Matteo Lane-Gay Superpowers

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  • Опубліковано 8 вер 2024
  • Check me out on tour:
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    #MatteoLane #gay #standupcomedian #standupcomedy #special #comedyshorts #comedy_video #comedynyc #newyork #newyorkcity #nyc #nyctour #comedy #standupcomedian #comedian

КОМЕНТАРІ • 1,4 тис.

  • @y1k3ss
    @y1k3ss Рік тому +38610

    love how he censored this bit just for television lmao

  • @crashlanding5867
    @crashlanding5867 Рік тому +532

    I'm a lesbian and bro-
    I had a full conversation with a drag queen, she taught me things. I've never been so confident in myself until I met her. SHOUT OUT TO CAMMY I LOVE U, QUEEN! ❤️

  • @jacobmcclellan7399
    @jacobmcclellan7399 Рік тому +36132

    When you're bi, so you only understand half of the conversation 'He wants to make a bet. Wait, no...he says that he's a vet!'

    • @Grayment
      @Grayment Рік тому +1084

      This comment deserves way more recognition 😂😂
      Edit: ok I think it‘s enough recognition. 😂

    • @shoka_01
      @shoka_01 Рік тому +1170

      FOR REAL. I speak straight and gay but I don’t speak either very well 😂

    • @AutumnTehKitty
      @AutumnTehKitty Рік тому +90

      Omggggg XD

    • @vapsa56
      @vapsa56 Рік тому

      Well... that is because the other half has to have conversations with women. And no one, and I mean NO ONE, can understand a woman. Not even women.
      So you get your wires crossed.

    • @nihilasta2661
      @nihilasta2661 Рік тому +498

      Being Bi means being a whole other kind of Bilingual

  • @kitsuneprincess4637
    @kitsuneprincess4637 Рік тому +1485

    Whereas gay girls will be like "Yeah so she moved in with me and we gave each other rings and had a wedding ceremony but like... what if she only married me AS A FRIEND???"

    • @beepinboopin6454
      @beepinboopin6454 Рік тому +22

      I think they’re just called lesbians

    • @kitsuneprincess4637
      @kitsuneprincess4637 Рік тому +76

      @@beepinboopin6454 We can be called either~ At least, that's how I see it, but we're not a monolith, so others may disagree.

    • @snail2738
      @snail2738 Рік тому +4

      real

    • @Sir_Rat6225
      @Sir_Rat6225 Рік тому +2

      @@snail2738 love your name

    • @emmarie2930
      @emmarie2930 Рік тому +3

      Too accurate 😭😭😭

  • @DavidVanmeterDutch
    @DavidVanmeterDutch Рік тому +4542

    Matteo is not just hilarious but talented as hell, great looking, and incredibly smart. Former opera singer, speaks multiple languages and his personality and energy all adds up to an incredibly charismatic person!!

    • @kauffrau6764
      @kauffrau6764 Рік тому +23

      He is extremely… everything you said!🎉

    • @TheChrisDemo
      @TheChrisDemo Рік тому +49

      Dont forget hes also an artist 😳. Its Matteo's world we're all just living here.

    • @_JustJoe
      @_JustJoe Рік тому +21

      And he paints!

    • @MsLLs
      @MsLLs Рік тому +9

      and he cooks

    • @aaronvanzile3824
      @aaronvanzile3824 Рік тому +6

      I had never ever heard of matteo until he was on one of Schulz's podcasts, I think it was flagrant 2. He was so effortlessly funny the entire time and that's just how he is.

  • @augustgarcia9209
    @augustgarcia9209 Рік тому +316

    “He’s in med school ☺️”
    I can’t 💀💀💀

  • @galasidan
    @galasidan Рік тому +3075

    And not just at bars. Nothing like only having one queer co worker and knowing each other's whole life story without ever talking directly.

    • @wogimmmm
      @wogimmmm Рік тому +5

      SAME

    • @angelangelvr
      @angelangelvr Рік тому +3

      LMAOOO thisss

    • @subscribetomeplease
      @subscribetomeplease Рік тому +1

      Caught in 4k 📸

    • @Matheus_Braz
      @Matheus_Braz Рік тому +14

      Not me, I suck at everything social. Like why y'all be looking at strangers straight im the eye??? I'd be terrified 😢

    • @ducklingscap897
      @ducklingscap897 Рік тому

      Yeah I don’t think that has anything to do with being gay 😂 or most of my friends and I are all malfunctioning gays

  • @uselessSam
    @uselessSam Рік тому +77

    I'm gay and i NEED to know where are yall learning this skill from like is there an entire school meant for teaching gay guys how to communicate by eyes 😭😭😭😭

    • @CatyBee
      @CatyBee 7 місяців тому +3

      Gotta get into the city and find you're peeps. It's a City Gay skill. Country Gay skills are just as amazing but different.

    • @wookinooki9023
      @wookinooki9023 6 місяців тому +1

      Yeeeeah... no. This is not a thing, don't worry. Nobody reads minds. This is known as comedy for tv (otherwise it's pretentious af... or both). Keep being yourself.

    • @wookinooki9023
      @wookinooki9023 6 місяців тому

      ​@@CatyBee wow, so condescending.

    • @CatyBee
      @CatyBee 6 місяців тому +1

      @@wookinooki9023 As a Country Gay, I can confidently say that I didn't intend to be condescending, but you answer the question. There's a big cultural difference between urban and rural areas, and I was encouraging the person to go find like minded folks in bigger cities.
      But I shouldn't have assumed that the commentor is in a small town/rural area. I just assumed that, because I had the same question a long time ago, that my circumstances (and how I resolved it for myself) applied to this person's situation, too. That was a big leap and not considerate.

    • @Sunshine-jy4fc
      @Sunshine-jy4fc 6 місяців тому +1

      Learn it from close friendships with women

  • @ShirokumaSama
    @ShirokumaSama Рік тому +16193

    He made a SFW version just for the show 😂

    • @peter_420
      @peter_420 Рік тому +1

      I was about to say, I thought the version I saw ended with anal lol.

    • @dannysavage1037
      @dannysavage1037 Рік тому +8

      cringe and unfunny

    • @nathan5645
      @nathan5645 Рік тому +272

      ​@@dannysavage1037 cope

    • @dannysavage1037
      @dannysavage1037 Рік тому +6

      @@nathan5645 nah I think you like men dude, might wanna get that checked out

    • @sillygoose42069
      @sillygoose42069 Рік тому +199

      @@dannysavage1037 cringe

  • @s1mpid10t
    @s1mpid10t Рік тому +18

    "and we're gonna make-out, get me a shot!" Coming right up!

    • @doctorslayer2106
      @doctorslayer2106 8 місяців тому

      Then we change the scenario..
      What if it's a Straight Guy making eye contact to a Girl..
      With a devilish stare what would the Girl thinks?! 😁😁😁😁
      For me..
      His a Rapist or a Serial Killer.
      😎😎😎😎

  • @Mehki227
    @Mehki227 Рік тому +4447

    Black folks especially black women can have entire conversations with just our faces. My white female boss told me she loved watching my face in staff meetings. 🤣🤣🤣

    • @chellerounds7608
      @chellerounds7608 Рік тому +143

      Same here!! Can't hide ANYTHING from anyone!!!🤭

    • @edithputhy4948
      @edithputhy4948 Рік тому +197

      I'm black and I have the deadest resting bitch face ever bc of my social anxiety 💀 I can't have people read my face I don't even wanna be here 😭

    • @niax782
      @niax782 Рік тому +47

      BINGO! We can have entire conversations with micro expressions 😂

    • @Mehki227
      @Mehki227 Рік тому +58

      @@edithputhy4948 Same... If I don't want you reading my face, you won't. I was a counselor and would hear horror stories from my clients, my face would never move. Deadpan... Most of the time people think I'm angry. That's just my resting bitch face. It keeps people away from me, which is how I want it. If I let them know me, they always express surprise at how nice (and funny) I am. Otherwise, my face is saying, don't mess with me. 😳 Yeah, I have social anxiety as well.

    • @edenlee1829
      @edenlee1829 Рік тому +18

      Scottish women can do the exact same thing

  • @justmayhem771
    @justmayhem771 Рік тому +9

    Some women can do this too. Being able to have conversations w a friend across the room whilst talking w someone else is a true blessing

    • @Eja132
      @Eja132 Рік тому +3

      I thought it was a girl thing

    • @carolinapillow3310
      @carolinapillow3310 Рік тому

      @@Eja132 because it is. Lately it seems like gays/trans women are trying to constantly erase or compete with cis women…. No hate to them but it’s just an observation I’ve made lately.

  • @asherclawthorne3791
    @asherclawthorne3791 Рік тому +151

    matteo is the funniest, i love his humor

  • @Oliver-vi7mj
    @Oliver-vi7mj Рік тому +17

    Okay but this is genuinely so accurate though, like- I saw this guy the other day and straight up through just eye contact I figured out that he thought I was cute but had a bf (he didn’t think they weren’t gonna last long though)

  • @Bubblegumelectra
    @Bubblegumelectra Рік тому +335

    I’m gay and I need the guy to go up to me and tell me word for word they’re interested for me to actually know what’s going on, when do I get this superpower?

    • @nenaddimi8319
      @nenaddimi8319 Рік тому +23

      I know right. If someone does that to me i will e shy and will never look again hahahah, im so insecure and i think he is mocking me not sending me signals hahahah

    • @AldoHacha
      @AldoHacha Рік тому +12

      I am also deaf to those kinds of signals

    • @tonymarselle8812
      @tonymarselle8812 Рік тому +18

      You make it up and tell straight people about it for laughs……

    • @2fortsmostwanted
      @2fortsmostwanted Рік тому +24

      The joke leaves me feeling kind of out of the loop bc even tho I’m queer, it’s people like me who are super introverted or socially awkward or autistic who are just o b l i v i o u s to eye contact and body language

    • @TCt83067695
      @TCt83067695 Рік тому

      ​@@tonymarselle8812 after all the straights are so gullible

  • @jymbo758
    @jymbo758 Рік тому +13

    He’s in med school he me dying

  • @ceatonbusch
    @ceatonbusch Рік тому +8

    I love that he has a clean version of this joke 🤣🤣

  • @jameskile5113
    @jameskile5113 Рік тому +5

    Me as a straight guy: “this man funny af, my wife better watch out”

  • @_eric_5123
    @_eric_5123 Рік тому +42

    Matteo is funny as hell.

  • @drew5059
    @drew5059 Рік тому +11

    100% facts though! This is a literal thing! When I’m at the gym or a restaurant my gaydar goes off and me and the guy do the look and we both know

  • @londonsage8696
    @londonsage8696 Рік тому +14

    He’s right my cousin is gay and I’ve seen it happen😂😂

  • @Moeller750
    @Moeller750 Рік тому +25

    I swear Matteo could play a whole movie cast on his own, no sfx needed

  • @MM-zs7rp
    @MM-zs7rp Рік тому +25

    When am I going to be able to shake my current Matteo fixation?!? All I want to watch lately ❤

  • @bunglebob
    @bunglebob Рік тому +5

    I’ve got a gay friend and I’ve noticed that he’d make faces like that in parties 😂

  • @LittleDogsOnThePrarie
    @LittleDogsOnThePrarie Рік тому +8

    I love Mateo! Not in a gay way or a straight way, just love his humor and in awe of his genuine talent. Even as a straight woman, I can absolutely appreciate the gay humor. I don't care who you are or what your sexual orientation is, he is hilarious! Anyone who doesn't think so is just an uptight stick in the mud.

  • @trevorh355
    @trevorh355 Рік тому +3

    I love Matteo! He’s so funny and not afraid to laugh at himself.

  • @robbyconatser2126
    @robbyconatser2126 Рік тому +4

    He's amazing. Love him.

    • @zkaluf
      @zkaluf Рік тому

      hey robby love ur beard

  • @Morgan_2720
    @Morgan_2720 Рік тому +2

    Another gay superpower that ive noticed is that we teleport, like no one sees us walk over and they are like "where tf did you come from" so now its this on going joke between my friends that i teleport✨️💅

  • @noahnanes2664
    @noahnanes2664 Рік тому +4

    As a gay myself I can confirm this is so true

  • @tinca66
    @tinca66 9 місяців тому +1

    This guy is such a happy maker... I think I need a gay friend in my life or something. 😄

  • @britishegg5498
    @britishegg5498 Рік тому +10

    Then there is me… who has no clue what people are signaling, ever. I have no idea when a guy is interested lol

  • @freddyb2k4l47
    @freddyb2k4l47 Рік тому +1

    That same look from a straight guy to a woman gets us labeled as a creep.

  • @guillermobanda632
    @guillermobanda632 Рік тому +5

    Mind boggling indeed.

  • @bettawitch4606
    @bettawitch4606 Рік тому +2

    I love when Mateo pops up, I know I am going to cry/laugh.

  • @Grayment
    @Grayment Рік тому +4

    Yeah but that only works in a gay place. Countless times I had intense eye contact with men or they literally stare or glimpse at me (to the point I wonder if something is odd about me) but then two weeks later boom you see them hand in hand with a girl. 😂

    • @mookthemoose520
      @mookthemoose520 Рік тому

      Maybe those men are bi!

    • @Grayment
      @Grayment Рік тому

      @@mookthemoose520 I don‘t want you to lose hope. But I struggled a lot with the interpretation of looks/glances/eye contacts or even flirty moments I received from a lot Men and in my experience sadly in the end it never meant a thing. Even if in retrospect I rightfully felt like there was more and it rightfully wasn‘t clear if these men were straight. Mostly all of them ended up with a girl and believe me once you see them with girl, you really couldn‘t care less if they might be bi. If you feel like someone outside of gay-only-space is interested in you, pls be careful, most of the times you will lose.

  • @tptallen4498
    @tptallen4498 Рік тому +1

    I like how he says that "gay" men have this as a superpower but _men_ in general always had this skill

  • @mehdibelkadi1740
    @mehdibelkadi1740 Рік тому +5

    300 hundred thousand years of evelotion and this what it came to

    • @ahsuniverseslays
      @ahsuniverseslays Рік тому

      Why are you homophobic? Are you really that sad that you are bothered by the love lives of other people?

  • @andrebeaumont5467
    @andrebeaumont5467 Рік тому +1

    I’m one of those gays that lacks this talent , I have a perpetual awkward smile all the time 😂😂

  • @HimForSure
    @HimForSure Рік тому +4

    Haram

    • @hypernewlapse
      @hypernewlapse Рік тому

      What’s that, a turkish dish? Love turkish food

  • @ReadySethGo217
    @ReadySethGo217 5 місяців тому

    "My boyfriend and I could hold conversations entirely without ever opening our mouths. He called it 'shining'."

  • @jibriel4918
    @jibriel4918 Рік тому +5

    disgusting

    • @ahsuniverseslays
      @ahsuniverseslays Рік тому

      Why are you homophobic? Are you really that sad that you are bothered by the love lives of other people?

    • @LexiQueenZA
      @LexiQueenZA Рік тому +1

      Real question is how did this appearon your reels when it picks up what you look at and Google.. helloooo closet

    • @jibriel4918
      @jibriel4918 Рік тому

      @@LexiQueenZA
      Cheap tactics. The closeted-homosexual reply is so stupid that the only ones who use it are the retaded LGBT people and their supporters. There are gazillion correlations that YT algorithm could use to recommend a video of a commedian who happened to be a homosexual.

  • @ryankelly2851
    @ryankelly2851 Рік тому +1

    He's not wrong tbf 😂😂

  • @flickrebeat8936
    @flickrebeat8936 8 місяців тому

    Why is this So Accurate I feel Exposed 😂😂😂

  • @letigre5822
    @letigre5822 8 місяців тому

    It’s the gay smile for me 😂 😂

  • @kokichis6604
    @kokichis6604 Рік тому +1

    Another gay superpower is teleportation

  • @chanmyae5222
    @chanmyae5222 Рік тому +1

    I thought you were Noah Schnapp for a sec 😅😂

  • @LpDodo
    @LpDodo Рік тому +1

    Wow, I never realized I had superpowers being gay
    I really should go out more...

  • @astelius
    @astelius 11 місяців тому +1

    *i’m a pan female and this is how i became friends with my best friend who is also gay. When I saw her at school we kept making eye contact and I did the ‘Are you 🏳️‍🌈?’ gesture so that’s how I met my best friend*

  • @cinknamloh1145
    @cinknamloh1145 6 місяців тому

    This is insanely accurate 😂

  • @homeboyDIY
    @homeboyDIY Рік тому +1

    I freaking love his humor

  • @oluwashinaomisanya7487
    @oluwashinaomisanya7487 Рік тому +2

    Never realized how wildly attractive he is.

  • @fernandopoo8211
    @fernandopoo8211 7 місяців тому

    He already had some shots... love Matteo

  • @MisterVywem
    @MisterVywem Рік тому +1

    The most known gay superpower is that they can see the golden gates of heaven 🫤

  • @auststod
    @auststod Рік тому +26

    So true! 🤣 Glad I caught your tour in Toronto, you are hilarious!

  • @canwedigit
    @canwedigit 6 місяців тому

    😂😂😂 Matteo is hysterical!! And true 😂😂

  • @elzabar_yt
    @elzabar_yt 9 місяців тому

    This power is legit the best ngl 🤭💀

  • @The_G_89
    @The_G_89 Рік тому +1

    Matteo is hilarious, he needs a special. Or at least what are his show dates so maybe i can buy a ticket to one of his events?

  • @samanthab1923
    @samanthab1923 Рік тому +1

    Love Matteo. So funny & really interesting. ❤

  • @eldewgzborracho7653
    @eldewgzborracho7653 Рік тому

    And I'm (straight) looking back at him like..."I think that dude just challenged me to a fight, gimme another beer quick!" 😡💪

  • @Scarlettflitcroft649
    @Scarlettflitcroft649 Рік тому

    Girls there catching on too us 😂😂

  • @ItsTooEarly
    @ItsTooEarly Рік тому +2

    And don't even get me started on the Gaydar, like no matter who it is you can just tell if they're gay or not

  • @shinzowosasageyoooo
    @shinzowosasageyoooo 7 місяців тому

    I love how gay men and women have THE EXACT SAME SUPER POWER

  • @violet2024
    @violet2024 7 місяців тому

    You are such an amazing comedian! Thank you for the laughs! ❤🎉

  • @sarahmack2598
    @sarahmack2598 Рік тому

    Gurls who have been doing this since forever 👏👏👏

  • @omoyemaya
    @omoyemaya Рік тому

    You are the most adorable guy! If only i would have met you 20 years ago!!! Thank you for all the laughs.

  • @SamStarbucker
    @SamStarbucker Рік тому +1

    That superpower must’ve skipped me 😅

  • @anithanithin7115
    @anithanithin7115 Рік тому +2

    This guy should act in movies, they can make a film out of his character 👍

  • @S.E.C-R
    @S.E.C-R 9 місяців тому

    How did I not know you were on Sherri?! I love her… and you, what a perfect combo, I’m going to watch your episode now!!

  • @killianholm2283
    @killianholm2283 Рік тому +1

    My brain seroiusly said : GAYAKENISIS

  • @StinsonSwarley
    @StinsonSwarley 9 місяців тому +1

    There's a Brian Jordan Alvarez bit about this and it's hilarious

  • @Usehernameibarleyknowher
    @Usehernameibarleyknowher Рік тому +2

    As a gay I can confirm this is true

  • @user-zf5wu6iw5w
    @user-zf5wu6iw5w Рік тому

    When your UA-cam reels just start zigzaggin

  • @trippm102
    @trippm102 Рік тому +1

    I’ve known about “the look” since the 90’s thank you Queer As Folk ❤️

  • @daniellesworld4491
    @daniellesworld4491 Рік тому

    I love him! He’s so funny lol

  • @MissingLinkGTRS
    @MissingLinkGTRS Рік тому

    This is too accurate tf

  • @T.A.G862rato
    @T.A.G862rato Рік тому +1

    “He’s in med school *👀*and we’re gonna make out,Give me a shot!🥃”😂

  • @---oq5kb
    @---oq5kb Рік тому +1

    The "Newest First" option never disappoints

  • @nicolivolcoff3516
    @nicolivolcoff3516 5 місяців тому

    He is so adorable ✨

  • @JohnWick-pg1dx
    @JohnWick-pg1dx Рік тому

    First normal gay I've seen in a while

  • @kekelol813
    @kekelol813 Рік тому

    this is the definition of unspoken rizz

  • @matthew6427
    @matthew6427 Рік тому

    This story took a different turn this time. Maybe it was a different day at a different bar 😂

  • @Monsieurjv
    @Monsieurjv 7 місяців тому +1

    So in love with this guy.❤

  • @sjacpswbs03162005
    @sjacpswbs03162005 Рік тому +2

    Neurospicy and gay not sure if I have it in me haha

  • @Jerry-il1eb
    @Jerry-il1eb Рік тому +1

    ABSOLUTELY 💯 PERCENT AGREED CORRECT!!!!;

  • @TortangTalong5899
    @TortangTalong5899 8 місяців тому

    THIS IS SO REAL! 😭

  • @moony3335
    @moony3335 Рік тому

    the shining is real😭

  • @scorpion2245
    @scorpion2245 Рік тому

    Bro has such a cool vibe tho

  • @jolewis2057
    @jolewis2057 Рік тому

    My best friend and i can have a full convo with eye contact 😂😂😂😂

  • @stevenwood6486
    @stevenwood6486 6 місяців тому

    You could look at me like that ANY time!

  • @Quirkykitty
    @Quirkykitty Рік тому

    I can confirm, this is how gays telepathically communicate

  • @lailapreston4025
    @lailapreston4025 Рік тому

    When your pan and your getting all the signals:
    🤪🥴

  • @thexirvrj2442
    @thexirvrj2442 Рік тому

    I could tell EXACTLY what that woman looked like by her laugh. And I was spot the fuck on

  • @jenniferwittenburg8723
    @jenniferwittenburg8723 9 місяців тому

    I love him!! Mateo is so cute❤❤

  • @Xscor98300
    @Xscor98300 Рік тому +1

    the zesty energy tho

  • @astroblaze_
    @astroblaze_ 6 місяців тому

    for a hot second I was thinking “wait I’m gay and I can’t do this what am I missing??” and then I remembered I’m also autistic lmao

  • @bruhbun
    @bruhbun Рік тому

    I mean hes not lying. Lol

  • @yassebro6948
    @yassebro6948 Рік тому

    Forgot to add: works only if you're attractive

  • @kylekirkparick426
    @kylekirkparick426 Рік тому

    I watched this twice. Nice smile. Very nice jawline.

  • @annaharms5391
    @annaharms5391 Рік тому +1

    If only wlw had this power. We are some of the most oblivious queers known to gay kind.

  • @jennifercoleman6218
    @jennifercoleman6218 Рік тому

    He's absolutely my favorite comedian now.