Thank you for watching ♥️ I would love to know about your experiences with this. Have you grown in this area? Or do you still struggle? If you're interested in joining The Chic Society, you can click here ➡️ ua-cam.com/channels/EnEnLT5wBVnK56QFRg_Iwg.htmljoin or on the JOIN button. I'm looking forward to reading your comments! Love, Jennifer
Love this. People who have good character are those who are patient with others. Hard to do, but those who are gentle with the people are always elegant in my eyes
Your video addresses such an important COPING skill. This was a great video to share with friends! I've always aspired to be more like others who appear to handle difficult situations with grace and without reacting out of negative emotions. Taking a "pause" does allow your thoughts to come through and then decide how to react rather than opposite where you react and think about it later. In my previous profession, I worked to teach children to Stop, Think, Do using a traffic light as an image with red as Stop, etc. Adults can visualize that for themselves and suffer fewer consequences from overreacting
I am also an introvert. My temptation is defensiveness and passive aggression (embarrassing to admit). I have really been working on it and praying about it. Anger can be so confusing. It's hard to know when to bite my tongue and when to express a proper boundary (and just how to do that). But just yesterday I was watching Andy Stanley's talk on how to deal with mean people, and it occurred to me that I should also (or maybe even primarily) be setting boundaries on *myself.* As Jesus said, deal with the beam in my eye first. I already know that I should overcome evil with good. That if someone lobs evil (call a spade a spade) my direction, I should return goodness. That is my own boundary. It doesn't discount or ignore what's wrong; it overcomes it. It's hard to explain, but I had been praying for God to give me something to hang onto and simply obey in those moments, and it felt like a revelation. Great video!
My husband has taught me the best reaction is no reaction. I was always a hot headed overreactor and now when I get triggered I hear his voice telling me no reaction is the best reaction. I love that I no longer react and I absolutely love that I have fewer regrets about my behavior. I am a very sensitive person, so now I have to learn to work on my emotions.
@@lisad, that is so great, but sometimes a gentle, loving or supportive reaction is needed for the “other” person though. Sometimes not reacting can fuel someone else’s anger and come across as passive aggressive. I have a coworker like this. When she doesn’t get her way, even when we reach out for her input, she just won’t react at all, and it comes across as very passive aggressive, unsupportive, and solves nothing. I think you’re probably talking more about road rage type triggers though! In that case, I completely agree!
When I started menopause my ‘lady doctor’ warned me I would feel like telling people exactly what I think (as a result of my mood swings) but to hold back from doing so. It was the best advice she could have given me, aside from the importance of not forgetting my daily Hormone Replacement Therapy 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Jennifer, you and your channel are a lovely respite from the vulgarity and incivility of the world. Your lovely countenance and calm speaking voice offer your community a glimpse into elegant living, personal style, and poise. I appreciate - and frankly need - your beautiful channel. Thank you for your hard work, for sharing your passions, and inspiring us to become better versions of ourselves.
You chose the perfect description for how I feel also! 😊 This is an essential society to help me grow in so many areas of my life. Thank you, Jennifer 💕🙏🏻
I can’t express how much I needed to see this today. I literally cried as you shared about how you pray in your closet and cry out to God because I know that thirst for time with Him and that peace that you are speaking of. Thank you for being so authentic as you share the lost art of staying calm and classy. You do it so graciously and so beautifully. So grateful for you and this channel. God bless you!
For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ: for it is the power of God unto salvation to every one that believeth; to the Jew first, and also to the Greek. Romans 1:16 (KJV)
I’m an atheist but I never mind hearing people talk about prayer. I just call it reflection. My tip is to get in the slowest looking line wherever you are and meditate while you are waiting.
That’s my trick too. I just love the extra meditation time. I no longer struggle with impatience and I can send love to the clerk who is usually under duress due to previous customers giving them grief. It’s so powerful. It often changes their glum and tired outlook. Try it the next time you’re in line.
It feels like humans are becoming more animalistic as time goes on. We are conditioned to react immediately (reaction videos etc) I’m not sure why people think we are evolving?
Does feel like that sometimes though evolution doesn't always happen universally.. our actions and reactions vary very greatly.. genetics, external environmental factors, free will, personal growth/self awareness/reflection, all effect us developmentally.
"The strong is not the one who overcomes the people by his strength, but the strong is the one who controls himself while in anger." -Prophet Muhammad this quote helps me when I'm getting angry and reminds me where true strength is. Thank you for this video we all need that reminder as many times as possible ♥️
I needed this. I struggle with this sometimes as I’m passionate about a lot of aspects of life. I usually am told that I’m ‘pleasant’ or ‘elegant’, but I’m not always (mainly behind closed doors). Especially the state the world is in today, it’s frustrating to have people bring a topic up that is upsetting or you may passionately disagree with. Thank you so much for this video!
I totally relate! I’ve been told that I’m passionate, but there is a fine line between being passionate and being a crazy maker! I want to balance my passion wit wisdom and calmness.
@@TheDailyConnoisseur that's in the bible. "My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry," James 1:19. The issue you are talking about in your video.
"Take it to the Lord in prayer" I agree with everything you said, Jennifer. You are a breath of fresh air in our culture today. God bless you and your family.
Thank you Jennifer! Lately I've been very distressed by the current culture, and your tips were spot on and helpful for cultivating sanity and peace :)
When you said “Pause” I thought of Jesus quietly drawing or writing in the dirt, not answering the men about to stone the adulterous woman. Then he answered, of course infinitely wise and forgiving.
Very thoughtful, kind, well presented topic Jennifer. When you shared going into your closet and crying to God in prayer, it reminded me of Footprints on the Sand. It's those moments, seasons in life that can alter you in such a way that you sob to God. In the midst of this natural disaster storm like problems, He is carrying you and calming your soul. It's pure bliss in the midst of anarchy. It takes time to learn these life lessons. I'm studying the Proverbs now just to remind myself how to live well. 🌺💗😊
Wow Jennifer, when you revealed your heart in prayer it struck such a chord in me. As a Christian this is our source, our strength, for me it's really everything. If I neglect this area then I'm capable of every ugly reaction. Thank you for your transparency here, it's invaluable 💖
Agreed! Prayer is so powerful and necessary. Cast your cares on Jesus. His yoke is easy and his burden is light. This is what gives us the peace that surpasses understanding and the ability to carry ourselves in truth and grace, just as he did. ♡
But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly. Matthew 6:6 (KJV) May God richly bless you Jennifer and may God Bless us all.
I find when I get angry is to clean something, scrubbing is a great reliever of negative energy. Failing that a walk, often starts out a stomping match but ends in a calm walk. I find I can’t pray when angry, but I need something to expend that tumult of emotion before I can do anything else. So if my oven sparkles you know I was stressed in some way 😉
Hahahaha. This is what I've started doing. Unfortunately my husband has caught on (anger isn't directed at him, btw) and now every time I get really aggressive about cleaning he asks me "what did your sister say this time?" 😆😆😆
I pray every single day asking the Lord to help me think before I speak and to monitor my thoughts so anything hurtful or negative won't become words. I have grown in this area relying on this source of strength. It is amazing how many verses in Scripture are about our words. When my sons were young, they knew if I started praying out loud they had pushed my buttons and it was time to behave.
I too pray each day that the Lord will season my conversations with salt and put a guard over my lips……. Make my words like a honey comb so I will know how to build others up…. This is so important to me ! I definitely am so guilty of not pausing ….. before I speak.
"The peace that surpasses all understanding will guard your heart and your mind in Christ Jesus." I recently learned what peace comes from staying in the presence of Jesus with my anger, my anxiety, and my anxiety about not-so-perfect social interactions. I received real solace there. I hope to do it over and over again. Thank you for the reminder.
My mom was born and raised in London. She would've been in her early 80s. Her stock response to rudeness was always a soft but firm "Oh I beg your pardon." Very blessed to have had my mother for this and many other reasons. Yes, the peace that surpasses all understanding. Thank you for this excellent channel! God bless!
Perfect timing, Jennifer. I've been dealing with such high anxiety (like everyone else) and have been trying to remind myself that I may just be overreacting just because everyone else is overreacting. I don't have problems with anger but fear gets me. I'm watching for those triggers and reminding myself to turn to prayer when i feel panicky.
I'm so sorry about the anxiety you and all of us are experiencing. I agree being thoughtful and calm does the least harm. But the term 'over reacting' shouldn't apply, imo, to the unprecidented human, moral, environmental, democratic, impartial rule of law horror that is going on mainly in your country for the last few years. Humanity and hope is at stake. Hard to over react I think. But how to channel it for peace, health, and hope. We may be all there is in the whole universe, and we're circling the drain. We certainly need to pray hard.
@@catherine, I hope you’re doing okay. It’s wonderful to know that God is in control and many say, “Things aren’t falling apart, they’re falling into place,” as *the Biblical End-Times Prophecies are all coming together, and Jesus is coming back soon!* For anyone who doesn’t believe this. Consider this: *The Bible is the only book with 100% accurate Prophecy.* Many of these were written hundreds of years before they came to pass, and the Dead Sea Scrolls prove this. *The Bible is real. Jesus is real.* Seek Him with a humble and open heart, and you’ll find Him!! Jesus died on the cross and *shed His blood to pay the price for our sins.* He was buried and rose three days later (and was later taken up to heaven, but He left the Holy Spirit for us!). 🕊 *1 Corinthians 15* If you *believe in your heart that God raised Jesus from the dead* and *confess with your mouth that He is Lord,* you will be saved. Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved! ❤️ *Romans 10* God bless everyone here! 🕊
Wonderful advice. Pause is everything. People are so reactive these days when I'm tempted to respond I say to myself wait until the morning and see if you feel the same way. It reminds me of my grandmother telling me to walk around the block and you'll feel differently about life by the time you get home.
It is amazing how much less road rage I feel when I schedule in an extra 10 to 15 minutes cushion when I’m driving somewhere. If I get there early I can watch UA-cam on my phone. When there are other drivers doing things I think are stupid I can let it roll off my back when I know it is not going to cause me to be late.
Dear Jennifer, I have been watching your channel for years and reread your books every summer. I do not usually comment on videos, but hearing you talk about this topic was wonderful and struck a chord. I am grateful for your candor and your willingness to share your faith in this video. I also valued your thoughts on overreacting about one’s core values. I hope this video is seen by many, especially in this age of reacting so quickly to most things in the news/media. Thank you again for all your hard work with your channel, blog, and literature. The topics you discuss are an oasis for me in this fast and chaotic world. Brittany
I've been practicing this with my adult children and grandchildren. Mainly I've learned that my "opinion" is not necessary that I am there to love and support their decisions. I've come a long way too, BUT, I need to practice this more with the love of my life, my husband. Wonderful video, great tips. Thank you.
I am struggling terribly with the over involvement of my mother in law. I’m praying and trying to handle things in a Christian way. I’m in tears as I type this, and I wish I had someone to talk to who wasn’t connected to the situation. If anyone see this and feels inclined…please say a prayer for me. Thank you.
Words of wisdom! Love the emphasis on “pausing,” so many great take aways, patience in anger, GIVING it to God, processing before response, not neglecting self care. THANK YOU!
yes. prayer is everything. i'm learning to cultivate the pause, my tone, and my facial expressions. it's a daily struggle. i'm also learning i cannot manage another's emotions or moods. can't control how another responds or reacts. i appreciate your content. Thankyou.
Hi Jen, I loved this. Great tips, and some that we all need to remind ourselves of on a regular basis! I loved the proverbs. There is another proverb I have always loved. And although it is not directly related to remaining calm and not over-reactiing in a specific moment it is a good one to remember. "Holding onto anger is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die."
I’ve been reading about the stoics, Marcus Aurelius, etc. I have learned a lot and have seen results in applying their philosophy. It aligns with my Christian faith’s Fruits of the Spirit. I am a calmer woman. That is saying a lot since I am a Highly Sensitive Person and an introvert. I love to learn and to seek wisdom in the ways that I can continue to strive to be my best self. Daily Connoisseur is a part of that pursuit. Thank you , Jennifer, if I may call you that, for responding to your calling. Best wishes.
I really struggle with controlling my tongue, when someone has hurt me it is hard for me to not say a snarky comment in return. I am also extremelly sensitive and this does not bode well in life, I want to remain sensitive and caring without being over emotional and easy to offend. I really needed to hear this message and once again I thank you for your kind spirit. I would love if you dug deeper into these topics and give us some classy responses to other peoples rudeness. I try to ignore it but its not without difficulty. Thank you for sharing about your faith I am a Christian to and would love for you to talk more about your faith, if you feel comfortable doing so.
Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but [rather] give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance [is] mine; I will repay, saith the Lord. Romans 12:19 Say not thou, I will recompense evil; [but] wait on the LORD, and he shall save thee. Proverbs 20:22 (KJV See that none render evil for evil unto any [man]; but ever follow that which is good, both among yourselves, and to all [men]. 1 Thessalonians 5:15 (KJV) Not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing. 1 Peter 3:9 (KJV)
Goodmorning all! A video on remaining unbothered and classy - what a great way to begin the week. Lately, I have been in quite a few situations where I didn't overreacted, remained classy and all ended well. A calm and classy attitude will sometimes allow others too to PAUSE and refrain from losing control.
This was a great topic! I've gotten better with overreacting over the years but this is a great reminder why not to let yourself be bothered. It's not about the other person, but about maintaining your own dignity, and yes, remaining classy! Thanks Jennifer for this inspiration!
I just finished a book called “How to be Free from Bitterness” by Pastor Jim Wilson. Although I am naturally averse to confrontation and not highly reactive outwardly, I have struggled so much with inward anger and what to do with it. Society says you need to talk about it, Christians say you need to give it to God, but I didn’t really know what that meant! This book was such a huge eye-opener to me! Don’t let bitterness and anger grow in your heart, confess it continually to God! Thanks for the great video, Jennifer! Keep it classy, friends! 😂
ua-cam.com/video/hstMUCbASUI/v-deo.html How to Be Free From Bitterness" Lund 6 minutes And this is love, that we walk after his commandments. This is the commandment, That, as ye have heard from the beginning, ye should walk in it. 2 John 1:6 (KJV) If ye love me, keep my commandments. John 14:15 (KJV) He taught me also, and said unto me, Let thine heart retain my words: keep my commandments, and live. Proverbs 4:4 (KJV) . By this we know that we love the children of God, when we love God, and keep his commandments. 3 For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments: and his commandments are not grievous. 4 For whatsoever is born of God overcometh the world: and this is the victory that overcometh the world, [even] our faith. 5 Who is he that overcometh the world, but he that believeth that Jesus is the Son of God? 1 John 5:2-5 (KJV)
To put things into perspective Hellen Glaskow used Epictetus quote. She did exactly what everyone else of her profession does. They repeat everything Greek philosophers taught. Epictetus said that all external events are beyond our control; do we should accept whatever happens calmly and dispassionately. However, individuals are responsible for their own actions, which they can examine and control through rigorous self-discipline. My advice? Read Greek philosophy: they said it all!
This is such good advice. I’ve gotten so much better at handling anger. When I was younger I could be hotheaded. About 25 years ago I got so mad at a coworker for what I viewed as a stupid mistake that I made her cry. To be fair she often broke into tears when she was stressed. But I still felt so bad. There was no excuse for my behavior. I learned a good lesson about controlling my temper that I’ve never forgotten. (I did apologize to her)
The power of prayer! Thank God for His nearness to us. I’m going to add a small tip for those of us who really struggle with anger and need to release the energy in a way that’s not blowing our stack: WORK OUT! I can’t tell you how much this has helped me. I vigorous cardio session, a brisk walk, lifting some weights, dancing, etc.
Thank you Jennifer, the wonderful comments say what I couldn't possibly...I'm 20 years older than you and find in you a gracious mentor. You have such a calming stabilizing effect on me. Blessings!
@@shaunmcarthur745 , so many people recommended it to us before we finally took the time to watch. We shouldn't have waited because it is just the best! And now we're so grateful to God for bringing it to all of us at this time. 🙏 Thank you for replying 💗
LOVED this video! I really needed to hear all of this. We are living through a divisive and disturbing time. Your tips for pausing, and looking at the big picture instead of getting enraged at what is going on around me are spot on! Thanks so much.
Woah, what a sign! I had a stressful morning and when I opened UA-cam this video popped up. Now let me ease my heart and mind with this calming advice.
My eyes lit up and then teared up when you began to share about your prayer life...the physical act of prayer is not gone; thanks for affirming prayer works!
Jennifer, thank you for this lesson we all so badly need. Thank you especially for sharing your need to pray. I so love hearing other people whom I respect share their faith. And God loves it when we share our faith with others we care about, and give Him glory!♥️
I just wanted to thank you for the way you approached prayer and faith. I loved that you shared how that’s a part of your life and how your advise for using prayer as a tool in such an open, inclusive and respectful way. I really, really loved that. Thank you for showing how to be chich and elegant with the topic of religion and faith!
This is an absolutely beautiful video, Jennifer! I needed these reminders. Thank you for the work you do to beautify and uplift our world. God Bless and keep you!
Jennifer, thank you so much! I really needed it, especially with with what’s been happening since last year. Your message is pretty spiritual and soothing too. Have a wonderful day 😊
Thank you for sharing. Such important reminders that we can learn not to be so quickly reactionary. And thank you, for sharing your thoughts on handing it over to God in prayer. While that message may not resonate with everyone, I think it resonates with many people. As you mentioned, society is really a mess right now, and I feel a sense of more love and fellowship with people of all faiths❤ It's as if we need each other and the commonality we have to help us get through challenging times. Any doctrinal or traditional differences seem less important than just building each other's faith.
Something my mom used to say, and I don't know who she was quoting if anyone, was "holding on to anger is like a person picking up a hot coal with the intention of throwing it at someone... the only one to get burned is you"
Oo I needed this! 35 weeks pregnant, hot flashes and super reactive! 😅 My poor husband, bless his heart, he’s been so patient with me. Loved these tips ❤️ what a great way to start off the week! Thank you!
Rose played by Kathryn Hepburn in The African Queen. I would like to be like Rose. She faces the loss of her village and brother , a war involving the country of her birth and a dangerous journey down a river with grace, dignity and elegance. The romantic Hollywood ending to this film somehow makes sense. She is one of my all time favorite characters. I would like to be that brave and intelligent while staying composed and lovely.
I so appreciate spending time with you Jennifer, You have helped me tremendously to keep calm and remain classy. Your channel is my go to when I need a boost of encouragement.
Thank you for your work, Jennifer. In my long life, I have encountered various people and situations. I was brought up in a very good, elegant and always polite family. That was bliss for me! But, I found out that the world isn't like that at all! It's a harsh and nasty world. That's the truth. And, I had a hard time to adapt to that reality. It took me decades. Especially, also to realise that being polite or elegant isn't very welcome in most places, or with a lot of people. On the surface it is, but very fast people will take you for granted. Will trigger you, more and more. Will brush off their bad behavior on to you. If you don't react to a certain extent on their level, they will want to put you down even more, hurt you so much, that it's vital to put things straight with their language. In my long experience, only that type of mannerism has worked. After that, silence. 🙏
Oh to hold the "tongue". This is my cross to bear. I prayed to God so often to have control over my words. He has helped me so much with that but I haven't "arrived" yet. I'm sure I won't until I step out of this flesh. 🙏🙏🙏
“The Rosary is the best therapy for these distraught, unhappy, fearful, and frustrated souls, precisely because it involves the simultaneous use of three powers: the physical, the vocal, and the spiritual…” - Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen
@ Sweet Mary - Thanks for your comment. I love it! I notice that when I pray the Rosary and ask Mother Mary to help me, she always does! It always brings me internal peace, and psychological well being. God bless you!
@@miasoy3568 Apparently you do not know the Gospel much less the foundation of the Rosary and its origins. The Rosary is a focus on the life of Christ. Each set of mysteries focuses on each of Christ's life cycles from the time he was born all the way to his death and resurrection. All of the Prayers are in the Bible. I recommend you learn it before making negative comments that are not factual.
Hearing you talk about your prayer life makes me love your channel even more. ❤ Also, i completely agree about the vulgarity of society and the elegance we are losing. I homeschool my kids, hoping to pass on these traits that feel more and more rare these days.
I have a couple of ‘tools’ that help me to be more discreet and not overact or speak too hastily in most situations. The first is to wait a couple days before responding. Usually, over reactions are a passing emotion or distortion of reality. Sitting on the matter for a couple days allows me to really discern if it’s just a passing thought/feeling or something substantial that does need to be voiced/addressed in an appropriate context/manner. My other tool is to journal! Journaling helps me to think through a matter or problem so that if I do find it necessary to respond, I’m approaching it from a logical position instead of an emotional one. 😊
This video was at the perfect time for me. My husband and I are helping an elderly friend. Anyone that has done this knows that your words today and going in the closet to pray is great advice 🙏 Thank you Jennifer.
Great video! We can all use a little help knowing when and how to remain calm and hold our tongues. I think it would be wonderful to talk about when to and how to speak with conviction in a dignified and elegant manner. How do we speak up for what we believe, even if we know the conversation may be difficult, with poise and grace?
I am one to be an introvert in public spaces but at home completely lose it over the small things. I have two small children and sometimes it’s hard to remain calm! These were some great tips for me :)
I also used to be more hot-headed in my temper. I think age has mellowed me. At least I hope it has ! I’m currently in hospital recovering from major surgery and have made a point to thank every nurse, doctor, cleaner etc who cares / visits me during the day. They are all overworked and underpaid and I believe we mustn’t forget to thank those who are often taken for granted. Direct eye contact and a sincere thank you can mean so much in today’s busy world. Your makeup and hair look particularly pretty in this video. Best wishes from Australia 🇦🇺
Thank you Jennifer. Does are very good advices. The only thing I'm adding to all of that will be this. In the process to master the not overreacting behavior, it is possible we develop an ulcer. So be prepare to deal with that as well. And your doctor may can fix that ulcer for you later.
Your video is a blessing in modern times! We need to be elegant at home too. Erma Bombeck said, “A child needs your love most when he deserves it least”
Thank you, Jennifer. I do appreciate you’ve come with over reacting video. I’m hot-headed mum of two playfull boys and sometimes I have troubles with being calm. But I’m aware of it and want to change it. Thank you a lot for the tips🌹 I have to play the video one more time👍 Have a nice day Jennifer 🙂
If we all see ourselves as being teachers to those who do not know The Way then we can become more filled with grace. Grace beings peace. Peace heals. The biggest mistake I’ve made in my life is, opening my mouth when I shouldn’t have. As said, it’s better to be perceived a fool than to open your mouth and prove it. Lol
I have been using this trick lately for small to medium level of irritants. If I am bothered by something said or done, I wait for one week before I decide how to adress it. Most of the times I do not remember about the event anymore. If I am still upset after one week, I will decide how to let person know that I am upset about the event. Obviously, this will.not work for major transgression. Great video, thank you, Jennifer!
Hello Jennifer!!! I loved the mention of Pause, it is so important; I have learned it the hard way. Nowadays I am much much calmer, and I do not overreact any more, I pause and regain control of myself. I wish to thank you so much for the channel and the content, it is really a breath of fresh air in this vulgar times.
How strange this video seemed to come out of nowhere. My husband blew up out of stress yesterday causing a chain reaction with the teenagers and I felt so helpless and discouraged. But knowing how to react, I leave and crumble inside.
You shared so beautifully and openly about your prayer life, thank you! That is the most important and effective way for me too. And actually includes all the other tips: when communicating with God I need to pause (1), I become more aware of my reactions(2), I rely on his promise that in all things (even when someone is hurting me) He works for the good of those who love Him and will somehow help me turn those negative things into something good (3), His love calms my anger and helps me control my tongue (4&5), being with Him is the best self-care😊 and taking good care of myself is also a way to love and honor Him who created me (6) and finally seeing things from His perspective is truly looking at the big picture (7)!😊 Great tips, thank you Jennifer!
The reason I am watching this video is because a family member set my house on fire after intentionally crashing her Jeep into the side of my home. This is her third DUI. I find I am kind and gracious to most people most of the time. However, I have zero tolerance for drunks. I know I sound snobby but it is the way I honestly feel. She was arrested before she killed anyone fleeing from police thank God 🙏 I am thankful my house is still standing and being repaired. I am also thankful that I have forgiven this person. I am so very thankful she will no longer have access to me or my family ever again!
Such a lovely and well done video.. thank you for sharing it, and the time and thought invested. It’s so important to not take everything personally. Stand back, be objective. I agree with the disease of decline we are experiencing. Lack of self respect, I think. Sad. You are a lovely spot in our days.
I have definitely grown in this area. I actually never raise my voice now. When I’m in a hurry, and I get stopped at a red light or the traffic is heavy, I try to express gratitude for it and say, “God would have me wait.” ❤
I really enjoyed this video. I have struggled in this area. I definitely agree that no good ever comes from reacting while you are angry as afterwards you usually regret it and feel silly. Waiting until you are calm and then deciding whether to respond in a measured way is the best approach. I would like to see more videos on topics like this. Thank you!
The Serenity Prayer is priceless in life. Helps to ground me. Keeps my vision of reality in perspective. Cause life is simply hard. And prayer simply helps.
I’ve listened to your video several times as it is helping me very much, especially for a very difficult period I’m having… so thank you very very much! ❤️
Some people see “classy” as a divisive term. That may be due to the historical class divisions along economic levels. People from greater financial means often received training in exceptional social behavior. However, there have always been financially blessed people who acted like jerks and thus were “low class”. And there have always been relatively poor people who carried themselves graciously and thus were behaving “high class”. So, the assumed definition should be reconsidered when someone is tempted to be offended.
Years ago I learned about the "Tevye Principle". If you remember in Fiddler on the Roof, every time Tevye is frustrated or angry, he goes to his barn and gives it all to God. Along the same lines, I listened to a talk called "Give Your Love to You Loved Ones and Your Frustrations to the Lord." I am still working on this, and this video was a timely reminder! Thanks Jennifer!
What a friend we have in Jesus, all our sins and griefs to bear! What a privilege to carry everything to God in prayer! O what peace we often forfeit, O what needless pain we bear, all because we do not carry everything to God in prayer. Have we trials and temptations? Is there trouble anywhere? We should never be discouraged; take it to the Lord in prayer. Can we find a friend so faithful who will all our sorrows share? Jesus knows our every weakness; take it to the Lord in prayer. Are we weak and heavy laden, cumbered with a load of care? Precious Savior, still our refuge; take it to the Lord in prayer. Do thy friends despise, forsake thee? Take it to the Lord in prayer! In his arms he'll take and shield thee thou wilt find a solace there.
So needed on a personal level for me and I believe the world in which we live could truly change if this was a practice. Thanks Jennifer for your lovely message today.
Thank you for inspiring us to become elegant creatures! And having a calm and healthy and gentleness about us! I'm 70 years old and pretty fit for my age but want to become healty; and keep my character and ; faith in this atmosphere of moodiness and indifference! I got spanked for sassy Ness! But stood my ground! Love how you and the comments others noted about hashing! I tell myself Shut up Sharon; but usually after the fact! Thank you for your channel service and Positive Feedback! Self Control is much needed and out of control is completely unhealthy for myself. Take care and again ty everyone! Much Love and Blessings for each one for being a blessing to me!😊❤
Bless you over and over again. I love your honesty and straight forward approach. I loved every point and thank you for sharing this video. I have recently purchased your lovely books and I LOVE THEM!!!!
This is probably one of your best real-life videos I’ve heard. This is a huge immaturity in me. Ive regretted many outbursts, but never regretted keeping my temper. If someone really needs talking to, do it later in an atmosphere of respect and calm with thought. Thank you for the many quotes, too. Such a variety of wisdom, and it’s there for the taking.
Thank you for watching ♥️ I would love to know about your experiences with this. Have you grown in this area? Or do you still struggle? If you're interested in joining The Chic Society, you can click here ➡️ ua-cam.com/channels/EnEnLT5wBVnK56QFRg_Iwg.htmljoin or on the JOIN button. I'm looking forward to reading your comments! Love, Jennifer
Love this. People who have good character are those who are patient with others. Hard to do, but those who are gentle with the people are always elegant in my eyes
Your video addresses such an important COPING skill. This was a great video to share with friends! I've always aspired to be more like others who appear to handle difficult situations with grace and without reacting out of negative emotions. Taking a "pause" does allow your thoughts to come through and then decide how to react rather than opposite where you react and think about it later. In my previous profession, I worked to teach children to Stop, Think, Do using a traffic light as an image with red as Stop, etc. Adults can visualize that for themselves and suffer fewer consequences from overreacting
I am also an introvert. My temptation is defensiveness and passive aggression (embarrassing to admit). I have really been working on it and praying about it. Anger can be so confusing. It's hard to know when to bite my tongue and when to express a proper boundary (and just how to do that). But just yesterday I was watching Andy Stanley's talk on how to deal with mean people, and it occurred to me that I should also (or maybe even primarily) be setting boundaries on *myself.* As Jesus said, deal with the beam in my eye first. I already know that I should overcome evil with good. That if someone lobs evil (call a spade a spade) my direction, I should return goodness. That is my own boundary. It doesn't discount or ignore what's wrong; it overcomes it. It's hard to explain, but I had been praying for God to give me something to hang onto and simply obey in those moments, and it felt like a revelation.
Great video!
Hi Jennifer!
I am learning and reading Emotional Intelligence!
The need to manage triggers will help enhance self awareness and self control
My husband has taught me the best reaction is no reaction. I was always a hot headed overreactor and now when I get triggered I hear his voice telling me no reaction is the best reaction. I love that I no longer react and I absolutely love that I have fewer regrets about my behavior. I am a very sensitive person, so now I have to learn to work on my emotions.
@@lisad, that is so great, but sometimes a gentle, loving or supportive reaction is needed for the “other” person though. Sometimes not reacting can fuel someone else’s anger and come across as passive aggressive.
I have a coworker like this. When she doesn’t get her way, even when we reach out for her input, she just won’t react at all, and it comes across as very passive aggressive, unsupportive, and solves nothing.
I think you’re probably talking more about road rage type triggers though! In that case, I completely agree!
Holding one's tongue is a lost art in these times.
So true
When I started menopause my ‘lady doctor’ warned me I would feel like telling people exactly what I think (as a result of my mood swings) but to hold back from doing so. It was the best advice she could have given me, aside from the importance of not forgetting my daily Hormone Replacement Therapy 🤣🤣🤣🤣
So true! I lost my temper today and believe God led me to this video!
Now it’s extends to holding one’s fingers too.
Being assertive is healthy, not anger but assertive. It's not a good thing to hold things in, in fact people who are assertive live longer.
Jennifer, you and your channel are a lovely respite from the vulgarity and incivility of the world. Your lovely countenance and calm speaking voice offer your community a glimpse into elegant living, personal style, and poise. I appreciate - and frankly need - your beautiful channel. Thank you for your hard work, for sharing your passions, and inspiring us to become better versions of ourselves.
You chose the perfect description for how I feel also! 😊 This is an essential society to help me grow in so many areas of my life. Thank you, Jennifer 💕🙏🏻
Thank you so much ♥️
I thoroughly agree; so well spoken. Elegant lady💕
Oh I agree wholeheartedly!!! It is peaceful here
Your grammar, expression and writing style is simply exquisite.
"Everyone needs to leave me alone - unless they wanna join me and be pleasant!" - I felt this comment in the depths of my soul 😂😂
I can’t express how much I needed to see this today. I literally cried as you shared about how you pray in your closet and cry out to God because I know that thirst for time with Him and that peace that you are speaking of. Thank you for being so authentic as you share the lost art of staying calm and classy. You do it so graciously and so beautifully. So grateful for you and this channel. God bless you!
Thank you so much, Katherine! ♥️
@@TheDailyConnoisseur just speaking the truth and you are so welcome! 💜
❤️🥰🙏🏼
Amen 🙏🏻
Introversion can be a blessing in disguise 😂
DON'T EVER STOP TALKING ABOUT & SHARING YOUR PRAYER & FAITH LIFE!!
Amen 🙏
Amen!
For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ: for it is the power of God unto salvation to every one that believeth; to the Jew first, and also to the Greek. Romans 1:16 (KJV)
Amen!
Please keep sharing your faith
I’m an atheist but I never mind hearing people talk about prayer. I just call it reflection.
My tip is to get in the slowest looking line wherever you are and meditate while you are waiting.
What an awesome idea! Everyone always wants the fastest line. Those people could take some time to reflect.
I somehow always end up in that line any who. I love this!
I don't care about long lines or waiting most of the time. I enjoy my "pondering time" where I think about my writing or a decision or goals.
That’s my trick too. I just love the extra meditation time. I no longer struggle with impatience and I can send love to the clerk who is usually under duress due to previous customers giving them grief. It’s so powerful. It often changes their glum and tired outlook. Try it the next time you’re in line.
Me too. Chill out in Bank lines supermarket any que luv it just chill
It feels like humans are becoming more animalistic as time goes on. We are conditioned to react immediately (reaction videos etc) I’m not sure why people think we are evolving?
I love your question mark....evolving? 🤔....I don't think so either !!!
Does feel like that sometimes though evolution doesn't always happen universally.. our actions and reactions vary very greatly.. genetics, external environmental factors, free will, personal growth/self awareness/reflection, all effect us developmentally.
I think of evolution as a long term change. Transformation can be instantaneous…..
I hate reaction videos. What is wrong with collecting and preparing thoughts on something of importance?
"The strong is not the one who overcomes the people by his strength, but the strong is the one who controls himself while in anger."
-Prophet Muhammad
this quote helps me when I'm getting angry and reminds me where true strength is.
Thank you for this video we all need that reminder as many times as possible ♥️
I needed this. I struggle with this sometimes as I’m passionate about a lot of aspects of life. I usually am told that I’m ‘pleasant’ or ‘elegant’, but I’m not always (mainly behind closed doors). Especially the state the world is in today, it’s frustrating to have people bring a topic up that is upsetting or you may passionately disagree with.
Thank you so much for this video!
Behind closed doors. Yes! haha I can relate ♥️
I totally relate! I’ve been told that I’m passionate, but there is a fine line between being passionate and being a crazy maker! I want to balance my passion wit wisdom and calmness.
@@LoriSkees Yes! So true!
@@TheDailyConnoisseur that's in the bible. "My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry," James 1:19. The issue you are talking about in your video.
😡Ooooh, so your housemates or family are then on the receiving end of your anger? Or they have to even watch it. That's not a good thing.
"Take it to the Lord in prayer" I agree with everything you said, Jennifer. You are a breath of fresh air in our culture today. God bless you and your family.
Thank you Jennifer! Lately I've been very distressed by the current culture, and your tips were spot on and helpful for cultivating sanity and peace :)
When you said “Pause” I thought of Jesus quietly drawing or writing in the dirt, not answering the men about to stone the adulterous woman. Then he answered, of course infinitely wise and forgiving.
I love this! Great observation.
Yes!
🤯
This is story of Jesus is how I live my life.
Power in reflection & silence
Very thoughtful, kind, well presented topic Jennifer. When you shared going into your closet and crying to God in prayer, it reminded me of Footprints on the Sand. It's those moments, seasons in life that can alter you in such a way that you sob to God. In the midst of this natural disaster storm like problems, He is carrying you and calming your soul. It's pure bliss in the midst of anarchy. It takes time to learn these life lessons. I'm studying the Proverbs now just to remind myself how to live well. 🌺💗😊
Wow Jennifer, when you revealed your heart in prayer it struck such a chord in me. As a Christian this is our source, our strength, for me it's really everything. If I neglect this area then I'm capable of every ugly reaction. Thank you for your transparency here, it's invaluable 💖
I agree!
Completely agree!
Agreed! Prayer is so powerful and necessary. Cast your cares on Jesus. His yoke is easy and his burden is light. This is what gives us the peace that surpasses understanding and the ability to carry ourselves in truth and grace, just as he did. ♡
Yes, I'm so grateful you shared this. Prayer is crucial.
But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly. Matthew 6:6 (KJV)
May God richly bless you Jennifer and may God Bless us all.
I find when I get angry is to clean something, scrubbing is a great reliever of negative energy. Failing that a walk, often starts out a stomping match but ends in a calm walk. I find I can’t pray when angry, but I need something to expend that tumult of emotion before I can do anything else.
So if my oven sparkles you know I was stressed in some way 😉
Yes! Me too. Great tip!
This is what my mom did when she was upset when both my sister and I went living abroad. She was not mad, but sad though.
Hahahaha. This is what I've started doing. Unfortunately my husband has caught on (anger isn't directed at him, btw) and now every time I get really aggressive about cleaning he asks me "what did your sister say this time?" 😆😆😆
Lol, take it out on the oven! Brilliant!
Love this! 😊
Love that you shared your faith in such a respectful way. Thank you for letting your light shine, and not “hiding it under a basket”. 💕
I pray every single day asking the Lord to help me think before I speak and to monitor my thoughts so anything hurtful or negative won't become words. I have grown in this area relying on this source of strength. It is amazing how many verses in Scripture are about our words. When my sons were young, they knew if I started praying out loud they had pushed my buttons and it was time to behave.
I too pray each day that the Lord will season my conversations with salt and put a guard over my lips……. Make my words like a honey comb so I will know how to build others up…. This is so important to me ! I definitely am so guilty of not pausing ….. before I speak.
@@elizabethwinderweedle1704 hello, good morning how are you? How is the pandemic situation over there in your country?
I do the same with my child 🥰 Prayer is essential 🙏🕊
"The peace that surpasses all understanding will guard your heart and your mind in Christ Jesus." I recently learned what peace comes from staying in the presence of Jesus with my anger, my anxiety, and my anxiety about not-so-perfect social interactions. I received real solace there. I hope to do it over and over again. Thank you for the reminder.
Me too 😉
My mom was born and raised in London. She would've been in her early 80s. Her stock response to rudeness was always a soft but firm "Oh I beg your pardon." Very blessed to have had my mother for this and many other reasons. Yes, the peace that surpasses all understanding. Thank you for this excellent channel! God bless!
Perfect timing, Jennifer. I've been dealing with such high anxiety (like everyone else) and have been trying to remind myself that I may just be overreacting just because everyone else is overreacting. I don't have problems with anger but fear gets me. I'm watching for those triggers and reminding myself to turn to prayer when i feel panicky.
I'm so sorry about the anxiety you and all of us are experiencing. I agree being thoughtful and calm does the least harm. But the term 'over reacting' shouldn't apply, imo, to the unprecidented human, moral, environmental, democratic, impartial rule of law horror that is going on mainly in your country for the last few years. Humanity and hope is at stake. Hard to over react I think. But how to channel it for peace, health, and hope. We may be all there is in the whole universe, and we're circling the drain. We certainly need to pray hard.
Me too !!!!! Fear/ Anxiety!!
Me too !! My anxiety is off the scale and it’s largely due to my fear of uncertainty.
@@catherine, I hope you’re doing okay. It’s wonderful to know that God is in control and many say, “Things aren’t falling apart, they’re falling into place,” as *the Biblical End-Times Prophecies are all coming together, and Jesus is coming back soon!*
For anyone who doesn’t believe this. Consider this:
*The Bible is the only book with 100% accurate Prophecy.* Many of these were written hundreds of years before they came to pass, and the Dead Sea Scrolls prove this.
*The Bible is real. Jesus is real.* Seek Him with a humble and open heart, and you’ll find Him!!
Jesus died on the cross and *shed His blood to pay the price for our sins.* He was buried and rose three days later (and was later taken up to heaven, but He left the Holy Spirit for us!). 🕊 *1 Corinthians 15*
If you *believe in your heart that God raised Jesus from the dead* and *confess with your mouth that He is Lord,* you will be saved. Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved! ❤️ *Romans 10*
God bless everyone here! 🕊
Wonderful advice. Pause is everything. People are so reactive these days when I'm tempted to respond I say to myself wait until the morning and see if you feel the same way. It reminds me of my grandmother telling me to walk around the block and you'll feel differently about life by the time you get home.
It is amazing how much less road rage I feel when I schedule in an extra 10 to 15 minutes cushion when I’m driving somewhere. If I get there early I can watch UA-cam on my phone. When there are other drivers doing things I think are stupid I can let it roll off my back when I know it is not going to cause me to be late.
Elizabeth Langheim, hello, good morning how are you? How is the pandemic situation over there in your country?
Dear Jennifer,
I have been watching your channel for years and reread your books every summer. I do not usually comment on videos, but hearing you talk about this topic was wonderful and struck a chord.
I am grateful for your candor and your willingness to share your faith in this video. I also valued your thoughts on overreacting about one’s core values. I hope this video is seen by many, especially in this age of reacting so quickly to most things in the news/media.
Thank you again for all your hard work with your channel, blog, and literature. The topics you discuss are an oasis for me in this fast and chaotic world.
Brittany
Thank you, Brittany! ♥️
I've been practicing this with my adult children and grandchildren. Mainly I've learned that my "opinion" is not necessary that I am there to love and support their decisions. I've come a long way too, BUT, I need to practice this more with the love of my life, my husband. Wonderful video, great tips. Thank you.
Amen. I am learning that lesson too with my adult children.
I am struggling terribly with the over involvement of my mother in law. I’m praying and trying to handle things in a Christian way. I’m in tears as I type this, and I wish I had someone to talk to who wasn’t connected to the situation. If anyone see this and feels inclined…please say a prayer for me. Thank you.
@@ELDELD 🙏🙏💕
Me too!
Agree with you @KCallaAK …Everything you said…
Words of wisdom! Love the emphasis on “pausing,” so many great take aways, patience in anger, GIVING it to God, processing before response, not neglecting self care. THANK YOU!
Sheree Moon, hello, good morning how are you? How is the pandemic situation over there in your country?
yes. prayer is everything. i'm learning to cultivate the pause, my tone, and my facial expressions. it's a daily struggle. i'm also learning i cannot manage another's emotions or moods. can't control how another responds or reacts. i appreciate your content. Thankyou.
Hi Jen, I loved this. Great tips, and some that we all need to remind ourselves of on a regular basis! I loved the proverbs. There is another proverb I have always loved. And although it is not directly related to remaining calm and not over-reactiing in a specific moment it is a good one to remember. "Holding onto anger is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die."
That's a great one too!
Jen H, hello, good morning how are you? How is the pandemic situation over there in your country?
I'm looking forward to practicing 10 ways to stop embarrassing myself. 😅
I’ve been reading about the stoics, Marcus Aurelius, etc. I have learned a lot and have seen results in applying their philosophy. It aligns with my Christian faith’s Fruits of the Spirit. I am a calmer woman. That is saying a lot since I am a Highly Sensitive Person and an introvert. I love to learn and to seek wisdom in the ways that I can continue to strive to be my best self. Daily Connoisseur is a part of that pursuit. Thank you , Jennifer, if I may call you that, for responding to your calling. Best wishes.
I bought the book on Marcus Aurelius, and love the quotes. He was so clear and balanced in his philosophy and approach to life!
@@Sacred-Heart-of-Jesus829 hello, good morning how are you? How is the pandemic situation over there in your country?
I really struggle with controlling my tongue, when someone has hurt me it is hard for me to not say a snarky comment in return. I am also extremelly sensitive and this does not bode well in life, I want to remain sensitive and caring without being over emotional and easy to offend. I really needed to hear this message and once again I thank you for your kind spirit. I would love if you dug deeper into these topics and give us some classy responses to other peoples rudeness. I try to ignore it but its not without difficulty. Thank you for sharing about your faith I am a Christian to and would love for you to talk more about your faith, if you feel comfortable doing so.
Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but [rather] give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance [is] mine; I will repay, saith the Lord. Romans 12:19 Say not thou, I will recompense evil; [but] wait on the LORD, and he shall save thee. Proverbs 20:22 (KJV See that none render evil for evil unto any [man]; but ever follow that which is good, both among yourselves, and to all [men]. 1 Thessalonians 5:15 (KJV)
Not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing. 1 Peter 3:9 (KJV)
@@1Thessalonians5.21 THANK YOU!!! Script#'s and everything, Wow. Needed. Thank YOU XOXO
Reading the book of James
Goodmorning all! A video on remaining unbothered and classy - what a great way to begin the week.
Lately, I have been in quite a few situations where I didn't overreacted, remained classy and all ended well. A calm and classy attitude will sometimes allow others too to PAUSE and refrain from losing control.
So true, Nadege
I agree 100%😊
This was a great topic! I've gotten better with overreacting over the years but this is a great reminder why not to let yourself be bothered. It's not about the other person, but about maintaining your own dignity, and yes, remaining classy! Thanks Jennifer for this inspiration!
Great advice, Jennifer! Whenever I overreact, this acronym has served me well: HALT! And then ask, am I Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired.
Mine would be HHALT - am I Hungry, Hormonal, ....... 🤣🤣🤣
I've also heard HALTS (Sick)
I learned this over many years in NA :)
I just finished a book called “How to be Free from Bitterness” by Pastor Jim Wilson. Although I am naturally averse to confrontation and not highly reactive outwardly, I have struggled so much with inward anger and what to do with it. Society says you need to talk about it, Christians say you need to give it to God, but I didn’t really know what that meant! This book was such a huge eye-opener to me! Don’t let bitterness and anger grow in your heart, confess it continually to God! Thanks for the great video, Jennifer! Keep it classy, friends! 😂
I just downloaded that after hearing about it on What Have You! 👍🏼
Thank you for mentioning it. This might be just what I need right now. Found it available on our library system! :-)
ua-cam.com/video/hstMUCbASUI/v-deo.html
How to Be Free From Bitterness" Lund 6 minutes
And this is love, that we walk after his commandments. This is the commandment, That, as ye have heard from the beginning, ye should walk in it. 2 John 1:6 (KJV)
If ye love me, keep my commandments.
John 14:15 (KJV)
He taught me also, and said unto me, Let thine heart retain my words: keep my commandments, and live.
Proverbs 4:4 (KJV)
.
By this we know that we love the children of God, when we love God, and keep his commandments. 3 For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments: and his commandments are not grievous. 4 For whatsoever is born of God overcometh the world: and this is the victory that overcometh the world, [even] our faith. 5 Who is he that overcometh the world, but he that believeth that Jesus is the Son of God?
1 John 5:2-5 (KJV)
@@marebear09 love What Have You! That’s where I heard about it too! 😊
@@thekingsdaughter4233 you’re welcome! It’s also on audible and pretty short! :)
Love the word classy. Betting those who do not like it are not.
To put things into perspective Hellen Glaskow used Epictetus quote. She did exactly what everyone else of her profession does. They repeat everything Greek philosophers taught. Epictetus said that all external events are beyond our control; do we should accept whatever happens calmly and dispassionately. However, individuals are responsible for their own actions, which they can examine and control through rigorous self-discipline. My advice? Read Greek philosophy: they said it all!
Better still, read Hindu or Buddhist or any Sanaatan Dharm spiritual content. Because better still they 'lived' it and spoke from those depths.
@@ES-hr8yx hahahahahahaha
@@ES-hr8yx can u recommend a book in Buddhism with these ideals in it. Mainly about anger.
This is such good advice. I’ve gotten so much better at handling anger. When I was younger I could be hotheaded. About 25 years ago I got so mad at a coworker for what I viewed as a stupid mistake that I made her cry. To be fair she often broke into tears when she was stressed. But I still felt so bad. There was no excuse for my behavior. I learned a good lesson about controlling my temper that I’ve never forgotten. (I did apologize to her)
The power of prayer! Thank God for His nearness to us.
I’m going to add a small tip for those of us who really struggle with anger and need to release the energy in a way that’s not blowing our stack: WORK OUT! I can’t tell you how much this has helped me. I vigorous cardio session, a brisk walk, lifting some weights, dancing, etc.
Leslie R, hello, good morning how are you? How is the pandemic situation over there in your country?
This brought tears to by eyes it’s all so true and so real. I thank you for bringing this to the front of my thoughts and heart 💜
Thank you Jennifer, the wonderful comments say what I couldn't possibly...I'm 20 years older than you and find in you a gracious mentor. You have such a calming stabilizing effect on me. Blessings!
This is beautiful, Jennifer. Prayer makes all the difference!
Have you seen "The Chosen" yet? It is so beautiful, too!
We love watching “the Chosen” too!
@@shaunmcarthur745 , so many people recommended it to us before we finally took the time to watch. We shouldn't have waited because it is just the best!
And now we're so grateful to God for bringing it to all of us at this time. 🙏
Thank you for replying 💗
@@tonicarey971 hello, good morning how are you? How is the pandemic situation over there in your country?
Not getting enough sleep definitely makes it easier to not overreact
LOVED this video! I really needed to hear all of this. We are living through a divisive and disturbing time. Your tips for pausing, and looking at the big picture instead of getting enraged at what is going on around me are spot on! Thanks so much.
Woah, what a sign! I had a stressful morning and when I opened UA-cam this video popped up. Now let me ease my heart and mind with this calming advice.
My eyes lit up and then teared up when you began to share about your prayer life...the physical act of prayer is not gone; thanks for affirming prayer works!
Jennifer, thank you for this lesson we all so badly need. Thank you especially for sharing your need to pray. I so love hearing other people whom I respect share their faith. And God loves it when we share our faith with others we care about, and give Him glory!♥️
Annette Pellowe, hello, good morning how are you? How is the pandemic situation over there in your country?
You have such a beautiful laughter, it's contagious 🌺🙂
I just wanted to thank you for the way you approached prayer and faith. I loved that you shared how that’s a part of your life and how your advise for using prayer as a tool in such an open, inclusive and respectful way. I really, really loved that. Thank you for showing how to be chich and elegant with the topic of religion and faith!
Helen Jansson, hello, good morning how are you? How is the pandemic situation over there in your country?
This is an absolutely beautiful video, Jennifer! I needed these reminders. Thank you for the work you do to beautify and uplift our world. God Bless and keep you!
Beautiful reminder ❤️
Love the final tip the most ...Give it to God
Thanks so much for this topic! I woke up this morning feeling uneasy and anxious about the world.
Jennifer, thank you so much! I really needed it, especially with with what’s been happening since last year. Your message is pretty spiritual and soothing too. Have a wonderful day 😊
Thank you so much Jennifer ...this was badly needed..its very difficult to keep calm around negativity ..great tips and very motivating content 👌 😊
Thank you for sharing. Such important reminders that we can learn not to be so quickly reactionary. And thank you, for sharing your thoughts on handing it over to God in prayer. While that message may not resonate with everyone, I think it resonates with many people. As you mentioned, society is really a mess right now, and I feel a sense of more love and fellowship with people of all faiths❤ It's as if we need each other and the commonality we have to help us get through challenging times. Any doctrinal or traditional differences seem less important than just building each other's faith.
Absolutely!!!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️🙏🌿🌿🙏
At 17:10 I burst into tears. Thank you for the reminder to pray. May the Lord continue to use you for His glory!
Something my mom used to say, and I don't know who she was quoting if anyone, was "holding on to anger is like a person picking up a hot coal with the intention of throwing it at someone... the only one to get burned is you"
Oo I needed this! 35 weeks pregnant, hot flashes and super reactive! 😅 My poor husband, bless his heart, he’s been so patient with me. Loved these tips ❤️ what a great way to start off the week! Thank you!
Pregnant women get a free pass... ha!
These rules are so important and as a senior I've learned over the years to use them.
One of your best videos ever. Thank you so much for this!
Rose played by Kathryn Hepburn in The African Queen. I would like to be like Rose. She faces the loss of her village and brother , a war involving the country of her birth and a dangerous journey down a river with grace, dignity and elegance. The romantic Hollywood ending to this film somehow makes sense. She is one of my all time favorite
characters. I would like to be that brave and intelligent while staying composed and lovely.
Have you read the book The African Queen? It’s a great book and there is some good nuance into Rose’s character.
I so appreciate spending time with you Jennifer, You have helped me tremendously to keep calm and remain classy. Your channel is my go to when I need a boost of encouragement.
I’m so proud of you for sharing these tips , and especially your honesty about your prayer life !! Prayer is my lifeline !
Thank you for your work, Jennifer. In my long life, I have encountered various people and situations. I was brought up in a very good, elegant and always polite family. That was bliss for me! But, I found out that the world isn't like that at all! It's a harsh and nasty world. That's the truth. And, I had a hard time to adapt to that reality. It took me decades. Especially, also to realise that being polite or elegant isn't very welcome in most places, or with a lot of people. On the surface it is, but very fast people will take you for granted. Will trigger you, more and more. Will brush off their bad behavior on to you. If you don't react to a certain extent on their level, they will want to put you down even more, hurt you so much, that it's vital to put things straight with their language. In my long experience, only that type of mannerism has worked.
After that, silence. 🙏
I should have watched this before I got out of bed.
Thank you, good advice here. One question I ask myself when I'm tempted to over react is this - how much eternal value does "this" have?
Oh to hold the "tongue". This is my cross to bear. I prayed to God so often to have control over my words. He has helped me so much with that but I haven't "arrived" yet. I'm sure I won't until I step out of this flesh. 🙏🙏🙏
I pray the Rosary and God gets me through everything and anything. The Rosary is the gospel on beads and it really grounds me. 🙏💕
The rosary is not the Gospel, please read the Bible.
I pray the rosary often as well. God is so good to give us ways to deal with life's pain and sufferings.
“The Rosary is the best therapy for these distraught, unhappy, fearful, and frustrated souls, precisely because it involves the simultaneous use of three powers: the physical, the vocal, and the spiritual…”
- Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen
@ Sweet Mary - Thanks for your comment. I love it! I notice that when I pray the Rosary and ask Mother Mary to help me, she always does! It always brings me internal peace, and psychological well being. God bless you!
@@miasoy3568 Apparently you do not know the Gospel much less the foundation of the Rosary and its origins. The Rosary is a focus on the life of Christ. Each set of mysteries focuses on each of Christ's life cycles from the time he was born all the way to his death and resurrection. All of the Prayers are in the Bible. I recommend you learn it before making negative comments that are not factual.
Hearing you talk about your prayer life makes me love your channel even more. ❤ Also, i completely agree about the vulgarity of society and the elegance we are losing. I homeschool my kids, hoping to pass on these traits that feel more and more rare these days.
Kari Quick, hi how are you?
I have a couple of ‘tools’ that help me to be more discreet and not overact or speak too hastily in most situations. The first is to wait a couple days before responding. Usually, over reactions are a passing emotion or distortion of reality. Sitting on the matter for a couple days allows me to really discern if it’s just a passing thought/feeling or something substantial that does need to be voiced/addressed in an appropriate context/manner. My other tool is to journal! Journaling helps me to think through a matter or problem so that if I do find it necessary to respond, I’m approaching it from a logical position instead of an emotional one. 😊
This video was at the perfect time for me. My husband and I are helping an elderly friend. Anyone that has done this knows that your words today and going in the
closet to pray is great advice 🙏 Thank you Jennifer.
Great video! We can all use a little help knowing when and how to remain calm and hold our tongues. I think it would be wonderful to talk about when to and how to speak with conviction in a dignified and elegant manner. How do we speak up for what we believe, even if we know the conversation may be difficult, with poise and grace?
I am one to be an introvert in public spaces but at home completely lose it over the small things. I have two small children and sometimes it’s hard to remain calm! These were some great tips for me :)
I also used to be more hot-headed in my temper. I think age has mellowed me. At least I hope it has ! I’m currently in hospital recovering from major surgery and have made a point to thank every nurse, doctor, cleaner etc who cares / visits me during the day. They are all overworked and underpaid and I believe we mustn’t forget to thank those who are often taken for granted. Direct eye contact and a sincere thank you can mean so much in today’s busy world.
Your makeup and hair look particularly pretty in this video. Best wishes from Australia 🇦🇺
Thank you for talking about your prayer life. That takes courage. It is appreciated.❤
Thank you Jennifer. Does are very good advices. The only thing I'm adding to all of that will be this. In the process to master the not overreacting behavior, it is possible we develop an ulcer. So be prepare to deal with that as well. And your doctor may can fix that ulcer for you later.
Your video is a blessing in modern times!
We need to be elegant at home too.
Erma Bombeck said, “A child needs your love most when he deserves it least”
#3 what do you mean use them as fuel? Revenge success? Be better to piss them off more? Sorry, I am afraid I misunderstood you.
Thank you, Jennifer. I do appreciate you’ve come with over reacting video.
I’m hot-headed mum of two playfull boys and sometimes I have troubles with being calm. But I’m aware of it and want to change it. Thank you a lot for the tips🌹
I have to play the video one more time👍
Have a nice day Jennifer 🙂
If we all see ourselves as being teachers to those who do not know The Way then we can become more filled with grace. Grace beings peace. Peace heals. The biggest mistake I’ve made in my life is, opening my mouth when I shouldn’t have. As said, it’s better to be perceived a fool than to open your mouth and prove it. Lol
This was really helpful.
Thank you for being open about prayer 💕
I love your channel ☺️
I have been using this trick lately for small to medium level of irritants. If I am bothered by something said or done, I wait for one week before I decide how to adress it. Most of the times I do not remember about the event anymore. If I am still upset after one week, I will decide how to let person know that I am upset about the event. Obviously, this will.not work for major transgression. Great video, thank you, Jennifer!
Hello Jennifer!!! I loved the mention of Pause, it is so important; I have learned it the hard way. Nowadays I am much much calmer, and I do not overreact any more, I pause and regain control of myself. I wish to thank you so much for the channel and the content, it is really a breath of fresh air in this vulgar times.
How strange this video seemed to come out of nowhere. My husband blew up out of stress yesterday causing a chain reaction with the teenagers and I felt so helpless and discouraged. But knowing how to react, I leave and crumble inside.
You shared so beautifully and openly about your prayer life, thank you! That is the most important and effective way for me too. And actually includes all the other tips: when communicating with God I need to pause (1), I become more aware of my reactions(2), I rely on his promise that in all things (even when someone is hurting me) He works for the good of those who love Him and will somehow help me turn those negative things into something good (3), His love calms my anger and helps me control my tongue (4&5), being with Him is the best self-care😊 and taking good care of myself is also a way to love and honor Him who created me (6) and finally seeing things from His perspective is truly looking at the big picture (7)!😊 Great tips, thank you Jennifer!
The reason I am watching this video is because a family member set my house on fire after intentionally crashing her Jeep into the side of my home. This is her third DUI. I find I am kind and gracious to most people most of the time. However, I have zero tolerance for drunks.
I know I sound snobby but it is the way I honestly feel. She was arrested before she killed anyone fleeing from police thank God 🙏
I am thankful my house is still standing and being repaired. I am also thankful that I have forgiven this person. I am so very thankful she will no longer have access to me or my family ever again!
Such a lovely and well done video.. thank you for sharing it, and the time and thought invested. It’s so important to not take everything personally. Stand back, be objective. I agree with the disease of decline we are experiencing. Lack of self respect, I think. Sad. You are a lovely spot in our days.
I have definitely grown in this area. I actually never raise my voice now. When I’m in a hurry, and I get stopped at a red light or the traffic is heavy, I try to express gratitude for it and say, “God would have me wait.” ❤
I really enjoyed this video. I have struggled in this area. I definitely agree that no good ever comes from reacting while you are angry as afterwards you usually regret it and feel silly. Waiting until you are calm and then deciding whether to respond in a measured way is the best approach. I would like to see more videos on topics like this. Thank you!
Joanne Jackson, hi good morning how are you?
The Serenity Prayer is priceless in life. Helps to ground me. Keeps my vision of reality in perspective. Cause life is simply hard. And prayer simply helps.
I’ve listened to your video several times as it is helping me very much, especially for a very difficult period I’m having… so thank you very very much! ❤️
Some people see “classy” as a divisive term. That may be due to the historical class divisions along economic levels. People from greater financial means often received training in exceptional social behavior. However, there have always been financially blessed people who acted like jerks and thus were “low class”. And there have always been relatively poor people who carried themselves graciously and thus were behaving “high class”. So, the assumed definition should be reconsidered when someone is tempted to be offended.
Years ago I learned about the "Tevye Principle". If you remember in Fiddler on the Roof, every time Tevye is frustrated or angry, he goes to his barn and gives it all to God. Along the same lines, I listened to a talk called "Give Your Love to You Loved Ones and Your Frustrations to the Lord." I am still working on this, and this video was a timely reminder! Thanks Jennifer!
What a friend we have in Jesus,
all our sins and griefs to bear!
What a privilege to carry
everything to God in prayer!
O what peace we often forfeit,
O what needless pain we bear,
all because we do not carry
everything to God in prayer.
Have we trials and temptations?
Is there trouble anywhere?
We should never be discouraged;
take it to the Lord in prayer.
Can we find a friend so faithful
who will all our sorrows share?
Jesus knows our every weakness;
take it to the Lord in prayer.
Are we weak and heavy laden,
cumbered with a load of care?
Precious Savior, still our refuge;
take it to the Lord in prayer.
Do thy friends despise, forsake thee?
Take it to the Lord in prayer!
In his arms he'll take and shield thee
thou wilt find a solace there.
@@kerrywatson8581 This song also came to my mind. Thanks for posting.
@@1Thessalonians5.21 hello, good morning how are you? How is the pandemic situation over there in your country?
I wonder why this videos got so many dislikes? Must be those haters she mentioned in the video 🤔
Great person and great content! Chapeau Madame 🎩
So needed on a personal level for me and I believe the world in which we live could truly change if this was a practice. Thanks Jennifer for your lovely message today.
Thank you for inspiring us to become elegant creatures! And having a calm and healthy and gentleness about us! I'm 70 years old and pretty fit for my age but want to become healty; and keep my character and ; faith in this atmosphere of moodiness and indifference! I got spanked for sassy Ness! But stood my ground! Love how you and the comments others noted about hashing! I tell myself Shut up Sharon; but usually after the fact! Thank you for your channel service and Positive Feedback! Self Control is much needed and out of control is completely unhealthy for myself. Take care and again ty everyone! Much Love and Blessings for each one for being a blessing to me!😊❤
I really needed to watch this. Thank you Jennifer, the classiest lady on UA-cam.
Bless you over and over again. I love your honesty and straight forward approach. I loved every point and thank you for sharing this video. I have recently purchased your lovely books and I LOVE THEM!!!!
Janice Painter, how are you doing, good morning
This is probably one of your best real-life videos I’ve heard. This is a huge immaturity in me. Ive regretted many outbursts, but never regretted keeping my temper. If someone really needs talking to, do it later in an atmosphere of respect and calm with thought. Thank you for the many quotes, too. Such a variety of wisdom, and it’s there for the taking.