The Best Jokes About MY GIRLFRIEND | Jimmy Carr

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  • Опубліковано 16 вер 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 137

  • @michaelprice9159
    @michaelprice9159 2 роки тому +266

    Of course Jimmy cries after sex, pepper spray really stings.

  • @gillhann244
    @gillhann244 2 роки тому +83

    Jimmy you are an incredibly clever man, the jokes and come backs at the audiences just roll off your tongue like velvet. Jimmy carr I bloody love you.

    • @mrsleep0000
      @mrsleep0000 2 роки тому +2

      Yeah, he was especially clever when he was punching down on the unvaxxed, such a great guy!

    • @Maximilian260592
      @Maximilian260592 2 роки тому +3

      @@mrsleep0000 you can never punsh down to much on a antivaxx idiot

    • @rob-890
      @rob-890 2 роки тому +2

      @@Maximilian260592 it's too not to

    • @lachiesmart8710
      @lachiesmart8710 2 роки тому +1

      @@mrsleep0000 punches down in everyone dunno what you need to be so entitled to that

    • @musicloverme3993
      @musicloverme3993 Рік тому

      @@rob-890 It's, "to be or not to be."

  • @Susansays1
    @Susansays1 2 роки тому +35

    Love ya Jimmy. The whole world needs more laughter in these times. Thanks for the 🤣 🤣.

  • @ImACompulsiveLiar
    @ImACompulsiveLiar 2 роки тому +25

    Oi oi. Jimmy, you've made me laugh again. Keep up the amazing work you do

  • @JamesParker-qh2ei
    @JamesParker-qh2ei 7 місяців тому

    Jimmy., your jokes can melt the cares of winter away. You are a master of humor. Like all masters now and before . What you provide is far better than anything given above, over, or beneath the Rx counter. Forget the dealers and the "$l@gs". Laugher is the best medicine. Thank you Jimmy.

  • @dadjokeschannel
    @dadjokeschannel 2 роки тому +98

    My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair
    Guess who came crawling back

  • @sneakybinders
    @sneakybinders 2 роки тому +7

    These never get old

  • @shikhar.awasthi
    @shikhar.awasthi 2 роки тому +4

    Jimmy and Ricky with their girlfriend jokes! 🤣🤣

  • @natajohn
    @natajohn 2 роки тому +5

    Have I thought about what, putting a third finger in?🤣🤣🤣 we could give it a go but I don't think that's what the relationship is missing.
    This guy is hilarious!!😄😄

  • @johndoe-is2fw
    @johndoe-is2fw 2 роки тому +4

    I dont watch german television, for 10 years now. But I watch so much british shows produced for it on youtube. its kind of a release to see public discourse isnt dead there.

  • @dustydo8048
    @dustydo8048 2 роки тому +13

    I don’t care what they say, I love Jimmy. 😂

  • @kay-dc8495
    @kay-dc8495 2 роки тому +24

    Jimmy has the best jokes

  • @saussierlaurier6397
    @saussierlaurier6397 2 роки тому +8

    Jimmy u deserve millions of subscribers❤️from🇩🇿

    • @brettm3472
      @brettm3472 2 роки тому +1

      Jimmy should come tour in Oz

    • @marcjames3487
      @marcjames3487 2 роки тому

      @@brettm3472 bloody right mate in Victoria we need some laughs !

  • @BarriosGroupie
    @BarriosGroupie 2 роки тому +2

    I love Jimmy's Asperger's delivery

  • @WilliamHBaird-eq2hp
    @WilliamHBaird-eq2hp 2 роки тому +6

    This is Jimmy at his best!

  • @PeoplesPadre
    @PeoplesPadre 2 роки тому +6

    You should have bought the “lucky heather” 😂

  • @patdavis6383
    @patdavis6383 2 роки тому +6

    Awesome as always!

  • @Piddlefoots
    @Piddlefoots 2 роки тому +5

    YOU are a BAD BAD man, Love it, NEVER CHANGE, we downunder love you, even when you pick on us !!!

  • @MadBalmer1
    @MadBalmer1 2 роки тому +5

    Hilarious.. saw him live in Bangkok. Laughed my ass off

  • @kfures3469
    @kfures3469 Рік тому

    Jimmy, you are absolutely hilarious. I never laughed so hard in my life

  • @TheShadowReviewer
    @TheShadowReviewer 2 роки тому +3

    What a creative comedian

  • @swaggycheese303
    @swaggycheese303 2 роки тому +1

    "Suddenly f***ing Chewbacca's in the car."

  • @earthsecho4770
    @earthsecho4770 2 роки тому +4

    Please come do a show in Johannesburg 🙏
    We miss you !

    • @slartybartfast1
      @slartybartfast1 2 роки тому

      Thought south Africans would have had enough of fascists 😂

  • @beastfishing5257
    @beastfishing5257 2 роки тому +9

    Don’t forget about the taxes! Much love from Texas!

  • @jvjonster4200
    @jvjonster4200 2 роки тому +1

    Love your comedy!

  • @redbeacon4871
    @redbeacon4871 2 роки тому +1

    Love you Jimmy ,from California

  • @marcjames3487
    @marcjames3487 2 роки тому +2

    The couple married 43 years ? Hilarious. Bet they had a great night after !

  • @outseeker
    @outseeker 2 роки тому +5

    she's a lucky lady! :)

  • @daviddoyle982
    @daviddoyle982 2 роки тому +7

    Please come to Australia 🇦🇺 Jimmy!
    Just don’t bugger up your Visa application! ;-)

    • @brettm3472
      @brettm3472 2 роки тому +1

      Apparently he is next year, 2023

    • @daviddoyle982
      @daviddoyle982 2 роки тому

      @@brettm3472 Thanks 🙏 for the heads up!

  • @h.u.l.k.7072
    @h.u.l.k.7072 2 роки тому +3

    Fuckin' amazing!!!
    🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @chuckselvage3157
    @chuckselvage3157 2 роки тому +2

    Gold

  • @promilitia3312
    @promilitia3312 2 роки тому +1

    After watching his videos, my brain start to crying for help.

  • @esquilax5563
    @esquilax5563 2 роки тому +3

    02:05 this clip is so old, it's from back when women had pubic hair

  • @chaitanyachavan8503
    @chaitanyachavan8503 2 роки тому +2

    Favorite comedian right here

  • @fraspqr
    @fraspqr 2 роки тому

    I gave my gf an organism once and she spat it back in my face, i was drinking water too 😂

  • @luciddreams3493
    @luciddreams3493 2 роки тому +1

    Very tame for jimmy

  • @daniellinnell346
    @daniellinnell346 Рік тому

    Absolute legend your hilarious

  • @jdenmark1287
    @jdenmark1287 2 роки тому +12

    We are just amazed you have a girlfriend. I am still not sure if she is deflatable though.

  • @NewMessage
    @NewMessage 2 роки тому +2

    Never, Jimmy?
    * sidelong glance *

  • @rosayoung4154
    @rosayoung4154 Рік тому

    Jimmy is hilarious

  • @user-yx7dp2pl8t
    @user-yx7dp2pl8t 2 роки тому

    i just love that the voice comes from the diaphram... yeah it maybe always does that but some arent as heartless as Jimmy so it can come out louder KEKW

  • @mickey0303
    @mickey0303 Рік тому

    Jimmy as great as you are. by now I know all your Jokes, because I have seen all your Videos. would be nice to get some new Material soon......

  • @mohammadrezaherfatmanesh2540

    Great

  • @davesmith4017
    @davesmith4017 2 роки тому

    Mate, are ya any good? When ya coming to Brisneyland?

  • @reubenmanzo2054
    @reubenmanzo2054 2 роки тому +4

    Girlfriend: What if someone comes?
    Chalk it up to inexperience, maybe I've got this wrong... but isn't that the whole idea?

    • @Gary-n
      @Gary-n 2 роки тому

      Yep, you're inexperienced.

    • @reubenmanzo2054
      @reubenmanzo2054 2 роки тому

      @@Gary-n Sad but true.

  • @skepticusmaximus184
    @skepticusmaximus184 2 роки тому +2

    I was thinking about that crying after sex bit just after I woke this morning. I also recounted other mentions of crying after sex I'd heard of. The thing is, I've never understood or remotely felt, remorse from fornication. I made a mental note to look it up. I also wanted to find this clip of Jimmy's. I was just amazed to find it in my recommended list. Is YT/Google achieving ESP powers now?

    • @fredsmith-kingofthelunatic7810
      @fredsmith-kingofthelunatic7810 2 роки тому +1

      Oh you're only just realising Google listen through your microphone?

    • @skepticusmaximus184
      @skepticusmaximus184 2 роки тому +3

      @@fredsmith-kingofthelunatic7810 But I never said anything about crying after sex out loud. That's why I suggested ESP.

    • @Boris82
      @Boris82 2 роки тому

      Something happened in your surroundings before, that made you think about it.
      You don't realize it because you didn't experience this happening to you consciously.
      It works like unconscious advertising.

    • @skepticusmaximus184
      @skepticusmaximus184 2 роки тому

      @@Boris82 I'm not worried about what caused me to think about it. The point is how coincidental it was for YT to recommend something I thought about.

    • @Boris82
      @Boris82 2 роки тому

      @@skepticusmaximus184
      In this case it probably really was just coincidence.
      But this type of influential advertising (or whatever it's really called) isn't new.

  • @imwithstupid00011
    @imwithstupid00011 2 роки тому

    Close ur eyes and listen... it sadiq khan talking london mayoral policy lol.

  • @JG-vh1xc
    @JG-vh1xc 2 роки тому

    Thank u jimbo

  • @TheSleepLes
    @TheSleepLes 2 роки тому +3

    You talking about your mum in public,Jimmy? Jolly brave …😀

    • @Boris82
      @Boris82 2 роки тому +4

      Not just his mom, your mom as well.
      A lot about yours to be honest.

  • @obscurereference6298
    @obscurereference6298 2 роки тому +1

    Sweet Caroline...

  • @PabloChocobar23
    @PabloChocobar23 2 роки тому +2

    My guy dank

  • @liamfairhall1062
    @liamfairhall1062 2 роки тому

    Come to Australia jimmy

  • @geoffsmith9429
    @geoffsmith9429 2 роки тому

    That bloke at the end is not him, tis an impostor

  • @noobandfriends2420
    @noobandfriends2420 2 роки тому +6

    Jordan Peterson sent me here.

  • @fortuner123
    @fortuner123 2 роки тому

    Surely that's not Jimmy Carr right at the end!

  • @ebaypolice8761
    @ebaypolice8761 2 роки тому +1

    Jimmy Carr: you should be UK prime minister!

  • @enikan73
    @enikan73 2 роки тому

    It's intriguing - PAYED By UA-cam... That "Thing" I keep hearing about! 😄
    😁 😂

  • @MsRetardedmidget
    @MsRetardedmidget 2 роки тому +2

    He chose that thumbnail.

  • @WhatTheFirstAidSpray
    @WhatTheFirstAidSpray 2 роки тому +3

    Best jokes about your girlfriend? Better start with the easy ones... Which funnily enough.......

  • @oldguysmusic2929
    @oldguysmusic2929 2 роки тому +5

    JImmy Carr looks a lot different than he did just a few years ago. Is it the haircut or maybe his girlfriend castrated him because of his jokes about her?

  • @janaenae1338
    @janaenae1338 2 роки тому

    Long term✨🎉✨

  • @PhoeniksStorm
    @PhoeniksStorm 2 роки тому +2

    Genuinely thought he was a homosexual man

  • @rob-890
    @rob-890 2 роки тому

    I didn't know they did liposuction exclusively on the face

  • @sharked8831
    @sharked8831 2 роки тому

    I thought this was Jimmy krsnkies clip how I end up here

  • @komiismywaifu7616
    @komiismywaifu7616 2 роки тому

    I don’t have any jokes about my girlfriend. I don’t have a girlfriend, but my name and profile said that already. I don’t care what you think I’m keeping it.

  • @archimedeeznuts453
    @archimedeeznuts453 2 роки тому +1

    Mate what is that thumbnail

  • @janaenae1338
    @janaenae1338 2 роки тому +1

    💖💓💕💓💕💓💕💖

  • @mattyallen3396
    @mattyallen3396 2 роки тому

    The sea gull has a gf?

  • @louis3141
    @louis3141 2 роки тому +5

    I hope you use the money from UA-cam to pay your taxes lol

  • @darrenkellett
    @darrenkellett 2 роки тому

    😂😂😂😂❤️❤️

  • @flashrobbie
    @flashrobbie 2 роки тому

    Have some advertising revenue filter money, Jimmy Carr.

  • @coryparni3620
    @coryparni3620 2 роки тому

    Jimmy found out his girlfriend was half romany and had to back pay our taxes

  • @soloperformer5598
    @soloperformer5598 2 роки тому

    Jimmy Carr tells jokes, I didn't know that.

  • @szymongrabarczyk3561
    @szymongrabarczyk3561 2 роки тому

    I thought he was gay

  • @photofinish8607
    @photofinish8607 2 роки тому

    He doesn't have a girlfriend.

  • @DataStorm1
    @DataStorm1 2 роки тому

    No wonder you had tax problems, if you don't know how you get money from this platform...

  • @jakeomara7079
    @jakeomara7079 2 роки тому

    Vile man

  • @TikTok-lu7eu
    @TikTok-lu7eu 2 роки тому

    he has a gf... I thought he was gay.

  • @slartybartfast1
    @slartybartfast1 2 роки тому +1

    Fascists are quite funny 🤣

  • @bollix2k
    @bollix2k 2 роки тому

    He ripped into the un vaxxed on netflix and for this I hope instant pharma takes care of him...

  • @artful1967
    @artful1967 2 роки тому +1

    Have you not gone to the "Berhard Manning retirement home for comedians that are well past their sell by date" yet?

  • @williamhuey3205
    @williamhuey3205 2 роки тому

    The laugh track sucks

  • @hhouser9783
    @hhouser9783 2 роки тому

    More lame attempts at stand up.

  • @daniellekiey-thomas1327
    @daniellekiey-thomas1327 2 роки тому

    🤮

  • @paulwilliams9381
    @paulwilliams9381 2 роки тому

    I thought you were cancelled?

  • @aaronroberts4264
    @aaronroberts4264 2 роки тому +1

    This is not comedy I don't know what it is it's not funny

    • @marconigreenwood
      @marconigreenwood 2 роки тому +15

      You should stick to mrs brown - more your style maybe

    • @Pwills
      @Pwills 2 роки тому +21

      He’s definitely not a comedian for snowflakes that’s for sure, personally I think he is brilliant

    • @ThatChrissyGirl
      @ThatChrissyGirl 2 роки тому +17

      Just because it isn't comedy to you, doesn't mean it isn't comedy. Personally think it's hilarious.

    • @fredsmith-kingofthelunatic7810
      @fredsmith-kingofthelunatic7810 2 роки тому +6

      S U B J E C T I V E.

    • @Slash1066
      @Slash1066 2 роки тому +7

      He's absolutely hilarious

  • @kevincloar2443
    @kevincloar2443 2 роки тому +1

    I don't see the appeal of this guy. He's painfully unfunny

    • @nicpilditch8961
      @nicpilditch8961 2 роки тому +12

      Why do you watch them then. If you don't enjoy them dont watch them easy as that, there's no need to go on every video and make a negative comment.

    • @sirrathersplendid4825
      @sirrathersplendid4825 2 роки тому +7

      @@nicpilditch8961 Jimmy Carr must have bullied him at school or something...

    • @nicpilditch8961
      @nicpilditch8961 2 роки тому +6

      @@sirrathersplendid4825 Yeah haha, either that or he got destroyed when he heckled at a show.

    • @roystonrubble7103
      @roystonrubble7103 2 роки тому +2

      Hes definitely funny although his double standards about BLM being off limits for comedy annoy the sh1t outta me

    • @fredsmith-kingofthelunatic7810
      @fredsmith-kingofthelunatic7810 2 роки тому +3

      @@nicpilditch8961 alternative theory, it's Jimmy's missus with a fake profile.

  • @Gabbyb1967
    @Gabbyb1967 2 роки тому

    Gold