I prayed to God to protect me from my enemies. Suddenly I began losing all my friends. Dont bother trips to reclaim people who don't value you. Learn to live without them!!
Now you did it 😂...God is going to start protecting you from all manner of things...some, you may not even realize, but God does. I will pray for you! Good news, you will have a bunch of wonderful Godly ppl, places, things as you bend to His will. Hang in, and READ YOUR BIBLE 😊
@@theresister5120This is the reason I clicked on this. My adult children do not value me. Or take a interest in what is going on with me. I cannot talk about myself. Just what’s going on with them. Never coming over for a visit, or helping me with a task . I pitch in when I visit them, laundry,doing dishes,running the grandkids to sporting events. Crickets 🦗 coming back around.
Naa careful, it's showing negligence, which is a huge character flaw.... Many are like this, relationship coaches teach it too... Probably why so many lack proper emotional intelligence and communication skills
It works! And, after a short time you feel a wonderful peace. It’s not that I don’t love said person(s) anymore, but it’s exhausting and I realized if I don’t take care of me, no one else is going to and that’s empowering! It gives you more time to pray and opens you up in a good way so you can start to develop a quiet strength!
This is so true! Christian folks I expected to be friendly and kind were nothing of the sort. I ditched them. On one occasion a person came back to me - I accepted it, but my closeness towards her is not what it was, I just don't know how genuine it is. Be kind, be friendly, but don't share too much of yourself with them.
It is a poor choice of word but how can anyone be valued, who does not value themself? Only a dreamer or a very fortunate person rests in the assumption that a relationship does not need to be worked on or worked for and there is nothing new in “absence makes the heart grow fonder”.
When you have a toxic (negative) brother, sister, sorry, you can not always go away.... You have to stay in official occasions (even if you don't wants to be there. We can't "always go away" at work, in our family, etc. It's common sens, like you say ...
We all have the illusion of what we deserve our world is predicated upon it, our ego how it 'should be' the sub-conscious our internal view of the world around us or I prefer the inner child, of six to 9 years old of making sense of who we are and how we fit in with the world. You are you you don't need friends to validate your existence or make you feel less than, accept what has happened, good things come, good things go. Change is inevitable a course correction because you are making space for more good to come into your life-You'll see!
I don't want to seem rude but it's better to walk and not look back and when you are successful with out them don't rub it in just be modest and keep moving.
I now see that I have wanted so badly to be included and liked that I allowed people to take advantage of me. No more. I am hurt and feel betrayed as I reflect on this truth, but I think others, like me, have experienced the same.
I agree 100% I've used it and it always works in fact I'm happier now than before. Most of the people don't know their own worth, they need others to measure their worth and that's why it never gets measured to the fullest. Once you yourself know your worth you will be emancipated, you'll be lighter and happier and would need not others to measure your worth. I say i'd rather have no friends than crappy friends. Those who leave you, it's their loss not yours.
I value myself and that is all that matters to me. I have no control over what people think of me but i have control over what I think of myself. All the people worth knowing will like me and the rest don't matter.
But as you get older, us introverts have to consider who will take care of us when we get sick, need surgery….. By all means, never settle but we will need someone as we get older and our health declines.
In my experience, introverts get a bad rap. I am an introvert myself, but messages I keep getting in society is that extraverts are more interesting and introverts are boring. What a load of bull. I went on a drama course when I was a teenager, because I was interested in a career in acting. Sure, I was shy then, but I thought I'd be playing characters who are different to me so does it matter? According to the people both teachers and student, I was too introverted for an acting career. I was even picked on for it. Needless to say, after 2 terms, I left. But it was not just the drama college, it has been my experience in various settings that introverted people are boring. What about all the extraverts who have bored me to death. Not all of them, but enough of them to explode the myth!
Informative video. My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let him go i did all i could to get him back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring him back
Please see a genuine, certified therapist to help you. It was very helpful to me. It was great to unload on someone, and to look at it from a different perspective .
"if you love someone/something, let it go; if it comes back to you, it is yours. If it doesn't, it has never been yours" Kalil Gibran. I've lived my life according to this motto and I can testify that it's absolutely true. I've had and I still have wonderful people in my life because I gave them space... and they choose to stay and bring so much value in my life ...
That worked for me as well until I became disabled and couldn’t do the things I had done in the past. That’s when I discovered who my real family and friends were. When I no longer had the money to fund what my children wanted, surprise! They suddenly didn’t need or want me anymore. My friends stopped calling because I couldn’t afford expensive trips or activities. Not so much as a text message from two of my three lifelong “friends” of 50 years. One kindly texts me twice a year- for my birthday and Christmas. I dutifully text back. I assume it makes her feel better as a person to know that she hasn’t forgotten me. I live 20 minutes from her.
@@merk9569so sorry to hear this. It’s quite surprising isn’t it - you really would think your friends family would check on you more than before, not less. You sound a strong person.
My chawi grandma full of wisdom ( a berber of east algeria ) used to say : welcome to who’s come and double welcome to who’s leave ! It took me 45 years to understand the depth of that sentence!
So true, I was in a 15 year relationship and dealing with a family member’s terminal illness. My partner who lived out of town, never once asked how I was doing or how my family member was doing. Never cared. He had moved on from me. I tried to save the relationship because I didn’t want to start over. The more I pushed, the more he pulled back. I realized he had checked out when he chose to go fishing with his son rather than stay with me after my family member’s memorial service. How demoralizing. Then he was to come down for my birthday but didn’t. The last text from him, I didn’t respond. He never text me again and I never texted him. I am at a new place now and ready to move on and find me a partner to share my life with. I wish him well; but not too well….
Sounds like a piece of shit you had. Sorry for the loss of your loved one. Mine was no better. I look forward to you commenting more sooner than later that you've met the one
This is very true what he is saying. People get dependent on you and don’t care how they treat you. Stop the nonsense and move on, you will find life is much better.
Not really, she was narcisstic. Our friendship was too controlling b her; always ringing me up etc. no space between. Madness. Should be space for each to grow and have time for other friends, my own time to pursue my own inetests.
In the last job interview I had I said I don't mind helping others but I don't like being taken for granted, I did get the job and there were times I had to stick to my values. I still do it now, I enjoy being able to help others if I can but I will step back if I feel put on.
My mother didn't really value me.... I was just the opposite of her..... I went away ( in another country ) and she remained behind and died lonely ....I am very sad when I think about that...😢
@@Ulysses88047shame on both that lacked communication skills.. My stepmother doesn't really even try and was cruel and hurtful a lot.... Always favoured her 'Real daughter ' so very 'Cinderella vibes'
I am currently experiencing this sad truth with someone I've known for over 20 years. In short, over the years it became a one way relationship where I was always the giving one. The last straw came when she was once again apologizing for something she continuously does and something in me changed. I have ghosted tf out of her and haven't looked back. She is now texting me every day and I have ignored them and I feel good about doing it. This video confirmed what I was already doing was the correct course and I'm feeling excellent!!!
I can relate to this , I recently lost confidence, couldn’t sleep and felt every thing falling away , family , job etc etc then one day bingo I started believing with help from my sons interaction, feed the brain 🙏🏻
there's a book called whispers of manifestation on borlest , and it talks about how using some secret tehniques you can attract almost everything in life it's not some bullshit law of attraction, it's the real deal
When I was younger, my Mom would tell me, "Son, you need to quit helping all these people and help yourself.". It was only in my early 40`s that I began to realize how true her words were. Those people who I helped were never around, or had time, to help me when I needed a hand at something. Because I am, or was, very intelligent and learned to do many things well, I was in demand when people needed help with something. It took some time, but I began to shed those who, in the words of another friend, were "takers" and not "givers". Now at 70, I have been at peace for 20 yrs. I have my cats, my machine/fabrication shop all to myself. I am content with my life. My phone may ring once in two weeks now. I do have one friend that I can depend upon.
@@bmarciasedibe7533 I hear you . Becoming wiser now after learning my lessons. Went out of the way to help people when needed . Inthe end , I was betrayed and abandoned and brutally cheated . My health suffered . Lesson : Don't trust everybody . Most of the people are users, misusers and abusers . Being too kind and trusting is dangerous in this era.
I broke a 40 year relationship and I'm not sorry. This says two things about me - I'm really dumb or I'm really patient. I think I was dumb. Have received Christmas message from her. I choose not to reconnect. So yes I agree. Best to step back. Create space. And then be honest with yourself.
Key words :1 step away 2. Focus on yourself 3. Let them make the first move always by reaching out to you 4. If they don't reach out to you, they weren't meant to be in your life and you just saved a lot a energy by moving on😊
It's not always the case of being divalued ..often it has more to do with different frequencies of soul growth and also levels. Putting to much pressure onto a relationship is not a good thing. Some people need more space than others. Thank you for this message 💗
I like that, definitely agree, frequency/vibration is the crux.. you either chime together or you don't..we all want to lift our vibration higher, disrespect then being hurt lowers our vibration and robs us of joy, confidence etc
If someone tries to put me down, then it's my own decision ..if I'm going to believe it or not and in truth ..the other person is aktually talking about them- selves.
Thanks, my ex came back for the 3rd time and left me again due to trust issues... Ima doing the same, now let's see what happens.. currently focusing on my competitive examinations... God is with me my mom dad is with me, that's enough! ❤️
@@Laflower60 sadly same! Save your sanity... I have a case of my son (my only child). I reach out to him via txt, he doesn't respond in weeks. Why chase? I lost my health, finances, my self... all to protect him from his abusive father, and I got the "extension" of his father's personality in him. My health took a nosedive, that my physicians and specialists said I can choose myself/my health, or continue chasing him and his narcisiatic personality until grave swalows me much sooner than it should. 4 months later (after not chasing him), my blood test came good, for first time in a long time. Even my thyroid got normalized. My son is still young (21), is still finding himself in this world... lives just over a mile from me, but I have no idea whether he is even alive or not as I write this. So, after texting him 4 weeks ago, and sending some photos to him from when he was little, and not getting any responses, go figure... that means I could have had an emergency and be dead 4 weeks ago, he could care less. Save your health and your sanity, and show love and care to yourself, for no one else can love you more than you can do that! Is this easy decision? Hell no, it's utterly heartbreaking 💔... Is this best possible decision, one that is fair and square - you bet it is!!! Please know, that what you and I are going through, at least 95% of everyone else is going through, they are just not sharing or are still confused to what is going on with them. Sending you love, hugs, and prayers, wherever you are... whoever you are 🌷🤲🏻
I've been doing that for the last 40 years and believe me, they didn't value me more at all. Focusing on myself is healthy for me, but doestn't change how others' view me. Instead, it helps you see that the moment they grew apart, they had already decided that they don't want anything else with you. So the first advice was right: stop worrying about people who don't care, concentrate on you and your own life. The second advice should NOT be to expect them to value you more. That isn't realistic, and telling others so, is a complete lie.
This is for people who sense the clues another person in their lives is giving them, that they are not accepting them anymore. Acceptance is what most people really want from others. Well, sometimes you have to let go of the things you once loved.
Judging from some of the comments, some people assumed your use of the word "trick" implies deception. They may draw the same conclusion from "device," "hack," or, "strategy." Perhaps "response" would be a better choice of words, unless commenters can suggest something else. I, for one, think your suggestion is wise.
To a degree. Absence makes the heart grow fonder but just like you can go from playing hard to get to impossible to get, if you are too absent and don’t allow people to reconnect for too long, they will move on and never want to see you again.
I wouldn’t have used the word trick to describe this, but technique. Technique is a much more effective method. There are people in our lives we have to be around almost daily and that would be coworkers, this technique would be very useful if the situation arises.
This is a bit off topic but similar. I had a person in my life to whom I was an afterthought. I had realized this for some time, but as I loved the person (in friendship) I stayed available. However, over spiritual growth time with God, as He showed me my value to Him, I realized there was no need to accept being an afterthought by someone else. It was wrenching, but I stepped away from the person, and have not looked back. It's been quite freeing. I also will share something a friend told me > if your absence doesn't matter, your presence never did!! Cheers to all.
this is my experience with construction companies (I'm an ironworker 36 years now). The longer you stay with the same employer, the more they treat you like a piece of company property it's quite degrading they toss you around from place to place like you don't have a life your just a tool on the truck with the lack of young people willing to do this work you'd think they would wise up they're in for a surprise
I agree it has taken me 54 years to realize that my husband is suffering from PPD, It’s no good me crying begging trying to convince, I might even be exasperating it? There is no fix. It’s so very hard, so heartbreaking. You have to give up most of what you have, material things, that tend to mean more to the female in the relationship, your home, that is where I am at 75 years old. Depression, IBS, Tinnitus, problems with reflux, and hernias, afraid of leaving the house, two dogs that are now affected by the constant crying. 5 past suicide attempts crying out for help that never came. Sitting in a huge black hole of desperation, waiting and hoping to sell the house so I can get away to a tiny place with the dogs, for a few years (hopefully) of peace. I am sure there are many others out there like me.
Wonderful!you learn that the people you thought loved you,for your strengths and vulnerabilities and use your mistakes to better themselves you realise they don't reflect you but realise you reflect on them and in absence they realise your strength maybe your worth,probably not as they aren't capable, and sadness comes then lifts. A huge peace and satisfaction comes from feeling safe with your gut instinct,new awareness and to rise above in yourself so that you are free in so many ways....mentally and spiritually.
You know this is so true, I've experienced this firsthand. And it truly does work. Thanks for reinforcing this fact. This is what most of us refer to as reverse phycology.
I did that once and they did come back around, now they've done it again so I'm not interested any longer. I always give folks the benefit of the doubt and at least an opportunity to set things right. It's just that some things, being "set right" is indeed moving on. 👍
This is just like the old shadow analogy. If you're constantly chasing your shadow, it remains just out of reach. But if you turn around and walk away from your shadow, you can look back and it will be right behind, following you closely.
It’s not a trick. It’s just what is. If you notice they make no move to come into the space you’ve created, then clearly things are drifting apart and you let go. Cliche though it be, “let go” is always the answer. Let go control. Just be. Be who you are. That will attract ‘your’ person, and will repel “not your” person. It doesn’t make anyone right or wrong, it just allows everyone involved to be who they are and find what works in their lives.
The result varies due to nature of persons, circumstances and needs. All I practise is on three principles 1. KEEP FUNCTIONING: Never retire. Be fully minded ON your business and focus your energy on your deeds and needs. 2. Do good (only good) always according to the best of your understanding. but... NEVER WASTE YOUR TIME TO PROVE THAT YOU ARE GOOD. 3. The least is the expectation from people, more will be the peace and joy.
The problem is the less you give, the less you care, the less you love.... So even if the person understands and come back one day, you probably wont care any more.... For the specific person is a lose lose situation lol! Its only a win win for yourself
Very very good insight in human behaviour and the simple steps one can take to turn around a situation to the better. As you say, whether you loose a person or manage to gain back respect and valuation - either way is a win win situation. Thanks for sharing this with us 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
Good advice as far as personal relations are concerned, but there are circumstances in which you cannot give less or go away. For example, when you are a teacher and you face disrespectful behaviour from your students and neither admonishing them nor punishing them bring results! If this is the situation (for whatever reason: bad upbringing, indifference, boredom, unwillingness to strive for the better), the only thing --it seems to me -- you can do is patience and prayer.
I was already coming to this conclusion and then saw this vid. Thanks, I need to back off a bit, feel unappreciated by sister I took in. Details are not important but we seem to need time off. I think it’s healthy emotionally.
Trick is a bad choice of words. It's setting a boundary for yourself, no longer being the pursuer but instead only responding to a reciprocal relationship. And no relationship is 50/50
The key to "handling" someone, is NOT TO "HANDLE" THEM. If you need "tricks" to maintain a relationship of any kind, then you don't have a relationship in the first place... you have an association or acquaintance. People who genuinely care for one another "handle" situations naturally... no "tricks" necessary.
❤️MY MOTHER ALWAYS N ALWAYS GAVE THIS VALUABLE PIECE OF ADVISE, THOSE WHO DON’T VALUE YOU, R NOT WORTH CHASING AFTER! VALUE YOUR SELF ENOUGH, THAT MAKES YOU CONFIDENT (NOT A NARCISSISTIC PERSON), N YOU MOVE AHEAD!
This is really powerful and van be quite shocking and confronting when they pretended to care for a long time and finally their true colours are revealed ❤
I had this work beautifully once when an ex tried to return after too rude of a breakup, and at first I was forcing myself to act aloof. Then I started to feel that way. The spell broke and I was like - uh, who is this dumb guy? I don't care. Relief. It doesn't always work like that. But your feelings about yourself can be enhanced by some distance.
Stepping back from your adult child late 30s-w whom you’d once been so close, even in their 20s & early 30s-has resulted in complete deafening Silence.
Not always. My stepmother doesn't contact and it shows lack of loyalty and fake care. When people in relationships/situationships do this, it also creates massive hurt feelings NOT supportive enduring care...
I might be lonely at times but I'm better off. And no longer living paycheck to paycheck, I still have to watch expenses but I'm not losing much sleep over $.
some tips on how to, i cant see myself moving on, shet is hard rn, Im prolly a too soft hearted nerd bro, fucks sake I cant explain how they threw me out of their life, even the girl i loved so much so much and so many feelings and thoughts colliding rn
The problem is that in such cases we always try to do something. The real trick is: "Don't do anything". simply be who you are without using any mask; when you try to do something you are giving excessive importance to what other people do and you are playing a role instead of being your true self.
I prayed to God to protect me from my enemies. Suddenly I began losing all my friends. Dont bother trips to reclaim people who don't value you. Learn to live without them!!
Now you did it 😂...God is going to start protecting you from all manner of things...some, you may not even realize, but God does. I will pray for you! Good news, you will have a bunch of wonderful Godly ppl, places, things as you bend to His will. Hang in, and READ YOUR BIBLE 😊
Beaware from people who are not people friendly...Andnstaynaway from people who have been changed after aquring POWER AND MONEY.
@SamSam77771 - I do the same thing & similar results! 😮
I’ve tried this a few times, and I was amazed at how quickly I restored my dignity.
💯true words.
Most grateful that you came to the point and didn't stretch the video out to 30 minutes!👍👍
I hate,Lets Dive in every video😂😂😂
I wouldn’t want to take back anyone who devalued me. This is who they are.
What if it were your adult child?
@@theresister5120This is the reason I clicked on this. My adult children do not value me. Or take a interest in what is going on with me. I cannot talk about myself. Just what’s going on with them. Never coming over for a visit, or helping me with a task . I pitch in when I visit them, laundry,doing dishes,running the grandkids to sporting events. Crickets 🦗 coming back around.
Same here...child will always regret if you're made him understand..but no one else can get another chance.
🤫
YOU ARE SMARTER THAN THE PSYCHOLOGISTS
@@mariaamroussi6142 My cat is smarter than a psychologist
This isn’t a trick, it is good advice. Thank you for the reminder!
Naa careful, it's showing negligence, which is a huge character flaw....
Many are like this, relationship coaches teach it too...
Probably why so many lack proper emotional intelligence and communication skills
Yes good advice , because sometimes you Can't totally distance because could be neighbours or family. Then that's good advice 😊 THANKS ❤
It works! And, after a short time you feel a wonderful peace. It’s not that I don’t love said person(s) anymore, but it’s exhausting and I realized if I don’t take care of me, no one else is going to and that’s empowering! It gives you more time to pray and opens you up in a good way so you can start to develop a quiet strength!
This is so true! Christian folks I expected to be friendly and kind were nothing of the sort. I ditched them. On one occasion a person came back to me - I accepted it, but my closeness towards her is not what it was, I just don't know how genuine it is. Be kind, be friendly, but don't share too much of yourself with them.
Very well said 👏
Wasting your time praying is also a travesty.
Absolutely correct. A person just needs a break sometimes.
If a "trick" has to be used on someone, this is not someone you should want to be involved with. This is common sense people!
👍❤
FACT!!! Yet we still watched the video🤦
It is a poor choice of word but how can anyone be valued, who does not value themself?
Only a dreamer or a very fortunate person rests in the assumption that a relationship does not need to be worked on or worked for and there is nothing new in “absence makes the heart grow fonder”.
When you have a toxic (negative) brother, sister, sorry, you can not always go away.... You have to stay in official occasions (even if you don't wants to be there. We can't "always go away" at work, in our family, etc. It's common sens, like you say ...
Don’t forget the other cliche “ you don’t know what you got till it’s gone”
I left three friends because I saw they didn’t value me. It hurts at times but I won’t accept being treated less than I deserve.
Perhaps you weren't.
Perhaps you are jerk!
We all have the illusion of what we deserve our world is predicated upon it, our ego how it 'should be' the sub-conscious our internal view of the world around us or I prefer the inner child, of six to 9 years old of making sense of who we are and how we fit in with the world. You are you you don't need friends to validate your existence or make you feel less than, accept what has happened, good things come, good things go. Change is inevitable a course correction because you are making space for more good to come into your life-You'll see!
God will give you good friends
Let them go.
Throw the rotten food that will make you sick out of your refrigerator to make room for things that will actually nourish you.
People who are cold hearted it will not bother them even if you leave 😅
Let them, u enjoy yourself🎉
True, this trick only works on people who care
And who needs cold hearted friends anyhow?
So true! But better leave cold hearted in the deep freezer!!
True like narc people
I just walked away.
Permanently!!!
I don't give people second chances to 🗡️ me in the back!!!
Brother it might be hard to do but in the long run you are better off.
@@jeffharper7579
That's exactly right!
As George Washington said,
_"It is better to be alone than to be in bad company."_
👍
Absolutely correct... keep walking and don't look back...
I don't want to seem rude but it's better to walk and not look back and when you are successful with out them don't rub it in just be modest and keep moving.
All my so called friends are gone. I do not want users in my life anymore. I have more value than that.
I now see that I have wanted so badly to be included and liked that I allowed people to take advantage of me. No more. I am hurt and feel betrayed as I reflect on this truth, but I think others, like me, have experienced the same.
@@sharondoan1447- Most definitely. You are not alone.
I agree 100% I've used it and it always works in fact I'm happier now than before. Most of the people don't know their own worth, they need others to measure their worth and that's why it never gets measured to the fullest. Once you yourself know your worth you will be emancipated, you'll be lighter and happier and would need not others to measure your worth. I say i'd rather have no friends than crappy friends. Those who leave you, it's their loss not yours.
I value myself and that is all that matters to me. I have no control over what people think of me but i have control over what I think of myself. All the people worth knowing will like me and the rest don't matter.
Absolutely. Don’t take the humiliation.
Exactly, end of discussion.. everyone stay safe and warm.
Its great being introverted ❤ No b.s. in my life. Period.
Quietude has its rewards 🎉
Yes
Agreed. I’m learning that❤️
I am a extravert but I live alone and like that. It is not black/ white. Also extravert can live like an introvert. Live is more than a label.
But as you get older, us introverts have to consider who will take care of us when we get sick, need surgery….. By all means, never settle but we will need someone as we get older and our health declines.
In my experience, introverts get a bad rap. I am an introvert myself, but messages I keep getting in society is that extraverts are more interesting and introverts are boring. What a load of bull. I went on a drama course when I was a teenager, because I was interested in a career in acting. Sure, I was shy then, but I thought I'd be playing characters who are different to me so does it matter? According to the people both teachers and student, I was too introverted for an acting career. I was even picked on for it. Needless to say, after 2 terms, I left. But it was not just the drama college, it has been my experience in various settings that introverted people are boring. What about all the extraverts who have bored me to death. Not all of them, but enough of them to explode the myth!
Informative video. My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let him go i did all i could to get him back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring him back
Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach him/her?
Her name is Shelly renee white , and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive
Please see a genuine, certified therapist to help you. It was very helpful to me. It was great to unload on someone, and to look at it from a different perspective .
"if you love someone/something, let it go; if it comes back to you, it is yours. If it doesn't, it has never been yours" Kalil Gibran. I've lived my life according to this motto and I can testify that it's absolutely true. I've had and I still have wonderful people in my life because I gave them space... and they choose to stay and bring so much value in my life ...
That worked for me as well until I became disabled and couldn’t do the things I had done in the past. That’s when I discovered who my real family and friends were. When I no longer had the money to fund what my children wanted, surprise! They suddenly didn’t need or want me anymore. My friends stopped calling because I couldn’t afford expensive trips or activities. Not so much as a text message from two of my three lifelong “friends” of 50 years. One kindly texts me twice a year- for my birthday and Christmas. I dutifully text back. I assume it makes her feel better as a person to know that she hasn’t forgotten me. I live 20 minutes from her.
@@merk9569so sorry to hear this. It’s quite surprising isn’t it - you really would think your friends family would check on you more than before, not less. You sound a strong person.
Very true. When you fall sick and depend on others you will realise who really care about you.
My chawi grandma full of wisdom ( a berber of east algeria ) used to say : welcome to who’s come and double welcome to who’s leave ! It took me 45 years to understand the depth of that sentence!
YOU ARE RIGHT IT TOOK ME HALF OF ME LIFE
So true, I was in a 15 year relationship and dealing with a family member’s terminal illness. My partner who lived out of town, never once asked how I was doing or how my family member was doing. Never cared. He had moved on from me. I tried to save the relationship because I didn’t want to start over. The more I pushed, the more he pulled back. I realized he had checked out when he chose to go fishing with his son rather than stay with me after my family member’s memorial service. How demoralizing. Then he was to come down for my birthday but didn’t. The last text from him, I didn’t respond. He never text me again and I never texted him. I am at a new place now and ready to move on and find me a partner to share my life with. I wish him well; but not too well….
Sounds like a piece of shit you had.
Sorry for the loss of your loved one.
Mine was no better.
I look forward to you commenting more sooner than later that you've met the one
@@simone8799 Thanks👍
you are a kind person
@@kathydixon1666 Thanks😊
I liked that " i wish him well but not "too well"😅
It's simple: When someone doesn't value me or respect me, I wish them well, thank them for the time we shared, turn and walk away.
That is very healthy 👍🏻
Don’t walk away. Run!
Just walk away. Never look back. You don’t need such people in your life and, in fact, they damage you and waste your time and energy. Their loss.
This is very true what he is saying. People get dependent on you and don’t care how they treat you. Stop the nonsense and move on, you will find life is much better.
No,,,just leave them
You know in your heart ❤️ if they really care or not, if they’re genuinely interested in you.
WHO is in ur heart❤🎉❤
Not really, she was narcisstic. Our friendship was too controlling b her; always ringing me up etc. no space between. Madness. Should be space for each to grow and have time for other friends, my own time to pursue my own inetests.
In the last job interview I had I said I don't mind helping others but I don't like being taken for granted, I did get the job and there were times I had to stick to my values. I still do it now, I enjoy being able to help others if I can but I will step back if I feel put on.
Stepping away now. Thank You.
It's tricky when it's a family member but eventually they will realise what they lost ❤
My mother didn't really value me.... I was just the opposite of her.....
I went away ( in another country ) and she remained behind and died lonely ....I am very sad when I think about that...😢
@@Ulysses88047shame on both that lacked communication skills..
My stepmother doesn't really even try and was cruel and hurtful a lot....
Always favoured her 'Real daughter ' so very 'Cinderella vibes'
@@Ulysses88047in my case, my daughter doesn’t value me…
@@Ulysses88047, I did the same thing to my
they still blame you though 😕 i suppose that shouldn't matter
Yup. Good advice. Keep moving forward. Often, these people who disrespect others, don't value themselves.
ITS TRUE
@@eternalblossom9287 🙂 Sure is.
I am currently experiencing this sad truth with someone I've known for over 20 years. In short, over the years it became a one way relationship where I was always the giving one. The last straw came when she was once again apologizing for something she continuously does and something in me changed. I have ghosted tf out of her and haven't looked back. She is now texting me every day and I have ignored them and I feel good about doing it.
This video confirmed what I was already doing was the correct course and I'm feeling excellent!!!
The Best Appolgy is most definitely changed behavior! If that doesn't work then it was best to keep Ghosting!
So true. It is hard to become cold, but when devalued, redirect your energy, reclaim self, being independent, improving self etc.......
Exactly whoever it may be its good to step back to keep your respect
I can relate to this , I recently lost confidence, couldn’t sleep and felt every thing falling away , family , job etc etc then one day bingo I started believing with help from my sons interaction, feed the brain 🙏🏻
If it is own daughter...and if she may not turn...afraid..
there's a book called whispers of manifestation on borlest , and it talks about how using some secret tehniques you can attract almost everything in life it's not some bullshit law of attraction, it's the real deal
Thanks for sharing that book info!❤
When I was younger, my Mom would tell me, "Son, you need to quit helping all these people and help yourself.". It was only in my early 40`s that I began to realize how true her words were. Those people who I helped were never around, or had time, to help me when I needed a hand at something. Because I am, or was, very intelligent and learned to do many things well, I was in demand when people needed help with something. It took some time, but I began to shed those who, in the words of another friend, were "takers" and not "givers". Now at 70, I have been at peace for 20 yrs. I have my cats, my machine/fabrication shop all to myself. I am content with my life. My phone may ring once in two weeks now. I do have one friend that I can depend upon.
I've had that experience for almost all my life!
Now, in my 50's I am boldly walking away from hurtful and non-progressive relationships.
@@bmarciasedibe7533 I hear you . Becoming wiser now after learning my lessons. Went out of the way to help people when needed . Inthe end , I was betrayed and abandoned and brutally cheated . My health suffered . Lesson : Don't trust everybody . Most of the people are users, misusers and abusers . Being too kind and trusting is dangerous in this era.
@@bmarciasedibe7533 WELL DONE
Hello who is the one friend ? What state do you live in?
@@kathydixon1666 You know I can`t answer those kinds of questions on here.
EXACTLY !!!
Just ignore or stay away.
Thanks and be blessed.
❤❤❤
leave them alone, i quite agree.
I broke a 40 year relationship and I'm not sorry. This says two things about me - I'm really dumb or I'm really patient. I think I was dumb.
Have received Christmas message from her. I choose not to reconnect.
So yes I agree. Best to step back. Create space. And then be honest with yourself.
Key words :1 step away 2. Focus on yourself
3. Let them make the first move always by reaching out to you
4. If they don't reach out to you, they weren't meant to be in your life and you just saved a lot a energy by moving on😊
It's not always the case of being divalued ..often it has more to do with different frequencies of soul growth and also levels. Putting to much pressure onto a relationship is not a good thing. Some people need more space than others. Thank you for this message 💗
I like that, definitely agree, frequency/vibration is the crux.. you either chime together or you don't..we all want to lift our vibration higher, disrespect then being hurt lowers our vibration and robs us of joy, confidence etc
Being devalued is exactly the same as being on a different frequency.
If someone tries to put me down, then it's my own decision ..if I'm going to believe it or not and in truth ..the other person is aktually talking about them- selves.
I've walked away from family AND friends.....
We teach people how to treat us.
Yes, then you end up all by your lonesome... sometimes better that way.
Thanks, my ex came back for the 3rd time and left me again due to trust issues... Ima doing the same, now let's see what happens.. currently focusing on my competitive examinations... God is with me my mom dad is with me, that's enough! ❤️
I’ve always put myself down as I’ve low self esteem, but I’ve realised now not to do this as people lose respect for you.
Walk away from anyone who doesn't value your integrity. 💯
Great advice. And also, don't let your mind give another thought to them ever. EVER.
Rightly said. I did the same with all difficult people around me. It helped me to know myself better
Yes be yourself. Remain decent without being available. Response style will be no words but blank look & indifference
Thanks for getting the point across directly, quickly and without candy coating it for a half hour. Time's too valuable for excess bs.
When someone no longer values you, you leave them!!! For good! ASAP!!!
What about if it’s a close family member like your child?
@@Laflower60 sadly same! Save your sanity... I have a case of my son (my only child). I reach out to him via txt, he doesn't respond in weeks. Why chase? I lost my health, finances, my self... all to protect him from his abusive father, and I got the "extension" of his father's personality in him. My health took a nosedive, that my physicians and specialists said I can choose myself/my health, or continue chasing him and his narcisiatic personality until grave swalows me much sooner than it should. 4 months later (after not chasing him), my blood test came good, for first time in a long time. Even my thyroid got normalized. My son is still young (21), is still finding himself in this world... lives just over a mile from me, but I have no idea whether he is even alive or not as I write this. So, after texting him 4 weeks ago, and sending some photos to him from when he was little, and not getting any responses, go figure... that means I could have had an emergency and be dead 4 weeks ago, he could care less. Save your health and your sanity, and show love and care to yourself, for no one else can love you more than you can do that!
Is this easy decision? Hell no, it's utterly heartbreaking 💔... Is this best possible decision, one that is fair and square - you bet it is!!! Please know, that what you and I are going through, at least 95% of everyone else is going through, they are just not sharing or are still confused to what is going on with them. Sending you love, hugs, and prayers, wherever you are... whoever you are 🌷🤲🏻
@@Laflower60 unfortunately the same applies. Blood is NOT thicker than water.
@@Laflower60 Try to give your child tough love.
@@real_hello_kitty I’m trying 😑
MATCH their effort- all relationships need to be reciprocal.
I've been doing that for the last 40 years and believe me, they didn't value me more at all. Focusing on myself is healthy for me, but doestn't change how others' view me. Instead, it helps you see that the moment they grew apart, they had already decided that they don't want anything else with you. So the first advice was right: stop worrying about people who don't care, concentrate on you and your own life. The second advice should NOT be to expect them to value you more. That isn't realistic, and telling others so, is a complete lie.
This is for people who sense the clues another person in their lives is giving them, that they are not accepting them anymore. Acceptance is what most people really want from others. Well, sometimes you have to let go of the things you once loved.
Judging from some of the comments, some people assumed your use of the word "trick" implies deception. They may draw the same conclusion from "device," "hack," or, "strategy." Perhaps "response" would be a better choice of words, unless commenters can suggest something else. I, for one, think your suggestion is wise.
Well said. Don't chase somebody. Let him space to approach.
This is completely true. I did it. I stepped way way back. Suddenly things changed.
NEVER STOP SOME ONE LEAVING OPEN THE DOOR WIDE AND LET THEM GO
@@eternalblossom9287 excellent 😊
To a degree. Absence makes the heart grow fonder but just like you can go from playing hard to get to impossible to get, if you are too absent and don’t allow people to reconnect for too long, they will move on and never want to see you again.
Which is fine.
Just enjoy the benefits of being ALONE and release yourself from the burden of having to feel like this by anyone.
I wouldn’t have used the word trick to describe this, but technique. Technique is a much more effective method. There are people in our lives we have to be around almost daily and that would be coworkers, this technique would be very useful if the situation arises.
This is a bit off topic but similar. I had a person in my life to whom I was an afterthought. I had realized this for some time, but as I loved the person (in friendship) I stayed available. However, over spiritual growth time with God, as He showed me my value to Him, I realized there was no need to accept being an afterthought by someone else. It was wrenching, but I stepped away from the person, and have not looked back. It's been quite freeing. I also will share something a friend told me > if your absence doesn't matter, your presence never did!!
Cheers to all.
I did that and the friend never came back. when I stopped being the only one who maintain the friendship alive, the friendship died
this is my experience with construction companies (I'm an ironworker 36 years now). The longer you stay with the same employer, the more they treat you like a piece of company property it's quite degrading they toss you around from place to place like you don't have a life your just a tool on the truck with the lack of young people willing to do this work you'd think they would wise up they're in for a surprise
*they're
I'm that guy.
I’ve done exactly that and it works
Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
... of someone else.
I stepped back, he stepped up. Now he wants to give me everything 😊❤
I agree it has taken me 54 years to realize that my husband is suffering from PPD, It’s no good me crying begging trying to convince, I might even be exasperating it? There is no fix. It’s so very hard, so heartbreaking. You have to give up most of what you have, material things, that tend to mean more to the female in the relationship, your home, that is where I am at 75 years old. Depression, IBS, Tinnitus, problems with reflux, and hernias, afraid of leaving the house, two dogs that are now affected by the constant crying. 5 past suicide attempts crying out for help that never came. Sitting in a huge black hole of desperation, waiting and hoping to sell the house so I can get away to a tiny place with the dogs, for a few years (hopefully) of peace. I am sure there are many others out there like me.
This video makes a lot of sense,, Listen to it carefully..👍👍👍
Wonderful!you learn that the people you thought loved you,for your strengths and vulnerabilities and use your mistakes to better themselves you realise they don't reflect you but realise you reflect on them and in absence they realise your strength maybe your worth,probably not as they aren't capable, and sadness comes then lifts.
A huge peace and satisfaction comes from feeling safe with your gut instinct,new awareness and to rise above in yourself so that you are free in so many ways....mentally and spiritually.
You know this is so true, I've experienced this firsthand. And it truly does work. Thanks for reinforcing this fact. This is what most of us refer to as reverse phycology.
That's exactly what I have done.
It works marvelously.
I did that once and they did come back around, now they've done it again so I'm not interested any longer. I always give folks the benefit of the doubt and at least an opportunity to set things right. It's just that some things, being "set right" is indeed moving on. 👍
When someone doesn't value me I step back and step out. All the way out.
This is just like the old shadow analogy. If you're constantly chasing your shadow, it remains just out of reach. But if you turn around and walk away from your shadow, you can look back and it will be right behind, following you closely.
Very pragmatic message. Insightful and very relevant.
It’s not a trick. It’s just what is. If you notice they make no move to come into the space you’ve created, then clearly things are drifting apart and you let go. Cliche though it be, “let go” is always the answer. Let go control. Just be. Be who you are. That will attract ‘your’ person, and will repel “not your” person. It doesn’t make anyone right or wrong, it just allows everyone involved to be who they are and find what works in their lives.
Step back is good for both individuals involved.
The result varies due to nature of persons, circumstances and needs.
All I practise is on three principles
1. KEEP FUNCTIONING: Never retire. Be fully minded ON your business and focus your energy on your deeds and needs.
2. Do good (only good) always according to the best of your understanding. but... NEVER WASTE YOUR TIME TO PROVE THAT YOU ARE GOOD.
3. The least is the expectation from people, more will be the peace and joy.
The problem is the less you give, the less you care, the less you love.... So even if the person understands and come back one day, you probably wont care any more.... For the specific person is a lose lose situation lol! Its only a win win for yourself
And you are the person who you need to take care of
Very very good insight in human behaviour and the simple steps one can take to turn around a situation to the better. As you say, whether you loose a person or manage to gain back respect and valuation - either way is a win win situation. Thanks for sharing this with us 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
Good advice as far as personal relations are concerned, but there are circumstances in which you cannot give less or go away. For example, when you are a teacher and you face disrespectful behaviour from your students and neither admonishing them nor punishing them bring results! If this is the situation (for whatever reason: bad upbringing, indifference, boredom, unwillingness to strive for the better), the only thing --it seems to me -- you can do is patience and prayer.
I was already coming to this conclusion and then saw this vid. Thanks, I need to back off a bit, feel unappreciated by sister I took in. Details are not important but we seem to need time off. I think it’s healthy emotionally.
A Profound TRUTH!!
Thank you for sharing this information. It was very timely and I’m dealing with this right now. A narcissist in my marriage.
Trick is a bad choice of words. It's setting a boundary for yourself, no longer being the pursuer but instead only responding to a reciprocal relationship. And no relationship is 50/50
The key to "handling" someone, is NOT TO "HANDLE" THEM.
If you need "tricks" to maintain a relationship of any kind, then you don't have a relationship in the first place... you have an association or acquaintance.
People who genuinely care for one another "handle" situations naturally... no "tricks" necessary.
They possibly never valued you
We just only just noticed it
❤️MY MOTHER ALWAYS N ALWAYS GAVE THIS VALUABLE PIECE OF ADVISE, THOSE WHO DON’T VALUE YOU, R NOT WORTH CHASING AFTER! VALUE YOUR SELF ENOUGH, THAT MAKES YOU CONFIDENT (NOT A NARCISSISTIC PERSON), N YOU MOVE AHEAD!
Excellent video short and to the point I am 84. I wish I would’ve learned this lesson years ago.
When you step back and the other person just doesn't give a shit. Just live your life without that person. That's all you can do.
Anyone that doesn't value you did not value from day one. Just like when someone turns out to be an enemy thats also day one.
Nothing like being taken for granted, taken advantage of or being a "place holder" while they wait for someone better!
Not true. I just got stabbed in the back by my sister who up until recently supported me for about 60 years.
This is really powerful and van be quite shocking and confronting when they pretended to care for a long time and finally their true colours are revealed ❤
@timd-s1p can totally relate, it's shocking when it's a close family member and the relationship is then totally flipped on its head ❤
@@timd-s1p That would really hurt! I'm sorry that you are going through that.
I had this work beautifully once when an ex tried to return after too rude of a breakup, and at first I was forcing myself to act aloof. Then I started to feel that way. The spell broke and I was like - uh, who is this dumb guy? I don't care. Relief. It doesn't always work like that. But your feelings about yourself can be enhanced by some distance.
Stepping back from your adult child late 30s-w whom you’d once been so close, even in their 20s & early 30s-has resulted in complete deafening Silence.
Not always.
My stepmother doesn't contact and it shows lack of loyalty and fake care.
When people in relationships/situationships do this, it also creates massive hurt feelings NOT supportive enduring care...
Someone after years only valued my paycheck and not me so now they are my ex and I have moved on.
Sounds like my ex wife all about money
I might be lonely at times but I'm better off. And no longer living paycheck to paycheck, I still have to watch expenses but I'm not losing much sleep over $.
some tips on how to, i cant see myself moving on, shet is hard rn, Im prolly a too soft hearted nerd bro, fucks sake I cant explain how they threw me out of their life, even the girl i loved so much so much and so many feelings and thoughts colliding rn
It's hard but like the old saying time heals trust me in time life gets better just hang in there.
Know how you feel
Thanks for the confirmation. I am doing this right now. But don't call it a "trick.' It is a strategy. Self preservation.
If they don’t value you they’re not going to care if you step back. In fact, they may be relieved.
Very valuable message to learn from, thank you so much for sharing.
*Yes, this is EXACTLY how it works* ‼️👍🏼
Very good.
Thank you. 🙏🏼
Thanks for the valuable advice.
I've done this recently. It's true.
My partner living in Austin is currently unemployed, he watches these videos a lot for information on relationship
Everybody deserves a Second Chance.
Nobody deserves unlimited chances.
The problem is that in such cases we always try to do something. The real trick is: "Don't do anything". simply be who you are without using any mask; when you try to do something you are giving excessive importance to what other people do and you are playing a role instead of being your true self.
Love yourself take care of yourself invest in yourself and let the rest come to you.