Anger is part of the healing process and the acceptance of this unfair treatment that happened also needs to take place for you to move forward freely without that negativity holding you back
Keep your expectations in line with reality... This is a broken world filled with broken people. Thank you again Dr. Carter. I'm 3 weeks free, the hoovering is in full force and I need strength to stay true to my resolve. He can't be anything other than what he is. It's my expectations that are out of whack.
It is interesting to know how mistreatment can make us bitter. I had seen this bitterness in women who were disappointed to have broken up. I find it difficult to have tolerance with people that treats us badly when we feel threatened by them so bitterness is all you get if you do not stand up for your rights.
I agree 100%. I believe bitterness is an underlying problem with Narcissists. They became so embittered and wouldn't forgive or let go and as a result, became hardened and their conscience shut down. Bitterness involves playing the blame game instead of working on self. It prevents us from moving out of victimhood. Anger is a necessary stage, but we have to be careful not to remain there indefinitely. Good video!
An important thing I’ve learned here is not to rely on others for my view of me or to believe they’ll provide my happiness. Another reason I come here is for the wisdom and truth of how I can become a better me 🙏🏻
I really struggled with anger and hatred towards my narcissistic mother way back in my childhood until adulthood and especially now when i knew about narcissism and codependency after 37 years. I didn't know how to deal with it. All i know before was that, i was not allowed to be angry and to express it. I remember too well as a child that since i was taught that way by my narc mom never to reason out and to feel angry with her psychological, verbal, emotional and physical abuse, i cried so hard in front of her in the attempt to explain myself and to let her know how i feel but cannot, as a child then i would cry, i think its my way or my body's response towards the injustice done to me but even that i was not allowed. As a child, I was not allowed to reason out, to explain my side, my thoughts, my point of views, or simply to talk to her about the truth that i didn't do anything bad. I was not allowed even to cry because for her my cries were a sign of being rebellious. I would try so hard then to stop myself from crying everytime abuse is being served. Anger, bitterness, and hatred is something that i don't want to store up within me but it is definitely something that i truly struggled with. Thank you Dr. C for this video because i find comfort, enlightenment and good guidance on how to deal with in a healthy way.♥️
9:09 Respectfully, we can not expect anything from anyone. This is the gateway to disappointment and the inevitable search for approval. I can only expect what I can do for myself. Your message is loud and clear.
Thank You So Very Much For Sharing After Years Of Horrible Abuse From The Narcissists.After Chasing This Person’s Acceptance. After Doing This Never Being Accepted. Constant Humiliation.Then After Being Discarded I Had Anger Issues It Took A While To Finally Let Go Of The Anger, Issues.I Forgave MySelf.The Best Peace In The World With A Toxic Person Is Letting Go No Contact.Ever.
There's a special jewel in your crown for sure! I am so thankful that God led me your way. These videos are such a lifesaver! I appreciate your life, your ministry, and we can't forget about Gus. Thank you once again! God bless you bunches.
Thank you. This has been a struggle for me and is getting harder for me to deal with as I age. Bitterness can be exhausting. "Not all human beings can be deemed as reliable" is definitely a quote that resonates with me.
Good points! Another I would like to add, is that feeling this bitterness toward others who have harmed/hurt you and allowing it to reside in your body, can bring illness on yourself (as I found out recently)....BE SURE TO PRACTICE SELF CARE.... these people are who they are and we can't fix or change them, and it is not "our responsibility" to do so. Rise above their broken behavior by taking your power back: learn to say "no", have a "plan of action" if you are forced to be in their company so that you have an "exit strategy", or, make plans "not" to be in their field of crazy energy at all! I feel your pain out there, as I have struggled mightily with this myself....now working on healing my resulting illness! My advice: be smarter than I was!!!
@@vals74 I just finished watching Dr. Joe Dispenza's video on youtube titled: How to Control Your Mind. Well worth watching as it explains how/why our body took on the illness and how to change the whole scenario! Loved it! Good luck to you!
curlytop kitty.... lesser person is anyone being diminished by a narc brought about ONLY by being in any contact what so ever. Ppl got no soul anymore, been stolen by narcs. uggh. fence sitting observers of destruction dont help either. oh well...
I wish I could remember who to attribute this paraphrase to -- forgiveness doesn't make the offender right, forgiveness makes me free. Thank you Dr. Carter for making me think healthier. I really appreciate you giving your time and expertise to us, a bunch of wounded people who want to heal.
Turn your sense of approval inward. Work on building yourself an amazing island with all the things you need on it, and build your own bridges to other places as you deem fit, and tear down the ones that dont serve your own business. After that, you are you and they are they - only what you do, how you act, and what you want are important. Go and be that person - others aren't related to you, especially those negative people.
What a blessing to hear this message on a Saturday night and missing being part of a couple. I had to walk away 60 plus days ago and I’m still grieving. I just close my eyes at night and drift to sleep and welcome the next day. I don’t allow myself to cling to every emotion. I let the emotion wash over me.... I have been holding on to the anger of allowing myself to be disrespected and was angry for self preservation and now I’m calm and at peace. Less angry but slightly bitter. I don’t want to be that way.....
This was exactly the message I needed today. I’ve been thinking about what kind of person I am and want to continue to be. It hurts to be hurt but I am very aware of myself and I overcome by ascending higher when I’ve been hurt. It always makes me want to understand the situation instead of wallow in pitty, pettiness, or victimization. I realize that my greatest assets and what sets me apart from others is that I never try to exact revenge or get even with people. Instead I choose to humble myself and show compassion no matter how bad it bothers me. Every since I was a child growing up with a very domineering mother who was full of bitterness. I use to say to myself even then that, her pain that she feels deep inside is far worse than what I’m feeling. The misery she knows and is aquatinted with I do not know. I strive everyday to get better, stronger, wiser, and in more control of my actions and attitude. All while showing gratitude because even with all I’ve been through, there is still such a peace, happiness, and joy that I feel inside my soul. I feel sorry for those who do not possess that or who are unable to access their own peace. Thank you Dr. C.!!!
I am a person of self responsibility. Sometimes we have to ask ourselves... what red flags did I miss or ignore? What can I do to change that in the future? I am not saying that we are responsible for our abuse. But seeking full truth empowers us and makes us see that we are in control of what we do and how we react.
I read this book by Patricia Evans... The Verbally Abusive Relationship. Good read. It tells you why you dont see or recognize red flags. It was very enlightening for me to say the least.
This lesson was exactly what I needed to hear and let it sink in. I have been an optimistic and joyful humorous person all my life I am in an angry bitter I don’t care anymore indifferent kind of place I am trying to pull myself out of. Your message was really helpful to me today with good sound advice, instruction and loving professional advice. As always you are awesome! Thank you for the time you put into making your videos.
Going completely no contact with the abuser(s) and praying for their healing is your best defense. By going no contact, you will finally be able to heal and get your happy self back. God is our healer and redeemer & without him this would not be possible for us! We are 2 months narc free and the healing is amazing - we are returning to our old joyful selves more and more as each day passes. God bless you and good luck! :)
In the past when these things were happening to me on a regular basis I was mostly hurt wondering what was wrong with me. I truly felt bad that the mean person couldn't interact with me in reasonable ways. It took years for me to understand that I was not the problem in the relationships in the family. Then I began to pray that God would show me what I was doing to deserve these things. God showed me that it wasn't about me at all, I began to feel sorry for those who cannot feel special without demeaning another person. I tried to talk to them and was met with rage so I gave up and moved on. For a long time I felt bad that there just could not be a reasonable relationship with them, but no longer feel responsible for it. I don't want bad to happen to the mean people I just wish they would confess. If they would ever confess I know I would be excited and could resume the relationship, however I don't expect that to happen. The fact that I would easily receive them back into my life tells me I am not bitter nor ever have been. Bitterness is hatred and I know I don't hate them, I just have given up that anything I do can change things. I have no confidence that them returning without confession could not be trusted to mean they have changed. When we do not confess we have done something wrong then its not likely that there will be a change in the way we behave. I am convinced confession of wrong doing is the first step in changed behavior. Those who don't think they did anything wrong will not be motivated to change. Just some lessons I have learned from my personal experiences.
How can you have this attitude on daily basis while living with a Narcissist? Would love to know your tricks or hacks? Please do reply. I'm also a Christian, newly married and having extremely difficult time living with Narcissist clan.
I agree with you entirely. NEX apologises repeatedly but never names what he's apologising for. Simply says "I made some mistakes; I'm not perfect". Feels like blame shifting to me as he and his minions repeatedly tell me the indisputable facts are my wrong perspective. Talk about overstepping the mark. Covert Narcs thrive in secrecy
Thank you so very much for this breath of fresh air information. This is just what narcissistic abuse victims need to hear - it is fantastic nourishment for our souls, sanity and healing! Holding onto bitterness, loathing, hate, resentment, anger etc... will do absolutely nothing good for any of us - it can end up destroying us though, if we're not careful! My husband and I pray unceasingly for the narcissists in our lives. We surrender them and their disorders to God. We love them (not their evil disorder - Jude 1:22-23 "And have mercy on those who doubt; save others by snatching them out of the fire; to others show mercy with fear, hating even the garment stained by the flesh." These verses tell us to extend mercy and compassion for people, and hate for the sin.) and we pray for their healing daily. Their healing is not only a positive thing for them, but for everyone in their lives as well, and is crucial for everyone's well being! :)
Sometimes we just need a little validation. Thank you Dr. Carter for validating us and for continuing to educate us on how to heal. After a setback with my narcissistic mother, I'm starting over after 6 months no contact and I needed this today. I know after the horrible treatment last night, I need no contact and it's breaking my heart. I'm having such a hard time. Thank you. 💕
When someone speaks your truth with understanding and compassion and enough love to encourage you to turn it to good for you and those you love. He’s got skills ❤️🤗
Thank you Dr. Carter for this wonderful advice and for validating these feelings. Thank you for helping us to steer thru such emotions, because who among us has not said, I do not like who I am when I'm around that person.
I haven't seen him or talked to him in 2 and half weeks. I answered a # that I didn't know by accident. I normally don't do that. It was him. Anger in his voice came out of him was why don't you answer my calls & all I could say was why do think. Angerly he said I just wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas & I said same to you & we hung up. Now I'm back to stomach turning with anxiety! Hope he leaves me alone!
You're a very wise man. Wisdom from God is the only thing that soothes my wounds. Lifelong abuse warps the soul. Sin can find an can find an inroad to ruin.
One must have some level of introspection. When you're hurt, you must heal, and learn how to avoid being hurt again. Time is an ally. Anger, at the end will fade and turn you a into the best person you should be, if managed properly with professional help. Dr C, I give you a 10 ! Thanks again for bringing light on such complex creatures as humans!
Thank you so much Dr. Carter. I love it when you said embrace your anger and just recognize that it's a choice I did that and I just realized that it's only taking me to the wrong direction after a certain time. However I knew this is what I needed to do at that time and it served me well because it kept the toxic and evil people away. My anger was just a statement to say "don't mess with me". Even though I'm still struggling, I smile everyday from Joy. I learned to embrace anger when it's appropriate I lived in a house where anger is not acceptable at all only for the abuser. I have to say it made me stronger to know that I have a choice to be angry so I'm using it wisely.
When your on the bitter down, it is always better to go up. Remember that ‘you’ make those depression chemicals in your brain and ‘you’ control the mixture. No habitual Bitterness; the burden is too great on your body and will make you physically sick.
So glad I looked for a new Dr. Carter video tonight. Bitterness is just the thing I've been worried about taking up residence in me lately. I resist, but it comes back! I can see that depending on other people to live up to what they promise is sometimes creating big problems for me. Need to watch this one a few more times!
Thank you Dr Carter! Narcissism is everywhere and while the world has an abundance of it there is always hope for a brighter future. We don’t have to be consumed by our own narcissistic behaviors or consume others. Watching many of your videos is teaching me to be self aware of not just others, but me as well. Not one of us is perfect or without faults. We all have a choice to be emotionally healthy. Life is a journey to be shared, and a great gift. Thank you again for sharing these helpful videos.
Still Working On This One... I spend a lot of time "looking backwards". But, I'm learning how to look more forward... I have begun stopping myself from negative talk. But with righteous intent. I don't think it's wrong to feel alittle upset with what others have "pulled"... It sucks. What they did sucks. And I have taken my responsibility and grown from giving over to these sorts of things. And allowed them in... I have grown. And I'm alittle upset with things that have happened... Here in lies the beginning... To Let Go. And move forward... That's the tough one.. For a long time I lived in a world where talking poorly. Holding onto these things Was The World.. It's where I grew up... More recently I been focused on building This World for myself. And going from there... I believe it's working... - Driving ride share I interact with a lot of people.. and I am noticing the changes in me. With what Others are saying... They see value in me and it really touches me. It's nice to hear things from these people. As opposed to the ones I Wanted to give love. But will always hold that space between them and others to get close... It's just there. With everyone they interact with. I have learned.. And to see the work I've put in. Just to Get To This Point. It would take an enormous endeavor for these Ones I think of, to work on themselves... But the focus lays on me. It's nice to hear good things from some good people I meet... It shows me, in a way, what to look for in others. And what I can be around. As opposed to what I have settled for. . . Unlearning these old ways is a process. But, another thing I've learned is to take my time growing... Like consistently. As opposed to getting in, one day, knock out my responsibilities or quests I wish to create. And go back into a sort of safe holding pattern.. To take my time looking for new work. And moving. Yes moving forward. But not one hard day of work. And if it doesn't work. Start from zero again... I'm learning. And it feels good... I still wish to move. And have other plans. . . Right now I wish to travel back to Los Angeles, this time as a plan. Rather than a wake up n go. I am saving for it this time. And wish to learn further from this trip... I honestly have never felt better. Still ebb n flow. But much more free. Going back and addressing things from 20 years ago. 14. Puberty. And I enjoy this work I'm doing... Self worth and the types of rejection I've felt. It's all exploratory. But the progress makes me happy. That progress is being made.... This women I drove today. Gave me a hug, at the airport when I dropped her off. . . What she told me was so inspiring. And all she did was talk with me. . . Ask about who I'm dating. I'm single. But simple things like that. Mediation techniques. Sharing those. Diet. Etc. . . And just the small guidance and care she showed. Towards what a good life could be. Not just finding a mate. But finding and challenging myself. . . It's interactions like this. That show what's missing. But also what I should be going for. . . Thanks again for the guidance shown here. Every little bit downloads. And either helps. Or gives me like minded thinking. Which I really like... Thanks. Not Giving Up. ! . The journey continues. . .
I am understanding so well the dinámics of disfunfionality. I really deserve to be worthy of myself and love myself. I was so blind and awakening now to dynamics of my family. Was amazing Dr. Thank you so much. I feel at peace when I listen to your videos.!!
I wish this video existed in Spanish. It’s exactly what I’d love my mother to listen to. I’m your new biggest fan. Thanks for your kindness. As a nurse educator you inspire me to treat my patients w your over pouring wisdom.
Thank you for explaining it, Dr. Carter!! 👍👍The side effects of a narc abuse may not be a bitter or sour heart. On the other hand, it's a blessing in disguise for myself as I discovered my inner being truly living through Him, my Lord and Savior!!😃 Despite all the legitimate causes, I chose to deal with them with my legitimate self in Him. Praise God for His goodness!! Have a nice day and God bless, Dr. Carter!!🙏🤞
How can you have this attitude on daily basis while living with a Narcissist? Would love to know your tricks or hacks? Please do reply. I'm also a Christian, newly married and having extremely difficult time living with Narcissist clan.
@@mrskhan597 Hi there, when I was inside dealing with the narc, I used to live in confusion and daily draining energy, practically I just did my duty as a mom and wife in office functions. I also went through physical abuse during 15 years inside. In 2007, I reported him to the police and checked out and went no contact up to now, while raising the kids alongside. After freeing myself from abusive narc husband and narc circle, I began to find my true self in Him. Met some true friends in teaching. If you have to be around them, my advice would be better for you to find a hobby, passion, or part time work to minimize the contact. All the best to you in your journey!!🙏🤞
Things to consider here for sure . I have been a bitter person for a long time . No therapy or drug has alleviated it . Retribution would be sweet but I don't want to live out my years realizing that it has never come . The bar has been set pretty low by most people I know so it should be easy to rise above one would think . thanks for your counsel on this matter
Yes Dr. Carter you are so right on this...But one thing I have learned threw being married to a NARCISSIST you have a LOT of BITTERNESS!! It takes a while to work threw it and each day gets better...
I can't like this video enough. You have such an insightful and nuanced understanding of all this that comes through so clearly in your videos. Thanks for all you do.
Good video. I understand why I feel the way I do, and I just got to look within more and not get so wound up in my own pain and bitterness. Less ego and more amigo.
Bitterness is an easy but uncomely trap to fall into. One author who really helped me to let go has been Thich Nhat Hahn. I would highly reccomend his books and online resources. A Vietnamese monk exiled from his own country, he began writing about buddhism for Westerners, unfamiliar as we are with its precepts. In particular, his writings and talks about compassion & compassionate listening are fantastic. For the many Christians in this group, please note that buddhism is a philosophy about how to live rather than a religion. There are no deities in buddhism, and you will find many commonalities with teachings attributed to Jesus.
I am not religious but I have read many of Thich Nhat Hahn's books, among other buddhist publications and have found them very helpful in letting go of negative emotions.
Excellent... I really felt that...it was in a way heartbreaking knowing that you’re own husband can’t be trusted but in my heart I know it’s on him not me ...I know some very broken people and I learn from their actions...I know what I don’t want to be
Dr C, Thanks so much for that! We can change ouselves, it's empowering and relevant. I love the way you put that message. It's a delicate topic we need to hear. Thanks for it, I'll be listening to it at least twice more. Possibly more. Thanks for sharing your knowledge and truth with us the way you do. I wish I had heard these messages you do years ago. Life changing Dr Carter!
Anger usually happens (sometimes at the speed of light) when a person has been hurt or disappointed....I always try to remember 2 things...True Justice and Real Revenge belong to God...not us. Let it go and let God. A saying in the orient is sit and rest on the bank of the river and enjoy the day. Sooner or later, the bodies of your enemies will float by. Amazingly enough, letting it go is liberating. Another old saying is "don't hold a grudge. They shed terribly."
Dr You're so kind. Thank you for all the help that you give so freely. These videos are so insightful and helpful. God sent you into my life at a critical time. I appreciate you
Words of pure GOLD! How do you know this is exactly what I needed this morning!! It's been a couple of weeks now but I still feel the sting of being blocked from an online class I was taking. I had friends from the class that have also blocked me because the teacher accused me of stealing her stuff. Nothing could be further from the truth but I can't defend myself against her video she posted accusing me,,, in fact, I can't even watch it!!! I am so grateful for you Dr. Wes, your guidance again, came at a time when it was most needed. You are truly a blessing in my life and I just wanted to say THANK YOU!!!
@@sherrim4067 others went through much worse. The teacher posted a rant on UA-cam about copying her and what she was teaching so I got off easy. People are free to do whatever when they create their class online. I am happy to let it go and move on to better trained instructors. Thanks!
Agree totally this one of the wost things to happen to a person is when someone or people turn you to a bitter person and your not reallt bitter you've just been narrated as such be this can be very overwhelming
Perfect timing! Here visiting family, including one narc. daughter. I remembered to use those helpful phrases you taught but last night, felt true anger and bitterness.
Hi Dr. C! Great to see and listen to you with this video. My God, I can relate. I'm working though (and working to extract myself) from a whole lot of issues-esp with my family. I am the youngest out of 6-a lot of love (at times), but a whole lot of toxic BS, too. Choices, as you say....that absolutely jumped out at me. Choices. Amen to that. Not easy, but making movement.....thanks Dr. C! :) JV Johnny
About an hour ago, I did a search online for "rooting out bitterness" and I found an article about praying about it and that was helpful and thought-provoking, then I had to go and do some other things, thinking I would definitely get back to that article. Then just now, I was taking a break and checking out my UA-cam notifications and saw to my surprise there was one video on this channel that I hadn't watched yet. I was absolutely stunned to see the title of this video as the one I had yet to watch, then the beginning title as the vid began to play mentioning bitterness. This is the kind of synchronicity that can only be a God thing, as I feel the prayer article prepared me for this video that I had somehow missed until now. Just wanted to let you know, Dr. C, that you're being used as a channel of healing to broken hearts in this broken world. I'll be watching this video again and again along with using the prayerful advice in the article I read earlier today. Thank you and bless you.
An unrelated question: how to find passion again after it's gone? Passion for something that you love(d). The thing that's part of your soul and your soul pines for it, yet the passion to pursue it is gone.
My narc stole what brought me joy. Eleven years I spent belonging to a group which he had only just joined but refused to stay away from or to share and has now thus tainted. People in the group who I thought were friends continue to cheer him on even after I told them how he had emotionally abused me. I have had to walk away from the thing that brought me passion because they would not believe how he had mistreated me. It broke my heart but I have had to give up and accept that he could steal my life from me, that my ‘friends’ would support him while he did so and there was nothing I could do about it. Better a lack of passion than a mental battering!
Why do people think retribution is an automatic follow-up to having been treated badly? I want a positive outcome for everyone. If they think they have the upper-hand and are correct, so be it. BUT what I do want is the compensation and justice deserved. I do not want to hang on to anger, but until there is resolve, it is hanging on to me. I am calm, I am a peaceful and loving person, BUT the narc is devastating my life and others. If I lose, so be it, but I feel I must at least try to get closure and vindication. Yes, I realize the possibility of things coming out even worse, but I feel I must at least try to be heard.
So true. I don't need to apply for a position as an understudy to Houdini in order to never be reminded of my past again in fear or go see a Hypnotherapist to leave my fears behind.
Greetings, Dr.C.! Annette here again. I'm still watching your videos regarding Narcissism but am also thoroughly enjoying your Dignity/Respect/Civility series. Your videos help me more than I could ever hope to convey with words. I have been maligned and mistreated emotionally and it has been very unfair and very hurtful. The person responsible for injuring me refuses to hear "my side" - I believe this is because the person knows that the argument against me is extremely weak and by not allowing me to defend myself, there will not be a requirement of this person admitting wrongdoing. I have been asking for a meeting for a long time to discuss this ridiculous attack on my character, all to no avail. In my opinion, if this person truly believed I am the one "in the wrong" and the person, the one "in the right", this person would surely welcome an open discussion. I battle between trying to defend myself and telling myself that it's not worth my time and energy. I really needed this video today! Thank you very much for all of the help you have given me. You are very kind. You are brilliant! So knowledgeable! What a joy! 😊 You're the best! I appreciate you. Please pray for me that I can get this issue resolved one way or another.
@@DrLesCarter Thank you for that, Dr. C. - I needed that! This person knows I deserve better but isn't strong enough to say, "I am wrong to treat you like this and you deserve better" - how very sad. I appreciate your reply. I'm grateful that you care so much about us. Happy Fourth!
I have a lot of bitterness and anger toward an abusive person in my life. He doesn’t seem to get that by telling me things-during an argument, such as “Sometimes I think you are too stupid to live”... is far beyond the pale and in no way acceptable to anyone. He has done it two other times... so I am supposed to just take it? I guess I have taken it or I would have left long ago... gotta pick yourself up... keep moving forward and not let them ruin your life... you get to a point where you say enough isenough... and the person you once loved becomes something else you may no longer want.
Hi Dr Les I came in late I agree with SOME intimacy but when they begin to act like the narc Parent crossing over boundaries. You got to walk away and sometimes transgend a virtual negative response to the behavior you do not want to contract again. Thanks for your support
Okay ... I've already proposed to you to no avail ☺ ... I truly desire someone in my life with your heart and insight ... I'm a Empath and HSP and have been married to a Narcissists for 28 years. You're so kind ... thank you for being an example of what a whole person looks and sounds like
Anger is part of the healing process and the acceptance of this unfair treatment that happened also needs to take place for you to move forward freely without that negativity holding you back
Keep your expectations in line with reality... This is a broken world filled with broken people. Thank you again Dr. Carter.
I'm 3 weeks free, the hoovering is in full force and I need strength to stay true to my resolve. He can't be anything other than what he is. It's my expectations that are out of whack.
Stay with it Stella. I know you've been working hard at this! Dr. C
It is interesting to know how mistreatment can make us bitter. I had seen this bitterness in women who were disappointed to have broken up. I find it difficult to have tolerance with people that treats us badly when we feel threatened by them so bitterness is all you get if you do not stand up for your rights.
I agree 100%. I believe bitterness is an underlying problem with Narcissists. They became so embittered and wouldn't forgive or let go and as a result, became hardened and their conscience shut down. Bitterness involves playing the blame game instead of working on self. It prevents us from moving out of victimhood. Anger is a necessary stage, but we have to be careful not to remain there indefinitely. Good video!
An important thing I’ve learned here is not to rely on others for my view of me or to believe they’ll provide my happiness.
Another reason I come here is for the wisdom and truth of how I can become a better me 🙏🏻
Yes! Dr. C
I really struggled with anger and hatred towards my narcissistic mother way back in my childhood until adulthood and especially now when i knew about narcissism and codependency after 37 years. I didn't know how to deal with it. All i know before was that, i was not allowed to be angry and to express it. I remember too well as a child that since i was taught that way by my narc mom never to reason out and to feel angry with her psychological, verbal, emotional and physical abuse, i cried so hard in front of her in the attempt to explain myself and to let her know how i feel but cannot, as a child then i would cry, i think its my way or my body's response towards the injustice done to me but even that i was not allowed. As a child, I was not allowed to reason out, to explain my side, my thoughts, my point of views, or simply to talk to her about the truth that i didn't do anything bad. I was not allowed even to cry because for her my cries were a sign of being rebellious. I would try so hard then to stop myself from crying everytime abuse is being served. Anger, bitterness, and hatred is something that i don't want to store up within me but it is definitely something that i truly struggled with. Thank you Dr. C for this video because i find comfort, enlightenment and good guidance on how to deal with in a healthy way.♥️
9:09 Respectfully, we can not expect anything from anyone. This is the gateway to disappointment and the inevitable search for approval. I can only expect what I can do for myself. Your message is loud and clear.
Thank You So Very Much For Sharing
After Years Of Horrible Abuse From
The Narcissists.After Chasing This Person’s
Acceptance. After Doing This Never Being Accepted.
Constant Humiliation.Then After Being Discarded
I Had Anger Issues It Took A While To Finally Let Go Of
The Anger, Issues.I Forgave MySelf.The Best Peace In The
World With A Toxic Person Is Letting Go
No Contact.Ever.
Yes, and I wish you good will as you move forward. Glad you're in our community. Dr. C
Dr. Les Carter Thank You
So Very Much Your Videos
Have Helped Me Out So Much
There's a special jewel in your crown for sure! I am so thankful that God led me your way. These videos are such a lifesaver! I appreciate your life, your ministry, and we can't forget about Gus. Thank you once again! God bless you bunches.
I heard this with my gut more than my brain. Thank you.
You must be really ready to hear it!
My gut always feels everything
It's like the scroll the prophets had to eat and got sour in the stomach spiritual yes. Praise Yeshua Jesus
Science has shown that the gut operates as a second brain. Also, agreed.. all glory belongs to Christ, the Narcissism Eliminator.
Thank you. This has been a struggle for me and is getting harder for me to deal with as I age. Bitterness can be exhausting. "Not all human beings can be deemed as reliable" is definitely a quote that resonates with me.
Good points! Another I would like to add, is that feeling this bitterness toward others who have harmed/hurt you and allowing it to reside in your body, can bring illness on yourself (as I found out recently)....BE SURE TO PRACTICE SELF CARE.... these people are who they are and we can't fix or change them, and it is not "our responsibility" to do so. Rise above their broken behavior by taking your power back: learn to say "no", have a "plan of action" if you are forced to be in their company so that you have an "exit strategy", or, make plans "not" to be in their field of crazy energy at all! I feel your pain out there, as I have struggled mightily with this myself....now working on healing my resulting illness! My advice: be smarter than I was!!!
Vicki Roadman - I have developed an illness as well. Bitterness kills!
@@vals74 I just finished watching Dr. Joe Dispenza's video on youtube titled: How to Control Your Mind. Well worth watching as it explains how/why our body took on the illness and how to change the whole scenario! Loved it! Good luck to you!
Choosing to be a better person not a lesser person...priceless!! Thank you so much for your work ❤
curlytop kitty.... lesser person is anyone being diminished by a narc brought about ONLY by being in any contact what so ever.
Ppl got no soul anymore, been stolen by narcs. uggh. fence sitting observers of destruction dont help either. oh well...
@@patriciaclark1492 Yes and this is what is so dangerous. Thank God for people like Dr C and our community of like-minded people!
I wish I could remember who to attribute this paraphrase to -- forgiveness doesn't make the offender right, forgiveness makes me free. Thank you Dr. Carter for making me think healthier. I really appreciate you giving your time and expertise to us, a bunch of wounded people who want to heal.
Turn your sense of approval inward. Work on building yourself an amazing island with all the things you need on it, and build your own bridges to other places as you deem fit, and tear down the ones that dont serve your own business. After that, you are you and they are they - only what you do, how you act, and what you want are important. Go and be that person - others aren't related to you, especially those negative people.
Great thoughts, Steve. Dr. C
What a blessing to hear this message on a Saturday night and missing being part of a couple. I had to walk away 60 plus days ago and I’m still grieving. I just close my eyes at night and drift to sleep and welcome the next day. I don’t allow myself to cling to every emotion. I let the emotion wash over me.... I have been holding on to the anger of allowing myself to be disrespected and was angry for self preservation and now I’m calm and at peace. Less angry but slightly bitter. I don’t want to be that way.....
Glad to know you are embracing your humanity, and I'm hoping you will find good reasons to keep moving forward. Good luck. Dr. C
This was exactly the message I needed today. I’ve been thinking about what kind of person I am and want to continue to be. It hurts to be hurt but I am very aware of myself and I overcome by ascending higher when I’ve been hurt. It always makes me want to understand the situation instead of wallow in pitty, pettiness, or victimization. I realize that my greatest assets and what sets me apart from others is that I never try to exact revenge or get even with people. Instead I choose to humble myself and show compassion no matter how bad it bothers me. Every since I was a child growing up with a very domineering mother who was full of bitterness. I use to say to myself even then that, her pain that she feels deep inside is far worse than what I’m feeling. The misery she knows and is aquatinted with I do not know. I strive everyday to get better, stronger, wiser, and in more control of my actions and attitude. All while showing gratitude because even with all I’ve been through, there is still such a peace, happiness, and joy that I feel inside my soul. I feel sorry for those who do not possess that or who are unable to access their own peace. Thank you Dr. C.!!!
Thank you so much Dr Les for showing us all this good advice
I am a person of self responsibility. Sometimes we have to ask ourselves... what red flags did I miss or ignore? What can I do to change that in the future? I am not saying that we are responsible for our abuse. But seeking full truth empowers us and makes us see that we are in control of what we do and how we react.
Red flags aren't for decorations, boy have I learned that.
I read this book by Patricia Evans... The Verbally Abusive Relationship. Good read. It tells you why you dont see or recognize red flags. It was very enlightening for me to say the least.
Love it. The qualities that narcissists are attracted to and repulsed by are the qualities of being a less broken, more healthy person.
This lesson was exactly what I needed to hear and let it sink in. I have been an optimistic and joyful humorous person all my life I am in an angry bitter I don’t care anymore indifferent kind of place I am trying to pull myself out of. Your message was really helpful to me today with good sound advice, instruction and loving professional advice. As always you are awesome! Thank you for the time you put into making your videos.
Going completely no contact with the abuser(s) and praying for their healing is your best defense. By going no contact, you will finally be able to heal and get your happy self back. God is our healer and redeemer & without him this would not be possible for us! We are 2 months narc free and the healing is amazing - we are returning to our old joyful selves more and more as each day passes. God bless you and good luck! :)
In the past when these things were happening to me on a regular basis I was mostly hurt wondering what was wrong with me. I truly felt bad that the mean person couldn't interact with me in reasonable ways. It took years for me to understand that I was not the problem in the relationships in the family. Then I began to pray that God would show me what I was doing to deserve these things. God showed me that it wasn't about me at all, I began to feel sorry for those who cannot feel special without demeaning another person. I tried to talk to them and was met with rage so I gave up and moved on. For a long time I felt bad that there just could not be a reasonable relationship with them, but no longer feel responsible for it. I don't want bad to happen to the mean people I just wish they would confess. If they would ever confess I know I would be excited and could resume the relationship, however I don't expect that to happen. The fact that I would easily receive them back into my life tells me I am not bitter nor ever have been. Bitterness is hatred and I know I don't hate them, I just have given up that anything I do can change things. I have no confidence that them returning without confession could not be trusted to mean they have changed. When we do not confess we have done something wrong then its not likely that there will be a change in the way we behave. I am convinced confession of wrong doing is the first step in changed behavior. Those who don't think they did anything wrong will not be motivated to change. Just some lessons I have learned from my personal experiences.
How can you have this attitude on daily basis while living with a Narcissist? Would love to know your tricks or hacks? Please do reply. I'm also a Christian, newly married and having extremely difficult time living with Narcissist clan.
I agree with you entirely. NEX apologises repeatedly but never names what he's apologising for. Simply says "I made some mistakes; I'm not perfect". Feels like blame shifting to me as he and his minions repeatedly tell me the indisputable facts are my wrong perspective. Talk about overstepping the mark. Covert Narcs thrive in secrecy
Thank you so very much for this breath of fresh air information. This is just what narcissistic abuse victims need to hear - it is fantastic nourishment for our souls, sanity and healing! Holding onto bitterness, loathing, hate, resentment, anger etc... will do absolutely nothing good for any of us - it can end up destroying us though, if we're not careful! My husband and I pray unceasingly for the narcissists in our lives. We surrender them and their disorders to God. We love them (not their evil disorder - Jude 1:22-23 "And have mercy on those who doubt; save others by snatching them out of the fire; to others show mercy with fear, hating even the garment stained by the flesh." These verses tell us to extend mercy and compassion for people, and hate for the sin.) and we pray for their healing daily. Their healing is not only a positive thing for them, but for everyone in their lives as well, and is crucial for everyone's well being! :)
Sometimes we just need a little validation. Thank you Dr. Carter for validating us and for continuing to educate us on how to heal. After a setback with my narcissistic mother, I'm starting over after 6 months no contact and I needed this today. I know after the horrible treatment last night, I need no contact and it's breaking my heart. I'm having such a hard time. Thank you. 💕
Shelly, I know you've been struggling, but I genuinely respect your willing spirit. Hang in there. Dr. C
Thanks so much@@DrLesCarter
This pulled my heart strings. Absolute priceless content! Thank you, Dr. C!
I nearly cried listening to this. Was exactly what I needed to hear as well. 💛
Me, too.
@@yellowdayz1800 Right back atcha!
@@nacarreira777 , thanks !
Me too! Dr. Carter understands!
When someone speaks your truth with understanding and compassion and enough love to encourage you to turn it to good for you and those you love. He’s got skills ❤️🤗
Thank you again Dr. C. You're very wise. 😊
Thank you Dr. Carter for this wonderful advice and for validating these feelings. Thank you for helping us to steer thru such emotions, because who among us has not said, I do not like who I am when I'm around that person.
I haven't seen him or talked to him in 2 and half weeks. I answered a # that I didn't know by accident. I normally don't do that. It was him. Anger in his voice came out of him was why don't you answer my calls & all I could say was why do think. Angerly he said I just wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas & I said same to you & we hung up. Now I'm back to stomach turning with anxiety! Hope he leaves me alone!
You're a very wise man. Wisdom from God is the only thing that soothes my wounds. Lifelong abuse warps the soul. Sin can find an can find an inroad to ruin.
@ Dr. C and community… Thank you. Choice is a personal growth opportunity. 🤔❤️🌎🇺🇸✊
One must have some level of introspection. When you're hurt, you must heal, and learn how to avoid being hurt again. Time is an ally. Anger, at the end will fade and turn you a into the best person you should be, if managed properly with professional help. Dr C, I give you a 10 ! Thanks again for bringing light on such complex creatures as humans!
I'm hoping the 10 score is not on a scale of 100! Dr. C
Dr. Les Carter..... Oups! Definitely 10 / 10 of course! 🤗
Thank you so much Dr. Carter. I love it when you said embrace your anger and just recognize that it's a choice I did that and I just realized that it's only taking me to the wrong direction after a certain time. However I knew this is what I needed to do at that time and it served me well because it kept the toxic and evil people away. My anger was just a statement to say "don't mess with me". Even though I'm still struggling, I smile everyday from Joy. I learned to embrace anger when it's appropriate I lived in a house where anger is not acceptable at all only for the abuser. I have to say it made me stronger to know that I have a choice to be angry so I'm using it wisely.
I'm going through a tough time and this was so helpful. Your warm voice and encouragement is giving me hope and strength. Thank you for these gifts.
You're quite welcome. Dr. C
When your on the bitter down, it is always better to go up. Remember that ‘you’ make those depression chemicals in your brain and ‘you’ control
the mixture. No habitual Bitterness; the burden is too great on your body and will make you physically sick.
So glad I looked for a new Dr. Carter video tonight. Bitterness is just the thing I've been worried about taking up residence in me lately. I resist, but it comes back! I can see that depending on other people to live up to what they promise is sometimes creating big problems for me. Need to watch this one a few more times!
Thank you. Much food for thought, despite...
Telling me it’s ok to be bitter was a relief. That in itself makes the sour taste dissipate. Thank you. 🤔
Agreed I started giggling when he 1st mentioned it. Instantly understanding what he was getting at👊
Thank you Dr Carter! Narcissism is everywhere and while the world has an abundance of it there is always hope for a brighter future. We don’t have to be consumed by our own narcissistic behaviors or consume others. Watching many of your videos is teaching me to be self aware of not just others, but me as well. Not one of us is perfect or without faults. We all have a choice to be emotionally healthy. Life is a journey to be shared, and a great gift. Thank you again for sharing these helpful videos.
Thank you for teaching me how to be a better person and enjoy life with its ups and downs.
This is really helpful. Thank you so much! Please more of this kind of content 👌🏼
Good advice as always! Remember how awful feeling bitter is, can't compare to feeling loving!
Still Working On This One...
I spend a lot of time "looking backwards". But, I'm learning how to look more forward... I have begun stopping myself from negative talk. But with righteous intent. I don't think it's wrong to feel alittle upset with what others have "pulled"... It sucks. What they did sucks. And I have taken my responsibility and grown from giving over to these sorts of things. And allowed them in... I have grown. And I'm alittle upset with things that have happened... Here in lies the beginning... To Let Go. And move forward... That's the tough one..
For a long time I lived in a world where talking poorly. Holding onto these things Was The World.. It's where I grew up...
More recently I been focused on building This World for myself. And going from there... I believe it's working...
- Driving ride share I interact with a lot of people.. and I am noticing the changes in me. With what Others are saying... They see value in me and it really touches me. It's nice to hear things from these people. As opposed to the ones I Wanted to give love. But will always hold that space between them and others to get close... It's just there. With everyone they interact with. I have learned.. And to see the work I've put in. Just to Get To This Point. It would take an enormous endeavor for these Ones I think of, to work on themselves... But the focus lays on me. It's nice to hear good things from some good people I meet... It shows me, in a way, what to look for in others. And what I can be around. As opposed to what I have settled for. . .
Unlearning these old ways is a process. But, another thing I've learned is to take my time growing... Like consistently. As opposed to getting in, one day, knock out my responsibilities or quests I wish to create. And go back into a sort of safe holding pattern.. To take my time looking for new work. And moving. Yes moving forward. But not one hard day of work. And if it doesn't work. Start from zero again... I'm learning. And it feels good...
I still wish to move. And have other plans. . . Right now I wish to travel back to Los Angeles, this time as a plan. Rather than a wake up n go. I am saving for it this time. And wish to learn further from this trip...
I honestly have never felt better. Still ebb n flow. But much more free. Going back and addressing things from 20 years ago. 14. Puberty. And I enjoy this work I'm doing... Self worth and the types of rejection I've felt. It's all exploratory. But the progress makes me happy. That progress is being made....
This women I drove today. Gave me a hug, at the airport when I dropped her off. . . What she told me was so inspiring. And all she did was talk with me. . . Ask about who I'm dating. I'm single. But simple things like that. Mediation techniques. Sharing those. Diet. Etc. . . And just the small guidance and care she showed. Towards what a good life could be. Not just finding a mate. But finding and challenging myself. . . It's interactions like this. That show what's missing. But also what I should be going for. . .
Thanks again for the guidance shown here. Every little bit downloads. And either helps. Or gives me like minded thinking. Which I really like...
Thanks. Not Giving Up. ! . The journey continues. . .
Inspiring words. Thanks for sharing your story. So pleased you are part of our community. Dr. C
I am understanding so well the dinámics of disfunfionality. I really deserve to be worthy of myself and love myself. I was so blind and awakening now to dynamics of my family. Was amazing Dr. Thank you so much. I feel at peace when I listen to your videos.!!
Wonderful. Thanks! Dr. C
Again Perfect timing I received this knowledge.
Blessed healing!
my faith. my faith in God and Jesus Christ. that's what has helped me the most.
I’m a better person just because you’re in this world. These videos are life changing. Thank you for being you. ❤️
Wow! Thanks so much, Jenna. So glad we're on the same team. Dr. C
I wish this video existed in Spanish. It’s exactly what I’d love my mother to listen to. I’m your new biggest fan. Thanks for your kindness. As a nurse educator you inspire me to treat my patients w your over pouring wisdom.
Thank you for explaining it, Dr. Carter!! 👍👍The side effects of a narc abuse may not be a bitter or sour heart. On the other hand, it's a blessing in disguise for myself as I discovered my inner being truly living through Him, my Lord and Savior!!😃 Despite all the legitimate causes, I chose to deal with them with my legitimate self in Him. Praise God for His goodness!! Have a nice day and God bless, Dr. Carter!!🙏🤞
How can you have this attitude on daily basis while living with a Narcissist? Would love to know your tricks or hacks? Please do reply. I'm also a Christian, newly married and having extremely difficult time living with Narcissist clan.
@@mrskhan597 Hi there, when I was inside dealing with the narc, I used to live in confusion and daily draining energy, practically I just did my duty as a mom and wife in office functions. I also went through physical abuse during 15 years inside. In 2007, I reported him to the police and checked out and went no contact up to now, while raising the kids alongside. After freeing myself from abusive narc husband and narc circle, I began to find my true self in Him. Met some true friends in teaching. If you have to be around them, my advice would be better for you to find a hobby, passion, or part time work to minimize the contact. All the best to you in your journey!!🙏🤞
Really great advice. Thanks! God bless you :)
@@mrskhan597 God bless you, too on your journey🙏🤞
Execellent, practical wisdom.
Things to consider here for sure . I have been a bitter person for a long time . No therapy or drug has alleviated it . Retribution would be sweet but I don't want to live out my years realizing that it has never come . The bar has been set pretty low by most people I know so it should be easy to rise above one would think . thanks for your counsel on this matter
Yes Dr. Carter you are so right on this...But one thing I have learned threw being married to a NARCISSIST you have a LOT of BITTERNESS!! It takes a while to work threw it and each day gets better...
I can't like this video enough. You have such an insightful and nuanced understanding of all this that comes through so clearly in your videos. Thanks for all you do.
Good video. I understand why I feel the way I do, and I just got to look within more and not get so wound up in my own pain and bitterness. Less ego and more amigo.
Sherri M - 😊☺️😉
Amigo! 👍
Bitterness is an easy but uncomely trap to fall into. One author who really helped me to let go has been Thich Nhat Hahn. I would highly reccomend his books and online resources. A Vietnamese monk exiled from his own country, he began writing about buddhism for Westerners, unfamiliar as we are with its precepts. In particular, his writings and talks about compassion & compassionate listening are fantastic.
For the many Christians in this group, please note that buddhism is a philosophy about how to live rather than a religion. There are no deities in buddhism, and you will find many commonalities with teachings attributed to Jesus.
I am not religious but I have read many of Thich Nhat Hahn's books, among other buddhist publications and have found them very helpful in letting go of negative emotions.
Excellent... I really felt that...it was in a way heartbreaking knowing that you’re own husband can’t be trusted but in my heart I know it’s on him not me ...I know some very broken people and I learn from their actions...I know what I don’t want to be
Dr C, Thanks so much for that! We can change ouselves, it's empowering and relevant. I love the way you put that message. It's a delicate topic we need to hear. Thanks for it, I'll be listening to it at least twice more. Possibly more. Thanks for sharing your knowledge and truth with us the way you do. I wish I had heard these messages you do years ago. Life changing Dr Carter!
Anger usually happens (sometimes at the speed of light) when a person has been hurt or disappointed....I always try to remember 2 things...True Justice and Real Revenge belong to God...not us. Let it go and let God. A saying in the orient is sit and rest on the bank of the river and enjoy the day. Sooner or later, the bodies of your enemies will float by. Amazingly enough, letting it go is liberating. Another old saying is "don't hold a grudge. They shed terribly."
Dr You're so kind. Thank you for all the help that you give so freely. These videos are so insightful and helpful. God sent you into my life at a critical time. I appreciate you
Words of pure GOLD! How do you know this is exactly what I needed this morning!! It's been a couple of weeks now but I still feel the sting of being blocked from an online class I was taking. I had friends from the class that have also blocked me because the teacher accused me of stealing her stuff. Nothing could be further from the truth but I can't defend myself against her video she posted accusing me,,, in fact, I can't even watch it!!! I am so grateful for you Dr. Wes, your guidance again, came at a time when it was most needed. You are truly a blessing in my life and I just wanted to say THANK YOU!!!
Time for you take it to the dept head of that school. That's not right for you to go through that.
@@sherrim4067 others went through much worse. The teacher posted a rant on UA-cam about copying her and what she was teaching so I got off easy. People are free to do whatever when they create their class online. I am happy to let it go and move on to better trained instructors. Thanks!
Yes Dr. Carter life is healthy pride and unhealthy pride who did not get this MEMO we have a choice thanks Dr. Carter knowledge is power.
Agree totally this one of the wost things to happen to a person is when someone or people turn you to a bitter person and your not reallt bitter you've just been narrated as such be this can be very overwhelming
Priceless words of wisdom; THANK YOU Dr C.
Perfect timing! Here visiting family, including one narc. daughter. I remembered to use those helpful phrases you taught but last night, felt true anger and bitterness.
I've learnt from this, Thank you!
Oh, another timely video. I feel better already!
You are a treasure Doc thanks Doc
Of course
Sure
Willing for sure
Always seeking for a better version of myself and others.
Be angry, but sin not ...Ephesians 4:26
Anger can also signal need for change.
Thank you for the advice 🙏
Thank you ❤️
For giving voice to our feelings
Hi Dr. C! Great to see and listen to you with this video. My God, I can relate. I'm working though (and working to extract myself) from a whole lot of issues-esp with my family. I am the youngest out of 6-a lot of love (at times), but a whole lot of toxic BS, too. Choices, as you say....that absolutely jumped out at me. Choices. Amen to that. Not easy, but making movement.....thanks Dr. C! :) JV Johnny
Thank you.
About an hour ago, I did a search online for "rooting out bitterness" and I found an article about praying about it and that was helpful and thought-provoking, then I had to go and do some other things, thinking I would definitely get back to that article. Then just now, I was taking a break and checking out my UA-cam notifications and saw to my surprise there was one video on this channel that I hadn't watched yet. I was absolutely stunned to see the title of this video as the one I had yet to watch, then the beginning title as the vid began to play mentioning bitterness. This is the kind of synchronicity that can only be a God thing, as I feel the prayer article prepared me for this video that I had somehow missed until now. Just wanted to let you know, Dr. C, that you're being used as a channel of healing to broken hearts in this broken world. I'll be watching this video again and again along with using the prayerful advice in the article I read earlier today. Thank you and bless you.
So pleased, and God has blessed me...through you! Dr. C
@@DrLesCarter :) ♥ † ♥
Thank you for this great information. Very appropriate for this past week.
An unrelated question: how to find passion again after it's gone? Passion for something that you love(d). The thing that's part of your soul and your soul pines for it, yet the passion to pursue it is gone.
Renee Conley - Great question!
My narc stole what brought me joy. Eleven years I spent belonging to a group which he had only just joined but refused to stay away from or to share and has now thus tainted. People in the group who I thought were friends continue to cheer him on even after I told them how he had emotionally abused me. I have had to walk away from the thing that brought me passion because they would not believe how he had mistreated me. It broke my heart but I have had to give up and accept that he could steal my life from me, that my ‘friends’ would support him while he did so and there was nothing I could do about it. Better a lack of passion than a mental battering!
I have always enjoyed your teaching style. I appreciate the thoroughness of your compositions. Great video!!
I so needed this,thank you!
Respect as always ......from Scotland
Thanks Jackie. Dr. C
Tha k you for another profound and brilliant post. 🙏
Hello all!
Why do people think retribution is an automatic follow-up to having been treated badly? I want a positive outcome for everyone. If they think they have the upper-hand and are correct, so be it. BUT what I do want is the compensation and justice deserved. I do not want to hang on to anger, but until there is resolve, it is hanging on to me. I am calm, I am a peaceful and loving person, BUT the narc is devastating my life and others. If I lose, so be it, but I feel I must at least try to get closure and vindication. Yes, I realize the possibility of things coming out even worse, but I feel I must at least try to be heard.
Sorry, you will not be heard. I know. Walk away. Peace will be there for you both-apart.
Cathy Owens : So true, you will not be heard.
Very validating. Thank you
So true. I don't need to apply for a position as an understudy to Houdini in order to never be reminded of my past again in fear or go see a Hypnotherapist to leave my fears behind.
Good advice , thank you.
Thank you Dr. Carter 🤗
Thank you for the advices! I will consider them!
Love this❤
Wise and priceless advice. Thank you.
This is a hard thing - thanks so much. I have your book but have yet to get to reading it.
You're working on it, Ocean. I respect that. Dr. C
Ocean looks a bit like Gus:) 🐶
I am so grateful for your videos. They are a comfort to my pain, and a reminder of the better things possible.
CARTER, YOU ARE SO COOL!!!!!! Great advice!!!!!!! :+)
Gullty without the ability to defend yourself.
Thank you Mr. wonderful for your wealth of knowledge💕
You bet, Marcy!! Dr. C
Greetings, Dr.C.! Annette here again. I'm still watching your videos regarding Narcissism but am also thoroughly enjoying your Dignity/Respect/Civility series. Your videos help me more than I could ever hope to convey with words. I have been maligned and mistreated emotionally and it has been very unfair and very hurtful. The person responsible for injuring me refuses to hear "my side" - I believe this is because the person knows that the argument against me is extremely weak and by not allowing me to defend myself, there will not be a requirement of this person admitting wrongdoing. I have been asking for a meeting for a long time to discuss this ridiculous attack on my character, all to no avail. In my opinion, if this person truly believed I am the one "in the wrong" and the person, the one "in the right", this person would surely welcome an open discussion. I battle between trying to defend myself and telling myself that it's not worth my time and energy. I really needed this video today! Thank you very much for all of the help you have given me. You are very kind. You are brilliant! So knowledgeable! What a joy! 😊 You're the best! I appreciate you. Please pray for me that I can get this issue resolved one way or another.
Hey, Annette, that person may not hear you, but I want You to hear you. Dr. C
@@DrLesCarter Thank you for that, Dr. C. - I needed that! This person knows I deserve better but isn't strong enough to say, "I am wrong to treat you like this and you deserve better" - how very sad. I appreciate your reply. I'm grateful that you care so much about us. Happy Fourth!
I have a lot of bitterness and anger toward an abusive person in my life. He doesn’t seem to get that by telling me things-during an argument, such as “Sometimes I think you are too stupid to live”... is far beyond the pale and in no way acceptable to anyone. He has done it two other times... so I am supposed to just take it? I guess I have taken it or I would have left long ago... gotta pick yourself up... keep moving forward and not let them ruin your life... you get to a point where you say enough isenough... and the person you once loved becomes something else you may no longer want.
Thank you for this. I am do angry and bitter right now. I don't understand this world anymore but I will try to be that better person
Thanks 🙏 so much Dr. G! It is well worth any effort it takes to choose to to be a better person! 💗
Hi Dr Les I came in late I agree with SOME intimacy but when they begin to act like the narc Parent crossing over boundaries. You got to walk away and sometimes transgend a virtual negative response to the behavior you do not want to contract again. Thanks for your support
Thanks Dr Carter
Okay ... I've already proposed to you to no avail ☺ ... I truly desire someone in my life with your heart and insight ... I'm a Empath and HSP and have been married to a Narcissists for 28 years. You're so kind ... thank you for being an example of what a whole person looks and sounds like
You're so kind. I truly hope you can find someone who appreciates what you bring to the equation! Dr. C
Thank you ... Me too . Have a blessed day 😇
Could you please give me the link to go to in order to get the free materials that you spoke of on Facebook live ? Ebooks ?