I Have a Confession to Make...

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  • Опубліковано 15 січ 2025

КОМЕНТАРІ • 55 тис.

  • @mercscar4277
    @mercscar4277 4 роки тому +2500

    "They're all expired"
    To be fair, there's probably enough preservatives in those things to mummify a small dog.

    • @bitter-bit
      @bitter-bit 4 роки тому +64

      This is an underrated top level comment.

    • @LemonsOnTheFloor
      @LemonsOnTheFloor 4 роки тому +34

      HELP ME WHY IS THIS SO FUNNY

    • @theo.6810
      @theo.6810 4 роки тому +20

      I mean technically i think it could mummify ME my 5'2 self instantly persevered FOR 200 YEARS.

    • @saladfish5
      @saladfish5 4 роки тому +19

      That is _scarily_ specific.
      But surprisingly, I wouldn’t doubt it.

    • @soontobejamez4422
      @soontobejamez4422 4 роки тому +2

      Thanks for the idea

  • @nathangraves5266
    @nathangraves5266 4 роки тому +8997

    The longer Mark's hair gets, the stronger his chaotic energy grows.

    • @gwinnellheald8592
      @gwinnellheald8592 4 роки тому +169

      That is frighteningly accurate

    • @emmylouispog
      @emmylouispog 4 роки тому +128

      It’s true long hair is the gateway to the infinity of chaos that lies within us all

    • @connorjohnson8590
      @connorjohnson8590 4 роки тому +20

      He's like a chaos Sampson

    • @Tulip_bip
      @Tulip_bip 4 роки тому +23

      wut abt when he had like almost no hair but was *insanely* chaotic?

    • @Sapphirelily
      @Sapphirelily 4 роки тому +19

      So he can floof his hair for power again right??

  • @philaug974
    @philaug974 4 роки тому +5147

    Mark to Alex: "I have been... dishonest about my diet"
    Alex seeing this before preparing his next training: *So you have chosen death*

    • @cucco4e808
      @cucco4e808 4 роки тому +37

      Basically lol

    • @sanddry738
      @sanddry738 4 роки тому +139

      *GOD’S FITNESS TEST I N T E N S I F I E S*

    • @Liezaac
      @Liezaac 4 роки тому +6

      yey i gave it 666 likes

    • @philaug974
      @philaug974 4 роки тому +17

      @@Liezaac you absolute madlad

    • @friendcomputer2293
      @friendcomputer2293 4 роки тому +14

      By burpees.

  • @wolfgameso.o9997
    @wolfgameso.o9997 3 роки тому +8750

    other youtubers apology videos: "i didnt know i was being racist im sorry.."
    Markiplier: "i ate too many poptarts im sorry.."

    • @Qwerty-uh6up
      @Qwerty-uh6up 2 роки тому +27

      Hes gonna get faaaaatttttttt bruh

    • @BehelitZero
      @BehelitZero 2 роки тому +126

      For someone who portrays himself as an a-hole, that actually means a lot.

    • @weisswelle
      @weisswelle 2 роки тому +61

      that's what happens when you are not a racist person at all

    • @theothenbrabbit998
      @theothenbrabbit998 2 роки тому +56

      I mean, there isn't really much mark could do that would need an apology

    • @231thorium
      @231thorium 2 роки тому +25

      @@Qwerty-uh6up nah hes very muscular

  • @ryleh_horror1683
    @ryleh_horror1683 4 роки тому +2135

    Mark: eats a bunch of expired poptarts
    His Intestines: " And I took that personally"

  • @bloodyvalentine8350
    @bloodyvalentine8350 4 роки тому +2901

    This aged terribly within three days...
    Please help the cat is laying next to me and I can't get up in fear she'll be sad

    • @natetv1494
      @natetv1494 4 роки тому +39

      Yeah😂 I was expecting it to have the lifespan of a box of poptarts.. it wouldn’t go bad😂😂😂

    • @Paul20661
      @Paul20661 4 роки тому +8

      Haha yeah :(

    • @ChaseMC215
      @ChaseMC215 4 роки тому +7

      It wasn't the Pop Tarts that sent him to the hospital. It was his stomach

    • @stealthxg5045
      @stealthxg5045 4 роки тому +24

      @@ChaseMC215 Guess where Pop Tarts go? Your stomach.

    • @cmmuse
      @cmmuse 4 роки тому +24

      @@stealthxg5045 what? You’re telling me we don’t have a separate stomach specifically built into the delicate human body, to store pop tarts? Evolution, wtf?

  • @orozcoj0509able
    @orozcoj0509able 4 роки тому +2051

    "Imma eat it, but I dont trust it"
    *goes to hospital*

  • @SgtShadowCow
    @SgtShadowCow 2 роки тому +1939

    Markiplier: "Sponsor me or else!"
    Mark: "im on a diet i cant eat these, my trainer is going to kill me"
    Also Mark: *continues to eat expired pop tarts*

    • @yourgullible1556
      @yourgullible1556 2 роки тому +5

      i dont think poptarts like actually expire

    • @nathan9901
      @nathan9901 2 роки тому +20

      @@yourgullible1556 nah they deffo do cuz there's an expiration date

    • @rosaparks8688
      @rosaparks8688 2 роки тому +2

      @@nathan9901 They need one. I don’t think the expiration dates are accurate and they don’t really change after.

    • @nathan9901
      @nathan9901 2 роки тому

      @@rosaparks8688 what a stupid fucking thing to claim everything expires. If it didn't expire they'd milk tf out of that in advertising

    • @rosaparks8688
      @rosaparks8688 2 роки тому +9

      @@nathan9901 Have you had pop-tarts past their expiration date? I never thought I’d be asking this question, but they take a way longer time to expire than the packaging says they do. They’re like the canned goods of snacks. 😂

  • @acutabovetherestIX
    @acutabovetherestIX 4 роки тому +4993

    November 2019: Don’t tell Amy
    November 2020: Don’t tell Alex

  • @djredduck27
    @djredduck27 4 роки тому +11943

    unus annus: "dont tell amy!"
    markiplier: "dont tell alex!"

    • @thanalincoln
      @thanalincoln 4 роки тому +128

      @Yuii ._.Panther aight sry get out

    • @devv1291
      @devv1291 4 роки тому +34

      @Yuii ._.Panther cool dude, but I don't remember asking

    • @s3rvivor
      @s3rvivor 4 роки тому +138

      @The Panda claw a dear friend.

    • @logan7lion644
      @logan7lion644 4 роки тому

      Ima replays this its will over 1.5k like

    • @justamanda8000
      @justamanda8000 4 роки тому +43

      @The Panda claw Boi they were the best duo known to man

  • @alexdean9046
    @alexdean9046 4 роки тому +1615

    This video can be summed up as mark being scared of Alex, blaming Evan, and being mad at pop tarts for 30 minutes

    • @decyphxr8329
      @decyphxr8329 4 роки тому

      Tap on a clip to paste it in the text box.

    • @becauseican5821
      @becauseican5821 4 роки тому +2

      @Cal why are you copying this on every comment? Just make an og comment.

    • @oceanrose6626
      @oceanrose6626 4 роки тому

      Must be hard

    • @bernainmolina7481
      @bernainmolina7481 4 роки тому

      Yea but it's TRUE those poptarts really suck and have poor health quality

    • @Toby-vm5gq
      @Toby-vm5gq 4 роки тому

      ft. hiding poptarts from ethan's allergy

  • @Firestar4041
    @Firestar4041 3 роки тому +690

    "Ate 16,000 calories worth of poptarts..."
    Alex: " . . . " **loads burpie gun, with malicious intent**

  • @pileosalt8227
    @pileosalt8227 4 роки тому +38606

    I can’t tell if Unus Annus has really taken a toll on Mark’s sanity or if it’s just Mark

  • @dogemcdogeface7901
    @dogemcdogeface7901 4 роки тому +8921

    “There’s nothing wrong eating this much poptarts right?”
    Hospital : yeah, about that..

    • @disgustingjr3070
      @disgustingjr3070 4 роки тому +31

      yeaaaaah

    • @lunariousmoon
      @lunariousmoon 4 роки тому +20

      This joke came in to very well

    • @mrgrimm335
      @mrgrimm335 4 роки тому +12

      Was thinking the same thing XD

    • @thirestdog9616
      @thirestdog9616 4 роки тому +29

      ya know, this is probably why u stop eating them when u see its expired and not just fuck it

    • @NinjaLoveDomo24
      @NinjaLoveDomo24 4 роки тому

      @Jayden Paulk same

  • @androgynous_artist
    @androgynous_artist 4 роки тому +1004

    Jesus Christ someone just give this man a brand deal please for his own sanity

    • @omni8568
      @omni8568 4 роки тому +11

      @Aaviskar Parasor I’ve been on the decline since I was 7 😂😂😂

    • @theunspeakablecraft1446
      @theunspeakablecraft1446 4 роки тому +2

      Yes

    • @Fckwitt
      @Fckwitt 4 роки тому

      I wish I could

    • @chunta957
      @chunta957 4 роки тому +1

      No, we need to see how far we can get.

    • @JoeEmber776
      @JoeEmber776 4 роки тому +1

      if he gets a brand deal he'll just find something else to lose his sanity over...

  • @noelledenisematias8400
    @noelledenisematias8400 2 роки тому +536

    Mark's face when he notices that Amy arrived was priceless 😂

  • @pastelrainbowsd5574
    @pastelrainbowsd5574 4 роки тому +3553

    Mark: “I feel ...... bad...like physically”
    Marks guts: you have no idea

  • @iamdreadbread2983
    @iamdreadbread2983 4 роки тому +4494

    Markiplier's whole channel is just him slowly but surely slipping into insanity.

    • @hmmuhh330
      @hmmuhh330 4 роки тому +155

      Now that Unus Annus is gone, he has nowhere else to hide his insanity...

    • @bluevenus9803
      @bluevenus9803 4 роки тому +23

      You’re saying he hasn’t already? How many more steps do we have until he gets there?

    • @Cornoriian
      @Cornoriian 4 роки тому +19

      I feel like it started with "getting over it". It has been accelerating exponentially since then...

    • @dr.horror9046
      @dr.horror9046 4 роки тому +2

      I thought that was unus anus

    • @zedto8139
      @zedto8139 4 роки тому +4

      they shouldn't have deleted [deleted channel]

  • @karleeeriksen5528
    @karleeeriksen5528 4 роки тому +4547

    Alternate title: “Mark Hiding His Sins From Amy & Alex’s Holy Peepers”

    • @shanedaley6236
      @shanedaley6236 4 роки тому +48

      Why did he hide it from her lol it was fun to watch at the end when she came home and he trys to hide it she pretty much found out

    • @Cricket-ud7vx
      @Cricket-ud7vx 4 роки тому +40

      Oh my gods, bro that was my birthday video

    • @norat3691
      @norat3691 4 роки тому +33

      "I know this is for a bit but how long will this stay up?"

    • @jetfrancis8345
      @jetfrancis8345 4 роки тому +19

      don’t do this to me🥺🥺😂

    • @dbone3356
      @dbone3356 4 роки тому +26

      The title of the video with the white long sleeve shirt and black and white background... He (and/or Lixian) knew what he (they) was (were) doing...

  • @rylangrimes1239
    @rylangrimes1239 3 роки тому +227

    The “DING” while ejecting the pop tarts out of the toaster before they were finished freaking sent me 😂

  • @RageCannon-tf3ob
    @RageCannon-tf3ob 4 роки тому +9488

    Mark's channel now is just a documentary of a man slowly growing more insane every day. And I love it.

    • @zendakon8299
      @zendakon8299 4 роки тому +138

      And ballsy. He wants a sponsorship from everyone it seems

    • @andreabarkala4131
      @andreabarkala4131 4 роки тому +83

      @@zendakon8299 and he deserves it

    • @gmork1090
      @gmork1090 4 роки тому +45

      @@andreabarkala4131 I want to be my usual cynical self, right? But he does. He really does.

    • @boops9668
      @boops9668 4 роки тому +29

      I thought that was unus annus

    • @janieussery7172
      @janieussery7172 4 роки тому +7

      I’m here for it.

  • @SquidLordXD
    @SquidLordXD 4 роки тому +4455

    Mark: Amy will kill me
    Amy: **Walks in the house**
    Mark: **Mental breakdown**

    • @gadlygamer
      @gadlygamer 4 роки тому +25

      dont you mean a mental
      BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN

    • @chikebchikeb1813
      @chikebchikeb1813 4 роки тому +14

      comment: "999" likes
      me: I AM GOD "taps"
      comment: "1000"

    • @jkublive
      @jkublive 4 роки тому +3

      @@gadlygamer I think I’m the only one who caught that lmao

    • @sexypanda1349
      @sexypanda1349 4 роки тому +4

      @@jkublive its the part 4 diamond is unbreakable Jojo's Bizzare Adventure intro. MF jojo's reference bro.

    • @cwootwoot9025
      @cwootwoot9025 4 роки тому +1

      @@gadlygamer is that A JOJO REFERENCE!?

  • @tjtiffles
    @tjtiffles 3 роки тому +10201

    Mark trying to cancel all the food companies that won’t sponsor him is actually the best

    • @nevaeh9125
      @nevaeh9125 3 роки тому +293

      He's like the opposite of a food review channel cuz he shits on the companies and their products..
      But then he actually gives a serious review on the product at the same time

    • @jordanogplayer5247
      @jordanogplayer5247 3 роки тому +25

      @@nevaeh9125 Ik 😭

    • @nevaeh9125
      @nevaeh9125 3 роки тому +11

      @Morec no, 'cancel' was the correct way

    • @Bit_Froggr
      @Bit_Froggr 3 роки тому +17

      Mark has to be sponsored by sustenance just in general.

    • @GamingWithHajimemes
      @GamingWithHajimemes 3 роки тому +14

      If he trips on concrete he could sue the world... AND WIN-

  • @mavisrose1404
    @mavisrose1404 3 роки тому +204

    Mark is like a dissapointed mother and an energetic dramatic father. But that's one of the best things about him.

  • @aspin_
    @aspin_ 4 роки тому +660

    The "Don't Tell Amy" bit has followed us from Unus Annus to Mark's Channel. It shall never die

    • @coinisinorbit
      @coinisinorbit 4 роки тому

      @@akworld2.o451 no he didn't

    • @coinisinorbit
      @coinisinorbit 4 роки тому

      @@akworld2.o451 I ain't even look but I already know with how many views your getting

    • @user-cb3yn6wq2s
      @user-cb3yn6wq2s 4 роки тому +5

      He was also wearing his unus annus socks

  • @ONE-vt1fz
    @ONE-vt1fz 4 роки тому +5411

    “This was a confession-“
    Skips ahead
    “UNFROZTED BLUEBERRY POPTARTS”

  • @Itoldajokeonce
    @Itoldajokeonce 4 роки тому +3302

    Markiplier: “I will be sane again.”
    Everyone: “Again?”

    • @SwindlerJeff
      @SwindlerJeff 4 роки тому +20

      Again.

    • @bludbanka
      @bludbanka 4 роки тому +13

      Yep again

    • @abandonedacc420
      @abandonedacc420 4 роки тому +37

      since when is mark sane?? did i miss out on something?-

    • @zillasaiyan1m274
      @zillasaiyan1m274 4 роки тому +15

      I think he is sain for a bit after he finally finishes a super hard game like getting over it but then his sanity goes away not long after

    • @MindOfGenius
      @MindOfGenius 4 роки тому +8

      Markiplier: "I will be sane again."
      Also Mark: 22:49

  • @connormurphy6393
    @connormurphy6393 2 роки тому +280

    As someone who works over night at a grocery store to stock shelves, these boxes the ones we order to stock with lol
    Also! The box at 5:00 is likely taped cause the top popped open before they packaged it into the larger box to ship. It happens sometimes cause the poptart boxes are flimsy, we get taped ones every now and then too lmao

    • @troublemonkey1_626
      @troublemonkey1_626 8 місяців тому +5

      Can confirm these look exactly like the cases we got for pop tarts in grocery stores

  • @2solidben
    @2solidben 4 роки тому +1639

    Mark: “I have a very deep Secret”
    Me: what.
    Mark: pop tarts

    • @sebastianvalmes6797
      @sebastianvalmes6797 4 роки тому +11

      😱😱😱🤫🤫🤫🤭🤭🤭
      Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaattt?!?!?
      Crazy, insane, horrible, unholy, Mark how come you never told us of your great sin against humanity, wow, awful, stinky brain.

    • @anotherkilluasimp1993
      @anotherkilluasimp1993 4 роки тому +8

      @@sebastianvalmes6797 laughing👏my👏fucking👏ass👏off

    • @perhapsdie6458
      @perhapsdie6458 4 роки тому

      A

    • @cloudy1860
      @cloudy1860 4 роки тому +3

      Ok So I Thought He was gonna say I Secretly had the sponsor of Los clamdo the whole time

    • @leweirdo1220
      @leweirdo1220 4 роки тому +1

      I tHoUgHt He WaS gOnNa FiNaLlY aDmIt He'S a MaSoChIsT lOl

  • @sweetyum46
    @sweetyum46 4 роки тому +1772

    My husband: "you're too old to watch Markiplier"
    Me: "Not if he keeps making spicy content like reviewing poptarts I'm not. The voice of our generation."

    • @pixiebrat3278
      @pixiebrat3278 4 роки тому +8

      Sister!!!!!

    • @sams575
      @sams575 4 роки тому +10

      Tell em!!

    • @kevo5133
      @kevo5133 4 роки тому +30

      What does he think this is, a cartoon? This is *art*

    • @fartmaster00
      @fartmaster00 4 роки тому +3

      LMAO YES

    • @teslacoil5378
      @teslacoil5378 4 роки тому +27

      Too old?!?! Nobody's too old to be watching Markiplier.

  • @Snorlax151
    @Snorlax151 4 роки тому +3437

    Mark and Ethan: *deletes Unus Annus*
    Ethan: *takes the aftermath well*
    Mark: *stress eats poptarts*

    • @taylorjensen3558
      @taylorjensen3558 4 роки тому

      Accurate lol

    • @brookiemocookie2216
      @brookiemocookie2216 4 роки тому +1

      @MASLIN BRUNER wow dark

    • @creamsupreme8630
      @creamsupreme8630 4 роки тому

      @-MøønlightSun- Unus* and Memento*

    • @blues_sandwich4303
      @blues_sandwich4303 4 роки тому +1

      @-MøønlightSun- my parents and me any time I mention unus Annus: them “and that’s done now?” Me “yup” them “can we even talk about it now” me *explains the whole idea of unus annus again* them “you know quite a bit about this”

    • @Lil_Lunar69
      @Lil_Lunar69 4 роки тому

      Welll future me says other way around

  • @_lil_lil
    @_lil_lil 2 роки тому +125

    "And that's what breakfast has been for most of the world-- well, at least America" might be the most American thing Mark's ever said.

  • @DetectiveMekova
    @DetectiveMekova 3 роки тому +5036

    The quality of Mark's content is 65% Mark being uncontainable and 35% his editor being even more uncontainable.

    • @evictedpelican497
      @evictedpelican497 3 роки тому +125

      bloopers include alex stabbing mark with a knife doing burpees with burpees engraved on it while having mark do burpees on top of a clone of him doing burpees

    • @eemeli7093
      @eemeli7093 2 роки тому +2

      @@evictedpelican497 epic

    • @mintson8810
      @mintson8810 2 роки тому +2

      Sorry for being late to comment

    • @ethansariya
      @ethansariya 2 роки тому +1

      @@mintson8810 what

  • @juliadarling8868
    @juliadarling8868 4 роки тому +5082

    Something tells me this is why he's in the hospital right now.

    • @nox7638
      @nox7638 4 роки тому +31

      same

    • @cinthiaalbers4076
      @cinthiaalbers4076 4 роки тому +15

      He is acetally

    • @mirroughs7729
      @mirroughs7729 4 роки тому +120

      I mean that many pop-tarts would be a trip to the ivory throne, and the fact that they're expired is worse.

    • @bloodangel7305
      @bloodangel7305 4 роки тому +7

      Probably

    • @natetv1494
      @natetv1494 4 роки тому +3

      😂imagine that

  • @jonathansaloman1595
    @jonathansaloman1595 4 роки тому +2852

    The fact that Mark literally complained about Pop Tarts for over 30 minutes makes me wonder how much the Unus Annus aftermath has taken a toll on him...

    • @jube8835
      @jube8835 4 роки тому +19

      The amount of bots here is insane

    • @kelsie_wilson11
      @kelsie_wilson11 4 роки тому +2

      @Jube IKR LOL

    • @CopperDragonGamr
      @CopperDragonGamr 4 роки тому +2

      @F Ù C Ķ • М E ! ! ! • I WĀNT ŞEX • OPÉN MY ĆANÁL ! I opened the replies and just see your username I couldn't stop laughing for the next 3 minutes 😂

    • @alnimri
      @alnimri 4 роки тому +12

      Not sure if it's just me, but Mark wears white mainly in his videos and Ethan wears Black. Its like second nature for them at this point. A little concerning how it probably affected their psychology.

    • @nicolemaylining
      @nicolemaylining 4 роки тому

      @Cal bro stop imagine tricking people for views lmao

  • @PanromanticDragon
    @PanromanticDragon 3 роки тому +63

    Just...Marks face as he said “Alex...I think I know why the diet hasn’t been doin as good as it coulda been” is...peak reaction image

  • @wminster
    @wminster 4 роки тому +3415

    You can take Markiplier out of Unus Annus, but you can't take Unus Annus out of Markiplier.

  • @irustyrobot529
    @irustyrobot529 4 роки тому +9254

    me realizing Mark's filming by himself: "...Oh god he's unsupervised"

    • @zombieunicorns2567
      @zombieunicorns2567 4 роки тому +65

      @I Am KevinBB x2 you've done this on multiple comments it's getting annoying.

    • @DiegoGonzalez-oe5tz
      @DiegoGonzalez-oe5tz 4 роки тому +7

      @I Am KevinBB x2 ok

    • @MalemetaAnimations
      @MalemetaAnimations 4 роки тому +105

      When Mark is unsupervised the world weeps

    • @Mikiluvsu
      @Mikiluvsu 4 роки тому +7

      💀💀💀

    • @mr21guy9
      @mr21guy9 4 роки тому +8

      @I Am KevinBB x2 just stop it was never funny and I never will be

  • @NoiseDay
    @NoiseDay 4 роки тому +3229

    "Don't tell Amy"
    Amy: lives here and has known about everything the whole time

    • @magicaldontpostmuch3256
      @magicaldontpostmuch3256 4 роки тому +24

      And probably helped the editor

    • @Beanpolr
      @Beanpolr 4 роки тому +18

      @Unus Annus Back, horrific demon!

    • @slackolantern
      @slackolantern 4 роки тому +22

      @F Ù Ć Ķ • М È ! ! ! • I WĄNT ŞĘX • OPÉN MY CANÁL ! You're not Rita! Where's our old Unus Annus Spam bot? You're just as bad as the guy pretending to be Unus Annus! Are you going to reupload all her nonsensical emoticons?

    • @Cipher_Paul
      @Cipher_Paul 4 роки тому +2

      What?! Do Amy and Mark and Henry and Chica really live together?
      But I thought Mark lived with Ethan!
      They even made Chica her own dog house, so why would she be living with Amy?

    • @moon-ww6qt
      @moon-ww6qt 4 роки тому +4

      @@Cipher_Paul all i know is mark and amy love together because im pretty sure they're dating(?) and ethan lives with his girlfriend as well

  • @jellyray3395
    @jellyray3395 2 роки тому +67

    26:15
    As Mark saw the pop tart god, he had The look of pure terror as he gazes into the lifeless strawberry jam eyes and at his chocolate crusted armor. The god beckoned Mark to follow, and yet, Mark just watched in agony as the tart consumes him whole. Then. The god said.
    "Keep eating."

  • @vaporizedstar
    @vaporizedstar 4 роки тому +564

    Ever since the death of Unus Annus, Mark has descended further into madness.

  • @taylorowen9833
    @taylorowen9833 4 роки тому +481

    Poor Amy. One day she's going to walk in and see mark crying in the corner covered in breakfast cereals, packages strewn about the room and the words "Crunchetize me" written in various bits of cereal on the floor.

    • @zapthewarrior7577
      @zapthewarrior7577 4 роки тому +4

      you talking about mark eating pop tarts, or a man who went insane with captain crunch?

    • @Timmothy_plays
      @Timmothy_plays 4 роки тому +8

      And she wouldn't even be phased by it.

    • @luvbug_m
      @luvbug_m 4 роки тому +6

      this definitely shouldn’t have made me laugh as much as i did

    • @taylorowen9833
      @taylorowen9833 4 роки тому +1

      @@zapthewarrior7577 I'm calling it. Mark's going to wind up with 50 lbs of cereal for his next review. Captain Crunch, Cinnamon Toast Crunch, an obligatory thing about Jack with Lucky Charms. It's going to culminate in him taking a "cereal bath" like his mashed potatoes bath and his hot chocolate bath. Actually, I'm surprised he hasn't made himself into a bowl of cereal yet with all the weird bath based things he's done.

    • @zapthewarrior7577
      @zapthewarrior7577 4 роки тому

      @@taylorowen9833 ok, a mashed potato bath, is just actually disgusting In my opinion

  • @lognott
    @lognott 4 роки тому +622

    "I couldn't do this because Ethan was coming over... But now he's not soooo...." Dang, that feels bad in the heart.

  • @blackgetsugauser
    @blackgetsugauser 3 роки тому +64

    "It's dry, bland, digusting. " Mark has become Gordon Ramsay XD

  • @blueoffline2667
    @blueoffline2667 4 роки тому +1888

    Mark: Has a really healthy lifestyle, works out often, does Keto diet
    Also Mark: „I ate 16 000 calories worth of poptarts. "

    • @manbabymonke
      @manbabymonke 4 роки тому +23

      That have expired

    • @roeisimcha188
      @roeisimcha188 4 роки тому +13

      He also has 5 ovens

    • @leorewinski7768
      @leorewinski7768 4 роки тому +10

      Keto isn't healthy....

    • @DJB3lfry
      @DJB3lfry 4 роки тому +5

      @@roeisimcha188 He no longer has 5 ovens, sadly :(

    • @blueoffline2667
      @blueoffline2667 4 роки тому

      @Jon Finn It was there the whole video, it just grew stronger as he admited to his sins out loud

  • @tinah5466
    @tinah5466 4 роки тому +2737

    Mark: *Confesses that he lied about following his diet*
    Alex: *Sees this video*
    And that was the last time we saw Mark

    • @JustSippingTea
      @JustSippingTea 4 роки тому +87

      Bro these are all prerecorded its all a matter of time till the police catch on because he was murdered...
      By burppes

    • @magicaldontpostmuch3256
      @magicaldontpostmuch3256 4 роки тому +8

      @@JustSippingTea oh no

    • @anggaadandiputra8450
      @anggaadandiputra8450 4 роки тому +15

      @@JustSippingTea oh no not the burppes. Anything but the burppes

    • @stormynight4856
      @stormynight4856 4 роки тому +1

      @F Ù Ć Ķ • М È ! ! ! • I WĄNT ŞĘX • OPÉN MY CANÁL ! the heck?

    • @pzzec7042
      @pzzec7042 4 роки тому +1

      already 656 likes- now 657 ;) but fr oh no-

  • @antiquessouls5267
    @antiquessouls5267 4 роки тому +2072

    Can we take a moment to appreciate how instead of being a jerk like every other big UA-cam and having to make a confession to being racist, mark has to only make a confession to eating several boxes of pop tarts in the spam of 6 months- this is why I have been a long time fan.
    Why the hell does my comment have 1.3k likes-

    • @hannahjane6787
      @hannahjane6787 4 роки тому +26

      facts. I love him to death

    • @antiquessouls5267
      @antiquessouls5267 4 роки тому +23

      @@hannahjane6787 yeah, he has never had a single scandal

    • @Jaidea
      @Jaidea 4 роки тому +39

      I thought you said "Mark actually confessed to being racist" AND I GOT SO SCARED OMFG

    • @benkayvfalsifier3817
      @benkayvfalsifier3817 4 роки тому +12

      Can we take a moment to realize that Mark unintentionally gave his audience the middle finger at 19:55.

    • @antiquessouls5267
      @antiquessouls5267 4 роки тому +10

      @@benkayvfalsifier3817 it was a joke :)

  • @sadgecat588
    @sadgecat588 2 роки тому +63

    I'm coming back after not watching him for years and he's actually so much more hilarious wtf

    • @RuneCl4w
      @RuneCl4w 2 роки тому +8

      And guess what, these pop tarts put him in the hospital the very next day LMAO, he aight though

  • @goodguybjorn
    @goodguybjorn 4 роки тому +1128

    "OH these are expired! Its fine, it's whatever."
    fast forward a couple days
    "so I'm in the hospital, i have a blockage in my intestines"

  • @cemeek89
    @cemeek89 4 роки тому +1403

    Markiplier: the man who won’t eat pop tarts out of the packaging, but WILL eat corn and green beans out of the can...

  • @KuroHebi
    @KuroHebi 4 роки тому +2871

    Pop Tarts: Are expired.
    Mark: "Cool, I don't care.".
    You will regret this decision in a few days...

  • @johnandrewdivina1435
    @johnandrewdivina1435 2 роки тому +65

    Legend says mark is still not done eating all of his pop tarts

  • @shipchaseplays6988
    @shipchaseplays6988 4 роки тому +812

    Meanwhile Mark in an alternate universe: "I AM A MAN. WITH 5 TOASTERS"

  • @Pxdro1103
    @Pxdro1103 4 роки тому +974

    Mark: "Poptarts suck. Why would you eat pop tarts?"
    Also Mark:"Sponsor me"

  • @nonamegiven202
    @nonamegiven202 4 роки тому +878

    Mark really just trying to vent out the leftover Unus Annus ideals.

  • @markjrcolin1210
    @markjrcolin1210 2 роки тому +41

    I exclusively eat pop tarts at room temperature without heating them at all, so I might be some kind of demon possessed man-child.

    • @babypower14
      @babypower14 16 днів тому

      depends on the flavor of pop tart for me most fruit one sun toasted but any with mash mellow or chocolate gots to be toasted

  • @elizabethsomehow4813
    @elizabethsomehow4813 4 роки тому +1986

    Mark: breaking his diet now and then
    Alex: listen here you little..

    • @DigitalCat01
      @DigitalCat01 4 роки тому +10

      I mean, it is healthy to have off days when going on a diet.

    • @elizabethsomehow4813
      @elizabethsomehow4813 4 роки тому +20

      @@DigitalCat01 I totally agree but it better be not this kind of food or at least not this much, even Mark said that the pop tarts is mostly just sugar

    • @DigitalCat01
      @DigitalCat01 4 роки тому +8

      @@elizabethsomehow4813 my mom cheats on her diet with a peppermint shake from Chick-fil-A XD but she normally gets a small. She only gets 1 large every year

    • @RED-BLOXXER
      @RED-BLOXXER 4 роки тому +3

      600th Like Your welcome

    • @juggawest
      @juggawest 4 роки тому +6

      Today's video I'm in the hospital AGAIN should have had more HOT coffee cocoa or tea.

  • @donnyboi7033
    @donnyboi7033 4 роки тому +1880

    Alex: "I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed. Now do 1,000 burpees!"

    • @vulgarqueefing
      @vulgarqueefing 4 роки тому +6

      @I Am KevinBB 😐

    • @dad5draco
      @dad5draco 4 роки тому +3

      Lol, what a great trainer.

    • @Aelithh
      @Aelithh 4 роки тому +1

      420 likes XD

    • @Isaia2008
      @Isaia2008 4 роки тому +1

      @I Am KevinBB bruh

    • @tiad7143
      @tiad7143 4 роки тому +1

      @I Am KevinBB chill

  • @cpt_azure5828
    @cpt_azure5828 4 роки тому +1010

    Mark : "if you eat pop tarts cold...what's wrong with you?"
    Me who eats them cold: *slowly put in half eaten pop tart in toaster*

    • @shadowthewolf5443
      @shadowthewolf5443 4 роки тому +12

      Lol i eat mine like that

    • @winged_cat_4571
      @winged_cat_4571 4 роки тому +3

      I eat them cold to

    • @Kennisaurus
      @Kennisaurus 4 роки тому +12

      Tbh there is something wrong with you if you eat them cold. I say that as someone who eats them cold.

    • @DragoonsCrackedOutAccount
      @DragoonsCrackedOutAccount 4 роки тому +3

      Freezing them is kinda good, but they are a lot better hot or uncooked at room temperature

    • @josiahgarcia9228
      @josiahgarcia9228 4 роки тому +1

      Lol

  • @sankookwon
    @sankookwon 2 роки тому +20

    Mark : judges people on the way they eat poptarts
    Also Mark : savagely sucks the flavoring from takis and spits out the carcass

  • @jbarron6747
    @jbarron6747 4 роки тому +3609

    Mark: It’s a good thing Amy’s not here...
    Amy: *distorted audio feedback demon noises*

  • @maddie1525
    @maddie1525 4 роки тому +2004

    mark and alex talking about why marks diet doesn’t work
    alex: “i guess we’ll never know”
    mark: “... i know”

    • @microrave3333
      @microrave3333 4 роки тому +6

      @Cal no one cares bot

    • @DefyantFrost
      @DefyantFrost 4 роки тому +2

      @@microrave3333 Your just jealous of him.

    • @DefyantFrost
      @DefyantFrost 4 роки тому +2

      @Cal good for you

    • @TheUsualGuy-rj8pj
      @TheUsualGuy-rj8pj 4 роки тому +9

      @@DefyantFrost "Cal" has been posting this on a bunch of comments, it does seem like a bot.

    • @smithsmitherson221
      @smithsmitherson221 4 роки тому +6

      Cal is indeed a bot.

  • @Duck-dx4tn
    @Duck-dx4tn 4 роки тому +2809

    Alternative title: *Markiplier’s descent into madness after failing to cope with the grief and loss of unus annus*

  • @bradyparisien3533
    @bradyparisien3533 2 роки тому +66

    Those pop tart boxes are literally the ones we get at the store I work at! You literally bought the stuff for stores!

    • @jasonalcatraz5817
      @jasonalcatraz5817 2 роки тому +11

      Correction: Evan bought the stuff for stores. Much to Mark's dismay XD

  • @albinospino3089
    @albinospino3089 4 роки тому +1925

    Mark: *Goes through an entire rant about how poptarts aren't food*
    Also Mark: _wHAt A wAsTe oF FoOd_

    • @stabfenn2960
      @stabfenn2960 4 роки тому +18

      7:01 *das sum gud shit tho..*

    • @Saternalia
      @Saternalia 4 роки тому +10

      Also also mark: I ate 84 of these of my own volition separate from this video

    • @davissoria5126
      @davissoria5126 4 роки тому +4

      DaM what a waste of not food

    • @shadydaemon4178
      @shadydaemon4178 4 роки тому

      Yep.

    • @chibi3575
      @chibi3575 4 роки тому

      I read this as he said it XD

  • @mags8790
    @mags8790 4 роки тому +803

    Mark: "I feel bad..."
    *4 days later Mark is in the hospital*
    Mark: " I don't know what could have possibly caused this..."

  • @jairuskarla.bertolfo8868
    @jairuskarla.bertolfo8868 4 роки тому +1946

    Mark: shut up everybody everything's gonna be ok
    3-4 days later: Hospital*

    • @xorth1697
      @xorth1697 4 роки тому +12

      I WAS ABOUT TO COMMENT THIS

    • @hippiestoner3411
      @hippiestoner3411 4 роки тому +33

      Even better - intestinal blockage...

    • @madeofwood3328
      @madeofwood3328 4 роки тому +20

      POPtarts almost killed him... His only secret that was going to kill em, now hes dying

    • @Dad-sp6lj
      @Dad-sp6lj 4 роки тому +4

      Tbis made me laugh so hard

    • @danettewright7702
      @danettewright7702 4 роки тому +3

      Im your 999th like

  • @brooksproductionsstudios3389
    @brooksproductionsstudios3389 2 роки тому +5

    *"They are the same different, but they're different..."*
    -Mark Edward Fishbach

  • @CAFFEINENRAG3
    @CAFFEINENRAG3 4 роки тому +828

    Alternative title: Mark having an existential crisis over pop tarts for 30 minutes

    • @bangerz5871
      @bangerz5871 4 роки тому

      You’re right and I hate it

    • @_.txlie._
      @_.txlie._ 4 роки тому +7

      I was worried when I pressed the vid and now I'm more concerned

    • @sophiachacon2957
      @sophiachacon2957 4 роки тому +2

      @@_.txlie._ I laughed way harder at this than I should have lmao

    • @tjharts
      @tjharts 4 роки тому

      @@sophiachacon2957 same

  • @daffadell5153
    @daffadell5153 4 роки тому +755

    I'm 100% certain Markiplier is having a mental breakdown over these poptarts right now

  • @NathanTheMan
    @NathanTheMan 4 роки тому +1853

    “I just trusted Evan”
    Evan: P E E S A U N A

  • @maxwilson7001
    @maxwilson7001 2 роки тому +30

    I want to see the rest of Amy’s reaction to all this

  • @Suskungale
    @Suskungale 4 роки тому +837

    Mark: i have a confession
    Everyone: :'(
    Mark: P O P T A R T S

  • @stidzy0
    @stidzy0 3 роки тому +4138

    The look of complete and utter terror on Mark's face when he hears Amy's car is hilarious

    • @AngelWingsYT
      @AngelWingsYT 2 роки тому +185

      amy yelling at him in the bg sounds like a mom yelling at their child to not do anything stupid

    • @magic_club250
      @magic_club250 2 роки тому +9

      When is that?

    • @randommusicstuff6029
      @randommusicstuff6029 2 роки тому +26

      @@magic_club250 around 26:12

    • @stidzy0
      @stidzy0 2 роки тому +8

      @@magic_club250 26:14

    • @Skootanimates
      @Skootanimates 2 роки тому +22

      @@AngelWingsYT he is the child lol

  • @possiblepsychopath6459
    @possiblepsychopath6459 4 роки тому +3877

    markiplier: **shows poptarts**
    me: dear god...
    markiplier: this is not a joke
    me: no....

  • @chezzybloss1283
    @chezzybloss1283 2 роки тому +12

    Mark: "I WILL BE SANE AGAIN!!!!"
    Us: "Mark, you never were sane to start with.. but that's why we love ya"

  • @gcfalconi
    @gcfalconi 4 роки тому +842

    mark: passive-agressively insults the void
    is he having unus annus withdrawal

  • @shadic1988
    @shadic1988 4 роки тому +500

    Mark: The Man of 6 Keyboards
    Also Mark: The Man of 5 Ovens
    Also Also Mark: The Man of 84 Pop Tarts.

    • @lesliesmith6718
      @lesliesmith6718 4 роки тому +3

      6 Keyboards?

    • @shadic1988
      @shadic1988 4 роки тому

      @@lesliesmith6718 Watch Drunk Minecraft Part 18. That video had Marking coming out with 5 backup keyboards

  • @hal6562
    @hal6562 4 роки тому +795

    "Alex's gonna so mad when he sees this."
    Has the same feel as:
    "Dad's gonna be really mad when he gets home."

    • @amaravega838
      @amaravega838 4 роки тому

      @I Am KevinBB x2 no

    • @melo0611
      @melo0611 4 роки тому +1

      @I Am KevinBB x2 HATful

    • @rockyxbautista
      @rockyxbautista 4 роки тому +5

      has the same feel as:
      “DONT TELL AMY”

    • @luluthefox9527
      @luluthefox9527 4 роки тому

      @@amaravega838 I reported his comments and his channel for unwanted spam

    • @amaravega838
      @amaravega838 4 роки тому

      @@luluthefox9527 I do the same whenever I see them. I don't think it works this :/ I still see that axxl dude with his two girlfriends beg for subs everywhere lol

  • @FilbieTron
    @FilbieTron 2 роки тому +22

    This reminds me that my family used to get the off brand unfrosted “pop tarts” and they were the absolute worst.

  • @cecilyerker
    @cecilyerker 4 роки тому +8912

    Post Unus Annus Mark doesn’t seem like he’s entirely okay.

  • @eliannam.5700
    @eliannam.5700 4 роки тому +451

    watching a man eating a huge amount of pop tarts is the most western thing I've done

    • @simon.i3119
      @simon.i3119 4 роки тому +5

      Have you seen Unus Annus

    • @Prismatic_Pixie
      @Prismatic_Pixie 4 роки тому +2

      Have you never watched ProZD?

    • @AznPrzsn
      @AznPrzsn 4 роки тому +1

      Well.... could I convince you to watch me eat a ton of Ramen since I'm Asian then you could have an Eastern experience too?

    • @elianaobjects2566
      @elianaobjects2566 4 роки тому +1

      Ayyyee almost name buddy

  • @flerphaderp7259
    @flerphaderp7259 4 роки тому +1422

    *His personal trainer in his video response:* “I’m not mad... Just very, very, very disappointed. You could have told me.”
    OOF 😬

    • @NukelearFallout
      @NukelearFallout 4 роки тому +10

      He's like Mark's dad; especially with the way Mark looks up to, and marvels at him.

    • @aliafreya524
      @aliafreya524 4 роки тому

      @@adapperwalrus1662 on youtube?

    • @aliafreya524
      @aliafreya524 4 роки тому

      @@adapperwalrus1662 oh alright ty

    • @abreathingcoffin8089
      @abreathingcoffin8089 4 роки тому

      That made my toes curl

    • @erikaz1590
      @erikaz1590 4 роки тому +2

      you're missing about 10 more 'very''s

  • @rexitally4323
    @rexitally4323 Рік тому +8

    Mark after he eats a completely normal amount of pop-tarts in 6 months: “ALL ABOARD… the toxic gossip train”

  • @SatisfiedShark
    @SatisfiedShark 4 роки тому +766

    Mark: Amy can’t know
    Amy: Couldn’t care less

    • @BigE216
      @BigE216 4 роки тому +6

      But the fact he made up a lie 😂 and he face when the door open 😂

  • @zackhirschinger8023
    @zackhirschinger8023 4 роки тому +1575

    Mark: trusts Evan
    Evan: I’m about to end this man’s whole diet.

  • @psycosanches589
    @psycosanches589 4 роки тому +817

    "Awful, terrible, garbage, hate it, bad."
    "Oh these are expired..."
    And the mystery solves itself.

    • @hellhander
      @hellhander 4 роки тому +13

      I was surprised to hear that they actually could expire.

    • @baydiac
      @baydiac 4 роки тому +4

      Bold of you to assume they'd taste good fresh too.
      -A message from the "the only poptarts I like to eat are the publix generic brand without frosting, because I actually dislike sweets" gang.
      _cough._ I uh. I'm not a biased source inappropriate for this discussion. Totally.

    • @melisadeopal2478
      @melisadeopal2478 4 роки тому +2

      They use to be moist with decent amount of fillings. Use too. Now they are just garbage.

    • @psycosanches589
      @psycosanches589 4 роки тому

      @Matthew Xu Jesus christ 666 likes in like 30 minutes, fucking hell...

    • @psycosanches589
      @psycosanches589 4 роки тому

      THIS COMMENT IS NOT EVEN GOOD, STOP LIKING IT, GOD DAMN YOU ALL!

  • @ebonbaum8632
    @ebonbaum8632 3 роки тому +23

    The genuine disappointment on his face when he realizes what he did to himself by eating 84 pop tarts during his diet 🤣

  • @Nvaehlo
    @Nvaehlo 4 роки тому +385

    "I have a confession to make."
    I am worried.
    ×Lixian appears in the corner×
    I am no longer worried.
    ×sees boxes upon boxes of poptarts as Mark begins to ramble like a madman×
    I am extremely worried-

  • @47ratsinahoodie
    @47ratsinahoodie 4 роки тому +1434

    Alternate Title: Markiplier Desperately Wanting A Sponsorship Pt. 4

    • @vincentfrick6880
      @vincentfrick6880 4 роки тому +16

      Lol I know that it's a joke but I'm pretty sure that he has no shortage of potential sponsors.
      One of my favorite sponsors was getting paid to play Pogo stuck.

    • @AngelWingsYT
      @AngelWingsYT 4 роки тому +4

      @@vincentfrick6880 he wants one that WONT make him suffer XD

    • @marym4229
      @marym4229 4 роки тому +5

      @@AngelWingsYT Nah he's a masochist. He can handle it.

    • @yomommaisahoe4396
      @yomommaisahoe4396 4 роки тому +4

      10:46 now that.... Will get him a sponsorship

    • @47ratsinahoodie
      @47ratsinahoodie 4 роки тому

      @Greek Goddess He lives in LA. Being an Angelino myself, trust me. It's _always_ better to have more money. You don't know when your otherwise decent wage will suddenly not be enough for food or shelter.

  • @bruh_645
    @bruh_645 4 роки тому +1963

    Mark 4 days ago: "Alex is going to kill me"
    Mark right now: "I'm in a hospital"
    Moral of the history: Don't mess with Alex

  • @swatantriadhikary2715
    @swatantriadhikary2715 2 роки тому +58

    26:05 This shows how much Mark is scared of Amy🤣🤣🤣

    • @isakmelander5399
      @isakmelander5399 2 роки тому +1

      Does she hate poptarts or really like them??

  • @rottenlamb1080
    @rottenlamb1080 4 роки тому +844

    Ethan: working on his content being proud of himself
    Mark: -midlife sponsorship crisis-

    • @redacted1127
      @redacted1127 4 роки тому +11

      @Cal stfu I looked at your bio and all you post is this same comment

  • @olid7477
    @olid7477 4 роки тому +886

    when your fave is so unproblematic that the most problematic thing they’ve done is order $500 worth of poptarts

    • @swingandamiss5942
      @swingandamiss5942 4 роки тому +10

      wholesome events in the lives

    • @acronolozki
      @acronolozki 4 роки тому +11

      i mean seriously? the most problematic thing was when he got angry at welcome to the game but even then it wasnt like woooow problematic stuff
      500 hundred dollers on pop tarts is just typical markiplier

    • @SolKiza
      @SolKiza 4 роки тому +9

      Everyone else with random influencers: Yeah he may have been a creep but who cares
      Mark Fans: Yea he bought 500 dollars worth of poptarts

    • @kuntoye
      @kuntoye 4 роки тому +1

      I'm sorry I changed the likes from 420 to 421 😔

    • @kaihaken5200
      @kaihaken5200 4 роки тому +1

      He didn’t review maple bacon, pumpkin pie, watermelon, fruit loops flavor, mocha, and of course watermelon

  • @cazoo_kid9853
    @cazoo_kid9853 4 роки тому +2602

    Markiplier, the man who threatened 4 big company’s in a week.

    • @orangelake2268
      @orangelake2268 4 роки тому +18

      I thought it was 4

    • @cazoo_kid9853
      @cazoo_kid9853 4 роки тому +76

      @@orangelake2268 Del Monte, Green Giant, and now Kellogg’s. Did I miss one?

    • @emilybenger-boyle4496
      @emilybenger-boyle4496 4 роки тому +77

      @@cazoo_kid9853 sour patch kids

    • @cazoo_kid9853
      @cazoo_kid9853 4 роки тому +16

      @@emilybenger-boyle4496 oh right

    • @orangelake2268
      @orangelake2268 4 роки тому +37

      @@cazoo_kid9853 Look, he threatened: Del Monte, Jolly Green Giant, Sour Patch Kids and now Kellogg's

  • @IvetaMarhanova
    @IvetaMarhanova 5 місяців тому +2

    As soon as i saw the title, i was like
    Mark what could you have possibly done?!?!
    And then he confessed to eat poptarts.
    10/10 video

  • @adelaide2890
    @adelaide2890 4 роки тому +750

    Mark: *eats pop tarts*
    Alex: Ah, so I see you’ve chosen death

    • @mjwlol
      @mjwlol 4 роки тому +2

      first reply wtf

    • @hollybutler4885
      @hollybutler4885 4 роки тому

      Also Alex: Ah, so I see you've chosen _burpees_

  • @rxyal1903
    @rxyal1903 4 роки тому +2290

    Mark: Poptarts needs to sponsor me.
    Also Mark: Garbage, terrible, hate it, awful, disgusting, bad. Why?

  • @awakendreamer8841
    @awakendreamer8841 4 роки тому +860

    Mark: "I've Been Lying About My Diet"
    Alex: *"Your Free Trial Of Life Has Expired"*

    • @awakendreamer8841
      @awakendreamer8841 4 роки тому +2

      @Andrew DGamer thx, heccing autocorrect

    • @voiiddd8016
      @voiiddd8016 4 роки тому +2

      I See You Have To Start Every Word With A Capital Letter Too! Im Not Alone!

  • @AngellianaYT
    @AngellianaYT 5 місяців тому +3

    Did I really just sit through a 30 something minute video of mark eating pop tarts and trash talking them as he just admitted he was obsessed with them?
    Worth my time.