Your time is precious, let no man waste it! 💯 Get your copy of the bestselling book "He's Lying Sis" here 👉 www.heslyingsis.com 👈 this book has been helping women everywhere!
I was paying half before my marriage and after, half for groceries, vacations household bills, he is now my EX HUSBAND🤣🤣🤣🤣 For real though, I had no problem with it
I am so inspired by your channel I just ran across it watching regular videos and you really make things clear I had a lot of changes and I still have a lot of challenges ahead of me emotionally physically and spiritually. I am a mom and a wife and a daughter that I am mostly MOM! I HAVE FOUR TEENAGE SONS TWO THAT ARE AUTISTIC AND I AM NOW ON DISABILITY AND MY HUSBAND HAS ABANDONED THE MARRIAGE THUS I HAVE MOVED IN WITH MY PARENTS BECAUSE IT'S HARD TO TAKE CARE OF MYSELF I HAVE SEIZURES I HAVE 15 DOCTORS AND ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT ARE MY FOUR SONS YOU'VE GIVEN ME INSPIRATION TODAY THAT LIFE CAN BE CHANGED AMEN 🙏
Sharing a RED FLAG that I experienced: Dating men who want to "Fast Forward" the sexual side of a relationship, and push "Pause" on making a commitment. Women, stop sharing your body with men who do not love you & commit to you.
@@MeetStephanSpeaks Thanks! I just found your channel and I like your approach. You get to the point and say things women need to hear. Hearing it from a man really helps.
8TH RED FLAG WOMEN SHOULD NEVER IGNORE..........A MAN WHO GETS MAD AT US FOR LISTENING AND PAYING ATTENTION TO STEPHAN'S VIDEOS AND WORDS OF WISDOM....
@@lilmama35810 WHATTTT......ARE YOU HERE FOR ME OR FOR STEPH??...IF YOU HERE FOR ME, DON'T HIDE BEHIND A SYMBOL TO BE HEARD.....IS THIS ABOUT ME OR STEPH
#2 is a huge red flag for me. I’m a big believer that communication is key to a successful relationship. It’s a turn off for me when I’m constantly stonewalled every time I ask a question.
@@kokohottie1669 some people will continue to push back so hard and remain silent. All the while still wearing a mask until you realize it’s not worth fighting for this one-sided situation and just pull away and go find your happiness elsewhere.
If a man isn’t willing to give your relationship a title, he’s basically telling you that he’s not serious enough to commit to you. Ladies, please don’t sell yourself short and waste your time on men who aren’t willing to honor you and commit to you. You are worth so much more than that
As a man, I appreciate you making these videos. I feel you’re very good at uplifting one gender without knocking the other. I also watch the videos you make geared to women because it gives me another perception to help me see my faults
@@MeetStephanSpeaks my pleasure, while I admit I’m not perfect, I will always try to look at ways to try to be better and I feel you’re really trying to help everyone do it
@@wilted_rose510 thank you, we should be giving Stephan credit for the way he presents his content to us. He knows how to be pro woman without being anti guy and he knows how to be pro guy without being anti woman
Please talk about men that are intimidated or jealous of a woman’s success, money, personality, potential and sees her as competition. It’s definitely a red flag
It's all about boundaries, self worth, and having the courage to walk away from toxicity. These are lessons I learned the hard way, but peace of mind is priceless.
I'm with you on that one. Just felt ready to start dating again after 7 years to find myself again n already this new guy is smothering me. At least I know who I am this time n self worth. Can see this 'relationship' not lasting long. Good luck on your life journey.
I,very been married 35 years. When we first met he paid for most dates as I was 19 he 27.. when married he paid the mortgage, car and life insurances. I paid the inside bills. I think that's fair. When 2 people in a relationship one person should not have to pay for everything unless he,s rich, rich. We just went on vacation I paid the flight he paid hotel, shopping and eating. Don,t ever rely 100%on anyone because they can turn on you. Always have your own stash
Absolutely!!!! I agree 100%! Men struggle too and need support as well. Over here in the UK we tend to pay our way. Women pull out their wallets to pay
"A man that loves you will want to give you clarity and peace". Men are very intentional and strategic when approaching a woman, him not giving her a title just proves he is not that into her. He won't mind causing frustration and confusion for her. Even "going with the flow" vibe has a destination, things will have to end up somewhere so if he's not reassuring her, he doesn't have good intentions or a plan for the woman.
@@nofybn7794 Yes, it doesn't. I just meant that something that is flowing does end up somewhere. Think of a ball rolling, it goes with the flow of the landscape so it will end up somewhere. So going with the flow has to eventually end up somewhere. When there are no intentions stated from the beginning, that's going with the flow. I hope I make sense 😬
Thank you... this clown am with went two days straight without no affection at all thinking I was a fish and wasn't going to notice. Am past caring atm. Respect first before love any day. .
When God leads you to watch Stephan's Videos. It's a sign that He wants you to listen, learn and understand the things that u currently need in ur relationship.
Physically abusive men will usually abuse you mentally and verbally first to break you down then start putting their hands on you shortly after. So it sometimes goes hand in hand. STAY AWAY from toxic people. These men Can cause long term physical damage in a second. The moment they start putting you down you need to GO don’t risk it 😞
Red flag: ignoring your partner when they're trying to communicate. If you ignore someone because you're processing emotions or information, just tell them you need space or time. However, deliberately withholding communication as a power play borders on emotional abuse. Passive-aggressive or inconsistent behavior is hurtful and will cause harm, both in the current and possible future relationships.
@@thebestthinginmylife6205 sending love and light. Do what's best for your soul sweetie. Your worth it. You are worthy. You are enough. You are strong. You've got this🤗💞🙏
I truly have to say that a lot of men need to watch this video because a lot of men don't know where their mistakes are at...me I can speak for myself that I truly love my woman I respect her everyday highly favored to her I love taking care of her spoil her every time give her affection that she needs pay attention to her issues and try to resolve them I take the weight off of her and I deal with them doing the little things that matters to her. Send her love text messages out of the blue just because I love to making her smile. And now I'm planning on making her my wife. These are some of the things that my mother has taught me as a man to respect women how to cherish a woman so I truly believe that a lot of men should watch this video because I think it really help. Thanks Stephan for this great message.
Avoidance is a red flag. A man saying, we'll see, I don't know, I'll get back with you, or straight up ignoring the question, failing to every return to address the issue or question.
Another way to get a 50/50 split but not look cheap is to have a joint account where each of you deposit the same amount of money on a regular basis . When you go out , Used the card to pay for the dinner/ outing so he looks as if he is taking you out but you just went Dutch
As a man I disagree with this being a red flag.. for example - if a women randomly brings up a vacation / get away idea that would obviously cost money and time away from work & the women wants an answer immediately... for the man to say "maybe" or "we'll see" could just mean he's mapping it out financially aka being responsible.
@@MrMistajone Yes, and that's fine but at least communicate the financial or plans needed. As grown adults, we know resources and commitments have to be considered. But 'soon' doesn't provide a plan of action!
True for me,the checking someone’s phone and constantly worrying if he’s cheating on you. Don’t play yourself if God ain’t for it,you gon be constantly stressed about it. Happily single
Super truth! If you can't take proper care of yourself and have a set of standards and goals and the ability to handle and afford yourself...what are you gonna do with someone else?🤣🤣🤣😂
I've been in a 30 year relationship where my husband fits four of these things (50/50, doesn't listen, verbally & mentally abusive and doesn't meet my needs). After doing pros and cons, and stumbling across this video, I'M OUT! Thanks for confirmation.
I hope that you confronted him about his ways and at least given him a chance to change or not because no one can fix what they don't know is broken. If you're a church goer then I hope that you have tried married counseling with your pastor? if you haven't then at least therapy. I hope that your marriage can be saved. And it can if both parties are willing to do the necessary work. Best wishes to you and I hope that it all works out for your good.
My husband tried to end my life twice I was not going to make it three times I had not seen him in over a decade he tried to get me back I said HELL NOOOOOOOOOO I love ❤️ my life….REAL TALK 2021
If a man have to hide you, then he's hiding something or he's ashamed of you. A man is Supposed to provide and make sure that woman is safe with him. Thanks Stephen
I've recently ended a relationship where a guy I was seeing was earning 3x more than me and discovered he couldn't make positive financial decisions. There are so many red flags in men. Wanting to constantly message/call, checking up on you. Makes you feel wanted at first but you quickly realise it's actually an obsession. Needing constant reassurance & validation. Making it all about themselves. Pretending to have health issues so you feel sorry for them, needing that care from you. The moment he realised I was dead end, he switched off. I am so glad I came across these videos, I am doing a bit of a research and study on my behaviours and why I always attract toxic men. I want to focus on myself for a while and to heal from these experiences. We all deserve to be loved and respected. Not going to settle for any less, ever again 💯
@@heatherfulmore3412 you just need time to heal. When we have too much anger and hurt within ourselves, we feel like we don't want to try again. But everyone deserves to be loved and respected. The issue is that we allow too much in relationships and we ignore red flags. Give it some time, there is someone out there for you, never give up! You've got this 👍🏻
A lot of men deal with a lot of nonsense as well and unfortunately people have been played so much by selfish individuals they have their guard up so high they can’t let someone in.
But in time mess between old. With age they pay attention a.d let go because if you don't you will miss out on a good man and your real blessing. If it is meant to be there should not be so many problems.
If u can't communicate, if your inconsistent if you give and don't receive, if u feel left confused, it's not up to you to fix, it's up to you to value yourself enough to let go and self love to find happiness in yourself. We can't change ppl and shouldn't try. Not our lessons to keep enabling bad habits. Be the queen and have that self respect.
That is soooo true on the 50/50. I offered that early in my last relationship, and he took plenty advantage. He made about 3 times what I made, but was poor with money and had various debts, so most of the time it was more like 60/40 with myself carrying the larger share of all financial burdens because I was much smarter with my money. Created a lot of resentment in the relationship. And lack of security.
I was with a man who shut me down every time I try to talk about my feelings. He was not willing to listening to me. He told me I was stupid. Everything you said was right that I went through. I really tried to work through it and sweep under the rug. Eventually you can see the hump on the rug.
@Abc Def makes sense. I poor my heart and soul into this man just for my feelings to be put aside. Like I don't matter. But I later figured out that I was not in love with him either, so it was a dead end street for both of us. @Stephan Speaks, I am so grateful for your videos. It really shine some light on my situation.
@Abc Def Amen to that. You are absolutely right. My daddy left me and my sister at a young age. My sister never bonded with my father like that, but I was daddy's little girl. For a long time I long for a man to show me love and affection. Because I felt like I had something missing. But all I really needed was God. God is the father of all. I'm his daughter and I am grateful he saved me from myself. I pray that woman who has that mind set, and find God & build a relationship with him because he is the only way. 🙏🏾
I've been in a relationship for 15 months. We have had a great relationship but I've noticed recently he will express how he feels but when I express my feelings he shuts down and won't talk to me. This is emotional abuse and signs of a narcissist. This just started and I'm ending it. I've addressed it but he tries to ignore the situation instead of communicating. A relationship will not survive without communication.
#7 is the silent killer. It’s not always blatant “negligence”.. it comes on slowly but then all of a sudden you’re not a priority. You realize you’re always putting in effort and he’s not giving any. It sucks. But overall this video is so important and well explained. Boys and girls take note!
Just left a 16 year marriage for this very reason(actually 1 of many) but it slowly kills a relationship until one day you wake up and you’re complete strangers.
I have been experiencing #7. Intimacy is there, but affection has always been one sided. With affection/touch being a major love language of mine it is very hurtful and makes me feel unloved. This isn't the only issue but definitely a big issue.
I’m about to leave my boyfriend of 9 years. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done. 😢 Stephan.. you are a God send to me! I’m listening to your videos & reading your books. Thank you for helping so many people like me.
@@christinanataliapuspita8526 Wow! Are you psychic? Lol I just told him tonight! It’s been such an emotional night. I move to Tennessee in a month. Already have a place to live even. I’m doing it!! He’s very upset & emotional. But I’ve been upset for years about our ‘relationship’ and he’s had so long to really commit to me. I should’ve left a long time ago. I’m very sad but know there’s a light at the end of this tunnel. Thank you for asking!! 😊
@@onerationallady2661 I imagine it's hard.. I hope you the best... I just wanted to know how the video relate to real case relationship, that's why I'm asking.. if you don't mind, may I ask about what things make you upset for so long in the relationship?
@@oneilfarquharson7393 you are so right but anyone is not the person you're looking to love you and spend the rest of your life with I'm an big believer in when anyone start disrespected you walk away but a lot of women now days will stay in a relationship and take the lieing the cheating the disrespect just to keep an man GOD gave everybody common sense but some people don't use It you have a bless day.
Another red flag that I have experienced is when a man refuses to put you on his social media or post pictures of each other or even worse, say they “don’t have social media” and come to find out they do and are hiding another girlfriend or many women
So true, peculiarly recently a situation with a guy never put his face on FB and we never had a pic of us together. I only see now that this is “red flag” and yes likely to be hiding partner/girlfriends/wife
Yup. I can go further... what about when a new man constantly states that he doesn’t use social media and mentions how social media breaks up families. Then when I told him that I don’t use social media either, he refuses to believe me and randomly asks for my Facebook or Instagram. It’s kinda funny actually.
My boyfriend never understood what I felt and what I wanted. Although he is a nice guy and I never wanted to leave him. But, I had some expectations. I even played question games like Lovify. And, it did help us understand each other better. I also got to know his expectations. It brought us closer. Now, we are trying to open up about topics we previously avoided 💗💗
Some men are busy trying to get in your clothes, like they are fashion designer but not interested in anything else ladies wake up and 🏃🏽♀️🏃🏽♀️🏃🏽♀️ as fast as you can📖✏️
I went through this. I would say something, he would say I was disrespecting him often bc it caught him a certain way. Especially if he tried to state it as facts and I could refute it.
A simple but huge red flag is if you don’t feel that connection. If that connection is not there then that is unlikely the man God has ordained for you which essentially means that the relationship will never be all that it can and should be for your life and purpose. Fantastic video Stephan ❤️
Communication really is important. Trust me...i was shut down and made to feel stupid any time i wanted to express my feelings...it made me feel lower than dirt. and when you love someone with all your heart and they make you feel that way...it hurts worse than anything i can describe. Have you tried to tell someone youre depressed, and sobbed and you just wanted a hug to feel loved and comforted, and he turns to you and says "Ugh give me a fucking break!" ...god...it just makes you wanna die. It stays with you. Never again did i open up to anyone else or to him ever again.
So sorry. Been through the same. Asked my boyfriend for a hug and he said i should look for him if i really want it. This is after he shared his day's program without addressing my need for that hug.
Something that needs to be said... I blame society for a lot of these issues. We have downgraded our self worth so much that we now except less than what we deserve on a regular basis. Men and women in general need to learn to expect MORE from their significant others. Nowadays, it’s so easy to just navigate from one relationship to the next because so many are so willing to put up with less effort so we don’t have to be alone.
Yessss💯I’m 24 I’m still learning but at least someone feels me but it a lot that’s not talk about that I had to learn the hard way or n the street n it’s sad
It's not society's fault. We're all the society. It's blaming others and being irresponsible. People don't learn when they blame others. Own your mistakes, learn, and move tf on!
Verbal abuse,Physical abuse, mental abuse, financial abuse and sexual abuse all come under control and domestic violence. Domestic violence helplines help with all these situations. Stephan is right all are soul destroying
@@lorettasarro7873 Hello Lori. Do you mind me asking what country you live in? I’d love to be of help in any way I can. Have you tried to call the help lines? I know your experience.
You're right, Stephan. Dated an emotionally broken man who wouldnt put a title on the relationship but insisted he loved his ex and that we were NOT in a relationship, however he refused to let me go. He'd chase me down if I even thought of leaving so it became a 5 year long battle and he still hasnt stopped although I stopped seeing him 2 years ago. He almost cost me my life, I went into an autoimmune episode and had heartfailiure as a complication from the emotional stress. It was like dating a demon.
@@conniegrant6381 Yeah I went right into another abusive relationship after this one and am now in therapy. Turns out he suffered from schizophrenia and covert psychopathy. The guy after him only from antisocial personality disorder so psychopathy and he is ten times nicer but still an ass. It was still a good thing though because I learned so much about human pscyhology and about my own patterns and why so it gained me in the end. And after taking big doses of vitamin D, that too helped tons for my autoimmune disorder.
Thank you for this clarity! I think we women can get so infatuated with a guy that we ignore the red flags...hoping against hope the he will change. But truth is truth. Ladies, stand your ground on being respected and cherished.
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It is so sad that I am having to watch this stuff at 42 years old. I finally walked away after 18 years of most of these things. Please people, if this stuff is happening..do not waste your life away thinking it will get better. It never does.
Stephan you are so on point! I wasted almost 15 years in a marriage with a man that emitted several of these red flags. I ignored them for so long, until I found out about his serial cheating. That was the final straw for me. Have been free from that for 10 years and happier, but now my 22 year old daughter is making the same mistake having rushed into a relationship, that’s turning out to be very toxic. She’s seen the red flags, names them, cries out to me, but then chooses to ignore the same red flags. A lot of gaslighting going on. She refuses to listen to me and has now stopped speaking to me. All I can do is pray.
I can understand you daughter’s standpoint and why she’s ignoring the red flags to keep staying in the toxic relationship. I’ve been in the same situation as her, trying to convince myself and ignore warnings from others no matter what. It was because I thought the relationship was God-given, and there were many coincidences that my ex and I both thought were signs from God. When I saw the red flags in him, I always try to convince myself that if this is the one God brings to me, I can change him, through God and through prayers. But the thing is you can only change a person if they know they are wrong. If they think they’re right with what they’re doing, good luck trying to change them. God changed the hearts of many really bad sinners, but that’s only when they asked Him to do so. God can’t turn his creature into a robot and suddenly change them when they don’t want to. Also, if you look at nature, you will see that there’s no way a dog can become a cat, or an olive tree can become a a fig tree. So if it’s a person’s nature, in other words, they see what they’re doing as normal and right, you can’t change them. Another thing to keep in mind, especially in relationships, is that sometimes there is no right or wrong person. You two may just be incompatible. If you’re a cat, don’t force yourself to become like a dog and marry a dog. It just doesn’t work no matter what. Hope your daughter can see this message. Let her know that I have been in her situation, and now that I’ve just gotten out of it, I have seen things much clearer, and have become myself again. If she’s confused now about God’s will in her relationship, tell her that she will feel like God has opened her eyes once she gets out of it. That’s what I’ve experienced, very clearly and deeply.
Leave her she will learn the hard way just be there to comfort her but don't forget to tell her you warned her,I use to listen to my daughter give the best advice and she took none!what I did when I see she messing up is remind her of what she showed me and how I should love myself and don't allow nobody to use and abuse me that always gets her.
Tell her don’t get pregnant and his true self will come out without distractions. Baby’s are an excuse to keep trash in your life And man child likes that
This was amazing! Had to break off my 6 month relationship. My bf couldn’t seem to communicate well with me. It was hard because he would always put it back on me. I set boundaries and he never truly respected them. I was not being heard. For me…I Let go!
I am in a relationship and I make a lot more. My lady has 4 kids (3 by 1 man who pay no child support or do for his kids but he claims on child on his taxes) The other father pays child support but he isn't in his daughter's life. I say all this because I foot the big Bill and she pays less but to help her , I ask to pay half sometimes, in my thoughts she dont get help from the father ,so, I ask to pay half as to give her a break and me not having to foot all of - considering she don't have him on child support, am I wrong for that?
Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries, ladies. And never think in the beginning that he is shy bc of drinking too much, badly treated in an earlier relationship or by his parents or in need to some “education”.
Please ladies! You are too precious to settle for anything less than you deserve! There IS someone for you who will love you the way you need & deserve!
I was married to a man who stayed in his bed and slept while my mom was taken to the ER and admitted to hospital. I stayed at the hospital all night and he never called once to see how she was doing. Needless to say, we are now divorced. Should have divorced him sooner....
Barbra, you can’t expect your husband to live your mother. Most of us men hate mother in laws. Why couldn’t you let the man be happy that your mom was in the er? You be the sad one. What good is it if both people are sad and useless?
The best man I was in a relationship with was retire I was working and making good money! He only had his social security but this was the greatest man ever, extremely thoughtful he would do the cooking shopping and with the small amount of money he had would do the LittleThings that met more to a woman then any large amount of money could.
I wish this was the only thing. I really wanted to be with him almost 30 yrs ago. Now, we've found each other again. I thought it was meant to be... It's sad 😔 but I gotta go 🚶🏾♀️
I should had listen to this during the dating stage cause after the fact i realized he isn't capable 😂 in fact he asked me for money numerous of times 😒 and yes i done paid his bills in full. Done paid for his down payment for his new 2019 car (3500). Mind u, he makes wayyyyyyyy more money then i do! Great career 😒
That’s the new mantra for 2021 dating. I read a post and so many women were ok with that. Telling other women they were entitled and selfish for disagreeing with this mindset.
Hit the nail on the head with all the red flags. Those signs are indicating that your partner is just not serious about you.Great video Stephan. Stay blessed!
Please do a video on emotional abuse. Some of us women do not realize we are being emotionally abused until some kind of damage is done. Like when a partner goes quiet on you for so long and later comes back and blames you for something you were not aware about or did not think was an issue. Or even after apologizing about a mistake.
Dealing with that now. Verbal,emotional,financial, even throwing stuff at me. I am completely torn up inside. I never knew this was another part of domestic violence. Sad thing is my kids think it's okay to treat me the same way
Thank you for mentioning verbal abuse and how it can severely impact individuals. Not to downplay physical abuse, but verbal abuse can and does stay with you long after a relationship ends. Together three years, broke up a year ago, and he is still in my head!😰🤯 Also; giving a title to a relationship and being able to communicate about issues. I was made to feel like why was I bringing this up again?! Because he always shut me down! I stumbled upon your videos and they are a blessing!
He was sooo good to me at first but now I don’t even recognise him.😭 He doesn’t even listen to me or try to understand me, always shuts me down to get outta situations that he might not wanna talk about, he constantly taking from me all my love and support but not giving back anything, he’s getting brain washed with all these toxic instagram pages telling men how to treat their women and what not to do for her. Just today he disrespected me and didn’t want to apologise. I asked him to apologise but he ignored me soooo IM SOOO FKIN DONE WITH HIM!! I deserve much more better than that. Thank you Stephan!!❤️ most of the red flags you’ve mentioned he has them. I already noticed but you’ve just confirmed it for me so thank you very much 🙏🏽
@@marthavineyard6959 no I haven’t but I’ll definitely check them out! It’s just disappointing wasting 7 month of my life on him but oh well Thank you thou💕
I’m so glad you addressed verbal abuse because I haven’t been hit on but that verbal abuse to me is worst than physical. It’s so real…. And it’s not ok. It’s like a bully that won’t go away!
16:37 really spoke to me. Just left a situation like this and glad I did. Sometimes our desire to just “be” with someone can affect us negatively especially when we know we’re pretending we’re okay but settling for less. Do yourself a favor ladies, if he’s purposely not trying to claim you, stop wasting your time and let it go.
i Have Done the Same, just Stepped Out, and it has been the HARDEST THING, that I have ever done, with a Relationship. He Stole every it of my Self Confidence & Self Esteem, + My TRUST. I TRUST NOBODY, other than my Best Friend Anymore & She tells Me, that I did the Rite Thing. (She Didn't Like Him, from the Start, always said that He was a " PRETTY BOY, WANNA BE) & SHE WAS RIGHT. HE WAS.
#4- Ouch..Unfortunately it is so easy to excuse verbal/emotional abuse but the day comes where the hurt builds up to a point where being in the relationship hurts more than the possibility of being alone.
Thank you Stephan. I refuse to settle and will remain single until the man that God has for me shows up. In the meantime I am taking heed and listening to my relationship Coach 👏💕👏
Wow totally agree with all of these.... also feel that as a woman I have ignored a lot of the red flags in the past. This is also where we need to start to start asking God if he approves of this person we are dating, He will usually let us know.
Great video and great points. I agree with all of your 7 red flags, and would like to add perhaps #8 for believers. A man who does not have God in his life or place any value on spiritual and moral development is a big red flag. As he cannot lead the relationship without God and his moral character cannot develop into a Godly man. Red flags are indications that more problems will increase if you stay, toxicity breeds negative energy. Thank you for the video. Be blessed,always.
So true, sista. I left my husband after 2 years..there was no spiritual connection. He claimed to be a man of God...go figure. God, in so many words, told me we were unequally yoked. I am happy and at peace now. Thank God!!!🙌🙌🙏
Oh so true. I wasn't very Godly in my last relationship because he would put down my belief. I got sucked into it, and had a breakdown because of my loss of connection with God. Now I will only date a man who had a spiritual foundation.
Going unheard in a relationship is so much torture that’s why I would be very reluctant to enter a commitment with a person where there is very limited opportunity, if any, to be heard.
We as women need to focus on our self worth In knowing and truly believing in what we deserve in our relationships, we will stop settling for the bare minimum for the sake of having or just being in a relationship Learning to tap into our intuitions more we will learn to embrace and feel what our gut is truly telling us to know if we should even be entertaining a relationship we know GOD did not intend for us to be in
All men not the same their are good men out here n Also some will treat you like a queen , feel important , also show you actions . It ‘ s simple thing keep a woman first show actions by doing little things !
We should understand as women that we should be secure in who we are. Also, that we’re the prize in the relationship. The Bible verse Proverbs 18:22 “He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD.”
@@thatway1784 especially if you have kids. If they grow up around abuse, especially between the ages of 0-5, the boys tend to become abusive as well when they grow up and the girls tend to choose abusive partners. They're just repeating the cycle of what they've been exposed to.
Red flag number one: 50/50 men! Never waste your time with a man who can’t be bothered to take care of the dinner tab. All men over the age of 30 know this if they have been raised correctly with manners. We are not asking for a Gucci spending spree, a brand new car, a lavish vacation or asking the man to pay my rent/utilities (although there are women who do that). This is a dinner tab. If he can’t meet that bare minimum, run for the hills. He’s either a penny pincher (and you’re getting a glimpse of what your relationship/marriage with him will look like) or he’s not very serious about you. Both are not good signs.
Run, DON'T WALK, away from any partner unwilling to respect you. THEY DON'T LOVE YOU. I'm having to rebuild my entire life because I allowed years of disrespect from a person I now understand is a fake, wounded little person who's comfortable with devaluing the people they said they love most. Don't waste your life with an unworthy partner, they will deplete your joy. You deserve better.
We went pass the dating stage to planning to get married. He shows me off to all his family members, He was a provider but not knowing he was taking account of every penny spent on me. But then I was working for him and I was accountable to the business 100%. Suddenly He stops talking about future, when I asked it became me nagging and being desperate, then looks for any little comment to lash out. Then boom the break up and the new woman showed up and he is married. You will always see the red flag except you choose to ignore it. As a woman I think it's best never to work for your man. have your own life and business outside your man. I became only a business partner to him for a long time before the breakup.
Whoso findeth a wife, findeth a good thing. It sounds like he was looking for a wife and saw that you aren’t one and made you an employee instead. ‘Let’s get you out of my pocket and on my payroll. You won’t stay long after you see my future wife around here’. Let’s not focus on the married guy with resources. Were you truly fit, feminine, cooperative, friendly, AND submissive? These are things women won’t ask themselves about themselves b/c accountability is like kryptonite to a woman. Whoso findeth a wife...means when we find you you’re already a wife and we make you a married woman.
@@Bxconnect. You made some valid points here. But I was everything you mentioned and more. What I eventually came up with is the fact that he was not mine. He thought he loved me but he never did. He eventually found someone he loved.
@@gloriaarije6035 you can’t make this shit up. I highly doubt you we’re fit, friendly, feminine, cooperative, and submissive. One or more of the qualities weren’t present. Your responses are all about him. ‘He thought, but he didn’t’, makes you continue thinking you were fine when that couldn’t be true or you’d be married-to somebody. So, are you really fit? BW think thick with thighs rubbing is fit. Are you really feminine? BW think feminine is attire and not within. I can go on, but basically he and his peers saw what you really are as opposed to what you think you are. Remember, he ended up employing you having counted the $ he spent on you which tells me at the least you were viewed as a liability. Instead of dealing with what he wasn’t, what did he want? The answer is how she became his wife.
Dude, you are so 💯 right. I wish you were around for me years ago. However, you're here now, and hopefully, folks are listening, not just watching and taking your advice. Thank you, and God bless you!!
#4: “when he gets verbally or physically abusive. “ 😞 Oh gees. Not to mention the emotional, spiritual and psychological abuse. That’s even worse than physical abuse.
Stephan you are so wise and encouraging. I'm 52 and met a man 57 whom is still playing the game. It was amazing how much he was stuck on body types. It was then I figured he wasn't for me... I thought this Ole Gee got it coming for him and moved on with my life.. Thank you for your words and encouragement.
#2 be aware or constantly lying by omission and gaslighting on purpose. Sometimes people do forget things but sometimes people purposely try to confuse you.
We were dating for a month, had 3-4 dates. We almost net everyday and he said he ain't seeing anyone else. I asked him I don't wanna be friends with benefits and want a title. After that things went south, he said he can't trust, he wants to know if we sexually compatible. I do miss him, but I had to let him go as he started gaslighting me just one month in the dating time. Idk if it was too soon to ask for commitment but I didn't wanna have sex with someone who is not mine
if he wanted sex that soon..its not too soon for you to say what you wanted, so you don't waste your time or his.the one that truly want to get to know you and be with you will understand that..next time you meet a guy..just let them know from beginning, we can be friends first then see were it goes from there..alot of people just jump right in before getting to know each other... Let a person know how u feel and what you want in any kind of relationship.
leave him alone. If a man is gets sn attitude and maked you feel guilty about your expectations or standards, you need to cut him off before you start catching feelings. You would have been hurt worst, if you slept with him, then he leaves you. Know your worth and set your standards. If he's not on the same page, leave him alone. Your not his wife why he gets wife benefits? Just saying
You asked for commitment way too fast. You have to put yourself in his shoes, if he was a solid person and mentally stable, he definitely asked himself why is she rushing for a commitment so fast. What does she have to hide, going fast it's a red flag. One month is way to short of a time. Just keeping it 💯 with you! And you stated you miss him, he couldn't been that bad for you to miss him but you only know him for a month.
Ever since I found this channel, this is the first, best and only place I come and take lessons on relationships. I’m happy I found this channel. I just learnt about these red flags 🚩 and they are helpful.
I felt like you were talking directly to me. On my journey of healing. Was in a situationship with a guy who just gave crumbs and I was accepting of it, I finally let that go. He wanted the benefits of being treated like my man but didn't want to title anything. There were other red flags as well but I was blinded by the ephatuation . The more I worked on myself the less I was willing to accept. And YOU hit the nail on the head, he then tried to flip it and say he chooses not to be around my animosity or sarcasm. What he failed to realise is that I was already done.
@@MeetStephanSpeaks Thanks so much, I'm actually doing really well. Life is TOO short to be involved with someone who isn't deserving of all I have to offer. You know what's crazy is that a LOT of what you talk about is common sense, it's just takes a gorgeous man like you for us to stop and listen..LOL
What I love about Stephan is that he keeps it real. I have been a lot wiser ever since I started listening to him. I have seen red flags so many times but I always ignored it. I now realize that is the reason my past relationships never worked. I appreciate that we are getting free relationship advice online to help us become better. I have like 5 of your books and I plan to buy more. I am tired of getting it wrong. Thank you for what you do Stephan!
Great video Stephan. A red flags for me is when I met a guy and he ask me for my number and call me to come over my house. Another is when you talk to a guy you meet and talk over the phone and ask questions like why are you not in a relationship then he will say "women be tripping" or use sexual phases and say things like "big legs" so when are we going on a date but never make plans Another red flags is when a guy he is going to call you right back but never do call you 2 weeks later. I recently had. Happen to me yesterday I blocked him. No time for games he is in his 50's I'm tired 😩 of the bs. Blessing 🙏🏾
This was interesting! I was the first girl with 7 older males, 2 brothers and 5 older male cousins. I thank them because, unwittingly, they taught me a lot of the things that Stephanspeaks shared. Thank you for validating my "life training". My mom and Aunts echoed the same words you shared-"just get a man. It doesn't matter how he treats you". Glad I didn't listen. I am single still but that is my choice not to settle to say I am in a relationship for looks. I don't do the "forever girlfriend" thing, and if I don't know where I stand, I don't stay. There is no reason. He is taking up the space/place of a man that I deserve and deserves me.
As a woman another red flag is when you don't feel the connection with the guy. You do not have to think hard to force yourself to lik a man you don't fancy.
Red flag #5 is what really put me over the edge. This was my ex-husband. It is not that he didn't post me on social media, the problem is that he would be on social media all day, every day commenting on other women's posts & flirting but never commented, liked or posted anything on my own page. Also he never changed his status, he was always single even after we got married. The only people that knew we were married, on his side were people at church & 1 of his sisters. His baby mama didn't even know he was married. He cared more about her feelings than mine.It was all good before we got married, but after he changed. Then it was put in my face by another woman he was talking to on social media, asking me who I am to him.
That's a red flags for me to being on social media then and flirting with other women and disguise as we are just friends. She not your friend you n we hang out with her. It's redicuilous smh. Blessing 🙏🏾
Your time is precious, let no man waste it! 💯 Get your copy of the bestselling book "He's Lying Sis" here 👉 www.heslyingsis.com 👈 this book has been helping women everywhere!
Please what do you say about a man saying the lady should be paying her transport fare for outings and to come over to his place
@@queenpearl9235 do u need him to always drive you around ? Does he always have to pick you up.
I was paying half before my marriage and after, half for groceries, vacations household bills, he is now my EX HUSBAND🤣🤣🤣🤣 For real though, I had no problem with it
They call that paying dutch which has to be explained first by either.
I am so inspired by your channel I just ran across it watching regular videos and you really make things clear I had a lot of changes and I still have a lot of challenges ahead of me emotionally physically and spiritually. I am a mom and a wife and a daughter that I am mostly MOM! I HAVE FOUR TEENAGE SONS TWO THAT ARE AUTISTIC AND I AM NOW ON DISABILITY AND MY HUSBAND HAS ABANDONED THE MARRIAGE THUS I HAVE MOVED IN WITH MY PARENTS BECAUSE IT'S HARD TO TAKE CARE OF MYSELF I HAVE SEIZURES I HAVE 15 DOCTORS AND ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT ARE MY FOUR SONS YOU'VE GIVEN ME INSPIRATION TODAY THAT LIFE CAN BE CHANGED AMEN 🙏
Sharing a RED FLAG that I experienced: Dating men who want to "Fast Forward" the sexual side of a relationship, and push "Pause" on making a commitment. Women, stop sharing your body with men who do not love you & commit to you.
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback.
@@MeetStephanSpeaks Thanks! I just found your channel and I like your approach. You get to the point and say things women need to hear. Hearing it from a man really helps.
Women feel if they don't share their bodies someone else will. Women lost themselves and lower themselves because they have low self-esteem.
Yass
True!💯 Especially a lot of young women who look up to celebrities like Cardi B!
My top red flag is a man who's words and action don't align.
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback.
My red flag is when a woman puts a picture of her when she was 20 when she really 40.
Mine too when his actions and words don't align
💯
When your date always tells you he has things to take care of during the date ex: watching grand children or visitors coming to house
I will NEVER AGAIN settle for less.
No respect, NO RELATIONSHIP.
It really helps when we embrace that. Thank you for sharing!
thats true.
Same thing for me 💪💪
Sing it loud Sister!!
@@territimmerman140 🥰
A man who loves you does not INTENTIONALLY hurt you !!!
8TH RED FLAG WOMEN SHOULD NEVER IGNORE..........A MAN WHO GETS MAD AT US FOR LISTENING AND PAYING ATTENTION TO STEPHAN'S VIDEOS AND WORDS OF WISDOM....
Vague communication...."I'm handling business" why can't you say what you have going on...
@@lilmama35810 WHATTTT......ARE YOU HERE FOR ME OR FOR STEPH??...IF YOU HERE FOR ME, DON'T HIDE BEHIND A SYMBOL TO BE HEARD.....IS THIS ABOUT ME OR STEPH
💯😄
@@deidreolivas6091 THATS RIGHT BABY...YOU RIGHT......
👌🏽👍🏿
When a man loves you he does not mind providing and paying. Truth
You're absolutely right!
Mine has put me deep in debt ...
@@josiejose1636 sorry to hear that
@@MeetStephanSpeaks yes
@Abc Def definitely
#2 is a huge red flag for me. I’m a big believer that communication is key to a successful relationship. It’s a turn off for me when I’m constantly stonewalled every time I ask a question.
Communication is definitely key!
Amen!
Mine constantly feigned being too tired and why do we have to talk about this now! Grrrrr!
Same, if I can't communicate with you, I'm out the door.
@@kokohottie1669 some people will continue to push back so hard and remain silent. All the while still wearing a mask until you realize it’s not worth fighting for this one-sided situation and just pull away and go find your happiness elsewhere.
If a man isn’t willing to give your relationship a title, he’s basically telling you that he’s not serious enough to commit to you. Ladies, please don’t sell yourself short and waste your time on men who aren’t willing to honor you and commit to you. You are worth so much more than that
❤❤❤i learned this, been through this
And vise versa
Oh damn u just answered my question.. cuz he acting like he wanna be together, but also saying he just wants to be friends 😏
As a man, I appreciate you making these videos. I feel you’re very good at uplifting one gender without knocking the other. I also watch the videos you make geared to women because it gives me another perception to help me see my faults
Glad to hear that, thank you for your response!
Great comment.
@@MeetStephanSpeaks my pleasure, while I admit I’m not perfect, I will always try to look at ways to try to be better and I feel you’re really trying to help everyone do it
I do the same thing! I want to be healthy and be the person and future partner God wants me to be.
@@wilted_rose510 thank you, we should be giving Stephan credit for the way he presents his content to us. He knows how to be pro woman without being anti guy and he knows how to be pro guy without being anti woman
Please talk about men that are intimidated or jealous of a woman’s success, money, personality, potential and sees her as competition. It’s definitely a red flag
Great suggestion, I will add it to my list to get it done!
Sad but Absolutely True
Girl yessss!!! Please talk about this
Please
Men are not intimated by her success. They just don’t give af about your status.
You are right. He will put his money where he sees value.
Yep. Talk is cheap
Talk is definitely cheap.
It's all about boundaries, self worth, and having the courage to walk away from toxicity. These are lessons I learned the hard way, but peace of mind is priceless.
I'm with you on that one. Just felt ready to start dating again after 7 years to find myself again n already this new guy is smothering me. At least I know who I am this time n self worth. Can see this 'relationship' not lasting long. Good luck on your life journey.
I,very been married 35 years. When we first met he paid for most dates as I was 19 he 27.. when married he paid the mortgage, car and life insurances. I paid the inside bills. I think that's fair. When 2 people in a relationship one person should not have to pay for everything unless he,s rich, rich. We just went on vacation I paid the flight he paid hotel, shopping and eating. Don,t ever rely 100%on anyone because they can turn on you. Always have your own stash
Absolutely!!!! I agree 100%! Men struggle too and need support as well. Over here in the UK we tend to pay our way. Women pull out their wallets to pay
So correct.
I like your relationship dynamic.
I love this. This makes the most sense to me.
So 100% true
"A man that loves you will want to give you clarity and peace". Men are very intentional and strategic when approaching a woman, him not giving her a title just proves he is not that into her. He won't mind causing frustration and confusion for her. Even "going with the flow" vibe has a destination, things will have to end up somewhere so if he's not reassuring her, he doesn't have good intentions or a plan for the woman.
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback.
They are territorial by nature too...so if they don't state clear intentions, never assume.
Going with the flow does not have a destination.
@@nofybn7794 Yes, it doesn't. I just meant that something that is flowing does end up somewhere. Think of a ball rolling, it goes with the flow of the landscape so it will end up somewhere. So going with the flow has to eventually end up somewhere. When there are no intentions stated from the beginning, that's going with the flow. I hope I make sense 😬
Thank you... this clown am with went two days straight without no affection at all thinking I was a fish and wasn't going to notice. Am past caring atm. Respect first before love any day. .
If you can't communicate why are you together? Yep. Been there. If they can't even communicate with emotional maturity....no.
If I go on a date and the man wants me to pay half, I will say nothing, I will pay, but he is never going to see me again.
When God leads you to watch Stephan's Videos. It's a sign that He wants you to listen, learn and understand the things that u currently need in ur relationship.
You hit that one right on the nose
Your absolutely right, I was lead right to it. 💯
True. Ran into these videos today and they have all just been nothing but confirmations.
I talk to my ex like hes my therapist
Well said! ✌
The verbal abuse is just as dangerous as the physical abuse
It's more dangerous, imo.
Physically abusive men will usually abuse you mentally and verbally first to break you down then start putting their hands on you shortly after. So it sometimes goes hand in hand. STAY AWAY from toxic people. These men Can cause long term physical damage in a second. The moment they start putting you down you need to GO don’t risk it 😞
Yes people need to understand is has the same physiological effect on a person if not much worst as physical abuse
Can be worse cause if he’s gaslighting you’ll you may not even think you ARE being abused or you may blame yourself .
Very very underestimated, for sure
Red flag: ignoring your partner when they're trying to communicate.
If you ignore someone because you're processing emotions or information, just tell them you need space or time. However, deliberately withholding communication as a power play borders on emotional abuse. Passive-aggressive or inconsistent behavior is hurtful and will cause harm, both in the current and possible future relationships.
Thank you for sharing. I appreciate that!
He never wanted to communicate and move forward it was really mentally draining for me was overjoyed when he dump me. I am in a better place.
This hit home
That is a sign that you are dealing with a narcissist
@@thebestthinginmylife6205 sending love and light. Do what's best for your soul sweetie. Your worth it. You are worthy. You are enough. You are strong. You've got this🤗💞🙏
I truly have to say that a lot of men need to watch this video because a lot of men don't know where their mistakes are at...me I can speak for myself that I truly love my woman I respect her everyday highly favored to her I love taking care of her spoil her every time give her affection that she needs pay attention to her issues and try to resolve them I take the weight off of her and I deal with them doing the little things that matters to her. Send her love text messages out of the blue just because I love to making her smile. And now I'm planning on making her my wife. These are some of the things that my mother has taught me as a man to respect women how to cherish a woman so I truly believe that a lot of men should watch this video because I think it really help. Thanks Stephan for this great message.
You are Truly One of A Kind!!! She should value you as well!!! Love This!!! Congratulations!!!
I came back to this video to add a red flag: A man who comes on too strong too soon.
Facts!!!!!
Yup just went through this
That's love bombing. Classic narcissistic behavior.
So true anything that blows in fast will also blow out fast. He can be like gone with the wind.
Oooufff… hits close to home.
Avoidance is a red flag. A man saying, we'll see, I don't know, I'll get back with you, or straight up ignoring the question, failing to every return to address the issue or question.
Another way to get a 50/50 split but not look cheap is to have a joint account where each of you deposit the same amount of money on a regular basis . When you go out , Used the card to pay for the dinner/ outing so he looks as if he is taking you out but you just went Dutch
Or using the word ‘soon’. Hate that word 🤬
As a man I disagree with this being a red flag.. for example - if a women randomly brings up a vacation / get away idea that would obviously cost money and time away from work & the women wants an answer immediately... for the man to say "maybe" or "we'll see" could just mean he's mapping it out financially aka being responsible.
@@MrMistajone Yes, and that's fine but at least communicate the financial or plans needed. As grown adults, we know resources and commitments have to be considered. But 'soon' doesn't provide a plan of action!
I don’t think it’s wise to open any account with someone you’re dating just my POV
Being single will solve all these problems...so much peace....
More happy being single honestly
👑💯FACTS🙏
True for me,the checking someone’s phone and constantly worrying if he’s cheating on you. Don’t play yourself if God ain’t for it,you gon be constantly stressed about it. Happily single
Exactly..............
Lol so true
Thank You Stephan. Broke people stop trying to date. Focus on getting your life/finances together.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts I appreciate your feedback!
Hahahahhahaha. He didn't say that. You're twisting words. 👁️ roll.
🤣🤣🤣
Super truth! If you can't take proper care of yourself and have a set of standards and goals and the ability to handle and afford yourself...what are you gonna do with someone else?🤣🤣🤣😂
Lol...right. My ex was too cheap. I enjoyed treating myself on dates versus waiting on him to decide how much money he can spend on me
I've been in a 30 year relationship where my husband fits four of these things (50/50, doesn't listen, verbally & mentally abusive and doesn't meet my needs). After doing pros and cons, and stumbling across this video, I'M OUT! Thanks for confirmation.
Run Girl Run LMAO
Good for you he won't change EVER😒
I hope that you confronted him about his ways and at least given him a chance to change or not because no one can fix what they don't know is broken. If you're a church goer then I hope that you have tried married counseling with your pastor? if you haven't then at least therapy. I hope that your marriage can be saved. And it can if both parties are willing to do the necessary work. Best wishes to you and I hope that it all works out for your good.
My husband tried to end my life twice I was not going to make it three times I had not seen him in over a decade he tried to get me back I said HELL NOOOOOOOOOO I love ❤️ my life….REAL TALK 2021
@@wilmababygirl5629 I am so glad that you found a way out of an abusive married and I wish you all of the best in your life. Happy holidays!
If a man have to hide you, then he's hiding something or he's ashamed of you. A man is Supposed to provide and make sure that woman is safe with him. Thanks Stephen
❤ 🙂 Thank you for watching, I appreciate your feedback!
My ex bf always hide me. No one knew We were dating.
@@jessi547 I wonder if he's cheating on you or something?
I've recently ended a relationship where a guy I was seeing was earning 3x more than me and discovered he couldn't make positive financial decisions. There are so many red flags in men. Wanting to constantly message/call, checking up on you. Makes you feel wanted at first but you quickly realise it's actually an obsession. Needing constant reassurance & validation. Making it all about themselves. Pretending to have health issues so you feel sorry for them, needing that care from you. The moment he realised I was dead end, he switched off. I am so glad I came across these videos, I am doing a bit of a research and study on my behaviours and why I always attract toxic men. I want to focus on myself for a while and to heal from these experiences. We all deserve to be loved and respected. Not going to settle for any less, ever again 💯
I don't understand men. I give up.
@@heatherfulmore3412 you just need time to heal. When we have too much anger and hurt within ourselves, we feel like we don't want to try again. But everyone deserves to be loved and respected. The issue is that we allow too much in relationships and we ignore red flags. Give it some time, there is someone out there for you, never give up! You've got this 👍🏻
It was the best thing to do.
@@ivanafabisikova7585 yeah and he’s probably another woman!!
@@ladygodivathenakedtruth7476 LMFAO. That came out of no where
A lot of women deal with a lot of nonsense...The sad truth
I feel you it definitely isn't an easy situation, but we need to focus on doing what is truly best!
We must learn from our mistakes. Most of all stop making them and pay attention to the red flags 🚩
A lot of men deal with a lot of nonsense as well and unfortunately people have been played so much by selfish individuals they have their guard up so high they can’t let someone in.
True..so true😞
But in time mess between old. With age they pay attention a.d let go because if you don't you will miss out on a good man and your real blessing. If it is meant to be there should not be so many problems.
Know your worth to be able to accept nothing less than what you deserve🙏🏽💞
You're absolutely right!
@@MeetStephanSpeaks you're a good coach ;)
❤️❤️❤️
Preach
Only a penny
If u can't communicate, if your inconsistent if you give and don't receive, if u feel left confused, it's not up to you to fix, it's up to you to value yourself enough to let go and self love to find happiness in yourself. We can't change ppl and shouldn't try. Not our lessons to keep enabling bad habits. Be the queen and have that self respect.
Communication is definitely key!
You ain't lying. I been in this situation over and over
Leave that not worth your energy trust they will be the ones in regret
That is soooo true on the 50/50. I offered that early in my last relationship, and he took plenty advantage. He made about 3 times what I made, but was poor with money and had various debts, so most of the time it was more like 60/40 with myself carrying the larger share of all financial burdens because I was much smarter with my money. Created a lot of resentment in the relationship. And lack of security.
I was with a man who shut me down every time I try to talk about my feelings. He was not willing to listening to me. He told me I was stupid. Everything you said was right that I went through. I really tried to work through it and sweep under the rug. Eventually you can see the hump on the rug.
I'm sorry to hear about that and I pray that you heal all that you have been through! 🙏
@Abc Def makes sense. I poor my heart and soul into this man just for my feelings to be put aside. Like I don't matter. But I later figured out that I was not in love with him either, so it was a dead end street for both of us. @Stephan Speaks, I am so grateful for your videos. It really shine some light on my situation.
@Abc Def Amen to that. You are absolutely right. My daddy left me and my sister at a young age. My sister never bonded with my father like that, but I was daddy's little girl. For a long time I long for a man to show me love and affection. Because I felt like I had something missing. But all I really needed was God. God is the father of all. I'm his daughter and I am grateful he saved me from myself. I pray that woman who has that mind set, and find God & build a relationship with him because he is the only way. 🙏🏾
@@MeetStephanSpeaks thank you for your prayers and God bless you brother in christ 🙏🏾
I've been in a relationship for 15 months. We have had a great relationship but I've noticed recently he will express how he feels but when I express my feelings he shuts down and won't talk to me. This is emotional abuse and signs of a narcissist. This just started and I'm ending it. I've addressed it but he tries to ignore the situation instead of communicating. A relationship will not survive without communication.
I can't believe I wasted my precious time with that clown ex of mine 😣
Girl, don’t feel bad! I have too! Wasted 3.5 years and then some with other clowns 😩
Same
Me too girl im so mad at myself!
@@virgo1677 same!!!
Haha same
#7 is the silent killer. It’s not always blatant “negligence”.. it comes on slowly but then all of a sudden you’re not a priority. You realize you’re always putting in effort and he’s not giving any. It sucks. But overall this video is so important and well explained. Boys and girls take note!
Its the most hurtful thing ever.
Just left a 16 year marriage for this very reason(actually 1 of many) but it slowly kills a relationship until one day you wake up and you’re complete strangers.
Get the book "The New Rules" by Fein and Schneider. It prevents him from putting you on the back burner because you don't allow it.
This is so true. You putting in 100% and him doing the bare minimum. And dismissing it when you bring it up
I have been experiencing #7. Intimacy is there, but affection has always been one sided. With affection/touch being a major love language of mine it is very hurtful and makes me feel unloved. This isn't the only issue but definitely a big issue.
I’m about to leave my boyfriend of 9 years. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done. 😢 Stephan.. you are a God send to me! I’m listening to your videos & reading your books. Thank you for helping so many people like me.
❤❤❤❤❤.. God loves you and you don’t deserve bad thing ok !
what's happening?
@@christinanataliapuspita8526 Wow! Are you psychic? Lol I just told him tonight! It’s been such an emotional night. I move to Tennessee in a month. Already have a place to live even. I’m doing it!! He’s very upset & emotional. But I’ve been upset for years about our ‘relationship’ and he’s had so long to really commit to me. I should’ve left a long time ago. I’m very sad but know there’s a light at the end of this tunnel. Thank you for asking!! 😊
@@onerationallady2661 I imagine it's hard.. I hope you the best...
I just wanted to know how the video relate to real case relationship, that's why I'm asking..
if you don't mind, may I ask about what things make you upset for so long in the relationship?
Why are you still a girlfriend after 9 years? 🤔
When you start letting an Man disrespect you he's going to keep doing it
Most definitely!
Whatever you let anyone continue get away with they will continue do it!
@@oneilfarquharson7393 you are so right but anyone is not the person you're looking to love you and spend the rest of your life with I'm an big believer in when anyone start disrespected you walk away but a lot of women now days will stay in a relationship and take the lieing the cheating the disrespect just to keep an man GOD gave everybody common sense but some people don't use It you have a bless day.
Yes! I always wondered why my boundaries were always pushed, I was allowing it.
So true 😔
Another red flag that I have experienced is when a man refuses to put you on his social media or post pictures of each other or even worse, say they “don’t have social media” and come to find out they do and are hiding another girlfriend or many women
So true, peculiarly recently a situation with a guy never put his face on FB and we never had a pic of us together. I only see now that this is “red flag” and yes likely to be hiding partner/girlfriends/wife
Yup. I can go further... what about when a new man constantly states that he doesn’t use social media and mentions how social media breaks up families. Then when I told him that I don’t use social media either, he refuses to believe me and randomly asks for my Facebook or Instagram. It’s kinda funny actually.
My son daddy is this way
Wow
Yep this is the one thing I found he had a lot of one nite hookups
Yelling and swearing is a deal breaker. The motto is - do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Leviticus 19:18.....
My boyfriend never understood what I felt and what I wanted. Although he is a nice guy and I never wanted to leave him. But, I had some expectations. I even played question games like Lovify. And, it did help us understand each other better. I also got to know his expectations. It brought us closer. Now, we are trying to open up about topics we previously avoided 💗💗
what are the things you did? to let him know you like him but still has boundaries in tact?
Some men are busy trying to get in your clothes, like they are fashion designer but not interested in anything else ladies wake up and 🏃🏽♀️🏃🏽♀️🏃🏽♀️ as fast as you can📖✏️
I hate the nasty fighting! Fighting like there’s no tomorrow. Can never disagree without it being a full blown altercation!! Crazy!!
Run for your life.🏃🏾♀️🏃🏾♀️🏃🏾♀️
I went through this. I would say something, he would say I was disrespecting him often bc it caught him a certain way. Especially if he tried to state it as facts and I could refute it.
Why is it that every woman on here commenting looks like the type of woman who couldn’t give me an wrection?
Wasting time, energy, love, and intimacy into a relationship just to be called a “friend.”
I feel you it definitely isn't an easy situation but we need to focus on doing what is truly best!
That's the hardest thing I've ever had too handle
That isn't fair on you!
Yup 😭 I’m slowly making my exit and it Fkn hurts
I think mine was worse. Played house with a man who kneel down on one knee , for 5 years, only to be called a "client"
A simple but huge red flag is if you don’t feel that connection. If that connection is not there then that is unlikely the man God has ordained for you which essentially means that the relationship will never be all that it can and should be for your life and purpose. Fantastic video Stephan ❤️
Glad to hear that, thank you for your response!
🙏❤️
Amen, sista!!! 🙌
Amen 🙌
What if there was connection at first but he needs to work on himself n u feel ur self loosing that connection
Communication really is important. Trust me...i was shut down and made to feel stupid any time i wanted to express my feelings...it made me feel lower than dirt. and when you love someone with all your heart and they make you feel that way...it hurts worse than anything i can describe. Have you tried to tell someone youre depressed, and sobbed and you just wanted a hug to feel loved and comforted, and he turns to you and says "Ugh give me a fucking break!" ...god...it just makes you wanna die. It stays with you. Never again did i open up to anyone else or to him ever again.
I feel this, sorry
I understand exactly how it feels going through something like that now it don’t feel good trust I don’t want to open up again either it’s real
So sorry. Been through the same. Asked my boyfriend for a hug and he said i should look for him if i really want it. This is after he shared his day's program without addressing my need for that hug.
Just come out a marriage like that ..all u want is to be hugged and all u get is a cold shoulder..and told u always crying...
I’ve dealt with similar stuff it does hurt
Something that needs to be said... I blame society for a lot of these issues. We have downgraded our self worth so much that we now except less than what we deserve on a regular basis. Men and women in general need to learn to expect MORE from their significant others. Nowadays, it’s so easy to just navigate from one relationship to the next because so many are so willing to put up with less effort so we don’t have to be alone.
Your comment 🙌🏽🙌🏽
Yessss💯I’m 24 I’m still learning but at least someone feels me but it a lot that’s not talk about that I had to learn the hard way or n the street n it’s sad
It's not society's fault. We're all the society.
It's blaming others and being irresponsible.
People don't learn when they blame others.
Own your mistakes, learn, and move tf on!
So sad but true 😞
Have you considered plastic surgery?
As a woman, I appreciate your concern for the emotional health of the woman.
Thank you very much I'm happy to hear that 🙌
Verbal abuse,Physical abuse, mental abuse, financial abuse and sexual abuse all come under control and domestic violence. Domestic violence helplines help with all these situations. Stephan is right all are soul destroying
Glad to hear that, thank you for your response!
If it going through this is it time for divorce?
@@AS-un8bx yes, but for some it is dangerous to leave and this holds them back. 💙
It's not that easy believe me I'm a lady of domestic violence for 22 long yrs I couldn't even get help in any way so not always true!🙏😰
@@lorettasarro7873 Hello Lori. Do you mind me asking what country you live in? I’d love to be of help in any way I can. Have you tried to call the help lines? I know your experience.
You're right, Stephan. Dated an emotionally broken man who wouldnt put a title on the relationship but insisted he loved his ex and that we were NOT in a relationship, however he refused to let me go. He'd chase me down if I even thought of leaving so it became a 5 year long battle and he still hasnt stopped although I stopped seeing him 2 years ago. He almost cost me my life, I went into an autoimmune episode and had heartfailiure as a complication from the emotional stress. It was like dating a demon.
Hi, did you ever recover from your heart faiulure, is that possible? 😊
@@sunnydayz87 Nah its for life but its better with selenium.
Been there, so happy to read of your new strength!
@@conniegrant6381 Yeah I went right into another abusive relationship after this one and am now in therapy. Turns out he suffered from schizophrenia and covert psychopathy. The guy after him only from antisocial personality disorder so psychopathy and he is ten times nicer but still an ass.
It was still a good thing though because I learned so much about human pscyhology and about my own patterns and why so it gained me in the end. And after taking big doses of vitamin D, that too helped tons for my autoimmune disorder.
Thank you for this clarity! I think we women can get so infatuated with a guy that we ignore the red flags...hoping against hope the he will change. But truth is truth. Ladies, stand your ground on being respected and cherished.
True love never dies, I know a Dr baba who can help you get your ex or crush back,he can also help you with anything you desire,If you need his help,contact him on Whats-App via his number below
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback.
Was your man drinking when he met you?
It is so sad that I am having to watch this stuff at 42 years old. I finally walked away after 18 years of most of these things. Please people, if this stuff is happening..do not waste your life away thinking it will get better. It never does.
Thank you for this!
Stephan you are so on point! I wasted almost 15 years in a marriage with a man that emitted several of these red flags. I ignored them for so long, until I found out about his serial cheating. That was the final straw for me. Have been free from that for 10 years and happier, but now my 22 year old daughter is making the same mistake having rushed into a relationship, that’s turning out to be very toxic. She’s seen the red flags, names them, cries out to me, but then chooses to ignore the same red flags. A lot of gaslighting going on. She refuses to listen to me and has now stopped speaking to me. All I can do is pray.
Sorry to hear, reach out to her.She might need help, but a shame to seek help.🙏🏾❤️
I can understand you daughter’s standpoint and why she’s ignoring the red flags to keep staying in the toxic relationship. I’ve been in the same situation as her, trying to convince myself and ignore warnings from others no matter what. It was because I thought the relationship was God-given, and there were many coincidences that my ex and I both thought were signs from God. When I saw the red flags in him, I always try to convince myself that if this is the one God brings to me, I can change him, through God and through prayers.
But the thing is you can only change a person if they know they are wrong. If they think they’re right with what they’re doing, good luck trying to change them. God changed the hearts of many really bad sinners, but that’s only when they asked Him to do so. God can’t turn his creature into a robot and suddenly change them when they don’t want to.
Also, if you look at nature, you will see that there’s no way a dog can become a cat, or an olive tree can become a a fig tree. So if it’s a person’s nature, in other words, they see what they’re doing as normal and right, you can’t change them.
Another thing to keep in mind, especially in relationships, is that sometimes there is no right or wrong person. You two may just be incompatible. If you’re a cat, don’t force yourself to become like a dog and marry a dog. It just doesn’t work no matter what.
Hope your daughter can see this message. Let her know that I have been in her situation, and now that I’ve just gotten out of it, I have seen things much clearer, and have become myself again. If she’s confused now about God’s will in her relationship, tell her that she will feel like God has opened her eyes once she gets out of it. That’s what I’ve experienced, very clearly and deeply.
So true!
Leave her she will learn the hard way just be there to comfort her but don't forget to tell her you warned her,I use to listen to my daughter give the best advice and she took none!what I did when I see she messing up is remind her of what she showed me and how I should love myself and don't allow nobody to use and abuse me that always gets her.
Tell her don’t get pregnant and his true self will come out without distractions. Baby’s are an excuse to keep trash in your life
And man child likes that
If money is an issue, then he can't afford to be in a relationship.
Cardi b said broke men don’t deserve no 🐱😂
Wrong! It should not be about money; it should be about compatibility and mutual love..!
🙌
Same thing I say or get out and make more money. Don't complain
Exactly
People change..but patterns don't..look at past relationships..and their excuses for their failure's...best answer's are dual accountability..
Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate hearing from you ❤️
I still haven't started dating after divorce and it's terrifying.
You shouldn't apologize for being who you are.
thank you
You're absolutely right!
Amen!!!
This was amazing! Had to break off my 6 month relationship. My bf couldn’t seem to communicate well with me. It was hard because he would always put it back on me. I set boundaries and he never truly respected them. I was not being heard.
For me…I Let go!
Just went through this he would stall. “I don’t know right now” “idk what to do” “I’ll get back to you” on serious topics.
@@marylnmonroe samee :(... Sucks
Really
Narcissist!!!!!
Narcissist doesn’t respect boundaries
Ladies! DONT give up the GOODS! Keep your SHOP ....CLOSED!🤔😁😂 A QUEEN, DEFINITELY has NO choice in doing this. If her man is NOT KING MATERIAL 😤
Exactly. They will see then If you allow it then it will continue
I am in a relationship and I make a lot more. My lady has 4 kids (3 by 1 man who pay no child support or do for his kids but he claims on child on his taxes) The other father pays child support but he isn't in his daughter's life. I say all this because I foot the big Bill and she pays less but to help her , I ask to pay half sometimes, in my thoughts she dont get help from the father ,so, I ask to pay half as to give her a break and me not having to foot all of - considering she don't have him on child support, am I wrong for that?
Amen 100 percent
@@eesoulgoodbbq642 No you not,you are a good man.
Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries, ladies. And never think in the beginning that he is shy bc of drinking too much, badly treated in an earlier relationship or by his parents or in need to some “education”.
Please ladies! You are too precious to settle for anything less than you deserve! There IS someone for you who will love you the way you need & deserve!
Amen!!!🙌
Thank you. AMEN
...and his name is GOD!
Hallelujah
YESSSSS
I was married to a man who stayed in his bed and slept while my mom was taken to the ER and admitted to hospital. I stayed at the hospital all night and he never called once to see how she was doing. Needless to say, we are now divorced. Should have divorced him sooner....
Wow.smh
That's absolutely crazy...! No compassion
Barbra, you can’t expect your husband to live your mother. Most of us men hate mother in laws. Why couldn’t you let the man be happy that your mom was in the er? You be the sad one. What good is it if both people are sad and useless?
@@catalinamecham5318 boo he was just tired. Tired of his wife.
@@Filthy_Larry i don't like or trust my in laws but you sound like your single and insecure .
The best man I was in a relationship with was retire I was working and making good money! He only had his social security but this was the greatest man ever, extremely thoughtful he would do the cooking shopping and with the small amount of money he had would do the LittleThings that met more to a woman then any large amount of money could.
Glad to hear that, thank you for your response!
What happened to your relationship?
💕💕
What happened to the relationship?
I wish this was the only thing. I really wanted to be with him almost 30 yrs ago. Now, we've found each other again. I thought it was meant to be... It's sad 😔 but I gotta go 🚶🏾♀️
1. Cheats behind you're back
2. He lies
3. Talking to other girls on social media
That 50/50 on the bill is straight truth 🙌🏽
💯
I should had listen to this during the dating stage cause after the fact i realized he isn't capable 😂 in fact he asked me for money numerous of times 😒 and yes i done paid his bills in full. Done paid for his down payment for his new 2019 car (3500). Mind u, he makes wayyyyyyyy more money then i do! Great career 😒
@@jasminortiz1986 wow if he makes more than you what was his reasoning when he asked you?
@@Jasmine-eo9fo trying to get what he can he manipulated her how sad. What a slime ball.
That’s the new mantra for 2021 dating. I read a post and so many women were ok with that. Telling other women they were entitled and selfish for disagreeing with this mindset.
Hit the nail on the head with all the red flags. Those signs are indicating that your partner is just not serious about you.Great video Stephan. Stay blessed!
Thank you very much I'm happy to hear that 🙌
Please do a video on emotional abuse. Some of us women do not realize we are being emotionally abused until some kind of damage is done. Like when a partner goes quiet on you for so long and later comes back and blames you for something you were not aware about or did not think was an issue. Or even after apologizing about a mistake.
That's a great suggestion, I will add it to my list to get it done!
Sounds like you were dating a narcissist. That would be a good topic to avoid narcissistic men/women.
Dealing with that now. Verbal,emotional,financial, even throwing stuff at me. I am completely torn up inside. I never knew this was another part of domestic violence. Sad thing is my kids think it's okay to treat me the same way
That is covert narcissistic abuse. RUN!!!! 🏃 🏃 🏃 As fast as you can! Choose the nearest exit and DO NOT look back!
Some days it is very depressing because I do miss him,the old him. Nobody thought we would ever end up this way.
Thank you for mentioning verbal abuse and how it can severely impact individuals. Not to downplay physical abuse, but verbal abuse can and does stay with you long after a relationship ends. Together three years, broke up a year ago, and he is still in my head!😰🤯 Also; giving a title to a relationship and being able to communicate about issues. I was made to feel like why was I bringing this up again?! Because he always shut me down! I stumbled upon your videos and they are a blessing!
He was sooo good to me at first but now I don’t even recognise him.😭
He doesn’t even listen to me or try to understand me, always shuts me down to get outta situations that he might not wanna talk about, he constantly taking from me all my love and support but not giving back anything, he’s getting brain washed with all these toxic instagram pages telling men how to treat their women and what not to do for her.
Just today he disrespected me and didn’t want to apologise. I asked him to apologise but he ignored me soooo IM SOOO FKIN DONE WITH HIM!! I deserve much more better than that.
Thank you Stephan!!❤️ most of the red flags you’ve mentioned he has them. I already noticed but you’ve just confirmed it for me so thank you very much 🙏🏽
I'm sorry to hear about that and I pray that you heal all that you have been through! 🙏
Have you heard of Narcissist? Watch Narc Survivor or Assoc direct.
@@MeetStephanSpeaks thank you🙏🏽
@@marthavineyard6959 no I haven’t but I’ll definitely check them out! It’s just disappointing wasting 7 month of my life on him but oh well
Thank you thou💕
@@unseenseraph1069 🤣🤣 I’m planning to get rid of him not get him back 🤭 god no
I’m so glad you addressed verbal abuse because I haven’t been hit on but that verbal abuse to me is worst than physical. It’s so real…. And it’s not ok. It’s like a bully that won’t go away!
Sad but True
Same
16:37 really spoke to me. Just left a situation like this and glad I did. Sometimes our desire to just “be” with someone can affect us negatively especially when we know we’re pretending we’re okay but settling for less. Do yourself a favor ladies, if he’s purposely not trying to claim you, stop wasting your time and let it go.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts I appreciate your feedback!
i Have Done the Same, just Stepped Out, and it has been the HARDEST THING, that I have ever done, with a Relationship. He Stole every it of my Self Confidence & Self Esteem, + My TRUST. I TRUST NOBODY, other than my Best Friend Anymore & She tells Me, that I did the Rite Thing.
(She Didn't Like Him, from the Start, always said that He was a " PRETTY BOY, WANNA BE) & SHE WAS RIGHT. HE WAS.
@OJ TALKS how and where are you in your healing if you don’t mind me asking?
YES💯
#4- Ouch..Unfortunately it is so easy to excuse verbal/emotional abuse but the day comes where the hurt builds up to a point where being in the relationship hurts more than the possibility of being alone.
Thank you Stephan. I refuse to settle and will remain single until the man that God has for me shows up. In the meantime I am taking heed and listening to my relationship Coach
👏💕👏
Wow totally agree with all of these.... also feel that as a woman I have ignored a lot of the red flags in the past. This is also where we need to start to start asking God if he approves of this person we are dating, He will usually let us know.
Glad to hear that, God's approval is key, thank you for your response!
Amen 🙏🏻🙏🏻🔑
Amen
Amen
A man who wants you to be "50/50" is the same man who will have you carrying the groceries up the steps and changing tires in the hot sun.
Or he will have you working right until you have the baby!
@@LK-qz7eh and still paying your share of the Bill's while on maternity leave.
Soooooo true!!!! Lived it....
Yep
😲 yep!
i swear i learn more about life from this guy than anybody else
Glad to hear that, thank you for your response!
Great video and great points. I agree with all of your 7 red flags, and would like to add perhaps #8 for believers. A man who does not have God in his life or place any value on spiritual and moral development is a big red flag. As he cannot lead the relationship without God and his moral character cannot develop into a Godly man. Red flags are indications that more problems will increase if you stay, toxicity breeds negative energy. Thank you for the video. Be blessed,always.
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback, and be blessed as well!
@@MeetStephanSpeaks You are appreciated and I pray for your continued success. Excellence Always.
So true, sista. I left my husband after 2 years..there was no spiritual connection. He claimed to be a man of God...go figure. God, in so many words, told me we were unequally yoked. I am happy and at peace now. Thank God!!!🙌🙌🙏
Oh so true. I wasn't very Godly in my last relationship because he would put down my belief. I got sucked into it, and had a breakdown because of my loss of connection with God. Now I will only date a man who had a spiritual foundation.
amen to that!
Never have I been so sure that the end of my last relationship was the right thing as I am now. Thank you.
My pleasure ❤
Me too hey....
you better shut up & say it..sis I do agree with you
Same
Me too
Going unheard in a relationship is so much torture that’s why I would be very reluctant to enter a commitment with a person where there is very limited opportunity, if any, to be heard.
Communication is definitely key! There is no way you can have a successful relationship with a man who is unwilling to communicate with you
I ignored red flag #1 and it really was just as bad through out the 1 year relationship. I paid for our first date $130 🥴
Same and now I’m paying for the issues
A real man is define by his character how he carry himself, talks,respect himself and other's.
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback.
Marry someone who's heart is full with faith and worshipping of Almighty. Those have and true to themselves and others.
🥰🥰
@@szz4058 - RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We as women need to focus on our self worth In knowing and truly believing in what we deserve in our relationships, we will stop settling for the bare minimum for the sake of having or just being in a relationship Learning to tap into our intuitions more we will learn to embrace and feel what our gut is truly telling us to know if we should even be entertaining a relationship we know GOD did not intend for us to be in
All men not the same their are good men out here n Also some will treat you like a queen , feel important , also show you actions . It ‘ s simple thing keep a woman first show actions by doing little things !
We should understand as women that we should be secure in who we are. Also, that we’re the prize in the relationship. The Bible verse Proverbs 18:22 “He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD.”
I’m crying 😭
💯
50/50 🤕
Verbal abuse usual leads to physical abuse. I hope anyone listening to your video who's in that situation will find the courage to leave 🙏🏾🙏🏾
What if u have kids
@@thatway1784 especially if you have kids. If they grow up around abuse, especially between the ages of 0-5, the boys tend to become abusive as well when they grow up and the girls tend to choose abusive partners. They're just repeating the cycle of what they've been exposed to.
Usually it’s the woman who initiates.
Yeah can confirm it often does nitpicking turns to violent behaviour. Horrible to experience
And this is why I’m single!!
I have always had nothing but red flag s!! But I know God is going to send me the right man on the perfect time! 🙏🏼
Red flag number one: 50/50 men! Never waste your time with a man who can’t be bothered to take care of the dinner tab. All men over the age of 30 know this if they have been raised correctly with manners. We are not asking for a Gucci spending spree, a brand new car, a lavish vacation or asking the man to pay my rent/utilities (although there are women who do that). This is a dinner tab. If he can’t meet that bare minimum, run for the hills. He’s either a penny pincher (and you’re getting a glimpse of what your relationship/marriage with him will look like) or he’s not very serious about you. Both are not good signs.
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback.
@@MeetStephanSpeaks love your videos. Keep it up!
I’m 40 and will never pay your bill. Your an adult. Open your own door. Pay your own meal. Make your own bed. Wipe your own but.
@@Filthy_Larry it’s you’re*, not your. Learn to spell like an adult before you come at a lady
@HoneyNut Cocaine I bet your married.
Run, DON'T WALK, away from any partner unwilling to respect you. THEY DON'T LOVE YOU.
I'm having to rebuild my entire life because I allowed years of disrespect from a person I now understand is a fake, wounded little person who's comfortable with devaluing the people they said they love most. Don't waste your life with an unworthy partner, they will deplete your joy. You deserve better.
I'm sorry to hear about that, but I'm glad you are now on a path to healing 🙌 ❤
Yes, amen !!
Don’t let anyone Crush your spirit…, never again 💖
Amen Sis!!!
I have been there dear...😭
We went pass the dating stage to planning to get married. He shows me off to all his family members, He was a provider but not knowing he was taking account of every penny spent on me. But then I was working for him and I was accountable to the business 100%. Suddenly He stops talking about future, when I asked it became me nagging and being desperate, then looks for any little comment to lash out. Then boom the break up and the new woman showed up and he is married. You will always see the red flag except you choose to ignore it. As a woman I think it's best never to work for your man. have your own life and business outside your man. I became only a business partner to him for a long time before the breakup.
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate that and I pray that you heal from all that you have been through!
Whoso findeth a wife, findeth a good thing.
It sounds like he was looking for a wife and saw that you aren’t one and made you an employee instead. ‘Let’s get you out of my pocket and on my payroll. You won’t stay long after you see my future wife around here’.
Let’s not focus on the married guy with resources. Were you truly fit, feminine, cooperative, friendly, AND submissive? These are things women won’t ask themselves about themselves b/c accountability is like kryptonite to a woman. Whoso findeth a wife...means when we find you you’re already a wife and we make you a married woman.
@@Bxconnect. You made some valid points here. But I was everything you mentioned and more. What I eventually came up with is the fact that he was not mine. He thought he loved me but he never did. He eventually found someone he loved.
@@gloriaarije6035 you can’t make this shit up. I highly doubt you we’re fit, friendly, feminine, cooperative, and submissive. One or more of the qualities weren’t present. Your responses are all about him. ‘He thought, but he didn’t’, makes you continue thinking you were fine when that couldn’t be true or you’d be married-to somebody. So, are you really fit? BW think thick with thighs rubbing is fit. Are you really feminine? BW think feminine is attire and not within. I can go on, but basically he and his peers saw what you really are as opposed to what you think you are.
Remember, he ended up employing you having counted the $ he spent on you which tells me at the least you were viewed as a liability. Instead of dealing with what he wasn’t, what did he want? The answer is how she became his wife.
Girl dont even respond to them. Not worth your time. You deserve a better man who will put you first. Sending love.
Dude, you are so 💯 right. I wish you were around for me years ago. However, you're here now, and hopefully, folks are listening, not just watching and taking your advice. Thank you, and God bless you!!
#4: “when he gets verbally or physically abusive. “ 😞 Oh gees. Not to mention the emotional, spiritual and psychological abuse. That’s even worse than physical abuse.
Definitely not putting up with verbal abuse or physical abuse .
Glad to hear that, thank you for your response!
And EMOTIONAL ABUSE!
Damn right!
Emotional abuse to
At all sis!
Stephan you are so wise and encouraging. I'm 52 and met a man 57 whom is still playing the game. It was amazing how much he was stuck on body types. It was then I figured he wasn't for me... I thought this Ole Gee got it coming for him and moved on with my life.. Thank you for your words and encouragement.
Thank you 5000 tears later but I still believe you saved me more tears than sacrificed. I appreciate your words...
I pray that you heal from all that you have been through 🙏
#2 be aware or constantly lying by omission and gaslighting on purpose. Sometimes people do forget things but sometimes people purposely try to confuse you.
If we cannot talk I don’t need or want you
Thank you for sharing your thoughts I appreciate your feedback!
Facts
We were dating for a month, had 3-4 dates. We almost net everyday and he said he ain't seeing anyone else. I asked him I don't wanna be friends with benefits and want a title. After that things went south, he said he can't trust, he wants to know if we sexually compatible. I do miss him, but I had to let him go as he started gaslighting me just one month in the dating time. Idk if it was too soon to ask for commitment but I didn't wanna have sex with someone who is not mine
if he wanted sex that soon..its not too soon for you to say what you wanted, so you don't waste your time or his.the one that truly want to get to know you and be with you will understand that..next time you meet a guy..just let them know from beginning, we can be friends first then see were it goes from there..alot of people just jump right in before getting to know each other... Let a person know how u feel and what you want in any kind of relationship.
Run.
leave him alone. If a man is gets sn attitude and maked you feel guilty about your expectations or standards, you need to cut him off before you start catching feelings. You would have been hurt worst, if you slept with him, then he leaves you. Know your worth and set your standards. If he's not on the same page, leave him alone. Your not his wife why he gets wife benefits? Just saying
You asked for commitment way too fast.
You have to put yourself in his shoes, if he was a solid person and mentally stable, he definitely asked himself why is she rushing for a commitment so fast. What does she have to hide, going fast it's a red flag. One month is way to short of a time. Just keeping it 💯 with you! And you stated you miss him, he couldn't been that bad for you to miss him but you only know him for a month.
You shouldn’t have even had to ask
Ever since I found this channel, this is the first, best and only place I come and take lessons on relationships. I’m happy I found this channel. I just learnt about these red flags 🚩 and they are helpful.
I felt like you were talking directly to me. On my journey of healing. Was in a situationship with a guy who just gave crumbs and I was accepting of it, I finally let that go. He wanted the benefits of being treated like my man but didn't want to title anything. There were other red flags as well but I was blinded by the ephatuation . The more I worked on myself the less I was willing to accept. And YOU hit the nail on the head, he then tried to flip it and say he chooses not to be around my animosity or sarcasm. What he failed to realise is that I was already done.
Amen
I'm sorry to hear about that and I pray that you heal all that you have been through! 🙏
@@MeetStephanSpeaks Thanks so much, I'm actually doing really well. Life is TOO short to be involved with someone who isn't deserving of all I have to offer. You know what's crazy is that a LOT of what you talk about is common sense, it's just takes a gorgeous man like you for us to stop and listen..LOL
So true
.
Listen you spoke to my current situation. I know it’s time to exit! I won’t ignore it anymore.
Glad I could help!
Run like a track star baby fast ! You deserve better ❤️
What I love about Stephan is that he keeps it real. I have been a lot wiser ever since I started listening to him. I have seen red flags so many times but I always ignored it. I now realize that is the reason my past relationships never worked. I appreciate that we are getting free relationship advice online to help us become better. I have like 5 of your books and I plan to buy more. I am tired of getting it wrong. Thank you for what you do Stephan!
Great video Stephan. A red flags for me is when I met a guy and he ask me for my number and call me to come over my house. Another is when you talk to a guy you meet and talk over the phone and ask questions like why are you not in a relationship then he will say "women be tripping" or use sexual phases and say things like "big legs" so when are we going on a date but never make plans
Another red flags is when a guy he is going to call you right back but never do call you 2 weeks later. I recently had. Happen to me yesterday I blocked him. No time for games he is in his 50's I'm tired 😩 of the bs. Blessing 🙏🏾
This was interesting! I was the first girl with 7 older males, 2 brothers and 5 older male cousins. I thank them because, unwittingly, they taught me a lot of the things that Stephanspeaks shared. Thank you for validating my "life training". My mom and Aunts echoed the same words you shared-"just get a man. It doesn't matter how he treats you". Glad I didn't listen. I am single still but that is my choice not to settle to say I am in a relationship for looks. I don't do the "forever girlfriend" thing, and if I don't know where I stand, I don't stay. There is no reason. He is taking up the space/place of a man that I deserve and deserves me.
As a woman another red flag is when you don't feel the connection with the guy. You do not have to think hard to force yourself to lik a man you don't fancy.
This is what I pass through 😂
Currently my situation
Red flag #5 is what really put me over the edge. This was my ex-husband. It is not that he didn't post me on social media, the problem is that he would be on social media all day, every day commenting on other women's posts & flirting but never commented, liked or posted anything on my own page. Also he never changed his status, he was always single even after we got married. The only people that knew we were married, on his side were people at church & 1 of his sisters. His baby mama didn't even know he was married. He cared more about her feelings than mine.It was all good before we got married, but after he changed. Then it was put in my face by another woman he was talking to on social media, asking me who I am to him.
Is he an Aquarius 🤣🤣or Gemini wareva...just want to know his date of birth and month
That's a red flags for me to being on social media then and flirting with other women and disguise as we are just friends. She not your friend you n we hang out with her. It's redicuilous smh. Blessing 🙏🏾