VERSE 1 I know its unexpected Just give me a second I need to sorry for the things I did to you When you were younger To you and your mother If only I’d have know back then the damage it would do PRE I’ve watched you fight with addiction and struggle with commitment Couldn’t help but think of you as a thorn in my side Withdrew my affection to teach you a lesson oh, what a waste of our time CHORUS But there’s no knock on my door There’s no please can we talk No sorry for all of the pain that I caused We’re not sat in my kitchen with quiet forgiveness I thought you would find your way here but you didn’t I’ll write myself the apology I’ll never receive VERSE 2 Too young at eleven to learn of deception Standing on the doorstep you were screaming out my name The day I got married I know you were angry But that’s a conversation I’m not brave enough to face So I kept you at a distance Watched you try to fix it See the pain written on your face it reminds me of her Its hard remember all our years together And I hate that it hurts CHORUS But there’s no knock on my door There’s no please can we talk No sorry for all of the pain that I caused We’re not sat in my kitchen with quiet forgiveness I thought you would find your way here but you didn’t I’ll write myself the apology I’ll never receive OUTRO I can’t keep on waiting For you to say sorry All of the anger it’s poisoned body If you you ever listen to this song I’ve written I want you to know you’re already forgiven
Holy cow!!! This almost describes how I found out about my biological father at 11 years old. And he never actually accepted me as his daughter in anyway; even to his death in Aug. 2020. I met him once at 18 yrs old. 😢
Sat here listening to this on repeat, bawling my eyes out for both parents I'll never hear apologies from. Great advice to write that apology myself. I'm still working through the pain, not quite ready for the forgiveness, but this song helps. Found you from your ADHD content, found your music and was amazed.
as a daughter who has a narcissistic father this song hits hard and hits home because I will never get the apology from him!!! thank you for writing this song !!!!!
I feel this. My mother is a narcissist. Has been my whole life. She's said sorry but I can tell it's crocodile tears. I'm 21tomorrow and she's still the same. One day I'll leave tho. And even tho it will break my inner child I have to do it. I'm gonna do it for myself.
@@elizabethhinklehinkle5393that's the thing its hard trust me. I'm 32 years old and I had to walk away from my dad when i was 29 years old. It broke my inner child but it's made me see that my dad isn't the father or could be the father I wanted from him. I hope you are okay and happy 21st birthday :) :)
My mom is the narcissist. I need to write myself the apology I won't receive. Tired of feeling worthless because the person who supposed to love me deemed it so.
Absolutely beautiful!! Thank you for writing and releasing this to help so many of us who are trying to heal from the toxic places we came from. Completely crying listening to this, Thank-you 💖
I held it together pretty well up until the 1:50 mark...I literally felt that vocal pitch change in my fucking soul and could not stop crying afterwards. Beautiful lyrics, beautiful song, and a beautiful artist
i couldn't possibly explain how much this song means to me. but as someone who's had to make my peace with the fact that i'll never get that apology from either of my abusive parents, i feel this song right down into my soul. thank you. not just for writing this, but being brave enough to share your pain in your music. i know that's probably not easy, but you're helping more people than you could ever know
This stopped me dead last night. We may not need the same apology, but we certainly need a very similar one. Family tree finally helped me open up to the truth, and this new beautifully captivating song has opened the truth a little deeper. Your honesty has finally helped me start writing the book I've buried deep inside my pain for years. Roxanne, I'm so sorry you feel pain so profound that it touches such deep pain within others. You are incredibly brave. And beautiful and I thank you so so much.❤x
Omg your family at the end 😢😢💔 So glad you finally found happiness with them. One of my absolute favourites because the saddest ones always are. Beautiful song and this video is perfect with Rich and your step daughter running in ❤❤ xxx
Cannot thank you enough for this. Started today crying because my dad doesn't text me back when I check on him or ever call to see how I'm doing. Growing up with two alcoholic and violently abusive parents was difficult. But what's most unbearable is being an adult now and still trying harder then they ever did to bring peace to our family. I see you and love it 🥰 you deserve an apology 💚 🤗
And so do you I understand the alcoholic abuse my mother did to me made me always try to be more for everyone and I never had a chance to talk about it to my mom she passed away on Thanksgiving alone and I was never going to be able to get a apology but you don't let your efforts make you feel less than your brighter and bolder and more precious then anyone who doesn't see your love
Those of us who have been neglected and abuse at the hands of the ones we loved and were supposed to be protected by try so fucking hard in our adult lives to give everyone we meet the love and support we never had no matter how much it hurts us in the end. We just don't want anyone to feel what we have or do feel. It hurts us at our core to see someone hurting so we are there for everyone like we hoped and prayed someone would be for us.......
I am so incredibly sorry to read this, and it resonates deeply. The scares run so incredibly deep don't they... It isn't your responsibility to heal a parent, or keep peace in your family. That belongs to the parents. You never to deserved to be put in that role. I hope you find your own peace, with your own chosen family, and begin to understand how loveable you you are, and that you don't have to "work" to be loved. xx
honestly, sometimes you've got to learn when to just let go. and i say that as someone who spent the better part of my adulthood chasing after scraps of affection from my parents and having to mourn the fact that i'd never have the mom or dad that other people had. but if you just keep pouring more and more of yourself into a relationship that's totally one sided, at a certain point, you have to ask yourself hard questions, like is it worth it. and if it's not, if you're getting nothing back except pain, then it might be time to let go. i know how hard it is, but i also know that i feel freer and lighter than ever, now that i've made my peace with being an emotional orphan. because now i know it's not my fault. i tried. i did everything i could. i tried so hard to make them hear me. but i finally realized that my parents' failure to listen was tHEIR failure, not mine. i didn't deserve to be ignored, cast aside, or treated like i didn't matter. its what happened, but none of it was on ME. and realizing that helped me so much. it also helped me see that i deserved better. that i deserved to be getting what i was giving, because i'm WORTH the love and attention. and if they can't see that, then they're the ones missing out, not me
Girl (not to assume gender), you gotta give that shit up. You're wasting love, effort, and attention on people who do not deserve it in the least. That's like pouring liquid gold down into a dried up old well that hasn't worked in years. Save all that for people who will love you as much as you love them. Life is too short to waste that on abusive alkie low-lives.
when you become a parent, its like reliving all of that trauma again. but this time its different. its even more heartbreaking. thank you for this beautiful song. its already changed my world. thank you.
Not me crying because I feel it so much. I will wait for my father to apologise in all eternity but I hope that I will be deep enough into recovery one day that I will be able to forgive him for everything he has done. Thank you so much for this song ❤️
this song made me cry . WOW . I felt every single note of this. I don't know you but I feel proud of you. My dad was not an easy man, he caused pain and he passed a few years ago . I have been working on forgiving him and I think I am almost there, though the apology and all I needed from him I will not get . Your song has inspired me to write a poem giving myself the apology I won't receive. 🥰💚❤
I relate to this so much with my situation with my mother. I just went no contact with her almost 8 months ago and it still hurts so much. I know she’ll never apologize for all the pain she put me through and she’s painted me as the villain to everyone around her. This song is helping me heal 🖤
I’m in tears. I grew up in a very abusive home and my abuser to this day refuses to admit she even did anything wrong… keeping this trauma to myself is KILLING me. This song helped me release this pain. I love your music. Can’t wait till you’re a huge success and I can say I was here when you only had 20k subs 😂🎉🖤 you’re helping people with your music what an incredible accomplishment 🖤🥹
Thank you for sharing your pain, your heart and creating this beautiful song and hits so incredibly deep. I know I'm not the only one, but I NEEDED this song at this time in my life. My abusive father is dying. He was still so horrible during my last visit. The last several months I've been coming to terms with the fact that I'll never get an apology from him. I have to focus on healing myself regarding of what he does. Thank you ❤ And I'm so sorry, you deserve so much better.
Robin hold on 🩵 new year is almost here. You didn’t deserve what happened to you and I am so so sorry. But there is hope of healing - sending love. I hope you have support 🙏🏼
Rory, I will say it over and over, your voice, singing and your songs are on another level that every artist should look up to. You are simply amazing, you have a fan for life.
Real tears, real wounds and a real heartfelt hug at the end. You get this all the time, but your music truly is something special that resonates deeply.
I have never had a song I connect with on such a deep level. Thank you for for putting such deep emotions within your song and connecting with us in way I never thought possible ❤
I’ve watched your videos on adhd with your husband for years. Enjoyed the cute little skits. And always I see how loved you are in your hurt. I see a woman healing from everyone that hurt her through education of those who love her. I found out you have a musical career like 15 minutes ago, bought all the songs I could based on one snippet from Instagram. I’m not disappointed as this is the first song of yours I hear all the way through. I will never receive an apology from my dad for all the trauma he has caused me and continues to cause me. Neither will my sister for her second hand and now first hand trauma. It’s so nice to feel that I’m not alone. I’ve been trying to follow your path of healing through education of my loved ones, but it’s not always easy and they don’t always listen or follow through. I need to write all the apologies I will never be given. For her. For that little girl inside me that just wants to feel loved and worthwhile. Thank you. So much. For everything you do. For sharing who you are with the world. In the least creepy way I can say it, we love you, Rory. And I hope to keep watching you grow and heal, leading the way for us to follow.
Have only just had the courage to listen to this song in full. I spent years in therapy not understanding why i just couldn't bring myself to let go of the anger and let it damage me so much. I needed that anger to get myself free. I needed it to get me where i needed to be. And now ive freed myself, and proved to myself that i can live out his worst fears... that i can survive without him; i can finally work on forgiveness. The space the anger and fear and loneliness lived is now full of love for my little one, and admiration for my partner, and determination to prove im the one to end the generational trauma
@@tlrsmom in all honesty I didn't even realise I'd released it until he tried to get back in touch and I sat back and looked at my little family and realised that he'd played a huge part in how I grew up and in my mental health and how I saw myself - but that was it. It wasn't the anger that was driving me anymore; it was love. Love for my partner who supported me through everything and love for my mum and my best friend and especially my little one. I didn't turn into who I'd dreamed of being, or who I was terrified of being, but the person I wished I'd had as a child. One day you'll get there I promise. You'll wake up and realise that you're free. In my mind it's not bravery or resilience, it's just finding peace after chaos. And i promise you, at some point you will find that peace too
It's heart-breaking to see so many comments with people feeling similar. I can't identify directly, but I wanted to let you know that it is not you, it is them, there is nothing you did wrong and it's their loss.
This os the most healing song ive heard in forever. I first heard it on a day i knew my dad planned to talk to me and fully blame me for all of our problems again and demand i do various things to make up for it. I am working on leaving and the moment i am gone, i look forward to being able to let go and forgive without havingbthe trauma continuously reintroduced into my life. I am so grateful for my fiance who has sat beside me throughout my healing journey and i look forward to a future where we heal and grow together. ❤
Holy FUCK… I came across this randomly on UA-cam shorts and I am so obsessed. God this is so incredibly relatable. You’re incredible. Thank you… I’m obsessed 🖤
I'm so glad I found this exactly when I needed to. ❤ My estranged sibling made contact with me and my mom for the first time in 6 years. Unfortunately it spiraled me and made me realize due to their mental health I will never receive an apology, but I forgave them a long time ago.
You are sooo strong for singing about this! I have never thought about writing myself the apology, but maybe I should. Maybe I should also tell me parents they’re forgiven too. I hope you now feel love by your family you have now, you deserve it
Ahhh... you got me, RORY! I'm sold! Let me put you up as my new YT vocal mentor! I feel every vibe of each cord, every word, all the pain, all the sounds, and the whole story-I've been there for 30 years of my life! You are an amazing artist! I'm glad I discovered your music!!!!!! ADHD or NOT YOU ROCK!!!!! Thank you for being YOU!!!! x
Thank you so much for your music. I'm pretty sure this isn't about this but it resonates as the daughter of an abusive narcissistic mother. The daughter in me just wants her mom, for mama to just call me and say sorry for everything she did so I can forgive her and have a hug. I want that hug almost as much as I want my next breath. But then I see my daughter and realize how easy it is to not hurt her, to not cut her with my words or bruise her with my hands. So I think I will always deal with that stupid little internal war of the daughter who just wants to forgive her mother and a mother who can't because abuse is a choice.
As always telling my story in a song that resonates so well, I can’t say the last line about already being forgiven is quite something I’m ready to say, but I’m working on releasing the anger and letting go, but I’ve learnt forgiveness is for my own peace and not theirs and only destroys me. Sadly I just lost my nanna who was hurt by this person and it stirred up some bad feelings in the grieving process, my nanna was the mother to me my own could not be due to her own mental illness and unable to apologise for anything and my grandad who has been a dad to me also is so hurt by his own daughter we are both practising forgiveness to save our own heartaches ❤
This hit hard I've thought my mother was on my side when I was a child and experience sexual abuse and then right after I'd turn 18, going back to living with my mom. She was a narcissist and the case narrative I read and the things my family said what shes done was true. There so much more, but I've always ask my self if I'll ever get an apology and here we are ❤ ❤❤I love that you wrote this
That's what finally made me cry 🥲 All i have is my husband & new son, I'm No Contact with my entire family of origin. Definitely see myself reflected in the song but especially the last scene 😭 Sending you a big, comforting hug!! 🫂❤❤❤
This is something ive been needing to here. I cut full contact with my parents and my siblings. Growing up it was like everyone knew this inside joke and i was the punchline. Its been almost 3 years and ive been working on myself. All of your songs mean so much to me. Thank you for being such an amazing person
This song has encouraged me to cry so hard about my anguish and anger. It encouraged me to write that letter he needs to read. I am still forgiving but I just want to be on the other side of it. I deserved better then and now.
My sister and I are currently going through issues with our dad (again), and this dropped at the peak of it all. We also watched him struggle with addictions and it tore us apart. I love him so much, but he causes us so much pain. He’s never really apologized and that’s what hurts most. This has been playing on repeat since you posted it. Thank you for writing music that so many of us relate to. Thank you for helping me heal.
This.. just.... This. It resonates in my soul so fiercely. The silent pain and struggle to reconcile and come to terms. The painful realization you'll never get that apology and that to them it's just dust in the wind. The understanding that forgiveness doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. That forgiveness doesn't make it go away. But forgiving them helps you to heal. It hurts. Thank you for putting words to thoughts many of us cannot speak for ourselves
I can't help but tear up when I hear this. I know our stories are different, but you're able to capture those feelings in an incredible way. Thank you for sharing your story.
I’m so grateful I found you - family tree literally makes me still cry to the absolute day because I relate to it so much with my mother. & this song is just as good & powerful! Keep making this amazingly powerful lyrics! We love you all the way from Ontario, Canada! ❤
This song.....hits so hard 😢 My father beat me, burned me, bruised me, slapped me, threw and shoved me, forced me to bathe him.... He was and still is my biggest demon and bully in my head. I hear his voice yelling at me how worthless, useless, stupid and that I was his biggest disappointment. I'll never hear how sorry he was or how he apologizes for hurting me so badly.....and that hurts. I however will let the pain and anger destroy me before I ever forgive him....
I cant even count how many times ive listened to this. And every time i get goosebumps and cry. Resonates so deeply for me. Being brought up by a narcissist and then finally finding my bio dad who ghosts me has been a hard journey and your music has always helped me. There are not many people in my life that understand my childhood or even adulthood issues. I feel like these songs are a friend that understand me completely and its so healing ❤ Im sorry you went through all this too
My dad died when I was 13 I learned things about him and this song hits home, how could you not want your own daughter especially since you wanted her twin and her older brother
Thank you Rory, for sharing your story in songs with us! I decided to make your beautiful music part of my healing journey. I don't really have a connection to my dad who left when I was like 9. I guess I was "only" emotional neglected but man it still hurts. Last year I tried to talk to my dad about what he had done to me...but he couldn't/ wouldn't talk about it. Life is hard when you feel like you're not important (enough). Still struggle to this day to connect with others... Your songs help a lot!! Finally someone who understands my feelings on a different level. Wish you all the best!! ❤
Every time I watch this I am begging Rich to rush in and comfort you. I have shared this with so many people and every single one is able to identify with your songs.
Ive recently come across you music and i can relate to this song so much and it makes me feel like the feelings im/have been feeling are all ok and natural and that i dont feel so alone in my healing journey ❤
The ending breaks my heart (to see YOUR family come in to hug and support you), such a powerful and emotional track, I do hope Ken gets to hear this...and I hope deep down things can be patched up, families are not all the same, everyone is different, dealing with ADHD is also extremely tough and it would appear you have found someone wonderful that knows you inside out (Jeremy Kyle interview) and knows how to support you when times are bad.... ❤❤ xx
Well that hit home per usual. I love your music and the passion you put into every song. On another note this song will be on repeat for at least the next week.
This song makes me cry every time. I'd give anything for my mom to apologize for the hell she put me and my sister through...Thank you for making such an amazing song
Thank you, Rory, for making this song. It did bring me to tears as I understand the feeling in it as my family kept hurting me mentally until the day I stepped away.
Thank you for sharing your pain with this world. Your words resonate deeply in my soul, and unfortunately, I understand this pain all too well. But we made it, survived, and are still here, living, healing, and helping others on their journey. You are a blessing. Thank you from my soul to yours. ❤
Thank you for writing this ❤️ 💜 forever healing from narcissistic mom, these kinds of songs have helped me and saved me my whole life. Thank you Thank you
When i came across you, i thought WOW!!! you sing like an Angel, songs are so poetic and some really do cuts like a knife! true words, who have been through damaged hearts but also listening, to powerful ❤ healings of wisdom, I Love your style and please sing more more ❤
All of your music has helped me come to terms with some fucked up shit that has happened to me at the hands of my father and I truly appreciate your ability to put into words the things and feelings I cant. I found you on tik tok when you posted a video of kill the girl and now im following you on UA-cam so I never miss a new release
![RØRY - ALTERNATIVE [lyric video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/PJkehURJ-Y0/mqdefault.jpg)
![RØRY - ALTERNATIVE [lyric video]](/img/tr.png)
![ADHD TikTok stars Roxanne Emery & Richard Pink [ADHD Love] join Prof. Nancy Doyle | Jeremy Vine On 5](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/xhPzbEUAY_s/mqdefault.jpg)
VERSE 1
I know its unexpected
Just give me a second
I need to sorry for the things I did to you
When you were younger
To you and your mother
If only I’d have know back then the damage it would do
PRE
I’ve watched you fight with addiction
and struggle with commitment
Couldn’t help but think of you as a
thorn in my side
Withdrew my affection to teach you a lesson
oh, what a waste of our time
CHORUS
But there’s no knock on my door
There’s no please can we talk
No sorry for all of the pain that I caused
We’re not sat in my kitchen
with quiet forgiveness
I thought you would find your way here but you didn’t
I’ll write myself the apology I’ll never receive
VERSE 2
Too young at eleven to learn of deception
Standing on the doorstep you were screaming out my name
The day I got married I know you were angry
But that’s a conversation I’m not brave enough to face
So I kept you at a distance
Watched you try to fix it
See the pain written on your face it reminds me of her
Its hard remember all our years together
And I hate that it hurts
CHORUS
But there’s no knock on my door
There’s no please can we talk
No sorry for all of the pain that I caused
We’re not sat in my kitchen
with quiet forgiveness
I thought you would find your way here but you didn’t
I’ll write myself the apology I’ll never receive
OUTRO
I can’t keep on waiting
For you to say sorry
All of the anger it’s poisoned body
If you you ever listen to this song I’ve written
I want you to know you’re already forgiven
Your music is absolutely other-wordly and so so so relatable.
This❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤ hit deep
Ahhh switch it to Father and you’ve nailed my life.
Holy cow!!! This almost describes how I found out about my biological father at 11 years old. And he never actually accepted me as his daughter in anyway; even to his death in Aug. 2020. I met him once at 18 yrs old. 😢
Sat here listening to this on repeat, bawling my eyes out for both parents I'll never hear apologies from. Great advice to write that apology myself. I'm still working through the pain, not quite ready for the forgiveness, but this song helps. Found you from your ADHD content, found your music and was amazed.
"I can't keep on waiting for you to say sorry, all of the anger it poisoned my body" just hits hard
Me too
so so hard...
The end of this song breaks me. That moment you are done and your family rush in to comfort you. The most heartwarming thing ever xxx
as a daughter who has a narcissistic father this song hits hard and hits home because I will never get the apology from him!!! thank you for writing this song !!!!!
I understand this and know you are not alone.
We both want an apology, but will never get one.
I feel this. My mother is a narcissist. Has been my whole life. She's said sorry but I can tell it's crocodile tears. I'm 21tomorrow and she's still the same. One day I'll leave tho. And even tho it will break my inner child I have to do it. I'm gonna do it for myself.
@@elizabethhinklehinkle5393that's the thing its hard trust me. I'm 32 years old and I had to walk away from my dad when i was 29 years old. It broke my inner child but it's made me see that my dad isn't the father or could be the father I wanted from him. I hope you are okay and happy 21st birthday :) :)
@@Sophw32202
Thank you. I'm having a good birthday.😁 👍😎👍
My mom is the narcissist. I need to write myself the apology I won't receive. Tired of feeling worthless because the person who supposed to love me deemed it so.
Rory never misses. The start of her solo stuff started off super strong and continues to get even better. These super sad songs are the absolute best.
Thank you, really appreciate this x
Whqt band was she part of?
@@kathrynstewart8412 She used to feature vocals for a lot of EDM songs
@@its_r_o_r_ymasterpiece
Absolutely beautiful!! Thank you for writing and releasing this to help so many of us who are trying to heal from the toxic places we came from. Completely crying listening to this, Thank-you 💖
Thank you so much for the kindness, sending love to you xx
So we’ll written and definitively what I needed xx
@@its_r_o_r_y amazing voice
Exactly this. It’s like a tap straight to my heart and all these tears keep flooding out. ❤
This resonates with me so much. I hope he hearsthis
I held it together pretty well up until the 1:50 mark...I literally felt that vocal pitch change in my fucking soul and could not stop crying afterwards. Beautiful lyrics, beautiful song, and a beautiful artist
i couldn't possibly explain how much this song means to me. but as someone who's had to make my peace with the fact that i'll never get that apology from either of my abusive parents, i feel this song right down into my soul.
thank you. not just for writing this, but being brave enough to share your pain in your music. i know that's probably not easy, but you're helping more people than you could ever know
This stopped me dead last night. We may not need the same apology, but we certainly need a very similar one. Family tree finally helped me open up to the truth, and this new beautifully captivating song has opened the truth a little deeper. Your honesty has finally helped me start writing the book I've buried deep inside my pain for years.
Roxanne, I'm so sorry you feel pain so profound that it touches such deep pain within others.
You are incredibly brave. And beautiful and I thank you so so much.❤x
Omg your family at the end 😢😢💔 So glad you finally found happiness with them. One of my absolute favourites because the saddest ones always are. Beautiful song and this video is perfect with Rich and your step daughter running in ❤❤ xxx
Cannot thank you enough for this. Started today crying because my dad doesn't text me back when I check on him or ever call to see how I'm doing. Growing up with two alcoholic and violently abusive parents was difficult. But what's most unbearable is being an adult now and still trying harder then they ever did to bring peace to our family. I see you and love it 🥰 you deserve an apology 💚 🤗
And so do you I understand the alcoholic abuse my mother did to me made me always try to be more for everyone and I never had a chance to talk about it to my mom she passed away on Thanksgiving alone and I was never going to be able to get a apology but you don't let your efforts make you feel less than your brighter and bolder and more precious then anyone who doesn't see your love
Those of us who have been neglected and abuse at the hands of the ones we loved and were supposed to be protected by try so fucking hard in our adult lives to give everyone we meet the love and support we never had no matter how much it hurts us in the end. We just don't want anyone to feel what we have or do feel. It hurts us at our core to see someone hurting so we are there for everyone like we hoped and prayed someone would be for us.......
I am so incredibly sorry to read this, and it resonates deeply. The scares run so incredibly deep don't they... It isn't your responsibility to heal a parent, or keep peace in your family. That belongs to the parents. You never to deserved to be put in that role. I hope you find your own peace, with your own chosen family, and begin to understand how loveable you you are, and that you don't have to "work" to be loved. xx
honestly, sometimes you've got to learn when to just let go.
and i say that as someone who spent the better part of my adulthood chasing after scraps of affection from my parents and having to mourn the fact that i'd never have the mom or dad that other people had.
but if you just keep pouring more and more of yourself into a relationship that's totally one sided, at a certain point, you have to ask yourself hard questions, like is it worth it. and if it's not, if you're getting nothing back except pain, then it might be time to let go. i know how hard it is, but i also know that i feel freer and lighter than ever, now that i've made my peace with being an emotional orphan.
because now i know it's not my fault. i tried. i did everything i could. i tried so hard to make them hear me. but i finally realized that my parents' failure to listen was tHEIR failure, not mine. i didn't deserve to be ignored, cast aside, or treated like i didn't matter. its what happened, but none of it was on ME. and realizing that helped me so much. it also helped me see that i deserved better. that i deserved to be getting what i was giving, because i'm WORTH the love and attention. and if they can't see that, then they're the ones missing out, not me
Girl (not to assume gender), you gotta give that shit up. You're wasting love, effort, and attention on people who do not deserve it in the least. That's like pouring liquid gold down into a dried up old well that hasn't worked in years. Save all that for people who will love you as much as you love them. Life is too short to waste that on abusive alkie low-lives.
when you become a parent, its like reliving all of that trauma again. but this time its different. its even more heartbreaking. thank you for this beautiful song. its already changed my world. thank you.
Not me crying because I feel it so much. I will wait for my father to apologise in all eternity but I hope that I will be deep enough into recovery one day that I will be able to forgive him for everything he has done. Thank you so much for this song ❤️
This song has spurred more healing in me than anything any family member or even friend has caused. I’m bawling but it’s cathartic and I’m so grateful
this song made me cry . WOW . I felt every single note of this. I don't know you but I feel proud of you. My dad was not an easy man, he caused pain and he passed a few years ago . I have been working on forgiving him and I think I am almost there, though the apology and all I needed from him I will not get . Your song has inspired me to write a poem giving myself the apology I won't receive. 🥰💚❤
I felt this.
I relate to this so much with my situation with my mother. I just went no contact with her almost 8 months ago and it still hurts so much. I know she’ll never apologize for all the pain she put me through and she’s painted me as the villain to everyone around her. This song is helping me heal 🖤
I’m in tears. I grew up in a very abusive home and my abuser to this day refuses to admit she even did anything wrong… keeping this trauma to myself is KILLING me. This song helped me release this pain. I love your music. Can’t wait till you’re a huge success and I can say I was here when you only had 20k subs 😂🎉🖤 you’re helping people with your music what an incredible accomplishment 🖤🥹
Thank you for sharing your pain, your heart and creating this beautiful song and hits so incredibly deep. I know I'm not the only one, but I NEEDED this song at this time in my life. My abusive father is dying. He was still so horrible during my last visit. The last several months I've been coming to terms with the fact that I'll never get an apology from him. I have to focus on healing myself regarding of what he does. Thank you ❤ And I'm so sorry, you deserve so much better.
I'm sorry that you're going through that, sounds to me like you deserve so much better too x
Words cannot describe how much i needed this to express how im feeling about my mother
Your song saves my life alomst daily. Im barely hanging on but your voice and this song help me through the tears. Thank you for making this song. ❤
Robin hold on 🩵 new year is almost here. You didn’t deserve what happened to you and I am so so sorry. But there is hope of healing - sending love. I hope you have support 🙏🏼
The end just broke me. I'm so happy you had your family on set with you
I am blown away by how amazing this song is and her voice! I found her originally through the adhd reels on facebook. Damn. I wish you all the best.
ABSOLUTELY LOVE YOUR SONGS RORY... YOU DESERVE MORE NOTICE.. EVERY SONG YOU MAKE IS A MASTERPIECE
Honestly every song by Rory hits right to the soul for me.
Thank you so much from those of us who could never truly tell our parents how we really feel 😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️ its hard to feel this way
Rory, I will say it over and over, your voice, singing and your songs are on another level that every artist should look up to. You are simply amazing, you have a fan for life.
Gods it's literally the last line, always gets us crying.
Real tears, real wounds and a real heartfelt hug at the end.
You get this all the time, but your music truly is something special that resonates deeply.
I have never had a song I connect with on such a deep level.
Thank you for for putting such deep emotions within your song and connecting with us in way I never thought possible ❤
I’ve watched your videos on adhd with your husband for years. Enjoyed the cute little skits. And always I see how loved you are in your hurt. I see a woman healing from everyone that hurt her through education of those who love her. I found out you have a musical career like 15 minutes ago, bought all the songs I could based on one snippet from Instagram. I’m not disappointed as this is the first song of yours I hear all the way through.
I will never receive an apology from my dad for all the trauma he has caused me and continues to cause me. Neither will my sister for her second hand and now first hand trauma. It’s so nice to feel that I’m not alone. I’ve been trying to follow your path of healing through education of my loved ones, but it’s not always easy and they don’t always listen or follow through.
I need to write all the apologies I will never be given. For her. For that little girl inside me that just wants to feel loved and worthwhile.
Thank you. So much. For everything you do. For sharing who you are with the world. In the least creepy way I can say it, we love you, Rory. And I hope to keep watching you grow and heal, leading the way for us to follow.
I've listened to this on repeat for nearly an hour now 💀🥺❤️
Have only just had the courage to listen to this song in full. I spent years in therapy not understanding why i just couldn't bring myself to let go of the anger and let it damage me so much. I needed that anger to get myself free. I needed it to get me where i needed to be. And now ive freed myself, and proved to myself that i can live out his worst fears... that i can survive without him; i can finally work on forgiveness. The space the anger and fear and loneliness lived is now full of love for my little one, and admiration for my partner, and determination to prove im the one to end the generational trauma
So brave of you to release all of that anger. I wish I was able to do so.
@@tlrsmom in all honesty I didn't even realise I'd released it until he tried to get back in touch and I sat back and looked at my little family and realised that he'd played a huge part in how I grew up and in my mental health and how I saw myself - but that was it. It wasn't the anger that was driving me anymore; it was love. Love for my partner who supported me through everything and love for my mum and my best friend and especially my little one. I didn't turn into who I'd dreamed of being, or who I was terrified of being, but the person I wished I'd had as a child. One day you'll get there I promise. You'll wake up and realise that you're free. In my mind it's not bravery or resilience, it's just finding peace after chaos. And i promise you, at some point you will find that peace too
So beautiful, the music, the beat, the lyrics, the backing track.. the voice... That voice.. so ethereal .. thank you xx
This song hits right in the heart. thank you for the song
“All the anger has poisoned my body” had me bawling it cut deep but it’s true 😪
It's heart-breaking to see so many comments with people feeling similar. I can't identify directly, but I wanted to let you know that it is not you, it is them, there is nothing you did wrong and it's their loss.
amazing as always! healing us all one song at a time
This is beautifully written ❤ made me cry 😢
This os the most healing song ive heard in forever. I first heard it on a day i knew my dad planned to talk to me and fully blame me for all of our problems again and demand i do various things to make up for it.
I am working on leaving and the moment i am gone, i look forward to being able to let go and forgive without havingbthe trauma continuously reintroduced into my life.
I am so grateful for my fiance who has sat beside me throughout my healing journey and i look forward to a future where we heal and grow together. ❤
God I love your storytelling songs❤
Yessssss
This is so personal to you and so many of us, thank you. Music is healing
I cried and then sent this video to my daughter. The pain her father caused breaks my heart
Holy FUCK… I came across this randomly on UA-cam shorts and I am so obsessed. God this is so incredibly relatable. You’re incredible. Thank you… I’m obsessed 🖤
Thank you so much 🩵 really happy you found the music x
I'm so glad I found this exactly when I needed to. ❤
My estranged sibling made contact with me and my mom for the first time in 6 years. Unfortunately it spiraled me and made me realize due to their mental health I will never receive an apology, but I forgave them a long time ago.
You are sooo strong for singing about this! I have never thought about writing myself the apology, but maybe I should. Maybe I should also tell me parents they’re forgiven too. I hope you now feel love by your family you have now, you deserve it
Ahhh... you got me, RORY! I'm sold! Let me put you up as my new YT vocal mentor! I feel every vibe of each cord, every word, all the pain, all the sounds, and the whole story-I've been there for 30 years of my life! You are an amazing artist! I'm glad I discovered your music!!!!!! ADHD or NOT YOU ROCK!!!!! Thank you for being YOU!!!! x
Thank you so much for your music. I'm pretty sure this isn't about this but it resonates as the daughter of an abusive narcissistic mother. The daughter in me just wants her mom, for mama to just call me and say sorry for everything she did so I can forgive her and have a hug. I want that hug almost as much as I want my next breath. But then I see my daughter and realize how easy it is to not hurt her, to not cut her with my words or bruise her with my hands. So I think I will always deal with that stupid little internal war of the daughter who just wants to forgive her mother and a mother who can't because abuse is a choice.
As always telling my story in a song that resonates so well, I can’t say the last line about already being forgiven is quite something I’m ready to say, but I’m working on releasing the anger and letting go, but I’ve learnt forgiveness is for my own peace and not theirs and only destroys me. Sadly I just lost my nanna who was hurt by this person and it stirred up some bad feelings in the grieving process, my nanna was the mother to me my own could not be due to her own mental illness and unable to apologise for anything and my grandad who has been a dad to me also is so hurt by his own daughter we are both practising forgiveness to save our own heartaches ❤
This hit hard I've thought my mother was on my side when I was a child and experience sexual abuse and then right after I'd turn 18, going back to living with my mom. She was a narcissist and the case narrative I read and the things my family said what shes done was true. There so much more, but I've always ask my self if I'll ever get an apology and here we are ❤ ❤❤I love that you wrote this
WOW!! 😮😮😮 So glad you were hugged at the end!! Now I need one!! Lol! Very powerful indeed!!
That's what finally made me cry 🥲 All i have is my husband & new son, I'm No Contact with my entire family of origin. Definitely see myself reflected in the song but especially the last scene 😭 Sending you a big, comforting hug!! 🫂❤❤❤
This is helping the awful break up I’m going through right now . Word for word.
I didn't realise how hard that would hit me. It's going to take me a bit to stop crying.
This is something ive been needing to here. I cut full contact with my parents and my siblings. Growing up it was like everyone knew this inside joke and i was the punchline. Its been almost 3 years and ive been working on myself. All of your songs mean so much to me. Thank you for being such an amazing person
Floods of tears are flowing from my eyes - you’re speaking to every damaged and hurt child - I love you for this ❤
This song has encouraged me to cry so hard about my anguish and anger. It encouraged me to write that letter he needs to read.
I am still forgiving but I just want to be on the other side of it. I deserved better then and now.
My sister and I are currently going through issues with our dad (again), and this dropped at the peak of it all. We also watched him struggle with addictions and it tore us apart. I love him so much, but he causes us so much pain. He’s never really apologized and that’s what hurts most. This has been playing on repeat since you posted it. Thank you for writing music that so many of us relate to. Thank you for helping me heal.
This.. just.... This. It resonates in my soul so fiercely. The silent pain and struggle to reconcile and come to terms. The painful realization you'll never get that apology and that to them it's just dust in the wind. The understanding that forgiveness doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. That forgiveness doesn't make it go away. But forgiving them helps you to heal. It hurts. Thank you for putting words to thoughts many of us cannot speak for ourselves
I don't connect to many songs, but I heard a small clip and came here to hear this in full.
Beautiful voice, and I really felt this song xx
I can't help but tear up when I hear this. I know our stories are different, but you're able to capture those feelings in an incredible way. Thank you for sharing your story.
I needed this tonight. It's so weird. I felt every single word of this. Love you! Thankyou so much for everything you do (&Rich!) 🖤🖤🖤💙💙💙
That voice man is absolutely unreal gets ye in the feels every time
I don't know what is better, the song, or the ones you love embracing you at the end of the video
This really hit home, an apology I'll never receive I relate to so much ❤️ thank you for writing this 😢❤
I’m so grateful I found you - family tree literally makes me still cry to the absolute day because I relate to it so much with my mother. & this song is just as good & powerful! Keep making this amazingly powerful lyrics! We love you all the way from Ontario, Canada! ❤
This song.....hits so hard 😢
My father beat me, burned me, bruised me, slapped me, threw and shoved me, forced me to bathe him....
He was and still is my biggest demon and bully in my head. I hear his voice yelling at me how worthless, useless, stupid and that I was his biggest disappointment.
I'll never hear how sorry he was or how he apologizes for hurting me so badly.....and that hurts.
I however will let the pain and anger destroy me before I ever forgive him....
Your music has been helping me heal a part of me that I never thought I would be able to heal.. Thank You 😢❤
Absolutely beautiful and it really hits home, thank you for singing what most of us can't say and won't receive x
I cant even count how many times ive listened to this. And every time i get goosebumps and cry. Resonates so deeply for me. Being brought up by a narcissist and then finally finding my bio dad who ghosts me has been a hard journey and your music has always helped me. There are not many people in my life that understand my childhood or even adulthood issues. I feel like these songs are a friend that understand me completely and its so healing ❤
Im sorry you went through all this too
I don't think I shed as many tears. This spoke from the heart and honestly I feel like I can let go
Awesome tune...Those emotions!! 😢 Love it! ❤️❤️
Just found you and wow. I needed this song. Thank you for sharing your art with the world, it's the purest gift you can give anyone❤
This song hit me so hard. My father passed away on December 2022. The way he died left so much unresolved feelings. So much anger and pain.
My dad died when I was 13 I learned things about him and this song hits home, how could you not want your own daughter especially since you wanted her twin and her older brother
So nice to see at the end how loved and supported you are now 🥺🖤
Thank you Rory, for sharing your story in songs with us! I decided to make your beautiful music part of my healing journey.
I don't really have a connection to my dad who left when I was like 9. I guess I was "only" emotional neglected but man it still hurts. Last year I tried to talk to my dad about what he had done to me...but he couldn't/ wouldn't talk about it. Life is hard when you feel like you're not important (enough). Still struggle to this day to connect with others...
Your songs help a lot!! Finally someone who understands my feelings on a different level.
Wish you all the best!! ❤
That ending shot brought me to tears 🖤 what a powerful song
This entire song speaks to the soul. Thank you for sharing this with us. Thank you very much.
Rory and this song helped me with my estrangement from my mother. Thank you for helping me get through it
Beautiful delivery Rory
It’s stunning
And I hate that it hurts vocal part is magical
This song was emotionally satisfying.. It gave me heartbreak, strength, acceptance then finally closure.
Every time I watch this I am begging Rich to rush in and comfort you. I have shared this with so many people and every single one is able to identify with your songs.
Ive recently come across you music and i can relate to this song so much and it makes me feel like the feelings im/have been feeling are all ok and natural and that i dont feel so alone in my healing journey ❤
This song has spoken to me in ways no other song has. It’s truly helped heal me from the toxic relationship with my mother.
You are slowly healing my soul. Thank you.
Wow. Full body and soul chills. Thank you 💖
This song hits me like a truck no matter how many times I listen to it, or scream it in my car
The ending breaks my heart (to see YOUR family come in to hug and support you), such a powerful and emotional track, I do hope Ken gets to hear this...and I hope deep down things can be patched up, families are not all the same, everyone is different, dealing with ADHD is also extremely tough and it would appear you have found someone wonderful that knows you inside out (Jeremy Kyle interview) and knows how to support you when times are bad.... ❤❤ xx
Thank you, the music you write makes me feel less alone ❤
Well that hit home per usual. I love your music and the passion you put into every song. On another note this song will be on repeat for at least the next week.
This song makes me cry every time. I'd give anything for my mom to apologize for the hell she put me and my sister through...Thank you for making such an amazing song
Wow, that was a beautiful song. I'm so sorry you had to go through that, but your music is amazing, and I can't wait to hear more!
Can't stop crying...thank you for this wonderful song
Thank you, Rory, for making this song. It did bring me to tears as I understand the feeling in it as my family kept hurting me mentally until the day I stepped away.
Thank you for sharing your pain with this world. Your words resonate deeply in my soul, and unfortunately, I understand this pain all too well. But we made it, survived, and are still here, living, healing, and helping others on their journey. You are a blessing. Thank you from my soul to yours. ❤
Thank you for writing this ❤️ 💜 forever healing from narcissistic mom, these kinds of songs have helped me and saved me my whole life. Thank you Thank you
thank you for finding a way to verbalize these feelings, ive tried for years, thank you for just being you and sharing this with the world xx
fantastic song, I love how RØRY's vocals are so insane, they fit across so many genres (progressive house, rock, ballads), can't wait for more!
When i came across you, i thought WOW!!! you sing like an Angel, songs are so poetic and some really do cuts like a knife! true words, who have been through damaged hearts but also listening, to powerful ❤ healings of wisdom, I Love your style and please sing more more ❤
Amazing! As always!!!!❤ thank you!
All of your music has helped me come to terms with some fucked up shit that has happened to me at the hands of my father and I truly appreciate your ability to put into words the things and feelings I cant. I found you on tik tok when you posted a video of kill the girl and now im following you on UA-cam so I never miss a new release