👉 Get ongoing guidance from Dr. K by joining the Helping Older Parents Membership: 👉 betterhealthwhileaging.mykajabi.com/join-helping-older-parents-special-offer
Thank you for your video & the information you’ve provided 🙏 My father is less than a month away from his 70th birthday, and I’ve been noticing some things that are starting to concern me a bit. I realize, now, that I’ve been going about things in a way quite contrary to your recommendations. Specifically: Trying to “correct” their “version of reality”, or how things happened when my dad has a recollection that is considerably off. When I do try to explain my version of things, he insists that he is correct, & that I’m pushing or forcing my “opinion” on him. One example of this is when he went shopping at the grocery store recently, and he was 100% certain he bought a certain number of items, and I told him what he’d actually purchased. The difference was minor, but he would not even acknowledge that there was even a chance he’d made a mistake until I’d physically fetched & showed him what was physically brought home. (even then he’d joked that I must’ve went and bought the additional item 😅). I feel as though this whole time I’ve been having to deal w/ my dad in an argumentative way, which is obviously not an ideal method of communicating for a peaceful relationship, and I’ve thought he was just stubborn and purposefully being difficult. I now believe I’m wrong about this, and that he’s not doing it on purpose, so I feel as though it’s time for me to enter the “detective” phase, and I’m also considering enlisting the help of my sister to see if she’d be willing to pay closer attention to him, but in the ways you describe. My dad has always been a very self-sufficient, intelligent, and pretty stubborn man, and it seems like, in his advancing age, his stubbornness & patience have increased & decreased significantly, respectfully. *If you have any additional tips for someone who has this kind of “more on the difficult” side of a personality, I would very much appreciate your insight!* (Also-I’m definitely going to get the kindle version of your book-I think it would be a great tool for my family) + (Just sub’d & liked 👍) *THANK YOU AGAIN!!* 🙏
Thanks for sharing your story. My top tips are in the book; I think you're on the right track and you just need to keep going. Re your father being stubborn: most people tell me their parent is particularly stubborn. Honestly, I've found that it's a minority of aging parents in this situation who are not "stubborn" or resistant. See if you can reduce the tension with him while playing detective and learning more about how he sees things, and what's actually happening. Good luck!
Hope you have found this video helpful...and that you will otherwise be able to find the information and support you need during this time. It's not easy to be going through neuro-psych exams. Good luck and take care!
I have an article on financial exploitation that covers what to do when this type of elder abuse is being perpetrated by someone the older person is closer to. The principles apply for most other forms of elder abuse. betterhealthwhileaging.net/financial-abuse-what-to-know/
What's your thoughts about Quetiapine 25mg My dad had pneumonia and in hospital received this medication now he retains his urine and a nurse needs to help him by using a catheter plus constipation. He only had some memory loss and anxiety after covid isolation. Thank you.
👉 Get ongoing guidance from Dr. K by joining the Helping Older Parents Membership: 👉 betterhealthwhileaging.mykajabi.com/join-helping-older-parents-special-offer
Thank you for your video & the information you’ve provided 🙏
My father is less than a month away from his 70th birthday, and I’ve been noticing some things that are starting to concern me a bit.
I realize, now, that I’ve been going about things in a way quite contrary to your recommendations.
Specifically: Trying to “correct” their “version of reality”, or how things happened when my dad has a recollection that is considerably off. When I do try to explain my version of things, he insists that he is correct, & that I’m pushing or forcing my “opinion” on him.
One example of this is when he went shopping at the grocery store recently, and he was 100% certain he bought a certain number of items, and I told him what he’d actually purchased. The difference was minor, but he would not even acknowledge that there was even a chance he’d made a mistake until I’d physically fetched & showed him what was physically brought home. (even then he’d joked that I must’ve went and bought the additional item 😅).
I feel as though this whole time I’ve been having to deal w/ my dad in an argumentative way, which is obviously not an ideal method of communicating for a peaceful relationship, and I’ve thought he was just stubborn and purposefully being difficult.
I now believe I’m wrong about this, and that he’s not doing it on purpose, so I feel as though it’s time for me to enter the “detective” phase, and I’m also considering enlisting the help of my sister to see if she’d be willing to pay closer attention to him, but in the ways you describe.
My dad has always been a very self-sufficient, intelligent, and pretty stubborn man, and it seems like, in his advancing age, his stubbornness & patience have increased & decreased significantly, respectfully.
*If you have any additional tips for someone who has this kind of “more on the difficult” side of a personality, I would very much appreciate your insight!*
(Also-I’m definitely going to get the kindle version of your book-I think it would be a great tool for my family) + (Just sub’d & liked 👍)
*THANK YOU AGAIN!!* 🙏
Thanks for sharing your story. My top tips are in the book; I think you're on the right track and you just need to keep going. Re your father being stubborn: most people tell me their parent is particularly stubborn. Honestly, I've found that it's a minority of aging parents in this situation who are not "stubborn" or resistant. See if you can reduce the tension with him while playing detective and learning more about how he sees things, and what's actually happening. Good luck!
I love this podcast and now it's great to have videos to watch too!!! Thank you Dr. Kernisan!!!
Aw, thank you for your support and interest!
I watch so many of these videos directed toward parents and caregivers. I just had a neuro-psych exam.
Hope you have found this video helpful...and that you will otherwise be able to find the information and support you need during this time. It's not easy to be going through neuro-psych exams. Good luck and take care!
Excellent starting point….very helpful “stop doing” list. Looking forward to more details in your book
Glad it was helpful!
This was amazing advice and information. I will be recommending this video and your book to everyone I know with aging parents. Thank you!
Thank you, Vonalda! I'm so glad you found it helpful and I appreciate your spreading the word to others who might find it helpful as well!
My Dad will go to my sister's or a nursing home
Talk about parents that are being abused mentally, and how to help 😢
I have an article on financial exploitation that covers what to do when this type of elder abuse is being perpetrated by someone the older person is closer to. The principles apply for most other forms of elder abuse. betterhealthwhileaging.net/financial-abuse-what-to-know/
What's your thoughts about Quetiapine 25mg
My dad had pneumonia and in hospital received this medication now he retains his urine and a nurse needs to help him by using a catheter plus constipation. He only had some memory loss and anxiety after covid isolation. Thank you.
Thankyou ❤