Perfect marriages or relationships aren't real; they're all unique. What makes one person happy might not make another person happy. But I've discovered that there's always a solution to every problem. Five years ago, my wife and I were almost divorcing because of issues in our marriage, but we managed to work through them. It was a tough time, but we came out stronger.
I genuinely want to find happiness too. I have a partner, and even though we're not together right now, I can't imagine life without her; my love for her is strong. I miss her a lot, and I'm fully committed to bringing her back. We've explored different ways, like therapy, to mend things.
Letting someone you deeply care for go is always difficult, but in my scenario, I was fortunate to have the counsel of a spiritual mentor who preserved the unity of my marriage. Her name is Suzanne Ann Walters.
Thank you for this direction. I'll swiftly seek her out online. I appreciate it. I'm hopeful that following this course of action will yield results for me as well; her absence weighs heavily on my heart.
Parents gave the children too much unislamic freedoms Not enough adult responsibilities Taught or given This generation life is work travel vacations out with friends party celebrate every haram holiday Take pictures for social media Me myself and I worldly gain
If a brother is married back home with no legal marriage in the uk, how does he get an official divorce? He’s separated from ex 2 years and they have children but I worry they are still married islamically. What would you advise as I am divorced to?
@@jua.3348 why would it make tougher? Do we have enough younger generation which will prevent humanity to go extinct? When your hormones are raging and they are full of youthful vitality, its is the best time to produce children
The previous generation failed us. They shared little to no wisdom from their experiences with their mature children. They didn't work on strengthening their own marital bonds and swept their issues under the rug, expecting their children to do the same. They under valued Islamic tarbiyyah and over valued a secular worldly education. They did not verbalize and clarify expectations with their mature children and expected them to be obedient and pious intuitively, despite not providing proper Islamic guidelines and letting public school corrupt their children's worldview.
Words of truth and my heart…the sad and hardest part is, Ok they did what they did how they dealt with, but expecting exactly the same from us, is so hard to deal with. As you have to be in ihsan also with them, may Allah make it easy for all.
They did the best they could with the knowledge that they were passed down about our religion and relationships. You have to forgive them and learn from them at the same time. Let's see how much our kids appreciate us with the vast knowledge we have access to and claim to ingrain in our lives.
@@komalmughal5807 I'm not holding it against them, but it is important to point out where mistakes were made and to correct them. You can't expect someone to play the piano like a pro when all you did was teach them on a basic kids toy piano. The past shapes the future. You can't just wish it away by forgiving. There is double or triple the work needed to correct the mess we are now in.
Shayteen live in the human body!!! All humans have shaytaan Jinns living in our bodies!. Warning Hadith on Satan: Devil runs through people like blood Anas ibn Malik reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Verily, Satan flows through the human being like the flowing of blood.” Source: Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2174 Grade: Sahih (authentic) according to Muslim Shaytaan lives inside humans! All humans have shaytaan living inside their bodies! May Allah protect us from the accursed shaytaan and guide us to the right path ameen (WE MUST SAY! please say this because the shaytaan cant harm us).... Satan Said, "I will Surely Mislead them All," and so God Said, "I will Surely Fill Hell with you, O Iblees, and those of them that Follow you All Together"So Indeed Satan is an Enemy to you, so Take him as an Enemy, he Only Invites you to be with him in the Blaze of Hellfire 43:62, Qur'an [So] never let Satan avert you. Indeed, he is a clear enemy to you - 36:62, Qur'an [For] he had already led astray much of creation from among you, so did you not use reason? 15:39 - 40, Qur'an [For Iblees] said, "My Lord, because You have made me err, I will surely make [disobedience] attractive to them on earth, and I will mislead them all, except Your chosen servants among them." 38:84 - 85, Qur'an [So God] said, "The truth [is My oath], and the truth I say - [that] I will surely fill Hell with you and those of them that follow you all together.".... Hadith on Satan: Devil runs through people like blood Anas ibn Malik reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Verily, Satan flows through the human being like the flowing of blood.” Source: Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2174 Grade: Sahih (authentic) according to Muslim Shaytaan lives inside humans! All humans have shaytaan living inside their bodies! May Allah protect us from the accursed shaytaan and guide us to the right path ameen (WE MUST SAY! please say this because the shaytaan cant harm us)....
It would be good if prior to nikkah there was a short course for couples to understand their roles as a husband/ wife according to shariah & otherwise , also the vetting process needs to be more thorough . It’s also important that there’s a good family support network on both sides if possible. Most importantly both need to fear Allah in how they treat one another both in marriage & divorce if it gets to that .
Shayteen live in the human body!!! All humans have shaytaan Jinns living in our bodies!. Warning Hadith on Satan: Devil runs through people like blood Anas ibn Malik reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Verily, Satan flows through the human being like the flowing of blood.” Source: Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2174 Grade: Sahih (authentic) according to Muslim Shaytaan lives inside humans! All humans have shaytaan living inside their bodies! May Allah protect us from the accursed shaytaan and guide us to the right path ameen (WE MUST SAY! please say this because the shaytaan cant harm us).... Satan Said, "I will Surely Mislead them All," and so God Said, "I will Surely Fill Hell with you, O Iblees, and those of them that Follow you All Together"So Indeed Satan is an Enemy to you, so Take him as an Enemy, he Only Invites you to be with him in the Blaze of Hellfire 43:62, Qur'an [So] never let Satan avert you. Indeed, he is a clear enemy to you - 36:62, Qur'an [For] he had already led astray much of creation from among you, so did you not use reason? 15:39 - 40, Qur'an [For Iblees] said, "My Lord, because You have made me err, I will surely make [disobedience] attractive to them on earth, and I will mislead them all, except Your chosen servants among them." 38:84 - 85, Qur'an [So God] said, "The truth [is My oath], and the truth I say - [that] I will surely fill Hell with you and those of them that follow you all together.".... Hadith on Satan: Devil runs through people like blood Anas ibn Malik reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Verily, Satan flows through the human being like the flowing of blood.” Source: Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2174 Grade: Sahih (authentic) according to Muslim Shaytaan lives inside humans! All humans have shaytaan living inside their bodies! May Allah protect us from the accursed shaytaan and guide us to the right path ameen (WE MUST SAY! please say this because the shaytaan cant harm us)....
There are plenty of classes like this being offered but you find that not alot of men are taking advantage of them. So when you have ppl coming into a marriage with different outlooks of what that marriage should look like then that can cause issues. Another reason that ppl tend not to take advantage of these types of classes is because they have their own way of how they want to conduct their marriage but it lacks the knowledge of Deen specifications.
My husband and i watched Ali Hammuda’s “Married Ever After” series. It’s a great course for those who are interested in getting married, as well as those who are married and those on the brink of divorce.
@@jannah66 Shayteen live in the human body!!! All humans have shaytaan Jinns living in our bodies!. Warning Hadith on Satan: Devil runs through people like blood Anas ibn Malik reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Verily, Satan flows through the human being like the flowing of blood.” Source: Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2174 Grade: Sahih (authentic) according to Muslim Shaytaan lives inside humans! All humans have shaytaan living inside their bodies! May Allah protect us from the accursed shaytaan and guide us to the right path ameen (WE MUST SAY! please say this because the shaytaan cant harm us).... Satan Said, "I will Surely Mislead them All," and so God Said, "I will Surely Fill Hell with you, O Iblees, and those of them that Follow you All Together"So Indeed Satan is an Enemy to you, so Take him as an Enemy, he Only Invites you to be with him in the Blaze of Hellfire 43:62, Qur'an [So] never let Satan avert you. Indeed, he is a clear enemy to you - 36:62, Qur'an [For] he had already led astray much of creation from among you, so did you not use reason? 15:39 - 40, Qur'an [For Iblees] said, "My Lord, because You have made me err, I will surely make [disobedience] attractive to them on earth, and I will mislead them all, except Your chosen servants among them." 38:84 - 85, Qur'an [So God] said, "The truth [is My oath], and the truth I say - [that] I will surely fill Hell with you and those of them that follow you all together.".... Hadith on Satan: Devil runs through people like blood Anas ibn Malik reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Verily, Satan flows through the human being like the flowing of blood.” Source: Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2174 Grade: Sahih (authentic) according to Muslim Shaytaan lives inside humans! All humans have shaytaan living inside their bodies! May Allah protect us from the accursed shaytaan and guide us to the right path ameen (WE MUST SAY! please say this because the shaytaan cant harm us)....
My husband had many times threatened me that he will leave me and that I will end up on the road. I have been reminded many times during our marriage that I have nothing of my own. In the past 1month he threatened me 2times because I refused to abort our baby and I refused to get involved in riba. To all my brothers and sisters, never compromise your akhira for your spouse.
Listen to him , if he signs the deal and he gets in riba it's his will and Allah will question him but don't be opponent to him . Men have future tensions ab9ut kids and their future
The previous generation lived through hell with their spouses and acted like nothing was happening and now they wonder why we aren’t getting married and finding spouses so easily
Exactly. I appreciate alot of what was said, but alot was one sided and black and white. Many women live in suffering because of some of these "beliefs"
Marriage is failing because of social media. One thing people forget there’s always going to see someone you’re better than and see someone better than you. Marry for Allah’s sake and you will be okay! Stay single if you can’t respect your spouse for Allah’s sake!
Never blame social media .In my opinion social media is blessed if we use properly. The thing is people use it in a wrong way specially for comparison which is non sense without knowing the details of one thing and starting comparing. Second it's hard to control our soul or nefs which is the big enemy of our individual.
So true I find myself fighting about social media temporary women with my spouse if you are married or about to be married and you want still talk to other women don't get married
Social media is a contributing factor,but most negligence in the marriage leads people to seek comfort on social media,thus we cannot blame only social media.
Also remember how painful it is to be betrayed etc or hurt by another , put yourself in the shoes of your spouse . In islam compassion and empathy is very important especially towards your spouse .
@@aliamacintyre483 Shayteen live in the human body!!! All humans have shaytaan Jinns living in our bodies!. Warning Hadith on Satan: Devil runs through people like blood Anas ibn Malik reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Verily, Satan flows through the human being like the flowing of blood.” Source: Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2174 Grade: Sahih (authentic) according to Muslim Shaytaan lives inside humans! All humans have shaytaan living inside their bodies! May Allah protect us from the accursed shaytaan and guide us to the right path ameen (WE MUST SAY! please say this because the shaytaan cant harm us).... Satan Said, "I will Surely Mislead them All," and so God Said, "I will Surely Fill Hell with you, O Iblees, and those of them that Follow you All Together"So Indeed Satan is an Enemy to you, so Take him as an Enemy, he Only Invites you to be with him in the Blaze of Hellfire 43:62, Qur'an [So] never let Satan avert you. Indeed, he is a clear enemy to you - 36:62, Qur'an [For] he had already led astray much of creation from among you, so did you not use reason? 15:39 - 40, Qur'an [For Iblees] said, "My Lord, because You have made me err, I will surely make [disobedience] attractive to them on earth, and I will mislead them all, except Your chosen servants among them." 38:84 - 85, Qur'an [So God] said, "The truth [is My oath], and the truth I say - [that] I will surely fill Hell with you and those of them that follow you all together.".... Hadith on Satan: Devil runs through people like blood Anas ibn Malik reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Verily, Satan flows through the human being like the flowing of blood.” Source: Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2174 Grade: Sahih (authentic) according to Muslim Shaytaan lives inside humans! All humans have shaytaan living inside their bodies! May Allah protect us from the accursed shaytaan and guide us to the right path ameen (WE MUST SAY! please say this because the shaytaan cant harm us)....
19:27 I disagree with this - to tell a woman to stick it out isn't really great advice. We have no idea what happens behind closed doors. It is not always the lack of patience of an individual. A lot of women are being mentally abused by their mother-in-law, and mistreated and the husband is unable to stand up, because they are his parents. I do agree we all have our challenges and tests, which we have to go through. We should make lots of du'a and pray as much as we can - However, sometimes just sticking it out only causes further damage to couple itself, as well as to the individual being mistreated. For a woman to be able to deal with it, she needs her spouse to protect her from any injustice - to ensure she has privacy etc. If he fails to do that, she will feel very alone and vulnerable. Moreover, you don't really know what it feels like to move in with inlaws - until you have moved in.. and sometimes it can be extremely uncomfortable and tiring because of their lack of boundaries and respect.
When the information isn't being given then you must go get it. There are many classes, events, books, and videos around this topic but ppl tend to wait for it to fall in their laps.
There are actually courses available from the like of Ebrahim College etc for example the role of Husband and Wife. Should be available online. Also Yasir Qadhi did a series in UA-cam called "Like a garment" which many found helpful.
One thing I learned from past experiences is there ALWAYS two sides to a story. I see wives complaining about their husbands and later found out they are NOT the victims pretending to be…. Also husbands complaining about their wives and later found out that they are the oppressors.
One thing I didn’t necessarily agree on is just say you are open to living with in laws, u do your nikah then move in the after some time u realise actually I’m not comfortable with this, you shouldn’t have just stick it out because that could cause resentment towards the husband and then the marriage breaks down either way.
Always have a contract when you and husband plans to have your own place. Many times husbands fail the promise and say just stay mom and dad is old blah blah blah.
How we are raised affects how committed we are to the marriage. I truly worry for the generations to follow because they are being taught that EVERYTHING can be replaced if you don't like it, and there is very little self-accountability. The hard work starts from the moment a child is born. Teaching our children the importance of discipline and not just the pleasure of consuming.
Satan Said, "I will Surely Mislead them All," and so God Said, "I will Surely Fill Hell with you, O Iblees, and those of them that Follow you All Together"So Indeed Satan is an Enemy to you, so Take him as an Enemy, he Only Invites you to be with him in the Blaze of Hellfire 43:62, Qur'an [So] never let Satan avert you. Indeed, he is a clear enemy to you - 36:62, Qur'an [For] he had already led astray much of creation from among you, so did you not use reason? 15:39 - 40, Qur'an [For Iblees] said, "My Lord, because You have made me err, I will surely make [disobedience] attractive to them on earth, and I will mislead them all, except Your chosen servants among them." 38:84 - 85, Qur'an [So God] said, "The truth [is My oath], and the truth I say - [that] I will surely fill Hell with you and those of them that follow you all together."
It takes two to make the marriage works and honest communcation. Have a talk about expectations and the way of life they're going for. Make time for each other. Sometimes, parents raised mummy's boy and ALL houseworks fall to the wife including picking up dirty laundry from the floor. Not even helping out with the washing up, setting the table, hanging laundry, etc. These may seem minor but it will make a huge difference.
@@MrOsmanu Someone's butthurt... Go hire a maid or run back to Mummy and your Sisters and sister-in-law's. And play on your playstation whilst you're at it lmao.
@@jajazzzzz Desi women have become very masculine, they may seem like they are feminine, but in the household they try to wear the pants and the men take a step back to try to keep the "peace" in the family.
@@MrOsmanu And the grown adult male-babies who can't wash a plate after themselves once in a while or throw the bin out or not drop their clothes around the house or who spend all day out with friends after work and during weekends. And who takes their wives money from her job. Aren't they losers? Or is the thought of oppressing another man's daughter 24/7 just normal to you? No wonder divorce is rife. And why women don't want to get married.
@@MrOsmanu No, not even close. You have a loser attitude. It’s common courtesy to help in the home that you live in. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) helped with house chores. Help doesn’t have to mean primary role. You just help. If that’s your attitude, don’t get married. As most people aren’t putting up with it in this day and age. You want her to do everything plus child rearing, plus a lot of women work anyways due to the cost of living. Go sit down somewhere.
Peer pressure also contributes to it as well with social media, family, and friends urging people to get married early causing some of them to want a WEDDING, not MARRIAGE.
Marriages breakdown because people don’t interview the person they’re marrying. They don’t get character references, They don’t ask important questions like do you pray, what is your aqeeda, what sheikhs do you take your deen from, how many children do you want to have, do you want me to work or stay at home etc. The person might be an abuser in a previous marriage, an adulterous or a weed addict but because you didn’t do your due diligence you won’t know til after the nikkah. Another reason is there is less arrange marriages now. Arrange marriages work better (when the two people are put together for the right reasons) because they tend to be more compatible.
My ex husband is a very good liar even when it was about Deen. Sooo maybe we women should ask for proof. Like: asking to go through his what's app to confirm that he doesn't talk to women. Wish I had done that rather than believing him 😞. People need to be honest from day 1 otherwise how do u want it to work
Marriages fall apart because men have no conditions and women too high. The average woman today believes that she is better than the average man. And as long as it is, nothing will change. No man has to prove anything to a woman. The other way around, yes.
Too many speakers romanticise marriage. The rights/responsibilities need to be taught, practicalities, the limits between husband wife , between the couple and in-laws. You all need to know the rules . Speakers don’t speak enough about this
Marriage is as hard as we make it. Premarital coaching is vital so you can actually make sure your values are aligned, character is recognised, respect and negotiation are key negotiations. Marriage is constantly contracting with each other to make sure you are aligned.
People dont put up with stuff anymore. Women have their own money and are not depended on a man that abuses her and knows she cant go anywhere. Now women can go somewhere.
@@bh_11x there many cases where the problem is in the women’s head. A bit of money and they got ego, they will disobey and disrespect and destroy the marriage because of the ego
After our nikha i found out my husband to be had been talking to other women, trying to meet them i found out after we married through the court it has been really difficult to come to terms with his cheatin he said he put it on the past i am still healing but i feel he never value me even though i was taking care of him for more than two years
He doesn’t value you because you don’t value yourself. Stop doing too much for people and be busy on your own and make yourself happy rather than relying on your husband. Be obedient to him of course but don’t loose yourself
Ummm if your husband committed adultery there is no marriage anymore. Adultery is not accepted in Islam as something to forgive and move on it is one of the major sins I would suggest looking up the punishment for. If you watch the video he mentioned small issues for couples like praying, small arguments that can be resolved. Not adultery.
I find that if a person is knowledgeable of deen and prioritises Allah and has a person who does the same, they can overcome any challenge in sh Allah, but we are weak and can’t all be that consistently good, so we will be as good a couple as we are good muslims and the balance is constantly tipping one way or another. Beware distractions. Pick someone commited to Islam and kind. You will be with who is destined for you.
I don't agree staying with spouses who are not praying at all. Maybe give them some time with showing tham that u are not pleased what they doing. but someone who refuse to praying has no Deen nor does he have Akhlaal prayer is commanded by every prophets and make sure their love families prayed
@@SuperIsadam A non practising spouse can have a negative impact on your own imaan though besides as a practicing Muslim you should want a mother/father to your future children who is a good rolemodel in the deen.
@@ummisra Sure but it doesn't always work that a person marries someone who is diligent or a spouse can have a lull in faith too. Islam isn't only about practicing in ideal situations.
You should have done your due diligence beforehand. Now that yiu married for convenience, you have no right to object. Give impact by example. It is too arrogant of you to think so lowly of your husband. He believes in Tauheed, does not commit shirk and believe in Akhira, he is still Muslim. It is between him and Allah
Marriage is a long term commitment. You should work as a team to try and fulfil each other’s rights, raise your children together and have mercy and compassion for each other. Husband helping wives at home , woman being respectful and not making crazy demands. Communication and trying to understand each other really helps too.
@@MegaFatuma Shayteen live in the human body!!! All humans have shaytaan Jinns living in our bodies!. Warning Hadith on Satan: Devil runs through people like blood Anas ibn Malik reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Verily, Satan flows through the human being like the flowing of blood.” Source: Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2174 Grade: Sahih (authentic) according to Muslim Shaytaan lives inside humans! All humans have shaytaan living inside their bodies! May Allah protect us from the accursed shaytaan and guide us to the right path ameen (WE MUST SAY! please say this because the shaytaan cant harm us).... Satan Said, "I will Surely Mislead them All," and so God Said, "I will Surely Fill Hell with you, O Iblees, and those of them that Follow you All Together"So Indeed Satan is an Enemy to you, so Take him as an Enemy, he Only Invites you to be with him in the Blaze of Hellfire 43:62, Qur'an [So] never let Satan avert you. Indeed, he is a clear enemy to you - 36:62, Qur'an [For] he had already led astray much of creation from among you, so did you not use reason? 15:39 - 40, Qur'an [For Iblees] said, "My Lord, because You have made me err, I will surely make [disobedience] attractive to them on earth, and I will mislead them all, except Your chosen servants among them." 38:84 - 85, Qur'an [So God] said, "The truth [is My oath], and the truth I say - [that] I will surely fill Hell with you and those of them that follow you all together.".... Hadith on Satan: Devil runs through people like blood Anas ibn Malik reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Verily, Satan flows through the human being like the flowing of blood.” Source: Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2174 Grade: Sahih (authentic) according to Muslim Shaytaan lives inside humans! All humans have shaytaan living inside their bodies! May Allah protect us from the accursed shaytaan and guide us to the right path ameen (WE MUST SAY! please say this because the shaytaan cant harm us)....
When Zina is easy and men can buy with ease it correlates with marriages ending. Men too entitled with their physical needs....women also have physical needs too but they cannot do justice to their wife because of zina.
There’s always a third party ! That’s why . It’s not the woman’s fault all the time . Sometimes the men have female friends and ex’s that they still keep in contact with . It’s so sad wallahi .
@@Osmosis3210 oh yeah, women are so pure. they are not human right? the gamma bias is just insane at the moment.you dont know anything.women are are the same as men but i would argue they are worse than men because they take advantage by knowing society is less suspicious towards women.its ok,in akhira we will all see.khalas
1. Men aren’t qawamuna/ masculine anymore, they see women as someone to compete not someone to provide, protect, support, love, etc. 2. They don’t prioritize their marriages but involve their mothers and have no boundaries with their moms 3. Unrealistic Expectations 4. Social media 5. Surrounding yourself with echo chambers 6. Low imaan and taqwa 7. Expecting your spouse to be everything (best friend, therapist, maid, nanny, chef, etc)…your spouse is one person and can’t fit all these roles 8. Unsealed traumas 9. Marrying the wrong incompatible person based on superficial reasons like looks 10. Sihr, ayn, etc.
Every female with a social media in it is influenced by feminism. They want to be independent and adopt masculine traits. Male will compete if you compete with them. Every point you mentioned comes with both gender and more so with females.
Both ways. Women work now, have degrees, and go out socialise. So women bring to the table the same as a man. Women are in really good careers, and muslim guys, on average, aren't doing well career wise. Women won't accept to live on what men bring in, so all that you have listed l has come about because of the new way of the world. Men are lost as a result...women are clueless to this fact. Can't have it both ways.
@@theahmedfahad He should have accepted Allah’s will and not blame his wife for not being able to conceive. As a couple they could have adopted a child.
@@banirahman4926 Right, mash´Allah. The prophet s.a.w.w said that the orphan and him are one (showing with his fingers together). So many men claim to want to adhere to Sunnah by marrying several women, yet NONE of them talk about Sunnah when it comes to orphans or taking on widows from war-zones. After the genocide of men in Bosnia, so many Bosnian sisters were left...nobody ever talked about marrying any of these sisters, some of whom had been raped by Serbian and Croatian militia. These Muslim men can fool the entire Ummah if they want to, but they cannot fool Allah swt.
What sheikhs/scholars should we contact and ask for help? Noone is available. They offer counselling which is often very expensive. Once I called an imam, he was rude and dismissed me.
Been looking for a spouse for almost three years and I’ve got everything in place but demands from girls are silly these days. Please brothers and sisters make dua I find a wife soon In’sha’Allah so my mum can experience some happiness in her life and I can complete my deen. Edit: I said my mother because i just want her to see me get married and I don’t want her to miss it. What’s wrong with that? And no, no one has rejected because of that… I’ve rejected because they’re mostly asking me to move very far and I can’t because of my job.
I am married 21 years. My husband gambled a lot of money his own and mine. After 20 years I had enough I made him move out. It’s very sad as everything else in our life is good, hence why we never broke up before. I’m so tired of it. I couldn’t take it anymore. We still love each other but I am helpless to do anything, except now try and protect myself and my teenage kids.😢
I am indian muslim lived in india and grew in india and moved ro western land 15 years ago . The modern day problem in western muslimsi have seen is high divorce rate bcoz muslims here have lot of free mixing , due to whixh they meet lot of girls and guys , go on dates etc . When things don't work out seek other person , this is how they have multiple relationships before marriage and when they get married , they compare marriage life to dating life ( no duties no bills no worries of families , kids etc) most are not even mature at 30 to get married . They think it's just romantic after marriage and every day honeymoon , Romeo juliet life.
I don't agree. The things you highlighted also happened in your country but undercover. Lots and lots of issues in India and many ppl stay within toxic marriages due to community pressure. Or thinking of what would so and so say
Getting married nowadays is like gambling, ur tossing a coin and statistically is 50/50. Keep Allah above all else, stay off social media, stay away from in-laws and single friends!
It’s so sad to hear this …marriage needs patience and Rahma and compassion for your partner. It takes 2 to build a healthy marriage and 1 to destroy it 💔… May Allah bless you my brothers and sisters with god fearing spouses
@19:35. The brother talks about staying with the in laws. " if you agree" stick it out. I couldn't disagree more. Staying in laws is not sunnah, infact you can say it's almost anti sunnah. The guys is in his 30 but has to ask his parents about making simple decisions about his marriage. How pathetic. We need to ivercom3 this problem. Often staying with families destroy marriages.
Marriage is failing because all men threaten their wives with first divorce and second marriage- what grounds as a women do we stand on when we are bullied by men?
Yet 90 percent divorces are initiated by women , there are always 2 sides to the story but women wants to be victims every time framing men in a negative light
problem with list of questions the bigger the list the more chance you will not get married. Marriage is based on an emotional connection in this day and age we have forgotton islam unfortunately. we will only marry if they are muslim by name to make other friends and family members happy.
Marriage is easy. Unless you are a difficult person then the problem lies with you. Life has ups and downs not just marriage. How do you deal with ups and downs in life? You figure it out?! So why can’t couples figure out their issues rather than calling it a day?
Both sexes in the comments section like to blame each other but in reality, we've both hot our faults and if you're honest with yourself, you will recongise this.
The change in women having economic power is what has result in much divorce, they leave marriages now because they can, whereas before this option wasn't available to them
With economic power comes choice, men had the monopoly when they had all the economic power, now they don't as women have it too, women now can be choosey on who they marry and who they divorce
Even non Muslim divorce lawyers have named this as the reason for a rise in divorce, women work, and they feel their men are no longer bringing anything to the table except additional stress/work.
Being economically independent is not the main reason. If BOTH husband and wives treat each other with respect and mercy, trust me, NO one woupd want to leave. Many women had wealthnin the Prophets time. Divorce was even not uncommon. How many of the Prophets woves were divorcees. Removing womens economic right does NOT solve the root of the problem. It simply stifles it. Believe me, many mothers/grandmothers of those time and even some fathers are the ones pushing theor daughters to be economicaly independent because of what they or theor mothers and sisters suffered. We need mutual respect, understanding and mercy. NEITHER OF US (men and women) are perfect or without blame. The men who abused the power they had over women are partly to blame for the issues today. And the women who go overboard, weponise vulnerability and destroy the reputation and luclihood of men are also to blame. Stopping womens economic power will not resolve either ofnthese issues. It simply puts women at a disadvantage @emma647
A true gentleman gets married A loser abuses a spouse Woman and men can be abusers The rule of thumb is STAY IN LOVE. RESPECT EACHOTHER. DNT NEGLECT EACHOTHER KEEP INLAWS OUT REMEMBER U TOOK AN OATH INFRONT OF ALLAH.FULFILL THAT PROMISE LEAVE UR FRIENDS WHN U MARRY DNT BRING UR OFFICE HOME FAMILY TIME MUST BE OF ALL VALUE CHAT EVERYDAY ABT EACHOTHERS DAY .CONCERNS. AND ALWAYS KEEP THE BEDROOM NO1 ALLAH BLESS ALL OUR MARRIAGES WITH BARAKAH AND KHAIR AMEEN👍🏻🤲🏻💯
People marry potential and go in with assumptions without being direct or making own preferences clear. I believe its to do with social media, movies etc placing unrealistic expectations of how a romantic relationship will be. People havena fantasy and delusion in their head of what someone will be like. Husbands marrying virgins but expect them to be experienced in the bedroom and then wives wanting to be provided more because they see on social media going on holidays, eating out etc. Its fine to do all those things but have to be understanding and considerate of eachother. Give eachother basic rights, learn about rights and obligations even after marriage..also dont get parents involved in your disagreements unless its absolutely necessary and give eachother grace and consideration
Can you talk about the cases you’ve had regarding infidelity? I found that not a lot of material is available on infidelity after marriage in Islam and how we’re supposed to deal with it except by divorce.
Marriages are falling because the current generation saw their parents or the married people around them being unhappy and having to put up with bs, so they're getting divorced. they don't want to get stuck in the same situation.
Agreed - current generation see any conflict as "bs" and do not want to get "stuck" in the "same" situation, hence divorce or not even getting married has become the 1st option. The word "opportunity" to positively overcome any conflict is absent in current generation vocabulary or mindset. Opportunity to learn, to accommodate, to collaborate, to emphatize, to communicate, to support, etc... all missing.
@@othmanabdulkarim4396 I don't mean the struggles that can be overcome with effort in every marriage. What I mean is that men see their wives as property, cheat,don't give them their due, look down on the work they do at home, can't differentiate between their own family and their wife and children, physical and psychological violence, don't listen to their wives' needs, making wife feel bad about wanting money from him, don't take care of the house, see their spending on the house as unnecessary, don't communicate with their children... and I can add more. If you listen to the traumas of this generation without judging them, you will understand that the reason is actually what they have seen around them. There might be people who quit on the first struggle but from my point of view they dont see anything comes after it worth the struggle. Because after all these hardship they gone trough is nothing but obligation in the eyes of their partner.Of course, there are many other reasons for the increase in divorces, but for me, these are the reasons why I don't want to get married. (All those things can be said for woman too)
You can agree to live with in laws but sometimes in laws become abusive and too intrusive. Its not usually as black and white as not keeping your word. Keep your word through how much?
@@IlmFeedPodcast This is the first time I watched your videos. In shaa Allah hoping to watch the episodes which I have missed before. Honestly this episode I have been watching little by little when time permits for almost 4 days. After watching it completely I was happy coz understood the importance of marriage and most importantly how to avoid issues between husband and wife. Jazakumullah khair for the eye opener.
I understand when sisters struggle to find good husbands because all they want is a practicing man who is also reasonably educated and has a stable income, all of which are essential to living a decent life, are within one's control and is their Islamic right i.e. to be provided for. But as someone looking for a suitable groom, I find that brothers say that they want a wife on her deen, but aren't being honest because they'd go for less pious girls who look pretty, which is easy to find and frankly says nothing about the person, because they didn't choose to look good/ bad. If they could be less looks-oriented, more sisters would settle for brothers getting an average income and maybe not focus so much on their careers and extensive college education. Men are failing to provide, which is their Islamic duty, but are blaming sisters for covering less and less when these are the types that the men are actually sparing a second look at. They are failing to realize that stellar looks may be something not every practicing sister could offer esp since she would not be into makeup, lashes etc, most likely stays from the crowds that they associate with (mixed unis, youth clubs, corporate environments etc), and are the shy and inexperieced types that don't appeal to the average man.
Oh sis, I so agree! Except for that whole social media trend word about "trying to be like men" 😕. This ummah talks in a demeaning way about "career women" and "sisters wanting to pursue higher education", but fail to acknowledge and even discuss WHY so many young women choose that route. First of all, seeking education is the RIGHT of every Muslim. Secondly, it may be a trauma response and even a great focus to keep oneself away from the fitnah in society. SO MANY girls grew up in households where they witnessed their mothers being treated abhorrently and forced to stay in toxic marriages, begging the husband to even buy diapers for the babies. These young sisters´ first understanding of life was "Never depend on a man". But now we blame them? 😕For being such amazing survivors, taking responsibility to stand on their own feet, having nearly saved their mothers and even young siblings? They grew up either witnessing violence and dysfunction, or absent brothers who were allowed to live completely Deen-free lives until they either "suddenly remembered Islam" or started becoming "religious" 🤨just because they were ready to settle with a "pure" woman" at 35-40 years of age when they have "played around enough". So then the brothers, after having done X-Y-Z with all kinds of women, now want "a girl from a Pakistani village who knows what loyalty is". 🤔 Pretty rich coming from guys who showed NO loyalty to Allah for 3 decades, despite having a pious mother and pious sisters at home. There are now tonnes of PIOUS, well-educated and down to earth sisters in the West who have never, NEEEEVER got attention from a Muslim man. You´re dead on about that demographic. No man is interested in them, but the official version is "Women are gold diggers, women have too high standards, women have become masculine". 🙄 These sisters grew up not being allowed to even talk to men, and some not even allowed to go the mosque (because "What are you going to do in the mosque? There will be guys there"). They have experienced racism yet held on to their hijaabs (and Deen). They have experienced seeing Muslim men (and their own brothers) openly in relationships with non-Muslim women all around them. They have experienced standing alone when having their hijaabs snatched off, being denied work, being ignored all youth by the ONLY men that they can marry (Muslims) and occasionally being chased by newly arrived uneducated migrants who see them only as a ticket to get a permanent stay in the West (and these men often have a wife already, or a designated cousin waiting back home, or entire families to send back money to even after marriage). Even if a good brother exists, or has started existing recently (meaning, suddenly woken up after doing X-Y-Z...🙄), they usually go for 2 types of women: Either the WHITE convert in the mosque (never a black! 🙅♀), or the imported young 17-year old from back home. Only some rare time does a Muslim man go for a girl from here, and then it´s that "sexy hijaabi" or "sexy Desi girl" who is good, but flaunts her beauty and happily meets him before marriage (minus the physical relations). Nobody wants the highly educated PIOUS Muslimah with glasses, no heels, no tight clothes that show her curves and no makeup skills. There is NOBODY in the Muslim ummah or social media even talking about these sisters. They have always been invisible and will remain so. The only time they are visible is when people want to, excuse me....SHIT on their existence and blame them for traumas that they had no choice in. In face, even their own brothers SHIT on them all life, because getting with some white girls was apparently more important that helping your traumatised mother and sisters at home! 💔 Career woman they say...huh? More like trauma-survivors and champs of the Deen!
@@Khwaab sister, my heart breaks for all the young women who are so precious in the eyes of Allah, who are holding onto their deen in such hard times, but are struggling to find a good husband because men fail to see their value. Most of these “high value” women have simple exteriors and are willing to settle but men are refusing to fulfil their duty to provide and be equally educated etc so women who have been forced to work or made to feel unsafe about depending on a man, like you mentioned. I was also talking about sisters who feel like they also have to be corporate beasts and study all the way until a PhD at mixed universities whilst delaying marriage, which is something that’s not recommended at all, but I understand how circumstances have pushed us to stand on our own feet and adapt to western norms to build better lives. I respect your sentiments sis, may Allah SWT bless you
@@fathima1639 Jazak'Allah khayr respected sister 🫶🏽. Alhamdulillah, I'm not a young woman ☺️, but I know plenty of them. I feel such warmth in my heart from your reply, mash'Allah. A bit further down, I wrote to a commenter about growing up with a violent dad, and he replied "There are always 2 sides to a story". I could tell from the answer that it was a man. The lack of empathy, the total disregard for men's bad behaviour...these are the men supposed to be our Muslim "brothers" today 😞😒. It's no wonder that things are the way they are. I'm just surprised, subhan'Allah, how these sisters don't leave Islam altogether? They carry Islam ALONE in Islamophobic societies, while the sisters in the East just bear the brunt of being treated like 3rd class citizens all life. It's Allah's favour upon these women, that they stand by the Deen despite dead leadership of men and severe racism. Really, Muslim women are made of some other-worldly mettle, mash'Allah!
@@Khwaab I can 100% relate to everything you wrote and I mean everything. All the issues you related are valid but you never see anyone discuss such issues as those dawah bros. I have at least 9 childhood friend who are 38-40 yrs and never been married many carry the trauma of being brought up in violent households. I have noticed a up tick in young moslim girls marrying none moslim men in recent yrs.
The should Go back to Muslim countries if they want their type. It is easier to get pious men in Muslim countries. This is one of the problems that come with living in the west
The point at @17:00 is contrary to what I've heard. I've heard the spirituality and practicing levels should match, otherwise the non practicing one drags the other one down.
Don't ever deny me the fact, that my greatest enemy has got cold feet, then and only then, can you be as racist as you like, file for as many divorces as you like. 😁
Because we are far from the religion of Allah (SW). I never seen 2 true worshiper of Allah (SW) having difficulty staying together. But if you're a dayuuth and she believes Feminism is above the law of Allah (SW) good luck with staying married and having a happy marriage. This is very simple. If you want to be happy in this life and next, then make Allah (SW) happy by following his rules.
That is not correct. I have seen atheists with beautiful marriages with a lot if love and respect.People can pray and do all of the fard but they fail in respect, and showing love.
He just mentioned that the Sahaaba also got divorced and EMPHASISED that, despite great character, some people find out that they simply aren´t compatible. At least listen before commenting....😕.
That won’t be true soon because American economy is going through a reckoning and women won’t be able to pull their full economic weight compared to the fake jobs they have had
The key to a successful marriage and a happy wife is almost too easy 😅: when she is angry and wants to argue, don’t say anything. If she’s wrong in her argument just say, “ interesting point babe, I never thought of it like that or you really have a strong point or you’re right now that I think about it”. Other than that, give her intense intimacy and affection and study her like a college topic and study her body, her mind, her heart, her entire existence! From there your wife will turn into a crack addict for your presence 😂.
JazaakAllahu khayr for this podcast, ustadh Shabbir with Qari Ishaaq. Some very important topics discussed and overall a helpful and beneficial episode الحمد لله.
We Muslim men think that if we get one with hicab, our lives will be easier and we will be saved. Unfortunately, we only have a picture in front of us, but we know nothing about this person's past. Everyone should know that a woman is not programmed for emotions but for survival. And if she's convinced she can't survive with you, you'll be a very, very, very....................... have a very difficult time.
With all due respect , as a religious leader celebrating valentines day is something that really shouldn't be celebrated. I would gave hoped you not mention it or if its mentioned straighten the knowledge for people. Jazakum Allah kheir for all your efforts.
Good discussion, I hope the imamas study a bit of human psychology and also study why most men in the muslim culture are so avoidant and shut down and condescending towards their wives to the extent of causing significant emtoional and psychological abuse that goes on for years breaking the psyche of women and making the marriage stressful and toxic. Some of these ignorant behaviours are mostly coming from men sadly.
Marriage are failing because of what kind of environments ppl grow up in by looking at their own relationship dynamic with family , is how children learn what love respect n islamic duty is , som get good tarbiyyah som dnt , lack of akhlaaq, social media and the world we live in where everything very superficial the way we place value in life n value on ppl based on superficial things.
More! The older men upstairs the 60 also diforced Alot people has believed in an religion rhat wasnt and they didnt married rhe real one rhey really had an past life our are conected with them soul bit more an ecnomic product...
Social media and romantic movies/dramas is putting the bar for relationship so high. People Expect to feel a certain way in a marriage and when it doesnt live up to it they feel like they married wrong
Do you have to make sure if such a simple and expected thing that Staying out late with your friends and not spending time with your family is not an option. Normal people know that their independence will be lost to an extent when they marry
every muslim needs to listen to this, even those who are already married can learn so much from this. we can also pass this down to our children. Allah bless
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Perfect marriages or relationships aren't real; they're all unique. What makes one person happy might not make another person happy. But I've discovered that there's always a solution to every problem. Five years ago, my wife and I were almost divorcing because of issues in our marriage, but we managed to work through them. It was a tough time, but we came out stronger.
I genuinely want to find happiness too. I have a partner, and even though we're not together right now, I can't imagine life without her; my love for her is strong. I miss her a lot, and I'm fully committed to bringing her back. We've explored different ways, like therapy, to mend things.
Letting someone you deeply care for go is always difficult, but in my scenario, I was fortunate to have the counsel of a spiritual mentor who preserved the unity of my marriage. Her name is Suzanne Ann Walters.
Thank you for this direction. I'll swiftly seek her out online. I appreciate it. I'm hopeful that following this course of action will yield results for me as well; her absence weighs heavily on my heart.
Welcome..
If men would just lower their gazes
There needs to be mass research on Muslims, we don’t have enough data on ourselves to have a starting point of where to start solving the problems
Social media..
Big problem
Parents gave the children too much unislamic freedoms
Not enough adult responsibilities
Taught or given
This generation life is work travel vacations out with friends party celebrate every haram holiday
Take pictures for social media
Me myself and I worldly gain
If a brother is married back home with no legal marriage in the uk, how does he get an official divorce? He’s separated from ex 2 years and they have children but I worry they are still married islamically.
What would you advise as I am divorced to?
There is a wisdom behind having kids as soon as you get married.
Could you elaborate? Doesn’t it make things tougher
@@jua.3348 why would it make tougher? Do we have enough younger generation which will prevent humanity to go extinct? When your hormones are raging and they are full of youthful vitality, its is the best time to produce children
@@jua.3348nope
The previous generation failed us. They shared little to no wisdom from their experiences with their mature children. They didn't work on strengthening their own marital bonds and swept their issues under the rug, expecting their children to do the same. They under valued Islamic tarbiyyah and over valued a secular worldly education. They did not verbalize and clarify expectations with their mature children and expected them to be obedient and pious intuitively, despite not providing proper Islamic guidelines and letting public school corrupt their children's worldview.
So what are you going to do about it then? Past is in the past…
Words of truth and my heart…the sad and hardest part is, Ok they did what they did how they dealt with, but expecting exactly the same from us, is so hard to deal with. As you have to be in ihsan also with them, may Allah make it easy for all.
True, but we love them and we owe it to them to be better, thou it's not easy to get past the trauma of the neglect we faced.
They did the best they could with the knowledge that they were passed down about our religion and relationships. You have to forgive them and learn from them at the same time. Let's see how much our kids appreciate us with the vast knowledge we have access to and claim to ingrain in our lives.
@@komalmughal5807 I'm not holding it against them, but it is important to point out where mistakes were made and to correct them. You can't expect someone to play the piano like a pro when all you did was teach them on a basic kids toy piano. The past shapes the future. You can't just wish it away by forgiving. There is double or triple the work needed to correct the mess we are now in.
We need to protect our gaze, men and women
Shayteen live in the human body!!! All humans have shaytaan Jinns living in our bodies!. Warning
Hadith on Satan: Devil runs through people like blood
Anas ibn Malik reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Verily, Satan flows through the human being like the flowing of blood.”
Source: Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2174
Grade: Sahih (authentic) according to Muslim
Shaytaan lives inside humans! All humans have shaytaan living inside their bodies!
May Allah protect us from the accursed shaytaan and guide us to the right path ameen (WE MUST SAY! please say this because the shaytaan cant harm us).... Satan Said, "I will Surely Mislead them All," and so God Said, "I will Surely Fill Hell with you, O Iblees, and those of them that Follow you All Together"So Indeed Satan is an Enemy to you, so Take him as an Enemy, he Only Invites you to be with him in the Blaze of Hellfire
43:62, Qur'an
[So] never let Satan avert you. Indeed, he is a clear enemy to you -
36:62, Qur'an
[For] he had already led astray much of creation from among you, so did you not use reason?
15:39 - 40, Qur'an
[For Iblees] said, "My Lord, because You have made me err, I will surely make [disobedience] attractive to them on earth, and I will mislead them all, except Your chosen servants among them."
38:84 - 85, Qur'an
[So God] said, "The truth [is My oath], and the truth I say - [that] I will surely fill Hell with you and those of them that follow you all together."....
Hadith on Satan: Devil runs through people like blood
Anas ibn Malik reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Verily, Satan flows through the human being like the flowing of blood.”
Source: Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2174
Grade: Sahih (authentic) according to Muslim
Shaytaan lives inside humans! All humans have shaytaan living inside their bodies!
May Allah protect us from the accursed shaytaan and guide us to the right path ameen (WE MUST SAY! please say this because the shaytaan cant harm us)....
May Allah assist us, the things that call to our desires are so much
I struggle with this
@@Ai-nz4bd
Keep making Dua, make Dua
And never giver up, we are all trying to stay afloat
We just keep our gaze low.Simple😊
It would be good if prior to nikkah there was a short course for couples to understand their roles as a husband/ wife according to shariah & otherwise , also the vetting process needs to be more thorough . It’s also important that there’s a good family support network on both sides if possible.
Most importantly both need to fear Allah in how they treat one another both in marriage & divorce if it gets to that .
Shayteen live in the human body!!! All humans have shaytaan Jinns living in our bodies!. Warning
Hadith on Satan: Devil runs through people like blood
Anas ibn Malik reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Verily, Satan flows through the human being like the flowing of blood.”
Source: Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2174
Grade: Sahih (authentic) according to Muslim
Shaytaan lives inside humans! All humans have shaytaan living inside their bodies!
May Allah protect us from the accursed shaytaan and guide us to the right path ameen (WE MUST SAY! please say this because the shaytaan cant harm us).... Satan Said, "I will Surely Mislead them All," and so God Said, "I will Surely Fill Hell with you, O Iblees, and those of them that Follow you All Together"So Indeed Satan is an Enemy to you, so Take him as an Enemy, he Only Invites you to be with him in the Blaze of Hellfire
43:62, Qur'an
[So] never let Satan avert you. Indeed, he is a clear enemy to you -
36:62, Qur'an
[For] he had already led astray much of creation from among you, so did you not use reason?
15:39 - 40, Qur'an
[For Iblees] said, "My Lord, because You have made me err, I will surely make [disobedience] attractive to them on earth, and I will mislead them all, except Your chosen servants among them."
38:84 - 85, Qur'an
[So God] said, "The truth [is My oath], and the truth I say - [that] I will surely fill Hell with you and those of them that follow you all together."....
Hadith on Satan: Devil runs through people like blood
Anas ibn Malik reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Verily, Satan flows through the human being like the flowing of blood.”
Source: Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2174
Grade: Sahih (authentic) according to Muslim
Shaytaan lives inside humans! All humans have shaytaan living inside their bodies!
May Allah protect us from the accursed shaytaan and guide us to the right path ameen (WE MUST SAY! please say this because the shaytaan cant harm us)....
There are plenty of classes like this being offered but you find that not alot of men are taking advantage of them. So when you have ppl coming into a marriage with different outlooks of what that marriage should look like then that can cause issues. Another reason that ppl tend not to take advantage of these types of classes is because they have their own way of how they want to conduct their marriage but it lacks the knowledge of Deen specifications.
My husband and i watched Ali Hammuda’s “Married Ever After” series. It’s a great course for those who are interested in getting married, as well as those who are married and those on the brink of divorce.
@@jannah66 Shayteen live in the human body!!! All humans have shaytaan Jinns living in our bodies!. Warning
Hadith on Satan: Devil runs through people like blood
Anas ibn Malik reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Verily, Satan flows through the human being like the flowing of blood.”
Source: Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2174
Grade: Sahih (authentic) according to Muslim
Shaytaan lives inside humans! All humans have shaytaan living inside their bodies!
May Allah protect us from the accursed shaytaan and guide us to the right path ameen (WE MUST SAY! please say this because the shaytaan cant harm us).... Satan Said, "I will Surely Mislead them All," and so God Said, "I will Surely Fill Hell with you, O Iblees, and those of them that Follow you All Together"So Indeed Satan is an Enemy to you, so Take him as an Enemy, he Only Invites you to be with him in the Blaze of Hellfire
43:62, Qur'an
[So] never let Satan avert you. Indeed, he is a clear enemy to you -
36:62, Qur'an
[For] he had already led astray much of creation from among you, so did you not use reason?
15:39 - 40, Qur'an
[For Iblees] said, "My Lord, because You have made me err, I will surely make [disobedience] attractive to them on earth, and I will mislead them all, except Your chosen servants among them."
38:84 - 85, Qur'an
[So God] said, "The truth [is My oath], and the truth I say - [that] I will surely fill Hell with you and those of them that follow you all together."....
Hadith on Satan: Devil runs through people like blood
Anas ibn Malik reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Verily, Satan flows through the human being like the flowing of blood.”
Source: Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2174
Grade: Sahih (authentic) according to Muslim
Shaytaan lives inside humans! All humans have shaytaan living inside their bodies!
May Allah protect us from the accursed shaytaan and guide us to the right path ameen (WE MUST SAY! please say this because the shaytaan cant harm us)....
So many rights is spouse courses exist, but they don't really help. Men simply come away from it saying "women have to obey the husband"
My husband had many times threatened me that he will leave me and that I will end up on the road. I have been reminded many times during our marriage that I have nothing of my own. In the past 1month he threatened me 2times because I refused to abort our baby and I refused to get involved in riba. To all my brothers and sisters, never compromise your akhira for your spouse.
🫂 Hope you have a beautiful life here and in the hereafter❤
Listen to him , if he signs the deal and he gets in riba it's his will and Allah will question him but don't be opponent to him . Men have future tensions ab9ut kids and their future
@@theahmedfahadlisten to him and abort the baby? Wth
@@theahmedfahadsatanic advice. Islam literally says obey your husband in everything HALAL only.
May ﷲ save you and give you something better. آمين.
The previous generation lived through hell with their spouses and acted like nothing was happening and now they wonder why we aren’t getting married and finding spouses so easily
Exactly. I appreciate alot of what was said, but alot was one sided and black and white. Many women live in suffering because of some of these "beliefs"
It's more than lack of effort in the past vs now. Are you ready for that conversation 😅
It's more than lack of effort in the past vs now. Are you ready for that conversation 😅
It's more than lack of effort in the past vs now. Are you ready for that conversation 😅
It’s not even that. This gen is not even leaving the house. Every avenue to meet a human being is cut off for them just they can do it all by text.
Marriage is failing because of social media. One thing people forget there’s always going to see someone you’re better than and see someone better than you. Marry for Allah’s sake and you will be okay! Stay single if you can’t respect your spouse for Allah’s sake!
👏🏾👏🏾
Never blame social media .In my opinion social media is blessed if we use properly. The thing is people use it in a wrong way specially for comparison which is non sense without knowing the details of one thing and starting comparing. Second it's hard to control our soul or nefs which is the big enemy of our individual.
Social media shows you ppl "better than?" LOL. You must believe everything you read and see on social media. Get out and meet ppl in the real world.
So true I find myself fighting about social media temporary women with my spouse if you are married or about to be married and you want still talk to other women don't get married
Social media is a contributing factor,but most negligence in the marriage leads people to seek comfort on social media,thus we cannot blame only social media.
Marriage is built consistent, rahma ,honesty, And appreciation if you don't have that the marriage is easily broken.
Honesty is very uncommon now days
If you’ve even gotten married, you’re so blessed wallahy. Don’t ruin it. Remember how painful it is to be single and trying to find a partner.
True
Also remember how painful it is to be betrayed etc or hurt by another , put yourself in the shoes of your spouse . In islam compassion and empathy is very important especially towards your spouse .
@@aliamacintyre483 Shayteen live in the human body!!! All humans have shaytaan Jinns living in our bodies!. Warning
Hadith on Satan: Devil runs through people like blood
Anas ibn Malik reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Verily, Satan flows through the human being like the flowing of blood.”
Source: Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2174
Grade: Sahih (authentic) according to Muslim
Shaytaan lives inside humans! All humans have shaytaan living inside their bodies!
May Allah protect us from the accursed shaytaan and guide us to the right path ameen (WE MUST SAY! please say this because the shaytaan cant harm us).... Satan Said, "I will Surely Mislead them All," and so God Said, "I will Surely Fill Hell with you, O Iblees, and those of them that Follow you All Together"So Indeed Satan is an Enemy to you, so Take him as an Enemy, he Only Invites you to be with him in the Blaze of Hellfire
43:62, Qur'an
[So] never let Satan avert you. Indeed, he is a clear enemy to you -
36:62, Qur'an
[For] he had already led astray much of creation from among you, so did you not use reason?
15:39 - 40, Qur'an
[For Iblees] said, "My Lord, because You have made me err, I will surely make [disobedience] attractive to them on earth, and I will mislead them all, except Your chosen servants among them."
38:84 - 85, Qur'an
[So God] said, "The truth [is My oath], and the truth I say - [that] I will surely fill Hell with you and those of them that follow you all together."....
Hadith on Satan: Devil runs through people like blood
Anas ibn Malik reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Verily, Satan flows through the human being like the flowing of blood.”
Source: Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2174
Grade: Sahih (authentic) according to Muslim
Shaytaan lives inside humans! All humans have shaytaan living inside their bodies!
May Allah protect us from the accursed shaytaan and guide us to the right path ameen (WE MUST SAY! please say this because the shaytaan cant harm us)....
It's not that simple. It's better to be single than in an unhappy situation.
It’s not painful to be single when you have self control
19:27 I disagree with this - to tell a woman to stick it out isn't really great advice. We have no idea what happens behind closed doors. It is not always the lack of patience of an individual. A lot of women are being mentally abused by their mother-in-law, and mistreated and the husband is unable to stand up, because they are his parents. I do agree we all have our challenges and tests, which we have to go through. We should make lots of du'a and pray as much as we can - However, sometimes just sticking it out only causes further damage to couple itself, as well as to the individual being mistreated. For a woman to be able to deal with it, she needs her spouse to protect her from any injustice - to ensure she has privacy etc. If he fails to do that, she will feel very alone and vulnerable. Moreover, you don't really know what it feels like to move in with inlaws - until you have moved in.. and sometimes it can be extremely uncomfortable and tiring because of their lack of boundaries and respect.
Marriage is failing because we are never taught how we are supposed to be married
When the information isn't being given then you must go get it. There are many classes, events, books, and videos around this topic but ppl tend to wait for it to fall in their laps.
There are actually courses available from the like of Ebrahim College etc for example the role of Husband and Wife. Should be available online.
Also Yasir Qadhi did a series in UA-cam called "Like a garment" which many found helpful.
One thing I learned from past experiences is there ALWAYS two sides to a story. I see wives complaining about their husbands and later found out they are NOT the victims pretending to be…. Also husbands complaining about their wives and later found out that they are the oppressors.
One thing I didn’t necessarily agree on is just say you are open to living with in laws, u do your nikah then move in the after some time u realise actually I’m not comfortable with this, you shouldn’t have just stick it out because that could cause resentment towards the husband and then the marriage breaks down either way.
That's why communication is very important. Emphatic Communication would work in this case 😊
Always have a contract when you and husband plans to have your own place. Many times husbands fail the promise and say just stay mom and dad is old blah blah blah.
How we are raised affects how committed we are to the marriage. I truly worry for the generations to follow because they are being taught that EVERYTHING can be replaced if you don't like it, and there is very little self-accountability.
The hard work starts from the moment a child is born. Teaching our children the importance of discipline and not just the pleasure of consuming.
Satan Said, "I will Surely Mislead them All," and so God Said, "I will Surely Fill Hell with you, O Iblees, and those of them that Follow you All Together"So Indeed Satan is an Enemy to you, so Take him as an Enemy, he Only Invites you to be with him in the Blaze of Hellfire
43:62, Qur'an
[So] never let Satan avert you. Indeed, he is a clear enemy to you -
36:62, Qur'an
[For] he had already led astray much of creation from among you, so did you not use reason?
15:39 - 40, Qur'an
[For Iblees] said, "My Lord, because You have made me err, I will surely make [disobedience] attractive to them on earth, and I will mislead them all, except Your chosen servants among them."
38:84 - 85, Qur'an
[So God] said, "The truth [is My oath], and the truth I say - [that] I will surely fill Hell with you and those of them that follow you all together."
It takes two to make the marriage works and honest communcation. Have a talk about expectations and the way of life they're going for. Make time for each other.
Sometimes, parents raised mummy's boy and ALL houseworks fall to the wife including picking up dirty laundry from the floor. Not even helping out with the washing up, setting the table, hanging laundry, etc. These may seem minor but it will make a huge difference.
If you can't do the housework on your own, you might be the loser.
@@MrOsmanu Someone's butthurt... Go hire a maid or run back to Mummy and your Sisters and sister-in-law's. And play on your playstation whilst you're at it lmao.
@@jajazzzzz Desi women have become very masculine, they may seem like they are feminine, but in the household they try to wear the pants and the men take a step back to try to keep the "peace" in the family.
@@MrOsmanu And the grown adult male-babies who can't wash a plate after themselves once in a while or throw the bin out or not drop their clothes around the house or who spend all day out with friends after work and during weekends. And who takes their wives money from her job. Aren't they losers? Or is the thought of oppressing another man's daughter 24/7 just normal to you? No wonder divorce is rife. And why women don't want to get married.
@@MrOsmanu
No, not even close. You have a loser attitude. It’s common courtesy to help in the home that you live in. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) helped with house chores. Help doesn’t have to mean primary role. You just help. If that’s your attitude, don’t get married. As most people aren’t putting up with it in this day and age. You want her to do everything plus child rearing, plus a lot of women work anyways due to the cost of living. Go sit down somewhere.
Here (holland) we have Muslim man who want to hook-up, not to get married!!!
Peer pressure also contributes to it as well with social media, family, and friends urging people to get married early causing some of them to want a WEDDING, not MARRIAGE.
Marriages breakdown because people don’t interview the person they’re marrying. They don’t get character references, They don’t ask important questions like do you pray, what is your aqeeda, what sheikhs do you take your deen from, how many children do you want to have, do you want me to work or stay at home etc.
The person might be an abuser in a previous marriage, an adulterous or a weed addict but because you didn’t do your due diligence you won’t know til after the nikkah.
Another reason is there is less arrange marriages now. Arrange marriages work better (when the two people are put together for the right reasons) because they tend to be more compatible.
My ex husband is a very good liar even when it was about Deen. Sooo maybe we women should ask for proof. Like: asking to go through his what's app to confirm that he doesn't talk to women. Wish I had done that rather than believing him 😞. People need to be honest from day 1 otherwise how do u want it to work
Marriages fall apart because men have no conditions and women too high. The average woman today believes that she is better than the average man. And as long as it is, nothing will change. No man has to prove anything to a woman. The other way around, yes.
You probably are as good as him at lying that's why you were both married@@coumba5527
@@coumba5527my ex wife was a lying cheating narcissistic woman who pretended to be Muslim. Be careful out there brothers and sisters
@@coumba5527husbands who commit zina in marriages are the worst wallahi
Too many speakers romanticise marriage. The rights/responsibilities need to be taught, practicalities, the limits between husband wife , between the couple and in-laws. You all need to know the rules . Speakers don’t speak enough about this
Men, if you cannot wven help make the bed, and pick up your own clothes etc, women are not there to be your mommy pick after yourself this is basic
Marriage is as hard as we make it. Premarital coaching is vital so you can actually make sure your values are aligned, character is recognised, respect and negotiation are key negotiations. Marriage is constantly contracting with each other to make sure you are aligned.
People dont put up with stuff anymore. Women have their own money and are not depended on a man that abuses her and knows she cant go anywhere. Now women can go somewhere.
I agree with this. Women know their islamic rights, and men now don't get their way😅
@@lovehadi7233it sounds good but when women have the options to leave, it’s gonna fail obviously
@RIMJANESSOHMALOOG and what should women do: leave in oppression?
@@bh_11x there many cases where the problem is in the women’s head. A bit of money and they got ego, they will disobey and disrespect and destroy the marriage because of the ego
@@RIMJANESSOHMALOOG Many times the woman is getting beat on her head.
After our nikha i found out my husband to be had been talking to other women, trying to meet them i found out after we married through the court it has been really difficult to come to terms with his cheatin he said he put it on the past i am still healing but i feel he never value me even though i was taking care of him for more than two years
He doesn’t value you because you don’t value yourself. Stop doing too much for people and be busy on your own and make yourself happy rather than relying on your husband. Be obedient to him of course but don’t loose yourself
Ummm if your husband committed adultery there is no marriage anymore. Adultery is not accepted in Islam as something to forgive and move on it is one of the major sins I would suggest looking up the punishment for.
If you watch the video he mentioned small issues for couples like praying, small arguments that can be resolved. Not adultery.
I find that if a person is knowledgeable of deen and prioritises Allah and has a person who does the same, they can overcome any challenge in sh Allah, but we are weak and can’t all be that consistently good, so we will be as good a couple as we are good muslims and the balance is constantly tipping one way or another. Beware distractions. Pick someone commited to Islam and kind. You will be with who is destined for you.
I don't agree staying with spouses who are not praying at all. Maybe give them some time with showing tham that u are not pleased what they doing. but someone who refuse to praying has no Deen nor does he have Akhlaal prayer is commanded by every prophets and make sure their love families prayed
You should not take a spouse who does not want to pray in the first place.
I disagree. You are responsible for yourself and to have patience. Have patience and pray for the spouse to come around.
@@SuperIsadam A non practising spouse can have a negative impact on your own imaan though besides as a practicing Muslim you should want a mother/father to your future children who is a good rolemodel in the deen.
@@ummisra Sure but it doesn't always work that a person marries someone who is diligent or a spouse can have a lull in faith too. Islam isn't only about practicing in ideal situations.
You should have done your due diligence beforehand. Now that yiu married for convenience, you have no right to object. Give impact by example. It is too arrogant of you to think so lowly of your husband.
He believes in Tauheed, does not commit shirk and believe in Akhira, he is still Muslim. It is between him and Allah
Marriage is a long term commitment. You should work as a team to try and fulfil each other’s rights, raise your children together and have mercy and compassion for each other. Husband helping wives at home , woman being respectful and not making crazy demands. Communication and trying to understand each other really helps too.
@@MegaFatuma Shayteen live in the human body!!! All humans have shaytaan Jinns living in our bodies!. Warning
Hadith on Satan: Devil runs through people like blood
Anas ibn Malik reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Verily, Satan flows through the human being like the flowing of blood.”
Source: Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2174
Grade: Sahih (authentic) according to Muslim
Shaytaan lives inside humans! All humans have shaytaan living inside their bodies!
May Allah protect us from the accursed shaytaan and guide us to the right path ameen (WE MUST SAY! please say this because the shaytaan cant harm us).... Satan Said, "I will Surely Mislead them All," and so God Said, "I will Surely Fill Hell with you, O Iblees, and those of them that Follow you All Together"So Indeed Satan is an Enemy to you, so Take him as an Enemy, he Only Invites you to be with him in the Blaze of Hellfire
43:62, Qur'an
[So] never let Satan avert you. Indeed, he is a clear enemy to you -
36:62, Qur'an
[For] he had already led astray much of creation from among you, so did you not use reason?
15:39 - 40, Qur'an
[For Iblees] said, "My Lord, because You have made me err, I will surely make [disobedience] attractive to them on earth, and I will mislead them all, except Your chosen servants among them."
38:84 - 85, Qur'an
[So God] said, "The truth [is My oath], and the truth I say - [that] I will surely fill Hell with you and those of them that follow you all together."....
Hadith on Satan: Devil runs through people like blood
Anas ibn Malik reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Verily, Satan flows through the human being like the flowing of blood.”
Source: Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2174
Grade: Sahih (authentic) according to Muslim
Shaytaan lives inside humans! All humans have shaytaan living inside their bodies!
May Allah protect us from the accursed shaytaan and guide us to the right path ameen (WE MUST SAY! please say this because the shaytaan cant harm us)....
When Zina is easy and men can buy with ease it correlates with marriages ending.
Men too entitled with their physical needs....women also have physical needs too but they cannot do justice to their wife because of zina.
There’s always a third party ! That’s why . It’s not the woman’s fault all the time . Sometimes the men have female friends and ex’s that they still keep in contact with . It’s so sad wallahi .
And the women don’t do that? 😂
@@Iamnotheif it’s very rare
@@Osmosis3210 oh yeah, women are so pure. they are not human right? the gamma bias is just insane at the moment.you dont know anything.women are are the same as men but i would argue they are worse than men because they take advantage by knowing society is less suspicious towards women.its ok,in akhira we will all see.khalas
1. Men aren’t qawamuna/ masculine anymore, they see women as someone to compete not someone to provide, protect, support, love, etc.
2. They don’t prioritize their marriages but involve their mothers and have no boundaries with their moms
3. Unrealistic Expectations
4. Social media
5. Surrounding yourself with echo chambers
6. Low imaan and taqwa
7. Expecting your spouse to be everything (best friend, therapist, maid, nanny, chef, etc)…your spouse is one person and can’t fit all these roles
8. Unsealed traumas
9. Marrying the wrong incompatible person based on superficial reasons like looks
10. Sihr, ayn, etc.
So true! Nowadays there are even men who stay at home while letting the wife go to work. It's a sad state of affairs.
Every female with a social media in it is influenced by feminism. They want to be independent and adopt masculine traits.
Male will compete if you compete with them.
Every point you mentioned comes with both gender and more so with females.
Both ways. Women work now, have degrees, and go out socialise. So women bring to the table the same as a man. Women are in really good careers, and muslim guys, on average, aren't doing well career wise. Women won't accept to live on what men bring in, so all that you have listed l has come about because of the new way of the world. Men are lost as a result...women are clueless to this fact. Can't have it both ways.
So true
A man wants to divorce his wife because they are not able to conceive a child? That’s terrible and so sad! This happened to one of my cousins.
He should marry 2nd instead giving talaq
@@theahmedfahad
He should have accepted Allah’s will and not blame his wife for not being able to conceive. As a couple they could have adopted a child.
@@banirahman4926 Right, mash´Allah. The prophet s.a.w.w said that the orphan and him are one (showing with his fingers together). So many men claim to want to adhere to Sunnah by marrying several women, yet NONE of them talk about Sunnah when it comes to orphans or taking on widows from war-zones. After the genocide of men in Bosnia, so many Bosnian sisters were left...nobody ever talked about marrying any of these sisters, some of whom had been raped by Serbian and Croatian militia. These Muslim men can fool the entire Ummah if they want to, but they cannot fool Allah swt.
What sheikhs/scholars should we contact and ask for help? Noone is available. They offer counselling which is often very expensive. Once I called an imam, he was rude and dismissed me.
True
If you live in the US or not there are Muslim psychological services available now, not perfect I get it… but there is something
Been looking for a spouse for almost three years and I’ve got everything in place but demands from girls are silly these days. Please brothers and sisters make dua I find a wife soon In’sha’Allah so my mum can experience some happiness in her life and I can complete my deen.
Edit: I said my mother because i just want her to see me get married and I don’t want her to miss it. What’s wrong with that? And no, no one has rejected because of that… I’ve rejected because they’re mostly asking me to move very far and I can’t because of my job.
May Allah make it easy
@@IlmFeedPodcast Jazakallah
May Allah guide you to what's best for your Deen and Ahkhira. Allahumma Ameen
What’s your contact brother I have a good pious sister in Atlanta looking for husband 😊
May allah grant you the perfect spouse and allow your other half to be a source of peace in’sha’allah
married the one who Allah choose not yours
I am married 21 years. My husband gambled a lot of money his own and mine. After 20 years I had enough I made him move out. It’s very sad as everything else in our life is good, hence why we never broke up before.
I’m so tired of it. I couldn’t take it anymore. We still love each other but I am helpless to do anything, except now try and protect myself and my teenage kids.😢
You did the right thing and deserve so much better.
I am indian muslim lived in india and grew in india and moved ro western land 15 years ago . The modern day problem in western muslimsi have seen is high divorce rate bcoz muslims here have lot of free mixing , due to whixh they meet lot of girls and guys , go on dates etc . When things don't work out seek other person , this is how they have multiple relationships before marriage and when they get married , they compare marriage life to dating life ( no duties no bills no worries of families , kids etc) most are not even mature at 30 to get married . They think it's just romantic after marriage and every day honeymoon , Romeo juliet life.
I don't agree. The things you highlighted also happened in your country but undercover. Lots and lots of issues in India and many ppl stay within toxic marriages due to community pressure. Or thinking of what would so and so say
We need to learn & teach Effective Communication & Collaboration Skills. Conflict management and most importantly respect & self-Respect ❤
Getting married nowadays is like gambling, ur tossing a coin and statistically is 50/50. Keep Allah above all else, stay off social media, stay away from in-laws and single friends!
It’s so sad to hear this …marriage needs patience and Rahma and compassion for your partner. It takes 2 to build a healthy marriage and 1 to destroy it 💔… May Allah bless you my brothers and sisters with god fearing spouses
Nicely said
@19:35. The brother talks about staying with the in laws. " if you agree" stick it out. I couldn't disagree more. Staying in laws is not sunnah, infact you can say it's almost anti sunnah. The guys is in his 30 but has to ask his parents about making simple decisions about his marriage. How pathetic. We need to ivercom3 this problem. Often staying with families destroy marriages.
Can you guys go over the 40 hadiths of marriage?
The muslim community needs more coaching and counseling on what marriage is and how we should show up as husbands and wives.
Pray ,prioritise,protect,respect ,truth no lies ,love ,loyalty effort ,problem solver ingredients to a happy marriage
Getting a divorce. All of a sudden my wife becomes a faasiqa and faajira
Marriage is failing because all men threaten their wives with first divorce and second marriage- what grounds as a women do we stand on when we are bullied by men?
Divorces are mostly initiated by women
Yet 90 percent divorces are initiated by women , there are always 2 sides to the story but women wants to be victims every time framing men in a negative light
problem with list of questions the bigger the list the more chance you will not get married. Marriage is based on an emotional connection in this day and age we have forgotton islam unfortunately. we will only marry if they are muslim by name to make other friends and family members happy.
This is what the new generation need. To hear. Jisaakalah qayran
Marriage is easy. Unless you are a difficult person then the problem lies with you.
Life has ups and downs not just marriage. How do you deal with ups and downs in life? You figure it out?! So why can’t couples figure out their issues rather than calling it a day?
thirteen divorces in a month or in a year? Subhaana Laah.
Both sexes in the comments section like to blame each other but in reality, we've both hot our faults and if you're honest with yourself, you will recongise this.
The change in women having economic power is what has result in much divorce, they leave marriages now because they can, whereas before this option wasn't available to them
With economic power comes choice, men had the monopoly when they had all the economic power, now they don't as women have it too, women now can be choosey on who they marry and who they divorce
Even non Muslim divorce lawyers have named this as the reason for a rise in divorce, women work, and they feel their men are no longer bringing anything to the table except additional stress/work.
@@emma647 ok
Being economically independent is not the main reason. If BOTH husband and wives treat each other with respect and mercy, trust me, NO one woupd want to leave. Many women had wealthnin the Prophets time. Divorce was even not uncommon. How many of the Prophets woves were divorcees. Removing womens economic right does NOT solve the root of the problem. It simply stifles it. Believe me, many mothers/grandmothers of those time and even some fathers are the ones pushing theor daughters to be economicaly independent because of what they or theor mothers and sisters suffered. We need mutual respect, understanding and mercy. NEITHER OF US (men and women) are perfect or without blame. The men who abused the power they had over women are partly to blame for the issues today. And the women who go overboard, weponise vulnerability and destroy the reputation and luclihood of men are also to blame. Stopping womens economic power will not resolve either ofnthese issues. It simply puts women at a disadvantage @emma647
A true gentleman gets married
A loser abuses a spouse
Woman and men can be abusers
The rule of thumb is STAY IN LOVE. RESPECT EACHOTHER. DNT NEGLECT EACHOTHER
KEEP INLAWS OUT
REMEMBER U TOOK AN OATH INFRONT OF ALLAH.FULFILL THAT PROMISE
LEAVE UR FRIENDS WHN U MARRY
DNT BRING UR OFFICE HOME
FAMILY TIME MUST BE OF ALL VALUE
CHAT EVERYDAY ABT EACHOTHERS DAY .CONCERNS.
AND ALWAYS KEEP THE BEDROOM NO1
ALLAH BLESS ALL OUR MARRIAGES WITH BARAKAH AND KHAIR
AMEEN👍🏻🤲🏻💯
Genuinely enjoyed this and will be sharing......keep it up!
Thank you. Please do check out our other episodes.
People marry potential and go in with assumptions without being direct or making own preferences clear. I believe its to do with social media, movies etc placing unrealistic expectations of how a romantic relationship will be. People havena fantasy and delusion in their head of what someone will be like. Husbands marrying virgins but expect them to be experienced in the bedroom and then wives wanting to be provided more because they see on social media going on holidays, eating out etc. Its fine to do all those things but have to be understanding and considerate of eachother. Give eachother basic rights, learn about rights and obligations even after marriage..also dont get parents involved in your disagreements unless its absolutely necessary and give eachother grace and consideration
Can you talk about the cases you’ve had regarding infidelity? I found that not a lot of material is available on infidelity after marriage in Islam and how we’re supposed to deal with it except by divorce.
Ma’sha’Allah very good podcast
This generation used to breaking up and patching since teenage years. Till now alot of them didnt outgrow from it
Marriages are falling because the current generation saw their parents or the married people around them being unhappy and having to put up with bs, so they're getting divorced. they don't want to get stuck in the same situation.
Agreed - current generation see any conflict as "bs" and do not want to get "stuck" in the "same" situation, hence divorce or not even getting married has become the 1st option. The word "opportunity" to positively overcome any conflict is absent in current generation vocabulary or mindset. Opportunity to learn, to accommodate, to collaborate, to emphatize, to communicate, to support, etc... all missing.
@@othmanabdulkarim4396 I don't mean the struggles that can be overcome with effort in every marriage. What I mean is that men see their wives as property, cheat,don't give them their due, look down on the work they do at home, can't differentiate between their own family and their wife and children, physical and psychological violence, don't listen to their wives' needs, making wife feel bad about wanting money from him, don't take care of the house, see their spending on the house as unnecessary, don't communicate with their children... and I can add more. If you listen to the traumas of this generation without judging them, you will understand that the reason is actually what they have seen around them. There might be people who quit on the first struggle but from my point of view they dont see anything comes after it worth the struggle. Because after all these hardship they gone trough is nothing but obligation in the eyes of their partner.Of course, there are many other reasons for the increase in divorces, but for me, these are the reasons why I don't want to get married. (All those things can be said for woman too)
You can agree to live with in laws but sometimes in laws become abusive and too intrusive. Its not usually as black and white as not keeping your word. Keep your word through how much?
Mashallah a very useful discussion...learnt quite a lot. Jazakumullah khair.
Alhamdulillah. Hope you find our other episodes beneficial.
@@IlmFeedPodcast This is the first time I watched your videos. In shaa Allah hoping to watch the episodes which I have missed before. Honestly this episode I have been watching little by little when time permits for almost 4 days. After watching it completely I was happy coz understood the importance of marriage and most importantly how to avoid issues between husband and wife. Jazakumullah khair for the eye opener.
I understand when sisters struggle to find good husbands because all they want is a practicing man who is also reasonably educated and has a stable income, all of which are essential to living a decent life, are within one's control and is their Islamic right i.e. to be provided for. But as someone looking for a suitable groom, I find that brothers say that they want a wife on her deen, but aren't being honest because they'd go for less pious girls who look pretty, which is easy to find and frankly says nothing about the person, because they didn't choose to look good/ bad. If they could be less looks-oriented, more sisters would settle for brothers getting an average income and maybe not focus so much on their careers and extensive college education. Men are failing to provide, which is their Islamic duty, but are blaming sisters for covering less and less when these are the types that the men are actually sparing a second look at. They are failing to realize that stellar looks may be something not every practicing sister could offer esp since she would not be into makeup, lashes etc, most likely stays from the crowds that they associate with (mixed unis, youth clubs, corporate environments etc), and are the shy and inexperieced types that don't appeal to the average man.
Oh sis, I so agree! Except for that whole social media trend word about "trying to be like men" 😕. This ummah talks in a demeaning way about "career women" and "sisters wanting to pursue higher education", but fail to acknowledge and even discuss WHY so many young women choose that route. First of all, seeking education is the RIGHT of every Muslim. Secondly, it may be a trauma response and even a great focus to keep oneself away from the fitnah in society.
SO MANY girls grew up in households where they witnessed their mothers being treated abhorrently and forced to stay in toxic marriages, begging the husband to even buy diapers for the babies. These young sisters´ first understanding of life was "Never depend on a man". But now we blame them? 😕For being such amazing survivors, taking responsibility to stand on their own feet, having nearly saved their mothers and even young siblings?
They grew up either witnessing violence and dysfunction, or absent brothers who were allowed to live completely Deen-free lives until they either "suddenly remembered Islam" or started becoming "religious" 🤨just because they were ready to settle with a "pure" woman" at 35-40 years of age when they have "played around enough". So then the brothers, after having done X-Y-Z with all kinds of women, now want "a girl from a Pakistani village who knows what loyalty is". 🤔 Pretty rich coming from guys who showed NO loyalty to Allah for 3 decades, despite having a pious mother and pious sisters at home.
There are now tonnes of PIOUS, well-educated and down to earth sisters in the West who have never, NEEEEVER got attention from a Muslim man. You´re dead on about that demographic. No man is interested in them, but the official version is "Women are gold diggers, women have too high standards, women have become masculine". 🙄 These sisters grew up not being allowed to even talk to men, and some not even allowed to go the mosque (because "What are you going to do in the mosque? There will be guys there"). They have experienced racism yet held on to their hijaabs (and Deen). They have experienced seeing Muslim men (and their own brothers) openly in relationships with non-Muslim women all around them. They have experienced standing alone when having their hijaabs snatched off, being denied work, being ignored all youth by the ONLY men that they can marry (Muslims) and occasionally being chased by newly arrived uneducated migrants who see them only as a ticket to get a permanent stay in the West (and these men often have a wife already, or a designated cousin waiting back home, or entire families to send back money to even after marriage).
Even if a good brother exists, or has started existing recently (meaning, suddenly woken up after doing X-Y-Z...🙄), they usually go for 2 types of women: Either the WHITE convert in the mosque (never a black! 🙅♀), or the imported young 17-year old from back home. Only some rare time does a Muslim man go for a girl from here, and then it´s that "sexy hijaabi" or "sexy Desi girl" who is good, but flaunts her beauty and happily meets him before marriage (minus the physical relations). Nobody wants the highly educated PIOUS Muslimah with glasses, no heels, no tight clothes that show her curves and no makeup skills. There is NOBODY in the Muslim ummah or social media even talking about these sisters. They have always been invisible and will remain so. The only time they are visible is when people want to, excuse me....SHIT on their existence and blame them for traumas that they had no choice in. In face, even their own brothers SHIT on them all life, because getting with some white girls was apparently more important that helping your traumatised mother and sisters at home! 💔 Career woman they say...huh? More like trauma-survivors and champs of the Deen!
@@Khwaab sister, my heart breaks for all the young women who are so precious in the eyes of Allah, who are holding onto their deen in such hard times, but are struggling to find a good husband because men fail to see their value. Most of these “high value” women have simple exteriors and are willing to settle but men are refusing to fulfil their duty to provide and be equally educated etc so women who have been forced to work or made to feel unsafe about depending on a man, like you mentioned. I was also talking about sisters who feel like they also have to be corporate beasts and study all the way until a PhD at mixed universities whilst delaying marriage, which is something that’s not recommended at all, but I understand how circumstances have pushed us to stand on our own feet and adapt to western norms to build better lives.
I respect your sentiments sis, may Allah SWT bless you
@@fathima1639 Jazak'Allah khayr respected sister 🫶🏽. Alhamdulillah, I'm not a young woman ☺️, but I know plenty of them. I feel such warmth in my heart from your reply, mash'Allah. A bit further down, I wrote to a commenter about growing up with a violent dad, and he replied "There are always 2 sides to a story". I could tell from the answer that it was a man. The lack of empathy, the total disregard for men's bad behaviour...these are the men supposed to be our Muslim "brothers" today 😞😒. It's no wonder that things are the way they are.
I'm just surprised, subhan'Allah, how these sisters don't leave Islam altogether? They carry Islam ALONE in Islamophobic societies, while the sisters in the East just bear the brunt of being treated like 3rd class citizens all life. It's Allah's favour upon these women, that they stand by the Deen despite dead leadership of men and severe racism. Really, Muslim women are made of some other-worldly mettle, mash'Allah!
@@Khwaab I can 100% relate to everything you wrote and I mean everything. All the issues you related are valid but you never see anyone discuss such issues as those dawah bros. I have at least 9 childhood friend who are 38-40 yrs and never been married many carry the trauma of being brought up in violent households. I have noticed a up tick in young moslim girls marrying none moslim men in recent yrs.
The should Go back to Muslim countries if they want their type. It is easier to get pious men in Muslim countries. This is one of the problems that come with living in the west
The point at @17:00 is contrary to what I've heard. I've heard the spirituality and practicing levels should match, otherwise the non practicing one drags the other one down.
Don't ever deny me the fact, that my greatest enemy has got cold feet, then and only then, can you be as racist as you like, file for as many divorces as you like. 😁
Jazak Allah Khair for sharing these insights, I have found this video very beneficial.
As a marriage counselor am telling you too many toxic people destroy others marriage
Because we are far from the religion of Allah (SW). I never seen 2 true worshiper of Allah (SW) having difficulty staying together. But if you're a dayuuth and she believes Feminism is above the law of Allah (SW) good luck with staying married and having a happy marriage. This is very simple. If you want to be happy in this life and next, then make Allah (SW) happy by following his rules.
Facts.
That is not correct. I have seen atheists with beautiful marriages with a lot if love and respect.People can pray and do all of the fard but they fail in respect, and showing love.
He just mentioned that the Sahaaba also got divorced and EMPHASISED that, despite great character, some people find out that they simply aren´t compatible. At least listen before commenting....😕.
It is bcz of social media
The ladies and men are watching everything in the social media and it has negative impact on their social relationships
Thank you for this podcast
Zina zina zina
Its simple.
Never marry someone who has committed zina and thats including yourself.
You attract what you deserve.
The men are nor being responsible for their wife and kids
Simple women have economic power now, & thus are not forced to remain in bad marriages like their mothers, nor settle for less just to be married,
That won’t be true soon because American economy is going through a reckoning and women won’t be able to pull their full economic weight compared to the fake jobs they have had
If I can add one more-TRUST
The key to a successful marriage and a happy wife is almost too easy 😅: when she is angry and wants to argue, don’t say anything. If she’s wrong in her argument just say, “ interesting point babe, I never thought of it like that or you really have a strong point or you’re right now that I think about it”. Other than that, give her intense intimacy and affection and study her like a college topic and study her body, her mind, her heart, her entire existence! From there your wife will turn into a crack addict for your presence 😂.
JazaakAllahu khayr for this podcast, ustadh Shabbir with Qari Ishaaq. Some very important topics discussed and overall a helpful and beneficial episode الحمد لله.
Thanks for watching!
We Muslim men think that if we get one with hicab, our lives will be easier and we will be saved. Unfortunately, we only have a picture in front of us, but we know nothing about this person's past. Everyone should know that a woman is not programmed for emotions but for survival. And if she's convinced she can't survive with you, you'll be a very, very, very....................... have a very difficult time.
With all due respect , as a religious leader celebrating valentines day is something that really shouldn't be celebrated.
I would gave hoped you not mention it or if its mentioned straighten the knowledge for people.
Jazakum Allah kheir for all your efforts.
Good discussion, I hope the imamas study a bit of human psychology and also study why most men in the muslim culture are so avoidant and shut down and condescending towards their wives to the extent of causing significant emtoional and psychological abuse that goes on for years breaking the psyche of women and making the marriage stressful and toxic. Some of these ignorant behaviours are mostly coming from men sadly.
Marriage are failing because of what kind of environments ppl grow up in by looking at their own relationship dynamic with family , is how children learn what love respect n islamic duty is , som get good tarbiyyah som dnt , lack of akhlaaq, social media and the world we live in where everything very superficial the way we place value in life n value on ppl based on superficial things.
44:40 agreed with that book
More! The older men upstairs the 60 also diforced
Alot people has believed in an religion rhat wasnt and they didnt married rhe real one rhey really had an past life our are conected with them soul bit more an ecnomic product...
Social media and romantic movies/dramas is putting the bar for relationship so high. People Expect to feel a certain way in a marriage and when it doesnt live up to it they feel like they married wrong
What happens when you ask all the correct questions pre marriage, but then after nikkah you found out she lied to all those questions?
Do you have to make sure if such a simple and expected thing that Staying out late with your friends and not spending time with your family is not an option.
Normal people know that their independence will be lost to an extent when they marry
Here it’s difficult enough just finding someone..
“Marriage is two imperfect people come together to bring the best out of themselves”
Marriage has become way too difficult in the west
every muslim needs to listen to this, even those who are already married can learn so much from this. we can also pass this down to our children. Allah bless
Mashallah a great discussion and input from both interviewer and professional
What is imam ishaq full name n also detail.about the journal is it on amazon
السلام عليكم ! 3 Words , Rememberance of ALLAH !!!
I offer free counselling if there are no seperations yet
The more i hear this the less I want to get married.
Great podcast, a lot to learn here.
Men, if you want to go out to clubs or with your friends on the weekend and neglect yiur wife you are not ready to vet married
Very good
Such an important topic 🙌🏽
If both parties recite Surah Baqarah consistently in the house, then almost all marriage problems (as well as a host of others) will disappear!!