Critiquing My Subscribers Poetry (May 2020: Isolation)

Поділитися
Вставка
  • Опубліковано 13 чер 2020
  • Thank you so so much to everyone who submitted a poem for May's Fresh Poets Society theme 'Isolation'.
    Please go submit your poems for June's theme, Kindness, here:
    www.racheloates.me/fresh-poet...
    Listen to Cerian's music here:
    / @cerian
    ---------------------------
    Instagram: / rachel0ates
    Merch: teespring.com/stores/racheloates
    Support my channel: www.paypal.me/rachel0ates
    Patreon: / racheloates
    My Wishlist: www.amazon.co.uk/hz/wishlist/...
    Kyra's Wishlist: www.amazon.co.uk/hz/wishlist/...
    Support my channel by buying on of these recommended products:
    UK: www.amazon.co.uk/shop/rachelo...
    USA: www.amazon.com/shop/racheloates
    Canada: www.amazon.ca/shop/racheloates
    ---------------------------
    PO Box
    Rachel Oates
    Unit 16588
    PO Box 6945
    London
    W1A 6US
    --------------------------
    A huge thank you to these guys for supporting me on Patreon this month ♥♥♥
    Thank You To All My
    Patreon Supporters This Month!
    Arnaldo van putten
    Breeze is horny
    Caroline S.
    CT Berchem
    Data Jack
    Dylan Blair
    Endorenna
    Joni Miller
    Kevin Conrad
    Kurt Robicheaux
    Lizzy Peasy
    Princess Arylin
    Scott Varney
    Sir Michael Moore
    Stefan Nikolov
    and...
    Anca
    cmdydva
    Cody Holcomb
    Ian T
    Inesa Vytyte
    Jeroen Poels
    Liv’s Pantyhose Addiction
    Loren Hart
    Malachi Oswald
    Môshe van der Sterre
    Naomi Gatehouse
    Peter Kyrouac
    Trae Sprowles
    Tyler
    and...
    Abby
    Alan Stevens
    Alex Hoing
    Alyssa P
    Amy-Louise Darlington
    Andrew H
    Andrew Jennings
    Andrew Jones
    Anna Lynch
    Annie Co
    Ashley Lynn Waldron
    Beth Martin
    BMillzebub
    Bric Mahlum
    Brillig S. Toves
    Brittany Geren
    Charles R.l. Power
    Chris Cox
    Cro-Magnon Gramps
    Dave Hardenbrook
    David Groves
    Dean A. Batha
    Eliana Howard
    Ellavee (nobody)
    Elyse Sauriol
    Emma Burzynski
    Flatterfuchs
    Gary Gehiere
    George Stathoulopoulos
    Glori DiThomas
    Gully Foyle
    hamanime
    Hannah Ledsom
    Hannes Illy
    James Classen
    James Curtis
    James Russell
    Joanna Han
    John R
    Jordan Dundas
    Joseph Gast
    Joshua Crutchfield
    Karla Schnikow
    Katie Faust
    Katie Klebba
    Katy Vaughan
    Klaus-Peter Hammerschmidt
    Lord of Therring
    Lubiniki
    Lydia
    Maggie Wisk
    Marcus Meitzler
    Mark Kessler
    Mark Rice
    Matt
    Max Aldrich
    Maxim K
    Mextli
    Michael Wheatland
    Nicholas Mastrota
    paul
    paul lamadeleine
    Peter de Vries
    Rachael Smith
    Rampaging Marshmallow
    Rebecca Lashua
    Robert Aguero Padilla
    Sarah Kelly
    Sarah Scrawler
    Solvor Megard
    Stacey Peterson
    Stan Zaytsev
    Stefan van den Berg
    Stephen moorhouse
    Steven Gernandt
    Stuart Bower
    Sysosmaster
    Tennomusha
    The Bearded Heathen
    Tim C
    WolfAvatar
    You guys are incredible!! ♥
    ---------------------------
    Patreon: / racheloates
    Don't feel like you have to donate, but please know I'm super-grateful to anyone who does ♥

КОМЕНТАРІ • 216

  • @d.lan3y
    @d.lan3y 4 роки тому +660

    You didn't mention in the first poem how
    "She took his shoulders
    And he took her sides"
    Is such a simple and effective image.

    • @dvgtx44
      @dvgtx44 3 роки тому +4

      As in side-dishes?

    • @d.lan3y
      @d.lan3y 3 роки тому +28

      @@dvgtx44 as in fat. Specifically around the waist.

  • @vb7360
    @vb7360 4 роки тому +752

    you are like the supportive english teacher who everyone likes lmao

  • @farha5620
    @farha5620 4 роки тому +453

    As for the first poem, I think the lack of the food imagery makes some sense actually. Just because the way Rachel suggested describing the phantom/ED (eggshell, rotten food), wouldn't necessarily do justice to the idea that he's a distraction from food, he's anti-food-- if he had cherry lips, I don't think the narrator would have been attracted to him, she's attracted to this image of something thin, full of motion, not weighed down by food (maybe I'm just projecting here from my own previous experience with ED). And as you read that poem, you sort of feel like ED is keeping her spinning / dancing, as it resembles maybe the euphoria that ur brain slips into, when you are barely / not eating.
    On another note, I thought it was cool that in the poem, ED is represented as frail and the narrator is first person, but by the end it switches to third, because you think going into an ED, that you control its time parameters-- how long you'll diet/starve for, and when you'll be ready to go back to regular life once you hit that weight goal-- but the reality is that the eating disorder outlives you,. And yet they didn't use ED as the narrator still by the end -- they used a third person, which I think is supposed to embody the girl's realization that she's lost control and can't stop now. As in, she is still the narrator maybe, she's just completely disassociated from herself.
    One last thing and then I'll chill- it's interesting that ED is a guy. Maybe just so the personification as 'Ed' works, but it's just worth noting bc I think it does a lot of justice to the way people with eating disorders don't necessarily 'want' to continue that lifestyle, even though they 'consent'- mirroring the way a lot of girls I think feel like they no longer have a say with a guy sexually, after she's expressed initial interest. So I think it can give some insight for someone who hasn't necessarily experienced an eating disorder, but has experienced that sort of sexual situation, of how you can feel like Oh Shit, it's already begun, can't deny him now (and by 'him,' i mean the little voice in ur head.)

    • @vb7360
      @vb7360 4 роки тому +34

      I think it could be interpreted both ways,, but that's so clever wow

    • @sophiebach2834
      @sophiebach2834 4 роки тому +33

      I couldnt agree more. I also like that it doesnt use food, it shows that eds are about so much more than food.

    • @catailsrose5318
      @catailsrose5318 4 роки тому +3

      Maybe, but it is a clinical aspect of eating disorders to become preoccupied with food.

    • @lauren6015
      @lauren6015 4 роки тому +9

      I do get what you're saying but I feel like more food imagery would still work because a lot of people with EDs, although they may avoid eating, are obsessed with food in a way. In fact, it's actually very common for people with an ED to surround themselves with food and cook and bake often for those around them.

    • @teagannam
      @teagannam 4 роки тому +1

      Yea, I thought the comparison between ED and a manipulative guy was really interesting

  • @lucideandre
    @lucideandre 4 роки тому +293

    I just had a thought about the eating disorder one. Could the change from 1st to 3rd person represent a loss of recognition of oneself? At first, one has a notion of who they are, what they’re doing. A feeling of control. But by the end, you’ve lost that due to the control that the disorder itself has begun to exert over you.
    I’ve never had an ED myself, but it seems like this could be what it means. At least, that’s what I got from the poem...

    • @ihatemickiegee
      @ihatemickiegee 4 роки тому +10

      yes!!! i think so - especially because of the out of body experience starvation or severe dehydration can give. loss of self and loss of connection to self in several different ways. totally agree.

  • @jackiegonella281
    @jackiegonella281 4 роки тому +103

    I love the first poem! I think the change from first to the third person could be symbolic of how she lost herself to the disorder so she says "she" instead of I"

    • @valeriarossini543
      @valeriarossini543 4 роки тому +5

      that's so smart!! I didn't think about it but it makes total sense

  • @britann9539
    @britann9539 4 роки тому +177

    40 minutes isnt too long for me.
    I think your audience has the attention span for a 60 minute video. Specifically for something like this - u could fit in a couple more poems. And if uninterested in a particular poem thry can ffw

  • @Jarblyy
    @Jarblyy 4 роки тому +39

    On a technical level yes the ED poem had flaws but the emotional reaction it induced in me was extremely strong which shows the effectiveness of the imagery. It was so cold, as it should be.

  • @darcy501
    @darcy501 4 роки тому +125

    Came for the skepticism
    Stayed for the poetry
    Madam, I am genuinely impressed with the side of you that you are showing right now. Your love for poetry has made me go back to it after a decade or more of not even reading it in fear I wouldn't "get" it.
    I am really happy to have gone back to it now, I am just super happy to be part of this in a small way. I might give a try to the poetry submissions, once I muster some courage.

    • @bearhugsleafbugs
      @bearhugsleafbugs 4 роки тому +2

      I know there’s a chance you forgot about this, but if you want to give them a try, I liked your comment. And I think I’d like your poem.
      So I hope you’re able to find the courage! And I wish you luck with reading and writing poetry

  • @EnvyAliceBand
    @EnvyAliceBand 4 роки тому +95

    I liked the 'dancing with Ed' poem, I felt the emotion although I've never experienced it. I feel like it helped me understand the disorder more. I agree with the development notes. The only thing I would add to it was it'd help if the type of rhyme was consistent all the way through whether they're half or full.

    • @lsmmoore1
      @lsmmoore1 4 роки тому +6

      I like the fact that she personified the disorder as an abuser - a male one who acts in a way consistent with chauvinistic men who think they are "nice" to women. Because in a way, disorders like that are like abusers - they promise women the ability to live up to impossible sexist standards that they can never live up to.
      This seems even more apt when you consider how eating disorders can manifest in men subject to standards of toxic masculinity. I read about one such example in a book called "The Man They Wanted Me To Be: Toxic Masculinity and a Crisis of Our Own Making", which is an autobiography/analysis of exactly what it says on the tin. The man (and his father before him) had both had eating disorders which they never sought help for due to the false perception that anorexia is a "girl disease". Both eating disorders consisted of the men living on beer and tiny amounts of the kind of snacks you might get in a pub (succinctly summed up n the book as living on "almonds and Miller Lite") and both consisted of the men compulsively exercising as they lived on that sparse diet that was nearly devoid of nourishment and full of toxic substances. If you took that Ed analogy further to describe this, you could say he's playing the sweet romantic gentleman for the women, then he turns around, approaches men subject to toxic masculinity, and dons his drill sergeant fatigues, promising men that he will "make men out of them".
      It would probably be a good counterpoint if a man subjected to this kind of toxic masculinity and had such an eating disorder, and liked poetry, got out of the toxically masculine mindset, and wrote his own poem (with tribute given o the original writer) of what "Ed" did to him with false promises of manhood, with further imagery about Ed being a liar and pretending and giving one face to one person and another face to another, and also the ways in which men are prevented from seeking help. Seeing those two perspectives juxtaposed would highlight, on a visceral level, the ways in which eating disorders help prop up stereotypical gender roles across the board. Which they clearly do.

    • @EnvyAliceBand
      @EnvyAliceBand 4 роки тому +2

      @@lsmmoore1 Wow. Really amazing in-depth analysis that I didn't even think of. I think what you said about Ed being a classic abusive male figure may have been why it's so relatable and understandable even if you haven't experienced an eating disorder personally because let's face it who hasn't met a guy like that. As you said men could probably point out a guy like that and label him as 'the picture of masculinity' which continues the cycle of eating disorders in all genders whether directly by telling people "you need to be this way" or indirectly by just existing then people feel under pressure to live up to the standard even if the person who has the disorder knows it's not the way it's supposed to be.

  • @duskmallow
    @duskmallow 4 роки тому +185

    I'd love to participate, but English is not my native language and even though I'm fluent, I don't think I have enough control over the language to write poetry.

    • @nekishabrown-jolie7992
      @nekishabrown-jolie7992 4 роки тому +49

      I can tell by this comment that you are more than ready to write poetry! 👏🏻

    • @f.e.ybane.7734
      @f.e.ybane.7734 4 роки тому +52

      Give it a shot, you never know! English is not my native language either, but the writing process was really fun anyways!

    • @marlowem9045
      @marlowem9045 4 роки тому +14

      I feel the same way, but I still write in english most of the time, some of the poems are funny because of it and the sense of not having control can add to the writing process, I think you'll be fine

    • @myemoreligion
      @myemoreligion 4 роки тому +16

      I relate,, especially because my knowledge of a lot of synonyms and stuff like that is kind of limited. Although i think there is quite a lot of value in simple poetry, or even poetry in which you throw in metaphors that relate to your native language. For example, in dutch, which is my native language, the word "bank" means both bank and couch. So if id ever write poetry, i like to throw in "bank" as a reference both laziness and money. So using your non-nativeness as a place of inspiration can also be interesting in poetry!

    • @Max-jf5vu
      @Max-jf5vu 4 роки тому +6

      I can definitely relate to this. I study French and German at university but I would never dare to try and write a poem in either language - I still find it difficult in my native language (English)

  • @beingsocialwasnevermyforte
    @beingsocialwasnevermyforte 4 роки тому +22

    that short one about the flower, just *wow*

  • @shelbydorman5878
    @shelbydorman5878 4 роки тому +41

    isolation i could work with but kindness? my emo ass can only try lol.

  • @KnightOwlization
    @KnightOwlization 4 роки тому +51

    I’ve missed my poetry class so much since quarantine cut it short. This video is making me nostalgic and I love you! 🤟🏼

  • @ericavarela6754
    @ericavarela6754 4 роки тому +34

    Thank you for thanking us, but; the thank you belongs to you. you're magnificent! this was lovely.

  • @medagan8243
    @medagan8243 4 роки тому +149

    Kinda bummed my poem didn't make it but hell yeah that's a good video

    • @f.e.ybane.7734
      @f.e.ybane.7734 4 роки тому +16

      Same! Are you going to submit again for the new theme?

    • @medagan8243
      @medagan8243 4 роки тому +23

      @@f.e.ybane.7734 yeah honestly I just love getting prompts anyway so why not

    • @alexandrucristian8797
      @alexandrucristian8797 4 роки тому +18

      Post it here!

    • @karolinamikeskova8043
      @karolinamikeskova8043 4 роки тому +3

      Post it here in the comments!!

    • @medagan8243
      @medagan8243 4 роки тому +20

      @@alexandrucristian8797
      "Drowning in, like, really shallow water" by me
      I'm drowning in a bathtub
      4 centimeters deep
      I've been doing it for years
      That's where I sleep
      That's where I eat
      Nose pressed against the slippery floor
      Sometimes I hear my family knocking on the door
      I never answered and I never will
      Because for the moss on my back to grow,
      I gotta stay still
      Wouldn't want to bother the flies
      They're just feeding on my slowly rotting skin
      And the worms digging into my meat
      Deeper! Deeper!
      Go in! Go in!
      We'll make beautiful holes in his lungs!
      In his heart!
      What do you mean morals? We're his imaginary insects, we don't care about that!
      ----------
      English isn't my first language so feel free to tell me if anything sounds weird!

  • @brettmarlar4154
    @brettmarlar4154 4 роки тому +23

    As being a person, who has been nocturnal for most of their life, I don't personally feel that there's anything wrong with it. That said, there is a certain melancholy to the sounds of those first bird songs in the morning. Especially if you've been awake tending to a broken heart. But when I'm hear those birds after a night of composing, I see the chirping sound as a "hey, go to bed"! I would love to hear the music that is meant to go along with it.

  • @marlowem9045
    @marlowem9045 4 роки тому +22

    you have a moomin lamp! I adore it

  • @whalechief
    @whalechief 4 роки тому +53

    i kept having that anxiety rachel was gonna knock over the wine glass asdfsdfd

    • @Amirous
      @Amirous 4 роки тому +2

      Omg! Same

  • @britann9539
    @britann9539 4 роки тому +12

    Dancing with Ed was so good

  • @serenawestphal9610
    @serenawestphal9610 4 роки тому +9

    Oh my gosh the ocean one got to me. It sounds exactly how my first love went and how i felt during it and after it. I adore it so much ❤️

  • @Aging_Casually_Late_Gamer
    @Aging_Casually_Late_Gamer 4 роки тому +17

    I'm sure it's been said already but that entire outfit ensemble is just, Wow. Perfection. Looks amazing. And so does Kyra like always.

  • @vaness8996
    @vaness8996 4 роки тому +20

    Oh my gooood, your critique and ideas are absolutely amazing, and the passion in your voice😻 I love you to pieces Rachel 💛

  • @Max-jf5vu
    @Max-jf5vu 4 роки тому +16

    Really enjoyed your discussion about these poems, they really are super high-quality! Your forum idea is actually a very good one, everyone will feel like they know for sure that their poem has been acknowledged and appreciated. Hopefully I'll actually submit a poem this time...

  • @yeolivman6987
    @yeolivman6987 4 роки тому +31

    I LOVE LOVE LOVE the fourth poem. I love allusions to greek mythology and this was just really powerful. My only critic is that I feel like the questions are a bit overused. Questions are really good as gut-punches but putting so many of them all together makes them lose their impact a bit. I think there is a better way to express some of those points

    • @eleavauclair5742
      @eleavauclair5742 4 роки тому +6

      hi, i wrote that poem :) glad you liked it, I'll take the questions thing into consideration, thanks !

    • @marianav1746
      @marianav1746 4 роки тому +6

      Eléa Vauclair your poem really stuck with me. I really related to it and loved just the feeling I got from it. It was very soulful in a way and personal. I’m going to be re-reading it for the next few weeks now 😂 you’re an amazing writer ❤️

    • @eleavauclair5742
      @eleavauclair5742 4 роки тому +3

      @@marianav1746 thank you so much, I'm so glad (and kinda relieved) people like it ! I was so afraid I'd made grammar errors cause it's not my first language lol

  • @MollyWat
    @MollyWat 4 роки тому +8

    Loved the video and super looking forward to the rest of this series already! One thing I want to add though is that I feel like the ED poem’s shift from first to third person is a deliberate choice to signify the girl’s loss of identity and sense of self. It reminded me of The Edible Woman by Margaret Atwood, where the protagonist becomes so caught up with the thought of being “consumed” that she becomes literally unable to eat anything and loses her grip on reality and her self-identity; if I remember correctly, the book then temporarily changes from first to a third person narrative.

  • @namelessshameless1505
    @namelessshameless1505 4 роки тому +8

    The poem that's at around 30 mins is absolutely beautiful. I really loved the imagery after she "woke up", I also adore the structure of the verses, and the rhyming scheme throughout, as well as the appearance aspect of the poem, and how it was used to further describe sensations. However, I feel like the water metaphor is a very common one when used in this way, and while it could have been used, I feel like it could have been done in a way that's more unique. Awesome work!
    *Edited to elaborate on a point.

  • @mkmcnicoll6354
    @mkmcnicoll6354 4 роки тому +8

    I liked that in dancing with ED it’s kind of like a pun because it’s Ed (name) and Eating Disorder so it works even more (that might be obvious but it’s cool) also a great poem.

  • @learnerlove6853
    @learnerlove6853 4 роки тому +11

    Love this as an idea and a community

  • @halfgodfairy8654
    @halfgodfairy8654 4 роки тому +69

    Me, hearing about the idea with the prompts: omg id love to participate
    Me, realising english isnt my native languege and how everytime i tried writing an english poem i failed really hard because i dont have the same way with words in english like i have in my native languege:
    ... :(

    • @megmeg2784
      @megmeg2784 4 роки тому +8

      Maybe you could work with someone who is fluent in both languages if you know anyone? Or maybe get someone fluent in English to check it and work through it with you?? I don’t know how you’d get around it, but I’m sure you’ll find a way 💗

    • @jigubigule13
      @jigubigule13 4 роки тому +6

      Honestly same. I didn't submit anything because of this issue too, and it really made me feel super down. But if you really like this idea you should try it, even if you don't submit it right away, maybe it will help you improve your english and give you the courage you need. I'm gonna do this too, I'm gonna take the prompt, write something and if I'm happy with it I'm gonna submit it too, and I think you should too, I would love to read your poetry and compare it to mine since english is not our first language. We can improve.

    • @halfgodfairy8654
      @halfgodfairy8654 4 роки тому +1

      @@jigubigule13 thanks for the encouragement

    • @halfgodfairy8654
      @halfgodfairy8654 4 роки тому +1

      @@megmeg2784 I dont really know anyone whos fluent in english :( but thanks for the idea and encouragement!

    • @anab.5536
      @anab.5536 4 роки тому +1

      I think you should try nonetheless, thesaurus can be of great help if you don't overdo it! I'll be doing the same because english isn't my native language either:)

  • @duckduckno
    @duckduckno 4 роки тому +6

    Your criticism was in-depth and fantastic. Thank you for the video, I think it was amazing!

  • @anitaayres830
    @anitaayres830 4 роки тому +3

    i just love that you're encouraging everyone here to keep creating, writing and learning, you're a sweetheart and i can't wait to write a new poem for next month 💛 thank you for your amazing content and attention!

  • @gh0st.k1d
    @gh0st.k1d 4 роки тому +37

    The new theme is kindness and of the 80+ poems I have collected, I have none relating to kindness 🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️ I'm too pessimistic for that :"))))

    • @ricardoguerra7703
      @ricardoguerra7703 4 роки тому +8

      You could write in that perspective... How hard it is to have kindness in a world like the one we live in!

    • @isavel.xo97
      @isavel.xo97 4 роки тому +1

      same i was like oooh im entering then i saw the prompt and went nevermind 🙃

    • @brokemage1395
      @brokemage1395 4 роки тому +1

      Same. I have some about jealousy, betrayal, love, pain, sorrow, but no kindness.

    • @gh0st.k1d
      @gh0st.k1d 4 роки тому +1

      @@ricardoguerra7703 yea, I'm trying to work on one that goes along that vein :"))) Still hard lmao, but who doesn't live a challenge

  • @ems9616
    @ems9616 7 місяців тому +2

    For the first poem- I love how fey it feels, it reminds me of old fairy/haunting/ghost stories in Britain and Ireland- where a mortal gets entangled in the web of an otherwordly creature which gives them 'gifts' which then drain and destroy the person. In some way that bewitching theme- and the lack of food metaphores- really hit hard. The loss of control, the draining, the lying, then innevitable abandonment. It starts out feeling like a gothic romance and in the end feels like an old, gory fairy story. In that way i wonder if the start and the end are meant to mirror the way EDs are romantasised in society and the brutal, deadly reality of them.

  • @teagannam
    @teagannam 4 роки тому +6

    Aw I wish I’d heard abt this bc just a few months ago I wrote a poem pretty specific to this theme! It’s called two thousand and twenty (formatting might look a bit off if ur on mobile, sorry)
    There is no brimstone and fire.
    The air is mild and the sun is bright
    And if not for the news alerts buzzing
    From my bedside table
    It would be the birdsong that wakes me.
    The house is cleaner than it has ever been
    And we have started a vegetable garden
    That is actually starting to grow.
    Neighbors smile, I think, under patterned cloth
    And everywhere it is quiet
    and oh
    so
    still,
    Except where it is not.
    But we will be quiet about that too,
    And very very still
    So that it will not see us move
    Or hear us
    Breathe.
    A very smart lady once said that the world dies with a
    whimper.
    And she was right, of course.
    But it tries to die with a scream,
    A bellowing, shrieking, angry scream
    That will not be heard
    Through the hoarse throat and tired lungs
    And the bated breath of seven billion
    And the desperate, creeping
    Quiet.
    There is no brimstone and fire.
    But this is a place worse than hell,
    Because in this place the innocent burn
    And sinners fan the flames
    And everyone pretends
    That it is quiet.

  • @Orphealerote
    @Orphealerote 4 роки тому +4

    "crap" and "hell of a lot of -" are my favourite Rachel Oates-specific phrases.
    Also loved all these poems, Rachel Oates fans are really, really talented. The last one and the one that was a song by her friend were my favourites, but each one had so much to offer in terms of ideas, description, and talent. Also some lovely editing ideas Rachel brought forward. I was excited to see this video since this project was announced and it didn't disappoint at all.

  • @welcometorealiti1244
    @welcometorealiti1244 4 роки тому +10

    yaaay, been waiting for this !

  • @emilyg1562
    @emilyg1562 4 роки тому

    Oh my god your community is so skilled!!! It’s really amazing! I’m actually not really into poetry and I’m even less into writing poems myself, but I’ll still watch these videos and be just amazed by how good all of these are 😍

  • @RoastedSaltedPeanut
    @RoastedSaltedPeanut 4 роки тому +1

    I wish I could explain how valuable your poetry videos are to me! Thanks for this Rachel!

  • @JDlovescats979
    @JDlovescats979 4 роки тому +3

    These were so amazing!

  • @scarletstarlet773
    @scarletstarlet773 4 роки тому +23

    Crap, just realised a poem i've written before would have be perfect for that theme, such a shame i didn't think of submitting it before

    • @samoldpal9645
      @samoldpal9645 4 роки тому +3

      I just remembered i had one too after reading your comment and now i feel terrible. It fit the theme perfectly

    • @telescope_6990
      @telescope_6990 4 роки тому +6

      Hey!! Please post them here, I love poetry so much and I hate to think I missed an opportunity to read a few, so if you’d feel comfortable posting them here I would literally die of happiness

  • @harmonicamanrandy
    @harmonicamanrandy 4 роки тому +49

    I should check this poetry stuff out more. It might help me to write better blues lyrics.
    Also to flirt and maybe get a free pie.

  • @jellojackalopes
    @jellojackalopes 4 роки тому +25

    Sorry I couldn't do anything for the first one. Everything kind of hit the fan around May.

  • @Stormy177
    @Stormy177 4 роки тому +11

    Some of those poems were amazing! Kinda glad I never finished mine...

    • @RachelOates
      @RachelOates  4 роки тому +15

      I’m sure yours would have been amazing too! We’re always way more critical of our own work. I’d love to see what you’ve written / what you write in the future though :)

  • @Sara-rj5gi
    @Sara-rj5gi 4 роки тому

    Such an amazing video - you are so smart and give amazing critiques! Also your makeup is so gorgeous, I can't stop looking at it

  • @PaulaJimena
    @PaulaJimena 4 роки тому +2

    "But is it a life if it doesn't have an end? Who is lonelier? Who has been blessed? The girl who lived and dies, or Death, who can never truly rest?"... WOW... as someone who's obsessed with immortality and wishing I could live forever because my curiosity about what the future holds is too powerful, this bit in particular really got to me. I loved all the poems, I feel super inspired to write something now hahaha

  • @ManicChangeling
    @ManicChangeling 4 роки тому

    Thank you so much for this! I didn't join in on the first one, but I'm having a great time providing feedback and critique in the forum now.

  • @pixiemaimon1216
    @pixiemaimon1216 4 роки тому +4

    You'd be an amazing teacher omg I wish you would teach me I can listen to you for HOURS

  • @wotsits
    @wotsits 3 роки тому +1

    OH MY GOD I LOVE THEM ALL EVERYONE IS SO TALENTED

  • @AveryTalksAboutStuff
    @AveryTalksAboutStuff 4 роки тому +9

    I love this video idea!

  • @d.o.m.i.
    @d.o.m.i. 3 роки тому +2

    i feel like the short poem about the flower is about people who have been inside their homes, that feeling of being almost dead but waiting for something to happen, idk

  • @yuliaa7573
    @yuliaa7573 4 роки тому +5

    I love this!

  • @loxee4769
    @loxee4769 4 роки тому

    I'm absolutely in love with "I've always been afraid of water." The imagery is wonderfully powerful.

  • @jimmylbarker13
    @jimmylbarker13 4 роки тому

    Glad to hear your voice, Rachel! 🖖

  • @sinis5731
    @sinis5731 4 роки тому

    This is an awesome video idea! I usually write kind of a mix between poetry and journaling and never intend to come back to my writings as i use them more as a stream of consciousness type of mental exercise but this got me inspired to try to make something more out of my writing! thanks

  • @chosenepicurus
    @chosenepicurus 4 роки тому +2

    As usual, very interesting video. Thank you.

  • @honeyboo9902
    @honeyboo9902 4 роки тому +1

    The poem that was referring to the water was beautiful! I've always preferred classical poetry but I actually enjoy the modern twist. I feel like a lot of young poets use these "line breaks" and most of the time they seem random and just there to make some lines look like poetry. Here however I felt like every break and place had a purpose. I really did enjoy this one. I wish I knew who the author was, I would love to write to them myself!

  • @solastacey127
    @solastacey127 4 роки тому +5

    i could listen to you talk about poetry for hours! poetry podcast perhaps? 👀

  • @Fruityflootloops
    @Fruityflootloops 4 роки тому +1

    Oh no!!!! I must have missed it I was waiting to submit mine! I have been working on my book in fact.

  • @d.o.m.i.
    @d.o.m.i. 3 роки тому +2

    also the poem about the girl in the river telling her to trust reminded me a lot of my first relationship and it wasn't pleasant but it was really accurate. good job

    • @v1olante
      @v1olante 3 роки тому

      I really liked that one!!

  • @lenihaylett4674
    @lenihaylett4674 3 роки тому

    if only you were my English teacher. great video too. I've learnt so much about Poetry. Thx

  • @Braundzign
    @Braundzign 4 роки тому +2

    I had a substance abuse issue that had me awake at the wrong time and I HATED seeing the sunrise and hearing those early morning birds. Then I exacerbated my anxiety/depression and found myself “on the wrong side” of the morning and double hating it because it reminded me of my past substance abuse.

  • @mmilcz833
    @mmilcz833 4 роки тому +3

    I definitely deeply relate to the nocturnal poem

  • @KnightOwlization
    @KnightOwlization 4 роки тому +4

    I’d love a blue sticker! But I’ll still totally buy a pink one if that doesn’t work out 💕

  • @ihatemickiegee
    @ihatemickiegee 4 роки тому

    i love that 2nd (the song) one, i would love to hear it as a slow but deep tempo on piano or guitar, mad respect

  • @WAAAAAAHAHAHAHAAAA
    @WAAAAAAHAHAHAHAAAA 4 роки тому +3

    your outfit is FIRE

  • @kellycowley3535
    @kellycowley3535 4 роки тому +2

    The bit with the magpie in 'Under the street light' made me think of my grandma and her dementia :( .
    (I know that's not what the poem is about but I couldn't help but compare the rest of the poem to her.)

  • @NylaTheWolf
    @NylaTheWolf 4 роки тому

    I've always loved poetry and I'm so glad you are doing this Fresh Poets Society stuff! I have quite a few ideas but I don't always know how to put it into words or if my lines are good. I feel like you should start up a discord or something.

  • @sofiaaviles668
    @sofiaaviles668 4 роки тому +3

    I cried at the first poem 😅 Never thought a poem could make me react like hat

  • @dien3745
    @dien3745 4 роки тому +3

    Damn this makes me sad. I didn't know how to submit poems and by coincidence I actually wrote a poem about isolation last month that I really really would have loved to submit. Oh well, I'll be entering every month from now on!

  • @danieldini8685
    @danieldini8685 3 роки тому

    this look is SERVINGG

  • @mmilcz833
    @mmilcz833 4 роки тому +1

    I would’ve also liked a mention of the pale light of the sun in the poem about the morning

  • @syrollesse
    @syrollesse 4 роки тому +2

    You make me want to write poems omfg

  • @kyleiq1912
    @kyleiq1912 4 роки тому

    great video rachel, this has definitely pushed me to work on my writing, your critiques in particular. i hope one of my poems will make it to your analyzing pile one day, it would be so cool to get some constructive criticism from you!

  • @melelence5937
    @melelence5937 4 роки тому +5

    I was to anxious to send any of mine, still am, people are so good at poetry ;;

  • @Michelle-kw8dc
    @Michelle-kw8dc 4 роки тому

    In the first one -- you say to play with structure and form and I had the same thought but in rhythm. It's a dance, and she is being lead. When the rhythm and stresses start to trip up could be an effective way of showing stress, falling apart, and being lead astray.
    In the second one -- What would be very cool when talking about including other senses in the experience of being on the wrong side, I wonder if it would be add more disorientation to bring more in about more internal senses, like our sense of balance and positioning in a room, depth perception, kinesthetic senses, etc.
    Well done, guys

  • @evelynbaran8478
    @evelynbaran8478 4 роки тому

    please to a part two!!! i wanna submit my poetry

  • @PeoplecallmeLucifer
    @PeoplecallmeLucifer 4 роки тому +5

    Mood

  • @jakes8409
    @jakes8409 4 роки тому

    you look amazing and your content is lovely :D

  • @mymessynotebook2207
    @mymessynotebook2207 4 роки тому

    For the first one I think it would be really neat to see, like Rachel said, she is first surrounded by family and friends and then at the end they are further away or completely gone

  • @PoetryETrain
    @PoetryETrain 3 роки тому

    Very cool... Shared & Subscribed.

  • @Vampire_Nightshade
    @Vampire_Nightshade 3 роки тому +1

    18:30 maybe she can smell the scent of freshly baked pastries coming from the bakery downstars. The doors are opening, the customers are coming for breakfast, she'd like to join them, but it's bedtime

  • @CMDRunematti
    @CMDRunematti 4 роки тому +2

    not really into poems, clicked for the rad top.

  • @doctora.snakeman1427
    @doctora.snakeman1427 4 роки тому +3

    Is that a Moomin light in the background bc if so I love that

  • @uhohhotdog9150
    @uhohhotdog9150 4 роки тому

    Now we just need a video where you read us your poetry...

  • @sarasidha3765
    @sarasidha3765 Рік тому +1

    There is a dog in the class
    And wine in the glass
    Why aren't you subscribe?
    Or doctor will prescribe

  • @zabrinabaharburhanova2370
    @zabrinabaharburhanova2370 3 роки тому +1

    (Heraeth, missing a home that never been your home)
    Oh heraeth
    The never ending longing
    The sickness in my stomach
    For a place that smells like home.
    A home where i've not lived
    Nor seen,or felt or kissed
    I close my eyes, i almost reach
    But then it yanks me, it forbids.
    So i call out in the darkness
    A fog guiding my breath.
    Im crying for some guidance
    Heraeth hear my wish.

  • @cold.raviolis
    @cold.raviolis 4 роки тому

    Wow I really love Dancing with Ed. I feel like it really captures how an ED can be so beautiful and so ugly at the same time, I don't know it really made me feel something

  • @nicorizzo5402
    @nicorizzo5402 4 роки тому +1

    The first poem reminded me of Black Swan!

  • @liamodonovan6610
    @liamodonovan6610 4 роки тому +6

    So good to see you rachel you are always stunning love your channel love the fingerless gloves you always have a cute style your awesome rachel love you so much

  • @biseragjurovska9868
    @biseragjurovska9868 4 роки тому +3

    Even though it's a criminal offence I'm definitely stealing that outfit, sorry Rachel. Also holy shit this was awesome!

    • @RachelOates
      @RachelOates  4 роки тому +3

      Haha go for it! The demon jumpsuit I’m wearing is from BooHoo and currently on sale if you want to check it out! :)

    • @biseragjurovska9868
      @biseragjurovska9868 4 роки тому

      @@RachelOates thanks for the info, also I just wanted to say I love that there's this little poetry corner on UA-cam I can listen to! I started an oratory club and I'm learning a lot about the art of rhetoric and improving myself during quarantine so this really helps get me even more into the mood as poetry is one of those things that just has to be read out loud to fully grasp the awesomeness of it! In any case, keep doing an amazing job, we love you Rachel!

  • @katbatson
    @katbatson 4 роки тому +1

    Dang I didn’t even know this was happening, I wish I could’ve submitted something.

  • @jacquelinecurry4473
    @jacquelinecurry4473 3 роки тому

    I am new to your poetry site, but I think what you are doing is wonderful, your passion and
    intelligence. I wrote a few poems after watching your what is good poetry video. It's march 2021 now, so I missed the boat for "isolation". But I have got a poem for that theme. Is it
    too late to submit it?

  • @giadaloporto2275
    @giadaloporto2275 4 роки тому +2

    What will the next category be???

  • @yeolivman6987
    @yeolivman6987 4 роки тому

    With finals and college stuff I never had the chance to write one for May's prompt but I'm excited for next month

    • @yeolivman6987
      @yeolivman6987 4 роки тому

      God I really relate to that second poem and I would absolutely love to hear it as a song

    • @yeolivman6987
      @yeolivman6987 4 роки тому

      Honestly, I don't have much to say about the third one cuz short poems arent my thing but its so whimsical and like you said all the sounds work together in a lovely way

    • @yeolivman6987
      @yeolivman6987 4 роки тому

      I really love the line "garbled radio mind"

  • @vallisdaemonumofficial
    @vallisdaemonumofficial 4 роки тому +12

    All of my poetry ends up in my songs.
    It's mostly about negative things,
    and the more 'positive' things are NSFW.
    I may have to start releasing music elsewhere.
    I'm not willing to censor myself.

  • @thescientificmusician3531
    @thescientificmusician3531 4 роки тому +3

    I just finished "The Mystery of the Exploding Teeth." What a great book with cringe-inducing cases (I'm a guy--Yikes)! My favorite was the case of spontaneous human combustion; a woman surrounded by a solution of camphor and candles followed by an explosion. If you're interested in women astronomers at the Harvard Observatory in the early 1900s, read Dava Sobel's "The Glass Universe." It's highly recommendable!

  • @denaegarnham3641
    @denaegarnham3641 4 роки тому +1

    Hey! I was just wondering. If we missed last months submission, could we still submit it on the forum as a way to potentially receive feedback or do we just miss it? Just curious. ☺️

  • @bee9892
    @bee9892 4 роки тому

    i wish i could’ve made it to the live but maybe next time

  • @selma9450
    @selma9450 4 роки тому +1

    4:35 thatreminds meof the last scene of the movie black swan

  • @jjsiu6481
    @jjsiu6481 4 роки тому +2

    These were all good poems. I liked the imagery in them. I've submitted a poem for June. I've started posting poems on June 5th on my Instagram @jjsiupoetry and plan on posting one per day until July 5th. Rachel, thanks for the forum. I'm excited to read the other poems there.