500 Days of Summer - What's The Point of a Doomed Romance? (Part 1) | Video Essay
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- Опубліковано 20 вер 2024
- In most romance films, the goal is for two characters to end up together at the end of the movie.
So what is the point of a romance movie where the relationship is doomed from the start?
In part one of our Doomed Romance series, we will be looking into 500 Days of Summer.
*** If Part 2 is blocked in your country follow this link: vimeo.com/2796... ***
Made by: Moises & Sergio Velasquez
Patreon: / screened
Original music by: Eduardo Gonzalez
/ first-romance-spontane...
/ @edgmusic
"This story is not about the one, but the one you learn from." goddamn this one cuts too close to the bone
"He was looking for the one, but instead he found someone"
THIS
That line almost brought me to tears.
It got me emotionally over a boyfriend I never even had 😭😭
💯✔💔💔💔
"Their relationships are like their trips to IKEA, they walk around the kitchen, the bedroom. The camera filming them like a couple, an intimate moment. But the kitchen is not a kitchen, the bedroom is not a bedroom. It's all an estaticly pleasing mock-up of an ideal of what he wants. A relationship." 😭
this is fax
He found himself, and she found love. Something they were both missing before they met eachother. Sometimes people come into your life as a lesson.
your comment is amazing
yeah, they both had character development
He found out that there's no such thing as love..only relationship. And she found a richer guy that she wants to be married with..
Its an equivalent exchange I guess
Summer used him, he grew up to be a better person.
"He was looking for the one but, instead, he found someone." Wow got tears in my eyes.
What does that line mean? I tried to find my own answers but i just can't get it right .
KarasunoCrows i think it's like "he tried to find the one" like the one and only meant for him, the perfect person for him (like usually when girls that live too much in fairly tails look for the one and only prince charming from the fairy tail that is the one for them) and in that process he actually found "someone" like someone ordinary, someone normal just like how he is normal. Like instead of trying to find someone perfect and following his unresonable standards he found someone ordinary who isn't perfect but is good to him.
@@asobimo5532 thank you. That makes sense ✌💕
@@asobimo5532 well said
Yep
This is the first time I’ve seen someone focus on the message of this movie and not the “manic pixie dream girl” aspect. Very good work!
Thank you very much 👍
Also quick side note, what I always found weird about those types of analysis was that to me it seemed Tom was the manic pixie dream boy, quirky guy who loves random bands, works for a cute card company, draws pictures on people's arms, in general has a hopeless romantic way of viewing the world, and in the end was the one struggling to leave the fairy tale and deal with what he really wants/needs. Definitely refreshing seeing this film not delving into how Zoe D. is a quirky girl but actually the person who arguably was the mature romantically cynical person in need of some pixie dust!
Joey Nathan : woah I never saw it that way before but wow
@@joeynathan6073 That's really profound. Summer was just listening to the Smiths and that was all that made her "manic pixie". Then indeed all the critics who called her a manic pixie dream girl because of her previous roles in other movies are basically succumbing to the same mistake that Tom made. That's hilarious man, well spotted.
@@joeynathan6073 Thank you! I thought I was the only one that is always baffled by how people thing Zoe is the MPDG.
That ikea metaphor was on point.
Honey the faucet's not working
Who knows Ikea can be deep too
Yep that was poignant and I totally missed it watching the movie
Timestamp it
It's not too farfetched to say that your explanation of this movie helped me find closure in my own break up. I feel like I was given the explanation that I've always longed for for these past 3 years. I thought he was the one but he left me and in 6months got married. I never found closure. It's funny that I feel a weight lifting from me because of this video. Thank you.
I'm glad it helped out in someway
Wow. I'm so happy for you!
That sucks :/ But ultimately, that's the shit that makes us the strongest
@@thatgirlinautumn5995 and smarter. :)
@@Muchamuchacha Haha so true
Bruh Ive never even had a relationship Idk why I’m here
Sane lol same, but hey, I'm not mad
same-oh, but i like these types of videos 👀
me too
Haha same
Facts
I never noticed how Summer pushed Tom to change. Will need to re-watch this movie some time. Thanks for the video.
yeah, I kinda hated that "bitch" lol. I was young when I watched it and neven knew how to watch movie atm. Need to rewatch.
I never understood why some people made Summer look like a bitch when she made HER intentions/feelings about relationships CLEAR. Tom was acting like a douche all the time - remember the scene where Summer got harassed and he didn't react UNTIL the guy called HIM a loser - god, I hate guys like Tom who are "hopeless romantics" and have this idea of a perfect partner but put zero effort into a relationship when it's not about getting THEIR own goals fulfilled. Guys like that don't even realize how much they're expecting from a partner without providing themselves.
That marks the difference between them. Summer knew Tom´s dreams and ambitions and cared enough to push him towards the right path. Tom didn´t had the same interest in Summer´s inner life. In her party, he gave her an architecture book, when is HIS interest, not hers. Summer husband, in the other hand, asked her about HER book (her interest) and perhaps was more motivated to learn about her, instead of force her into a mold.
@@Sleily Summer was using Tom as an anchor while she was banging other guys on the side. She ditched him as soon as she secured a stable relationship with the guy she really wanted.
Sorry but she is a bitch.
Black French If someone tells you they don’t want a relationship you should listen to them.
“This movie isn’t about the one, but the one you learn from.”
Talk about a punch to the gut
More romcom movies should end this way to remind the overly-romantic people that almost every relationship ends like this
Right. I saw 500 Days of Summer after watching Hitch, because the ending of Hitch was unreal.
Don't worry I think we know, the reason it should be that way is so that people know that it's okay if it ends. So people appreciate what is mentioned here, the growth
@@reaverkai Actually I just like the acting. It's just so impactful while pleasant at the same time. Nowadays people act like tough guys and try to get under your skin and deceive. This movie shows a different way to act and communicate. People in it are just so honest with each other.
I knew a girl who always went on how she was going to find someone and they would be happy forever, and I said "you realise how unrealistic that is" and she looked at me as if I was speaking a foreign language. Anyway, because of that and me being adamant about not dating, she kept on trying to set me up with guys I didn't know and kept on being all snooty about it.
+Crom Yuise Hell no. Romcoms are meant to be opioids. They are meant to be funny, fluffy, to make us feel good, and give us an image of the reality we would want to see, the magic, the happy ever after, the beautiful part of love... because real life is 500 Days of Summer. For this kind of experinces, we have a genre called: drama.
There are like 5 different Ryan Gosling movies here lmao
Hey someone finally noticed 👍
lmao
Leo and ryan should just say fuck it all and runaway together.
@@mrhuntalot123 lol underrated comment.
He's literally me
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. That movie is a clear examplification of a doomed romance. Actually if you think about it, aside from the main characters, it shows how many doomed romances created a goldmine for a business to exploit.
@Nolan M. but you can see they fail over and over. Making a statement that perhaps the real joy is in the journey itself.
Thats not a doomed romance idiot that is a movie that tells us how our unrealistic expectations and impulsive behaviour can make us lose THE ONE
@@Andymandyrocks You call me an idiot and your grammar is not on point... mhm. And it is a doomed romance if we cannot differentiate reality from expectation. Thus you are basically agreeing with me. The one does not exist, just people that makes us happy, and something doomed does not mean it cannot have a rebirth, as it did in Eternal Sunshine of A Spotless Mind.
@@erik6276 grammar nazi spotted 😂 nerd 😝
@@Andymandyrocks lol, am I supposed to feel some sort of way by being called a "nerd"? What are we? Kindergartners?
I'm Tom right now. This is incredibly and painfully accurate.
its funny for me, because i (man) was summer for so long... friendzoning every girl because she wasn't the one. until i found the one, and the tables turned and i was Tom.. friendzoned by the one..
Im tom but a chick. I just have to take the good lesson i learned from him and leave the other stuff behind because there will be another. And for him i will be ready
@@Velociferon im apache helicopter
Same here man
It is really painful. Just another Tom here
I think sometimes when we fall in love, we are not in love with THAT person but a version of her where all her flaws are non-existent. This is why it hurts so much at the end of a relationship when you have to come to terms with the fact that she is not the person you imagined her to be. Some believe that if all relationship will come to an end, why would you spend your time with them? But to me and many other Toms out there, the best part of the journey was not the end, but the times you enjoyed each other's company without worrying about the results, and it's those memories I had with her that drive me to mature and become a better version of myself.
When I got together with my boyfriend I didn't really have that extreme phase of thinking he's perfect or whatever what many people seem to experience. We had been friends for years at that point so I knew his personality somewhat well. I valued (and still value) aspects that contrast my perception of reality and thus helped to keep the both of us in a more balanced place. (I was/still am somewhat depressed, troubled by irrational thoughts of self hate mostly, and he's the type of guy that tries to see the world as it is. So having that rational perspective helped me and in return my emotional perspective helped him understand complex emotions better as he has trouble understanding social cues and such due to him being on the spectrum.)
Sometimes, though, I wonder if I missed out on all those hopeful thoughts about the future. I see friends of mine talking about "their one" and how they'd like to have kids one day with them or travel the world and buy a house and... we never really had those kind of talks? Like, ever? Or just being hopelessly in love and talking about that. I know I can feel like that, but it's like we experience that on our own thanks to each other, you know?
There was a conversation one day that got close, but not quite, it went somewhat like this:
me: "I can't really remember much of my life before I was, like, 10 or 11 years old. Everything else is just memories of what people told me, not actual experiences I can visualize. Kind of a bummer that I don't remember such a big part of my own life. (jokingly) Watch out, thirty years down the line I'll have forgotten about this, too."
him, dead serious: "Well, then I'll just have to still be with you in 30 years."
I kinda just laughed really weirdly in response to that because I didn't expect him to say that at all and it hit home in that moment. We haven't been together for that long, officially, but unofficially it's already been about two years, depending on how you count it.
We'll be going long distance soon and as I feel somewhat/pretty damn afraid of that kind of near future, I wonder if skipping that lovey-dovey phase did us any good. I would love to have at least somewhat precise, realistically obtainable ideas about the future but it's hard to talk about it to him as he isn't sure of what he wants out of life yet (we are both fairly young) and doesn't really react that well to the feelings of not being sure and possible expectations he might not be able to fulfil that come along with that.
I love him very much but I can't shake off the doubts about this uncertainty or at least the lack of hope that is the result of not knowing what to hope for.
Honestly, I have no idea why I started writing this comment anymore, but towards the end it just ended as feeling the need to spell out my feelings somewhere where they can be read, I guess. Hope, I didn't completly miss the point I was trying to make in the beginning, but at least I feel better now. Have a good day to whoever is reading this.
@@rubyrootless7324 I'm gonna hv a ldr too:(
@tony hu, i agree, instead of saying «person without flaws» i say «the persons full potential». When i fell in love with my significant other i saw his flaws, but I also saw all of his potential. This is often why women are accused of trying to «change men» after they get togther.. because when the first feelings of mindless love diminish , the women will try to get their men to act out the potential that they fell for in the first place.
This is absolutely true
Yep. As a Jungian psychologist would say, you projected your "Anima" on her
"What I was never sure of with you."
That line hit me heavy. That I almost fell in depression....
What did she mean by that?
“You are not worthy enough to propagate your species”
@@half.blight That she was never sure of how she felt about him. But with her husband, she was.
At first I never get it. But now I do, she meant that she wasn't sure that she loved him.
This video was recommended to me at a scary perfect time in my life. Scary. I met a girl and we hung out a couple times and eventually we told each other we both had feelings, but we were in weird stages in our life so we didn’t want a relationship. So we gave ourselves 48 hours to hang out and let all our feelings out. She’s never bonfired and stargazed at the beach before and I’ve never seen Waikiki’s Friday night fireworks before so we took each other. After letting it all out we said our goodbyes and now the feelings only exist in the songs I shazammed from her and the Polaroids she took
My most recent upload is of me and the girl (I call her Shooting Star because the first and last thing we did together was stargaze at a beach), so if anyone wants to see more of me and Shooting Star it's there.
TheSpriteStory - Wow. I think I’d feel kind of voyeur-ish. But curiosity also has me ...
Edit: Curiosity won. You should def write this up. You have a gifted way with words. Folks are right. It would make a good (but sad) movie. Peace to you.
That is so fucking mature and inspiring I love it
Damn man. Sorry to hear it, I've had my fair share of romance fails, the doomed ones are plentyful. But remmember this-what you have suffered for has just given you more reasons to feel it again. Never give up on what and how you want to feel.
Dude this fuckin hurts to read.
I've had this relationship. As far as I can tell, its a right of passage and no-one who is ever fortunate to experience is immune from the beating you get from it. Hold your heads up.
Yeah me too. But I used to be the Tom of the situation. I over romanticized things and read into situations that weren’t mutual. Granted, sometimes I was led on to believe it was mutual, but often times that wasn’t the case. It’s because I was lost and broken, and I grew up watching romantic comedies that taught me that if you’re lost, someone can come in and save you. But really, you have to save yourself. I now sympathize with Summer, because I want to work on myself and my goals. If love comes along the way, then it does-and even then that love may not last.
After the 10th time you figure out women are heartless and just terrified of being poor. You can bet if he'd had the highpaying job she'd be a damn limpet mine.
Nova Sky yo stop being an incel and get a life. Women aren’t after your chump change.
All relationships are a power game. The one who cares less has the upper hand. Never lose the upper hand.
these days “incel” is just a slur that means “guy who did a thing I don’t like”. The blackpill is spreading for
a reason. It’s 100% true. Hypergamy is real. Deal with it.
*when you make a movie review video but it ends up being a therapy session for thousands of broken-hearted people*
People need closure
I like his a lot! So many people hate Summer in this movie and connect so strongly with Tom, but I always feel closer to Summer. My last breakup, it was clear he expected so much of me and saw me as another version of himself. I'd like to hope that I changed him by telling him how he needed to stop dwelling on an injury he healed from years ago that ruined a sports career that may never have even gone anywhere, that he needs to focus on himself rather than the idea of 'fixing' someone, but sometimes people are just too romantic and attached to the idea of 'I just need to find someone who will fix me.'
I even blindsided him, I think. I little by little started refusing his offers to come over, would pull away from him when he'd hold onto me in public, remind him over and over that I'm very non-romantic, and he just... Never got it.
I feel like 500 Days of Summer is a very realistic idea of what happens when someone who's overly romantic expects too much from a relationship and starts imagining things, to be honest.
A Little Sad That He Wouldn't Listen To You About The Way You Felt Regarding Being Romantic. But Would The Outcome Had Been Any Different Had He Listened And Compromised?
@@PlanetaryPluto To be honest it probably would have made all the difference. I was head-over-heels for him because his shyness at first came across as him being just as non-romantic. I felt like we had chemistry and I could tell he was interested but he would never get mushy, he wouldn't touch me randomly, he wouldn't flirt. I liked that the most. I guess some people think it's weird but my ideal relationship is something where we already feel like an old married couple. We're not all over each other, but I can rely on you. That's what I'd like, and no matter how much I told him 'I'm not romantic, I don't like cuddles, I don't like flirting, I don't like PDA' he didn't get it and thought he could make me like it.
Then again, you can't change a person, and he was obviously not that way in regards to romance. So even if he was faking his non-romantic side, he probably would have grown as disinterested as I became.
@@StarxLolita Would I Be Wrong To Say That Was A Failure In Communication On Both Sides? Mostly On Him Because. Well He Wouldn't Listen. But. You Also Kind Of Assumed What You Thought He'd Be Like.
What You Said To Me About Your Ideal Relationship Sounds Very Warm And I Kind Of Relate To The Sentiment. I Don't At All Think It's Weird - But Did You Communicate/Tell It To Him Like You Just Told Me? Uhm. I'm Essentially Trying To Figure Out If Better Communication Would've Helped In Avoiding Undesirable Outcomes. You Both Were Very Much Into Each Other. But The Way You Expressed Your Feelings Were Polarized. If He Had Been Better At Listening And You Better At Explaining... That Could've Lead To You Both Making Compromises. Meeting Each Other Half Way. It's Not About Changing The Person You're With. I Don't Think Anyway. I'd Say It's About Understanding. Maybe You'd Have Still Been Together..
@@PlanetaryPluto M8, I think you're projecting too much. I'm just a stranger on the internet, you don't really know how into each other we were. I told him plenty of times, sure, and he'd go 'oh yeah lol I'm not romantic either' even though it was clearly just him trying to connect with me.
It was just a relationship that wasn't going to last. We were going different directions, anyway. Nothing to it, it's just how things are sometimes.
@@StarxLolita Maybe Just A Little. Perhaps You're Right Though. I Was Just Going Off What You Told Me. I Guess You Believe In Fate And I Don't.
Oh my God , take this man's brain and put in a museum. The way he catches intricate details in a movie and interprets them is so mind boggling. This is one of my favorite movies, have watched this a ton of times, all new perspective. Upload more please.
Thank you!
Just have to be highly developed in your observations with a good dosage of unbiased opinion/ open mindedness.
Damn it... This has me in tears...
Definitely set my mind straight about my current situation... I want her to be the one so fucking bad, but it's obvious now she's just some one.
Hey it happens to everyone man
Oof. Brutal.
@@Stranger_In_The_Alps right
Zoe: I just woke up one day and i knew,
Tom: Knew what?
Zoe: What I was never sure of with you...
These are the first romantic movie lines that made me tear cry like a baby.. And boy am I glad I watched this alone on a laptop.
Zoe ?? The girl's name is summer.
I've seen this film multiple times and still never noticed how much Summer cared about Tom's love for architecture. It's so easy to get carried away and see Summer as the selfish bitch, but as you watch the movie again and again, you realise she really did care for him. She was never misleading about her intentions, and maybe the Tom that she liked was one that Tom had yet to discover himself. I also now understand her last dialogue about finding something that she never had with Tom with her husband. This is such a great movie not only because it has an interesting story to tell, but also because of the way that story has been told. The expectations v/s reality scene is one of my all time favourite movie scenes!!
Even if it's not love, we always get something from our relationships. Case in point, my ex taught me how important it is to change your Netflix password.
I was a kid when I watched this movie, and I just took it as just a movie with a failed romance and nothing more. Now, I have an entire different view of reality. Thank you.
What was sour in this is that, in their closure, Tom deemed Summer with bitterness but as for Summer she deemed Tom with sweetness. They learned two different things from each other and it's sad but that's life.
But it’s hard not to see why. Tom started off the movie hopeful not cynical and yet by the end the roles have been reversed. The only difference is that summer gets a marriage and a mate and toms future is left up in the air. Just look at how people can’t fully interpret his ending, did he learn his lesson with autumn? Or will Autumn lead him into a cold and depressing winter? For summer it feels like she didn’t lose anything, she didn’t lose a part of her self, it’s like she gets everything and toms gained nothing and yes people will say “he found his purpose” but a purpose doesn’t keep you warm at night. You can have all the purpose and money in the world but it means nothing if your all alone. For Tom maybe he didn’t need some grand plan or purpose in his life, having a girl, potential wife, a secure future and steady income what’s wrong with that? Sorry for the rant but I just hate how men are always told to have a “purpose” to achieve like were all Elon musk when we simply aren’t. A lot of men will work regular 9-5s, sometimes we had dreams that didn’t work out, lord knows I did but I’ve found my place in other ways while living a simple life and it felt like the movie demonized Tom for that, the way summer kept saying “you still working at that job?” Like what’s wrong with that? He’s employed, not a bum on the street, keeps the lights in the food coming and his boss liked him enough he could’ve been promoted.
No yes I am happy Tom got back into fulfilling his dream of architecture but based on how this movie played out summer was never gonna stick around regardless to if he did or didn’t so in the end did it really matter? Ultimately Tom has now become a broken cynical man who in this day in age maybe successful but he probably spends his nights alone drinking away the pain while everyone else is happy around him
I think Summer knew Tom never saw her for what she was as a person, but as an idealization, a projection of what he expects from love and she probably knew once his idealization fades, his “love” will inevitably fade too, thus she couldn’t love him back
never took the time to see this movie. But i watched all this, and i relived every little thing i lived two years ago. The exact same thing, bullshit job, burried passion never leaving my mind, insight from an idealized girlfriend, thinking not being attached is cool but being blinded by love, not letting go because i thought i needed her. But she knew i was not myself. And suddenly i woke up, being alone, and i threw everything away. Instinctively. Because i learned from her like he learned from Summer. I went to Paris and begun learning to be an illustator and an animator. And i will never forget how she helped me by leaving me at this right time.
Thank you my Lady.
@@WilliamBarryRobertsbitter dude
@@WilliamBarryRoberts Bro... You missed the entire point of this whole video.
@@boborson5536 Women do not think like men. When she dumps your ass, it is not to "help you find yourself"....she found a better deal. Swallow the Red Pill my friend.
@@WilliamBarryRoberts most often, the woman dumps the man because he wasn't marriage material to begin with. Feelings/connection/chemistry are not enough to make a marriage work and raise children. Many men are immature dusty looking for a woman to be their provider and sugar mommy. Swallow the red pill my friend
The last line of summer really hits hards for me. And tom's head shaking just tells me that even though summer's right, it still kinda sucks to invest so much on things you think you ever wanted and needed and not getting it cos it was just not the right thing for you, still you have to swallow that reality cos thats for the best. I thought I could never love this movie than I already did, well Im wrong. Such great video makes me wanna watch 500 days of summer again
"It just wasn't me you were right about"
"If he could misinterpret small things going wrong then he could equally misinterpret things going his way"
I felt that...
I can relate so much to Summer, especially the part of him asking how she never wanted to be anybody's gf but became somebody's wife instead and she answers it just happened. I believe in that too, things just do happen sometimes.
Lol it doesn't "just happen". She found a better man. She was not that into him from the begining, just using him coz she was lonely.
Hypergamy defined. She’s never yours, it’s just your turn.
@@youtubesucks2755 This
"Why is it that we don't recognize the moment love begins but we always know when it ends." - L.A. Story
I am not a fan of "romantic" movies but in this video you explained very well. I may watch this movie in the future.
The only romantic movie I liked is "About Time" mainly because of romance with time travel ability.
I like it when there is sadness, suffering and pain in romance and I hate it when there is none of that. I absolutely hate it when characters just kiss-make out without any emotion or back story of why. Love isn't something that simple and easy. It doesn't work like that in reality.
Nobody Reads My Comments i am a fan of romantic movies, and about time is my favorite😭
"I like it when there is sadness, suffering and pain in romance and I hate it when there is none of that."
Then you'll definitely love Blue Valentine.
Watch a moment to remember a korean movie
About Time is one of my favorite movies. It goes so far beyond the love stage and really matures.
I actually really dislike romantic movies, The Notebook, Dear John, Leap Year, etc. Basically any movie that follows the same old clichéd formula (boy meets girl, they fall in love, they get into a fight, they get back together, happy ending) But there's something about 500 Days with Summer that's so special. It's in fact my favorite movie, I don't know if you already saw it since your comment is 6 months old, but I really suggest giving this movie a try, it's really good and it's almost an anti-romantic movie, it really deconstructs the genre
How many of us have had that dream. The dream that feels so real. The dream where we gaze upon an angel for what seems like the first time and you fallow not in her shadow but in her mysterious light and you end up chasing her through what seems like every nostalgic feeling that youve ever felt longing for her to show her true self to you and that maybe, just maybe she would turn around and actually notice you... Then you wake up... Realizing it was a dream and that you may never see her again...
Found your channel through your video on cosmic horror - 500 Days of Summer is my favorite movie, so I was delighted to see that, not only had you covered it, but covering it was the first thing that you did! While it may have to do with the theme that you were aiming for with this series, it's kind of unfortunate that you brushed over how the film manages the viewer's perspective to match Tom's. On a first viewing, everything is taken at face value, and a lot of people leave feeling like Summer was a villain. On a second or third watch, she comes across as a lesson to learn from, maybe personified, and maybe she's "the good guy."
And, at least for me, it took a healthy number of viewings before I appreciated that both Tom and Summer were... people. Regular, developing people who learned from each other and (mostly) enjoyed their time together. Summer wasn't just a lesson for Tom, Tom was also a lesson for Summer, and when they part ways at the end they are both better for it. (Also, and this is something that I only realized while listening to the director's commentary, but that scene where they talk at the end was written to only be ambiguously real. It makes just as much sense if you think of it as something that Tom is making up for personal closure.)
Yeah I also was not too fond of Summer at my first viewing but with time I really changed my mind over it.
I just finished this video but doesnt the last part of this video essay talk exactly about that? They clearly go over the fact that it “wasn’t a one way street” and that Summer also learned from him. They show his disillusionment and Summer’s comforting and reaffirming of his previous beliefs. They go over the fact that both characters have grown and the last meeting was the final push for Sam(?) to grow.
Even though Summer was pretty straightforward with what she says to Tom, I don't know if I could truly blame Tom for feeling the way he felt given all the benefits that Summer gives him. In the end, I think both are to be blamed for how things ended up.
The scene when Tom essentially gives up on Summer and decides to focus on his passion of architecture is one of my favorites. I don't think the message necessarily is to focus on your own happiness in order to find it, but it's to focus on progressing yourself that prepares you to be better for others, which in turn makes you happier. Brilliant.
Heartbreak is horrible until you reach the end. That feeling of not being able to see a future beyond the person that you love. Not being able to be with them because they don't feel the same. This has really helped me. I've been through the process and currently going through it now. She is the only person I can see, think and want. Life man. Life is really something.
Going through this now. Been going through it for years now. Can't seem to accept that it won't happen. But each day I am trying to let go slowly of the dreams i had. This too shall pass
-From a spiritual standpoint, they aren’t even soulmates trust me lol
-summer grew less cynical and Tom became more realistic. Balance
Years later and I still keep discovering something new about this movie. Nothing could replace 500 Days of Summer in my heart.
"When you look back you look at all the good stuff, I think you should have another look at it again"
I'm use them words
It really sucks to realize you were the Tom in a relationship. That you put so much unfair obligation and expectations on someone just because you decided they were the one. But thanks for this video -it helped me realize my mistakes and I just want to apologize to everyone I’ve hurt because of this.
im tumbling through my own break up as of right now. Ive talked to family, friends, and anyone that would listen. I whole heartedly believe that she is the one, but we came across some problems that just couldnt be solved or looked over. Ive even just googled my problems, like how to get over her, how to fix the relationship, how to move pasted, how to ignite it. Just a constant back and forth. So im just sitting here trying to keep my mind off of her, going through youtube recommendations, till i see this very video. This video essay is the only thing thats made any sense so far, im gonna keep thinking about the points that you made and the points the movie makes for a little while. All i can say is thank you. Thank you to you and who ever helped make this video, thank you to the director of the movie, and thank you to what ever other worldly forces that are out there that put this video in my recommended list :)
I hope things will go well for you.
hope it will get better soon fast
Can king kong be considered a doomed relationship?
Well duh, XD First off it's not gonna fit, if you know what I mean XD (Sarcasm over)
Tragic, perhaps. Also gross.
The genre of the movie is another one, dude. (Sarcasm)
Of course
this film represents how some people are meant to fall in love with each other but not be together in the end
I broke up with my best friend 5 times before releasing that I needed her not as a lover but as a companion, and honestly I feel so much better
This movie made me realize that, moving on but in different ways and your explanation was amazing
Aww.. I might have been on the other end. Because im a hopeless romantic
@@toy8745 you mean keep trying for a partner? This is what worked for me but if you want that person to love you keep trying
Oh my god, I need to know how you can manage you keep that person as a companion without falling in love again or feeling tortured by stronger feelings you can't live up to? Yesterday I feel like I had a similar talk with my own ex and best friend... she kinda needs me as a companion even though we chose not be get back together, and I have no idea what to do about it, because I feel the same way, but I'm afraid of torturing myself with lies and thinking it's all just weakness that I cannot just say no and cut ties.
5 times?!
I love the "doomed romances" where both characters learn and grow up in the end and although they don't end up together....They helped each other grow and find themselves or reach their goal/dreams. That is also love. Love doesn't have to be where someone stays with the other forever. It's knowing that the relationship wasn't taken for granted. Memories were made and looking back at them, you might feel sad but you are satisfied that it happened.
At last a video essay that gets to the heart of the matter.
Architecture was Tom's first love and for whatever reason he didn't pursue it. Idealizing Summer was a displacement activity for his real love.
Summer was always encouraging him to go back into architecture, asking him questions about how he saw their surroundings; she noticed his passion for it.
I think that she went as far as she did with him to see if he would acknowledge his mission/passion/purpose. He couldn't......not while he was with her. It took her leaving for him to rediscover it.
They both had extreme viewpoints and attitudes and they balanced each other out.
I remember watching this movie as a kid and falling in love with Summer and feeling my first deep heartbreak as the movie progressed.
Gotta say I love the scores you choose for the bgm in your videos. They just seem to fit the tone so well.
Thank you I take a lot of time to find the right one
I've been dealing with breaking up with the person I was wholeheartedly convinced was "the one" for over a year now, and this video came to me at the exact right time. It feels really important. Thank you for making this and all the other intriguing videos you make :)
I'm glad the video was helpful in someway 👍
It's been a little while since i broke up with a person i had loved deeply and it was a relationship that was never supposed to end, but it did. Man i think nothing in life ever prepares you for that. In the end you learn so much about yourself- that you have to keep going forward and grow.
Heartbreak is all part of growth.
God, the split screen rooftop scene where the party goes one way in his mind, devastatingly compared to the actual party scene is brutal. Oh my heart.
The moment when a video essay takes your most abstract thoughts & turns them into a clear understandable masterpiece....that's what this is.👌👏Perfection.
Glad you liked it 👍
This channel is severly underrated, it's a crime
"i know you think that she was the one, but i dont..no, i think your just remembering the good stuff, next time you should look back again. "
True, all of these happened cause good memories just in my head, sometimes you need to remember bad things from yourself to accept a bad thing from others.
Thank you for this fresh take on the characters.. I think we've all played Summer and Tom in relationships at some point in our lives..
When you think of it this way, the chance, that you fall in love with a good person and that person loves you back too, is incredibly rare. Yet, there are so many people who have happy, beautiful relationships. Finding true love is so difficult and yet we see it happening quite frequently, sometimes when we expect it the least. The concept is miraculously beautiful yet so depressing.
I can remember us spending so much time like a real couple, yet without holding each others' hands or ever referring to our "relationship"; being on the bed together, but without getting physically intimate; talking about marriage, having kids, our futures, but without putting us together in the picture; automatically reaching for her elbow on the desk to comfort her as she lightly chokes one time, and her noticing and moving her hand away; smiling at each other randomly, but without ever uttering a word, like old friends. Never knew that there was a movie about this. And I also remember saying that I've grown wiser after this experience, just like the narrator interpreted. This video is so relatable and very real in a sense.
I really needed this. I've so far fallen in love with 5 people this year, and I'm questioning religion, who I like, my sexuality, everything really. But now I know. Those we're people. And it's a good thing I didn't get into relationships with them because they all taught me to change and be better
I just took in a small symbolism that the writers might have done on purpose. Summer had shorter hair when she was with Tom, but once she got married, she decided to stop cutting it and start growing it. Maybe I'm late on this realization but I thought it was pretty cool
I teared up to the part where you pointed out about Summer pushing Tom to learn more about what he really wanted to do in life. She really makes an effort to listen to him and inspire him. She is actually a good person and I love and understand her even more through time.
"he even got his old shadow back. but now it had its twin" - Lindybeige
shoutout lindybeige
I love 500 days of Summer and its underlying message to all seeking the one.
Tom and Summer met each other but were never meant to be with each other but in the end they both learned a lot from each other.
After six years together, I think he's just someone, not the one. I was Tom.
“Leaving without being followed.” That is such a good line.Really excellent analysis. Equal parts lyrical and cogent - a difficult task. Thank you.
I think in these relationship the characters inspire each other to live on, maybe differently, maybe passionately, maybe it changes them to be better person, idk maybe it just builds character for them. It shows how people change other people for better or worse
This was a beautiful interpretation.
In a weird way it has also helped me put again into perspective everything I have grappled with after ending my relationship over a year ago. Not that I did not gain it over the last few months but it is good to hear it out loud through the analysis of a movie too.
Also, "He was looking for the one. Instead he found someone", is so true. And these someones also important.
Great work!
500 days of summer is my favorite movie of all time. The cinematography, acting, and plot is just amazing and made me relate to the movie the first time I watched it
To me the best kind of love and the maddest kind of love is one that will never last.
I haven't even watched this movie but your video made me teary-eyed.
I always find myself coming back to this movie
SUMMER FLINN OMG
Genius observation yo
This is one of the best reviews of this movie, I like how this was the first review I saw where someone focused on how they both grew in the end
How is it that this channel does not have more visits and subscribers, it is fabulous and well worked, good job good man :0
Thank you very much!
My UA-cam suggestions knows me better than I know myself. Found this video almost 24 hours after being dumped by the guy I thought was "the one". I really loved the whole analysis of the movie, this video is perfect ❤️
The last part made me cry tho but hey, i'll think about this the next time, cause there will be a next time.
Glad you liked it and I hope it was helpful
I myself am going through a similar experience. I completely forgot about this movie just as much as how I completely forgot about myself and my passion while I was with her. I only saw the good parts of her which furthered my expectations and clouded the reality of how all this was breaking me inside. This gave me closure in just a few minutes where as I was looking for closure from her the last two weeks. I realized that no one will ever be ready for what you have to give them and that there will always be some one better than you in their eyes. That's how you know they're not the one because the one will take you in with open arms and will the effort and accept you without complications. Love isn't supposed to be difficult, it's not supposed to stop you from sleeping, to stop you from eating and making you sad. Love is supposed to make you feel like you're enough. You're the main character in your own story, build yourself and further your story, the right people will follow along in your journey and they will stay.
why am i crying in the club right now
Desi American Radio Show why u on UA-cam in the club
What a beautiful and insightful analysis. Congratulations! I've watched this movie dozens of times and loved it since I was a teenager, and until now I had never managed to grasp the points you very briliantly put in this video. Even made me tear up a little bit remembering my past relationship and how, despite the fact it was a doomed romance, it pushed me to change for the better.
I'm glad it was helpful 👍
the background music to this is so beautiful
I just saw this movie 2 days ago for the first time and i’ve been watching reviews and dissections non stop, this video is the best i’ve seen yet!
Thank you so much for this, man. I never really gotten to finishing this movie since it reminded me so much of what I had just recently. My friends actually recommended me this movie after I told them the story of what I had. I think I can watch the whole movie once and for all haha
New sub :))
You’re the first person I’ve seen explain how she was a guide for Tom. What’s weird is how few people caught on to this.
It even explains it at the end of the movie when he meets Autumn that Tom had learned not to leave things up to fate if he wants something he has to get it.
Sweet Lord, that was deep. And beautiful.
And tragic.
But in a good way.
You are an incredibly prolific writer/communicator. I feel a bit more whole after watching.
Cheers to you.
Thank you very much for your kind words
Thank you "Screened", when you say "Summer notices he becomes a different person when he speaks of the buildings unlike the man she sees at work, bored at his desk and unfulfilled." That reminds of someone.
I have to say that your explanation almost mirrored my relationship and it gave me some comfort and closure. I was totally joseph gordon levitt but if he ended up in a wheelchair. I cant stand movies about love or infidelity anymore but it did make me grow as a person and im just trying to remember good times when she wasnt the one, just someone. Also my sons mom and my ex fiance but just someone. Thank you for helping me realize that.
I'm glad it was helpful 👍
You have to go through some heartbreaks to really understand and appreciate this movie and UA-cam video. Thanks 🙏🏾 a lot
The second time I watched this movie I came to see that Summer was a really good person. And I came to like her a lot.
i've watched 500 days of summer three times in my life. once when i was 15 (i hated it), once when I was dating my ex-boyfriend (I was trying to convince him it was bad), and once after we broke up. you hit the nail exactly on the head, man. the movie speaks to me. your video diagnoses exactly why
Just finished an on-off relationship of about a year and a half and not only it feels relevant it actually made me see things in a bit of a brighter, lighter way.
We all take different paths in life, but no matter where we go, we take a little of each other everywhere.
Thank you. I didn't know I needed this. Been trying to move on from a relationship that had ended months ago, and trust me, just like any normal human being with hurt feelings, I tried many times to hate him. But I couldn't. Because he helped me grow. Sure, there were many downs that coexisted with the ups - but looking back, before we dated, I was so underdeveloped. My views were different, and I lived life without goals, and love for myself. He loved me so much that I learned to love myself. I thought he was the one, and before watching this, part of me was still hoping we would eventually get back together for a plot twist happy ending. But maybe you're right. You probably are - about how, sometimes, people come into your life just to show you the way. Not 'the one', but 'someone'. Thanks again. Wow holy shit I typed so much lmao
I'm glad it was helpful
I always thought that at the end where he’s sitting at the bench with summer that she wasn’t actually there, and he’s hallucinating it and he’s talking to himself.
Oh my God Tom's face at 14:56 is so painful to see. I just want to hug him. I feel your pain buddy 😔 We've all been there.
The face of disappointment.
@@kenshobuq7105 And heartache
hey, whoever did this, thank you. i've been so wrapped up in the romance of this film and how much i'd identified with tom, i hadn't even realize the overarching point, that it's a journey of realizing fault. yeah, the same way tom is so idealistic and sensitive about every detail, or "sign" (the "it was goooood" part really struck me). thank you again. i need to tamper my expectations and stop idealizing love and the women i've been with and will be with in the future.
i sincerely mean it. this was one analysis video on youtube that got a point i wouldn't have come to, maybe because i'm too self-involved to truly look at myself. maybe i'm scared to. but either way, thanks for the video.
I'm glad it was helpful 👍
Ive been watching a lot of movies that i loved during my 20s and early 30s that i haven't watched in a really long time. This is one of them - i couldn't watch this movie for a long time because it brought up too many painful memories. Now having watched this 10 yrs later i realize this movie isn't about losing her, it was about her being the catalyst for what his life would eventually become. I still cry when i see it though. LOL!
Dude, I haven't seen so many likes in the comments of people in other videos before. So many of us truly identify with these two lovers. Great video, man.
Thank you very much I'm glad you liked it 👍
Tom’s main flaw is that his fantasy stopped him from seeing reality.
This is evident in the last scene where Summer tells him she basically chose someone else that fit the description of what Tom thought he was to her.
His response is that he doesn’t understand how Summer rationalizes leaving him for someone who made her feel sure of things Tom didn’t.
Tom may have also loved her, but not because of who she was.
When Summer tells him she was marrying someone else because that guy made her sure of what Tom didn’t, Tom doesn’t know what she’s referring to because,
Tom felt sure he was that person to her.
He didn’t realize she didn’t love him, because his only concern was about making it work with her.
This is how Tom was manipulated into believing she could love him.
She liked the attention but didn’t respect what he wanted in a relationship.
He felt like he could make her fall in love with him which apparently was possible, considering she fell in love, though not with him.
Tom’s biggest flaw was assuming she felt the same way, while compromising what he wanted in a relationship to begin with.
That’s what caused Summer to disregard Tom in the relationship.
She had the freedom to do whatever she wants, because she didn’t want what Tom wanted in the first place.
The irony is that Summer eventually did want what Tom wanted. She even claims he was right!
The reason she didn’t consider Tom as that guy, isn’t exactly shown; As the movie is about Tom’s expectations not being met.
Summer doesn’t represent a healthy person living happily ever after, she represents someone who is after what she want’s at the cost of other people. Tom represents a man who romanticized the opposite of what Summer ended up being.
Dude you should do more of this, the way you explain it is so easy to understand yet so deep.