There was a line in this book that went 'He put two of his hands on my waist.' That line pulled me out of the book, made me laugh and say out loud, "How many hands does he have that he only put two of them on you?" I only remember that line because it was so ridiculously bad. A simple, 'He put his hands on my waist' would have sufficed.
No, no, that line is pure genius. It was critically important that the author establish that he hadn't become an amputee since the last scene he appeared in.
Best bet's that 50 Shades of Green parody book that Lindsey Ellis helped create a few years back. It would surprise me very little if a line like that got into a Hunky Cthulhu romance novel.
"babies are less dependent on others than Bella is" As someone who is literally nursing a fussy 3 week old for the 5th time in the last hour, I quite agree with this statement.
Natalie, hi. Babies have a growth spurt at 3 weeks, 6 weeks and 12 weeks. That should explain the fussiness and extra feedings. I nursed 3 boys if you ever wanna talk :)
So when I first read these books, I was square in the target audience. That is, teenage girl who had never been in a relationship. I think no relationship experience is key in actually enjoying these books so you don’t know what something healthy actually looks like. I hate to admit it now, but for a while, New Moon was my favorite of the series. I was beginning an extreme angsty phase so Bella ended up being more on the relatable side for me. It was easy to identify with feeling deeply misunderstood and abandoned. I wanted someone just like Jacob to come sweep me off my feet. Where the real enjoyment from these books came was the ability to pretend I was Bella, and I probably only skimmed most of the long paragraphs. Instead of carefully reading every last word, I only cared about enough details to put myself into that world. I think that’s what most girls who liked this books so much did, and that’s why they were popular. If the book had a main character with an ounce of personality, I wouldn’t have been able to put myself in her place and have a whole romantic fantasy I could so easily slide into. Of course I outgrew those books, but I’ll always have a soft spot in my heart for them. I understand why people hate them, but I feel like those who hate on it can never quite grasp why someone would love them so that’s why I decided to leave this novel of a comment.
Something tells me E.L. James was an intentional martyr just so the "Still a better love story than Twilight" meme would die by writing something worse.
"The characters are nonsensical and when they're not, they're idiotic." ~KrimsonRogue on Twilight: New Moon This is the first vid I've seen from you and I love you already.
oh you poor man I was in the target demographic when I first read the twilight books and even then I didn't like New Moon when I reread the series I skipped it.
I was 12-13 and was going through a phase when I loved the entire series but even back then I couldn't trudge through this one. Reading it felt so mentally and emotionally draining in a way that has so rarely happened with other books before or since this has to be some kind of record
I honestly considering skipping the flick when it came out, as it was my least favorite of the four even when I still liked it. I caved and saw it with my then BFF. I wish I could say it finally broke the spell on me but somehow, despite me not liking it all that much, it re-hooked me to the franchise for another few months. It wasn't even the last Twilight movie I saw before I completly outgrew it and moved on since I ended up getting dragged to the next one during a camp trip to the movies (What ever the fuck it was called I don't even remember.) But that was when I finally started to think it was stupid (with some help from a friend who was a massive Twilight hater.) I didn't bother seeing the rest of the films and got rid of the books, and I finally was able to move on. First to Re-reading Harry Potter from mid 2011 to late 2012, and then on to Marvel after watching the Avengers, and I'm still a fan to this day.
I laughed at this, creative man! IDK why, but the idea of bird poop having more character than any twilight books character is so true it's just a sad funny.
+Sasah Jean Do you mean like the idiot who made this video because he clearly has terrible taste in books. It's like someone looked up popular books online and bought whatever he saw. It's like when an idiot pretends to like comics by sitting in front of 100 Funko Pop figures and a copy of Killing Joke.
KrimsonRogue My theory is that the main editor had just gotten a nasty divorce that left him in a state of perpetual anger and bitterness. One day he forgot to take his meds, and decided the whole world should suffer and published Stephanie’s first draft.
Omg I recently read the first book (I couldn't even finish it) because the relationship is so toxic and made me want to bang my head against the wall. Worst book I've ever read
Danielle Apple i remember reading after on wattpad when i was in middle school, wayyyy before it was even close to being published, n being all like “oh Shit this is the greatest love story ever.” looking back now, i realize that i was blinded by the fact that it was a 1D fanfic and can now safely say that i can’t believe i waisted so much valuable time reading it
Edward stalks Bella wherever she goes, breaks into her house to watch her sleep, forces her to let him drive her home by threatening to drag her back if she tries to run away, leaves her out of paranoia that he might kill her even knowing that given her obsession with him it's bound to go badly. And it does with Bella screaming, acting like her life is over and practically going into a coma because her obsessive crush left her even though she barely knew him. A guy who creepily described her blood as his heroin. He rips the engine out of her truck so she can't go and see Jacob out of jealousy and calls his own child an evil abomination. Yet the story still portrays their relationship as the "true love" Meyer thinks it is rather than the obsessive lust it actually is.
He sucks. She sucks. The story sucks, *BUT the book alwas still enjoyable* for a lot of people. Myself included. I read it in my 20s, so it wasn't lack of life experience that made me like it. *I genuinely liked the plot, even though I had to roll my eyes every couple of minutes at the characters*
I... *stands up and applauds before wiping away tears* I love you, man. You have such strength and motivation... I couldn't finish the book. I couldn't even make it through ONE QUARTER of the book. Once Bella started her pity party, I was just fucking done with the books. Don't even ask me what I was thinking about watching the movies.
I was forced to watch the movie during a school field trip. And let me tell you, I had to suffer through the book series because of my desperate cougar English teacher. I still, to this day, can't tell which was worse. The "Books" or the "Movies." Knew I should have just snuck out to see the transformers film. I would have gotten in trouble, but at least I wouldn't have had to sit through that aging MILFs wet dream of a fan film.
Little did Krimson Knew at the time, he’ll be finding the unfortunate works of Onision, Empress Theresa, E.L James and many more in his unending quest to find the worst book possible. Twilight was only the beginning.....
"Twilight New Moon Is the Worst Book I've Ever Read" I bet he'll change his mind if he reads Eclipse and Breaking Dawn. As difficult as it may be to believe, each Twilight book is worse than the previous book.
@@hunterwinslow558 there is no conflicts in the books, the movies play up the super small part where conflicts actual happen. But that's usually like less than 50 pages of the either books, which are multi-hundredsof pages of nothing. And the last book, builds up to a conflict, that doesn't actually happen; the "armies" are gather, to "talk" it out.
I clicked on this because my English teacher recommended the Twilight series to 14-years-old me, claiming it is the best novel. Needless to say, I finished reading everything and never seek out any novels of romance genre ever again. Edit: Your background is my dream house goals. My god, those books are GOALSSS
I couldn't get through the first book. I got as far as "he looked at her, she looked away. She looked at him, he looked away" in science class for 4 pages. Seriously. I can't get past it. And I can normally read anything I can get my hands on. But the Twilight Series, I can't do it. I give you sooooooo much credit!!!!! Great job!!!!!
Hell no, Breaking Dawn set up to be the best, and then the ending happened and I was like: Well, that was it, I'm never reading these again. What a sad boring ending.
I dont know, the end was kind of heroic. They basically only managed to temporarily postphone their inevitable destruction, which is like a greek tragedy.
@@kaceynm totally in agreement with you. Eclipse is so bad that I left it after 50 or so pages. Didn't have the courage to pick up breaking dawn after that.
One of the best, on the money descriptions of this book ever. I read them to get inside the head of a girl who also liked the series; I ended up more confused about females than I ever was before. Bella's not a character; she's a plot device. The Twilight Saga is like telling the Star Wars story from the perspective of Luke's lightsaber.
Lol, one of my notes describes Bella as a Maguffin. I like your lightsaber comparison though. Of course, at least things happened to Luke's lightsaber. XD
@ JackDManheim Actually Twilight gives you a pretty accurate depiction of how women see themselves... They see themselves as objects. No, I'm not kidding. All women see themselves as objects of male desire. That is literally their entire identity. If you don't understand that now I pray you will soon, because bad things happen to men who don't see the truth about women.
Forget the beer, he needs some bloody whiskey! I hope that'll erase some portion of what you've experienced Krimson if you're reading this. What you need is a good read. Take your mind of things. May I suggest the classic ERB story, The Gods of Mars or any of the other John Carter novels if you haven't read them?
How can a book that big have so little substance.... tsk tsk tsk. Take a break and read Neil Gaiman. I'd recommend Stardust, he does the "sparkling" thing RIGHT
And she only spent a week in bed, the other "six or seven months" she was trying to act normal and do her stuff so her father didn't send her with her mother to Jacksonville
Dominic Noble recently covered the main four books of the Twilight series. When he was reviewing New Moon, he noted that the Volturi could be incredibly menacing characters for a horror story, but like a few other elements are wasted. He really tried to be even-handed, aware that he was not the target audience at any point in his life, but the further he read, the worse the main characters got.
Slaveofamv I have serious issues with 50 shades, twilight in my own opinion is worse because of lack of plot, fifty shades is abusive and not how the world it talks about works in my experience. The difference being annoying or scary. :) Apologies for the long rant, I'm writing it while watching this.
Elani Arkady The book ruined the movie for me so I never watched it but after watching this video I see why people say that! Christian is such a creep! I hope I never have the chance to see this movie. It looks really bad just like the book lol.
Krimson, I admire how maturely you were able to handle this specific series. Granted, I was in third grade when I picked up the first book, and I'm not even joking when I say that when I borrowed the a copy of the book from my school's library, I ended up violently sick, and couldn't bring myself to finish it.
Forward, Krimson! To the Mountains of Boring Horse-Fuckery!!! There may come a day when we stop sadistically enjoying your pain at reading these novels, BUT IT IS NOT THIS DAY!
You don't have to do this. Your Twilight review is treat (punishment for you) enough for us. I'm just saying what I'm saying because no matter where I hear it from, nearly everyone says anything Twilight related is either trash or really bad.
Daniel Olynick Lucky you. I met ppl loving this thing. But not like I can judge. Im a massive Fan of The Mercedes Thompson Series by Patrcia Briggs to The point of having read 4 books from that 3 times... & aparetly book one is Trash ... Crimson made a vid :(
Do you guys know the saying: "Weak people like you make me reallize how powerful I am" Twilight is basically the book version of this: "Trashy books like yours make me reallize how good an author I am" I mean I'm not really. I try my best but I'm only fourteen, and I don't belive that I have a lot of experiance. But hey. Still a better story then Twilight
I started writing books when I was 11. I’ve written a lot since then. Even my trashiest piece of crap is better than Twilight, and most of it is pretty good. Don’t stop writing😁
Same. 23-year-old amateur here. I have passing thoughts that are more worthy of publication than Twilight, and most of those end up in my mental trash bin. I've read countless fanfics for countless franchises that are far more interesting and engaging.
Movie bob did a really fascinating series Where he "fixed" the fantastic four movies. He told us how he would have done the movies instead and it was incredibly fascinating. I'd love to hear your take on the twilight series. Because rather than seeing you tear your hair out and scream at the books and film I would love to see or hear how you would go about thing if given the same characters, settings and lets call them plot hooks. And I agree I am liking the more mellow and thoughtful approach you are taking nowadays.
I liked Twilight when I was...13? Now I can’t recall the faintest thing about it. I think I personally liked the meandering and going-in-circles of the (objectively bad) writing because it felt somewhat like everyday life, ie. boring, ordinary, and feeling like it’s going nowhere, unlike good novels where everything is concise and has an ultimate purpose. And Bella’s overly-descriptive thoughts about everything was like a verbal transcription of things my brain notices subconsciously.
@@unfortunateanchor1717 Really EARTH TO EDWARD CULLEN WATCHING A GIRL SLEEP IN THEIR BEDROOM IS FUCKING CREEPY AS HELL SERIOUSLY DOES HE WANT TO BE LOCKED UP IN PRISON FOREVER?
I know Colleen Hoover was pretty big 6 years ago too, but this was my exact reaction to trying to struggle through one of her books recently as well. Turns out having a target audience of smut and drama-obsessed women means they'll devour anything with sex and love triangles, even if it was written by ChatGPT.
SO MANY STICKY NOTES... Also, I'll add to the 'I actually read this back when' crowd...I was bored and waiting on the new Harry Potter book. But even back then I knew it was bad.
*starts up video* Well, this will be interesti--OMG THE NOTES! OMG, LOOK AT ALL THE NOTES IN THE BOOK! HOLY SHIT! XD I'm laughing, but I also feel sorry for you. 5:30 That started okay, but then it went into unneeded territory. Problem seems to be over explaining something that should be more instantaneous as well as wordiness. Both could easily be fixed by, you guessed it, editors doing their job.
I truly understand you. I hated the series so much that I had to reread all of it twice to find the reason for my reaction. Literally, everything is wrong with it.
4:07 - 4:40 I really like the part about your father's "bad writing example" about how a man was walking across the field. I'm a writer myself and I am kinda guilty of doing the same thing. Which is why when I edit, I try to find things to cut out a lot of things and to get On with the story. Like editing walking moments, over-descriptive backgrounds, take two scenes and make them into one, unnecessary exposition, etc.
Wait until you get to the last goddamn book. I can't even remember what it's called now but it's about eight billion times worse. There was a point I thought these books were decent. But the fourth book broke me and turned me into a rather vehement anti while the series was at its peak. I frequented the anti-Twilight forums for a goodly while but my vitriol faded into relative indifference. I still think the books are terrible but I have no real anger left anymore.
Yeah, I just couldn't stand the Twilight series. Whenever someone mentions vampires and that series or werewolves and that series in the same sentence, I just want to go up to them and bitchslap them. The Twilight series isn't literature. It's an abomination literally made for hormonal teenage girls.
I read the series twice(rip me) trying to understand why it was so famous. People assume because I like vampires I like this series. And I'm like, BiTCh NO. There are so many better series out there. Your review was 110% correct.
I feel as though all the repressed anger and negative energy you had felt while reading this book poured all out through this video. I cannot even fathom the idea of reading a book in which I give less than 4 or 3 and a half stars on goodreads (not anymore at least) so I SALUTE you for sacrificing your precious time to read absolute filth.
The "half a page about a man walking across a field" reminded me of that one book i bought once of which the first SIX!!! pages were an endlessly ongoing description of how that one summer felt like. SIX! I COUNTED!!
New moon was my favorite book in the saga because of Bella's depression. She was so incredibly dull, stupid and selfish in twilight that I got a perverse satisfaction from reading this book x
Christ I was stupid when I was a fourteen year old and actually enjoyed these books. My mother and sister who read them after me have no excuse. They were fifty five and thirty respectively. That was ten years ago.
Don't feel bad. 20-something year old me loved the first book because it resonated with something 12-13 year old me would have read....and then I got to book 2 and 4 (I skipped 3 by accident). 12-13 year old me would have hated them, too. You grow out of it. And your mom and sister probably wanted to share something you enjoyed. That's how I convinced my sibling to read Interview With the Vampire. Then oddly, one of them tried to convince me to read the Twilight series, again, and watch the movies because "You just missed the good part." Honey, no. And the editing in the first movie. I'm no film student or film editor, but even I could tell the pacing was just off.
it's insane to think that the mothers in my family were so enthralled by these books that they straight up neglected their children while reading them. my aunt would lock herself in the bathroom to read this in the bathtub for hours on end while her children were left to fend for themselves
Oh Jesus, that is the look of a man who lost his will to live.
DarkMelodies 26 I cant blame him I have sisters who made me watch the movies and I wanted to jump out the window
I read the first book when I was 8 and even then I knew it was shit.
He has not even read Breaking Dawn yet... 😂
look at the color code he has on that thing! I bet you that is just a FRACTION of what he found of "note"
hahahaha it so bad he probably lost his will to kill himself too
There was a line in this book that went 'He put two of his hands on my waist.' That line pulled me out of the book, made me laugh and say out loud, "How many hands does he have that he only put two of them on you?" I only remember that line because it was so ridiculously bad. A simple, 'He put his hands on my waist' would have sufficed.
"he put both of his hands on my waist"
No, no, that line is pure genius. It was critically important that the author establish that he hadn't become an amputee since the last scene he appeared in.
I want a book with the line "He put two of his many hands on my waist."
Best bet's that 50 Shades of Green parody book that Lindsey Ellis helped create a few years back. It would surprise me very little if a line like that got into a Hunky Cthulhu romance novel.
Or even, “He held my waist.”
Krimson: this is the worst book I have ever read.
Onision: hold my beer.
Three Times
@@dodojesus4529 To go even further BEYOND!
More like "hold my liquor store"
E.L James: hold my beer
E L James: No, you hold mine. I got this.
You read the book so i dont have to.
#notallheroswearcapes
I read the book for a middle school reading project. The most painful D- I ever got
@@prestonbrower762 read the book in middle school and loved it 😂
@@AllieBee00 that's fine. To each his own
This is why we love him
Thats just dumb dont read it if u dont like it
“You are without doubt the worst book I’ve ever finished.”
“But you have finished me.”
Exactly
mine is the empty chair of J.k Rowling that book is bad i have read the hole book and dont understand what i have read the book.
"I've got a jar of dirt, I've got a jar of dirt, and guess what's inside of it?"
Lol
so many jokes can be made off this but their all below me
The amount of note things sticking out of the book scares me.
TheReapers520 It certainly a lot of colors on that book.
I think that's the best part, it looks like a college textbook. :)
My trypophobia is screaming!!
Its the only reason I clicked the video, I saw all the tabs and grew concerned
Yeah, it makes me nervous too. :D
Turn a page, wash your hands, turn a page , wash your hands, turn a page, wash your hands.
Absolutely amazing reference, I applaud you.
There are no nearly enough people who quote Rocko's Modern Life. I salute you sir!
TheOmnitron12345 OMG this made my day 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
The only way you can clean it off is with fire
InoMercy We need more RML references in the comment section.
"babies are less dependent on others than Bella is"
As someone who is literally nursing a fussy 3 week old for the 5th time in the last hour, I quite agree with this statement.
Just keep Jacob away from the baby.
Natalie TheNarwhal !!(!(‘ng
Babies are better at defending themselves than Bella too.
Natalie, hi. Babies have a growth spurt at 3 weeks, 6 weeks and 12 weeks. That should explain the fussiness and extra feedings. I nursed 3 boys if you ever wanna talk :)
Bella was annoying. 🤣🤣🤣 I still enjoyed the novels though
“This is the worst book I’ve ever read”
*Empress Theresa wants to know your location*
at least Empress Theresa is fun bullshit.
i was just waiting for someone to mention that
Empress Theresa at least makes you laugh from time to time because of how bad it is. This just makes you sigh in frustration.
So when I first read these books, I was square in the target audience. That is, teenage girl who had never been in a relationship. I think no relationship experience is key in actually enjoying these books so you don’t know what something healthy actually looks like. I hate to admit it now, but for a while, New Moon was my favorite of the series.
I was beginning an extreme angsty phase so Bella ended up being more on the relatable side for me. It was easy to identify with feeling deeply misunderstood and abandoned. I wanted someone just like Jacob to come sweep me off my feet.
Where the real enjoyment from these books came was the ability to pretend I was Bella, and I probably only skimmed most of the long paragraphs. Instead of carefully reading every last word, I only cared about enough details to put myself into that world.
I think that’s what most girls who liked this books so much did, and that’s why they were popular. If the book had a main character with an ounce of personality, I wouldn’t have been able to put myself in her place and have a whole romantic fantasy I could so easily slide into.
Of course I outgrew those books, but I’ll always have a soft spot in my heart for them. I understand why people hate them, but I feel like those who hate on it can never quite grasp why someone would love them so that’s why I decided to leave this novel of a comment.
The plot was overly watered down for no particular reason to stretch the storyline.
@@alkhemiaaugustine3764 Yeah, you are right, but your point regarding this comment is?
I also loved this story for the same reason. I know it was not well written, but I enjoyed the story before that was something I could appreciate.
Same. I was going to leave a very similar comment to explain why I didn't find the book repulsive or boring, but you explained it exactly.
I feel the same, I loved it, then jumped on the hate and now ive come to terms with the fact I loved it even if it's terrible
the look of pure disgust and hatred he gives the book has me on the floor
Even Robert Pattinson (actor of Edward) said that when he read the book, he felt like it was a book that wasn't supposed to be published.
There is a reason "Still a better love story then Twilight" is a meme...
Jaeger_Bishop My ass on a couch is a better love story.
One of the most enduring memes out there.
Something tells me E.L. James was an intentional martyr just so the "Still a better love story than Twilight" meme would die by writing something worse.
Jaeger_Bishop that meme died now it's still a better love story then fifty shades
TheSlayFer Ch. T. Only it’s dead now.
"The characters are nonsensical and when they're not, they're idiotic." ~KrimsonRogue on Twilight: New Moon
This is the first vid I've seen from you and I love you already.
When I was younger, the reason I liked Twilight so much was because, I could use the characters and make new stories in my head.
glad to see im not alone on things like this
amen
I mean that's what E.L James did
That's called fanfiction it's great
That's called fanfiction and I'm here for it
oh you poor man I was in the target demographic when I first read the twilight books and even then I didn't like New Moon when I reread the series I skipped it.
I was 12-13 and was going through a phase when I loved the entire series but even back then I couldn't trudge through this one. Reading it felt so mentally and emotionally draining in a way that has so rarely happened with other books before or since this has to be some kind of record
same here! everyone skips new moon
sf sin yup, the most boring of them all. Especially Jacobs part! That my friend was dragging us all!
I honestly considering skipping the flick when it came out, as it was my least favorite of the four even when I still liked it.
I caved and saw it with my then BFF.
I wish I could say it finally broke the spell on me but somehow, despite me not liking it all that much, it re-hooked me to the franchise for another few months.
It wasn't even the last Twilight movie I saw before I completly outgrew it and moved on since I ended up getting dragged to the next one during a camp trip to the movies (What ever the fuck it was called I don't even remember.)
But that was when I finally started to think it was stupid (with some help from a friend who was a massive Twilight hater.)
I didn't bother seeing the rest of the films and got rid of the books, and I finally was able to move on. First to Re-reading Harry Potter from mid 2011 to late 2012, and then on to Marvel after watching the Avengers, and I'm still a fan to this day.
Same
Calling new moon a terrible book is an understatement. The bird poop on my window has more charachter development than everyone in the book
Oh my god this woman is dying from laughter is anyone here a doctor?!
I laughed at this, creative man!
IDK why, but the idea of bird poop having more character than any twilight books character is so true it's just a sad funny.
Your shelves are magnificent.
I know I read most of them
Amy McLean - Author and Movie Reviewer I agree immensely
+Sasah Jean
Do you mean like the idiot who made this video because he clearly has terrible taste in books. It's like someone looked up popular books online and bought whatever he saw. It's like when an idiot pretends to like comics by sitting in front of 100 Funko Pop figures and a copy of Killing Joke.
+The Creeper....
good name
The Creeper YES such a degenerate disgrace i HATE humanity
Onision: "Am I a joke to you?"
Onision's a joke to everyone.
@@Xehanort10 His whole existence is a joke
Yes you are Onion boi
Krimson: this is worst book I have ever read
E. L. James: hold my beer
Onision: hold my liquor cabinet
Norman Boutin: Have my liquor store
If someone can out do Norman
"Hold my entire refinery"
Cassandra Claire: Challenge accepted
Where does Titus the accountant who's full title I can't remember fall into place?
David Thrash: Hold my brewery.
Midnight Sun: Hold my Keg
To any writers out there: You can do better! Use this as a motivation! Krimson suffered for us. Write something better than Twilight New Moon.
Mr. Wicked This is the most insppirational thing I heard
I have my moments
Mr. Wicked I shall try random person on the internet
Thank you for pushing me to write better than this mess called New Moon
If you guys get the chance, you should read Warm Bodies it's really good.
Oh Krimson...you didn't... *hugs him* You brave, brave man.
You won't even accept the possibility that the editors just quit?
That, or committed seppuku.
KrimsonRogue probably seppuku. It's the only way to get rid of the shame.
KrimsonRogue
My theory is that the main editor had just gotten a nasty divorce that left him in a state of perpetual anger and bitterness. One day he forgot to take his meds, and decided the whole world should suffer and published Stephanie’s first draft.
Or died in the process?
Or the editors refused, they would have felt too much shame.
I challenge you to read the After series by Anna Todd. The twilight series is a masterpiece in comparison. 🤣
Danielle Apple that book was so bad.
That's just a plain torture method tbh
Omg I recently read the first book (I couldn't even finish it) because the relationship is so toxic and made me want to bang my head against the wall. Worst book I've ever read
Danielle Apple i remember reading after on wattpad when i was in middle school, wayyyy before it was even close to being published, n being all like “oh Shit this is the greatest love story ever.” looking back now, i realize that i was blinded by the fact that it was a 1D fanfic and can now safely say that i can’t believe i waisted so much valuable time reading it
The Pledge by Kimerly Derting for if you really want to torture yourself.
Edward stalks Bella wherever she goes, breaks into her house to watch her sleep, forces her to let him drive her home by threatening to drag her back if she tries to run away, leaves her out of paranoia that he might kill her even knowing that given her obsession with him it's bound to go badly. And it does with Bella screaming, acting like her life is over and practically going into a coma because her obsessive crush left her even though she barely knew him. A guy who creepily described her blood as his heroin. He rips the engine out of her truck so she can't go and see Jacob out of jealousy and calls his own child an evil abomination. Yet the story still portrays their relationship as the "true love" Meyer thinks it is rather than the obsessive lust it actually is.
The accuracy hurts.
Thank you! Someone gets it, I don't get how, many people find the books or movies good at all.
He sucks. She sucks. The story sucks, *BUT the book alwas still enjoyable* for a lot of people. Myself included. I read it in my 20s, so it wasn't lack of life experience that made me like it.
*I genuinely liked the plot, even though I had to roll my eyes every couple of minutes at the characters*
Bella and Jacob was much more healthier
@@ddm1912 No they weren't. At one point Jacob forces Bella to kiss him by threatening to get himself killed in a fight if she doesn't.
I... *stands up and applauds before wiping away tears* I love you, man. You have such strength and motivation... I couldn't finish the book. I couldn't even make it through ONE QUARTER of the book. Once Bella started her pity party, I was just fucking done with the books. Don't even ask me what I was thinking about watching the movies.
I was forced to watch the movie during a school field trip. And let me tell you, I had to suffer through the book series because of my desperate cougar English teacher. I still, to this day, can't tell which was worse. The "Books" or the "Movies." Knew I should have just snuck out to see the transformers film. I would have gotten in trouble, but at least I wouldn't have had to sit through that aging MILFs wet dream of a fan film.
I couldn't even make it through a chapter of the first book, I have no idea how he stomached this
I loved Twilight when i read it in 8th grade but i still remember I got bored by New Moon.
Fair play to you, I got bored halfway through _Twilight_ and quit trying to read it.
Same, I remember loving twilight but new moon was a drag.
Same I was soooo into Twilight as a teen but I hated New Moon
Even if you were into the twilight series I think new moon is kinda always the ugly step child
Lmao new moon was my fave out of all books
"Bella goes through a depressive episode in this book"
Me: THAT'S EVERY BOOK!
Why is this in my recommended?
*a man with no will to live*
Ah, a friend. Alright I'll bite.
*two minutes* ok. I'm liking this.
Little did Krimson Knew at the time, he’ll be finding the unfortunate works of Onision, Empress Theresa, E.L James and many more in his unending quest to find the worst book possible. Twilight was only the beginning.....
"Twilight New Moon Is the Worst Book I've Ever Read"
I bet he'll change his mind if he reads Eclipse and Breaking Dawn. As difficult as it may be to believe, each Twilight book is worse than the previous book.
'It starts at the bottom...and works it's way down.' Such a perfect quote.
Breaking Dawn has vampire armies, but they don't actually do anything. They just talk for a bit and then leave. It's super anticlimactic.
@@hunterwinslow558 there is no conflicts in the books, the movies play up the super small part where conflicts actual happen. But that's usually like less than 50 pages of the either books, which are multi-hundredsof pages of nothing. And the last book, builds up to a conflict, that doesn't actually happen; the "armies" are gather, to "talk" it out.
He should be thankful Hush Hush doesn't have a movie adaption. Because that's the worst YA novel I ever read and is vastly worse than New Moon.
Aqua Burst07 I am now extremely curious about this Hush Hush book you speak of.
Uh oh guys. I think he broke
You might be right. But yeah his broken.
Mmhm
"Babies are less dependant...."
man i cracked up on that 😂
I clicked on this because my English teacher recommended the Twilight series to 14-years-old me, claiming it is the best novel.
Needless to say, I finished reading everything and never seek out any novels of romance genre ever again.
Edit: Your background is my dream house goals. My god, those books are GOALSSS
My English teacher would hate her so much
No respect for ur English teacher
Liking Twilight should immediately disqualify someone from being an English teacher.
Krimson then: this book is awful
Krimson now: oh honey ever heard of onision
Jessica Aguilar Krimson now: why the fuck did I spend 7 hours reviewing Empress Theresa
A book that hurts to read is never a good thing
bradwolf07 Oh we actually have those at my school. Their called textbooks.
Saphira Winters oh right, I must have blocked the memories of those out of my head
@@saphirawinters7028 I enjoy well written textbooks.
I couldn't get through the first book. I got as far as "he looked at her, she looked away. She looked at him, he looked away" in science class for 4 pages. Seriously. I can't get past it. And I can normally read anything I can get my hands on. But the Twilight Series, I can't do it. I give you sooooooo much credit!!!!! Great job!!!!!
Haha I had the same problem with 50 shades.... I wanted to post a thesaurus to the writer. Holy god how does this stuff get published?
twilight is just too wordy😂6 pages in a book that ends up being only 1 minute of runtime in the film.
Your large book shelves are a massive turn on for me. 😂
You should check out my book tour then. You get to see all 9 bookshelves. XD
Oh, control yourself, hussy.
I have a large book shelf... 😘
i feel you
@Stephen Murphy Sounds like someone needs a bigger bookshelf...
“an example of bad writing in which the author spent a page and a half describing a man walking across a field.”
nathaniel hawthorne: hold my beer
What has Nathaniel Hawthorne written?
Selestiel Wolf The Scarlet Letter is one
@@CarMiNe6361 thx
@@selestielwolf7949 The Marble Faun.
Fuck your cancer meme comment
I bet you miss when you still hadn't read Empress Theresa
I love your pfp. It brings back good nostalgia from those games.
The Volturi was the only interesting thing. Other than that, it was pretty boring.
And they showed up until the end of the book XD
Breaking Dawn is the only decent book in the saga and its the only one I read. lmao
Hell no, Breaking Dawn set up to be the best, and then the ending happened and I was like: Well, that was it, I'm never reading these again. What a sad boring ending.
Even then you could just read the second half of Breaking Dawn and then get the Volturi.
I dont know, the end was kind of heroic. They basically only managed to temporarily postphone their inevitable destruction, which is like a greek tragedy.
My god that book has so many tabs on it it looks like a rainbow colored hedgehog
Stay strong Krimson
Hehehe wait until you reach Breaking Dawn...
It makes New Moon look... well not good but bearable. It is that bad.
Alexander Yordanov in my opinion Eclipse was the worst. Omg, I was 14 when I read it and it was literally painful.
The first half. The second half was better.
It surprises me that there are people reading books of
It is fun actually. If you hate yourself...
@@kaceynm totally in agreement with you. Eclipse is so bad that I left it after 50 or so pages. Didn't have the courage to pick up breaking dawn after that.
your hatred for twilight is so pure, i’m cackling at midnight
Krimson: This is the worst book I've ever read
Stones to Abigail: I'm about to end this man's whole carrer
Starlight ! Reapers Creek to stones to Abigail: step aside child I got this
DIAF
@@darthbane97 Empress Theresa to both of those: peasants
First Twilight, Then 50 shades of gray, Now New moon??? STOP DOING THIS TO YOURSELF MAN!!!
Lady Victoria
Read Artemis Fowl Krim! It'll do you some healing and prep you for the movie in 2019.
Elijah Jackson I heard about the Artemis Fowl movie ages ago, I thought it was scraped. Now I'm exited all over again.
One of the best, on the money descriptions of this book ever. I read them to get inside the head of a girl who also liked the series; I ended up more confused about females than I ever was before.
Bella's not a character; she's a plot device. The Twilight Saga is like telling the Star Wars story from the perspective of Luke's lightsaber.
Lol, one of my notes describes Bella as a Maguffin. I like your lightsaber comparison though. Of course, at least things happened to Luke's lightsaber. XD
That's the best description I've ever heard. :)
KrimsonRogue I got a question. What are your thoughts on Robert Jordan's The Wheel Of Time series?
@ JackDManheim Actually Twilight gives you a pretty accurate depiction of how women see themselves...
They see themselves as objects. No, I'm not kidding. All women see themselves as objects of male desire. That is literally their entire identity. If you don't understand that now I pray you will soon, because bad things happen to men who don't see the truth about women.
Joel Gawne Except that Bella clearly has no personality whatsoever.
"Horsefuckery" 🤣🤣🤣🤣
You: This is the worst book I've ever read
Onision: Hold my beer.
2018, New Moon: "This is the worst book I've ever read"
2020, Empress Theresa: "Hold my HAL"
You poor suffering man...* gives you hug and beer or a pat on the back and beer*
Forget the beer, he needs some bloody whiskey! I hope that'll erase some portion of what you've experienced Krimson if you're reading this. What you need is a good read. Take your mind of things. May I suggest the classic ERB story, The Gods of Mars or any of the other John Carter novels if you haven't read them?
How can a book that big have so little substance.... tsk tsk tsk.
Take a break and read Neil Gaiman. I'd recommend Stardust, he does the "sparkling" thing RIGHT
Or Good Omens. He collaborated with Terry Pratchett on that one.
Read American Gods, it’s amazing
I got bored reading stardust, I somehow prefer the movie
And she only spent a week in bed, the other "six or seven months" she was trying to act normal and do her stuff so her father didn't send her with her mother to Jacksonville
the invisible me Yup. Also Victoria didn't come because she thought the Cullens were still protecting Bella.
the invisible me please don’t defend this
@@braydenharris2983 They're right.
When the Twilight movie handles something BETTER than the book-
You know it’s bad
(Also Christ Twilight reads like a bad fanfiction)
I feel like the Volturi were wasted on this. They’re so cool but everything else is so bad. Why, oh why?
Dominic Noble recently covered the main four books of the Twilight series. When he was reviewing New Moon, he noted that the Volturi could be incredibly menacing characters for a horror story, but like a few other elements are wasted. He really tried to be even-handed, aware that he was not the target audience at any point in his life, but the further he read, the worse the main characters got.
You serious? This was worse than Fifty Shades? ... WHAT?!
Slaveofamv I have serious issues with 50 shades, twilight in my own opinion is worse because of lack of plot, fifty shades is abusive and not how the world it talks about works in my experience. The difference being annoying or scary. :) Apologies for the long rant, I'm writing it while watching this.
Fifty Shades is God awful. It soooo fucking cheesy!!
Slaveofamv | Nothing's worse than 50 Shades - not even Twilight. Never go full 50 Shades.
Gina Rose Belarde there is a beautiful meme. It says if he wasn't rich it would be an episode of criminal minds.
Elani Arkady The book ruined the movie for me so I never watched it but after watching this video I see why people say that! Christian is such a creep! I hope I never have the chance to see this movie. It looks really bad just like the book lol.
Hey if you’re down just remember there’s always a kitten on a bookshelf
"The worst book I've ever read"
The Onision trilogy: am I a joke to you?
Norman Boutin: Am *I* a joke to you?
"trying to inhale as much of her scent as possible."
EW!!!
😂
That wasn’t objective
"It is going to be an extremely long review...two parts, certainly, maybe three parts..." [5-part EMPRESS THERESA series looms on the horizon]
Krim: "Twilight New Moon is the worst book I've ever read"
Empress Theresa: "Hold my space alien goo"
Krim....I'm sorry. I've never read the book, but man, I can feel the dislike through my computer screen. Physically feel it.
Can we expect an onscreen book burning?
Krimson, I admire how maturely you were able to handle this specific series. Granted, I was in third grade when I picked up the first book, and I'm not even joking when I say that when I borrowed the a copy of the book from my school's library, I ended up violently sick, and couldn't bring myself to finish it.
Forward, Krimson! To the Mountains of Boring Horse-Fuckery!!! There may come a day when we stop sadistically enjoying your pain at reading these novels, BUT IT IS NOT THIS DAY!
At least horse fucking only lasts 30 seconds and it's over.
I read twilight and LOVED IT, then I started to read new moon, literally didn’t even finish a third of the book because it was so boring
Oh gosh are we getting another Twilight review??? Oh boy I feel spoiled... Good Luck Krim!!
You don't have to do this. Your Twilight review is treat (punishment for you) enough for us. I'm just saying what I'm saying because no matter where I hear it from, nearly everyone says anything Twilight related is either trash or really bad.
Daniel Olynick Lucky you. I met ppl loving this thing.
But not like I can judge. Im a massive Fan of The Mercedes Thompson Series by Patrcia Briggs to The point of having read 4 books from that 3 times... & aparetly book one is Trash ... Crimson made a vid :(
If only he knew what lied ahead of him 8 months into the future.
I read the books in 6-7th grade and even though I know it’s trash it’s so nostalgic lol
Do you guys know the saying:
"Weak people like you make me reallize how powerful I am"
Twilight is basically the book version of this:
"Trashy books like yours make me reallize how good an author I am"
I mean I'm not really. I try my best but I'm only fourteen, and I don't belive that I have a lot of experiance. But hey. Still a better story then Twilight
Good luck with your writing! :)
I started writing books when I was 11. I’ve written a lot since then. Even my trashiest piece of crap is better than Twilight, and most of it is pretty good. Don’t stop writing😁
Same. 23-year-old amateur here. I have passing thoughts that are more worthy of publication than Twilight, and most of those end up in my mental trash bin. I've read countless fanfics for countless franchises that are far more interesting and engaging.
Little did he know, it was just a downward spiral from here.
Movie bob did a really fascinating series Where he "fixed" the fantastic four movies. He told us how he would have done the movies instead and it was incredibly fascinating. I'd love to hear your take on the twilight series. Because rather than seeing you tear your hair out and scream at the books and film I would love to see or hear how you would go about thing if given the same characters, settings and lets call them plot hooks.
And I agree I am liking the more mellow and thoughtful approach you are taking nowadays.
Twihard knows this: best to little less best:
Twilight
Breaking Dawn
Eclipse
New Moon
I liked Twilight when I was...13? Now I can’t recall the faintest thing about it. I think I personally liked the meandering and going-in-circles of the (objectively bad) writing because it felt somewhat like everyday life, ie. boring, ordinary, and feeling like it’s going nowhere, unlike good novels where everything is concise and has an ultimate purpose. And Bella’s overly-descriptive thoughts about everything was like a verbal transcription of things my brain notices subconsciously.
And Bella does near suicidal things just to see a hallucination of Edward.
Xehanort10 that was so creepy and it really sucks that it was directed to teen girls
@@unfortunateanchor1717 Really EARTH TO EDWARD CULLEN WATCHING A GIRL SLEEP IN THEIR BEDROOM IS FUCKING CREEPY AS HELL SERIOUSLY DOES HE WANT TO BE LOCKED UP IN PRISON FOREVER?
So Krim is a masochist?
Yes
Uh no his a hero, he does this so we wont have to.
Finally someone gets it right. So many ppl mess it up with sadist but those that enjoy receiving pain are masochist.
No. He just loves us. Very very much
@@Grim_Sister maybe it's both?
man this title has not aged well in terms of your book reviewing career
And now he's reading those godawful Onision "books", or, as I like to call them, toilet paper.
Worse love story than Twilight.
I know Colleen Hoover was pretty big 6 years ago too, but this was my exact reaction to trying to struggle through one of her books recently as well. Turns out having a target audience of smut and drama-obsessed women means they'll devour anything with sex and love triangles, even if it was written by ChatGPT.
"Twilight is the worst book I've read" haha you *thought*
*Seriously though man you go through a lot good on you*
SO MANY STICKY NOTES...
Also, I'll add to the 'I actually read this back when' crowd...I was bored and waiting on the new Harry Potter book. But even back then I knew it was bad.
*starts up video* Well, this will be interesti--OMG THE NOTES! OMG, LOOK AT ALL THE NOTES IN THE BOOK! HOLY SHIT! XD
I'm laughing, but I also feel sorry for you.
5:30 That started okay, but then it went into unneeded territory. Problem seems to be over explaining something that should be more instantaneous as well as wordiness. Both could easily be fixed by, you guessed it, editors doing their job.
Kassie Boyd literally my first thought too.
I truly understand you. I hated the series so much that I had to reread all of it twice to find the reason for my reaction. Literally, everything is wrong with it.
4:07 - 4:40 I really like the part about your father's "bad writing example" about how a man was walking across the field. I'm a writer myself and I am kinda guilty of doing the same thing. Which is why when I edit, I try to find things to cut out a lot of things and to get On with the story. Like editing walking moments, over-descriptive backgrounds, take two scenes and make them into one, unnecessary exposition, etc.
Title: _New Moon Is The Worst Book I've Ever Read_
*Surprising literally no one*
Wait until you get to the last goddamn book. I can't even remember what it's called now but it's about eight billion times worse.
There was a point I thought these books were decent. But the fourth book broke me and turned me into a rather vehement anti while the series was at its peak. I frequented the anti-Twilight forums for a goodly while but my vitriol faded into relative indifference. I still think the books are terrible but I have no real anger left anymore.
Yeah, I just couldn't stand the Twilight series. Whenever someone mentions vampires and that series or werewolves and that series in the same sentence, I just want to go up to them and bitchslap them. The Twilight series isn't literature. It's an abomination literally made for hormonal teenage girls.
I read the series twice(rip me) trying to understand why it was so famous. People assume because I like vampires I like this series. And I'm like, BiTCh NO. There are so many better series out there. Your review was 110% correct.
The Originals is good vampire media.
I am Legend is good 'vampire' media.
Twilight is not good vampire media.
I feel as though all the repressed anger and negative energy you had felt while reading this book poured all out through this video. I cannot even fathom the idea of reading a book in which I give less than 4 or 3 and a half stars on goodreads (not anymore at least) so I SALUTE you for sacrificing your precious time to read absolute filth.
Yeah I remember reading this when I was 15 or 16 and thinking, “I may have just read the worst book in my life.”
At 26 now, that hasn’t changed.
5:28 “the face that wasn’t the one that I wanted to see” is such a tongue twister to me
The "half a page about a man walking across a field" reminded me of that one book i bought once of which the first SIX!!! pages were an endlessly ongoing description of how that one summer felt like. SIX! I COUNTED!!
Even worse than 50 Shades Of Grey? I'm so sorry sweetie. Internet hug. We love you.
Worse than 50 Shades of Grey?
Yeesh
ShadowWolfRising It is slightly better than 50 Shades of Grey but that is not saying much.
watching this one after the 6 hour rabbit hole of Empress Theresa is hilarious. Oh, poor Past!KrimsonRogue. You sweet summer child.
New moon was my favorite book in the saga because of Bella's depression. She was so incredibly dull, stupid and selfish in twilight that I got a perverse satisfaction from reading this book x
You've never read After... I'd rather reread the Twilight Saga 5 times in Russian than re-read once again After.
Christ I was stupid when I was a fourteen year old and actually enjoyed these books. My mother and sister who read them after me have no excuse. They were fifty five and thirty respectively. That was ten years ago.
You were not stupid, neither are your relatives. People have different tastes is all.
Yes. But if one's tastes include unironic favour towards such ... works, then is that not indicative of low standards?
Low standards? Maybe. Stupidity? I don't think so.
One maybe indicate the other.
Don't feel bad. 20-something year old me loved the first book because it resonated with something 12-13 year old me would have read....and then I got to book 2 and 4 (I skipped 3 by accident). 12-13 year old me would have hated them, too. You grow out of it.
And your mom and sister probably wanted to share something you enjoyed. That's how I convinced my sibling to read Interview With the Vampire. Then oddly, one of them tried to convince me to read the Twilight series, again, and watch the movies because "You just missed the good part." Honey, no. And the editing in the first movie. I'm no film student or film editor, but even I could tell the pacing was just off.
Me age 12: reads the whole series within a month and loves it
Me now: ew
it's insane to think that the mothers in my family were so enthralled by these books that they straight up neglected their children while reading them. my aunt would lock herself in the bathroom to read this in the bathtub for hours on end while her children were left to fend for themselves
Ignoring children like that is very bad.
If twilight, broke you. God knows what 50 shade of grey will do to you. 😂😂