Paris Paloma - labour [Official Video]

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  • Опубліковано 22 гру 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 18 тис.

  • @quaryn
    @quaryn 7 місяців тому +13496

    Every time I hear "the capillaries in my eyes are bursting" I remember my friend Freyja, whose ex-husband strangled her to death. Rest in power, bright star.

    • @RavindraPatil-c2p
      @RavindraPatil-c2p 7 місяців тому +330

      I'm so sorry.
      may they rest in peace ❤🕊️

    • @Luci-morningstar--
      @Luci-morningstar-- 6 місяців тому +180

      Is he in jail????

    • @KatWrangler
      @KatWrangler 4 місяці тому +93

      My heart hurts for her and you. 😢😢😢

    • @gauner1312
      @gauner1312 4 місяці тому +212

      that was my first thought. they burst when you get choked. we know this song has many DV lines and that is one of them.

    • @lexinarts
      @lexinarts 3 місяці тому +39

      Rest in power💜

  • @delaneywells-ql9cg
    @delaneywells-ql9cg 2 місяці тому +5008

    As a survivor of abuse. This song. Is my anthem . Makes me cry. Because I feel so powerful and proud of everything that I have survived

    • @Empresoffrance
      @Empresoffrance 2 місяці тому +25

      I hope you recover❤

    • @TamaraBoucaut
      @TamaraBoucaut 2 місяці тому +8

      Same!!! ❤

    • @bluewastakenx3
      @bluewastakenx3 Місяць тому +10

      I hope you live a happy healthy rest of your life ❤️

    • @amirahsuhaila
      @amirahsuhaila Місяць тому +10

      sending hugs for you🫂🫂

    • @candicebrantley1700
      @candicebrantley1700 Місяць тому +13

      As you should be! You ARE strong! You ARE amazing! You're here, and you made it when sadly, so many of us didn't. I see you and honor you!❤

  • @casper3791
    @casper3791 4 місяці тому +18221

    "If I had a daughter, I'd watch but could not save her" is such a dreadful yet often truthful sentence

    • @conniehowell-yg1hb
      @conniehowell-yg1hb 3 місяці тому +92

      vote blue

    • @matthieulepoittevin
      @matthieulepoittevin 3 місяці тому +25

      just had to warn her to choose better.

    • @ardisfaire
      @ardisfaire 3 місяці тому

      ​@@matthieulepoittevinso your comment is to literally suggest, yet again, to blame women for men's shi+ty behavior?! Men need to accept accountability for their horrible weaponized incompetence, and abuse and exploitation of the women in their lives

    • @boilermakerpatriot
      @boilermakerpatriot 3 місяці тому +1

      Just please never reproduce ❤

    • @motaku220
      @motaku220 3 місяці тому +219

      @@matthieulepoittevinmen like to hide their true colors people can change too

  • @backupnameplease
    @backupnameplease Місяць тому +1033

    I just noticed, at 1:33, there's a shot of portraits of the two of them, which imply that this woman was married off as a child. Historically, portraits would often be done on the occasion of a marriage - she looks to be at the very most, a young teen, while he looks almost exactly the same as now - an adult. Another subtle reference to an abusive practice that still happens in many cultures.

    • @christinaskittle
      @christinaskittle Місяць тому +78

      My friend was born in America but her family has talked her into an arranged marriage and tell her “it’s our culture” “it’s your duty to us”. Her dad got paid by the guy’s family already and she’s gonna marry him in 3 months so he can move to the US. They’re already talking about how she has to have a baby within two years and booked the wedding before she even knew. She’s gonna move back to where her family lives despite leaving at 16 due to abuse. Her family has made her feel obligated and she wants them to be proud of her I guess. I just feel sick and worried for her.
      A bunch of us are gonna get together and try to talk to her about it, I hope it works. She’s dreading it but is manipulated. 😭 women are not objects to sell off!!

    • @Abby-gx4qi
      @Abby-gx4qi Місяць тому +22

      @@christinaskittle good luck!😭 I hope you can talk her out of it!

    • @pippybibo1735
      @pippybibo1735 Місяць тому +27

      ​@@christinaskittleThis is truly devastating and disgusting. "Culture" a d tradition are terrible excuses for these ongoing abuses and exploitation of women and children. I pray your friend gets help and support to escape soon.

    • @sandyg4646
      @sandyg4646 Місяць тому +11

      ​@@christinaskittle I hope u talk her out of it and find her a place to stay. Nothing worse than force filial piety

    • @doaaktari8683
      @doaaktari8683 Місяць тому

      😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊

  • @Bryna..
    @Bryna.. Рік тому +10721

    the rage that builds up through the song is devastating but so beautiful. this song invokes so many emotions. the line about the daughter breaks my heart and Im not even a mom

    • @shellygirl999
      @shellygirl999 Рік тому +270

      The message behind this song is exactly why I refuse to have kids. It doesn’t matter how well I teach my son not to be incompetent, or teach my daughter not to be meek and domestic, society expects them to be that way, and kids don’t deserve to suffer through that. I’m ending my generational trauma right here.

    • @fakename658
      @fakename658 Рік тому +54

      I Only wish it was angrier

    • @gameguy3394
      @gameguy3394 Рік тому +4

      @@shellygirl999 🤪💀😂

    • @thejadegecko
      @thejadegecko Рік тому +25

      @@fakename658 It needs a rock / metal remix/cover of it. @SkyDxddy needs to do a cover. It would be perfect.

    • @charlomand3r
      @charlomand3r Рік тому +17

      same and motivates me to break the cycle if i ever decide to have kids

  • @ahe1009
    @ahe1009 Рік тому +49315

    this is absolutely a love letter to women throughout history. as historian rosalind miles points out: part of the reason men were at the forefront of so much innovation throughout history isn’t just because of lack of education for women, but because they were free to do more with their time as women were carrying most domestic and emotional labour in the home.

    • @aspannas
      @aspannas Рік тому +5

      So true. Do not forget that men stole work from women constantly throughout time and wives to "great" men stood in their shadow, just look up Mileva Einstein-Maric who was married to Albert Einstein. Any woman who managed to make a name for themselves had to work 10 times as hard as any man.

    • @HelgaMoro
      @HelgaMoro Рік тому +1

      Women worked the fields too. And held other kinds of low paying jobs. In addition to all the domestic labor. And yes, no education and weren't allowed to be members of scientific clubs or political organizations. Were humiliated for even speaking up in the presence of men. And then men say "but we created everything". Bruh. If yall's egos weren't so fragile and you didn't hold women back, humanity would already be happily living all over the solar system.

    • @ashleyunderwood8558
      @ashleyunderwood8558 Рік тому +640

      EXACTLY! THANK YOU!

    • @michelletierney3319
      @michelletierney3319 Рік тому +176

      Who cooked Adam smiths dinner 📖

    • @ailimarie
      @ailimarie Рік тому +943

      @@michelletierney3319 His mom. he wrote his book while living in his mom's house

  • @nikolettperedi560
    @nikolettperedi560 Рік тому +23201

    The feeling I get from this song is so ancient and so deep, I feel like all the rage from thousands of years of oppression to the women of all history is united into this song and it's incredibly powerful

    • @jade3855
      @jade3855 Рік тому +439

      This comment!! I don’t personally relate but I’m sitting here soaked in tears from just thousands of years of female rage. 💔❤️

    • @missnikkiparker3112
      @missnikkiparker3112 Рік тому +60

      @@jade3855 Truly same.

    • @julianamae7239
      @julianamae7239 Рік тому +76

      exactly what I felt too, well put

    • @aleksandra...
      @aleksandra... Рік тому +88

      Me too, I'm actually in opposite situation as my husband is doing most of the the labor (except emotional) as I'm chronically ill and unemployed.
      (and we had ~equal share before I started having health issues)
      But historical and contemporary examples are so heartbreaking, PLUS, all the future daughters (and sons) that are internalizing that as normal, I'm envisioning
      and this song is bringing all the emotions up...
      😢

    • @husky7281
      @husky7281 Рік тому +1

      @@spoonky7243 girls, this dum dumb dude is trying to make a scene in the comments, dont give him attention.

  • @karmareed3598
    @karmareed3598 Місяць тому +934

    Don't cry sisters. Resist Revolt. We're stronger together. I love you.

    • @elainepodzaline16
      @elainepodzaline16 27 днів тому +16

      I love this comment so much. We ride at dawn!

    • @ThatGuy-lv7hf
      @ThatGuy-lv7hf 25 днів тому +10

      Buy some pew pew ladies

    • @RAC00NFANGIRL
      @RAC00NFANGIRL 20 днів тому +1

      @@ThatGuy-lv7hfI don’t know that be good idea but instead we should protest!! We won’t be silent we deserve keep our reproductive rights!!!

    • @notchamama7571
      @notchamama7571 14 днів тому +4

      We have to change how we raise our daughters. Society teaches girls and women to eat our own. We’ll always be stronger together.

    • @annau2356
      @annau2356 14 днів тому

      @@elainepodzaline16THIS REPLY ❤

  • @percivalchase780
    @percivalchase780 Рік тому +9972

    Watch how he looks amused as she starts eating before looking angry. He feels like she's a joke before she keeps going, she proves to him she's serious. gods i love this song

    • @momo-wp5mb
      @momo-wp5mb Рік тому +32

      Righttt

    • @kittypanda10
      @kittypanda10 Рік тому +125

      Yup I wonder if they will find us amusing when we all fight back 😡

    • @meriotheart
      @meriotheart Рік тому +172

      I personally think he looks more uncomfortable? Like he doesn't understand what she is doing and why and actually physically doesn't look at her (looking down, hiding behind his hands). He looks up after a while and is also shocked she is gone.

    • @musicremixes847
      @musicremixes847 8 місяців тому +5

      @@kittypanda10 try and "fight back"

    • @thalfor54
      @thalfor54 6 місяців тому +80

      Totally agree! I can hear his thoughts, like "How amusing, she's acting up!" then "Ok, now this is not all right, I'm going to have to punish her." He's thinking deeply toward the end, but there's no hint of self-reflection, of any awareness that he's the problem. Blind to the reality until (and probably after) she's gone

  • @lanternure6122
    @lanternure6122 Рік тому +4440

    I don't usually comment but no one is talking about the plates.
    The song is literally about her being trapped in a loveless marriage and forced to be nothing but a tool for him, all the while he's eating off of a Blue Willow. The pattern on that dish is supposed to tell the story of a true love that was denied by the bride's father and ended in the couple becoming birds so they could be together. Her plate is a Blue Onion, based on a Chinese design that featured an Aster and a pomegranate. Asters represent many things in different cultures, but most notably love, faith and purity. Pomegranates in China represent fertility and a blessed future among other things. They are literally eating off dishes that show what their marriage should have been. Love, devotion and happiness but that's not what it ended up being.
    It's such a subtle detail and I love it.
    (also, although the design didn't originally feature an onion, I think it should also be noted that the word onion comes from the Latin word unio which, if I remember correctly, means unity or to unite.

    • @barbaragordon_
      @barbaragordon_ Рік тому +136

      Such a cool detail, thanks for explaining

    • @jnannadavid6114
      @jnannadavid6114 Рік тому +192

      There's such a long long history of women's secret languages used to communicate when they were cut off, isolated, and abused by the patriarchal societies they had to survive under. Flowers and Fans in England were well known, but even using the plate settings in this music video is amazing. I would never have put it together without you pointing it out and I am so grateful that you did! Nushu is another women's language that comes to mind and has such a rich history. I feel like there is a huge movement growing within the universal sisterhood of women on this planet, where we are starting to give voice to the long legacy of warnings our mothers and grandmothers were forced to whisper or desperately symbolize without hope of escape. We live in a world where we can finally speak these things out loud, and join together in the fight to fix them.

    • @NTLN-N
      @NTLN-N Рік тому +102

      Learned something new. Though, this isn't the case just for loveless marriages, even men who genuinely love their wives too often sit back and expect to be served. I'm so tired of everything.

    • @aiden3627
      @aiden3627 Рік тому +15

      This is amazing I couldn’t even see the design, good catch. And thanks for explaining!

    • @cazgreen_
      @cazgreen_ Рік тому +23

      ​@@NTLN-NThat's not really love if he's sitting back and expecting her to serve him.

  • @aubryellaotero1064
    @aubryellaotero1064 Рік тому +30504

    The part about having a daughter and being afraid that she’ll meet the same fate is a true terror that keeps me up at night

    • @namtellectjoonal7230
      @namtellectjoonal7230 Рік тому +913

      yup....one of the reasons I don't want children
      I don't wanna bring a child into this ugly world that will treat them unjustly and then turn around and blame them for not being able to keep up

    • @maca6630
      @maca6630 Рік тому +402

      I understand you. I have three daughters and I raise them so that they know how to claim their place in the world, but I will always want to raise a boy in feminism. They need to know that they're born with a privilege we don't have.

    • @anonaweaver9741
      @anonaweaver9741 Рік тому +71

      Couldn’t imagine because I was the oldest of 3 girls. Then had 2 boys. Stopped before we did have a girl

    • @desireeluciano
      @desireeluciano Рік тому +31

      I totally understand

    • @aubryellaotero1064
      @aubryellaotero1064 Рік тому +200

      The sad part is I have a wonderfully fantastic and amazing man who takes care of me now but…. It took so long. Just to find someone who truly respects me. Been through so much abuse at the hands of men to get me to this point that I really don’t see any woman being able to completely escape the violence her whole life.

  • @Kiki-qb3il
    @Kiki-qb3il 23 дні тому +180

    When artists say “I want to to inspire people with my music” this is the kind of music I want to hear from them

  • @hee-hoo5672
    @hee-hoo5672 Рік тому +15657

    “I know you’re a smart man, and weaponize false incompetence. It’s dominance under a guise” THAT FUCKING LINE AND THE SUBSEQUENT LINES HIT HARD. This whole song is so beautiful and heartbreaking yet at the end so strong

    • @RiverCrystal
      @RiverCrystal Рік тому +350

      This is the first time I've heard of weaponized incompetence in a song and I'm here for it.

    • @hee-hoo5672
      @hee-hoo5672 Рік тому +167

      @@RiverCrystal same, the first time I heard it I felt my brain physically click. There’s finally a phrase for what I’ve been trying to articulate, AND it’s part of a beautiful song???

    • @harvardpsychic8396
      @harvardpsychic8396 Рік тому +143

      I think of myself as a well read, self aware feminist. And this song just made me realized how much I give to men and how I never even saw it! I never saw it because I was conditioned to give men so much of myself. I was groomed to it before I knew how to speak, and know I'm not the only one. It's so sad.

    • @kenny995
      @kenny995 Рік тому +115

      It was a brilliant line. I've started calling out weaponized incompetence from people in my life. I ask them if they are genuinely dumb and can't do it, or if they are playing dumb to make you do it. They go silent real quick and that silence speaks volumes.

    • @golden0lady1
      @golden0lady1 Рік тому +10

      What does it mean by it ? English is not my first language

  • @audreydahlman4473
    @audreydahlman4473 Рік тому +13585

    I absolutely love the symbolism in her choosing to eat a pomegranate. Pomegranates are used in so many ways in different religions and myths, but in every single one it is a symbol of womanhood, rebirth, or something of the sort. It’s such a powerful choice to use that as she eats in rebellion.

    • @PILOSOPAUL
      @PILOSOPAUL Рік тому +514

      The immediate thing that came to my mind was Persephone who was a captive of Hades, she is usually represented by pomegranates

    • @mariakara2419
      @mariakara2419 Рік тому +92

      yaaa also fertility i think ive heard

    • @andyhu7205
      @andyhu7205 Рік тому +240

      I like to think of it as her casting herself into hell to escape him! The pomegranate in Greek mythology is what kept Persephone from her mother in the underworld!

    • @cecilkeith1951
      @cecilkeith1951 Рік тому +29

      Persephone and Hades vibes

    • @adiastar9815
      @adiastar9815 Рік тому +54

      @@Ashni1 interesting. In many other languages, it is literally called a "grenade apple", plus "pomme" in french means just apple...

  • @Seafoamee
    @Seafoamee Рік тому +21137

    The symbolism of her lighting her candle and watching it burn down while his is unlit and barely touched is perfect

    • @Raelyn03
      @Raelyn03 Рік тому +229

      I was just about to comment on that, its really such a cool detail!!

    • @fallen_star2319
      @fallen_star2319 Рік тому +648

      Add in that al the ones in his view are perfectly fine, while hers are starting to burn out? The one symbolizing her burns out entirely, the one representing him is never lit. But the surrounding candles, symbolizing work and effort?
      His are half tall, still easily burning. Hers are almost at their ends - she is completely burnt out in herself and from the excess work that she does for him, while he doesn't need to exert himself in nearly the same fashion.
      It's a smaller detail, but a really nice one.

    • @garimabajaj7443
      @garimabajaj7443 Рік тому +65

      oh my god, wow. this made me think so much.

    • @paigelarrabee3143
      @paigelarrabee3143 Рік тому +143

      Her candle seems to symbolize patience. Her fuse must get lit every mealtime. Even if he isn't there and away at work. She toils over everything and so it has been eroded to the point of an escape plan.

    • @bleepbloop838
      @bleepbloop838 Рік тому +39

      Like she loved and unloved, but he never learnt to love. Idk.

  • @automatafell
    @automatafell Місяць тому +403

    a friend sent me this artist's name without knowing I was deliberating separating from my then-husband. I clicked this video first by chance while at work. I had to excuse myself because of the crying. every subsequent viewing causes the same reaction--even now, almost a year away from deciding to leave that decade-long relationship. thank you for this song. I wasn't thinking about things in these terms or words, but I was forced to because of how deeply and instinctually they resonated. can confirm that it's not the worst thing if a love like that dies. it's the best thing.

    • @insanelittlesilk
      @insanelittlesilk Місяць тому +11

      I’m so glad you made it out ❤️

    • @Rose-q1h2m
      @Rose-q1h2m Місяць тому +11

      I wish you an amazing prosperous life ❤

    • @talizorah
      @talizorah Місяць тому +9

      I'm so glad you're free of him now 💜

    • @AnishaFernandise
      @AnishaFernandise 26 днів тому +7

      I'm happy for you darling hope you endless strength to live a happy life❤

    • @jarsofglitter
      @jarsofglitter 25 днів тому +8

      I'm so happy for you, congratulations on making a better life for yourself. I am over 10 years out of an awful relationship and can confirm it was the best decision I ever made.

  • @tanyadarling6892
    @tanyadarling6892 Рік тому +18764

    I love that we don't see her face at the start, like how many women have lived and continue to live as faceless, nameless entities, whose work is never acknowledged as theirs - I love this song for so beautifully expressing both power and grief

    • @angytingz
      @angytingz Рік тому +100

      i was thinking this too!!

    • @moonshine7374
      @moonshine7374 Рік тому

      We don't see the guy's face either, are you psycho?

    • @silveralpha3630
      @silveralpha3630 Рік тому +44

      Idk why this reminded me of Rosalind Franklin...

    • @patternrecon5271
      @patternrecon5271 Рік тому +12

      Loxist subversion
      Kalergi plan
      Minimum replacement birth rate: 2.1
      Israel birth rate: 3.00
      EU birth rate: 1.53
      Canada birth rate: 1.47
      USA birth rate: 1.70
      Australia birth rate: 1.66
      Russia birth rate: 1.50
      Ukraine birth rate: 1.23
      Moldova: 1.28
      Belarus: 1.38
      Serbia: 1.48
      Bulgaria: 1.56
      Romania: 1.60
      Albania: 1.58

    • @Eclipsiscv
      @Eclipsiscv Рік тому +69

      It reminds me of a line from “Whatever you want” by Vienna Teng - “she’s just a dress wearing a face in the doorway.”

  • @lachlainegordon806
    @lachlainegordon806 Рік тому +11837

    When she grabbed the pomegranate to signify her enjoying the fruits of her own labour was just YASSSSSSS and pomegranates have long been a symbol of womanhood bc they represent periods. I LOVE THIS SO MUCH

    • @chembabe8264
      @chembabe8264 Рік тому +264

      And blood... it signifies blood

    • @quizyjest1616
      @quizyjest1616 Рік тому +585

      Plus in Greek Mythology pomegranates are seen as a fruit of fertility, hence their signifying of blood but more specifically menstration. Additionally, in other faiths pomegrantes are seen as a fruit of gods, so her eating it is a symbol of defiance, not unlike Eve in Abrahamic faiths.

    • @iamV10010
      @iamV10010 Рік тому +68

      ​@@chembabe8264 can't tell if you're adding to the original comment by saying the pomegranate also signifies blood or if you're making fun of it in an"it ain't that deep" way.
      Please clarify so I may respond accordingly.

    • @ponypony2905
      @ponypony2905 Рік тому +154

      AND it's also present as the fruit that sentenced Persephone for life with Hades in the underworld, despite her protests I MEAN ITS SO BADASS

    • @AgentLane13
      @AgentLane13 Рік тому +163

      @@chembabe8264 boy have I got news for you about the connection between menstruation and blood

  • @lectia4091
    @lectia4091 Рік тому +5984

    “For someone who I thought was my savior, you sure make me do a whole lot of labour.” Hits hard when your with somebody who promised to take you out of your misery but ends up traumatizing you just as the same or even worse.

    • @mary5177
      @mary5177 Рік тому +32

      much love and healing!!!

    • @hazelhope5646
      @hazelhope5646 Рік тому +100

      its just trading one jail for another.

    • @DarthFurie
      @DarthFurie Рік тому +22

      I know exactly what you mean. Wishing you freedom, I'll have mine soon❤

    • @lectia4091
      @lectia4091 Рік тому +5

      @@DarthFurie thanks and Dw you will just hold on ❤️❤️

    • @flawedsanity
      @flawedsanity Рік тому +25

      It hits home very hard for me too. All my life I've just traded one horrific situation for another, it seems. Wishing freedom and peace to everyone in the comments - I hope I will get mine soon.

  • @ashleybratton4744
    @ashleybratton4744 Місяць тому +3803

    Watching on November 6th, 2024. Ive been blaring this all day.

    • @Dontincludeme
      @Dontincludeme Місяць тому +55

      I usually play the news when I drive to work. I couldn’t today. I put on Taylor Swift instead 😢

    • @UmmJalal
      @UmmJalal Місяць тому +42

      Same girl I never felt so damn heard

    • @satumattinen715
      @satumattinen715 Місяць тому +13

      Same.

    • @syr603
      @syr603 Місяць тому +27

      cringe

    • @kaiboycoolio
      @kaiboycoolio Місяць тому +81

      @@syr603just say you cant take the fact that alot of people are genuinely scared for their future because of the election results

  • @GemBob123
    @GemBob123 Рік тому +8032

    This song just epitomises how women's roles are consistently delegitimised. Even the stereotypical housewife is not seen as real 'labour'. Cooking, cleaning, managing the home, taking care of the children is a job. Just because it's not paid, it's seen as somehow 'worth less'. Stunning.

    • @hassanalkhalaf1115
      @hassanalkhalaf1115 Рік тому

      But who does stigmatise it? It's not men, it's feminists. They shit on women who are haply to be housewives because how dare they to live happily under a man?! During that conservative men don't expect their wives to work a job and at home because everyone has their assigned roles. Want to quit that? That's cool but many are happy with that as long as they got the choice

    • @hassanalkhalaf1115
      @hassanalkhalaf1115 Рік тому

      @L W these aren't my words. It's used by (extreme) feminists to shit on housewives and mothers

    • @hassanalkhalaf1115
      @hassanalkhalaf1115 Рік тому +9

      @L W that's a valid point.

    • @wickywickyjoka
      @wickywickyjoka Рік тому +171

      @L W From experience, Partnership is just what she's been gaslighted into believing. You are literally blinded to the fucked up happenings around you. You're told you need to earn your keep, and you agree. That is only right, right? You could be on the streets with nothing, you are ungrateful. You don't want to be "that wife", the one that sits on the couch eating bonbons. He already looks at you and smiles every single time a song about a partner sitting on their ass and spending all the earned income comes on the radio...
      But for some reason, room and board ends up paying cents on the hour, and it demands that you do every single other thing that isn't going to work. And there isn't even an attempt to make any of that easier on you, i.e. This man didn't even use a trash can, his trash just magically disappeared off the floor beside "his chair" everyday. He complained that having a new baby was hard on him because every time he cried in the middle of the night, "I had to try to fall back to sleep!" If I even asked him to clean up just his own part of the mess in our home, it was a fight where he threw his job up in my face.
      I spent 12 years after he stopped paying for us to live trying to "repay" the room and board I received for 10. Let's not forget that I was earning that room and board DURING those 10 years too. I told everyone around me that we were partners, too! And at that time, I thought I fully meant that. But the reality was, he worked outside for 8-10 hours, and I worked inside, at the school, at the doctors, at the after school functions, in the yard, and all around town for 24 hours. He got two days off a week. I got an hour to bathe on his days off. He got bonuses and overtime. I got setbacks, and had to make compromises. Partners.

    • @SaturnStatic
      @SaturnStatic Рік тому +174

      And if u have a full time career you get shamed for neglecting your family
      Nothing is ever good enough! Stay at home women are shamed, women with careers are shamed, women with kids are shamed, women without kids are shamed
      Essentially, people just don’t respect women. That’s why the whole “pick me” thing is SO stupid
      Acting “like one of the guys” or “not being like other girls” won’t earn the respect they think it does

  • @anaionescu8913
    @anaionescu8913 Рік тому +3660

    The pomegranate is a symbol of renewal and rebirth in some cultures. The fact that that's the food she reaches for as she rebels against her 'master', and devours it hungrily, tells such a powerful story of aggressive protest against oppressors.

    • @marthadumptruck5102
      @marthadumptruck5102 Рік тому +209

      The pomegranate is also an established symbol of womanhood- to the Greeks, Gauls, Roma, and in Judaism. It’s been called “the fruit of the womb”. It’s not just renewal/rebirth- she’s claiming her womanhood fully, wholly for herself.

    • @All-ze9cl
      @All-ze9cl Рік тому +98

      Also, idk if this has any relevance to what she is saying, but in the greek myth, Persephone gets trapped in the underworld because she eats hades pomegranate. She has to stay with him during the winter which is why the trees lose their leaves. SO it could be her reclaiming her womanhood and eating the pomegranate in spite of the man.

    • @horselover40
      @horselover40 Рік тому +89

      Its also a very difficult fruit to eat and stay relatively clean even when trying. If you just say screw it and go to town it could be seen as a symbol of everything "unladylike" messy, ungraceful, even savage if you go about it right, but true womanhood can easily include all of these things. Even though we often hide them

    • @rowanfrost8489
      @rowanfrost8489 Рік тому +14

      Stephen King actually uses the pomegranate symbolism in his book Rose Madder.

    • @spiffyvanspot
      @spiffyvanspot Рік тому +36

      Just adding that it's also theorized the fruit Eve eats in Eden is a pomegranate, not an apple. There's a lot of layers to that choice in the video.

  • @soullessnstereo
    @soullessnstereo Рік тому +15986

    The fact the marriage candle beside him has NEVER been lit and her's has burnt down. Every little detail is feminine perfection.

    • @bubbleslot
      @bubbleslot Рік тому +262

      What's a marriage candle? I missed the symbolism on that one

    • @gessicakaylanedasilva6932
      @gessicakaylanedasilva6932 Рік тому +660

      @@bubbleslot i think it represents love, he never really loved her, and with time and abuse her love dies/fades.

    • @bubbleslot
      @bubbleslot Рік тому +73

      @@gessicakaylanedasilva6932 ah, that makes sense

    • @Cryoniiic
      @Cryoniiic Рік тому +93

      God I didn’t even notice that

    • @solar0wind
      @solar0wind Рік тому +90

      Are marriage candles a part of a certain culture? I don't think we have/had them in German culture, but maybe I'm just too uneducated😅

  • @hammkem7778
    @hammkem7778 Місяць тому +356

    Playing this on repeat today, REFUSE TO GIVE UP! DO NOT GIVE UP, KEEP FIGHTING!

    • @InigoMontoya-cg6bm
      @InigoMontoya-cg6bm Місяць тому

      what is to be done

    • @blakeslide6919
      @blakeslide6919 Місяць тому +3

      fighting for what? What are you doing exactly?

    • @dawnsmith3772
      @dawnsmith3772 Місяць тому +4

      It's a shame we have to feel this way, but we have to. Rock on, girl

    • @dawnsmith3772
      @dawnsmith3772 Місяць тому +3

      ​@@blakeslide6919fighting for: cerebral equality

    • @blakeslide6919
      @blakeslide6919 Місяць тому +3

      @@dawnsmith3772 blah blah, most people don't agree with you. get out of your echochamber. after a month youll forget this all happened and go back to your uncharacteristic life

  • @punpkinpi2015
    @punpkinpi2015 Рік тому +7044

    I just noticed a very incredible little detail in the candle she lights for herself in the beginning. Throughout the song you can see it burning lower and lower, and by the end when she's disappeared, its at the bottom and the wick is the only one blown out. Both her and the candle were burnt out, and so she left. I love the attention to little things like this in music videos, makes the story all that much stronger and shows how much love was put into making it.
    EDIT: I just noticed the man's candle is not only longer but is never lit. He's never having to burn himself out on any domestic labor whatsoever.

    • @alexwulf9150
      @alexwulf9150 Рік тому +208

      Also the pitch of her voice seems to follow this pattern as well, the high, timid childlike beginning slowly sliding into low, strong, mature end.

    • @irenequarena2064
      @irenequarena2064 Рік тому +134

      and can we also point out the fact that she ripped apart a pomegranate, and started eating exactly that fruit? the remind to Greek mythology and the myth of Persephone, trapped and tricked by Hades with 4 pomegranate seeds to stay with him in "Hell" for 4 months a year? what always represented oppression in symbolism now is the key to freedom
      and also the fact that all she eats reminds of a blood-ish color might also represent the fact that she got so tired of hanging on that she quite literally eat her heart out, such a beautiful song and meaning also through images

    • @Gabi24492
      @Gabi24492 Рік тому +45

      ​@@irenequarena2064 curious enough, Hades was probably the best olympian husband by far

    • @ugetsuapologist5310
      @ugetsuapologist5310 Рік тому +48

      @@Gabi24492 very low standards in greek mythologies but their relationship was the definition of grooming and should not be glorified.

    • @jhunt5578
      @jhunt5578 Рік тому +2

      "On any labour whatsoever" Yes because men don't do any work do they. Smh

  • @airheadmikito559
    @airheadmikito559 Рік тому +16745

    What struck me about this song is that EVERY woman knows of another woman being treated like this or has gone through it herself. No sister is untouched. And there's a deep, deep fury about that. Even if not personally, throughout history, women know.

    • @ElizabethUkeh
      @ElizabethUkeh Рік тому

      Tbh, I don't know a woman who hasn't been through some kind of deep trauma with men.
      Hating men is pretty easy

    • @salaahkhayr2398
      @salaahkhayr2398 Рік тому +29

      Treated like what exactly? Doing housechores while the men provide and pay for you? Lol.

    • @user-ed7et3pb4o
      @user-ed7et3pb4o Рік тому +2

      @@salaahkhayr2398 the more of your comments I read, the more I believe that your IQ is double digits. I feel sorry for your poor mother.

    • @DeirdreMooMoo
      @DeirdreMooMoo Рік тому +1275

      ​@@salaahkhayr2398doing a majority of the housechores while also working a full time job and doing a majority of the childcare and emotional labor that comes with having children. Being exhausted from waking up in the middle of the night to feed a child two people created and being told they're being bitchy that following evening. Being expected to cook after coming home from a full shift of work and maid. And being told to be grateful because the man in the relationship brings home money.

    • @chloecampbell9821
      @chloecampbell9821 Рік тому +231

      @@salaahkhayr2398 this me bad vibes 🙄
      *edit*
      Your comment gave me bad vibes 🙄

  • @annabelle6770
    @annabelle6770 Рік тому +5084

    1:55 "if we had a daughter i'd watch and could not save her" this part brings tears to my eyes every time i listen

    • @cutiepienico5600
      @cutiepienico5600 Рік тому +75

      Same cried when first heared that line hit me hard😢

    • @wordwoman9900
      @wordwoman9900 Рік тому +130

      I am that daughter. I saved myself. But my mom still cried when I pointed it out in adulthood and she realized what growing up under my father's thumb was actually like.

    • @alexwhyley2786
      @alexwhyley2786 Рік тому +37

      @@wordwoman9900Sammmmmme. That part made me sob instantly soon as I heard it. So sad and cruel that it’s such a universal experience so many wives and daughters can relate to.

    • @kanaksikarwar223
      @kanaksikarwar223 Рік тому +7

      Actually they can save bit they choose not to! That's how times are changing. The more you support your daughter the more you are saving her from all of this.

    • @PerfectlyDeranged
      @PerfectlyDeranged Рік тому +26

      This hit me hard too. I left. I wasn’t going to watch my daughter grow up thinking how I was being treated was anywhere near okay. That the example for her would to be bullied, beaten down, insulted, gaslit, manipulated, tricked and deceived while I worked my ass off to look after a man child. It wasn’t happening. I cut my losses for her sake and I thank god every day that I did.

  • @myr4-k
    @myr4-k Місяць тому +106

    this hits home. i was sexually assaulted by a narcissist who verbally abused me and forced me. i am exhausted. i send all my love to women out there struggling with toxic men and i wish we can all stand up for ourselves and our values. my brother and my mother is here for me to support me which i am very thankful for. please educate your son, so we can break the cycle of toxic masculinity!

  • @Flora-v4k
    @Flora-v4k Рік тому +6842

    “It’s not an act of love if you make her” sends chills down my spine 😭

    • @van_ol1056
      @van_ol1056 11 місяців тому +296

      Literally, so many misogynistic men justify giving women all the domestic chores bc it's a "love language". And men's only love language is somehow always physical touch, never service

    • @Rebekah_withanH
      @Rebekah_withanH 10 місяців тому +68

      ​@@van_ol1056 the love languages thing was invented by an Evangelical pastor

    • @SummerSun-sg3wf
      @SummerSun-sg3wf 10 місяців тому +4

      And yet they never touch you to control you

    • @schuylergeery-zink1923
      @schuylergeery-zink1923 10 місяців тому +37

      Touch is about platonic and no sexual affectionate touch. And usually you naturally DO the love language you prefer. So my husband appreciates acts of service (when I cook for us) and he cleans a lot, does his own laundry, does the dishes etc. He also is quick to give praise and is receptive to words of affirmation. I enjoy quality time and touch, so he knows I want conversation and like hugs and massages. We do all the love languages tho. It’s just we know what to ask for clearly of each other.

    • @rosasuarez1
      @rosasuarez1 9 місяців тому +8

      ​@@SummerSun-sg3wf?

  • @taylorbalon6488
    @taylorbalon6488 Рік тому +4710

    This song unleashed something very scary and emotional inside me. It’s like suddenly I’m feeling all the grief, suffering and anger of every women since the dawn of time.

    • @miriamschmitz394
      @miriamschmitz394 Рік тому +185

      Exactly and it connects you to your female ancestors

    • @jessicam.3438
      @jessicam.3438 Рік тому +46

      i love this comment paired with your icon

    • @taylorbalon6488
      @taylorbalon6488 Рік тому +21

      @@jessicam.3438 LMAOOO thank u :))

    • @Farbklex94
      @Farbklex94 Рік тому +48

      This is how I felt, but I couldn't put it into words.

    • @user-gv2mc3db8v
      @user-gv2mc3db8v Рік тому +13

      Literally, just wow.

  • @avadakedevra2895
    @avadakedevra2895 11 місяців тому +14412

    In india, there is this tradition of the wife/mother in the family eating last, they are not allowed to sit with the family and eat together. Instead they are often left with the leftovers of their own cooking while the men and children are served first and take away most of the food without consideration for the mother.
    I am lucky to be born in a progressive family where this tradition has long since been abandoned. But it still persists in many many families, regardless of economic class.

    • @gisellmuniz7321
      @gisellmuniz7321 11 місяців тому +650

      I am from the north of Mexico Chihuahua, The traditional woman need to be serving the family food into the men and the children finish there food. making hot tortillas in the process. when you are like 8 years old you start helping the mother too. it is so interest see how cultures can be similar in view and traditions, I love India food !!!

    • @avadakedevra2895
      @avadakedevra2895 11 місяців тому +1

      There are so many similarities in mexican and indian culture in general life as well! Its truly astounding. We dont have any common history, our countries located on two sides of the world, opposite to each other meridian wise, and yet!! Lots of love to mexico from india!! ❤@@gisellmuniz7321

    • @RachelDeRosier010894
      @RachelDeRosier010894 11 місяців тому +1016

      If I'm the one cooking the food, no one should be allowed to eat until I sit at the other head of the table. Periodt.

    • @avadakedevra2895
      @avadakedevra2895 11 місяців тому +347

      ​@@RachelDeRosier010894 exactly how it should be.

    • @charlottaberg6934
      @charlottaberg6934 10 місяців тому +19

      😢❤

  • @EvstersYT
    @EvstersYT Місяць тому +523

    This will be our anthem for the next 4 years, lets make for god damn sure the lyrics peirce their ears the whole way

    • @MotherOfCats-m2g
      @MotherOfCats-m2g Місяць тому +9

      Here too ✊

    • @kaylafatula
      @kaylafatula Місяць тому +5

      ✊🏻💙

    • @machinagirl
      @machinagirl Місяць тому +4

      ✊🏻💙

    • @isthatanemo
      @isthatanemo Місяць тому +1

      Stfu. There’s women who have no fucking rights in this world. You do. Stop being selfish with your privileged ass and shut up.

    • @generalj216
      @generalj216 Місяць тому +4

      THAT’LL SHOW THE CHUDS!!!

  • @kiararodriguez2118
    @kiararodriguez2118 Рік тому +9604

    The background vocals being children at the end enrages me and breaks my heart. This is a masterpiece. Every little detail is perfect

    • @em01455
      @em01455 Рік тому +256

      I didn’t even realize that my god

    • @highdeadesigns6424
      @highdeadesigns6424 Рік тому +116

      That's my favorite part😭😭

    • @universal_stupidity
      @universal_stupidity Рік тому +258

      she has apparently said they aren't children, but it's still beautiful

    • @solus8685
      @solus8685 Рік тому +182

      I think it's young women, not kids

    • @aeonia_anassa
      @aeonia_anassa 9 місяців тому +22

      What even made you think that's children singing, its extremely clear it's not but the fact you "heard" children's voices worries me. Whatever it is, I hope you're taking care of it.

  • @fozzyspots
    @fozzyspots Рік тому +28531

    this truly is a love letter to all the hundreds of millions of women who have lived and died, nameless and faceless and unappreciated, terrified and violated and unfulfilled, lonely and clever and murdered. we see you. we're sorry.

  • @amber61pop
    @amber61pop Рік тому +5385

    "Apologies from my tongue, and never yours." "If our love died would that be the worst thing? For somebody that I thought was my saviour, you sure make me do a whole lot of labour." I cried, these lyrics hurt so much. Thank you.

    • @harvardpsychic8396
      @harvardpsychic8396 Рік тому +83

      That line made me realize so much. I've had relationships with men of influence. I was drawn in under some idea that they would make my life easier and love me. But they almost always drain more from me then they give, and I do mean DRAIN. Looking back, if I had just given them the finger and invested that energy in myself then I would have been better off. Damn, the patriarchial PR system is so huge and insiidious.

    • @user-ki6dt9bf1s
      @user-ki6dt9bf1s Рік тому +4

      😊😊

    • @aPeachWhoLovesYeshua
      @aPeachWhoLovesYeshua Рік тому +8

      @@harvardpsychic8396 Patriarchy isn’t the problem, selfish and inconsiderate men are the problem. I’m currently learning to love myself and God because I put too much energy into selfish men in the past💯

    • @charliemackin9620
      @charliemackin9620 Рік тому

      It's all propaganda and ponting out the worst of possibilities to destroy the west and its traditionally rich culture. Now we see no culture and broken families due to propaganda like this filth. Could have make a better song for the human soul. Life requires work to survive 💪

    • @AbeeraUsmanKhawaja
      @AbeeraUsmanKhawaja 10 місяців тому +14

      ​@@aPeachWhoLovesYeshuaPatriarchy & men both are problem.

  • @vaszgul736
    @vaszgul736 18 днів тому +39

    Don't stop listening to this for the next four years.

  • @brandiswingley521
    @brandiswingley521 Рік тому +5875

    I burst a capillary in my eye giving birth to my first daughter 12 years ago, and then pumped milk for her in a supply closet while she was under the lights for jaundice. It was so painful I bled, while her father told me my eye disgusted him and mooed at me for feeding her.
    When I made him food he didn't like, he'd spit it out into my hand.
    I'll probably never pay off the loans I took out to help support us both.
    It's been a decade, but the rage this song stirred in me is overwhelming.

    • @justasadgirl
      @justasadgirl Рік тому +499

      I am so sorry you had go trough that

    • @brandiswingley521
      @brandiswingley521 Рік тому +680

      @@justasadgirl I'm okay! I made it through, and all that life gave me and took from him almost makes me believe in a benevolent god lol. Everything he was ever proud of is gone and he's alone. I married the love of my life and couldn't physically be happier.
      Women can survive and grow in the worst conditions. ♥️

    • @sthecoolbro4357
      @sthecoolbro4357 Рік тому +248

      you are so incredibly strong, your daughter will grow with an amazing roll model

    • @brandiswingley521
      @brandiswingley521 Рік тому +56

      @@sthecoolbro4357 thanks friend ♥️

    • @eltheducc5576
      @eltheducc5576 Рік тому +118

      this is a heartbreaking story, I’m so glad you made it out. Some women have never escaped this type of situation and it breaks my heart. I’m so glad you’re doing better ❤

  • @jessiemayfield6749
    @jessiemayfield6749 Рік тому +7577

    I love the line ‘it’s not an act of love if you make her’ referring to marital/relationship sexual assault blending perfectly into her complaint of being forced to do and be too many things. It’s subtle but important

    • @kDv815
      @kDv815 Рік тому +512

      It’s truly horrifying that so many people believe rape can’t happen in a marriage. That is a disgusting view to have and is entirely untrue. Consent is always needed, regardless of relationship

    • @kaosooll
      @kaosooll Рік тому +110

      I hope and pray that all of us women never experience this kind of pain. ❤️‍🩹

    • @BadActingWYIM
      @BadActingWYIM Рік тому +143

      @@kDv815 its disgusting how brain washed we all are. i remember onw time I was sexually assaulted by my boss and girls were telling me not to tell his wife or blaming me. Saying the wife wont believe me anyway or ill just cause the child to grow up with a single parent. wtf? he gave me a raise suddenly the next day but i left. gross

    • @matthewbates9629
      @matthewbates9629 Рік тому +12

      I mean it sucks that happened but what do you expect and if you told the higher ups they would make you sign an affidavit legally binding you to not say anything leaving was the best choice you made in my opinion

    • @Brokegirlhomestead
      @Brokegirlhomestead Рік тому +8

      And now that you wrote this it makes sense even more 😢

  • @stephaniecobian725
    @stephaniecobian725 2 місяці тому +1448

    I haven’t seen anyone comment about the positions of their hands throughout the video. It’s a nice detail because hands are used to express oneself. The husbands hands are free to wander around and place wherever he wants, even fidgeting with his ring symbolizing how’s he allowed to complain about the marriage and have free reign. While the wife’s are always hidden and placed underneath the table until she starts to become more expressive.

    • @Cogzyolk
      @Cogzyolk 2 місяці тому +40

      Goodness this Video has more symbolism then I thought

    • @lisalisa2375
      @lisalisa2375 Місяць тому +16

      That's her fidgeting with her ring. Notice the empty plate.

    • @carenrose6002
      @carenrose6002 25 днів тому +7

      He fidgets with his ring first, it's a little hard to tell because of the camera angle. But then after she sits back down, that is her fidgeting with her ring.

  • @imjayhime
    @imjayhime Місяць тому +35

    This song and video are so powerful. They give me chills every time, especially when the other women chant alongside her. And when she sings about a daughter, TEARS.

    • @starryspin
      @starryspin Місяць тому

      I thought those were children's vocals, though? I heard someone say they had children sing this song.

  • @linbbzz8855
    @linbbzz8855 Рік тому +8606

    I love how he refuses to listen to her chanting in the end. But when he does, and that’s also when the chanting stops, she is gone. What a powerful double meaning. Not only does he finally start to pay her attention ones it’s over and not during her words, but also: it’s too late now.

    • @kutter721
      @kutter721 Рік тому +541

      rather reminds me of the "walkaway wife" syndrome - when women have asked and asked and begged and ultimately get ignored, then they're surprised when she leaves, like she did it with no warning.

    • @scorchedroseproductions3266
      @scorchedroseproductions3266 Рік тому +153

      @@kutter721 this almost happened to my husband and I, but he got the wake up call and has improved substantially. There's still work to do on his part, but he's making great strides and I had begged and begged and begged. But it did take me almost leaving for it to happen

    • @williamsstephens
      @williamsstephens Рік тому +61

      ​@@kutter721 I warned him. And yes, he was surprised anyway.

    • @mightykaytor
      @mightykaytor Рік тому +161

      There's a fairly well-known essay online by a divorced writer called "She left me because I left the dishes by the sink" or something very like that wherein the gist (kindly broken down for men by a man) is that it was NEVER about the dishes but his lack of consideration and sense of entitlement that destroyed the relationship. Should be eecommended reading before cohabitating with someone.

    • @Evija3000
      @Evija3000 Рік тому +96

      ​@@kutter721 I work in a court, including divorce cases, and indeed it's always the men who don't understand why she filed for a divorce. The weirdest case was when two elderly people had married. She wanted a divorce not long after because he treated her like a full on nurse and caregiver. He seemed unable to grasp the issue, said he still loved her, etc. Seemed like a romantic type, completely oblivious to the practical burden he was putting on his wife.

  • @samevans1289
    @samevans1289 Рік тому +7934

    "It's not an act of love if you make her."
    Sex, pregnancy, being a stay-at-home parent, housework, being submissive, and so much more that can apply for that lyric - things and acts that come naturally to many people and/or are done willingly by many and can result from love, that turn into a freaking nightmare when it's imposed on people.

    • @lesbihonestart9888
      @lesbihonestart9888 Рік тому +278

      "People". There's only one type of person this is imposed on. It's women.

    • @LilFrg
      @LilFrg Рік тому +55

      It can also apply to forcing a woman to have a career when she wants to be a stay at home mom. Forcing a woman to do anything, but don’t down play societies new hatred of stay at home mothers 🙄

    • @samevans1289
      @samevans1289 Рік тому +140

      @@LilFrg
      Don't turn my comment into a debate by making a skewed and straight-up intentionally wrong reading of the lyric. "It's not an act of love if you make her" - where is the act of love (and towards whom?) in a woman choosing her career as opposed to becoming a homemaker? That's the whole premise of my comment - that doing all those things can be acts of love IF they are not imposed to begin with. I think I was quite clear in my comment.

    • @lesbihonestart9888
      @lesbihonestart9888 Рік тому +125

      @@LilFrg domestic labour by women is supremely undervalued for sure. The desire to stay at home with little education and pop out kids doesn't exist in a vacuum tho. You gotta look at how many of these women are raised with strict, traditional misogynistic values that tie their worth to reproduction, how much their education has been limited, and also just the world around them that actually does value women staying in the home at large. Some feminists critiquing the pitfalls of being a stay at home mother - aka the lack of finacial independence should their husband leave/die/get sick/abuse them and also the detriment to little girls being raised with the same misogynistic expectations to follow their mother, as well as the damage to the environment of popping out a bunch of kids, doesn't mean stay at home mothers are societally hated. Look at home many countries in the world do not allow women comprehensive control of when/if they get pregnant. How many deny access to employment or full independence without marriage to a man. How many allow child bride marriage (this includes the USA btw). Society doesn't hate stay at home mums. It hates WOMEN. Whatever role we occupy is unequal and unfair because of this.

    • @iamsatan8961
      @iamsatan8961 Рік тому +52

      ​@@LilFrg did they say it couldn't? Oh wait.. They didn't you're just creating an argument because you're bored

  • @xPrincessGarnetXVI
    @xPrincessGarnetXVI Рік тому +4104

    I love how the song is introduced with this eloquent and poetic tongue and then right before the chorus she breaks out of it and goes "and I'm getting fucking tired."
    The shift is so perfect, so spicy and beautiful.
    It's just another aspect placed on women she is breaking away from - that swearing and speaking aggressively or speaking out in general is not seen as "lady-like."
    This woman is an absolute genius.

    • @sophialakota
      @sophialakota Рік тому +9

      🙌

    • @Anastasi.R
      @Anastasi.R Рік тому +18

      Wow, such a nice observation ❤

    • @FishieFishFosh
      @FishieFishFosh Рік тому +36

      English teachers having a feast on this song oml

    • @xPrincessGarnetXVI
      @xPrincessGarnetXVI Рік тому +10

      @@FishieFishFosh my thoughts exactly lol

    • @briar2603
      @briar2603 Рік тому +17

      also at the end she breaks out of it too!! honestly it was kinda funny to hear at first because of all this amazing poetry and metaphors and stuff and then suddenly "24/7 baby machine" but it really makes sense if you analyze it. she seems so done at the end.

  • @im.feral.rn.
    @im.feral.rn. Місяць тому +106

    People listening to this song and losing hope, do not give up. Do not go quietly, do not make them comfortable with our compliance. Be loud, be proud and fight like our community has for hundreds of years for a bright future 🇺🇲💙❤️

  • @OKHolly
    @OKHolly Рік тому +3696

    I can't get over the line "You weaponize incompetence...it's dominance under guise." I never thought of it that way before, but men feigning incompetence truly is just another way to control women. It's so insidious and blows my mind.

    • @tima7814
      @tima7814 Рік тому +179

      it's very calculated but at the same time it's so obvious, it makes you think of something a toddler would come up with. speaks to the amount of emotional maturity men are accepted to have vs. what women are beholden too.

    • @paigelarrabee3143
      @paigelarrabee3143 Рік тому +57

      It can also be interpreted as him weaponizing her perceived incompetence to do things so only he can do it and so she has to rely on him.

    • @Irisicaaa
      @Irisicaaa Рік тому +38

      I've seen it in my father a million times

    • @amandavlam9656
      @amandavlam9656 Рік тому +24

      I think it's important to note it's "you weaponize false incompetence" too because everyone involved knows it's an act and is just supposed to go along with it

    • @salaahkhayr2398
      @salaahkhayr2398 Рік тому +4

      Military, blue collar jobs are saying hello. Oh damn women have it so sooo bad lol.

  • @itswhatever5043
    @itswhatever5043 Рік тому +3746

    I love the line “Apologies for my tongue, but never yours” because women are expected to be quiet and submissive, not loud and outspoken like men. But the line also sounds like it could be “Apologies from my tongue” as women feel like they have to apologize for every little thing while men get a free pass. Simply amazing lyrics.

    • @amyr9909
      @amyr9909 Рік тому +73

      This song has so many lines that hit you like a sack of bricks that it's easy to miss some of them like this one here. Thank you for pointing it out.

    • @iicriss5648
      @iicriss5648 Рік тому +6

      !!!

    • @KolyaUrtz
      @KolyaUrtz Рік тому +4

      Too bad it's completely disconnected from reality

    • @girlgamer6678
      @girlgamer6678 Рік тому +82

      ​@shizotericar4524 dude, it's absolutely a thing. By all means my dad isn't abusive, at least not to me and it's not like he yells at or beats my mom but my dad's always asking for the littlest things and when he doesn't get that he sorta makes a fuss, my mom apologises for the smallest shit and can't talk back to him without being silenced, demeaned or ignored. It's not like he's the worker and she just takes care if the house, neither. She works more hours than him and makes more money, and he does pretty much nothing either than work a couple hours, does manual labor and does the taxes sometimes. Like I appreciate him and love him, he's a good guy, does what he can and is a caring father but women are absolutely silenced and have to apologize for speaking.

    • @mishidesu
      @mishidesu Рік тому +49

      @@KolyaUrtz Probably from yours but your reality is not everyone's reality.

  • @shreyachoudhary3378
    @shreyachoudhary3378 Рік тому +7276

    In my culture, traditionally men are the ones who eat first even though the women in the family are the ones who slaved away at the kitchen to prepare the food for everyone. The way that she has to wait for the guy to eat first reminds me of that. It is also symbolic of how even though women are the ones working so hard, the fruits of labor like say, opportunities are grabbed by men first while women always have barriers stopping them. Women always get the left over. Such a powerful depiction.

    • @shreyachoudhary3378
      @shreyachoudhary3378 Рік тому +70

      @@jooniesbonsai4064 i'm not from India but I understand what you mean

    • @sarcasticallyrearranged
      @sarcasticallyrearranged Рік тому +287

      Men haven’t been out hunting for a very long time and don’t need to be served first for any reason unless their arms are broken!

    • @axolotl_aristotle
      @axolotl_aristotle Рік тому +10

      Which country are you from?

    • @cloydxx
      @cloydxx Рік тому +7

      What culture is that

    • @liliesandroses6323
      @liliesandroses6323 Рік тому +93

      In my country there is a saying that the cooker would eat the smoke( the one it's produced during the cooking process). Generally in the past that was the rule first person that was eating was a husband, then children and last things that were left were left for mother

  • @thecunningravenclaw2231
    @thecunningravenclaw2231 Місяць тому +47

    Wow, my blood is burning as i hear this, the female rage of all the mothers and daughters in my family

    • @MateuszMałkowski-h1r
      @MateuszMałkowski-h1r Місяць тому +6

      Your great grandmother did not die for you to be a childless cat lady

  • @awk-wordwriter7179
    @awk-wordwriter7179 Рік тому +5644

    The ending of this gives me chills. I remember my mother and her bf locking up the pantry and being the only sibling who had a key. My mother was never home or when she was she'd lock herself in her room. Her bf was no help. So I had to cook for a household of five. Always serving myself last. My brothers yelling at me and throwing tantrums because they wanted snack food as opposed to the meal I had just slaved over. I remember having it drilled into me that it was my job to watch my younger brothers. That girls mature slower. That men have needs, so I shouldn't be so harsh. I remember staying home from events to make sure my brothers ate. Being told it was my fault if the family was ripped apart. My mother to this day will claim that I was never a problem child, but when I tell her I was suffering silently she plays the victim. I remember my church wanting me at their private school, but not my brothers. Because I was a meek obedient young "woman" and they were "rowdy boys"
    When this character served herself, not caring for manners, just for her hunger, I felt that. She saw the fruits of her labour as her own and decided to reap the benefits, to take care of herself first. Before fleeing this one sided, one way, relationship that did nothing but take and take.
    This song captures the pain of being viewed as nothing more than someone's mother, wife, daughter etc... As well as the release you feel when you realize you are so much more than that.

    • @Tiana.r1
      @Tiana.r1 Рік тому +126

      I am so sorry you had to go through that. You're so unbelieveable strong and brave I really hope you're doing okay and got the help you needed! Please take care of yourself and stay safe!

    • @deanndrakidd
      @deanndrakidd Рік тому

      Girls mature faster than boys (biologically and mentally- science backs this up)...... oof I'm so sorry that you grew up dealing with that load of rot

    • @christyanarose
      @christyanarose Рік тому +32

      I am sorry u had to go through that... Wow... Love to you. ❤❤❤ ❤️❤️❤️ and I think the artist has succeeded ...

    • @YourMindinBloom
      @YourMindinBloom Рік тому +15

      hugs for you

    • @-N-Y-M-P-H-O-L-O-G-Y-
      @-N-Y-M-P-H-O-L-O-G-Y- Рік тому +10

      Hugs!

  • @lucreziabenelli4521
    @lucreziabenelli4521 Рік тому +4627

    This song is like 1000 times better than I could’ve ever imagined. It really captures the feeling of being a woman during all History. It has such feminine rage that we can all feel it through the screen

    • @ilsedevries2529
      @ilsedevries2529 Рік тому +44

      Have you heard her song 'fruits' ? It is also a lot of femine rage combined with witch vibes

    • @lucreziabenelli4521
      @lucreziabenelli4521 Рік тому +21

      @@ilsedevries2529 I actually did. Thanks to TikTok I did a tour of all her music, and I’m utterly in love with “fruits”. But thank you anyway for the suggestion ☺️

    • @aceonmaces_dolphins
      @aceonmaces_dolphins Рік тому +25

      I totally agree and I also want to point out to support your statement that when she's eating the pomegranate, it splatters and it stains her fingers and chin. It resembles blood and the eaten pomegranate bears a scary resemblance to organs. I think that part really exemplifies the female rage that the video is projecting where she's so angry from the mistreatment that her husband shows her and that's a murder stare if I've ever seen one.

    • @lucreziabenelli4521
      @lucreziabenelli4521 Рік тому +10

      @@aceonmaces_dolphins Yes, I totally see what you’re saying. I also loved that she seemed to enjoy eating the pomegranate, and with that regain the power she lost while with him, and “freaking him out”

    • @damepasty9203
      @damepasty9203 Рік тому +4

      ​@@lucreziabenelli4521 I have heard that the fruit that Eve actually ate that got her and Adam kicked out of the garden of Eden was mistranslated as an apple. They say it was more likely a pomegranate.

  • @karanhdream
    @karanhdream Рік тому +7329

    The pomegranate symbolism is powerful. This fruit represent fertility, marriage and desire but it can also represent death and feminine independence.

    • @ashleyspeirs1100
      @ashleyspeirs1100 Рік тому +263

      Yes! I see it as her eating her own six seeds. She’s committing to herself which is how she can disappear. She’s committed to her world. English teachers are gonna have a time with this! Haha

    • @Letstalkforever
      @Letstalkforever Рік тому +109

      ​@@ashleyspeirs1100oh for sure. " what is the symbolism behind the fruit? How was used it and what can you tell the artist is trying to convey. Write your response in 700-1000 words paper. Must use citations, MLA or APA 7th only." 😂

    • @amvperson
      @amvperson Рік тому +129

      I think it’s also a representation of Persephone and Hades, the Greek story. Persephone was forced to go down to the underworld. She was kidnapped by Hades. She performed a hunger strike to protest the kidnapping, but she found some pomegranate seeds and she was so hungry she ate them - In the video, Paris is very hungry and eats them quickly. That’s how Persephone ate the pomegranate seeds - and she ate about 4 to 6 so I think it’s a representation of being unknowingly forced to be there. It’s like your stuck in “Hades” (The Greek name for Hell).
      I also love the line:
      “It’s not an act of love, if you make her.”
      I think people often overlook the fact that you can be raped by your partner (gender neutral on purpose). In the song “Leave Luanne”, Luanne - a married woman - gets raped by her husband. Being married doesn’t mean that all s3x with your partner is 100 percent consensual.

    • @izziemoss8262
      @izziemoss8262 Рік тому +27

      Also thought to actually be the forbidden fruit from 'the garden of eden' instead of the apple.

    • @phoney2627
      @phoney2627 Рік тому +46

      ​@@amvpersonThere's another version of the Persephone and Hades story where Hades literally forces the seeds down her throat which would fit the theme of this song better imo. Also you left out the part that in greek mythology if you eat anything in the underworld it means you have to stay there, so that was why she had to be there for the half of every year even after being saved.

  • @zm2mad9
    @zm2mad9 Місяць тому +136

    This is so relevant now

  • @AppreciativeViewer
    @AppreciativeViewer Рік тому +4694

    These lyrics dig to every woman's core. Therapist, mother, maid, nymph, virgin, nurse, servant, baby machine, an appendage or accessory to someone else's life and dreams. Women are expected to be selfless and do so much "labor" without it even being regarded as such. Why do you suppose self-indulgence and independence are so sought after? Why is it a high bar to want a partner, but not want to become their mother?

    • @jooniesbonsai4064
      @jooniesbonsai4064 Рік тому +158

      And the worse thing is that they even get praised for being selfless when they should have never given up those things in the first place, which even encourages this kind of behaviour, idk if i should say this but it's better to be selfish in this case

    • @untitledgaming9081
      @untitledgaming9081 Рік тому +3

      @@jooniesbonsai4064 to an extent because we don’t want people stealing from their lover just to buy stuff for themselves. So maybe a little selfish but not full on narcissistic

    • @sarcasticallyrearranged
      @sarcasticallyrearranged Рік тому

      untitled gaming
      What in the hell are you on about?
      Stay on topic because you’re babbling about someone stealing from their lover?

    • @SpiritualBabydoll
      @SpiritualBabydoll Рік тому +5

      Correct

    • @Firsona
      @Firsona Рік тому +57

      @@untitledgaming9081 I think you missed the point. It's not as much about materiel things, though that's a part of it. No one is saying you should use someone. What we're saying is culturally we were taught that we should not even want to have time or space or things for ourselves. We should be happy to support someone else our entire life.

  • @kiterafrey
    @kiterafrey 4 місяці тому +2511

    Even if the man you choose isn't like this, EVERY woman feels this song to their core. If not our lovers - our fathers, our society, our religion...all crashing in on us.

    • @katzikat4669
      @katzikat4669 4 місяці тому +21

      same. If I went back to evangilism and opened a church, it would be an Asherahn church.
      The sermons would happen in a garden that is enclosed by the building itself. There would be gender neutral sermons at morning, that would just say the cookie cutter stuff from other sermons, but then at afternoon, there would be sermons for women only where women are taught how to survive and thrive in the world we live in, and how to make sure they know their role as the ones who pick which man gets to procreate and which man doesn't. And the teachings would be all about the divine feminine.
      For the afternoon sermons, there would be a waiting area for the men where they can watch footbal and eat cake until their women are done with the women only sermon.
      And then there would be a safe space for women only.

    • @marshahawk2293
      @marshahawk2293 4 місяці тому +16

      Then they want to force a JD Vance on us? I think not!

    • @conniehowell-yg1hb
      @conniehowell-yg1hb 3 місяці тому +7

      vote blue

    • @earliemariaknuckles9219
      @earliemariaknuckles9219 3 місяці тому +13

      Even as a single mum, you still feel this weight.

    • @HolgerDanske
      @HolgerDanske 3 місяці тому

      Good thing there's never a single expectation on men.

  • @imhere9034
    @imhere9034 Рік тому +24793

    I’m so glad it’s 4 minutes long. Most people create tiktok hype for just 2 minute songs but this was just beautiful.

    • @redmasquerade13
      @redmasquerade13 Рік тому +125

      Came here to say this!!

    • @drendraleigh4722
      @drendraleigh4722 Рік тому +693

      It's 4 minutes and somehow I still think it's too short so I listen on repeat

    • @oliverxhmll
      @oliverxhmll Рік тому +212

      listen to her other songs. I had no doubt it'd be good cause she's actually a talented musician

    • @Sarah-vi8px
      @Sarah-vi8px Рік тому +239

      It's so refreshing seeing a song that's even better whole than just its viral tiktok hook

    • @soulmana1010
      @soulmana1010 Рік тому +105

      the people who make the song arent the same that "create" tiktok hype, a single person doesnt have control on how popular something they post will be. i'm glad y'all arent dissapointed, but i hope you dont give other indenpendant artists a hard time when their song preview doesnt live up to the hype they have no control over

  • @mistygamer6432
    @mistygamer6432 Місяць тому +61

    I needed to come back to this today

  • @lizxu322
    @lizxu322 5 місяців тому +2070

    The fact that she was most likely escaping an abusive father herself and so latched onto a 'saviour'...she realised her daughter would repeat her life if she isnt too careful. Its cyclical.

    • @ingrid5944
      @ingrid5944 2 місяці тому +37

      I was treated that way, my mother was as well and I was almost trapped doing the same thing being in a relationship with a man who wanted me to be his prisoner. It's like a spell we must break. It's so hard. I don't want to have a daughter to make her live like this. I MUST break the cycle.

    • @HalasterBlackCloak-u2w
      @HalasterBlackCloak-u2w Місяць тому +1

      God is your saviour. Its a cycle because even though its unfair it does result in a lot of children which is the deal with the abrahamic faiths. You want something more though. You want to be like your father im heaven to get in touch with your divinity. To be your own person. Old men give quests. Quit your stupid job and go on the quest. The quest to find god.

    • @mettamorph4523
      @mettamorph4523 Місяць тому +12

      So many women get married to escape the parental home, only to end up in a different kind of prison.

  • @AnantyaV
    @AnantyaV Рік тому +36723

    My grandma gave birth to 17 children, 10 survived WWII, she did all the work, was a wonderful chef, seperated from her husband, an abusive alcoholic who was busy with a prostitute literally whilst she was in labour giving birth. She was shunned by her society, called a whore because she left her husband. This, grandma, is for you ❤

    • @slavicpower7709
      @slavicpower7709 Рік тому +2415

      Props to your grandma. Praise her strength.

    • @PicassosCat
      @PicassosCat Рік тому +2336

      It's crazy that you bear 17 children of a man and gets called a whore for leaving..
      Times really changed huh?
      We may have our problems but I think we should give ourselves a little bit of credit for how far we've gone.

    • @DavidMusic5885
      @DavidMusic5885 Рік тому +52

      u didnt write this song

    • @fave525
      @fave525 Рік тому +1158

      and yet the society acts like it's women chasing marriage and men running away from it as if it's not men who benefit from it the most

    • @популярнаяодиночкалауна
      @популярнаяодиночкалауна Рік тому +505

      ​@@DavidMusic5885Duh

  • @Kacierepellla
    @Kacierepellla Рік тому +7414

    My mom just left my abusive dad after 37 years of emotional torture, and I am beyond proud of her. I just sent this to her, if you see this mom, I love you!

    • @dont_harsh_my_mellow
      @dont_harsh_my_mellow Рік тому +149

      Congratulations! I’m sure your mother is deserving of better. 🎉

    • @Country--teen
      @Country--teen Рік тому +64

      You GO girl :D happy your out of thay

    • @majasteinchen
      @majasteinchen Рік тому +106

      Hey, Kacies Mom!
      You are not alone! You can be proud of yourself.
      I wish you a lot of strength and love ❤

    • @pcplumx4367
      @pcplumx4367 Рік тому +129

      I'm currently trying to find the strength your mother had

    • @lovematilda
      @lovematilda Рік тому +71

      @@pcplumx4367 i have faith in you!!!

  • @SamSabotage
    @SamSabotage Місяць тому +30

    We will not back down, we will not be silent. If you're reading this, you are POWER, you are LIFE, you are LOVE, and you are TRUTH. The world will not back down. We. Won't. Back. Down.

  • @nonbinaryaugust6587
    @nonbinaryaugust6587 Рік тому +2328

    “It’s not an act of love if you make her.”
    Can we just talk about inclusive this lyric is? It includes women that have survived hundreds of different backgrounds and undergo mass amounts of trauma, bringing it into light in a song that has almost 10 million (as of now) views. Fucking genius.

    • @miyounova
      @miyounova Рік тому +8

      @@thiey439 that particular line though, refers to marital/conjugal rape.

    • @HexagonSun990
      @HexagonSun990 Рік тому +6

      @@thiey439 she wasn't lmao

    • @Stettafire
      @Stettafire Рік тому +9

      ​@@HexagonSun990She deffo was

  • @gwritesss
    @gwritesss Рік тому +3774

    I'm not even a wife yet, not even a girlfriend, but this song took a chainsaw to my soul. Sitting here silently while my rage is simmering for every women going through this.

    • @Michael-st9ky
      @Michael-st9ky Рік тому +6

      No one dares mention what the men go through

    • @cabitsuchild9700
      @cabitsuchild9700 Рік тому +216

      @@Michael-st9ky women aren’t in positions of power to change things for men. But everyone women I know agree things are bad for men too hence this song about Labour I for one would be more than happy to split chores and work full time the main problem being have the choice to do this I’ve met many men who have these picket fence dreams who don’t want their women to have equality- feminism helps men and women

    • @cutmehtwice
      @cutmehtwice Рік тому +274

      @@Michael-st9ky Bro, why should women sing a song for us lmfao 💀. It’s our own fault anyways, since we were the one who created the goofy ahh standards anyway. Stop crying and go make a song if you’re so mad.

    • @drea7421
      @drea7421 Рік тому +189

      ​@@Michael-st9ky bet u never actually mention mens issues unless its to undermine womens😂

    • @strawberrysangria1474
      @strawberrysangria1474 Рік тому +130

      @@Michael-st9ky So, when's your song coming out, or did you want Paris Paloma to do that for you? You make her do too much labour!

  • @egghead_felix
    @egghead_felix Рік тому +4654

    This song is the most perfect representation of female rage I've ever seen. I have chills.

    • @lovemycats2009
      @lovemycats2009 Рік тому +93

      agreed! especially when the little girls are screaming along to the song in the background. gives literal chills

    • @MushroomCloudOfDoom
      @MushroomCloudOfDoom Рік тому +53

      Ditto. Had this on repeat for two days now and I’m ready to start a riot. Feminine rage is such a powerful thing

    • @salaahkhayr2398
      @salaahkhayr2398 Рік тому +5

      Imagine men make one because of military, blue collar jobs, war!!! But hey, men have it so easy damn lol.

    • @l.r.4006
      @l.r.4006 Рік тому +92

      ​@salaah khayr those are seperate issues. this song is specifically about abusive relationships that women get trapped in. How about instead of complaining here, you make your own music?

    • @salaahkhayr2398
      @salaahkhayr2398 Рік тому +6

      @@l.r.4006 I’m pretty sure it’s more about things women are socially associated with more than abuse. Tc

  • @Sincerely_Sally
    @Sincerely_Sally Місяць тому +41

    Disheartening how much women have to suffer but are still so under-appreciated and looked down on. Let's stay strong, ladies. We will definitely prevail!

    • @Spiceodog
      @Spiceodog Місяць тому

      If you like this song , make sure to show up for the debut of “ bears and wolves” by Lilith max

    • @Spiceodog
      @Spiceodog Місяць тому

      If you like this song , make sure to show up for the debut of “ bears and wolves” by Lilith max

  • @dreaming_hearts
    @dreaming_hearts Рік тому +10479

    The fact that the pomegranate is the symbol of Persephone is symbolic. The way she rips it apart. She was trapped in this marriage and now she's destroying it.
    Edit: 3.9k likes? Are you kidding me? Thanks!

    • @SnazzyArcade
      @SnazzyArcade Рік тому +380

      Pomegranates were also the "forbidden fruit" in the garden of eden, not apples.

    • @not-so-obvious_autism777
      @not-so-obvious_autism777 Рік тому +50

      @@SnazzyArcade Oh dang really?! Cool!

    • @SnazzyArcade
      @SnazzyArcade Рік тому +168

      @@not-so-obvious_autism777 Yeah pomegranates are indigenous to the middle east, while apples are from central/east asia.

    • @AmberSpellcraft
      @AmberSpellcraft Рік тому +45

      Hades also loves Pomegranate thats is go to fruit with him.

    • @AmberSpellcraft
      @AmberSpellcraft Рік тому +31

      @@SnazzyArcade No one really knows that cause that story isn't straight forward with that.

  • @MollyKewl
    @MollyKewl Рік тому +5203

    Me: unmarried, child free and financially stable. Relating so hard to this song for some reason and glad to my fore-mothers for giving me a chance to escape the drudgery.

    • @moneypowerglory.
      @moneypowerglory. Рік тому +287

      we broke the wheel, our mothers and us.

    • @aubreyaubrey66699
      @aubreyaubrey66699 Рік тому +5

      Happiness in slavery then?

    • @lexa2310
      @lexa2310 Рік тому +147

      Yeah. If the sufragettes hadnt been so loud and extreme for their time we probably wouldnt have halve the freedom we have now.

    • @lexa2310
      @lexa2310 Рік тому +82

      ​​@@aubreyaubrey66699No. Thats why womens-liberation was such an Important thing.

    • @Abby-gx4qi
      @Abby-gx4qi Рік тому +65

      @@aubreyaubrey66699 what feels like slavery for you may not feel that way for someone else. I'm a housewife and I love it but I totally understand why people wouldn't choose it. Everyone should have a right to choose how they spend their life.

  • @Smulenify
    @Smulenify Рік тому +988

    For some reason this made me think of a Norwegian folktale I haven't heard since I was a child. There is a husband who is always angry and constantly complains about his wife not doing enough at home; so one night the wife offers to switch places the next day, and the husband happily agrees. It goes terrible and the wife eventually comes home to find him stuck upside down in the porridge pot.
    I used to love hearing it as a kid, a grumpy man who gets taught a lesson and all. Now however it leaves a bitter taste in my mouth as I see how deep of an issue it still is today.

    • @jeannedarc8580
      @jeannedarc8580 Рік тому +9

      Do this folktail has a name ?

    • @Smulenify
      @Smulenify Рік тому +73

      @@jeannedarc8580 "Mannen som skulle stelle hjemme" is one of the names, it translates to "the man who was supposed to take care of the home".

    • @jeannedarc8580
      @jeannedarc8580 Рік тому +7

      @@Smulenify Thank you !

    • @ShipperTrash
      @ShipperTrash Рік тому +18

      The most unbeliaveable part is the husband agreeing to try this

    • @boredperson1185
      @boredperson1185 Рік тому +2

      Im not getting married like EVER

  • @manifeststation4740
    @manifeststation4740 Місяць тому +98

    Gives labour a new meaning now. Praying women are there for eachother where sick men are not

    • @Spiceodog
      @Spiceodog Місяць тому +5

      And pray that the good men are there for them too

    • @youssrairene9280
      @youssrairene9280 Місяць тому

      You reminded me of how mom protected my aunt from her abusive husband 😢

  • @MelXBow
    @MelXBow 6 місяців тому +15683

    "Not all men" but every women relate to at least one lyric in this song.

    • @Sibabalo-n5w
      @Sibabalo-n5w 5 місяців тому +421

      I'm 14 turning 15 soon and I can relate to every single fucking lyric in this masterpiece of a song

    • @Krystalized_Python
      @Krystalized_Python 4 місяці тому +47

      "not all men" until it happens to their daughter

    • @marrocovin
      @marrocovin 4 місяці тому +288

      i turned 17 two months ago, and i relate with this song in a different way. mommy issues activate. this song is obviously about domestic abuse, tradwife ideals, and misogyny, but i think personally people who have issues with neglectful yet bossy/heavily controlling parents can also relate heavily to it

    • @haileyanderson6748
      @haileyanderson6748 4 місяці тому +18

      @@marrocovin mm I never saw it that way

    • @Selfcarelover.1410
      @Selfcarelover.1410 4 місяці тому +77

      im 15 relate to every lyric except the baby machine part and ive been able to relate to this since i was 12

  • @catrionathepoet130
    @catrionathepoet130 Рік тому +2184

    There honestly needs to be literature Grammy for lyricism.
    The double meaning for 'so that he never lifts a finger' (while he never does puts the work in/so he doesn't hit me). And for 'it's not an act of love if you make her' referring to working tirelessly to suit him...and exactly what else it sounds like when you remove the context of the previous lyrics.

    • @eibteeda3317
      @eibteeda3317 Рік тому +44

      I thought the line might mean S.A

    • @doggirl.
      @doggirl. Рік тому +78

      @@eibteeda3317the line can mean whatever you interpret, I'm sure this song is meant for every women to find relatability

    • @catrionathepoet130
      @catrionathepoet130 Рік тому +6

      @@eibteeda3317 yes definitely.

    • @catrionathepoet130
      @catrionathepoet130 Рік тому +15

      @@doggirl. 100%, I feel like every woman can relate to at least a line of this song.

    • @whatnow548
      @whatnow548 Рік тому +6

      I'm sure 'never lifts a finger' is only intended to mean 'never has to do anything for himself' and not 'doesn't hit me'. I know this because it's a popular phrase

  • @sevengoeke412
    @sevengoeke412 Рік тому +1165

    Out of all the incredible lyrics in this song, for some reason, "It's not an act of love if you make her" remains hitting the hardest for me.

  • @TribeLover
    @TribeLover Місяць тому +574

    Playing this song after this election and praying for every woman in the US right now. It will be our society, our faiths, our parents, our lovers, and our lives all crashing down on us-be safe, don't let them win.

    • @oe9467
      @oe9467 Місяць тому +2

      scoreboard

    • @motivationalMeli
      @motivationalMeli Місяць тому +18

      Women will be fine.. nothing is going to happen to our rights.

    • @CyanideSunshines
      @CyanideSunshines Місяць тому

      Women are not fine. They're dying. Little girls have gave rape babies . Christianity is being forced into schools. Trans people are being erased. Members of the LGBTQ community have been murdered. People chose their personal feelings over human rights . The world is watching America fall now that a rapist is in charge ​@@motivationalMeli

    • @Microwaved.popcorn
      @Microwaved.popcorn Місяць тому +21

      @@motivationalMelitell that to the protesters in Texas state university and Arizona state university

    • @Spiceodog
      @Spiceodog Місяць тому +1

      At least we aren’t an autocracy. There’s only so much harm he can do , regardless how much he hates you

  • @gabriellakangombe4032
    @gabriellakangombe4032 Рік тому +9757

    "24/7 baby machine" hits hard. I'm a 19 year old Congolese girl who has a large extended family where people tend to marry young and start their family young too. Since I hit 18, most talks about my future have been about motherhood and child-bearing. I took a gap year and got into a good university that I worked hard last year to get into, yet I got hardly any congratulations or tips for how to survive uni. At least, it's very minimal compared to the motherhood tips. I'm tired of being viewed as a baby machine lmfao

    • @auiak7689
      @auiak7689 Рік тому +401

      Everyone expects me to get married and have children someday even tho I definitely do not want to. It sounds pretty horrible to me. I’m going to prove them wrong and stay unmarried with no children. It’s so tiring that I’m expected to be a mother before I even hit 18.

    • @paintmyheartout90
      @paintmyheartout90 Рік тому +281

      Congratulations on getting into school!! 🎉🎉🎉❤

    • @gabriellakangombe4032
      @gabriellakangombe4032 Рік тому +84

      @@paintmyheartout90 Thank you! 💚

    • @solar0wind
      @solar0wind Рік тому +217

      I'm so sorry that you have to go through that. I'm German, and here it's frowned upon to have children before you're 20. It's crazy how different views can be in different cultures. However, we still have pressure on women to have children, but depending on the region and other stuff it just starts in a woman's 20s or 30s.
      In any way, congrats for getting into the university, and good luck and a lot of strength for your future studies🙏 Words from random strangers aren't as impactful as words from people close to you, but until they start giving you the compliments you deserve, I hope this can act as a small substitute😊

    • @gabriellakangombe4032
      @gabriellakangombe4032 Рік тому +50

      @@solar0wind thank you! i appreciate it

  • @eleni00
    @eleni00 Рік тому +3474

    LYRICS:
    Why are you hanging on
    So tight
    To the rope that I’m hanging from
    Off this island
    This was an escape plan
    Carefully timed it
    So let me go
    And dive into the waves below
    Who tends the orchards?
    Who fixes up the gables
    Emotional torture
    From the head of your high table
    Who fetches the water
    From the rocky mountain spring
    And walk back down again
    To feel you words and their sharp sting
    And I’m getting fucking tired
    The capillaries in my eyes are bursting
    If our love died, would that be the worst thing?
    For somebody I thought was my saviour
    You sure make me do a whole lot of labour
    The calloused skin on my hands is cracking
    If our love ended, would that be a bad thing?
    As the silence haunts our bed chamber
    You make me do too much labour
    Apologies from my tongue
    Never yours
    Busy lapping from flowing cup
    And stabbing with your fork
    I know you’re a smart man
    And weaponise
    The false incompetence
    It’s dominance under guise
    If we had a daughter
    I’d watch and could not save her
    The emotional torture
    From the head of your high table
    She’d do what you taught her
    She’d meet the same cruel fate
    So now I’ve gotta run
    So I can undo this mistake
    At least I’ve gotta try
    The capillaries in my eyes are bursting
    If our love died, would that be the worst thing?
    For somebody I thought was my saviour
    You sure make me do a whole lot of labour
    The calloused skin on my hands is cracking
    If our love ended, would that be a bad thing?
    As the silence haunts our bed chamber
    You make me do too much labour
    All day, every day, therapist, mother, maid
    Nymph then virgin, nurse and a servant
    Just an appendage, live to attend him
    So that he never lifts a finger
    24/7 baby machine
    So he can live out his picket fence dreams
    It’s not an act of love if you make her
    You make me do too much labour

  • @drendraleigh4722
    @drendraleigh4722 Рік тому +1895

    I love the imagery of her tearing down the food and gave him a teethy smile, it's all the things woman are not suppose to do. I love the way she acted through the MV, iIt looks just like how many women act when they are so exhausted they couldn't keep on. Silent, questions, and just gone. I love the way the last chorus sounds like the echoing from the woman generations ago and generations to come while you asked him over and over again in the background 'If our love dies would it be the worst thing?' and he sits there looking flustered, angry, and defeated, yet did nothing to comfort the women he supposedly love. I love the use of the table because it reminds me of the things guys like to say ; 'what do you bring to the table?'
    It's almost like we screams with you that 'All of this are mine. My affaction, my emotions, MY LABOUR. MY FOOD, MY TABLE' so you gauge yourself with the love that you decided to take for yourself for the last time before you go.

    • @lilac.2858
      @lilac.2858 Рік тому +21

      Beautiful analysis, this comment was really interesting to read!

    • @luizaferreiradacosta95
      @luizaferreiradacosta95 Рік тому +13

      I love the symbolism of her eating a pomegranate, a symbol for fertility and death in Hades and Persephone's myth

    • @drendraleigh4722
      @drendraleigh4722 Рік тому +4

      ​​@@luizaferreiradacosta95 Yeah, just hammering down how much had been 'taken' from her and her mother(so like, generations of women). Also in the myth what Hades did was not considered 'wrong' at the time since Persephone's father(Zeus) already gave her up, because the women has no say in the matter of marriage. The verse about how a daughter would suffer in the same cycle fits real well here too. Also in the original myth Demeter also was able to save her daughter from an eternity in hades by basically neglecting her 'labour' and stop 'giving' as her role as a goddess should be therefore forced the men's hand to give her back her daughter.

  • @BL..ADDICT..NOONECANSTOPMEEE
    @BL..ADDICT..NOONECANSTOPMEEE Місяць тому +26

    Girl you deserve all the love and support you are getting for this song, this song is the national anthem for female rage! And we all will not quit until every woman is free!

  • @just_resa
    @just_resa Рік тому +2308

    This song reminds me so much of my own family. My mom did EVERYTHING. She got up every morning before everyone else to make breakfast, then she had to wake up my dad, than my sister and me. She prepared our lunch, just for my dad to throw his away at work. She took care of my sister and me, cleaned the house, took care of the garden, cooked etc. And all of this while slowly turning blind, because of an eye disease.
    When my dad came home, he wanted a warm meal, so after a full day of hard work, she had to prepare him something. Sometimes I feel like the only reason he wanted a family, was because it looked good.
    On his days of he was just sitting around while she did everything. In the end, he cheated on her. In our home, while she was on vaccation with my sister and me.
    When he finally left she broke down. After all those years he put her down, he and his parents tried to destroy her after the break up and she had to take strong medication to get back on her feet.
    I personally didin't even realize it when he moved out. He was never there anyways. And now I haven't had contact with him in 9 years (exept for the times I'm forced by family, which I don't count).
    My mom is doing better. She's her own person again. The divorce was the best thing that could have happened to her.
    I look up to her, because I don't know anyone stronger than her. She had a shitty childhood and a bad marriage. But she was always there for me. Even when she was so tired, even when she couln't get up from the sofa because of depression, she was there for my sister and me and faught for us.
    But she deserved so much better. Now as an adult, I'm trying to be there for her. She's fully blind now and I'm trying to support her the best I can. I want her to have a happy life now. She deserves it so, so much.
    But my dad... He can go to the deepest depths of Tartarus for all I care. He tries to be in contact with me and he always plays the victim. But why would I feel sorry for him? Some people tell me, that I shouldn't bee like that, because he's my dad. I never chose him to be my father. And he never was one. A dad should care about his children. I only have one good memory with him and that's it. He was just never there. Different from my wonderful and strong mom.

    • @iheardimnotalive.6054
      @iheardimnotalive.6054 Рік тому +94

      You have a great mom!! Lots of love, girl. We need to support each other now. Women need to stand up for other women. That's how we will come of out of this. By making each other know that you don't need to burn your flame to light up their world. That's Your light. You have full right to it. You shouldn't be expected to give it in the first place.

    • @fakeaubrii
      @fakeaubrii Рік тому +9

    • @chaseykaluha3040
      @chaseykaluha3040 Рік тому +66

      Your story made me cry a lot because I can relate, but I wished my mom had the opportunity to enjoy the rest of her life that was unfortunately taken too soon...
      My dad claims he never wanted to leave us empty handed but his way of showing it was to be able to give a paycheck. He was always emotionally unavailable as a husband and father. He never stood up for us when my older half sister, his other daughter, started stupid drama and spread rumors about us. He actually went along with her lies. Thanks to his racism, I never had friends and was bullied. The last straw was 2016 when he acted like crap against a family. Thanks to his worst racist bullshit, I had to lie low the last 2 years of highschool because I had death threats. People wanted to kill me and my mom because we were also there with my dad but we tried to stop his scandal. He just dropped the ball on my mom and played victim.
      He never cared about her health, never bothered to even ask. He always ignored her and get passive aggressive when he didn't get what he wanted. He only knew to bring problems and disease to her... I distanced myself because I was scared of being treated the same way again just from observing him. Only when he needed help, he remembered my mom.
      Fast forward to the pandemic...my dad was one of those people who thought the virus is "fake". If it wasn't for my mom and I scolding him to take care of his damn self, he would've contaminated us sooner. Unfortunately in late August 2021, he did get contaminated from his job and refused medical care thinking "it was just a cold". My mom already had poor health and got contaminated from him... I had to call emergencies for her to be admitted to the hospital and throughout the whole September...it was her last fight. I miss her so damn much and I was in too much in shock to tell the doctors what really happened while my dad played the victim. He treated me with disrespect and dumped all responsibilities on me to take care of the house, finances, etc. He still gave me shit when I clearly told him I needed to take care of my health because I have scoliosis and throughout 2022, I developed muscle pain that I unfortunately am unable to get checked because I can't afford it and to hell with asking my dad for help.
      He disrespected my boundaries in not wanting contact with my half sister and forced me to spend time with her. My half sister always hated my mom for no reason when she should've questioned our father as to why he left. My dad had the audacity to invite her and her family to my mother's funeral when that was NOT what she wanted. That was the final straw for me and the ultimate betrayal for my mother and I. He tried to tear apart my relationship with my fiance who he begged to move in with us right after my mom passed away to be there for me emotionally. My father apparently never mentioned this detail with any of my relatives (mom's side) and only god knows what bullshit he said about my fiance to my half sister. At least my fiance was man enough to explain what he was going through and asked for my hand with permission. Of course, my fiance wanted to ask my mother for my hand, too, because he respected her a lot. My dad always belittled him just because he was financially broke when all he has done is help him with whatever he asked.
      Fast forward towards the end of 2022...my dad finally wants to act like a father but he can rot in his own guilty conscience and continue to self destruct himself for all I care. A few of my relatives have mentioned that my dad wishes he could open up to me but doesn't know how when in reality he doesn't even ask how I'm doing. He just asks for favors.
      So, I got a new job this January at a financial company and focusing on myself and my fiance. I also got my father a life insurance policy. If I can't beat him, I'll join him but only for my personal interests at this point. If he felt entitled to exploit who he claimed to love, I'll exploit him in return as well and just need to play my cards right. He can go fuck himself. 🤷🏻‍♀️ I'll gladly give away his ashes to my half sister since she and her relatives claim they miss him a lot.
      I unfortunately couldn't have done much because my dad would laugh at my mom who insisted on wanting a divorce before and would tell her "haha, not yet"... I really fucking hate him and can't wait to get a place of my own. I've been taking therapy and doing better lately.
      I'm glad your mom is still by your side and is stronger than ever. Please cherish her. I wish my mother was still her and all I have found are things she gifted to me throughout my childhood and her clothes. Whenever I wear her clothes, it feels like my mother is hugging me. I miss her telling her stories and her teachings. I miss her voice because she was an awesome singer. I miss helping her cook and I make the same recipes to relive those moments... I never had time to grieve in peace until now.

    • @just_resa
      @just_resa Рік тому +16

      @@chaseykaluha3040 Seems like we made each other cry.
      I feel so sorry for your loss. I can't even imagine how this must feel. Loosing my mom would be the worst thing for me. So I can't even imagine what you are going through.
      I hope you can somehow break contact with this awful side if your family. They don't deserve you at all. Your fiance also sounds like an amazing person and I wish you both only the best.

    • @foufoulo._.z
      @foufoulo._.z Рік тому +19

      You see... I recently experienced something similar to this. But he still doesn't know that my mom knows and he keeps trying to manipulate all of us. I'm really sorry for everything that happened to our mothers. They deserve the world

  • @oliviasonell960
    @oliviasonell960 Рік тому +13504

    I love how this isn't about a physically abusive relationship but about how the labour demanded of women by patriarchs kills us.

    • @hassanalkhalaf1115
      @hassanalkhalaf1115 Рік тому +92

      And men don't do labour at all? They're all day up to work and get you the money for your house. Both do equal work yet men don't complain about it. Unless there isn't a physical abusive relationship no need to cry

    • @hassanalkhalaf1115
      @hassanalkhalaf1115 Рік тому

      @@tiana3416 okay how about you calm down a little bit? I'm pro feminism, which is why I enjoyed this song and the message. It's just so lazy and privileged to cry about having to do housework regardless of gender. I call men out who expect their wife to do everything as well. It's just normal once you set up who's going to be the stay at home parent that it's expected from this person to do labour at home while their partner does labour outside.
      Also cut me that reversed "men don't cry" bullshit

    • @user-ed7et3pb4o
      @user-ed7et3pb4o Рік тому +1736

      @@hassanalkhalaf1115 it’s not equal work. There are many, many studies on how it’s not equal work. If it was equal work, it wouldn’t be so common to have men sitting enjoying themselves at every family gathering while the women are slaving in the kitchen. If it was equal work, my mother wouldn’t have to spend her whole Ramadan cooking while fasting to serve the iftar that the men expect, while they waltz in at the last minute after a whole day of doing nothing just to devour the fruits of a whole day’s labour in mere minutes without so much as a thank you. When you say things like that, you are disrespecting your mother.

    • @teaganpoppy
      @teaganpoppy Рік тому +944

      @@hassanalkhalaf1115 Notice how no one agrees with you? Embarrassing.

    • @northernroyal814
      @northernroyal814 Рік тому +684

      @@hassanalkhalaf1115 awww sounds like you’ve never experienced what a woman goes thru 😂

  • @erinlong3963
    @erinlong3963 Рік тому +2532

    I have never in my life been excited for a song to come out! Until now!!!

    • @justpurekhaos
      @justpurekhaos Рік тому +26

      Me too!!! This is the first time I've literally counted down the days for a song release. So hyped!

    • @dliouk
      @dliouk Рік тому +3

      Me too! ❤

    • @georgia9029
      @georgia9029 Рік тому +4

      weve been blessed this month by her and hozier

    • @pamelabrennan5619
      @pamelabrennan5619 Рік тому +1

      @@georgia9029 fact

    • @lilok.d8291
      @lilok.d8291 Рік тому +1

      Same!!!

  • @lau.tizzir
    @lau.tizzir 12 днів тому +24

    I love the blending at 3:30 of all this women joining together at different times and still creating a harmonious melody. It feels like different generations of women but sharing the same experience. It makes me think of my grandmother who had to raise her children alone and be the breadwinner while her husband was busy cheating and starting second families. Or my mother who was mentally and financially abused while also taking care of everything at home and at work, to the point where she had to escape and leave everything behind. Or my friend who after enduring abuse left her partner and is now a single mother. Three different generations, the same pain. That's why this song hits so deep and feels timeless, you could ask a woman from the 15th century or a woman today, and both could see themselves in this lyrics.

  • @eykyra
    @eykyra Рік тому +3431

    I can't get over "the false incompetence is dominance under a guise", it's the most perfect line of these overall brilliant lyrics. It perfectly encapsulates this subtle yet infuriating way that the patriarchal society teaches women to voluntarily assume the responsibility of care giving and housework tasks while men grow up used to having things done for them so they abuse this privilege by expecting their partners to take on the job of their mothers or female caretakers and assume these tasks by default because "they are not as good at them", because they never actually put the effort to learn.

    • @StaceyGray-mj3mj
      @StaceyGray-mj3mj Рік тому +29

      Perfectly said 👍🏻

    • @Llkolii
      @Llkolii Рік тому +55

      My ex weaponised incompetence, I didn’t know what he was doing at the time

    • @Halvale
      @Halvale Рік тому +14

      @@Evija3000it's so funny and kinda ironic, when I have similar experience as you and I'm the one with ADHD. It definitely makes things more difficult but it's no excuse for doing nothing or not trying.

    • @veratrindade5883
      @veratrindade5883 Рік тому +38

      Once I was told I did the doctors appointments for the children because I like it.😂😂😂 who likes making appointments and take care of schedules????

    • @eykyra
      @eykyra Рік тому +47

      @@veratrindade5883 Ah yes nobody talks about the mental workload of organization but that's an entire thing as well. When we have to tell the men what needs to be done when and how and basically carry a schedule on our heads but then they'll go and say they're the ones with the logical thinking and we're too unstable to be in charge.

  • @aesthetic_writer
    @aesthetic_writer Рік тому +6514

    A message to future generations: Don't let this song die

    • @snortsalineoflavender
      @snortsalineoflavender Рік тому +6

      @@donavenbruce9939 why is this important rn?

    • @captainfiri7619
      @captainfiri7619 Рік тому +13

      ​@@donavenbruce9939 how about no

    • @This_is_weird
      @This_is_weird Рік тому +8

      @@donavenbruce9939 okay Bruce of course of course, now let’s get u to bed

    • @donavenbruce9939
      @donavenbruce9939 Рік тому +1

      @@This_is_weird of course of course, you cannot talk to a horse 🐴

    • @strawberrysangria1474
      @strawberrysangria1474 Рік тому +19

      @@donavenbruce9939 What exactly is your value? Big man go make money? Little ladies can do it too, and they can fold their own laundry. If that's all, then you aren't needed.

  • @rini177
    @rini177 8 місяців тому +7654

    the line "therpist, mother, maid, nymph then a virgin, nurse then a servant" stuck out to me a lot, women are expected to be perfect and be everything in one, couldnt have said it better

    • @tiathompson6674
      @tiathompson6674 4 місяці тому

      All while looking like a sex kitten vixen!!!

    • @samanthap
      @samanthap 4 місяці тому +101

      @@musicremixes847 You listen to way to much Andrew Tate.

    • @samanthap
      @samanthap 4 місяці тому

      @@musicremixes847 🤣🤣🤣🤣 "I'm a man I know exactly how women live life and their challenges they face.." right whatever you say asshole

    • @Minus-SL
      @Minus-SL 4 місяці тому +85

      ​@@musicremixes847rage bait 2/10, good job trying tho

    • @samanthap
      @samanthap 4 місяці тому +11

      @@emmaschmidt4774 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @amelie_bird4560
    @amelie_bird4560 Місяць тому +35

    This is the kind of music we need right now !

  • @jennifervan75
    @jennifervan75 Рік тому +5488

    "So he never lifts a finger" has 3 meanings.
    1.That he never does any work.
    2.That he won't abuse her.
    3.That he won't acuse her. (Pointing)

  • @vaevictis3905
    @vaevictis3905 Рік тому +3885

    Maybe It's strange, but as a man I can relate with this song. Actualy its my favorite. Always reminds me to my mother, who raised me alone, and my father who left us for a new family. My mother is a fucking hero.
    Mom! This song for you. 🥰

    • @FabiolaLopez-t1s
      @FabiolaLopez-t1s Рік тому +136

      😊❤I also dedicated it to my mother

    • @solala1312
      @solala1312 Рік тому +274

      I'm glad you are thankful for your mother's sacrifices and that she was a supportive parents to you. I met many men unfortunately who resented their single mothers because of the lack of male role model. not all parents are perfect but I think single mothers have it way harder than single fathers.

    • @SaritaSingh-dx8lv
      @SaritaSingh-dx8lv 11 місяців тому +43

      ❤ yes to loving and strong mothers

    • @todiewasanart9037
      @todiewasanart9037 11 місяців тому +36

      You are a wonderful person 💞💞

    • @hadssecret
      @hadssecret 11 місяців тому +9

  • @nouvjh
    @nouvjh 5 місяців тому +842

    The rage I feel whenever I listen to this song could light up cities

    • @ancientsprout
      @ancientsprout 4 місяці тому +16

      Same! The fire is real. Let it fuel light

    • @matthieulepoittevin
      @matthieulepoittevin 3 місяці тому +2

      well playd , jews

    • @vien111
      @vien111 2 місяці тому +1

      ​@@matthieulepoittevin what does that even mean?

    • @matthieulepoittevin
      @matthieulepoittevin 2 місяці тому +2

      @@vien111 it means that somes managed to put hate into women's heart for no reasons

    • @vien111
      @vien111 2 місяці тому +6

      @@matthieulepoittevin and who put hate into womens heart?

  • @onyx_cat1
    @onyx_cat1 Місяць тому +31

    I’m sobbing right now listening to this song

  • @luxluther436
    @luxluther436 Рік тому +54941

    “So he never lifts a finger” can have two meanings. One, he never does work. Two, so he doesn’t hit.

    • @glengamble526
      @glengamble526 Рік тому +1451

      @@AutumnRose.. nope. Words have meaning. And context.

    • @yashny
      @yashny Рік тому +494

      The first one for sure

    • @queenofbooks9526
      @queenofbooks9526 Рік тому +3396

      or three, so he never points a finger and accuses, aka emotional labour

    • @namtellectjoonal7230
      @namtellectjoonal7230 Рік тому +862

      I didn't make that connection before I read your comment, thank you for the insight

    • @glengamble526
      @glengamble526 Рік тому +40

      @@queenofbooks9526 🙄

  • @sinbingaming4419
    @sinbingaming4419 Рік тому +7586

    I don't know if it was an intentional artistic choice or just how it sounded best to her, but the fact she doesn't necessarily get loud throughout the song is interesting to me. You can hear the anger in her voice, yeah, but she doesn't YELL like I've seen some people want her to. The background voices get louder/cry out at one point, but the singer herself keeps her voice relatively level. Makes me think about how women's anger is meant to be quiet. Palatable. If a woman acts out or yells in anger, she's seen as hysterical, crazy, and over-reactive. She's supposed to keep it to herself, or at least keep it quiet enough that people can ignore it or brush it off. Even when she's digging into the food with her hands, she's still covering her mouth at times before seemingly not caring anymore. Her anger is controlled. She gets FIRM, but not loud, and I find I actually like that better than the idea of her going on a yelling rampage.

    • @anneascott
      @anneascott Рік тому +240

      wow, I didn't realize that. you are absolutely right, perfect explanation. thanks for this comment.

    • @LordOfTheUnderworld
      @LordOfTheUnderworld Рік тому +350

      Its like a post i read once going something like this:
      Its between a human and a werewolf
      Human: "How can you not be angry?"
      Werewolf: "I am angry," the werewolf said. "But unlike you, I dont have the luxury of showing it without being called a monster. Without someone taking it as a sign of proof that i needed to be put down like a rabid dog"
      H: "But everyone gets angry... Thats human."
      W: "Up until the point when you're not human"
      Its an amazing metaphor for anyone that is othered by society. When a woman is angry, shes called intolerant. When a dog bites, its called rabid.
      No one asks why the woman was angry, or why the dog bit. Even though they had all the right to be angry, no one cares.

    • @Coffee-ve8ub
      @Coffee-ve8ub Рік тому +138

      I was thinking of that too how women are expected to stay quieter even when angry or were called sensitive or hysterical. It also made me think of how when people suffer from things like what she talks about in her song and many other things that can cause exhaustion and depression a person can feel something like anger but be too exhausted to really express it or not be able to show it, and to me it sort of sounded like that too with the one tone of voice she uses through the song never changing volume

    • @chesirecat1000
      @chesirecat1000 Рік тому +139

      She goes against what is a common portrayal of female rage: a quiet, seething rage that is even more frightening than the loud one. Because when a woman is quiet, you know that she doesn’t have any ounce of care in her body anymore. Quiet women are the scariest, imo.

    • @hillmidget1326
      @hillmidget1326 Рік тому +9

      Beautiful take on it

  • @DK-gc8od
    @DK-gc8od Рік тому +9021

    Can we just talk about how clever the line, “Nymph then a virgin” is like it just ties in the impossible standards that men have for women so perfectly. They are expected to have the bedroom experience of a nymph and be sexually arousing or seductive without ever actually having had sex before so they can still fulfil their sick fantasies of an untried virgin.
    Like, its all just so frustrating and impossible

    • @antidote351
      @antidote351 Рік тому +470

      Really on point. Nothing really has changed since medieval times, but now we got also entitled polygamists and pornculture and many pick me's enabling this depravity, saying it'd be empowering..

    • @LovesGaming37
      @LovesGaming37 Рік тому +1

      Males want virgins but then pressure women to ha e sex with them and when the woman does, she's called easy and a slut. We women can't ever win. We are damned if we do and damned if we don't

    • @bmoe4609
      @bmoe4609 Рік тому +23

      Yup

    • @bmoe4609
      @bmoe4609 Рік тому

      ​@@antidote351 nothing wrong with porn n im a woman. U gotta find the ones geared for us women on our pleasure

    • @empress.bijira
      @empress.bijira Рік тому +153

      ​@Radfem Tahlia i certainly hope when you mean all misogyny you mean *all* misogyny, which includes the misogyny that targets our trans sisters

  • @rottent33f
    @rottent33f 10 днів тому +15

    thank you for creating this masterpiece. you don’t know how powerful your voice is, you are empowering women all over the world.

    • @rottent33f
      @rottent33f 10 днів тому

      the pomegranate metaphor had me sobbing oh god

    • @datjasminecat
      @datjasminecat 9 днів тому

      @@rottent33f yk your song has a really deep meaning when so many people are talking about the pomegranates plates and mannerisms

  • @detribli8877
    @detribli8877 Рік тому +1818

    "I know you're a smart man and weaponise the false incompetence--It's dominance under guise."
    This line is so powerful.

    • @amouramarie
      @amouramarie Рік тому +93

      That reminds me of a scene from... Agent Carter? Where the guy in the office hands her a stack of folders and goes, "Can you refile these for me? You're just so much better at it," and she says sweetly, "Better at what? The alphabet?"

    • @francessweeney2308
      @francessweeney2308 Рік тому +31

      Agent Carter replied with " What's that Agent Clark, the Alphabet? I can teach the alphabet. Let's start with words beginning with the letter a(he's an asshole in other words)"

    • @kittykeight24
      @kittykeight24 Рік тому +38

      My husband does this alot.... Normally to do with our kids. "well I don't know how". "you just do it better" :/

    • @cry-piddawg
      @cry-piddawg Рік тому +17

      I love this line too. We only communicate this pain because we know men are smart and capable enough to empathize and understand and change. I don’t hate them, if I did, I wouldn’t bother

    • @rosealinescheuerman7183
      @rosealinescheuerman7183 Рік тому +8

      This line hit home. Truly the epitome of my last relationship.

  • @ushijimawakatoshi2106
    @ushijimawakatoshi2106 Рік тому +1210

    The way she set the table so beautifully, and he just made a mess of feasting while she ate nothing. Nothing until she tore open the pomegranate and ate like she'd been starving, while he just smiled like her desperation and rage were funny. The way he didn't move when she left because his ego told him she needed him, when really, she's never going back and he will be lost until he can find some helpless maiden to manipulate. And then she'll set the table, wondering why he never looks at her.

    • @fourleaves6877
      @fourleaves6877 Рік тому +117

      I personally saw the smile as forced. When he hits his glass and she refuses to start cleaning, he begins to look confused and lost. When she looks up with a grin, looking like she's just chewed a man's throat out, his reflexive return-smile and the way it /fades/ hit me as- "Oh, I'm uh, glad you're having fun, but this isn't funny anymore, I don't understand, what are you doing?"
      But I think any interpretation of art is valid, and this is absolutely a masterpiece.

    • @purple66666
      @purple66666 Рік тому +69

      The pomegranate also has hidden meaning. It was believed in ancient times that the pomegranate was the actual "forbidden apple". It's another jont to patriarchy. She's "sinning " by eating it. But the pomegranate also symbolisms the results of hard work and great wealth. She's finaly eating and enjoying the results of her hard work and she's doing it in a way that shows spite for him.

    • @KATT2252
      @KATT2252 Рік тому +30

      @@purple66666 its also an ancient greek symbol for both death and fertility, another great hidden meaning

    • @I_am_Lauren
      @I_am_Lauren Рік тому +28

      @@purple66666 The way she TORE into the pomegranate was such a great detail, coupled with the symbolism of that fruit.

    • @kellythomas2059
      @kellythomas2059 9 місяців тому +8

      I was under the impression that she had to wait for him to finish eating before she was allowed to eat. That's the way it was and still is, in some cultures. Disgusting.

  • @honeychild8525
    @honeychild8525 Рік тому +1187

    The "For somebody I thought was my saviour" rings very true to me - a lot of troubled young women think they have found someone to save them but in fact its just another abuser.

    • @wompusslompus5424
      @wompusslompus5424 Рік тому +46

      This is what I'm paranoid about. Who's to say the next partner isn't the same? Are we running from one prison into the cage of another? What if we don't really know who they are until it's too late?

    • @ravenvalentine9823
      @ravenvalentine9823 Рік тому +28

      ​@@wompusslompus5424I just left a physically abusive relationship and this exact thought crossed my mind. I guess the best choice is to never let anyone put us there in the first place. Never give someone an inch. It hurts, for ourselves and for the people we meet moving forward but walls are required for a stable building. Always have a go bag, never have a combined bank account, pick up a hobby around self defense or a weapon, (archery, HEMA, etc.) and live like minimalist. Makes packing much easier to leave.

    • @elysses
      @elysses 11 місяців тому

      @@wompusslompus5424I was abused as age 15 by my adult neighbor who was 35, I escaped at 18 only to get wrapped up another abusive relationship when I was 19. I left him at age 21 and a year later I met my current boyfriend. I can just tell he wouldn’t lay a finger on me. You can tell by their actions, if they are rude or mean to other people, then they will be to you eventually. If they are aggressive towards others often, they will be aggressive to you. My current boyfriend insulted me once during a fight, he saw how much that hurt me and never did it again. A good person will know right from wrong and choose right, while someone with deep issues will choose the wrong choice often. I guess what I’m saying is, you get this gut feeling, especially if you’ve been in a bad relationship before. If you haven’t, still listen to your gut, if they make you feel bad, worthless or even not good enough, they will continue to do that because they are a broken person, you are not the issue, they are. If your boyfriend hurts your feelings or makes your uncomfortable, be VOCAL about how he made you feel, if he is a good healthy minded person he won’t do it again, if he fights or continues to do it, he will never change and it’ll only get worse

    • @Arun71150
      @Arun71150 10 місяців тому +2

      ‼️‼️

    • @prettytopia
      @prettytopia 7 місяців тому +1

      ​@@wompusslompus5424I've never even been in a relationship and I'm so scared cuz what if he's abusive 😭

  • @ZUTHINA
    @ZUTHINA Місяць тому +30

    One the most powerful and awakening feminine rage songs ever, every piece of lyrics here are so on point. So glad it got pushed to me today so I won't step into another abusive relationship.

  • @l33ki-atsuki83
    @l33ki-atsuki83 Рік тому +817

    I like it when he laughs at first when she crams the pomegranate in her mouth, before losing his smile immediately when he realizes she's serious. 'Humor my silly wife, let her have fun, while she tries to make something of herself, but the second she actually starts to slips from my control...'

    • @tomydismay
      @tomydismay Рік тому +78

      Yessss that's one of my favorite scenes. He captures so much verbal aggression there without saying a word, including an earlier scene where he's eating while staring her down as if to challenge her to say something, to "forget her place" so he can remind her of it... and then she tears into that pomegranate indicating "challenge accepted".
      It's both astonishing and alarming how well Henry Hayward captured this type of toxic behavior from his subtle expressions to his overt disdain towards her resentment and ultimate rejection of the roles she's been fulfilling for him. Enough is enough.

  • @TheCrimsonPope
    @TheCrimsonPope Рік тому +1681

    The line "For somebody I thought was my saviour / You sure make me do a whole lot of labour" sits with me the most, because as women (mostly before Gen Z) we are sold this myth, this "promise" that marriage is the best dream ever, to meet "a prince" plan a wedding, and when you "catch" a husband this is the ultimate win for a woman... but then the reality is a wall of weaponised incompetence and the "dream" is serving and just being a second mother and servant for the man who does not understand any of that OR us as women and they mostly don't even care to try.

    • @aspannas
      @aspannas Рік тому +108

      I realized this very early on as a child seeing how my dad treated my mom like a slave. Most men truly don't view women as people and as their equal which is why they're so fine with letting a woman alone take care of the emotional and domestic load, we're below them according to them.

    • @za685
      @za685 Рік тому +63

      So well put! Women were seriously tricked into thinking that marriage was going to be their biggest accomplishment, they just got trapped honestly

    • @EmilyTotallynotbees
      @EmilyTotallynotbees Рік тому +45

      When I realized I was a lesbian at around 12 I thought that I would never be happy because I would never have a husband, which is so extremely fucked up looking back.

    • @saturnreturn272
      @saturnreturn272 Рік тому +48

      Men think we were born this way and it comes easier to us to cook, clean, and be the primary/sole parent and organiser of all aspects of domestic life. That’s why they have no guilt leaving all these tasks to us. And once we do have children with them they think we will never leave them because single mothers are valued so low by most men. So men and husbands eventually become lazy and women are forced to pick up the extra work at home whilst often working outside the home too. This song is amazing at calling that out.

    • @SuperbFairy
      @SuperbFairy Рік тому +3

      @@saturnreturn272 it's important to bear in mind that as much as you dislike people making assumptions about women as a whole, it looks hypocritical when you generalise an entire gender in response, the opposite of what you were praising

  • @ladyofrillwater
    @ladyofrillwater Рік тому +1414

    Some things I noticed about this video:
    She's well-groomed, well dressed, her hair is done and her makeup beautiful. By contrast, he's dressed down and comparatively slovenly.
    He eats in a messy, brutish way in front of her, tearing at things with his hands despite the beautifully made table setting. Yet when she does the same, he's at first awkward and then irritated.
    He notices she's upset, but doesn't care. It's not until she snaps and is open and blunt and abrasive about it that he responds, and even then he only squirms and refuses to meet her eyes.

    • @untitledgaming9081
      @untitledgaming9081 Рік тому +86

      Here’s another thing to notice. When the camera shows her from the front, she has candles all around her and he has very few candles around him when the camera shows him from the front showing how much she has to do vs how much he has to do

    • @starsilent9961
      @starsilent9961 Рік тому +59

      That last line of the paragraph. When I finally get angry and confront my abuser with the truths and proof of his abhorrent behavior he can never meet my gaze. Like he's ashamed. Good he should be.

    • @Firsona
      @Firsona Рік тому +13

      I've lived this. Supposed to do it all and be perfect through it. Validate, support, comfort, fix. And in the end, he refused to change anything. He doesn't want it different. It's comfortable and pleasant for him. Just enough to quiet you for now..until it can't be quieted any more.

    • @rebecca4096
      @rebecca4096 Рік тому +9

      He poisoned her, his ring is a ring that holds poison. When he is turning it, it shows he is wearing one. He is posieneing the food by reaching across the table. She is conditioned by him and automatically messes with her ring nervously and then he hits the glass and she goes to attended to the table, like she is conditioned to do but instead sits down and eats the food. As soon as she starts eating he stops and hangs his head because he knows what he has done. The camera pans back to her at the end and she is gone because she fell to the floor, poisoned. My husband pointed this out to me because he said he use to have a ring just like it.

    • @sharonagresta-siekerman8601
      @sharonagresta-siekerman8601 Рік тому +2

      ​@@rebecca4096 how could she be poisoned if she ate the pomegranate??

  • @shell_willow_419
    @shell_willow_419 Місяць тому +19

    Coming back to this song today :( We will heal, thank you for this masterpiece