more aware, of keeping what we had ...for as long as we can .... keep safe ! 😷
Hello Chuck😍
So sorry about that. That must have been a crazy, trying time.
Same generation here. But totally different experience. Grew up in the outskirts of a small very provincial town in Italy and nobody ever cared or said anything to me for being gay (and at that time veeeery flamboyant). How does it come that from the very modern UK and US I hear sooo often gays struggling and fighting for gay rights?!?
Hello Fabio😍
The USA has to this day problems with religion. Its weaponized in our political system. Judges are appointed and pushed through "fast track" confirmation hearings if they oppose abortion, gay rights, affirmative action, etc. Hopefully this will stop for the moment under Biden and Democratically controlled branches of government.
Barry is absolutely lovely and very handsome!
The presenter is so outrageously handsome and sexy that it’s almost unnatural! And he looks about 35.
The Thatcher speech clip is pure unintentional comedy!
Born in 1971 in United States. I was young, but have a good memory, & have always been very observant. I remember these times & try to tell others of it. Younger people usually think I am making half of it up. Or, they just can’t conceive of it.
in terms of music and style the 80s was a great period......but in terms of politics it was like the middle ages with thatcher and reagan, it was even unheard of being in an interracial relationship.
American media never showed the gay bashing by politicians or otherwise in Britain. I lived through the Aids early era in New York City. I didnt really see the public over reacting to the issue. What I did see was the gay community reacting in life changing fear and despair. As whole gay areas lost so many people that neighborhoods were no longer gay. San Francisco at one time on a visit during the crisis I remember seeing signs in one apartment after the next that they were for rent. Generally in my lifetime I think America has been the leader in tolerance and change in regard to attitudes.
Growing up gay in the 80s sucked. Being gay in the 90s sucked. Being gay in the 2000s sucked. Being gay in the 2010s sucked. Being gay now sucks too...
I agree. People say everything's fine now, but as a lesbian I still can't walk down many London streets hand in hand with my partner and feel safe. Or not get stared at. Or not get comments, it's not all kumbaya
I was 18 in 1990 in the American South and this was our story too!!!
Hi there, would love to meet you in person in Soho to hear more stories
It's frustrating to see how lots of people nowadays try to glorify Thatcher, just because she was a female leader
Thatcher, who had no problem with her rich anf powerful mates fecking miners and minors.
I remember all of this - wow` - thanks for sharing
I remember the 80's I was young and yes it was hard times, I'm glad things have changed but the fight for equality to our GLBTQ must continue
We’ve come on such a long way since then. Also in relation to the conservatives they are now the ones who agreed to civil partnerships and now gay marriage. In the 80s when the AIDS epidemic came about people were scared of gay people as a gay man I can look back and can kind of understand how people would think that however we aren’t so ignorant about it now. There’s more tolerance. I think Princess Diana done wonders for people who had hiv and AIDS.
I grew up in the 1980’s in Rural Ireland as a teenager, where Ireland was a very Catholic country and as a result, a very stable and secure country - I never thought I’d find myself saying this as an older Irish gay man now, but despite all its apparent faults, the 1980’s was a far better time for young people - and in the last 40 years, with 22 years living here in the U.K., the gay rights movement has been infiltrated, hijacked and corrupted, pushing it too far in all the wrong directions and in all the wrong ways - not only should the decriminalisation of homosexuality in Ireland never taken place, nor Irish gay Marraige equality, Section 28 here in the U.K. should have remained in place and now needs to be reinstated - Covid has taught us some very harsh lessons about the need to return to traditional social and moral values and to “roll back” many of the changes since the 1980’s, as many of us have been deceived for 40 years by those with agendas all their own - the levels of prejudice and discrimination from within the gay community against those of us with a cautionary and conservative mindset has been off the scale and points to hidden agendas within the LGBT elites - indeed, I myself cut all ties and support for the gay community 18 years ago and despite being born into the Vatican II Catholic faith, became a traditional Catholic and Irish Patriot
Barry looks fantastic for a 57 year-old.
Oh I felt so sorry after seeing your video...even such a developed part of the world had stringent laws !! I am from India
I am also from🥞🚟🇮🇳
I was born in 79, thus I was banned from speaking about any positive about my cousin who was a girl who had a girlfriend who I had a fantastic relationship with, why wouldn't I, but couldn't believe that at school I was told off for talking about her at all, that was just incredibly confusing and has made me passionately pro LGBTQAI all my life, also I only got one other thing from Thatcher and that was the first Saturday after her death fell on my birthday so I got to troff the earth with miner's, queers and all others at Trafalgar Square as we collectively rejoiced her departure, although it may be likely that she had already been trying to close furnaces in Hell 🔥
I’m 72 and gay went through all that and still loved mrs thatcher,no politician can give you everything,
Section 28 didn't effect you personally but to those of us it did, we despise her for it.
I agree. I’m gay and remember the 1980s very well and Thatcher was very good for the country, particularly the economy. Labour in the 1970s was utterly incompetent and economically illiterate. No politicians dealt well with AIDS because it was something that came out of the blue and which baffled everyone including scientists.
Even interracial marriage was accepted mostly
Thatcher was lunatic to put it nicely
so Thatcher's law was a fore runner to the Putin law- surprised that was never pointed out in all the stories on Russia lately.
Oh darling! It was a sad and hard time. You look so gorgeous...inside and outside. Be strong. Greetings from Israel (the country)
Legislation against human rights violation is a necessity and it needs to spell out the protection of LGBTQIA people
Nice one.........👍👍👍👍👍
I like you give me your phone number please
I remember the eighties like it was yesterday I was going thur primary school at the time.
I hope I look like Barry when I am that age. He must look after himself.
That's a fine looking man. I hope he has a social media account where I can follow.
Hey - that's a music from Free Science Lessons
I'm. Gayties teenager. It was an amazing and scary time to grow up but it was amazing
3:07 "they didn't bother finding out" whether you had HIV. But how would they have been able to find out, short of asking you to take an HIV test?
Your word alone would not have been sufficient to reassure them, because you might not have been telling the truth.
I agree that the extreme lengths those dentists went to were very distressing to you and many others. But it was not surprising given how little was known for certain then about how the virus could and could not be transmitted - many lives could in principle have been lost.
Gay #MeToo movement would put legislatures, scientists and clergy men behind bars. A lot of parents would hide in corners for having violated their children.
England has gone from being one of the worst countries for gay people, to one of the best in that time.
I used to love the two brewers in Clapham
Nice content
I'm so small minded. I only watched the video because he was extremely attractive lol
You can’t blame people who covered up, no one knew what caused it. And to get it was a death sentence.
Yes he didn’t tell you Margaret Thatcher voted to decriminalise homosexuality did he?
She voted to decriminalise homosexuality in the 60s and was the main force to almost turn back time in the 80s.
Craptastic 80s turn what back? To recriminalise homosexuality?
@@zachariah4853 As if that wasn't the plan. I bet for many gay people it felt like beging gay was recriminalised again.
Craptastic 80s that’s a complete make believe
@@zachariah4853 If you want to believe she was a saint that's fine. But I and many others know she was far from it.
We've come so far since the 1980's.
Until 2020. Now we have COVID-19 and some how it feels exactly the same, except without the gay....
The RF 82 II got more bass than the RF 7.. The RF 7 has much bigger speaker size than the RF 82 but sound wise I prefer RF 82...Much crispier sound and does not like a tube sound like RF 7.. Thats my opinion...
I'm sure Barry is better looking now than when he was in his early twenties :)
Barry is very cute and I hope he is doing well,very interesting video and yes Thatcher was a bitch!
And yes, Maggie was a TERRIBLE woman. Really horrible. I remember Section 28 and thinking... Oh my god, what's going to happen now? Fortunately, those times are over. Now we have other delightful problems of a similar nature. Hey-ho!
It was a generalised comment to a question (which you didn't hear). Is being so judgemental isn't any different?
Well Barry thanks a lot for the commentary. I had no idea that Thatcher was such a homophobe. I think the death of rock Hudson kind of opened peoples perspective on what a gay man might be. I loved Mr. Humphries, despite that he was a stereotyped effeminate male. We know diversity pervades the BLGTQ+, I say, BLGT-LMNOP Da Da Da community. The Birdcage movie sort of depicted masculine and sissy male with Robin Williams and Nathan Lane as a couple. In Canada of course replete with American television, Oprah was demystify the gay scene through interviews that elucidating“ gay “ and interviewing many individuals. I’m thinking gay people knew to continue, to stand up and change the society towards inclusivity. Spouse was changed in the supreme court to include man man and woman woman. A small group of men I knew in Toronto had the laws changed to allow men to get married, ( 20 year battle) those ways.I remember the early days in the 80ies. Gay Pride marches had a couple thousand people. Then suddenly 200,000 people. The next year 400,000 people. The next year reports were 600,000 people. The Hetero news held onto 600,000 people for two years. But their were well over 1 million. 2 million people for world pride in Toronto. So I guess the plan is to participate and contribute in society towards anti-discrimination legislation, equality and the democratic process. I guess you can’t be gay without being political. Even if it’s just on a one to one basis, if that’s your nature, to help educate the close minded.
I hated the gay scene in the 80s. One great big meat market. Most couldn't look beyond how people looked. Superficial...and soul destroying. I guess it's still the same. I'm gay and felt the whole gay scene to be a negative experience. Glad I'm older and no longer have that desire to have relationships.
So strange that the camp image of gay men was always linked to them. Thank God times have changed.
And now we are in the midst of have another plague. And going to the dentist won’t feel any different to his sad description of how he was treated in the 80s at the dentist.
It'll feel very different, definitely. Imagine how it feels when you're the only one around who is treated like that, when the extreme protocol only applies to you for who you are. Nothing compared to when it applies to everybody.
They were the best times
Do they still ask if you sleep with men before testing for hiv?
Good story
0:55 i'm just admiring her accent
Even I cant understand english to much
Basically, the Iron Lady only spoke gobbledygook with posh accent. Good riddance.
Poor man. Hope everything worked out for him in the end
I miss the 80s better then what it is now gays had more class back then too
That's what my doc really looks like to protect her from covid...
It's typical that so many comments are on the guys looks, it seems gays never lose their superficiality.
tetsuan25 because of course heterosexuals never comment on people looking good, do they? It seems some people (that’s you) never lose their desire to put gays down.
what? You mean that everything in life should be hard, dour, lacking in pleasure and austere without any room for the enjoyment of beautiful things and attractive people, laughter and happiness? How boring you sound...whatever your sexual orientation may be....
L
by chance are you apart of the british army?
well said x
I lived through that era as a Gay man and while some of the politics are represented correctly, this is not the broad reality of the life I lived then. Gay culture was almost entirely underground and hidden before the 80s, Clause 28 had no effect in schools because there was nothing in schools about ‘Gayness’ prior to it being introduced. It was never used because of the ‘vagueness’ you mention. AIDS gave a visibility to Gay men which was negative but new. It wasn’t that we had previously had positive visibility to any degree. In fact, being ‘Out’ grew as a personal and political position in the 80s despite (or because of) the AIDS crisis. Bars and clubs proliferated and came up from the cellar and the locked door. Pride exploded. Thatcher was not especially interested in Gays and there was no major political push back. The push back came from the press. There wasn’t a great deal of support from any political party. Support came from Gay men and their friends through individual activism (ACT UP) and creation of charities like THT.
@ Reason restored. I could not agree more. This diatribe is posted by an extreme left wing political agitator and although I agree that Mrs. Thatcher did make the speech in question she was not anti-gay. In fact one of junior ministers was openly gay which is more than we can say for member of the labour party at that time. It is sad to see somebody using this site to attack a former Prime Minister when she is no longer around to defend herself. This is symptomatic of the left to still bring up what they conceive as gay hatred 40 years later.
I was at school in the 80s and I can assure you that clause 28 absolutely did have an effect. The level of casual homophobia was disgraceful, both from teachers and pupils, and nobody would address or challenge it through fear of breaking the law. It effectively allowed the bullying and isolation of gay kids to go completely unchecked. I also remember in sex education classes - they wouldn't even discuss gay sex or how to keep yourself safe because of clause 28. Absolutely appalling.
@@Robob0027 I agree that Thatcher had a much more complex attitude towards gay people in private, but that speech she chose to make was the face she presented to the public. It was an absolute disgrace, and can have done nothing but encourage and entrench homophobia. She was effectively giving a green light to the more unpleasant elements of the conservative party, culminating in the shameful disgrace of clause 28. Despite what she may have thought or done with gay people she personally knew, this speech and her legislative record towards gay people is a disgrace.
She is right
No in the 80s it wasnt getting acceptable nor was it in the 90s. I was born in 1978. And seen repeated articles of gays being gunned down and left in ditches to die. Three of my friends died in my arms from being shot for being gay. I was lucky to get behind a dumpster just in time before being shot also
at 1:54 i think he said "mincing" not "men seen"
Yes I said mincing
Me and all my gay friends in the 70’s found “Are you being served?” and any camp humour absolutely hilarious, and still do. Let’s have more camp humour and stop being so sensitive and offended by everything!
Paul B Agree, and I’m straight, but being an artist, have always had any number of gay friends. Mr. Humphreys, we loved him! Maggot Thatcher, no way.
While those growing up in the 70s feared being labelled a Mr Humphreys (usually far worse). And Graham Norton and Alan Carr were yet to burst on our screens.