STORY TIME | IS IT WORTH SAVING FOR A BIG WEDDING?
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- Опубліковано 7 вер 2024
- We spend so much time investing in the wedding day and forget to invest in the marriage itself. The question is, is it worth saving for a big wedding… Let’s unpack♥️
#wedding #justmarried #themakhs
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"Your wedding is not an investment, your marriage is." 👏
Me and my husband did that, small intermate wedding with family and close friends, and we were happy. My family tried to guilt-trip us about who they want at the wedding I stood my ground! Only now they like "your wedding was the most stressless wedding they ever did".(I'm the last born).Thanks for sharing this. Big weddings are really not necessary.
Am inspired by you 🙏🏽
Same
I am at a point where I might have to deal with upset family for this. Mostly people I don’t have a relationship with anyway but I refuse to have a wedding with more than 60 guests. The goal is 50 even.
Guys. Lobola is bride-price, not dowry.
Bride-price is an amount the groom pays his bride's family to thank them for raising his wife & showing them he is capable of taking care of a family.
Dowry is assets the bride's father gives to the groom because (in some culture) marriage essentially disinherits the girl from inheriting from the father. So the father gives her (through the groom) her portion of the inheritance while he is still alive. These are also cultures were women typically can't have assets registered in their names
I can save for many things, a big wedding is not one of them 😂 I can't imagine spending so much money for a few hours.
My husband and I had 15 guests at our wedding. The most expensive thing we had that day was my ring.
I would not change anything. No regrets. I still don't dream of a big wedding.
And the pressure from family can be intense, we simply told them that if they want a big wedding, they're more than welcome to pay and we'll pitch on the day.
Great converstation as always❤
You guys are my cheat sheet to having a healthy marriage in the future.
I learned so much from you!
Same sis, same.
I like the part where you say your wedding was Holy Spirit filled 🔥❤️.
Totally agree 👌we are the generation to change things.We are having a small white wedding in 2 months time.The guest list is leaving me with so much guilt because a lot of people didn’t make the cut but the important ones did. It’s the parents that impose, our generation is relaxed.
I tell my friends this all the time. Lobola then court... we can do a big wedding as an anniversary celebration.
I don't even have a potential husband that time 🤣🤣🤣
😂😂 I've been telling myself the same thing and I also don't have a potential husband or any guy pursuing me. The things we tell ourselves 🤣
I had a huge Mahlabiso which was fortunately paid for by my parents and had a intimate signing dinner of 25 guests. Best decision ever!
Even if I want to, I believe I won't know who to leave out. I would personally want everyone there, that's where my joy will come from. I believe it's once in a lifetime event and I want to celebrate with all the pple that I care about. The capacity I might not have it now but I really wish to have a big, joyous one. Don't want to start on debt, but at the same time I want to have everyone there!
I agree so much with what you guys are saying. Currently planning the wedding for later on this year, I have ALWAYS wanted a small intimate wedding but yoh! How do i explain that to our African parents 😰
Same here my sister.Luckily my parent’s friend advised them otherwise
Weee!!!🙆🏾♀️🙆🏾♀️and village weddings are just alot,not structured to say I am catering 100ppl, Africans we dnt understand small weddings🤣🤣🤣I ended up wondering wat is small wedding because I jst ddnt know anymore. But am glad we saved for it,
Listen here, they said these a lot of things they won't or shouldn't understand because, so don't worry or stress much about much explanations 🤭
I got married 2 months ago and soo glad we didn't spend that much.
One thing we agreed on with my partner, is not to start our marriage on a minus and indeed God was faithful.
Y’all are so funny 😂😂😂❤️.the wedding video story killed me .honestly my husband and I regret having a big wedding aswell .not worth it ! However ihv realised that everyone only sees or realises big weddings are a bad idea after actually having them
I had a fairly nice wedding we did spend a few thousands and I seriously don't regret a thing. Because of covid we were only allowed to have a 100 guests which worked on our favour because we had a perfect excuse not to invite a lot of people😅. I am so grateful for my husband because he had been saving for a wedding even before we met. We literally did not owe anything after the wedding. A lot of us black people just rush into getting married without being properly financially stable hence people spend the first few years of their marriage paying wedding debts. So in my own opinion if you can afford a big wedding why not🤷🏾♀️.
27:01 Based on what you’re saying, having bridesmaids is not the issue. The main issue is the type of bride one is. Bridesmaids (and groomsmen), in an ideal context, are very important to the organization of the wedding and important/stressful events on the day of the wedding. The least important aspect about bridesmaids is how they look on the day.
I think in conclusion, we have our priorities twisted, and once we fix that, we save ourselves from a lot of frustration and regrets
That point you guys made about the parents redirecting the money into the marriage really hit home! Loved this episode!
Wow listening to the amount of guest I'm in ore. I'm married for 10 year now. We had 40 guest. Venue was in the yard and the night before my husband and I cooked and prepared our menu. Had a lovely wedding would not change a thing about the day
I love the simplicity. Beautiful and glad to know it worked for you
Mr Makhs reminds me of Tim Ross from the basement podcast,they very much look alike,the wisdom and just his creative side.wonderful installment as always 👏🏻
True 😊
Her laughter it’s so contentious 😂😂😂I love this. God bless you guys
I'm all for not having a white wedding, we put too much final pressure on ourselves, some have engagement parties, lobola, white wedding with a reception. I think this is one of the reasons why marrage rates are so low, I think as long as we satisfy that the Bible defines as marriage we will do of well.
Agreed
Shooo, shem i had the idea of a small wedding for as long as i can remember but now, after hearing this, it's a firm decision because again i am kinda introverted, and i want stability, and if it's really for my happiness just having our family members would give me all the Joy.
Wisdom! Just on time! Was about to put up my daughter for a big wedding 😊 many thanks for this one. You guys never disappoint!
I want as small as 50 guests. It is becoming such a problem that I am willing to even not have one at all. My fiancé and I are funding it alone but the families want it big - this conversation has led to a full year of delay as I don't even feel like planning anything if it won't make me happy. I have never enjoyed parties but all they hear is that we are cheap and don't appreciate our "whole" family - PS. MOSTLY PEOPLE WE NEVER KNEW.
When the topic comes up - I shut it out completely because it has become so boring argh.
This instalment is so powerful. The thing is the society has set a high demand on what weddings should be like and the pressure from parents isn't helping at all.
Things couod be easier when parents let the ones who are getting married decide on what kind of a wedding they would like to have instead of maybe trying to live their lives through their children
I understand that they(parents) would like to see their daughter in a white dress and all but it is still doable at a lesser cost whereby there is a small intimate celebration after the white wedding with those close friends and family.
Many needed to yea this so much, thank you very much for putting it out there The Makhs❤
I find weddings to be like having a graduation the same day you enrol at the university. 🤣🤣🤣🤣 you have no idea what marriage is. Maybe family only as a wedding, then from anniversary year 5 you can have weddings. Just a thought...
This video spoke to me I am 25 turning 26 in a longtime relationship we want to get married honestly for me I would want something small I will fast and pray about it I don’t want to save everything up for a wedding while I can get married even at court and have a celebration with few people
We had a very big 2 day wedding. We don't regret it shame we didn't owe anyone and still had some left for honeymoon. Bare in mind we never saved any money for the wedding and we are firm believers that when we need money God provides always. We not even rich people but we are just living knowing that we have a rich father " Being God ofcos" I personally don't even like money I don't chase it, I don't save it, but I always have it when it's needed regardless of the amount.
Nah yall must be well off if you never saved a penny for the wedding, realistically speaking, and still managed to have a big 2 days wedding
@@madampraises4450 Listen..,when I say God provides, he does. He makes a way where there seems to be no way. That year we were lucky to stumble upon MMM. I won't lie, it did the things that needed to be done : ) because both of us weren't even working at the time.
You guys are obviously well off and it’s not wrong to have a big wedding when there is money. The couple is simply discouraging going into debts because of a wedding.
I'm happy you guys are happy♥️♥️♥️
People needs to do what makes them happy and within their means hle... Pressure ya big weddings etlore bolaya if we don't change our thinking!! Thank you for the informative conversation fam❤️❤️
I totally agree. Times are tough now. I really don't want to be dealing with debt after a wedding day!!!
"You see I'm with Steve Harvey here today"😂💕i truly enjoyed this video and i totally agree.Weddings are Very expensive and it's really not a good idea to start marriage on debt."Your wedding isn't an investment but your marriage it"😭🔥🔥
This was very informative and helpful. I also agree on the brides maids, leave them out 😂
Ooohh hh you have sssooo many friends and family and people you know ---- YOUR PARENTS ARE SSSOOO HAPPY......WoW 😲, I did not know that.......my goodness --- You are AN INSTITUTION - YOU ARE BUILDING ON GODS GROUND --- you are sssooo blessed.....and you bless us --- our viewers tooo .. my goodness I did not know that it is with God's ✋ hands in here in your matrimonial.......Holy Spirit filled....and your bond has become stronger......After all those years, you are still standing .....That is a reeeaaallll wedding 💒 - you have..........that is a traditional wedding.......no wonder your parents are happy......I really did not know this.......you know sssoo many people...BUT in 2023 : THE WORLD 🌎 IS BROKEN......ooohh, ❤️😅 you 2 are so blessed by God .....I am jealous......I want to be blessed too ....apparently -- you have a good 👍 church....APPARENTLY BY GODS HAND YOU ARE SUPPOSED AND LUCKY ENOUGH TO HAVE A TRADITIONAL CELEBRATION WITH THE COMMUNITY........this is ssoooo rare.......
😂😂aahh me guys if I had money,I would have went all out. Because we finish school,start working, start bettering parents homes because it's tough you can't jst leave them struggling,help siblings. You even leave South Africa to go try life out there, aahhh listen if I could afford to jst be happy I would go all out 😂😂😂,nd still be happy, BUT NOT ON DEBT.
This was very informative, thank you so much fam! I really don't want an "event" of a wedding, but I can feel the behind the scenes pressure from the folks. Yohhh!
This video is sooooooo Powerful......!!!!! Maybe have a series of some sort on this topic in the black Context....!!!!! 🥰
A much needed conversation. One traditional even is enough.
Event*
This is actually a good topic to talk about
Your videos are always insightful and packed with lots of wisdom👏👏
Y'all are just Goals honestly 🔥🔥 to God be all the glory. I have learned
Loved this so much and I totally agree, marriage investment over wedding spend always! My husband and I chose this path and we're quite content💃🏾. Thank you for bringing up this conversation, it's very important 🙌🏽
I agree with Phetola, let's get rid of bridesmaids.
This is such an important conversation tou guys brought up🤔 I remember feeling like there's something missing in my marriage and the weight on my shoulders cos we didn't have a whiye wedding and ke we were almost not recognised bcos we had a small traditional celebration. The pressure was just too much and a year later we went our separate ways. The defining moment for me was when he said "I'm not going against my family's wishes" , my heart droped sana and I felt alone and somehow in a war zone🙆♀️
😢 Askies 💔
Ahh guys this was so beautiful!! Literally agree with every single thing ya'll said!! Such wise words that so many people can take from. Thank you guys for sharing your story with us. So much love for you guys ❤
Awesome topic n info. On the video, the hands movement from madam are taking away from the content...
The Makhs energy for me, Aaaahhhh what a wonderful installment and insights 👌🏽👌🏽👌🏽👌🏽👌🏽👌🏽
You guys are just a vibe!😂 love this instalment!
The parents are the main ones we try to impress actually! They are the ones who want their relatives and friends and coworkers and uncles brothers sisters grandmas invited 😅
I remember Gert then working with Uyanda Mbuli. The boutique they ventured on was Diamond Face Couture.
Bona! Uyanda was that girl, she left no crumbs at all the S.A red carpet events mara le ena girl she fumbled that one bad.
Your dress was beautiful P. I love this episode gems dropped.
Nna I totally agree, mara batswadi are not coming to the party. Mina my thing is if they want to invite their people they can sponsor them themselves.
Wena we are waiting, me I will supply materials😂😂😂😂😂
@@tebalelomarobane8496 plus you have the best materials my friend 😂😂
Ijoooooo wedding e tla go tsenya mo mathateng. We had to repay loans for more than 5 years. Ijoooo🙈
Wehhh. My husband and I only wanted to do court but my family insisted on a small lobola ceremony which they covered. I honestly don’t want a big wedding, unless if we have extra money to play around with 😂😂
Nna ke binile le my husband♥️The brass band was on point 🎺traditional and the white was all about US😁 no train of bridesmaid and groomsmen
This is a very necessary conversation
My husband paid lobola in 2011 and 2015 I we got married in court and have lunch after and to be honest we saved a lot. But then I still wish for a big white wedding. To date we don't have a rings. So somehow I feel like we still owe it to our relatives to do a big wedding
This is extremely timely! Thank you both!!
Hahahah Lerato really happy 😂. What doesn’t kill you makes you Tsonga 😅
I had to stop the video to type this...did you say over 400 people at your white wedding? 😭😭😭 yhu guys!!!
1 tao? Lare 1 taozen? 😭😭😭
I love the reference of the Lord's first miracle, that was deep revelation❤️
Love from Namibia 🇳🇦
This is very true and informative, I remember having a conversation with my best friend about exactly this. Thank you guys hle 💕
This was enlightening. 👍🏽👍🏽
I've always said it that wasting for a day it's not it for me and I was told it's going to be a long ride for me to get married, little do they know it won't be a, WASTE... 🥴
This is very insightful. Thank you guys for sharing.
I think all of us feel this way with the beauty of hindsight 😅 5:50
This was so enlightening…..thank you so much guys
Thank you for this installment I wish I knew all this before getting married. Also how beautiful is the Mrs😍😍😍
Such an important conversation. Took a lot from it
Thank you guys for sharing❤️ Definitely sharing this with my partner.
"Set yourself up to win"
This is so eye opening. I will definitely take that advice
♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️ whenever I get to watch your videos I learn alot wow so much information here ...love love love this family ❤️❤️💯
Must say...so cute in those glasses Mrs M!
Loved this!! ❤️ These are needed conversations.
Hai churches ke di number one 😂😂😂😂 we saw flames at home when we had the wedding because our closest family my mother siblings would say we should do it somewhere a few Kilometres away from home like at beautiful venue with few people. Others were like no we should do it here at home we are going to save so much money. Mind you not ko kasi😂😂😂😂 people come uninvited you would even ask yourself gore who’s this one now Kante they are from another area of your hood and you can’t kick them out 😂😂😂 Kasi people will talk it doesn’t matter if food and alcohol is enough or not they will find something. Also when you do it away from home they will say you are seeing yourself 😂😂😂🤞🏾
My girlfriend wants a big wedding (that time we live hand to mouth, I still stay at home, she doesn't work full time). When I say it's not worth the money, I am deemed as "inconsiderate", "rude" etc.... Why not use the money to build passive income? 🙄🙄🙄
Wow... thanks Dream team so inspired❤️
First one here 🥰 notification 🔔 gang
Wow, thank you so much for this 🙏🏾 so insightful.
Yho guys me I want a big wedding 😭 I even dream about it 😅 Finances aside, I really desire to enjoy that day 🥺❤️
Nna Batswana ba gaetso in Zeerust, use the magadi money for the white wedding.
😂😂😂Pasta and Pastor.. I also thought that Phetola's husband meant Pasta😂😂😂😂😂😂😂I'm dying with laughter
Am I binging your videos again? Yes
Am stuck with you says Lerato🤣🤣
in kenya the practice for the brides maides is that they themselves pay for it.
Lol I love you guys.... Great segment❤️. Loved the energy.
Thank you, i saved your video as a reminder.
Gloryyy,im loving the energy😅
We are within 💃🏾👊🏾
#Bridzillar 🤣😂🤣😂😂😂🤣😂🤣😂🙆🏽♂️ Bathong bamodimo 😂
My question is"Why have an (English, European) wedding in the first place" ???? As a black person you have no business wearing a White dress! Nithanda izinto bantu abamnyama!
It's such a waste of time and money that thing. It's like having 2 traditional weddings. Cz white wedding is also someone's tradition.
We are a #Building generation 💯
Long tym my favourite UA-camrs I love you n happy new year ❤️
Looking good Queen ❤️❤️
I have never been this early😂
23:34 you were influenced hahha
Insightful 🥰🥰thank you
Just love you guys
Excited 🎉🎉🎉
😂😂😂😂😂your expressions are everthing❤❤❤❤😂😂😂😂😂 loved it 🥰
Be blessed ❤️
And then ra ba squeezer in anker zonke bonke 😂😂
Good morning my brother/sister.
I’m a female by the way. I refused to have a wedding whereby everyone wanted it ( family members).
I got lobolad, the following week, went to church for the official “u may kiss the bride”. My mom in law gave a ring she used to wear back den ( it’s a beautiful diamond ring, still in good condition) however, hubby did buy me 1.
Two sisters, at church organised some bites/ snacks to eat, after church. That was our weeding.
Today, we bought a beautiful home, cars paid up, with the wedding money ( in fact we didn’t even have the wedding money).
Do I want a wedding?
Definitely, nah