I hope you enjoyed today's video. Thank you to Babbel for sponsoring! Start speaking a new language in 3 weeks with Babbel 🎉 Get up to 60% OFF your subscription here ➡ go.babbel.com/t?bsc=1200m60-youtube-thedailyconnoisseur-may-2023&btp=default&UA-cam&Influencer..thedailyconnoisseur..USA..UA-cam I would love to know if you resonated with today's discussion. Let us know in the comments. Thank you for watching! Love, Jennifer
I am a homemaker for years and I actually believe I'm made for it, but what I find scary is the way we're disrespected and looked down to by society. That makes you feel burned out. People and some husband's think, if you're actually enjoying being a homemaker and thrive in that environment, you're probably simply doing nothing all day! It's unbelievable the devaluing of my full time profession!!!
I think you are correct. I've been a homemaker for 22 yrs. I have 3 kids. I have done all the cooking, cleaning, yardwork, grocery shopping+ help husband with our side business. I've suffered from burnout several times. It was NEVER from the work. It was from the total devaluation of my role in the larger society, as well as from many friends & family members. It wares you down when you feel invisible, disrespected, misunderstood, and taken for granted. I've had to REALLY work hard at challenging the cultural beliefs around homemaking and "testing" their validity. Is cleaning worthless? Then WHY is it so valued in a 5 star hotel? Is homemaking mindless and repetitive? Well, so are many data entry jobs that people do for pay. So, mindless, repetitive work is worthy as long as it comes with a paycheque? The more I challenge these ideas, the more I realize that my value and my purpose cannot be found reflected in others or culture at large. ♥️🇨🇦
@@amandazplace5663 that’s really good reasoning. I always think of live in maids. No one thinks there lazy or their life is gravy. A homemaker does the same jobs as a live in maid she just doesn’t make the same salary.
It's very easy to shut down people like that. Just make a list of all the tasks involved in homemaking plus the yearly salary for each task and read it to them. Having said that, it is not the actual tasks that are devalued, it's the fact that a woman is doing it. Most hairdressers are women, but most of the famous hairdressers are men and the same goes for cooking and fashion. When women became nurses, teachers and office workers in large numbers, the salaries and prestige of all these professions immediately plummeted.
Theres a page in the book, "the private world of tasha tudor" p 60-61 where tasha talks about just sitting on her porch in the evening. Its made an impression on me so much so that ive returned to that page recently and decided that i will include sitting on my veranda and sipping herbal tea each evening. My dog joins me and for the past few months ive watched night after night as the moon waxes and wanes and moves across the sky. I listen to the frogs and bats and wind in the trees and just observe and think. Its unbelievably relaxing. Just for 15 mins or so before going to bed and reading a cosy crime novel. No more netflix. I get to sleep so much earlier because im not tempted to stay up watching tv.
You cannot pour 🩷 from an empty cup. As the beautiful song goes "Fill my cup, Lord, I lift it up Lord!" God is in the self love of rest and relaxation, also.
Absolutely needed to hear this. I’m a homemaker, homeschool mom and I have 4 children. My youngest now is 4 months and exclusively breastfeeding. I always put myself last. I spent my tea time today watching this and I am so glad that I did. Such a perfect topic for this time of my life.
This is so true! I'm a 56 year old homeschool mama of 12 children. I still have 5 students at home ranging from 17-8 years old. Even after 29 years of homeschooling, I still have 10 years to go! A few years ago, I realized I had "lost myself." I first brought in relaxing and sleep. I take short breaks several times a day in my bedroom where I created a "nook" to relax in with tea and a book. I say goodnight to my family and am in bed by 9:30. I often read or watch a video before I sleep. They all stay up later than me. I also brought back my creative side by sewing and crafting again. I'm getting so much pleasure and joy out of it! My husband set up cabinets and tables for me to work on these hobbies. He's very supportive. He told me he doesn't care if I ever sell the things I'm making because he sees how happy I am making them. 🥰 I also noticed that I move fast through my daily homemaking and hold my breath. I'm so glad you mentioned it! I'm conscious of it and working on it. I do need to incorporate daily exercise and sunshine . Self care is so important. Take care of your feet-get pedicure regularly. Take your supplements. Count your glasses of water to make sure you're getting enough. Dye your hair if it makes you feel pretty. Wear makeup at home if you would feel more confident. Yesterday I WAS tired so I didn't wear any makeup (rare for me) , and my 11 year old said, "Mama, you look tired today". 😑 I have taught all my children how to cook and bake. They can get along fine when I am gone. When I need help in the kitchen or want a complete break from it, I can assign it to them and do something else! 😁 My 14 year old son asked me if he could make French bread yesterday--his specialty. He was excited to try the new silicon molds I'd just ordered for him. 😉 I have the teens do all their own laundry, a blessing to me as it frees up some time, as well as teaches them the life skill and responsibility. I have been married for 36 years and have been a mother for 32. Homemaking is a joy, but it is more than full-time as it is 24/7. We don't "leave it at the office," so to speak. Especially if we homeschool as well. As a veteran mom, I encourage others to consider implementing the points in the video. Starting with one thing, then trying another.... Thank you for this video! This is an important one, and I wish I had realized these things in my 30's instead of in my 50's!
I’m a homeschooling mama of 5, from almost nine years old down to my 8 month old. Just wanted to say your message really blessed me and was lovely to read! What a beautiful life!
One of my hobbies is playing video games, and I got so focused on work, doomscrolling, and trying to stay ahead of housework, that I had a huge backlog of games I hadn’t finished or even started. And I’m a single person living by myself! So homemakers with careers and/or families to look after, PLEASE have grace for yourself. You’re doing so much.
As a homemaker, homeschool mom of 5, I find that perspective is the biggest factor in my happiness. If I choose to feel this as a special season that will not last forever, and aggressively search out all the reasons to be grateful for my present life and circumstances, I do not experience the burnout. I've changed all of my "I have to do" to "I get to do" and it is life-giving!
Be gentle with yourself Jennifer. You are dealing with the grief of the loss of your father in law , and the worries about your Father’s health , I think you also said that Ben had been away in England to help his Mother with the business following on from his Fathers death last summer , so you will have been managing the children on your own during his absences , and must miss him badly when he has to be away . You have been through so much trauma and grief over the past year, not to mention all the stresses of the pandemic before that . Please take good care of yourself ❤️🙏sending love from the UK x
Thank you SO MUCH for acknowledging that people who work full-time jobs outside the home are homemakers, too. This recognition brought tears to my eyes. Often we are labeled "career women" who neglect our homes and families. That couldn't be further from the truth. I have immeasurable respect for people who have made homemaking their full-time job. Part of me would love to do that, but I get so much fulfillment from my job and the community I've built around it, and that benefits my home life. Still, my top priority is my family, and I work hard at providing a stable, nurturing, and loving environment for us all. Although I have a supportive spouse and a helpfuI teen, I still get burned out. (That's where I am right now, so this video is especially timely!) I've let several (ok...all) of these self-care habits fall by the wayside. I appreciate the reminder, and thanks again for recognizing that working-outside-the-home people are homemakers, too. ❤ 🏡
This should be the subject of your next book! What a great topic…I recently discovered that what Ive been experiencing is burnout, so I’m glad I’m not alone in this experience ❤❤
Currently found out I was in burn out as well after 5 years of battling anxiety. No my friend you are not alone. The good news is once you treat the burn out life gets better. I’m working on it 🙌
The pandemic broke sooooo many of us with endless hours of work with no relief, thank you for your strategies to help usreclaim ourselves! Just breathe!
This is relevant today, and it always has been! On Monday, I was doing so awful (no, mothers day was not relaxing), that I texted my husband & older kids that I was not making dinner and was going out for the evening. Packed a cold supper and brought a book to a quiet waterfront place. Getting outdoors always helps.
Perfect advice! In my 67 years, I have been a married stay-at-home mom, a married working mom, a single working mom, a working married empty-nester. I am now married and retired. Each stage was an exercise in prioritization. Fortunately, I was always "selfish" enough to put myself and what I wanted to do as a priority after the absolutely essential was accomplished. And the 6 things you mentioned were always part of that. Exercise, hobbies, relaxation to me are the trifecta contributing to a great life. At this stage of life, I think of myself as even more of a manager than ever; my one partner has to always be asked to do something. I was hoping it would not be looked at as him "helping" do my work, but taking on some of the tasks as his work. Even though we have discussed this several times, it just hasn't happened and I am resigned to my fate! But, some things don't get done as often or as well as the standards my mom instilled in me would demand. I haven't lowered my standards so much as put some of them aside for a new normal. Best wishes to all the homemakers out there; live your best life at whatever season you are in!
Totally me. Never ending nervous energy which is a blessing but can be a curse. So hard for me to sit down & relax with the family. 😳 I have seen my mother do this & know how hurtful it can be when a mom doesn’t. “Mom come sit down & join us” I know how important it is to take time to sit & veg with the kids I’m working at it.
Thank you so much for this encouragement. My son is 16 months and the sleep component has been key. I am thankful that i was well prepared before his birth, and had gotten a deep freezer filled with meals. Even still, the workload of cleaning seemed neverending! But thankfully, before his birth, i had read somewhere that a mother of a newborn (especially if nursing) should think about how many hours she needed of sleep each night to feel rested, and that she should commit to actually SLEEPING that amount each night. So if i need 7 hours of sleep to manage, and i get up in the night twice to feed baby and change diapers, my 7 hours of sleep may take me 9 hours. The key is to NOT try to do anything extra during those hours. Change diapers, feed, back to bed. Even if it was 7 AM, if i didn't feel rested enough, I went back to bed with my baby. This strategy helped me tremendously. I know it will be different when we add another child to the mix (God willing), but I do think prioritizing sleep is key to avoiding burnout, especially as a new mom.
This is so true. I did the same and everyone asked " nah are you so sleep deprived with your baby?" I said no. But free time or screen time there was not much. At least I got sleep !
When you add an other child to the mix, the older one can watch peppa pig :D and you go back to sleep. Or if possible your husband let's you sleep in. Or you go to bed earlier and the husband helps with the kids. I did this. And it is possible to get enough sleep with two kids. (One a baby) but it must be the highest priority .
@@florencejoy5209 That's great to hear that you managed to still get your sleep with two! Seriously, I cannot be happy in life without enough sleep lol. It's so very important to me.
I was about to watch older videos on this channel because I’m so inspired by Jennifer… then I see a new video is available and I literally gasped. Happy day!
I sure could have used these helpful tips when I was in this season of my life!! 😊 I lived off-grid on 100 acres in the backwoods of Maine with my husband, my mom who has dementia, and my 6 children. We homeschooled, as well...Our favorite project was keeping nature journals..There were moose, black bears, etc., so much to write about!! Living off-grid meant a whole lot more chores...Just to have hot water was a process! 😂 I would have crawled into a hole if all my children hadn't helped out!! 🤩 We worked together to keep things running smoothly! As a result, ALL 6 of them have a wonderful work ethic! Now, my children have all moved out, and I am taking care of my mom who will be passing any day now. I am also managing my 105 acre homestead in Texas by myself now. These helpful tips you presented in your video will also be helpful for ladies that are going through the season of life that I'm in now! ❤ I have started a Commonplace book, thanks to a video of yours, and THAT has also helped alleviate some stress by providing a creative outlet! I love your calm, classy spirit and have several of your books in my library. I, also, listen to your books while I'm doing chores! Great stuff! 🤩
This was such a valid subject of discussion Jennifer. I’ve come out of a time of burnout after the loss of my husband. It has taken me 5 years of seriously trying to figure out how to get back on track. I just couldn’t get my sparkle back. It wasn’t depression but total burnout. I thought my sparkle was just gone for good. Finally, I have come out of it by doing lots of decluttering, thinning out drawers, cupboards, closets, storage room and the garage. I’ve simplified bookkeeping, my wardrobe (at your direction), added in knitting, love for the Dodgers and I’ve started canning again after probably 40 years of being too busy. I’ve also become interested in decorating my home again. I even have a new puppy to my life. He’s brought joy back to my every day. I want to be sure I never get that run down again! I am saving your video so that I can take some notes. I think it would me a good reminder to myself to frame these points to where I would be reminded on a regular basis. I wondered if I’d ever get through this time. I’m happy to report that I have come out of the other side of the mountain. This video is going to be a tremendous blessing to other women homemakers. Thank you for seeing the need!
positive vibes to all out there! I am the sole human in my house with all the responsibility for a big house, three rescued dogs- one that is elderly and ill and another that has special needs- a full time career... I am the CEO of absolutely everything. When I start to feel tired, I remember that my grandmother's day, many people did not have a home to manage or a job or food or healthcare- it helps me to reframe things a bit and be grateful for all I get to manage. ❤
I imagine I’m relaxing when I’m scrolling on my phone and watching videos, etc, but when I pay attention to how I feel, I realize I’m not the least bit relaxed or refreshed when I do that. It has also become hard for me to let go of responsibilities and relax enough to enjoy reading or hobbies. All 6 tips are great but I especially love #6 about being gentle with yourself. Really great video. Thanks, Jennifer!!
Thank you, I needed this. While knowing God would not give me more than I could bear, this week I cried out to Him saying I could not do it anymore. The next day I lost my part time job. (I homeschool, help my husband with our business, home maker, preserver, and had a part time job while my husbands arm was healing from a horrible break) I am sure I was the most joyful person to have ever lost their job! I have a cello sitting in my room waiting for me!
This is a wonderful video, Jennifer! I agree with absolutely all of it. My children range from 22-27, so my challenges are seemingly different although I can relate to so much. Sometimes I actually feel like this stage is harder. As parents we lose that ability (and rightly so) to make everyday decisions for our children. The last three years have been incredibly difficult for parents of teenagers and young adults. The information-or lack of information-has been overwhelming. Being gentle with oneself and praying, breathing, focusing on hobbies and relaxation is crucial now, more than ever, I believe. Also, sleep as you age can be elusive too. Menopause brings on a new set of challenges in this category! Thank you for bringing us relevant insights every single time you post! ❤
We just got a house almost a year ago and I’m still in new homeowner mode. I decided I wanted to be a homemaker while working full time. Even though I like my work and career, I found homemaking very fulfilling. Not everything is unpacked yet, maintaining the house takes such care and I’ve been feeling over my head balancing both. Thank you for this video
Thanks so much for the encouragement to reclaim our own lives, Jennifer! There is one time-claiming activity that pulls you away from taking care of yourself that you didn't mention but is a rabbit hole we women often go down and that's being a "professional" volunteer. I have spent my adult life as a mother, homemaker and "full-time" volunteer...our daughter's schools, the neighborhood & community, and church all claimed large quantities of my attention over the years...to the point that I really felt like all my time belonged to others. Now our daughter is grown with a daughter of her own which I think has led people to believe that I should spend even MORE time volunteering. I understand...worthy organizations NEED volunteers and the pool of volunteers grows ever smaller as people spend more time focusing on careers and other pursuits...but to say I am burned out is a massive understatement. Had already decided that I'm going to reclaim more of my time this year before I saw this video but find myself wavering a bit when I think of all that needs doing and how few are stepping up to do it. Think I'm going to bookmark this video and rewatch it every time I start to say "yes" when I really want (and deserve) to say "no." Thanks again!
@@TheDailyConnoisseur As a daughter who also took on a huge share of taking care of my parents in their later years, I can't stress enough the need to have boundaries and stick to them. It's amazing how much other people think you can handle and having been through it has made me aware to be gentle in my expectations of others. We really can't know everything that's going on in other people's lives. I don't regret a minute I devoted to them but I know my own and the prayers of others are what got me through so you have mine, as well. Prayers for your dad, as well.
My goodness I can so relate to this. I am a homeschooling mom. My husbands works full time so I’m basically in charge of all the cleaning, laundry, cooking, school work, etc…. (You know the drill) and I was also volunteering 18 hours a week to a volunteer work. Couple this with spending time with both sets of families and I have found myself burnt at both ends. However I’ve been doing this for more than 14 years! It was only this year that I started to scale back. I also did all other volunteer service for Ukranian refugees and was learning Russian and Ukranian ( been taking lessons). When I realized I was in burn out it changed everything for me. I’m now learning to rest again which is oddly uncomfortable for me but I’m getting better at it. I’m realizing what my husband has told me for years is so true “just because you can doesn’t mean you should.”
@@ComplicatedSimplicite I LOVE what your husband told you!!! Think I'm going to print it out and tape it to my mirror in the bathroom! "Just because you can doesn't mean you should"...what great advice!
@@ComplicatedSimplicite your husband is wise! Yes, people think just because we are home, we have nothing to do. The meals are cooked magically, the laundry is done magically, food appears in the refrigerator magically, and so on.
Any mamas with autoimmune conditions here? It forces you to slow down and try to prioritize yourself better. Know that you’re not alone and you’re in my prayers. ❤🙏
Thanks Jennifer, I take a lot of happiness in my identity as a homemaker, Mother, wife and host of long term family house guests. Lately I have really struggled as I am in my first trimester and having terrible 24hour nausea and daily vomiting :( I feel like a failure as I can hardly put away my laundry, cook dinner, and it is hard to see things in disarray. So I thank you for your message. It’s been a bit depressing and I will change the way I look at this chapter.
Six months ago I experienced burnout and I think I've been courting it for years. I told my husband what I was experiencing and we came up with a system to make sure I got 1-2 evenings "off." Our middle child struggled to go to sleep in the evenings and by the time she was asleep, it was time for me to go to bed and I hadn't had any time to decompress. So I either went to bed stressed or stayed up and got even less sleep. Other things besides dedicated time to myself: hot baths and exercise help force my body to release stored stress, sewing and creating, trying new things like learning to grow sprouts, learning when to call mental health days for homeschooling (ditching the books and going outside together, etc), and eating more fresh fruits and veggies. Thank you Jennifer! This is important to talk about. Homemaking, parenting, and homeschooling are marvelous choices and opportunities so when you express difficulty, many people just blame your choice instead of acknowledging that all choices have hard days and seasons, but that doesn't make those choices wrong. ❤️
Yes to your last paragraph about your life choices. I am a homeschooling mother of four ages 7 down to newborn. People are so mean, and will say things like well that was your life choice. It's cruel! Thank you for what you said because it is so true. Not to mention the fact that this life is not about doing what is easy but what is right. I want my kids my husband and I to be holy and that takes extreme time and effort.
This resonated so strongly with me that it brought me to tears. I greatly appreciate the compassion and empathy you felt and shared with us. I have had some help over the years but I do find keeping up with things to be overwhelming with society's fast pace. Everyone and everything feels so rushed anymore, but I do find home keeping comforting and appreciate that there is this wonderful platform and group that also appreciates this as well. It had been becoming a lost art but with your platform and group it feels like there is still an appreciation for it. Thank you Jennifer and hope you and everyone in this group has a wonderful weekend. ☺️🥀🫖
This was SUCH a timely reminder. I really tend to push myself and struggle to relax, even after two heart attacks in the last year. (I’m 41) I HAVE to learn that relaxing before the work is finished is ok, even noble, for the sake of my health and longevity. We have too much to live for, ladies, to work ourselves completely out and not take time to enjoy the home we’re in and the people we love. It’s good stewardship of our energy❤️
Thank you for the love and encouragement to all of us out here! I’m a SAHM of 6 children who put my career as an attorney on the back-burner to do what I consider to be much harder and more important work. I love what I do and getting to raise my children. I absolutely love and cherish my children. Society today takes the most important work for granted-staying home to raise our own children and running the household. It is very hard work, and it absolutely deserves recognition, especially when running my kids to three different schools and my amazing gymnast daughter to practice 4x/week. Yes, it can all become a strain and take its toll. We deserve to be applauded for our efforts and accomplishments, but who really notices when the house clean? Unfortunately, they only notice when it’s a mess.
This video may be one of the most important that you have made! I am going on 14 years of sleep deprivation and as I work almost constantly with my hands I am starting to experience very painful carpal tunnel. As an artist who is just beginning to be able to reclaim that part of my life it feels devastating. I am trying to figure out how to prioritize my health so I'm not completely worn out before i have the time to pursue my dreams outside of homemaking. I'm only 33 and have achieved a lot of my life goals but I never realized how burnout could/would get so bad if I could never stop or figure out how to delegate.
Jennifer, I really needed this video today. Yes, resting and relaxing is productive. Thank you for the gentle reminder to take better care of myself. Really, when we take care of ourselves, we do our families a favor because they do not need to run the household while we recover from a physical breakdown. Thank you for the reminder to read a book instead of scrolling social media! You are such a gift to us. Thank you 🌹
One day I was talking to my husband about my Grandma who had 11 kids. I said, "how did she do it all?" My husband said, "she simply didn't." She didn't work outside the home, she wasn't pto president, and on and on. He was so so right.
The homemakers I’ve gotten to know have been helping me learn self care. This problem isn’t specific to homemakers. Any talk about taking care of oneself is great. Except for when it’s starts off with the assumption that it isn’t being done. I’ve learned self care starts with appreciating what I’m already doing.
yessss... we can live our beautiful most fulfilling life by NOT burning out! I am all about exquisite self-care and healthy boundaries... I appreciate you Jennifer!
Amen and amen to this video! I have recently lost my tea time every day because we had to move and the children are not going to school during the week. I MUST reclaim that. Just need to figure out when to fit in. ❤
I can recall the exact moment that I realized that I was burnout. I was teaching full time, a mother of 3 young children and a puppy, and my husband was working long hours. I remember going down to the basement after the children were asleep to start the laundry and just staring at the enormous mound of laundry which was so daunting that I didn’t know where to start. So I didn’t start it and instead I got out my paints and paper and painted a picture of my laundry that night.
Jennifer you are making such a difference with this video , I just realized I need to get moving again and house work does not count ! Did you ever think of a weekly check in video for all of the content you just addressed? You could be all of our life coaches ❤
Thank you! We do a weekly vodcast in The Chic Society (channel memberships). Today we have a one-hour zoom call. A great place for a check-in! I always leave the link in the description box if you want to learn more about it.
Thank you Jennifer! Honestly I biggest struggle is seeing other high functioning moms on You Tube. I am a homeschooler and have two children and a 3 month old. I am slowlyyyyy working on rebuilding my business and feel like I’m falling short everyday in comparison to moms of 8 that run successful businesses.
@@TheDailyConnoisseur Thank you got your encouragement, sweet friend. You’ve made my day. You are so refreshing. I felt like you spoke straight to my heart with this video. Why does it seem like it’s getting harder instead of easier for homemakers?
Always remember those on youtube show you only what they want you to see. While it can be a great platform it can also be very damaging. All social media can be. My suggestion is to quit watching the ones that make you feel like you don’t measure up. Each of us lives a different life. Comparison is never healthy. Perfection is unrealistic. Do what you can but remember your children won’t be young very long, so take a breath and enjoy them. None of us knows how long we get to be on this earth. At the end I promise we won’t care that our homes weren’t perfect, or even how well our businesses did, but did we make the most of each day? Did we take time to enjoy nature, to just sit and enjoy our relationship with our Creator, to enjoy friends, our pets, our families and our precious children?
Thank you for saying out loud what I’ve been feeling these past few months. Feeling burned out and overwhelmed is a real struggle for me lately. I’m doing my best to connect with people and make some new friends that understand these issues.
Jennifer, I really needed to hear this! I don't even have a job outside the home and still get overwhelmed trying to do everything. I started learning to sew years ago but it has been on the back burner, no more , I will make a effort to get back to it, as well as exercising! Thanks for your continued motivation ❤
Hi im a homemaker and work part time with two kids. I never have the time to break out my sewing machine and make something, but I always bring an old bag with a hand sewing project. I've made a lot clothes for my kids and me in those small pockets of time. And it's way more relaxing to have something in my hands when I'm waiting on the kids or the bus.
@@tinnerste2507 yes! I do the same with knitting. And as the kids get older you can totally sit and do you thing while the kids are with you. i often knit while my kids are reading their books or drawing or doing other things.
This was a great and timely video as I have been feeling the squeeze this season. Between juggling work, homeschooling with a very demanding toddler, ministry, and starting a new business, I’m having to pause and set some healthy boundaries that include time for me. Love all your reminders. We are a multicultural family, so for foreign languages we are learning Korean, Spanish and ASL.
Thank you so much for the lovely video. I'm a mom of 4 and expecting baby no.5 currently ill with morning sickness and a household I can't keep up with. Though I dearly love my family and children, at this time I feel overwhelmed So thank you for your encouragement ❤
I’m one of your older viewers and the sleep deprivation I experience these days has more to do with menopause. However, I love this video for your viewers that are in the mommy stage of life. It is so kind of you to share this validation. I hope they will heed your advice because these suggestions would be very helpful. The time passes very quickly and you don’t want to be run ragged by the time they are teenagers. As always, Jennifer, you are a treasure.
Thanks for these tips. I have always worked and balanced running a household, looking after kids and caring for my MIL. Now, things are less hectic and I realized it's time for ME to do everything I wanted to but couldn't until now. Recently I have reclaimed reading, breathing, sleep and exercise. These are essential for my well being now and for my future. Also, thanks to the pandemic I have learned to be content being at home and cooking more, rather than being constantly running around and having a full schedule during the weekend. Life is good! Have a great weekend!!
This is so incredibly helpful. I’m going to put these on a board where I can see them everyday. Thank you again for giving a realistic approach that so many of us struggle with. One thing I’m guilty of is taking on everything myself instead of delegating tasks to other equally capable people.
The interesting thing here is that yes, these things are for you, but the benefits are for those around you as well when you're healthier, have a better attitude, etc. We embrace Sabbath rest. Sunday is a day for faith, family, friendships, and rest. Nonessential chores can wait. I love it! It feeds my soul and my relationships.
Oh Jennifer, your voice is calming, the background music is peaceful-- I always feel better after I listen to you. I needed this video. God bless you for your UA-cam ministry.
I need to concentrate on reclaiming my sleep and exercise. I can attest to the benefits of enjoying hobbies, but I will say that life has seasons. I didn’t spend much time on my hobbies when my children were small, but I knew the day would come so I didn’t stress over not being able to devote time to them. I heard somewhere that rest is a weapon. I love what you shared about it. Excellent!
This is so refreshing. Watching your videos, I didn't know you worked while your kids slept at the expense of your own sleep - I assumed you somehow were superhuman and did it all while they were awake! It's good to remember you can't do it all and I burnout when I trt
So amazing and so timely, it starts from the title of your video we have to reclaim our life instead of blaming our self, as a modern day mom we do really have a lot on our plate,thanks Jennifer ❤
How timely for me! What you said is exactly what I've been experiencing. I think that burnout is definitely caused by the feeling of having to have to do it all but equally when you lose structure. I have been focusing on doing the most important task in the early hours of the day and the anything else is just a bonus (eg. laundry, car wash, hoover).
Thank you, this is a must watch for all overwhelmed and overworked. You are a breathe of fresh air! Truly enjoy your channel! Been a member for years, and will continue to. I have learned so much from you.
Thank you Jennifer, your videos are always insightful. This one is a great reminder of time we need to set aside for ourselves. I live in Senegal - West Africa a Francophone country. I love the Babbel app though over the 9 years I've lived here I still have not learnt French fully. But today as I though... I don't really know what my hobbies are because I don't get to read much anymore, I listen more to audio books and watch utube videos because I am a pretty new health and nutrition coach, as my kids are now 18, 16 & 6. I'm now beginning to think more about myself. Thanks again for sharing.
Reclaiming hobbies and finding new ones definitely changed my attitude toward homemaking. It is so much more fun to know that my days and weeks filled with not just chores and errands, but also with things I enjoy doing. I have to say, it was hard to allow myself to have fun, while my husband is working. I felt like I should be working as well. Cooking, washing etc. But know I can see, everyone wins when I'm more relaxed, have more energy, and more motivated to get laundry done if after that I schedule time for myself.
Thank you so much for this video. I am also a homemaker and work a couple of days in the office and a couple at home. I do have some hobbies which help. Sometimes I feel like breaking down because I am overwhelmed but then try and take some time out to relax.
Thank you for this video. I was an “at home” homemaker for 16 years, and started my working career in my late forties. It was so much working at the office, at home, keeping up with the kids school activities, husband, dog, friends, parents, ALL of it!! I felt like such a failure as my home looked nothing like it did when I was tending it full time, but getting a cleaning service somehow felt like cheating to me. I should be able to do it all, right? However, it all became too much and last month I hired a service and it is such a relief! You’re words in this video are very reassuring and much needed. Thank you for your content.
Thank you for this video! I love your honesty about learning you needed more sleep. I remember your channel then and you talking about how you stay up late and wake up early, and that you don’t need more sleep - I was worried about you, and I might have even commented that haha. One thing I’ve done the last few years is read again. I had almost completely stopped reading and thought I didn’t have time. Now I read several different books throughout the day, in bites here and there. I always keep a book in the car to read when my husband is driving. I keep one to read when I put the toddler down for her nap. I always have an audiobook to listen to while doing housework. I often follow along with the Literary Life Podcast. It’s amazing how much you can get read in little bits of consistent reading!
These are great tips! Thank you Jennifer! My way of coping with burn out has been eating - mostly unhealthy! This makes for an ugly vicious circle! Thank you for the encouragement and making it sound achievable!
Hi Jennifer. Thankyou so much for this very important video. Over the years I too have struggled. One thing I did change, which took the pressure off me socially was change work to paid employment. I would say no I don't work I'm a homemaker! WRONG! So I now say I'm not currently in paid employment. You know what, it feels GOOD. I have implementmented the 10 minute plan and applied it to hobbies, exercising etc so when spare time is in short supply this 10 minutes is achievable. Could u plse continue on with your homemaking series. I LOVE IT. Cheers Beverley. Australia ❤
Amazing subject. I came from the generation that no one ever used that lovely word Homemaker. Almost as though it didn't exist. I have two lovely daughter-in-laws, one who is a homemaker full-time and another who needs to work out side the home. Homemaking is a lovely profession so glad is is coming back into the language. All the parents of both girls and boys need to teach children what homemaking is, its a wonderful way to live. It isn't druggery, it takes work and time, no monetary reward. But the reward is still there.
I think there is a monetary reward of sorts, as it would be much more expensive to employ people to do the individual tasks that a homemaker undertakes for free.
It use to be easier in the old days when grandparents helped out with your young children. Grandparents are not always as available as it used to be due to our different "modern" life style. We are separated from our families more than in the past. Maybe we should learn from the past!
What a great topic! I have experienced this and have been on the edge of burnout - working long hours, homeschooling, home making - I was forced into making changes and it has been very life giving. I have been tired for a long time and am slowly regaining energy and rediscovering hobbies. It would be great it you were able to explore relaxation further in an upcoming video. I might need some ideas of what to actually do :)
Thank you for your encouragement and practical advice. I'm a homemaker, homeschool mom of 4 young children, and working 2 small businesses from my home. Wow, I can relate to so many things you said! 😍 I often stay up late to work. I'm in that season of life that you mentioned. Thank you for the advice to get to sleep in as long as I can. The nursing baby is often my alarm clock. 😂
I’m in the young child phase so sleep is simply a roller coaster. But I do try to nap when he’s napping. The biggest revive is doing some devotional or time with God while napping (well, resting)! Thank you for this video, it’s encouraging to not feel like I have to do everything perfectly and something is better then nothing. Thankful my mother in law has helped with meals and that is a huge burden off my shoulders right now.
Homemaking is the profession that makes everything else possible. It is the backbone of society. I have two young children and also work full time and I love your channel. Thank you ❤
Yes! I do it all at home...and I did it plus I used to work a full time job. I finally told my husband that I can either do it all at home or work full time but not both. Maybe some women can do it all but I don't want to it all at work AND at home. Luckily, he agreed ( and we can afford it) so I stopped working outside the home and now I'm much happier, much less resenful and our marriage is much better!❤❤
Great message and video Jennifer! I have a hard time relaxing as I work full time and on my days off I am busy with catching up on housework and other things I need to do. But it’s so important to make time for all the things you mentioned in this video. 💜
Thank you so much for making this video! I am dealing with burnt out as a homemaker and working mom of two! I am going to implement your suggested strategies today!
I try to prioritize my work/chores over my “hobbies” but doesn’t always happen. 😅 Glad to hear maybe this is ok as I’ve been told by many people, including work colleagues and family members to give up my hobbies until I retire.
I’ve been thinking about Babble! Last year we went to Italy and my brother in law ended up in the hospital for 2 wks and WOW how I wish we had known how to speak Italian! It was such a frightening experience not being able to fully communicate with the hospital staff. We are going to France next year, so French is on my list to learn!
I’ve had to remember that I’m a human being that needs to be cared for alongside of my family. If my kids are playing sometimes I play alongside. I need food so I eat with my kids. My kids get regular baths/showers that means I do too. I don’t make myself less than my kids and I don’t make myself above my kids.
Oh Jennifer, so aptly timed as usual. I am so burnt out I could cry. I am pregnant with a baby with fetal growth restriction so I really need to rest but I have a 2 and 4 yr old to take care of. It feels like I will never rest again... I know it's so worthwhile but I don't know how I'm going to get through these little years.
I hope you enjoyed today's video. Thank you to Babbel for sponsoring! Start speaking a new language in 3 weeks with Babbel 🎉 Get up to 60% OFF your subscription here ➡ go.babbel.com/t?bsc=1200m60-youtube-thedailyconnoisseur-may-2023&btp=default&UA-cam&Influencer..thedailyconnoisseur..USA..UA-cam I would love to know if you resonated with today's discussion. Let us know in the comments. Thank you for watching! Love, Jennifer
I am a homemaker for years and I actually believe I'm made for it, but what I find scary is the way we're disrespected and looked down to by society. That makes you feel burned out. People and some husband's think, if you're actually enjoying being a homemaker and thrive in that environment, you're probably simply doing nothing all day!
It's unbelievable the devaluing of my full time profession!!!
❤
Yes! It’s such a privilege to have a spouse and children who actually appreciate you and see your hard work.
I think you are correct. I've been a homemaker for 22 yrs. I have 3 kids. I have done all the cooking, cleaning, yardwork, grocery shopping+ help husband with our side business. I've suffered from burnout several times. It was NEVER from the work. It was from the total devaluation of my role in the larger society, as well as from many friends & family members. It wares you down when you feel invisible, disrespected, misunderstood, and taken for granted.
I've had to REALLY work hard at challenging the cultural beliefs around homemaking and "testing" their validity.
Is cleaning worthless? Then WHY is it so valued in a 5 star hotel? Is homemaking mindless and repetitive? Well, so are many data entry jobs that people do for pay. So, mindless, repetitive work is worthy as long as it comes with a paycheque?
The more I challenge these ideas, the more I realize that my value and my purpose cannot be found reflected in others or culture at large. ♥️🇨🇦
@@amandazplace5663 that’s really good reasoning. I always think of live in maids. No one thinks there lazy or their life is gravy. A homemaker does the same jobs as a live in maid she just doesn’t make the same salary.
It's very easy to shut down people like that. Just make a list of all the tasks involved in homemaking plus the yearly salary for each task and read it to them.
Having said that, it is not the actual tasks that are devalued, it's the fact that a woman is doing it. Most hairdressers are women, but most of the famous hairdressers are men and the same goes for cooking and fashion.
When women became nurses, teachers and office workers in large numbers, the salaries and prestige of all these professions immediately plummeted.
Theres a page in the book, "the private world of tasha tudor" p 60-61 where tasha talks about just sitting on her porch in the evening. Its made an impression on me so much so that ive returned to that page recently and decided that i will include sitting on my veranda and sipping herbal tea each evening. My dog joins me and for the past few months ive watched night after night as the moon waxes and wanes and moves across the sky. I listen to the frogs and bats and wind in the trees and just observe and think. Its unbelievably relaxing. Just for 15 mins or so before going to bed and reading a cosy crime novel. No more netflix. I get to sleep so much earlier because im not tempted to stay up watching tv.
I absolutely love that you drink herbal tea in the evenings on your verandah. 🤗🌹
I Love this!
Tasha was a magical woman!
What a great idea!
You cannot pour 🩷 from an empty cup. As the beautiful song goes "Fill my cup, Lord, I lift it up Lord!" God is in the self love of rest and relaxation, also.
Absolutely needed to hear this. I’m a homemaker, homeschool mom and I have 4 children. My youngest now is 4 months and exclusively breastfeeding. I always put myself last. I spent my tea time today watching this and I am so glad that I did. Such a perfect topic for this time of my life.
Totally get it! In a similar boat... So good for us to be watching her! She is so encouraging !!
I'm in the same place Bethany. 4 kids ages 7 down to newborn. 3 of them in diapers and we homeschool. From one sahm to another, you're amazing!!
This is so true! I'm a 56 year old homeschool mama of 12 children. I still have 5 students at home ranging from 17-8 years old. Even after 29 years of homeschooling, I still have 10 years to go!
A few years ago, I realized I had "lost myself." I first brought in relaxing and sleep. I take short breaks several times a day in my bedroom where I created a "nook" to relax in with tea and a book. I say goodnight to my family and am in bed by 9:30. I often read or watch a video before I sleep. They all stay up later than me.
I also brought back my creative side by sewing and crafting again. I'm getting so much pleasure and joy out of it! My husband set up cabinets and tables for me to work on these hobbies. He's very supportive. He told me he doesn't care if I ever sell the things I'm making because he sees how happy I am making them. 🥰
I also noticed that I move fast through my daily homemaking and hold my breath. I'm so glad you mentioned it! I'm conscious of it and working on it. I do need to incorporate daily exercise and sunshine .
Self care is so important. Take care of your feet-get pedicure regularly. Take your supplements. Count your glasses of water to make sure you're getting enough. Dye your hair if it makes you feel pretty. Wear makeup at home if you would feel more confident. Yesterday I WAS tired so I didn't wear any makeup (rare for me) , and my 11 year old said, "Mama, you look tired today". 😑
I have taught all my children how to cook and bake. They can get along fine when I am gone. When I need help in the kitchen or want a complete break from it, I can assign it to them and do something else! 😁 My 14 year old son asked me if he could make French bread yesterday--his specialty. He was excited to try the new silicon molds I'd just ordered for him. 😉
I have the teens do all their own laundry, a blessing to me as it frees up some time, as well as teaches them the life skill and responsibility.
I have been married for 36 years and have been a mother for 32. Homemaking is a joy, but it is more than full-time as it is 24/7. We don't "leave it at the office," so to speak. Especially if we homeschool as well.
As a veteran mom, I encourage others to consider implementing the points in the video. Starting with one thing, then trying another....
Thank you for this video! This is an important one, and I wish I had realized these things in my 30's instead of in my 50's!
I’m a homeschooling mama of 5, from almost nine years old down to my 8 month old. Just wanted to say your message really blessed me and was lovely to read! What a beautiful life!
One of my hobbies is playing video games, and I got so focused on work, doomscrolling, and trying to stay ahead of housework, that I had a huge backlog of games I hadn’t finished or even started. And I’m a single person living by myself! So homemakers with careers and/or families to look after, PLEASE have grace for yourself. You’re doing so much.
As a homemaker, homeschool mom of 5, I find that perspective is the biggest factor in my happiness. If I choose to feel this as a special season that will not last forever, and aggressively search out all the reasons to be grateful for my present life and circumstances, I do not experience the burnout. I've changed all of my "I have to do" to "I get to do" and it is life-giving!
Coincidentally, watching your videos is part of my relaxation “me-time”! 💕
I love that. Thank you!
I second that!! ❤😊
Be gentle with yourself Jennifer. You are dealing with the grief of the loss of your father in law , and the worries about your Father’s health , I think you also said that Ben had been away in England to help his Mother with the business following on from his Fathers death last summer , so you will have been managing the children on your own during his absences , and must miss him badly when he has to be away . You have been through so much trauma and grief over the past year, not to mention all the stresses of the pandemic before that . Please take good care of yourself ❤️🙏sending love from the UK x
Thank you SO MUCH for acknowledging that people who work full-time jobs outside the home are homemakers, too. This recognition brought tears to my eyes. Often we are labeled "career women" who neglect our homes and families. That couldn't be further from the truth. I have immeasurable respect for people who have made homemaking their full-time job. Part of me would love to do that, but I get so much fulfillment from my job and the community I've built around it, and that benefits my home life. Still, my top priority is my family, and I work hard at providing a stable, nurturing, and loving environment for us all.
Although I have a supportive spouse and a helpfuI teen, I still get burned out. (That's where I am right now, so this video is especially timely!) I've let several (ok...all) of these self-care habits fall by the wayside. I appreciate the reminder, and thanks again for recognizing that working-outside-the-home people are homemakers, too. ❤ 🏡
Totally agree!!
YESSSSS
This should be the subject of your next book! What a great topic…I recently discovered that what Ive been experiencing is burnout, so I’m glad I’m not alone in this experience ❤❤
Currently found out I was in burn out as well after 5 years of battling anxiety. No my friend you are not alone. The good news is once you treat the burn out life gets better. I’m working on it 🙌
The pandemic broke sooooo many of us with endless hours of work with no relief, thank you for your strategies to help usreclaim ourselves! Just breathe!
Mum of 7 here - this is a lovely and much needed message! I just finished a lesson in my bible study group about rest so this was very timely 😂
This is relevant today, and it always has been!
On Monday, I was doing so awful (no, mothers day was not relaxing), that I texted my husband & older kids that I was not making dinner and was going out for the evening. Packed a cold supper and brought a book to a quiet waterfront place. Getting outdoors always helps.
Oh, I love that!
I find getting outside always helps too! Good on you for making it happen :)
Perfect advice! In my 67 years, I have been a married stay-at-home mom, a married working mom, a single working mom, a working married empty-nester. I am now married and retired. Each stage was an exercise in prioritization. Fortunately, I was always "selfish" enough to put myself and what I wanted to do as a priority after the absolutely essential was accomplished. And the 6 things you mentioned were always part of that. Exercise, hobbies, relaxation to me are the trifecta contributing to a great life. At this stage of life, I think of myself as even more of a manager than ever; my one partner has to always be asked to do something. I was hoping it would not be looked at as him "helping" do my work, but taking on some of the tasks as his work. Even though we have discussed this several times, it just hasn't happened and I am resigned to my fate! But, some things don't get done as often or as well as the standards my mom instilled in me would demand. I haven't lowered my standards so much as put some of them aside for a new normal. Best wishes to all the homemakers out there; live your best life at whatever season you are in!
Totally me. Never ending nervous energy which is a blessing but can be a curse. So hard for me to sit down & relax with the family. 😳 I have seen my mother do this & know how hurtful it can be when a mom doesn’t. “Mom come sit down & join us” I know how important it is to take time to sit & veg with the kids I’m working at it.
Thank you so much for this encouragement. My son is 16 months and the sleep component has been key. I am thankful that i was well prepared before his birth, and had gotten a deep freezer filled with meals. Even still, the workload of cleaning seemed neverending! But thankfully, before his birth, i had read somewhere that a mother of a newborn (especially if nursing) should think about how many hours she needed of sleep each night to feel rested, and that she should commit to actually SLEEPING that amount each night. So if i need 7 hours of sleep to manage, and i get up in the night twice to feed baby and change diapers, my 7 hours of sleep may take me 9 hours. The key is to NOT try to do anything extra during those hours. Change diapers, feed, back to bed. Even if it was 7 AM, if i didn't feel rested enough, I went back to bed with my baby. This strategy helped me tremendously. I know it will be different when we add another child to the mix (God willing), but I do think prioritizing sleep is key to avoiding burnout, especially as a new mom.
This is so true. I did the same and everyone asked " nah are you so sleep deprived with your baby?" I said no. But free time or screen time there was not much. At least I got sleep !
I wish I had done this! Very wise...
When you add an other child to the mix, the older one can watch peppa pig :D and you go back to sleep. Or if possible your husband let's you sleep in. Or you go to bed earlier and the husband helps with the kids. I did this. And it is possible to get enough sleep with two kids. (One a baby) but it must be the highest priority .
@@florencejoy5209 That's great to hear that you managed to still get your sleep with two! Seriously, I cannot be happy in life without enough sleep lol. It's so very important to me.
@@kendrascorner I understand you so well.
I was about to watch older videos on this channel because I’m so inspired by Jennifer… then I see a new video is available and I literally gasped. Happy day!
I'm happy you're here! Thank you!
I sure could have used these helpful tips when I was in this season of my life!! 😊
I lived off-grid on 100 acres in the backwoods of Maine with my husband, my mom who has dementia, and my 6 children. We homeschooled, as well...Our favorite project was keeping nature journals..There were moose, black bears, etc., so much to write about!!
Living off-grid meant a whole lot more chores...Just to have hot water was a process! 😂
I would have crawled into a hole if all my children hadn't helped out!! 🤩 We worked together to keep things running smoothly! As a result, ALL 6 of them have a wonderful work ethic!
Now, my children have all moved out, and I am taking care of my mom who will be passing any day now. I am also managing my 105 acre homestead in Texas by myself now.
These helpful tips you presented in your video will also be helpful for ladies that are going through the season of life that I'm in now! ❤
I have started a Commonplace book, thanks to a video of yours, and THAT has also helped alleviate some stress by providing a creative outlet!
I love your calm, classy spirit and have several of your books in my library. I, also, listen to your books while I'm doing chores! Great stuff! 🤩
Thank you and I'm so happy you started a commonplace book!
This was such a valid subject of discussion Jennifer. I’ve come out of a time of burnout after the loss of my husband. It has taken me 5 years of seriously trying to figure out how to get back on track. I just couldn’t get my sparkle back. It wasn’t depression but total burnout. I thought my sparkle was just gone for good. Finally, I have come out of it by doing lots of decluttering, thinning out drawers, cupboards, closets, storage room and the garage. I’ve simplified bookkeeping, my wardrobe (at your direction), added in knitting, love for the Dodgers and I’ve started canning again after probably 40 years of being too busy. I’ve also become interested in decorating my home again. I even have a new puppy to my life. He’s brought joy back to my every day. I want to be sure I never get that run down again! I am saving your video so that I can take some notes. I think it would me a good reminder to myself to frame these points to where I would be reminded on a regular basis. I wondered if I’d ever get through this time. I’m happy to report that I have come out of the other side of the mountain. This video is going to be a tremendous blessing to other women homemakers. Thank you for seeing the need!
positive vibes to all out there! I am the sole human in my house with all the responsibility for a big house, three rescued dogs- one that is elderly and ill and another that has special needs- a full time career... I am the CEO of absolutely everything. When I start to feel tired, I remember that my grandmother's day, many people did not have a home to manage or a job or food or healthcare- it helps me to reframe things a bit and be grateful for all I get to manage. ❤
I imagine I’m relaxing when I’m scrolling on my phone and watching videos, etc, but when I pay attention to how I feel, I realize I’m not the least bit relaxed or refreshed when I do that. It has also become hard for me to let go of responsibilities and relax enough to enjoy reading or hobbies. All 6 tips are great but I especially love #6 about being gentle with yourself. Really great video. Thanks, Jennifer!!
Same here with the scrolling... Thank you!
That's why I left social media (only still use youtube and only on the computer) I suddenly have so much more time to read.
Thank you, I needed this. While knowing God would not give me more than I could bear, this week I cried out to Him saying I could not do it anymore. The next day I lost my part time job. (I homeschool, help my husband with our business, home maker, preserver, and had a part time job while my husbands arm was healing from a horrible break) I am sure I was the most joyful person to have ever lost their job! I have a cello sitting in my room waiting for me!
So you actually had 4 jobs in total in addition to running a home? Wow!
This is a wonderful video, Jennifer! I agree with absolutely all of it. My children range from 22-27, so my challenges are seemingly different although I can relate to so much. Sometimes I actually feel like this stage is harder. As parents we lose that ability (and rightly so) to make everyday decisions for our children. The last three years have been incredibly difficult for parents of teenagers and young adults. The information-or lack of information-has been overwhelming. Being gentle with oneself and praying, breathing, focusing on hobbies and relaxation is crucial now, more than ever, I believe. Also, sleep as you age can be elusive too. Menopause brings on a new set of challenges in this category!
Thank you for bringing us relevant insights every single time you post! ❤
Thank you ♥
We just got a house almost a year ago and I’m still in new homeowner mode. I decided I wanted to be a homemaker while working full time. Even though I like my work and career, I found homemaking very fulfilling. Not everything is unpacked yet, maintaining the house takes such care and I’ve been feeling over my head balancing both. Thank you for this video
Thanks so much for the encouragement to reclaim our own lives, Jennifer! There is one time-claiming activity that pulls you away from taking care of yourself that you didn't mention but is a rabbit hole we women often go down and that's being a "professional" volunteer. I have spent my adult life as a mother, homemaker and "full-time" volunteer...our daughter's schools, the neighborhood & community, and church all claimed large quantities of my attention over the years...to the point that I really felt like all my time belonged to others. Now our daughter is grown with a daughter of her own which I think has led people to believe that I should spend even MORE time volunteering. I understand...worthy organizations NEED volunteers and the pool of volunteers grows ever smaller as people spend more time focusing on careers and other pursuits...but to say I am burned out is a massive understatement. Had already decided that I'm going to reclaim more of my time this year before I saw this video but find myself wavering a bit when I think of all that needs doing and how few are stepping up to do it. Think I'm going to bookmark this video and rewatch it every time I start to say "yes" when I really want (and deserve) to say "no." Thanks again!
This is so true. I have recently started putting up boundaries in this area too with everything I'm going through looking after my dad... ♥
@@TheDailyConnoisseur As a daughter who also took on a huge share of taking care of my parents in their later years, I can't stress enough the need to have boundaries and stick to them. It's amazing how much other people think you can handle and having been through it has made me aware to be gentle in my expectations of others. We really can't know everything that's going on in other people's lives. I don't regret a minute I devoted to them but I know my own and the prayers of others are what got me through so you have mine, as well. Prayers for your dad, as well.
My goodness I can so relate to this. I am a homeschooling mom. My husbands works full time so I’m basically in charge of all the cleaning, laundry, cooking, school work, etc…. (You know the drill) and I was also volunteering 18 hours a week to a volunteer work. Couple this with spending time with both sets of families and I have found myself burnt at both ends. However I’ve been doing this for more than 14 years! It was only this year that I started to scale back. I also did all other volunteer service for Ukranian refugees and was learning Russian and Ukranian ( been taking lessons). When I realized I was in burn out it changed everything for me. I’m now learning to rest again which is oddly uncomfortable for me but I’m getting better at it. I’m realizing what my husband has told me for years is so true “just because you can doesn’t mean you should.”
@@ComplicatedSimplicite I LOVE what your husband told you!!! Think I'm going to print it out and tape it to my mirror in the bathroom! "Just because you can doesn't mean you should"...what great advice!
@@ComplicatedSimplicite your husband is wise! Yes, people think just because we are home, we have nothing to do. The meals are cooked magically, the laundry is done magically, food appears in the refrigerator magically, and so on.
Any mamas with autoimmune conditions here? It forces you to slow down and try to prioritize yourself better. Know that you’re not alone and you’re in my prayers. ❤🙏
You are very blessed to have a cooperative and helpful husband.
Thanks Jennifer, I take a lot of happiness in my identity as a homemaker, Mother, wife and host of long term family house guests. Lately I have really struggled as I am in my first trimester and having terrible 24hour nausea and daily vomiting :( I feel like a failure as I can hardly put away my laundry, cook dinner, and it is hard to see things in disarray. So I thank you for your message. It’s been a bit depressing and I will change the way I look at this chapter.
Mom of a large family here. Try drinking kombucha for nausea during pregnancy. It has done wonders for me !
I missed this 1 because I started a week of watering grass 🌱 while having my coffee. It became a truly delightful respite. Our pup joins me
Six months ago I experienced burnout and I think I've been courting it for years. I told my husband what I was experiencing and we came up with a system to make sure I got 1-2 evenings "off." Our middle child struggled to go to sleep in the evenings and by the time she was asleep, it was time for me to go to bed and I hadn't had any time to decompress. So I either went to bed stressed or stayed up and got even less sleep.
Other things besides dedicated time to myself: hot baths and exercise help force my body to release stored stress, sewing and creating, trying new things like learning to grow sprouts, learning when to call mental health days for homeschooling (ditching the books and going outside together, etc), and eating more fresh fruits and veggies.
Thank you Jennifer! This is important to talk about. Homemaking, parenting, and homeschooling are marvelous choices and opportunities so when you express difficulty, many people just blame your choice instead of acknowledging that all choices have hard days and seasons, but that doesn't make those choices wrong. ❤️
Yes to your last paragraph about your life choices. I am a homeschooling mother of four ages 7 down to newborn. People are so mean, and will say things like well that was your life choice. It's cruel! Thank you for what you said because it is so true. Not to mention the fact that this life is not about doing what is easy but what is right. I want my kids my husband and I to be holy and that takes extreme time and effort.
This resonated so strongly with me that it brought me to tears. I greatly appreciate the compassion and empathy you felt and shared with us. I have had some help over the years but I do find keeping up with things to be overwhelming with society's fast pace. Everyone and everything feels so rushed anymore, but I do find home keeping comforting and appreciate that there is this wonderful platform and group that also appreciates this as well. It had been becoming a lost art but with your platform and group it feels like there is still an appreciation for it. Thank you Jennifer and hope you and everyone in this group has a wonderful weekend. ☺️🥀🫖
This was SUCH a timely reminder. I really tend to push myself and struggle to relax, even after two heart attacks in the last year. (I’m 41) I HAVE to learn that relaxing before the work is finished is ok, even noble, for the sake of my health and longevity.
We have too much to live for, ladies, to work ourselves completely out and not take time to enjoy the home we’re in and the people we love. It’s good stewardship of our energy❤️
Thank you for the love and encouragement to all of us out here! I’m a SAHM of 6 children who put my career as an attorney on the back-burner to do what I consider to be much harder and more important work. I love what I do and getting to raise my children. I absolutely love and cherish my children. Society today takes the most important work for granted-staying home to raise our own children and running the household. It is very hard work, and it absolutely deserves recognition, especially when running my kids to three different schools and my amazing gymnast daughter to practice 4x/week. Yes, it can all become a strain and take its toll. We deserve to be applauded for our efforts and accomplishments, but who really notices when the house clean? Unfortunately, they only notice when it’s a mess.
Jennifer finding your book and channel has changed the way I view all things homemaking! “Living well at home “
This video may be one of the most important that you have made! I am going on 14 years of sleep deprivation and as I work almost constantly with my hands I am starting to experience very painful carpal tunnel. As an artist who is just beginning to be able to reclaim that part of my life it feels devastating. I am trying to figure out how to prioritize my health so I'm not completely worn out before i have the time to pursue my dreams outside of homemaking. I'm only 33 and have achieved a lot of my life goals but I never realized how burnout could/would get so bad if I could never stop or figure out how to delegate.
You sound like my therapist. I love this! Following these tips really has been life changing to me. ❤
Jennifer, I really needed this video today. Yes, resting and relaxing is productive. Thank you for the gentle reminder to take better care of myself. Really, when we take care of ourselves, we do our families a favor because they do not need to run the household while we recover from a physical breakdown.
Thank you for the reminder to read a book instead of scrolling social media!
You are such a gift to us. Thank you 🌹
Thank you, Luba!
One day I was talking to my husband about my Grandma who had 11 kids. I said, "how did she do it all?"
My husband said, "she simply didn't."
She didn't work outside the home, she wasn't pto president, and on and on.
He was so so right.
We should also remember that children were expected to help in the home and on the land in those days, and they also left school much earlier.
The homemakers I’ve gotten to know have been helping me learn self care.
This problem isn’t specific to homemakers.
Any talk about taking care of oneself is great. Except for when it’s starts off with the assumption that it isn’t being done.
I’ve learned self care starts with appreciating what I’m already doing.
Italian - I’m totally downloading this! Thank you for this video, Jennifer. God bless you and yours!🤗
yessss... we can live our beautiful most fulfilling life by NOT burning out! I am all about exquisite self-care and healthy boundaries... I appreciate you Jennifer!
Amen and amen to this video! I have recently lost my tea time every day because we had to move and the children are not going to school during the week. I MUST reclaim that. Just need to figure out when to fit in. ❤
I can recall the exact moment that I realized that I was burnout. I was teaching full time, a mother of 3 young children and a puppy, and my husband was working long hours. I remember going down to the basement after the children were asleep to start the laundry and just staring at the enormous mound of laundry which was so daunting that I didn’t know where to start. So I didn’t start it and instead I got out my paints and paper and painted a picture of my laundry that night.
Jennifer you are making such a difference with this video , I just realized I need to get moving again and house work does not count ! Did you ever think of a weekly check in video for all of the content you just addressed? You could be all of our life coaches ❤
Thank you! We do a weekly vodcast in The Chic Society (channel memberships). Today we have a one-hour zoom call. A great place for a check-in! I always leave the link in the description box if you want to learn more about it.
Wonderful advice Jennifer! It’s been so amazing to watch you grow in health and wisdom over the years.
Thank you!
Thank you Jennifer! Honestly I biggest struggle is seeing other high functioning moms on You Tube. I am a homeschooler and have two children and a 3 month old. I am slowlyyyyy working on rebuilding my business and feel like I’m falling short everyday in comparison to moms of 8 that run successful businesses.
You do so much, Nicole! You are inspiring!
@@TheDailyConnoisseur Thank you got your encouragement, sweet friend. You’ve made my day. You are so refreshing. I felt like you spoke straight to my heart with this video. Why does it seem like it’s getting harder instead of easier for homemakers?
For*
Always remember those on youtube show you only what they want you to see. While it can be a great platform it can also be very damaging. All social media can be.
My suggestion is to quit watching the ones that make you feel like you don’t measure up.
Each of us lives a different life. Comparison is never healthy.
Perfection is unrealistic.
Do what you can but remember your children won’t be young very long, so take a breath and enjoy them.
None of us knows how long we get to be on this earth. At the end I promise we won’t care that our homes weren’t perfect, or even how well our businesses did, but did we make the most of each day? Did we take time to enjoy nature, to just sit and enjoy our relationship with our Creator, to enjoy friends, our pets, our families and our precious children?
Thank you for saying out loud what I’ve been feeling these past few months. Feeling burned out and overwhelmed is a real struggle for me lately.
I’m doing my best to connect with people and make some new friends that understand these issues.
Jennifer, I really needed to hear this! I don't even have a job outside the home and still get overwhelmed trying to do everything. I started learning to sew years ago but it has been on the back burner, no more , I will make a effort to get back to it, as well as exercising! Thanks for your continued motivation ❤
I hope you make time for sewing!
Hi im a homemaker and work part time with two kids. I never have the time to break out my sewing machine and make something, but I always bring an old bag with a hand sewing project. I've made a lot clothes for my kids and me in those small pockets of time. And it's way more relaxing to have something in my hands when I'm waiting on the kids or the bus.
@@tinnerste2507 yes! I do the same with knitting. And as the kids get older you can totally sit and do you thing while the kids are with you. i often knit while my kids are reading their books or drawing or doing other things.
This was a great and timely video as I have been feeling the squeeze this season. Between juggling work, homeschooling with a very demanding toddler, ministry, and starting a new business, I’m having to pause and set some healthy boundaries that include time for me.
Love all your reminders. We are a multicultural family, so for foreign languages we are learning Korean, Spanish and ASL.
Thank you so much for the lovely video. I'm a mom of 4 and expecting baby no.5 currently ill with morning sickness and a household I can't keep up with. Though I dearly love my family and children, at this time I feel overwhelmed
So thank you for your encouragement ❤
I’m one of your older viewers and the sleep deprivation I experience these days has more to do with menopause. However, I love this video for your viewers that are in the mommy stage of life. It is so kind of you to share this validation. I hope they will heed your advice because these suggestions would be very helpful. The time passes very quickly and you don’t want to be run ragged by the time they are teenagers. As always, Jennifer, you are a treasure.
That green T-shirt really makes your green eyes stand out
Thanks for these tips. I have always worked and balanced running a household, looking after kids and caring for my MIL. Now, things are less hectic and I realized it's time for ME to do everything I wanted to but couldn't until now. Recently I have reclaimed reading, breathing, sleep and exercise. These are essential for my well being now and for my future. Also, thanks to the pandemic I have learned to be content being at home and cooking more, rather than being constantly running around and having a full schedule during the weekend. Life is good! Have a great weekend!!
The last one made me cry ❤️🩹🌹😭
This is so incredibly helpful. I’m going to put these on a board where I can see them everyday. Thank you again for giving a realistic approach that so many of us struggle with. One thing I’m guilty of is taking on everything myself instead of delegating tasks to other equally capable people.
❤Thank you for addressing this❤
The interesting thing here is that yes, these things are for you, but the benefits are for those around you as well when you're healthier, have a better attitude, etc. We embrace Sabbath rest. Sunday is a day for faith, family, friendships, and rest. Nonessential chores can wait. I love it! It feeds my soul and my relationships.
Having raised 2 children as a stay-at-home mom, this is solid advice!
Oh Jennifer, your voice is calming, the background music is peaceful-- I always feel better after I listen to you.
I needed this video. God bless you for your UA-cam ministry.
I need to concentrate on reclaiming my sleep and exercise. I can attest to the benefits of enjoying hobbies, but I will say that life has seasons. I didn’t spend much time on my hobbies when my children were small, but I knew the day would come so I didn’t stress over not being able to devote time to them. I heard somewhere that rest is a weapon. I love what you shared about it. Excellent!
This is so refreshing. Watching your videos, I didn't know you worked while your kids slept at the expense of your own sleep - I assumed you somehow were superhuman and did it all while they were awake! It's good to remember you can't do it all and I burnout when I trt
So amazing and so timely, it starts from the title of your video we have to reclaim our life instead of blaming our self, as a modern day mom we do really have a lot on our plate,thanks Jennifer ❤
How timely for me! What you said is exactly what I've been experiencing. I think that burnout is definitely caused by the feeling of having to have to do it all but equally when you lose structure. I have been focusing on doing the most important task in the early hours of the day and the anything else is just a bonus (eg. laundry, car wash, hoover).
Thank you, this is a must watch for all overwhelmed and overworked. You are a breathe of fresh air! Truly enjoy your channel! Been a member for years, and will continue to. I have learned so much from you.
Yes! And Amen!
Thank you Jennifer, your videos are always insightful. This one is a great reminder of time we need to set aside for ourselves.
I live in Senegal - West Africa a Francophone country. I love the Babbel app though over the 9 years I've lived here I still have not learnt French fully. But today as I though... I don't really know what my hobbies are because I don't get to read much anymore, I listen more to audio books and watch utube videos because I am a pretty new health and nutrition coach, as my kids are now 18, 16 & 6. I'm now beginning to think more about myself.
Thanks again for sharing.
Reclaiming hobbies and finding new ones definitely changed my attitude toward homemaking. It is so much more fun to know that my days and weeks filled with not just chores and errands, but also with things I enjoy doing.
I have to say, it was hard to allow myself to have fun, while my husband is working. I felt like I should be working as well. Cooking, washing etc. But know I can see, everyone wins when I'm more relaxed, have more energy, and more motivated to get laundry done if after that I schedule time for myself.
Thank you so much for this video. I am also a homemaker and work a couple of days in the office and a couple at home. I do have some hobbies which help. Sometimes I feel like breaking down because I am overwhelmed but then try and take some time out to relax.
Thank you for this video. I was an “at home” homemaker for 16 years, and started my working career in my late forties. It was so much working at the office, at home, keeping up with the kids school activities, husband, dog, friends, parents, ALL of it!! I felt like such a failure as my home looked nothing like it did when I was tending it full time, but getting a cleaning service somehow felt like cheating to me. I should be able to do it all, right? However, it all became too much and last month I hired a service and it is such a relief! You’re words in this video are very reassuring and much needed. Thank you for your content.
The item about relaxation really hit home for me. So, I’m going to take half an hour right now to relax!
Thank you for this video! I love your honesty about learning you needed more sleep. I remember your channel then and you talking about how you stay up late and wake up early, and that you don’t need more sleep - I was worried about you, and I might have even commented that haha. One thing I’ve done the last few years is read again. I had almost completely stopped reading and thought I didn’t have time. Now I read several different books throughout the day, in bites here and there. I always keep a book in the car to read when my husband is driving. I keep one to read when I put the toddler down for her nap. I always have an audiobook to listen to while doing housework. I often follow along with the Literary Life Podcast. It’s amazing how much you can get read in little bits of consistent reading!
These are great tips! Thank you Jennifer! My way of coping with burn out has been eating - mostly unhealthy! This makes for an ugly vicious circle! Thank you for the encouragement and making it sound achievable!
Thank you for sharing that you have help. I appreciate that you are keeping it real--helps your views to feel that we don’t need to be perfect.
The BEST channel on UA-cam ❤
Thank you!
Hi Jennifer. Thankyou so much for this very important video. Over the years I too have struggled. One thing I did change, which took the pressure off me socially was change work to paid employment. I would say no I don't work I'm a homemaker! WRONG! So I now say I'm not currently in paid employment.
You know what, it feels GOOD.
I have implementmented the 10 minute plan and applied it to hobbies, exercising etc so when spare time is in short supply this 10 minutes is achievable. Could u plse continue on with your homemaking series. I LOVE IT.
Cheers Beverley. Australia ❤
Amazing subject. I came from the generation that no one ever used that lovely word Homemaker. Almost as though it didn't exist. I have two lovely daughter-in-laws, one who is a homemaker full-time and another who needs to work out side the home. Homemaking is a lovely profession so glad is is coming back into the language. All the parents of both girls and boys need to teach children what homemaking is, its a wonderful way to live. It isn't druggery, it takes work and time, no monetary reward. But the reward is still there.
I think there is a monetary reward of sorts, as it would be much more expensive to employ people to do the individual tasks that a homemaker undertakes for free.
It use to be easier in the old days when grandparents helped out with your young children. Grandparents are not always as available as it used to be due to our different "modern" life style. We are separated from our families more than in the past. Maybe we should learn from the past!
What a great topic! I have experienced this and have been on the edge of burnout - working long hours, homeschooling, home making - I was forced into making changes and it has been very life giving. I have been tired for a long time and am slowly regaining energy and rediscovering hobbies. It would be great it you were able to explore relaxation further in an upcoming video. I might need some ideas of what to actually do :)
Yes I have done all that and I’m burnt out and lost self care
You’re just lovely. Your videos have always inspired a quieter look at life for me. Thank you
Thank you for this encouragement, Jennifer!
Thank you for this much needed video! Blessings.
Thank you for your encouragement and practical advice. I'm a homemaker, homeschool mom of 4 young children, and working 2 small businesses from my home. Wow, I can relate to so many things you said! 😍 I often stay up late to work. I'm in that season of life that you mentioned. Thank you for the advice to get to sleep in as long as I can. The nursing baby is often my alarm clock. 😂
I’m in the young child phase so sleep is simply a roller coaster. But I do try to nap when he’s napping. The biggest revive is doing some devotional or time with God while napping (well, resting)!
Thank you for this video, it’s encouraging to not feel like I have to do everything perfectly and something is better then nothing. Thankful my mother in law has helped with meals and that is a huge burden off my shoulders right now.
Homemaking is the profession that makes everything else possible. It is the backbone of society. I have two young children and also work full time and I love your channel. Thank you ❤
Even when I’m relaxing I have to be productive…. Thank goodness for my crafts 🧶 Spanish 🇪🇸
Could not have come at a better time. Thank you 😢
Thank you Jennifer ❤
Yes! I do it all at home...and I did it plus I used to work a full time job. I finally told my husband that I can either do it all at home or work full time but not both. Maybe some women can do it all but I don't want to it all at work AND at home. Luckily, he agreed ( and we can afford it) so I stopped working outside the home and now I'm much happier, much less resenful and our marriage is much better!❤❤
Great message and video Jennifer! I have a hard time relaxing as I work full time and on my days off I am busy with catching up on housework and other things I need to do. But it’s so important to make time for all the things you mentioned in this video. 💜
Thank you so much for making this video! I am dealing with burnt out as a homemaker and working mom of two! I am going to implement your suggested strategies today!
I needed this! Thanks Jennifer!
I try to prioritize my work/chores over my “hobbies” but doesn’t always happen. 😅 Glad to hear maybe this is ok as I’ve been told by many people, including work colleagues and family members to give up my hobbies until I retire.
I’ve been thinking about Babble! Last year we went to Italy and my brother in law ended up in the hospital for 2 wks and WOW how I wish we had known how to speak Italian! It was such a frightening experience not being able to fully communicate with the hospital staff. We are going to France next year, so French is on my list to learn!
I’ve had to remember that I’m a human being that needs to be cared for alongside of my family. If my kids are playing sometimes I play alongside. I need food so I eat with my kids. My kids get regular baths/showers that means I do too. I don’t make myself less than my kids and I don’t make myself above my kids.
Oh Jennifer, so aptly timed as usual. I am so burnt out I could cry. I am pregnant with a baby with fetal growth restriction so I really need to rest but I have a 2 and 4 yr old to take care of. It feels like I will never rest again... I know it's so worthwhile but I don't know how I'm going to get through these little years.
Hang in there! It will all get easier ♥️
@@TheDailyConnoisseur Thank you!
Thank you for sharing.
This is wonderful! Thank you.