Why Men Get TOO SEXUAL Too Early

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  • Опубліковано 30 січ 2025

КОМЕНТАРІ • 3,5 тис.

  • @MeetStephanSpeaks
    @MeetStephanSpeaks  3 роки тому +71

    ⭐ Join my SPECIAL coaching program here 👉 www.receivingmyblessings.com 👈 so many women are experiencing AMAZING results!

  • @chefnic4763
    @chefnic4763 3 роки тому +3522

    A man that is quick to share his body has a host of issues. Insecurity, sex addiction, low self-esteem etc...Women of high value don't want a man that has a graveyard full of skeletons. Ladies, don't settle. Choose wisely. ❤

  • @turner2952
    @turner2952 3 роки тому +1548

    People need to know the difference between lust and love. Love is patient. Lust is greedy and has to have it now. Take the time to get to know someone and allow love to develop slowly.
    We live in an "instant gratification" society. Pray for discernment, ask God for guidance.

  • @LaurenCheriSOCFI
    @LaurenCheriSOCFI Рік тому +312

    People have forgotten about going out dancing as a means to “test drive” sexual chemistry without having sex! Dancing is a wonderful way to build intimacy and trust and get to know each other without crossing lines that complicate things

    • @loveandhappiness8178
      @loveandhappiness8178 Рік тому +11

      Very interesting

    • @Ace7of7Cups
      @Ace7of7Cups Рік тому +15

      Not many people dance these days. Not many men

    • @Cristina-we9tv
      @Cristina-we9tv Рік тому +16

      Agree. Love dancing and go out for dancing three times per week. Love to connect with guys on that level and it is true that it helps to build trust and intimacy with guys. It is also helps with our bodies’ self-awareness. Fortunately there are many men that love dancing where I live.

    • @mmommo10
      @mmommo10 Рік тому +9

      and get exercise

    • @mrssheilasworldoffuninspir1919
      @mrssheilasworldoffuninspir1919 Рік тому +17

      My husband and I danced privately together many times during our fifteen months courtship. We didn't have sex until our wedding night. We are each other's third charms. We just celebrated our 5th year wedding anniversary and vowel renewal ceremony at our local church. ❤❤❤

  • @riagiv01
    @riagiv01 3 роки тому +2966

    Another one is that he wants to plant a soul tie to make you emotional attached so you won't be able to leave him (easily) when you get to know him and find out he is just a piece of sh*t.

    • @tarmarajohnson2659
      @tarmarajohnson2659 3 роки тому +124

      That's my ex 😂

    • @ladygrant07
      @ladygrant07 3 роки тому +60

      Good point!

    • @mysterialpearlf
      @mysterialpearlf 3 роки тому +48

      Facts

    • @marshamcdonald1475
      @marshamcdonald1475 3 роки тому +87

      Exactly: good sex too soon
      Prohibits asking questions:
      The relationship is now based
      On fantasy and illusion.
      Ask questions such as:
      Do you have a job, how much
      Debt do you have, do you have an STD, what recreational drugs
      Do you do. Ask questions, gather data. Sex too soon
      We get lost in moment and
      Forget the important questions.
      Then he love bombs us and
      He is a covert narcissist.

    • @whateverrr3893
      @whateverrr3893 3 роки тому +28

      Lmao exactly

  • @yourrealtor_Danielle
    @yourrealtor_Danielle 3 роки тому +1844

    The entitlement to our bodies is what trips me out.

    • @Blazian2000
      @Blazian2000 3 роки тому +183

      YES!!! 👏👏👏 They think they own us... it's like no, my body is just that, MY body.

    • @yourrealtor_Danielle
      @yourrealtor_Danielle 3 роки тому +156

      So true. It seems that ppl have forgotten about the many STDs. You don’t know who you’re encountering. Be careful and take your time everyone.

    • @bquesha30
      @bquesha30 3 роки тому +88

      Right. Like we own them that just because they interested

    • @K33nan97w
      @K33nan97w 3 роки тому +52

      The entitlement to our wallets is what amazes me

    • @Blazian2000
      @Blazian2000 3 роки тому +30

      @@K33nan97w WOW!!! Really though??? It's not even like that. I don't believe that women think they're entitled to a man's wallet...hence yours.

  • @kp8972
    @kp8972 2 роки тому +1518

    The more I learn about men the happier I am to remain single.

    • @sarahrobertson634
      @sarahrobertson634 2 роки тому +55

      Amen, sister.

    • @nduretv2
      @nduretv2 2 роки тому +21

      Super facts fam OMG JUST MADE ME REMEMBER HOW I MET MY EX FIANCE OMG THEN HE TOOK ME DAG I SHOULD HAVE SEEN THIS COMING I FORGOT SMH THATS OK IM DUSTING MYSELF OFF 😊🙏🏾

    • @sashalexander3191
      @sashalexander3191 2 роки тому +17

      😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

    • @Thefew12
      @Thefew12 2 роки тому +7

      😂

    • @madelineroesch4251
      @madelineroesch4251 2 роки тому +14

      Preach. Totally agree

  • @Blazian2000
    @Blazian2000 3 роки тому +1521

    "Not every man is built to see your value."- Stephan Speaks 👏👏👏
    So, to some men, they may see sex as our only value - if that's the case, Ladies we need to run.

    • @MeetStephanSpeaks
      @MeetStephanSpeaks  3 роки тому +43

      🙌💯

    • @K33nan97w
      @K33nan97w 3 роки тому +8

      Why run I can see sex as the only value and still treat you with respect 🤷🏾‍♂️

    • @Blazian2000
      @Blazian2000 3 роки тому +91

      @@K33nan97w Stephan already addressed your point in this video (and others), if the man and woman BOTH agree to that, then that is all it is.. that's fine, HOWEVER there are some men who know that the woman likes them, desires them for something more than just sex, and they (the men) will use the mess out of her just for sex. That's plain wrong.

    • @sherrya4070
      @sherrya4070 3 роки тому +4

      Amen and amen again!

    • @tanyalayne5007
      @tanyalayne5007 3 роки тому +22

      @@K33nan97w Because we don't want to get hurt.

  • @erikastevenson7142
    @erikastevenson7142 3 роки тому +790

    That's why we have to pray and ask God for discernment while dating🙏🏽

    • @dawnstonerock4253
      @dawnstonerock4253 3 роки тому +11

      Yes, yes, and yes!!!

    • @laurawilliams4087
      @laurawilliams4087 3 роки тому +34

      the Bible makes it very clear do not have sex with a man before marriage. No matter what the man says for example "well I am paying for the meals so you owe me sex".

    • @erikastevenson7142
      @erikastevenson7142 3 роки тому +1

      Yesss Dawn Stonerock

    • @erikastevenson7142
      @erikastevenson7142 3 роки тому +10

      Yes Laura Williams can't get no clearer than that, God Bless🙏🏽

    • @denitaadamsinc
      @denitaadamsinc 3 роки тому

      AMEN 🙌🏾

  • @jessicama5799
    @jessicama5799 Рік тому +103

    Men should move faster with commitment than with sex. Establishing trust and a relationship is the first step.

    • @Bluesky-f2n
      @Bluesky-f2n 7 місяців тому +4

      Exactly, it's more chance we get played than them. And for women it's more serious issue. I got almost played and was very heartbroken, to know who that man really was.

    • @Nikkiijean
      @Nikkiijean 5 місяців тому

      And how pathetic are men that we have to explain the basics of humanity to them … yet of course, somehow, WOMEN are the problem and inferior to them 😂

  • @kimberlybarnett835
    @kimberlybarnett835 3 роки тому +1063

    Sounds like dating has become a game and no one being open and honest about what they want.

    • @MeetStephanSpeaks
      @MeetStephanSpeaks  3 роки тому +63

      It isn't an easy situation, but we need to focus on doing what is truly best!

    • @nieyshabrown9578
      @nieyshabrown9578 3 роки тому +4

      @@MeetStephanSpeaks Absolutely!! 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

    • @dawnstonerock4253
      @dawnstonerock4253 3 роки тому +4

      AGREE!!

    • @davidolufemipopoola2182
      @davidolufemipopoola2182 3 роки тому +19

      This is what it's actually become. People don't move natural any longer. It's all about mind boggling activities now.

    • @atlantasfaithsmom
      @atlantasfaithsmom 3 роки тому +13

      That's what I said above! I didn't get one like, but I know what I said is true: Communication! 🗣️🗝️

  • @blackdiamond9087
    @blackdiamond9087 3 роки тому +1922

    Whenever a guy invites a woman over to his house to hang out it’s a set up …. Run 🏃🏾ladies 😹😹😹 Stephan ain’t ever lie !

    • @rsamuels6969
      @rsamuels6969 3 роки тому +18

      🤣🤣

    • @MzRiley1272
      @MzRiley1272 3 роки тому +177

      Not always... I went thinking it was going to pop off and this dude took a nap! Got up and cooked. Shocked! 😱

    • @truarnett5519
      @truarnett5519 3 роки тому +6

      No thank you! 🤣🤣🤣

    • @naimalee1046
      @naimalee1046 3 роки тому +49

      Ive been telling women that and they don't believe me and i am a woman lol of course its not always the case but most times...

    • @pianotnt
      @pianotnt 3 роки тому +39

      yup learnt that back in 2016 this old man just wanted a live in sex buddy didn't care about me as a person fast forward 5 years trying to be on facebook with different pages trying to friend me I have him blocked

  • @annhershey8111
    @annhershey8111 2 роки тому +508

    I totally agree. I become way too attached when I give myself to someone. It is an energetic bond that is not easy to break It takes time and you need to cut the cords energetically. It really deepens a bond because more is going on than just sharing your body. I trusted someone and did it too early in my opinion, maybe not to others. It ended and it has caused more healing to move past the connection. Be discerning and careful with sharing that part of you ladies

    • @tamaramoni6767
      @tamaramoni6767 2 роки тому +36

      I'm going through this now, dissapointed at myself for the decisions i took :(.... I need a a ((((hug))))

    • @ramaat2731
      @ramaat2731 2 роки тому +28

      I'm not alone. Just made this mistake after being abstinent for 3 years. I'm trying so hard not live with regret and learn from it. Sigh

    • @NallahBrown
      @NallahBrown 2 роки тому +14

      @@ramaat2731 please be patient on your path to forgiveness, you will open your heart to yourself again💐🤍🤍

    • @lesleyannroberts4301
      @lesleyannroberts4301 2 роки тому +25

      Yes!!! I tell people all the time "soul ties" are real!!! I was in a situationship with someone who I believed thought the world of me only for him to tell me I did not have the "body type" he desired and I didn't look good enough to be his woman! But, yet he wanted to remain friends 🥴I was so hurt and have struggled to break those ties to him. I definitely am not in a rush to physically or mentally be with anyone this whole process has been torture!😢

    • @KFontLab
      @KFontLab 2 роки тому +19

      I love the fact that you are being real with yourself and others. Sex is a bonding agent and when done with the wrong person it creates unhealthy conditions. So many do not want to admit this because staying ignorant to the truth seems to be so much fun.
      Knowing yourself and what is healthy for you keeps you out of ALOT

  • @sundressjones4426
    @sundressjones4426 3 роки тому +543

    I was in this very situation last week. We have been on 4 dates in a month and half and he’s been a perfect gentleman. I began to wonder if he was attracted to me because he didn’t try to at least kiss me and I thought he was attracted to me because we lived 2 hours away and I didn’t think if he wasn’t interested that he wouldn’t continue to do the drive. So, this past weekend I just asked him and he said he was and that he didn’t want me to think that he was only interested in sex. I was happy and appreciative. If you’re not sure about something just ask.

    • @shawntejaynes2626
      @shawntejaynes2626 3 роки тому +4

      I have a question not related to the video...it's in relation to having 4 dates in a month or so and living 2 hours away.....
      Do you all work mon-fri (only), I'm curious...thanks
      Kisses

    • @brittanymcdonaldbarr1106
      @brittanymcdonaldbarr1106 3 роки тому +18

      Yes. Let us grownups have an honest conversation.

    • @sundressjones4426
      @sundressjones4426 3 роки тому +9

      @@shawntejaynes2626 He works mon-fri and off on the weekends. I work primarily mon-fri but my schedule is very flexible because I work for myself.

    • @sundressjones4426
      @sundressjones4426 3 роки тому +10

      @@brittanymcdonaldbarr1106 yes, it’s so important. Instead of asking others, guessing and assuming or overthink which I’m an expert at.

    • @shawntejaynes2626
      @shawntejaynes2626 3 роки тому +6

      @@sundressjones4426 thanks, I'm going through long distance and the challenge is he works 6 days a week and I'm like you, flexible..... I was just curious as to how y'all pulling off dates every week ❤️...... Thanks 😘

  • @lindal.d.s.5954
    @lindal.d.s.5954 3 роки тому +1493

    As a single, Christian woman, I will definitely be glad to pay for my own dinner. I will not be intimate with a man I hardly know! That is reserved for my husband to be!! Absolutely No Exceptions!!

    • @bettyjohnson7457
      @bettyjohnson7457 3 роки тому +140

      I feel you and agree totally, if he can't feel and see that I care for him without having sex than he is not the one for me.
      Sex is ordained for marriage and I am gonna wait, take it or leave it.

    • @Savaya14173
      @Savaya14173 3 роки тому +92

      I'm not religious but I will only be intimate with my future husband if I get married.

    • @mirimercy975
      @mirimercy975 3 роки тому +10

      👌👌

    • @ladyzinada5341
      @ladyzinada5341 3 роки тому +66

      Exactly. I feel ya Linda. That's where I'm at, as a Christian woman. 6 yrs Abstinent November 22nd. 🤗

    • @tlc6756
      @tlc6756 3 роки тому +32

      Good for you and the other women here. God first.

  • @tanyataylor5310
    @tanyataylor5310 2 роки тому +187

    TALK IT OUT!!! COMMUNICATE!!! BE HONEST!!! HAVE INTEGRITY!!! This is what I wrong with dating. Stop tricking people into sex based off an empty promise of a relationship.🤦🏾‍♀️ Lies and liars make dating hard.

  • @moniqueliles3191
    @moniqueliles3191 3 роки тому +958

    This is another reason why people should just hang out and get to know each other. Men feeling used over a $20 meal is trivial in comparison to giving your body to someone to prove you are interested and getting messed up in paternity court. Men need to slow down and only date women that they have taken the time to get to know casually. Dating should be courting when looking for marriage. That eliminates all of the problems. If you go on a date with someone you already know casually it is obvious you are interested.

    • @SozoSeasonFreedom
      @SozoSeasonFreedom 3 роки тому +12

      Yes!!!

    • @ElizabethAmber81
      @ElizabethAmber81 3 роки тому +60

      👏👏👏
      This is what some would call an old fashioned perspective, but damn, it worked for a reason

    • @ashleynicole7255
      @ashleynicole7255 2 роки тому +5

      Great reply!!

    • @mesheepooh2278
      @mesheepooh2278 2 роки тому +13

      C'mon. Let's be realistic. It's not a $20 meal they're talking about. Don't diminish the experiences some men have had where they've spent a lot of time,, money and even emotions to entertain/get to know a woman, and she was really just playing him. It definitely happens.

    • @stacyjohnson9685
      @stacyjohnson9685 2 роки тому

      @@mesheepooh2278 NO MAN OR WOMAN should be HAVING SEX with ANYONE THEY DONT WANT A COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP WITH CHILDREN WITH, ISNT THAT EVIDENT TO YOU NOW?????? WHO CARES IF ONE SIDE GOT INVESTED THEY DONT OWE YOU THEIR WOMB FOR ANYTHING BUT TRUE LOVE AND COMMITMENT. SORRY GUYS YOU WANTED THIS!!!

  • @hollowplacesblog
    @hollowplacesblog 3 роки тому +461

    I don't want to have sex with a guy anybody could have. If he is making moves straight off (which they usually do unfortunately) that just tells me he is promiscuous and not careful of his health and his emotional health. I am just a number to that guy not a woman. The whole experience is unpleasant. Also, men can be violent and dangerous so it is better to keep distance and keep a slower pace until you know if you like him or not.

    • @dawnstonerock4253
      @dawnstonerock4253 3 роки тому +27

      I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS ANSWER!!!!

    • @deva190
      @deva190 3 роки тому +32

      I met an old classmate(his idea) for lunch and the conversation on his part quickly turned to sex. He talked about what he was going to do, blah, blah , blah. Actually, that was the furthest thing on my mind when he suggested we meet up. Initially I was shocked but later, after the shock wore off, I became annoyed.

    • @rsamuels6969
      @rsamuels6969 3 роки тому +10

      All 👏🏾 of 👏🏾 this!!

    • @p.s.706
      @p.s.706 3 роки тому +19

      I agree.Too much too soon I believe can ruin a potential great connection.Now the focus is the physical connection instead of the spiritual and intellectual connection.So that type of guy is not for me.

    • @memorieswithamber
      @memorieswithamber 3 роки тому +36

      Yes Ma'am. It's gross when u know they will screw anything that stands still long enough. Not me.

  • @kyrasworld2694
    @kyrasworld2694 2 роки тому +63

    Consistency and effort is the only thing I’m looking for before taking someone seriously.

  • @fatumaahmed4304
    @fatumaahmed4304 3 роки тому +271

    "not all men are build to see your value", this touched my core, I'm a working progress.

  • @Blazian2000
    @Blazian2000 3 роки тому +704

    Wow! Sexual chemistry does not equal connection, it means a deep level of sexual attraction. I am wow'ed! Thank you for sharing that!

  • @nappyfries
    @nappyfries 2 роки тому +265

    I needed this so much! I definitely internalize it when men only want sex or want sex too soon. I think that happens a lot with women who have experienced trauma.

    • @astridhahner
      @astridhahner 2 роки тому +5

      Yes and some of us end up feeling so used and retraumatized that we become asexual, period.

    • @irinaivanovic9792
      @irinaivanovic9792 2 роки тому +48

      SO TRUE. It definitely happened to me once, when I was much younger and didn't know any better. Men will say and do anything to make you believe they want something more and then before you know it you've been discarded like a piece of trash when you genuinely wanted something more. And because of that 1 single experience it left permanent trauma over being used. No matter how much therapy or books you can read to help, nothing will ever be able to turn back time and erase that moment that messed you up.
      NOTE: once you realize that men have sex with absolutely zero emotions or strings attached to a woman, you know what male nature TRULY IS. For me, I'm turned off by men. I have to actually work very hard nowadays to find myself attracted to any man. You just cannot trust them, period. They always have ulterior motives and speak lies.

    • @frankbobby1930
      @frankbobby1930 2 роки тому +1

      Hello

    • @champagnes5898
      @champagnes5898 2 роки тому +13

      @@irinaivanovic9792 yes..and when u let them no that ur hip to their games they gaslight u only to turn around and make what u said to be true..lol..they’re so annoying

    • @winning3329
      @winning3329 Рік тому +5

      ​@@irinaivanovic9792I read a couple of comments from some men here on UA-cam saying that they view s3x as a hand shake and that women need to stop making s3x into a big deal.
      These men are completely void of love and empathy.
      I screenshot those comment and I plan on writing a book to teach women the games men play.
      These men are not looking for wives they are only looking to use and in the rare occasions they will only commit to women their friends want to fak just to show off to them and they will treat those women terrible and cheat on them.
      Yes I have been turned completely off when I learned male nature.

  • @Mekia-hr8qh
    @Mekia-hr8qh 3 роки тому +934

    Some men are very basic. Just like some women are very basic. People don’t take the time to get to know each other. A lot of men handle all women the same and that’s a very big mistake. We are not all the same as Women. Some women have standards and morals and we aren’t sleeping with you I don’t care how many dinners you buy until the time is right . Men need to take the time to see what type of woman their dealing with. If she a easy woman cool do what y’all do with no expectations. But if you meet a woman who have standards, don’t dress revealing, her energy don’t give off I only want sex, her conversations are about commitment, and building something and no sex then you dealing with someone different therefore handle her with respect. At the end of the day A Man or Woman will treat you how you allow them. Let them know upfront what your intentions are with sex, that way each person have a choice to stay or go never let someone ASSUME anything when it comes to your body, mind, soul. Be mindful of what you do Men and Women. Great Video Stephan as Always. Have a Blessed Day

    • @MeetStephanSpeaks
      @MeetStephanSpeaks  3 роки тому +35

      ❤ 🙂 Thank you for watching, I appreciate your feedback and may you have a blessed day as well!

    • @strive09
      @strive09 3 роки тому +31

      💯 yes so true it is sad a lot of headaches can be avoided right on ✊

    • @yourrealtor_Danielle
      @yourrealtor_Danielle 3 роки тому +6

      💯💯.

    • @Mekia-hr8qh
      @Mekia-hr8qh 3 роки тому +87

      Absolutely! I mean it’s some really great men and women out there it’s just sad that we have to go through so much to come across them. I’m a firm believer that all the good men and women be in
      The house. We are not with the games and bs. The ones who are crazy, narcissistic, abuses, manipulators are the ones out on the scene hunting to devour. But I will say this if your a believer just have faith, trust in God. Continue to do right by people and heal and God will allow US to meet that person that will make us forget ALL the pain and hurt we have ever endured. Keep healing. Our time coming. Real Kings and Queens do Exist I will forever say that.

    • @amandak3512
      @amandak3512 3 роки тому +7

      Facts !

  • @gravityclarity
    @gravityclarity 3 роки тому +304

    It's testosterone. If a man truly respects you and wants you, he won't mind waiting and won't pressure you. I feel like this is a no-brainer.

    • @KshipsinKchups
      @KshipsinKchups 3 роки тому +9

      F testosterone

    • @cherrylane79
      @cherrylane79 3 роки тому +13

      Some people can't connect emotionally (or don't want to) and don't want to get to know the other person at all. It's not testosterone.
      Also women have needs, but they go hand in hand with the hormone levels. Most of the women want the emotional connection (to have feelings involved) first.

    • @evaphillips2102
      @evaphillips2102 2 роки тому +2

      Period. There’s no other valid explanation.

    • @iamahero3246
      @iamahero3246 2 роки тому

      if you love your man youll let him smash..

    • @thewraith5471
      @thewraith5471 2 роки тому

      I dont think you understand still niggaz get used so much it's easily mistaken the longer the wait the more likely she's using him...

  • @MariaCeaMIca
    @MariaCeaMIca 2 роки тому +40

    Here’s another reason why the man might be moving too fast towards having sex: he might be a NARCISSIST. It is part of a narcissist’s pattern of behavior to advance the ‘relationship’ quickly, to get you ‘trauma bonded’ during the love bombing phase. So once they have you ‘hooked’ (with sex being the best way to achieve that) then they can control & manipulate you much more easily.

    • @Bluesky-f2n
      @Bluesky-f2n 7 місяців тому +1

      Good point my ex was a narc. It happened exactly that way.

    • @fairlind
      @fairlind 5 місяців тому

      @@Bluesky-f2n I have a natural antipathy to grand gestures and excessive compliments, which has protected me from grandiose narcissists. I’m still working on not attracting covert narcissists…

  • @empressblessed86
    @empressblessed86 3 роки тому +268

    You can tell a man No! Several times with a straight face and he still tries it. (In open or closed doors) Then when you physically push him away then hes all acting shocked. And now he's in his feelings acting like the victim now wanting you to give sympathy. 🧐

    • @TT-th1gb
      @TT-th1gb 3 роки тому +35

      Bump that. Ditch that chump and seek your true King that respects your choices

    • @shakathewanderer9198
      @shakathewanderer9198 3 роки тому +49

      Pressure gets uncomfortable and you give in, and you resent them because they cant take NO for an answer.

    • @sparklesp9304
      @sparklesp9304 3 роки тому +22

      They don't respect you then.

    • @marleyhill34
      @marleyhill34 3 роки тому +19

      That's why Tony Gaskins say the first 12 weeks don't go anywhere private with them.

    • @MaiXoxo3
      @MaiXoxo3 3 роки тому +1

      Don't fall for that shit

  • @Lynnejordan1218
    @Lynnejordan1218 3 роки тому +308

    Seriously, the right man will not put pressure on the right woman for Sex........

  • @Drkelliediane
    @Drkelliediane 2 роки тому +15

    This all boils down to lack of communication or inadequate communication. Ladies, when dating, please communicate your boundaries on the first date or prior to the first date. If he doesn't agree, he isn't YOUR GUY. PERIOD‼️

  • @wansangoh4951
    @wansangoh4951 3 роки тому +118

    I will always make it clear that there is NO pre-marital sex as early as possible in the relationship. To me, emotional, spiritual & intellectual connections are much more important than physical.

  • @traillmark361
    @traillmark361 3 роки тому +499

    What's wrong with verbally communicating interest and intent? There are levels of intimacy more appropriate for dating than sexual intercourse.

    • @brendaturner6143
      @brendaturner6143 3 роки тому +7

      I know thats right

    • @tranquility9325
      @tranquility9325 3 роки тому +3

      Amen

    • @LLexem88
      @LLexem88 3 роки тому +8

      Exactly - Communicate verbally!

    • @Juniper122
      @Juniper122 3 роки тому +33

      PERIOD. it’s called being AN ADULT. And if you date another mature adult you don’t even have to listen to this nonsense.

    • @daniellamoreno3616
      @daniellamoreno3616 2 роки тому

      yes.
      I was just wishing men looks at her like beautiful gem instead let me spend money on her I expect sex maybe we do need to be upfront what the woman wants vs. man wants.

  • @rachelhudson4370
    @rachelhudson4370 Рік тому +21

    I won't go to a man's house or invite them to mine until I am ready to have sex. I have been in too many situations where I told the guy I was not ready for sex, they swear they aren't going to try anything and then they try to force themselves on me. Most men think that if you are at a place of residence that means that you are down for sex, no matter what your words say.

    • @miamonroe4195
      @miamonroe4195 Рік тому +4

      Yes happened to me with anyone I was interested it's horrible

    • @LaNoire27
      @LaNoire27 Рік тому

      Same.

  • @l.t.9659
    @l.t.9659 3 роки тому +396

    I definitely understand what you are saying Stephan. But one of the main problems men have in this department is speaking out of both sides of their necks. If some women then choose to sleep with the guy on the first night, there are many guys that will devalue that woman immediately. What do they expect? I think many men need to ask themselves what do they want? Do they really want a woman who is trying to respect her body or can they really respect that woman the next day if she does sleep with him? Most women are not trying to be evil and use a guy. Most women are battling religious views, decisions on sexuality, and overall self esteem from a society that confuses it all.

    • @kellyflex8039
      @kellyflex8039 3 роки тому +1

      I can connect you with someone who helped me attract my ex after the breakup. he can help you bring your ex back 👇👇👇👇👇..

    • @kellyflex8039
      @kellyflex8039 3 роки тому +4

      Send him a message that he can help you bring your ex back ❤️❤️

    • @dawnstonerock4253
      @dawnstonerock4253 3 роки тому +5

      Exactly!!!

    • @ecerizer
      @ecerizer 3 роки тому +23

      I think the very last thing u said is very powerful ! Society: what others will think?!!! that includes the men too!! they wanna have sex then they do not value you or they just fake it until they get it! i really dont understand this! As much as it suck its how it is! I mean as a woman -I just cant have fun?!! But men could?! This is not fair at all!

    • @kellyflex8039
      @kellyflex8039 3 роки тому +1

      @@ecerizer my dear all you need to do is for you to contact this powerful man he can help you out ok

  • @oco987
    @oco987 3 роки тому +229

    Given the rationale for the first point, I’d rather just pay for my food and drinks than have to deal with those sexual expectations. Paying for the food is a lot cheaper than trading my body. Many thanks

    • @lequitagarrett3584
      @lequitagarrett3584 3 роки тому +13

      @OCD...I totally agree! In my experience, even if you pay for your meal some men will still talk about sex within the first few dates or conversations. You can even have an agreement that you both will take turns paying and get the same results. I've never considered them being afraid to be played. Why would a man feel played if the woman is making an equal investment in dates and entertainment etc..

    • @LemansSunset350
      @LemansSunset350 3 роки тому +3

      100%

    • @AlyceSoFly
      @AlyceSoFly 3 роки тому +12

      @@lequitagarrett3584 seriously though… why did a guy I used to work with give me a ride home from work one day and asked me out on a date. He asked me how I felt about “going Dutch” at Dairy Queen. I politely declined. He proceeded to put his hand on my thigh and hint at going upstairs in my house with me. ????? Anyways. I laughed it off and never got in his car again.

    • @MsLotusBlooms
      @MsLotusBlooms 3 роки тому +2

      Absolutely!

    • @ashmarie617
      @ashmarie617 3 роки тому +9

      Absolutely agree. It’s like trading ones birthright for a bowl of porridge. No thank you!

  • @NiNiD80
    @NiNiD80 2 роки тому +251

    My guy & I have had undeniable sexual chemistry from the jump. It was pure 🔥 🔥 🔥 We talked for a month online, met in person, and after two dates we were going at it like rabbits 😅
    We’re STILL going strong almost a year later.
    Is this something I recommend for others? No. My advice would be to follow your intuition. Your intuition will NEVER lie to you.

    • @nelybe001
      @nelybe001 2 роки тому +21

      Same here 🤗🤗. Each relationship is different

    • @MEAT_BALL_ON_PAWS
      @MEAT_BALL_ON_PAWS 2 роки тому +10

      May I ask did he show you that he was serious about you prior to sex? Or did you not care if he was or wasn’t you just acted on the sexual chemistry?

    • @EtherealStar1
      @EtherealStar1 2 роки тому +3

      You go girl!!!

    • @sareythach758
      @sareythach758 2 роки тому +3

      Maturity at its best

    • @carolcaprio6490
      @carolcaprio6490 2 роки тому +8

      Same here. Follow your gut. You know when you are in the presence of a man who has bad intentions or a situation where there is strong mutual connection/chemistry. And Stephan, btw…it happened in the daytime lol. ❤

  • @Wonderwoman79G
    @Wonderwoman79G 3 роки тому +307

    Why do men fall into the stereotype of being focused on the physical early on dates then turn around and say they can't find any decent women ? Also, I will bring my purse to a date but if he asks to split the bill, I will pay however he will never see me again.

    • @rsamuels6969
      @rsamuels6969 3 роки тому +40

      All of this!

    • @sophrosyne5900
      @sophrosyne5900 3 роки тому +19

      Same ! 🎯👏

    • @nataliesimms3044
      @nataliesimms3044 3 роки тому +17

      Same!!!!

    • @aselyne5631
      @aselyne5631 3 роки тому +16

      Then that's called entitlement to a man's wallet so don't be surprised if he wants your body

    • @sophrosyne5900
      @sophrosyne5900 3 роки тому +53

      @@aselyne5631 No, it's not. Its setting the stage to respect yourself and be treated well . It goes both ways .

  • @elaibesummers906
    @elaibesummers906 3 роки тому +285

    To be honest if I had my life over again, my body would only be for the man I end up marrying, The last man I dated which was about 3years ago, I waited until 3 months. If the man cannot wait until a woman is ready, then makes me think that the man is only after one thing.

    • @dawnstonerock4253
      @dawnstonerock4253 3 роки тому +31

      I agree 💯 %. I did wait til marriage. But after divorce I made a few mistakes. I do regret it as they weren't serious at all. Ive been celibate for a long time and I don't regret it. I know I'm not the norm.

    • @elaibesummers906
      @elaibesummers906 3 роки тому +18

      @@dawnstonerock4253 I applaud you for going down the wait until marriage route. It is definitely not the norm these days. Sorry it ended in divorce. We all make mistakes. Wishing you all the best.

    • @dawnstonerock4253
      @dawnstonerock4253 3 роки тому +5

      @@elaibesummers906 thank you so very much!!

    • @Alimaway
      @Alimaway 3 роки тому +17

      I had 2 partners in my life. Second one we talked for almost 2 years before we met. We had good chemistry but we didnt even kiss til the 3rd date.

    • @elaibesummers906
      @elaibesummers906 3 роки тому +6

      @@Alimaway I really applaud you on this. You are unique. I doubt this happens a lot in today's society, however, clearly it still does with you as a great example.

  • @bigjay4862
    @bigjay4862 2 роки тому +79

    This is why communication is golden!🏆 After the 1st or 2nd date, The question "WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR IN A RELATIONSHIP?!" Needs to be asked! Also, without coming off too thirsty Light flirting is definitely necessary so that the woman won't think you're not interested! He has to let it be KNOWN that he is interested in taking things further and ultimately being intimate! Physically!
    I personally have been in all the above situations and from my experiences I've learned how to navigate through the dating game! Thank GOD I'm married now and don't have to go through that shizz anymore! LOL fortunately for us, it was ❤️ at first sight with me and my wife! (Something you spoke about in one of your videos!) Neither one of us had to work hard! it just flowed naturally and we been happily together since then!👑👑💍

    • @ineedhoez
      @ineedhoez Рік тому +4

      I ask that question before I go on the date. No sense in even meeting someone who isn't interested in being in a relationship.

  • @Fay1106
    @Fay1106 3 роки тому +364

    If a man needs me to pay half so he doesn't feel used, he not supposed to be dating periodt!

    • @jasminealexia
      @jasminealexia 3 роки тому +11

      💯🤣

    • @mercedeshair5488
      @mercedeshair5488 3 роки тому +25

      Say it louder for the people in the back

    • @tinamdobson
      @tinamdobson 3 роки тому

      Amen!

    • @LivingHabs
      @LivingHabs 3 роки тому +6

      Paying half is not a problem from the dating period. But when things get serious that is a different thing.

    • @auralay2497
      @auralay2497 3 роки тому +11

      That is no man but a manbaby

  • @vleah9871
    @vleah9871 3 роки тому +56

    These scenarios have one thing in common, lack of communication. What happened to communicating verbally to make it clear intentions, feelings,
    expectations, and boundaries? Open communication can prevent misunderstandings and unwanted behaviors...at least in most situations.

  • @anya3796
    @anya3796 2 роки тому +19

    You don't have to make a move to show you are serious. This is why communication is important, let the person know you are interested and serious and want to go slow.

    • @JB4C89
      @JB4C89 5 місяців тому

      This! And if they don’t want to go slow then it’s okay let them go in peace.

  • @VirtuousWoman1143
    @VirtuousWoman1143 3 роки тому +162

    Its Not Funny Because Some Men Have STDS THAT THEY WON'T TELL YOU ABOUT !!! WARN YOUR DAUGHTERS & GRANDDAUGHTERS !!!😭😭😭

    • @MeetStephanSpeaks
      @MeetStephanSpeaks  3 роки тому +15

      Absolutely!

    • @ladyzinada5341
      @ladyzinada5341 3 роки тому +8

      Sexually Transmitted Demons in the Blood too, not just in they peen, but some illnesses other than physical by health but by mental and can't handle having sexual PLEASURE 1 time. Guard your bodies ladies, MINDSET, SOUL and Spirits. Wake Up time.

    • @eleasedavis7108
      @eleasedavis7108 3 роки тому +7

      Exactly

    • @luxyluz2442
      @luxyluz2442 3 роки тому +1

      omggg? 😂😭😭😭

    • @finallyanaccount
      @finallyanaccount 2 роки тому +13

      Hide yo kids, hide yo wives!

  • @marjoriejonas8299
    @marjoriejonas8299 3 роки тому +202

    Woo, pursue then court, some may find this old fashioned however it shows sincerity - ladies take heed!

  • @karmicsoul4444
    @karmicsoul4444 2 роки тому +3

    'Ask him to whip it out real quick, take a look, check to see if it meets your standards & zip it back up' ...had me rolling......🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @memereal7807
    @memereal7807 3 роки тому +41

    Some men be thinking with the wrong head... Slow down and get to know the person instead of trying to jump into bed with them.

  • @janeyjenjen5972
    @janeyjenjen5972 3 роки тому +419

    Funny story here. I have this girlfriend who confessed that she hung out with her guy at his apartment, they even prayed to resist the temptation... But the thing eventually happened anyway! It's a thin line getting into that boundary. So if you (girl) have no intentions, do not create the environment/ambiance to even make the man conjure that idea into his head. No condemnation here, just saying...

    • @MeetStephanSpeaks
      @MeetStephanSpeaks  3 роки тому +27

      Thank your for sharing, it really helps when we embrace that!

    • @true4585
      @true4585 3 роки тому +49

      Bible says RUN from sexual sin. Like Joseph

    • @PinkJoy143
      @PinkJoy143 3 роки тому +8

      Period! Micheal Todd suggest only going out with other couples.

    • @bybyana26
      @bybyana26 3 роки тому +20

      Yeah but they conjure that idea sometimes on their own without creating that ambiance.

    • @vlynettemcnulty5102
      @vlynettemcnulty5102 3 роки тому +7

      So, CORRECT.
      But, so HARD to DO sometimes.
      😔😔

  • @ericaessentially4u
    @ericaessentially4u 2 роки тому +21

    I’ve recently started watching you videos….truly appreciate the simplicity, the humor & how relatable you make the conversation. You’re gifted❤️

  • @annekajordan6952
    @annekajordan6952 3 роки тому +93

    Hmm it’s funny how some men can’t seem to pick up on cues & signals (in a general sense) 🤷‍♀️ but when it comes to sex all of a sudden those very same men become superman & reading signals/cues left right & centre & even reading signals that aren’t even there! 🤔
    But you’re right it would be easier if men & women don’t put themselves in situations where it may send the wrong signal 🙂

    • @ajl577
      @ajl577 3 роки тому +4

      Lmfao all teleporting through hoops like the Olympics on crack 😂

  • @StayKrys
    @StayKrys 2 роки тому +45

    He did it today, he finally told me he had unprotected sex with someone else 6 months ago "once" during a break he initiated without saying it was a break up which he said today it was after 3 years of being in a relationship with me. There's more but it's too much to share. SMH, I am so hurt and done. DON'T be with a guy who believes in breaks. KICK him out your life today! Save yourself!

    • @Ace7of7Cups
      @Ace7of7Cups Рік тому

      They do that crap. No such thing as a break in a relationship. It's a means for a coward to have their cake and eat it too.

  • @ggjj999
    @ggjj999 3 роки тому +329

    Would save a lot of time and hurt if ppl would just talk about it and stop the mind reading.

  • @camille2281
    @camille2281 3 роки тому +98

    Great video; very enlightening 👏🏾
    It's unfortunate that so many men are not upfront about their intentions. I believe they lie to prevent women from exercising their options to see other men.

    • @amiwhite5514
      @amiwhite5514 2 роки тому +5

      Yes they absolutely do this!

  • @aplanefliesabove
    @aplanefliesabove 2 роки тому +19

    What gets me as a single woman, is some men take friendliness as flirtation. I enjoy being in the company of men. I am (pops collar) quite charming. It's easy for me to chat with most ppl. I love to smile and laugh and spread love thru conversation and humor. Yet, I am a woman not currently dating and haven't been intimate in 5 years. I am at ease around men, not rushed, not needing to be the center of attention. Yet, some men will press the gas when all I am doing is being friendly. Most of these men, I wouldn't let kiss my Big toe. Some ppl are good to talk to and that's about it!? Chatting with men allows me to get a glimpse of their inner workings. And a lot of these guys need so much help. I'm definitely a fish in the wrong pond, which is only 1 of the many reasons why I remain happily single. ✌🏽

    • @Ace7of7Cups
      @Ace7of7Cups Рік тому

      And God forbid you don't smile then they want to be in your business or have beef with you.

  • @pattylyons9645
    @pattylyons9645 3 роки тому +74

    Yes some women like to use men financially and emotionally, but the rest of us don't want to be treated like whores. That's not what dating is supposed to be. Some men are amenable to the idea of splitting the bill, but a lot of guys will still cover the first date. The problem for most women is that if he moves too fast, he comes off as disrespectful and just motivated sexually. Btw, women get friend zoned too and that's just as hurtful and discouraging.

    • @MeetStephanSpeaks
      @MeetStephanSpeaks  3 роки тому +5

      I feel you, it definitely isn't an easy situation but we need to focus on doing what is truly best!

  • @PinkJoy143
    @PinkJoy143 3 роки тому +536

    Women want it early too we just have to act like we don’t because men tend to devalue women when they give it up too soon. Women don’t want to be tossed into the “She’s 4 The Streets”, “Hit n Neva Call Back”, “Booty Call” category. However, women instantly know if they are going to give it up or not and men spend the entire date trying to figure it out. 😂 Y’all don’t want to get played and we don’t want to get played. So why is everyone playing games? 🤷🏽‍♀️ Very good content!

    • @MeetStephanSpeaks
      @MeetStephanSpeaks  3 роки тому +22

      ❤ 🙂 Thank you for watching, I appreciate your feedback!

    • @ajl577
      @ajl577 3 роки тому +16

      @mz. white you know it's funny you say this..this guy I REALLY liked and talked to for 4 mos, asked me out after a month of talking.... I didn't EVER dress provocatively or make ANY sexual comments, EXPLAINED point blank that I don't sleep with anyone I don't intend on having anything serious with and was looking for that....I talked ad nauseum about honesty as a core value. We finally got together and hung out at a condo as get away for us both. I EXPLAINED that this was NOT a sexual invitation and would be willing to remain at my home during the weekend so that we could get to know each other and that the ONLY expectation I had was to have a good time, clothes on. We AGREED. So when he threw disrespectful ho vibes on the 3rd day and wasn't affectionate, just tried to pull my pants down, I pulled back and questioned why he did that when we agreed....he said he thought that might be some reverse psychology....😐😐😐 At that point I did exactly what you did, I slept with him later that night because I knew right then that he was full of it.
      LO and BEHOLD after I told em to get lost because he acted like the douche he was masking, he been texting me ever since. I ignore and block but he just keep comin back like a bad penny. Finally I confront him a week ago and ask him why HE thought I slept with him and you know what this fool tells me 'Cause you felt sorry for me?'....😐 I said guess again and he says 'You liked me?' I said 'I did until you just tried to pull my pants down and act a ho'....🤨 so he asked 'why then?' And I said 'I didn't sleep with you so you'd stay around. I slept with you expecting I'd never see you again, I slept with you to expose who you really are'....his dumb ass was like this: 😦. Like who do you think you're dealing with? 🙄😒 Some of these jerks are so stupid.

    • @momminainteasy5710
      @momminainteasy5710 3 роки тому +7

      I agree 👍🏽

    • @PinkJoy143
      @PinkJoy143 3 роки тому +17

      @mz. white So true Sis! It’s difficult because you don’t want him to think “does she do this on every first date, is she for the streets”? It’s like no, I just want to be on your street, I want to drive all up and down that mf but I want a ring too so 😭😭😭😭 be good girl you know he be watching Kevin Samuels!! 😂😂😂😂

    • @PinkJoy143
      @PinkJoy143 3 роки тому +13

      @@ajl577 DAMN!!! Men we love y’all but understand the mental gymnastics we go through!! Authentically we desire to have a meaningful and beautiful friendship/specialship/relationship but end up playing a game trying to keep the ball in our court. It’s all fun if the game is tied but no one wants to loose in love. I’m just going in being myself, straight up asking for job qualifications and requirements. I’m completely honest, expressing my character defects, where I’m at, where I’m going, and what I’m working on. Then his turn. In that moment we’ll both know if we should just be friends or continue to pursue things. Real and to the point. I don’t want to waste his time nor mine. It’s a job interview, dating with purpose or let’s just stay at home. However even in that I don’t trust the sex on first date play. That’s harder to navigate because you can have the best evening, be on the same page, end the night with sex and get ghosted so I don’t know. There’s so much negativity we’re taking in dating has become much harder. There’s phenomenal black men and women out here though. It should be simple…go out, have fun, be honest, and keep it pushin. I can pay for the drinks you can pay for the food, tell each other what we want and don’t, make a choice. Right?

  • @karmicsoul4444
    @karmicsoul4444 2 роки тому +3

    "You guys aint test driving, you're joyriding'...followed by the Stephan 'laugh' cracks me up! 🤣🤣🤣

  • @stevienix4
    @stevienix4 3 роки тому +30

    Not making a move sexually, is not the same as not making your intentions known. If a woman doesn't know you're feeling her like that, it's because he hasn't made it known. A man doesn't have to get a woman in the bed to let her know he's interested in her romantically. Just communicate!

  • @kortiniamartin9682
    @kortiniamartin9682 3 роки тому +278

    When it comes to sex, men and woman have their own ideas 💡. That's why it's good for yall to be an open book 📖 with each other about needs and wants. It needs to be discussed Seriously. Sex can form soul ties, toxic relationships, or it could be great, healthy and fruitful.

    • @MeetStephanSpeaks
      @MeetStephanSpeaks  3 роки тому +21

      You're absolutely right!

    • @vanessaleriche
      @vanessaleriche 3 роки тому +7

      When sex forms soul ties, it automatically breakups the next relationship.

    • @kenishahammond3935
      @kenishahammond3935 3 роки тому +6

      You're speaking the truth!

    • @goldielox2382
      @goldielox2382 2 роки тому +2

      They don’t listen. They push for what they want and don’t care about it when you tell them don’t want to move too fast physically.

    • @kortiniamartin9682
      @kortiniamartin9682 2 роки тому

      @@goldielox2382 it's your body, if the person you are trying to bond with does not respect that then you have some choices to make. And don't think twice about it

  • @dwaconsulting1609
    @dwaconsulting1609 2 роки тому +134

    Man the other day I was at the gym and this guy I always speak to meaning say hello and good morning and very little small talk(I didn't even know his name til that day) asked me to have sex with him... That really hurt my feelings like damn do I look like that type of woman to just have random sex

    • @gabyyaby.9928
      @gabyyaby.9928 2 роки тому +4

      What did you say

    • @dwaconsulting1609
      @dwaconsulting1609 2 роки тому +15

      @@gabyyaby.9928 You funny for that question... Of course I said no

    • @girlblanime6302
      @girlblanime6302 2 роки тому +12

      @@dwaconsulting1609 she ment to say "how did you respond to him" due to his weird request.

    • @ephraimduke
      @ephraimduke 2 роки тому +7

      "do I look like that type of woman to just have random sex" well thats why he asked he was wondering the same thing 😂

    • @dwaconsulting1609
      @dwaconsulting1609 2 роки тому +3

      @@ephraimduke SMH 😂 real cute

  • @aaliyahyazmine5388
    @aaliyahyazmine5388 3 роки тому +12

    “Tell him to whip it out real quick take a look see if it meets your standards alright zip it back up keep it moving” got me weak fr 😂😂🤣😭

  • @Greatday2day
    @Greatday2day 3 роки тому +39

    @31:00 "Not very man is built to see your value" Well said!
    Some men are so used to dealing with low value women and or are low value men themselves that when they come across a high value woman, they use the same lines or acts that has worked for them for so long and just doesn't understand why its not working on you.

  • @melissabrzescinski494
    @melissabrzescinski494 2 роки тому +18

    My situation may or may not be common but I slept with my guy fairly early and since December we’ve seen each other every weekend plus some weeknights ever since. He texts me every day, face times me occasionally and has shared things with me that he’s never told anyone. I’m so happy. I’ve offered to bring dinner home for our Netflix and chill “dates” but he’ll take me out anyhow. It’s so refreshing and sweet. I really appreciate him. I’m falling for him.

    • @BkEmRainRose
      @BkEmRainRose 2 роки тому

      You may have fond true love…. Good luck 😊

    • @ciara6694
      @ciara6694 2 роки тому +1

      This also happened to me as well, and a year and 2 months later we are in the healthiest relationship. It's also long distance now. But im thankful that we both want to make it work so the effort is 50/50 -His family loves me, and everything is as it should. I think we are RARE cases. Haha! I wish you the best!! We even cut sex out for like a month and a half to MAKE SURE IT WASNT JUST THAT. Now it's long distance so not much of a choice. ☺

    • @girlblanime6302
      @girlblanime6302 2 роки тому

      That very rare and very risky for other,good for you but it does not work for everybody,majority of men are trash and only a small one are good one(the one you found) he was *ready for a relationship* and was not interested to play games that why

  • @iamnotyoursis8250
    @iamnotyoursis8250 3 роки тому +77

    If he gets to know her better he will figure out when its time to make his move.

  • @ra3043
    @ra3043 3 роки тому +54

    It is called communication, men need to learn to verbalize what they want and not assume. If the talk is never brought up that you want to be serious then thats mean we are open to see other people.

    • @MeetStephanSpeaks
      @MeetStephanSpeaks  3 роки тому +6

      Indeed, it really helps when we embrace that. Communication is definitely key!

  • @racheldebner1955
    @racheldebner1955 Рік тому +14

    I consider any intimacy without marriage to be a bad deal. If I have intimacy without commitment I feel played.

  • @erickakane1066
    @erickakane1066 3 роки тому +278

    This is EXACTLY why I don't mind paying for the next date... My body doesn't equate to ANY DINNER he paid for.....👎🏾

    • @amandak3512
      @amandak3512 3 роки тому +6

      Facts!

    • @estherkosick4700
      @estherkosick4700 3 роки тому +6

      True

    • @goldengodyse1685
      @goldengodyse1685 3 роки тому +45

      A real men ain't tripping on no dinner.If he cant afford the date fall back and quit asking women out.If you seek her out then cry about dinner to me he on bs.

    • @ymramos6035
      @ymramos6035 3 роки тому +5

      Amen!!!! I'll pay for myself, thank you very much.

    • @laurawilliams4087
      @laurawilliams4087 3 роки тому +37

      if he doesn't want to pay for the date it shows he's not a good provider

  • @yourfutureisnow6480
    @yourfutureisnow6480 3 роки тому +45

    I've been single for the longest time because of it. I just can't. It's a turnoff and I don't respect men like this.

  • @Silversiren-d1b
    @Silversiren-d1b 2 роки тому +19

    Thank you for sharing this content. A man who becomes too sexually active too early can be affected by unresolved issues from their upbringing. In contrast, men learn sex on the streets, whereas gentlemen learn sex from their positive values. I had my share of men before choosing celibacy until marriage, so please do not misunderstand me. I was celibate because I had no lovers or serious relationships. Men will end up alone or in the friendzone if they don't learn how to use their brains at some point. I'm tired of the toxic masculinity rhetoric. In time, men complained that women were materialistic because all they want is sex.

  • @peachesncreamy9653
    @peachesncreamy9653 3 роки тому +133

    If the man asks the female on a date, he should pay. How's that using him if he's the one constantly asking the female out?

    • @tenofcups2142
      @tenofcups2142 3 роки тому +4

      Constantly asking her out means she constantly saying no. Why can’t she just be mature and tell him she not interested or block him

    • @geminilady11
      @geminilady11 3 роки тому +35

      @@tenofcups2142 if she keeps saying no that is being mature and telling him that she's not interested. What more of an explanation do you need no means no simple as that

    • @KshipsinKchups
      @KshipsinKchups 3 роки тому +1

      Ikr

    • @RH-ul2bc
      @RH-ul2bc 3 роки тому

      Some women go for the free meal or whatever. That's using someone. Not being genuinely interested in him. Who wants to be used like that or used because the woman has nothing better going on, she goes. Smh.

    • @auralay2497
      @auralay2497 3 роки тому +3

      @@RH-ul2bc Same goed for.fells.who.only go for the one.night stand... Tit for tat bud.

  • @zurigee6
    @zurigee6 3 роки тому +83

    Oh hell no! No woman should prove her sincerety with intimacy, physical and emotional.

    • @jodasjones67
      @jodasjones67 3 роки тому

      Just like No Man don't have to Prove himself by Being Respectful, Chivalrous, with Protection Nor Provision. Goes Both Ways.

    • @zurigee6
      @zurigee6 3 роки тому +3

      Two different things, to get a woman with standards,as a mom of three men, it would be good to have those qualities. Giving sex is not an exchange to for what you mentioned. Regarding providing for, that's up to two individuals. Many women are not looking nor need a man to financially take care of them.

  • @fennynickie5731
    @fennynickie5731 Рік тому

    I like how you always make it clear that people are different and that it's your perception and how you personally view things

  • @ILonggasaAmerica2024
    @ILonggasaAmerica2024 3 роки тому +135

    Just tell a man upfront u want marriage 1st and see him run the marathon.

    • @vanessaleriche
      @vanessaleriche 3 роки тому +7

      Right! Lol

    • @MsLotusBlooms
      @MsLotusBlooms 3 роки тому +15

      Or they'll try to push sex much too soon, because they think you're desperate for marriage.

    • @maryhudson8531
      @maryhudson8531 2 роки тому +4

      😂very true

    • @tanyataylor5310
      @tanyataylor5310 2 роки тому +1

      EXACTLY!!!

    • @tanyataylor5310
      @tanyataylor5310 2 роки тому +14

      ​@@MsLotusBlooms then trick a woman into sex based on an empty promise. I had a friend try me after we had sex for the first time he saw me as the marrying kind....and started talking about marriage. I knew he wasn't serious and that is what hurt me more. Do not dangle marriage in my face. I have already been married before. I want a happy loving marriage. I want the man to marry me simply because he loves God and me, for no other reason.

  • @1992bosslady
    @1992bosslady 3 роки тому +86

    This video came right on time! I’ve had this issue recently while dating and I’ve always wondered why men rush into sex so quickly. This was truly helpful. Thanks so much Stephan! ❤️

    • @MeetStephanSpeaks
      @MeetStephanSpeaks  3 роки тому +7

      I'm happy this has been helpful to you be sure to share so that others can receive love and healing!

  • @brandyellenmoore
    @brandyellenmoore Рік тому +7

    This is why you take the time to get to know each other first before you have dates

  • @dsmith9709
    @dsmith9709 3 роки тому +41

    Maybe people should meet at the buffet on a Friday evening. Each person pay for their own meal. You both talk during the meal then each go their separate ways at the end. No expectations no obligations. Get to know each other this way or at the end of dinner go for a walk in the park or on the beach each person drive themselves there. Then each go their separate ways. at the end. If you enjoy each other's company next time Go on a picnic. Let him pick up the food or drinks ( no alcohol ) Each drive themselves there. Get in your own car at the end , no meeting at his place or yours. Always pick a place where you can go for a walk after dinner.

    • @amukoamercy1172
      @amukoamercy1172 2 роки тому +2

      If he invites me out, that's my precious time he's using or wasting, so that he has to pay for the dinner coz I'm worth the moment, and that doesn't mean he's buying me sexually

    • @kidbu916
      @kidbu916 2 роки тому

      Logically this makes sense but women are the ones who don't want to get on board with this. A lot of women both want to be wined and dined, while also not having sex until some undisclosed time if it ever happens. THAT is what frustrates men. Just as women are frustrated with men's fascination with sex.

    • @kidbu916
      @kidbu916 2 роки тому

      @@amukoamercy1172 you do realize his time is precious too right?

    • @ineedhoez
      @ineedhoez Рік тому

      😂😂😂😂. I don't date brokies. A buffet? That's disgusting. Food sitting out all day. Everyone's hands touching the utensils.

  • @lovelyandall1
    @lovelyandall1 3 роки тому +16

    I see many disregarding what he’s saying, but all of it is true honestly. I think as women we have a hard time digesting things. We ask for answers to questions and soon as they’re given we turn them down because of our experiences and what we “feel”. Sometimes we have to take emotion out of the picture and just listen.

  • @pcarebear1
    @pcarebear1 Рік тому +10

    The friendzone definitely resonated with me. I have been on the survival grind from my teens to 30 (at 35 I can finally breathe :) But I never thought I was attractive because no one (aside from the crazy guy outside the Metro) would approach me. Years later I would find out someone had a crush on me (high school, college, etc.) and I was totally clueless. I can understand guys being very nervous to approach someone, but if you don't verbally let someone know your intentions they can't read your mind. Then again, I recognize I can be oblivious and it's hard to know if someone is interested (body language, etc.)

  • @franwilds145
    @franwilds145 3 роки тому +38

    LMAO at whip it out real quick!😅
    It's funny that this video came up today b/c I just came home from a first date & the physical attraction was crazy! That coupled with great conversation - I can tell I'm going to have to be extra cautious with him so that we don't move into a sexual relationship too quickly. Keep dates in public places & not at each other's houses.

    • @Tigerlily1963
      @Tigerlily1963 Рік тому

      Same happened to me. On second date went by to his was clear but it still went awkward when I said no to full sex. 20:05

    • @ineedhoez
      @ineedhoez Рік тому

      Feel free to let him know

    • @Carmen-us1ew
      @Carmen-us1ew Рік тому

      ​@@ineedhoez interesting name you got there!!

  • @DrSallyB
    @DrSallyB 3 роки тому +50

    This is why the Egyptian "Salon Marriage" ends up with no booty calls, no "friend-zone," no pregnancies outside of weddingness, and (traditionally) very little divorce; that said, once people started "dating," the relationships were just as unstable as in USA, for example.
    I appreciate your videos that promote self-respect in women, brother Stephan, and I appreciate you! Brightest blessings to you and yours :)
    Sally "Thine Maker Is Thy Husband" B.
    :)

  • @urainaheyward190
    @urainaheyward190 2 роки тому +1

    Your conversations are so incredible. I'm coming across so many men trying to give advice like you do... They're "ok", but you're truly the best and I keep coming back to you, and I subscribe to you. And you're funny as hell too. You're smart and you're a "Master" at what you do.

  • @nikkibelton2109
    @nikkibelton2109 3 роки тому +47

    Love the quote and the end of the video,"compatibility is ova rated, but unity is the key because it means we are together "❤

  • @nolajytacct
    @nolajytacct 3 роки тому +72

    Who else is tickled by the fact that Stephan watches Family Guy?

    • @MeetStephanSpeaks
      @MeetStephanSpeaks  3 роки тому +13

      Lol 😂 😁

    • @kristyhigh7431
      @kristyhigh7431 3 роки тому +4

      I knew the episode he referred to lol. Love that show!

    • @nolajytacct
      @nolajytacct 3 роки тому +8

      @@kristyhigh7431 I hollered when he was trying to explain because most people are like "what are you watching" when you talk about the show.

    • @iivasmith1163
      @iivasmith1163 3 роки тому +3

      I watch family guy at the gym on the cardio equipment...its so funny. Everyone is laughing at me cracking up at the witty, hilarious naughty at times animated show.

    • @ZumbawithEshmayah
      @ZumbawithEshmayah 3 роки тому +2

      That's where I'm stuck!! 😅

  • @magical.melody674
    @magical.melody674 2 роки тому +23

    I’ve always wondered this. Literally every man I’ve dated except my husband,( & he was even a bit early) have wanted sex right away. Or wanted naked pictures etc. I have walked away feeling used and taken advantage of by most of them. It’s like all they want is sex.

  • @Taisha12001
    @Taisha12001 3 роки тому +47

    You can make a move without being sexual aggressive. Start off slow by holding hands, holding, etc.

    • @ms.evegene
      @ms.evegene 3 роки тому +5

      Do they even know how ?

    • @quovaundajefferson7000
      @quovaundajefferson7000 2 роки тому +10

      Yes! That is what I was thinking! Why does making a move have to be sexual? Why can't making a move just be declaring that he is interested in a relationship?

  • @Nicolemoss_
    @Nicolemoss_ 3 роки тому +102

    I hear everything he's saying, but I feel like men also need to understand women. With some of these examples the mistakes were so obvious.. the men were either giving the women nothing at all or way too much...there was no inbetween. So obviously the woman will think they're either not interested or they're too horny. Men can also just communicate to make things clear or avoid dissapointment, its not hard.

    • @fendismom
      @fendismom 3 роки тому +2

      💯

    • @RellayNetwork
      @RellayNetwork 3 роки тому +7

      True: Everything in life does require a balance. But it takes two people to meet in the middle. If he realizes he's doing all the Initiating then its over. Its not a man's job to understand a woman's wants its only his job to give what she needs.

    • @atlantasfaithsmom
      @atlantasfaithsmom 3 роки тому +1

      That's basically what I said. Nobody seemed to like my comment! Lol

    • @fendismom
      @fendismom 3 роки тому +4

      What's hard is men have several reasons they refuse to communicate 🤔

    • @Nicolemoss_
      @Nicolemoss_ 3 роки тому +3

      @@fendismom lol it's ridiculous

  • @emmy2831
    @emmy2831 2 роки тому +16

    Why not just communicate your feelings? It's always worked in my relationships 🤷🏼‍♀️
    An "I have feelings for you but want to take my time with intimacy" goes a long way.

  • @sheldonald528
    @sheldonald528 3 роки тому +9

    All of these reasons is why I make my intentions clear from the start. I never put myself in stupid situations and I have the intentions conversation EARLY! Ur absolutely right, I have breakfast, brunch and lunch dates.

  • @MissJennifer8
    @MissJennifer8 3 роки тому +61

    As a Christian woman, I find that these dudes want the benefits of biblical womanhood without the convictions of sin and obligations of biblical manhood. Christian enough to submit and be modest, gentle, kind, soft, and giving. But not Christian enough to be held accountable when they dishonor God and deviate away from Godly principles. James 1:8 "A doubleminded man (woman too) is unstable in all his ways." The reason why scripture says" Guard your heart for the issues of life pour from it" because God is love and you can't truly have healthy love without having the love and protection from the most high! Without that you become an open vessel for people to pour toxcity into.

    • @xbabygirltx
      @xbabygirltx 3 роки тому +4

      Talk about it! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

    • @maryrice5873
      @maryrice5873 3 роки тому +5

      PREACH NOW DANG IT RIGHT NOW🤣

    • @CoachTee.
      @CoachTee. 3 роки тому +6

      Thank you for that good preaching! The spirit moved me just by reading your post. 🙏🏼♥️👍🏼

    • @ladyzinada5341
      @ladyzinada5341 3 роки тому +1

      Whewwwee. You bout to make me throw my shoe at the choir sis, good teaching. 🤔🤨🥴

    • @lizh1970
      @lizh1970 2 роки тому

      The god of the bible states over 200 times he is a man of war . If its yahweh you speak of he is the god of war and fertility . Therefore I don't know what part of the bible you have cherry picked , the elohim plural for gods , I am aware of who they are also. Bit hypocritical when the consort of Adad is attar gattis associated with sexual desire and war also . ATTAR is venus by the way read the history of yahweh and his ashera . Elah or loh or lah means cresent , and the word helel means cresent , the Egyptian djahuty , Jahud , is another name for Abraham who was called Djahuty in egypt . Yahweh, marduk baal hadad the god of the Persian cyrus was the god who liberated the Jews. Eyah ashur eyah an ashur is a tree and an ashur is the name of the dog star sirius , El . You ain't got a clue and you speak morality . Look at your bible you'll see reshep was in Yahwehs entourage , Reshep is Mars . Lol

  • @ritanooney865
    @ritanooney865 2 роки тому +15

    not making the move......if they rush us, they're wrong for doing so and should be held accountable, it's not our problem if they're worried about being put in the friend zone or whatever their insecurity is.

  • @Fancyface16602
    @Fancyface16602 3 роки тому +12

    They need to openly talk about what they want from each other.

  • @lexcorp2013
    @lexcorp2013 3 роки тому +30

    I am an advocate of checking the goods ( quality control) and not having sex, and some people look at me like I'm crazy! Thank you for mentioning this method, it never fails.

    • @klickingkayasmr7585
      @klickingkayasmr7585 3 роки тому

      Wait-I didn’t finish the video--can you explain your point? (I think my sister and I have talked about that, but I wanna make sure I understand your point)..

    • @lexcorp2013
      @lexcorp2013 3 роки тому +4

      @@klickingkayasmr7585 Stephan was advocating just looking at a man's reproductive organ to see if it is too your liking and not having sexual relations with him. I'm saying that I have done this in the past and it never fails.

    • @klickingkayasmr7585
      @klickingkayasmr7585 3 роки тому +1

      @@lexcorp2013 Ohh yes. Thank you. I agree.
      (Lord forgive me) haha 😂🎯

    • @privatepo5876
      @privatepo5876 2 роки тому +4

      ❤️ this comment! There’s a level of satisfaction we also need. Stephan laughing, but it’s a a prerequisite for some of us. 🤷🏽‍♀️
      I’m gonna have to steal the term “quality control “.

    • @wshelby83
      @wshelby83 2 роки тому

      @@lexcorp2013 how long did you wait to bring this up? How could one go about checking?

  • @Rose-nw9mg
    @Rose-nw9mg 2 роки тому +10

    The story about the girl meeting up with the roommate and denying him access. Many times woman do have the thought about sex when meeting up with a guy and know it could possibly happen, but then we may start to rethink giving in because we don’t want to feel used or we may not feel comfortable yet. If we don’t feel too comfortable, we’ll deny that access. Doesn’t mean she wasn’t thinking about it prior, but realized she wasn’t feeling it with him.

  • @harrywatkins8194
    @harrywatkins8194 3 роки тому +39

    Sometimes I can't get over this ish. Women don't owe you sex for taking them on a date. If you don't want to get "played", split the first date 50/50. She gave you her time, she doesn't have to follow it up with sex and if she doesn't want sex after spending time with you, that's her choice - that's the REASON she wanted to spend time with you - to decide. Not to PLAY you.
    "WHAT OTHER INVESTMENT IS SHE MAKING?!?" her time, the same as the guy.
    * no disrespect to the creator - this is more aimed at men's mindsets than the messenger

    • @jmallett6081
      @jmallett6081 Рік тому +3

      Good observation. I was asking an older man why men in his generation didn't try to bed a female on the first date, knowing he paid for the date. The response was that men dated women as an investment to find someone who would be a life partner with being a wife and having sex hopefully for long term. Men today do not value the investment, rather look at the money they spend as a means to an end, and even worse, they want sex after they go dutch or even if she pays the whole thing. It is all about how much he can get for as little as possible, even if he invests nothing at all. Men are now in the hook up generation which is really sad to see, and believe me there will be a lot of hurt and damage to people as a result of this mentality.

    • @Ace7of7Cups
      @Ace7of7Cups Рік тому +1

      And why I don't like men paying for me if I just met them. I can pay for my own. Shoot being a woman doesn't mean we can't take care of own. We're not children. I don't need your 20$ 40 meal ticket. I already got one demanding man in my life. My dad. Don't need another.

    • @mrconfusion87
      @mrconfusion87 Рік тому

      ​​@@jmallett6081Considering how tough daily life is and how shitty the economy is with high inflation, you can't fault us for wanting to get as much bang for buck as possible - and if we can freeload and get freebies, we certainly will grab it without hesitation (and that includes no strings attached sex)! 🤣🤣🤣

    • @jmallett6081
      @jmallett6081 Рік тому

      @@mrconfusion87 Only someone who is lied to or has no self esteem would value that point of view. Yes, the world is hard, yet at least make an effort to be someone who tries not to be the lowest common denominator.

  • @sergineciterme88
    @sergineciterme88 3 роки тому +25

    I’ve been watching your videos for some time. I think all of your content is great. This video right here put so much into perspective. It came on time for me, seriously! Choosing “to wait” and dating again has me questioning myself about how men may value me and how to set healthy boundaries. I appreciate you explaining why we shouldn’t internalize what they’re doing. Thank you for this!

  • @dianaflorea952
    @dianaflorea952 2 роки тому +1

    Ahahahahahahha the way you’re explaining Family Guy & laughing, you’re hilarious I love u. One of the best UA-cam channels hands down

  • @mizstrickland
    @mizstrickland 3 роки тому +31

    Always on time when I need to hear you 🙌🏼

  • @alexishill3342
    @alexishill3342 3 роки тому +57

    Why do men simply not communicate upfront about their intentions? Why did your friend tell YOU he wanted to restrain himself because he liked the woman instead of telling her???
    This is so baffling to me. If a man told me these things up front I would take him seriously and most likely honor his request.
    It feels like men view us like a mean and unapproachable people who need to be manipulated to be decent toward them.🤔🤔

    • @ChialukaGold
      @ChialukaGold 3 роки тому +6

      Seems like it

    • @stacyjohnson9685
      @stacyjohnson9685 2 роки тому

      EXACTLY

    • @girlblanime6302
      @girlblanime6302 2 роки тому +1

      come on ladies...i'm a women but this comment it killing me, THEY WILL NEVER TELL CAUSE THEY WANT SEX! they know we will walk away when we hear them say it ,that why they lie...

    • @ineedhoez
      @ineedhoez Рік тому

      It's because they're insecure. They have insecure attachments and don't know how to get their needs met through open, honest, and direct communication.

  • @nvko86
    @nvko86 2 роки тому +1

    "What if he's too small" hahahaha. I swear in every video I've watched of yours there is always one point where I literally laugh out loud. Love it!

  • @zanastrange1878
    @zanastrange1878 3 роки тому +27

    I think open communication and healthy boundaries at all times is a must to avoid awkward monuments.

  • @TristanPR77
    @TristanPR77 3 роки тому +135

    So... non of the reasons to have sex are about love 🤦. Then we dare to ask why relationships don't last or are shallow.

    • @CestCrochetChannel
      @CestCrochetChannel 3 роки тому +8

      Most underrated comment👑

    • @auralay2497
      @auralay2497 3 роки тому +3

      Y'all fellas made it so that you're not worth the investment. Cheap D1ck Carousel seats aren't bf/hubby material, yet most of y'all think otherwise. You get what you dish out so no right to be mad 🤣

    • @tranquility9325
      @tranquility9325 3 роки тому +1

      Exactly

    • @kelleypopkowski1789
      @kelleypopkowski1789 2 роки тому

      Amen

    • @kidbu916
      @kidbu916 2 роки тому

      @@auralay2497 I would wager that it is women who chose to break down these lines first through the sexual revolution.

  • @lauriemayer6312
    @lauriemayer6312 2 роки тому +2

    I give you credit, Stephan… you make more sense then some other so-called “dating coaches” who are men.

  • @LadyGMM
    @LadyGMM 3 роки тому +20

    Excellent video! Thank you for continuing to confirm that I have learned the tough lessons and I'm much more wiser.