The comeback for the Philosophy/Religious Studies college professor was brilliant. "So, you teach philosophy to the brighter kids and if they don't get the hang of it you go, oh just believe in god it doesn't matter"
@@nicolaunionsspezialfiliall3962 Why just one particular branch of sky daddy believers? To be religious, then go to see comedians like Jimmy Carr, is stupid. Just believing in any god in this day and age is childish, and some religious people are scarily moronic to me!
The thing is, the goat herders of years past didn't even have the capacity to write these "inerrant" texts to be coherent, yet expect people to belive they were inspired by a perfect beeing. Man made god in his own image.
Never heard of this guy, but this is pretty good stuff. The more we ridicule religion and its horseshit, the sooner people realize it has always been bullshit.
"I think Jesus should try and find ME. He's omnipotent; I'm on telly. How tough's that?" That was brilliant. :D And he's right about Catholic services. It's quite the workout: stand, sit, kneel, stand, kneel, sit, stand ...
I think JC is better at presenting comedy panel shows than stand-up, but anybody who goes after organised religions, ridicules religious people and mocks their ludicrous beliefs deserves high praise. Well done Jimmy Carr. Keep up the good work!
@@motleydude73 It you are such an expert in the bible, then how come you don't know that it's 'revelation' NOT 'revelationS'. No 's' on the end there, bubba.
Lol. You millennial westerners keeps on talking to not believe in religion when your countries are plagued by cheaters, divorce and unhappiness You blind fools.
@Timothy Mostad I don't like Islam and I don't believe in any religion but unlike you morons I see their importance and respect them except Islam. People who worship that shit should be put in a mental hospital.
It's great to see comedians with the courage to say the emperor has no clothes. Religion, and the concept of faith itself, deserve to be mocked, even apart from all the scandals.
@@jackfrost90999 It's the more reasonable position. Theism makes an extraordinary claim without sufficient evidence to back it up. Atheism makes no such claims. It's just a lack of belief in any gods.
@@rcnfo1197 you contradicted yourself in your response, To lack belief in a god or any such gods without sufficient evidence that such god doesn't exist is just as unreasonable and shows your misunderstanding of how burden of proof works. The reasonable position, if you believe no such evidence positive or negative exists, is agnosticism. Furthermore if you do believe that atheism is true then your doing so based on preconceived biases and not on the basis of evidence or theory, this became clear to everyone when the 'New Atheists' started debating religious apologists and got trounced over and over, so they went back to attacking religion from a distance.
@@jackfrost90999 You're confusing faith with knowledge. Theism, and its opposite, atheism, is about faith, what one believes or doesn't believe. Gnosticism, and its opposite, agnosticism, is about knowledge, what one knows or doesn't know. An atheist can be agnostic about the existence of a God. What isn't reasonable is pretending to know things you do not and can not know.
I wasn't confusing them, faith is based on knowledge, all belief lies upon foundations, the argument is whether those foundations are plausible or not, im forced to admit, in order to be intellectually honest, that the plausibility of a deity is more plausible then a lack of one. Many atheist thinkers agree with this, those who don't are forced to lie to themselves or their ignorance will blind them.
Philosophy is searching for a black cat in a dark, windowless room that isn't there. Religion is searching for a black cat in a dark, windowless room that isn't there and yelling "I found it!" Also: Religion is a Stockholm Syndrome where you pick your own hostage taker.
thinking how 2 put this, i'm not religius, and know its a joke. But Jesus only died 4 past sins, so mr. Reaper you may still take me 2 hell, the joke dont make sense, and is making hell crowded. ;)
The Grimm Reaper It unfortunate that a group of people are still believing in these fairytales about Jesus. (Brainwashing has lasting impact on someone.) All those Religious stories just fanciful stories told to the illiterate pheasants, goat hoarders who were living in the Middle East centuries ago.
@@loganberi2816 i think it has saved more than it has killed, helped more than it has hurt, united more than seperated. is it all real and true, no, but dont hate a sweet lie people tell them self, psykos is the ones that seek power, and and use hate.
@@evolutionaryadvantage hurrah for secularism, which is nice because i'm British, so even though Britain is CofE and not technically a secular state, most people couldn't care less about religion which is strange when compared to 'secular' America. Nice youtube name by the way
@@hareecionelson5875 I think it is partially because of the governments stances on religion that it ended up that way. We question our governments, so if CofE is the official state church, it will be readily ignored, while here in the USA, our founding document says you DON'T have to believe in a certain church/deity, and so many fundamentalists respond like "You can't tell me what not to believe, I'm gonna believe it anyway!"
Holy Shit! If Christopher Hitchen were a comedian. It’s a sobering good laugh .. straight up like a shot of Jack Daniels .. it burns ... and it should: the truth always does. Brilliant stage presence, and a well thought out approach, and pretty ballzy. His gears grind out a tuff perspective that fires up the spirit to demand proof. Provoked Christians often wake up to the truth while proving they speak the truth. Entertaining to the end.
I never heard of this guy before right now. And now I am a fan! When someone that I love dies, is the only time that I wish that the religious people were right! Unfortunately...
Love this! I’ve never seen this guy before, he’s brilliant! I immediately knew these routines were done somewhere other than the USA. Over here the audience would’ve been “offended” at him making jokes about their imaginary sky daddy. If he hasn’t been in the States yet, please, PLEASE get over here ASAP. The more we ridicule ridiculous beliefs, the faster they will go away.
I'd never heard of him before today either. However, I don't think you give American audiences enough credit. George Carlin and other American comedians can be quite pointed in their negative comments against religion and their audiences roared at the hilarity. Also, ridiculing belief doesn't make it go away, otherwise it would have died out decades ago. But such ridicule is part of our First Amendment rights, so go ahead and buy Mr. Carr a plane ticket.
Religion needs to be made fun off and ridiculed. It’s been and is the cause of so much death and destruction. If you believe in any religion grow up,it’s not real.
Iin Retno jesus wouldnt have gotten so angry at that statement. You need to learn about righteous anger. Meaning, yeah, you need Jesus. Hopefully he may also teach you forgiveness.
@@JamesBond-xx1lv You poor child, you have a lot of mental growing up to do if you still believe in a made up character to govern your behaviours as a person. Do some thinking, you might like it. Feel free to crawl out of your medieval rock, and start living in the 21st century, son! Science has greatly improved this wonderful world, don't you know? It still does, and will continue to do so...
@@janetduncan87 A God hater? I don't think he believes in God. Isn't that kind of like hating Voldemort? I mean, I know we all disliked him during the movie and was rooting for young Harry to prevail but we don't hate him now because we know he's not real. Oh sorry, you're not allowed to watch that movie. Okay so Jafar...
Religion is the greatest tragic comedy of all time ever. There is no comparison to religions utter madness, none. It's best to just laugh at the absurdity of it all.
Unfortunatly it is not the case where i live(turkey). I generally can make jokes but i am not sure whether my jokes suck or people are afraid of ethernal burning.
"Of course no one can prove that there is or is not a god." > Or that there are mermaids somewhere under the sea! But so what if you can't? Specifically when the response to an unproven extraordinary claim is simply that there's no good reason to believe it's likely to be true? 'That's the true situation.' > I agree but it's just as irrelevant as saying no one can prove there are no mermaids somewhere under the sea - or can you? 'However, there is that type of math out there where one does not know the full calculation, one has the input (desire) and the output but not the middle part.' > But how does that say anything significant about unsupportable god claims? Or mermaid claims? 'In essence, I choose to have a god because my mere desire could make it true' > Oh really? So if my 'mere desire' is to believe that that there are mermaids somewhere under the sea does that mean that there are mermaids somewhere under the sea? - And please explain how beliefs can be choices? Can you choose to believe there are mermaids under the sea when there's no good reason to believe that either? Yes or no? '...and I desire the after-life concept.' > I don't doubt that you do but why should desires be enough? I might desire to believe that there are mermaids under the sea but will that make it a fact? 'I see it as a good alternative to the dust to dust concept.' > How do you 'see' it? That sounds like it's simply a baseless opinion to me. Are you seeing something that can be verified or not? 'Of course my god is not interested in standard religions per say.' > How can you know that with any degree of certainty? Others are just as certain that their god is so again how can we distinguish strong opinions from baseless delusions in a reliable way? Can you offer anything which couldn't simply be opinion? I don't think you can. We are here to exercise free will, not to pray 10 times a day for the demise of our neighbors! > How can we have any free will if a god created everything from scratch? That HAS to mean that ultimately all events are sourced by that god if you run the clock backwards to a time when there's nothing but a god. 'Those who would argue that atheists never do awful things have just not studied history enough.' > Not true. Nobody kills in the name of what they DON'T believe, only in what they do be it a god or some political ideology but atheism isn't a belief it's a lack belief in much the same way that health is not a disease it's the lack of disease. 'Indeed, the militant atheist is every bit as bad as the militant theist.' > The please justify that claim by telling me how an atheist can "militantly" not believe god claims? Can someone "militantly" not believe mermaid claims too? I thought belief was binary: you either are convinced by a claim or you aren't. I don't believe god claims myself but like mermaids for all I know there might be lots of them... but I've never heard a justifiable reason to believe there's even one. Can you offer any which doesn't smuggle in any assumptions? I rather doubt it but feel free to surprise me with just one example if I'm wrong about that & we'll see if you're smuggling in the claim that there must be a god somewhere.
@William Perrigo I absolutely love your comment. When it comes to the afterlife, I absolutely know with 100% certainty that I don't know. I feel it would be pompous for anyone to say that they did. I guess that makes me agnostic. As for militant atheist all you have to do is look at the world's top two religions, but yes even atheists can be quite ruthless. I think it's funny cuz I'm smiling at them from a distance, shaking my head. Oh yeah and what is this math stuff you talking about I like the analogy can you elaborate on that?
"Discovery of the unknown is one reason why we're not bored out of our minds!' > Yeah but the unknown can only be called the unknown & the known the known IF it can be demonstrated that it IS known rather than simply claimed to be. 'When you get to the pearly gates, you're going to feel really really stupid' > How can you know that with any degree of certainty? You can't, but you can claim it as if it's knowledge. So what? Any fool can make unsupportable claims can't he? 'but you'll still get into heaven because you used your time on Earth in a somewhat productive way.' > Again that's yet another claim you simply can't justify. I assume. (I'm not so sure of some religious people because some are not noble). > You assume a lot. I assume as little as possible. 'However, if there is no heaven, as your data with 99.99% accuracy would suggest,' > How can you gather data on something not existing? Have you got any data on the abscence of mermaids? 'then both us will be dust in the wind and it won't matter in the least.' > I guess not. 'The question is: What are you selling now?' > I'm not selling a thing. It's you who's attempting to sell claims about some god & a heaven too but you can't show that you've got anything more than claims can you? 'Or do you just want people to stand out of your light as Diogenes desired in the year 323 B.C.?' > I have no idea because I've never even heard of such a character. 'I'm not selling anything.' > Maybe not financially no but you're certainly peddling unjustified claims just like the rest of the god squad. 'There are no products to buy or songs to sing.' > The product is a place in heaven but I'm not interested in it seeing as there's no good reason to accept it's more than simply a claim. Quite frankly I don't give a damn if you don't believe! > If that were so you wouldn't have commented to try & put me right so I'm not buying that claim either. 'Just stay out of my light, that's all I care about.' > Well you jumped on me first not visa-versa so I find such a demand kind of rich coming from someone who pretends to know what's what! 'I read the book 1984 and I am therefore highly allergic to people who know better.' > You do know that Orwell was an atheist too yeah? 'Because the non-god god can be as equally dangerous of just god.' > Funny how you can't explain WHY - but I should just take that on faith too yeah?
at 17:18 the problem wasn`t he hadn`t heard of Jesus. It`s more like. Was Mary a tennager? I think I learn more about relgion from atheist comedy than I ever learned in religon class in school :)
@@lemaygaming6952 "The crusades weren't perpetrated by Muslims". Not true. The crusades were attacks in response to Christian countries being invaded by the Islamic empire.
@@Harry-zn7yb The Crusades and all the European Empires were religious terrorism at it's finest. Missionaries, ostensibly caring for suffering people, committing cultural colonialism, cultural theft. People who were suffering largely because they were being robbed by the colonial powers. Guess what? Some of them are still pissed off about that but, in fact, a much smaller percentage of terrorist attacks come from Islamic fundamentalists than come from right wing fundamentalists. We're not short of our own nut jobs.
~ Jimmy Carr needs to joke about religion just as much as politics in 2019 MORE SO. Both have very dangerous aspects to them and must be exposed and made fun of and laughed out of town. Tax churches! Cheers, DAVEDJ ~ ~
11:54 I like this moment. Earlier on, he was making scathing jokes against Catholics and asking if there were any present. He got yells of confirmation from all over the audience. I thought, "Geez, these people have NO shame whatsoever!" That's the one thing you have to admire about hard-core religious people: nothing phases or dents their assurance or pride. They're like a criminal who's been tarred, feathered, run out of town on a rail only to saunter back moments later, saying, "By the way, can I pick up all the bags of gold I swindled you people out of before I head to my next stop? Thanks so much!" But at this point, he asks if there are Catholics in the crowd and only one person admits to it. Maybe there's hope, after all.
It's okay to say you are Catholic after you don't believe anymore... It's just a position from where you can observe the rest of the insanity and confirm you have made it out of the cult. I have early Amish friends that are the same.
@@uprightfossil6673 That’s because there’s no such thing as an ex-Catholic. You could be an atheist or say you don’t believe. You could be a lapsed Catholic or a bad Catholic. But you’re never an ex-Catholic in your eyes or in the eyes of others in the faith. One classic example for me occurs in the last act of “Cyrano de Bergerac”. One Saturday, a bunch of nuns are sitting around gossiping about Cyrano’s upcoming weekly visit, just a few minutes away. They talk about what a good man he is to visit his cousin every week. One grumbles that he’s a bad Catholic, however. Another excitedly exclaims that they’ll convert him yet. But the last, older and wiser than the others, forbids it. If they pestered him too much, he might discontinue his visits. But how can they “convert” him? He’s already a Catholic, isn’t he? It’s because he always looks at one of them solemnly and states, “Sister, I ate meat yesterday.” See, that makes him a BAD Catholic. He doesn’t practice but he’s not allowed to leave the faith.
@@QueenBoadicea by your logic there is no such thing as an ex prisoner... Ex patriate... And so on... Ex Catholic is a frame of reference for those who understand the cult aspect of different religions... Your reading into it a lot more than it is. By the way, I'm an ex football player also
@@uprightfossil6673 Logic? Since when does religion have anything to do with logic? I talked to a friend who claims that he was once in the religion but now he's a lapsed Catholic. See that? Not an EX-Catholic, a lapsed one.
@@QueenBoadicea by your lack of understanding what I said it is clear to me that you are lacking in basic knowledge. Learn how to read. Then, read what I said. Then read your ridiculous reply. Then go FUCK yourself moron.
Viv B well what about one of your family members dying of cancer? Would you laugh? Many parents have lost their children to AIDS,do you find that funny?
@@CashelOConnolly laugh at whatever you find funny and leave others alone to do the same. No one is forcing you to laugh along with them. Don't agree? Ok, let's hear some things that you think are acceptable to laugh at ... I dare you. If you have more than one brain cell you won't do it.
He missed one of the funniest part of that boycott, which was the fact that the Danish export companies affected, started selling their good to other countries, which paid MORE for the good they were selling - So the boycott essentially *forced* the Danish companies to earn more.
How to word this?? I'm a committed Christian (no, I haven't been committed) and (or do you expect me to say "but") love religious comedy - your faith is questionable if you can't laugh at yourself, and but for a few uncomfortable moments, found Jimmy's comedy hilarious. Let's face it, the church, any church, leaves itself open for comedy - the very sad bit is that a lot of this is due to sexual abuse, notably but by no means exclusively within the Roman Catholic church. Obviously I'm not a fundamentalist (I find fundamentalists very sad, so negative which is the opposite of the Christian message). My disappointment with this compilation is that there are virtually no older people in the audiences - I'm in my 70's - I'm not sure what the lack of people my age in the audience means. Sure, we don't get about much any more, still....! Keep it up Jimmy (and make of that what you will).
I completely agree with "your faith is questionable if you can't laugh at yourself." Thank you for your comment, and for being so honest and rational. I made this compilation and I'm an atheist, and I wish nothing but good things for you. Take care
I have just one question: How come 1000 years ago some guy came down from a mountain and told everyone that an invisible man talked to him through a burning bush, giving him instructions on how to live, behave and think and they made a religion out of it while if he did the same thing NOW, they would lock him up in a mental hospital ?
@@jimraq1 As a whole we did grow, and believe less and less in those kind of stupidities. Religion is the remembrance of those days and finally its slowly falling away. Doesnt mean everyone is that far yet. But generally we atleast stopped believing the crazy person who says he is a god etc. But still a long way to go.
@@ObediahPolkinghornIII-cz5io Haha. Yeah i dont really understand that either. Its not all bad what he says but its way off in the deep end. But worse... there are morons that voted for that orange muppet. Holy fuck those people must have been retarded. Well most were religiously insane.
"The way to deal with superstition is not to be polite to it, but to tackle it with all arms, and so rout it, cripple it, and make it forever infamous and ridiculous. Is it perchance cherished by persons who should know better? Then their folly should be brought out into the light of day, and exhibited there in all its hideousness until they flee from it, hiding their heads in shame." H.L. Menken (1880-1956) 'Aftermath' - Coverage of the Scopes trial.
@@TheBeavadelic Indonesia. Yeah our law is quite fucked up here. Social media is pretty dangerous for liberals here because of the certain religious group that could report you to the police. Want example, just check out ahok's case on google.
@@davidcalderon7724 the funny thing is, these reports are only made by the really hardline conservatives. Most people don't really care but then again the loudest minority are the most dangerous right.
One of the best comedian ever since I started to understand English speech
I'm sure he was a great comedian even before that.
Comedy is so essential. Gets the mind working and releases tension about serious social issues. This is great stuff
Unfortunately, comedy doesn't work the same way in all cultures.
@@TheSandyKale comedy is universal - it's just some cultures don't work properly
@@RobertBrownieJr there is no proper and improper culture, they're just different.
@@TheSandyKale some are better than others
@@RobertBrownieJr in what way?
The comeback for the Philosophy/Religious Studies college professor was brilliant. "So, you teach philosophy to the brighter kids and if they don't get the hang of it you go, oh just believe in god it doesn't matter"
I love George Carlin and Jimmy Carr on religion.
George Carlin's stuff was much better
@@AA-hg5fkI agree but both are great
Some people in the audiences don't look very happy. What were they expecting from Jimmy Carr FFS?
I bet they believed in God
Yup, the morons...
@@Retno39 Mormons*
@@nicolaunionsspezialfiliall3962 The M is silent.
@@nicolaunionsspezialfiliall3962
Why just one particular branch of sky daddy believers? To be religious, then go to see comedians like Jimmy Carr, is stupid.
Just believing in any god in this day and age is childish, and some religious people are scarily moronic to me!
What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?
It only takes one nail to hang a picture of Jesus.
And dont forget, the picture of jesus is actually Cesar de Borgia.
What's the difference between Mohammad and a picture of Mohammad?
☆⌒(*＾-゜)v
@@taylorsmurphy decapitation
@@themplar ahhaha
Why do chicks dig Jesus?
Because he's hung like this **spreads out arms**
If the gods didn't want us to joke about religion, they wouldn't have made religions so absurd.
the irony
Thing is religions are man made, not god made. :P
@@russianbot842 What irony?
@@casperchristensen8354 the irony
The thing is, the goat herders of years past didn't even have the capacity to write these "inerrant" texts to be coherent, yet expect people to belive they were inspired by a perfect beeing. Man made god in his own image.
Never heard of this guy, but this is pretty good stuff.
The more we ridicule religion and its horseshit, the sooner people realize it has always been bullshit.
That standing up and down joke made me spit my food back into my plate, brilliant.
So blunt, perfect delivery!
EclecticSceptic you need jesus
@@JamesBond-xx1lv you need to fuck off
@@JamesBond-xx1lvYou need help
"I think Jesus should try and find ME. He's omnipotent; I'm on telly. How tough's that?"
That was brilliant. :D
And he's right about Catholic services. It's quite the workout: stand, sit, kneel, stand, kneel, sit, stand ...
I think JC is better at presenting comedy panel shows than stand-up, but anybody who goes after organised religions, ridicules religious people and mocks their ludicrous beliefs deserves high praise. Well done Jimmy Carr. Keep up the good work!
I just realised Jimmy has the same initials as Jesus. lol :-D
Well the bible does say christians will be ridiculed and persecuted in the end times... Because it's the truth.
@@motleydude73Jesus also said the end of times would happen in his disciples lifetimes, we see how that went 😂
@@jdkhaos4983 No he didn't. Revelations explains the end times. Which we are in now. We're heading into the cashless society part.
@@motleydude73 It you are such an expert in the bible, then how come you don't know that it's 'revelation' NOT 'revelationS'. No 's' on the end there, bubba.
To be fair, at least Catholicism is kid friendly
😈
Too kid friendly lol.
*kiddy
Tish boom.
The bible talks about circumcisum
thank you for the video!
jokes about religion are so necessary.
rj zander watch it then.... kish mir in tuchis
i always thought religion was a joke in itself
Agreed 100%! if we don't laugh about the plague that is religion, we will cry!
Lol. You millennial westerners keeps on talking to not believe in religion when your countries are plagued by cheaters, divorce and unhappiness You blind fools.
@Timothy Mostad I don't like Islam and I don't believe in any religion but unlike you morons I see their importance and respect them except Islam. People who worship that shit should be put in a mental hospital.
This guy is a genius!! love it
Love how the more Jimmy asks the crowd who's Catholic there were less and less people who spoke up 😂
But, to be fair, if you were there with Jimmy, would YOU admit to it? LOL
@@robertcartier5088
Why not?
There's nothing wrong with providing a comedian with a good cue for a joke.
Different venues
Said the disgenic kike
@@marekkurwa What a loving christian you are.
Ridicule the ridiculous. Love Jimmy.
IAM GORT you need jesus
@@JamesBond-xx1lv why
ammar siddiqui to learn of healing, pain, suffering, true love, forgiveness, miracles can happen, and that someone loves you.
those replying to this are trolls may he bless you and keep you then. But try to learn from the teachings of Jesus too.
@@JamesBond-xx1lv what happens if you don't accept Jesus?
Gods are like water. You can pour them into any believers container and they'll fit perfectly to who ever is holding it.
A fool says in heart, there is no God.
And that's why different religions fought under the name of different gods.
@@janetduncan87 The wise man uses his mouth to speak.
@@janetduncan87 if even a fool can figure it out, what's your excuse ?
Speaking strictly as a recovering evangelical chris-chun, Carr is brutal, just eviscerates religion…and it’s freakin’ comic genius!
🤣😆😂
Welcome to reality
Listen to George Carlin.. you’re in for a good laugh
It's great to see comedians with the courage to say the emperor has no clothes. Religion, and the concept of faith itself, deserve to be mocked, even apart from all the scandals.
So you think atheism is more plausible????
@@jackfrost90999 It's the more reasonable position. Theism makes an extraordinary claim without sufficient evidence to back it up. Atheism makes no such claims. It's just a lack of belief in any gods.
@@rcnfo1197 you contradicted yourself in your response, To lack belief in a god or any such gods without sufficient evidence that such god doesn't exist is just as unreasonable and shows your misunderstanding of how burden of proof works. The reasonable position, if you believe no such evidence positive or negative exists, is agnosticism.
Furthermore if you do believe that atheism is true then your doing so based on preconceived biases and not on the basis of evidence or theory, this became clear to everyone when the 'New Atheists' started debating religious apologists and got trounced over and over, so they went back to attacking religion from a distance.
@@jackfrost90999 You're confusing faith with knowledge. Theism, and its opposite, atheism, is about faith, what one believes or doesn't believe. Gnosticism, and its opposite, agnosticism, is about knowledge, what one knows or doesn't know. An atheist can be agnostic about the existence of a God. What isn't reasonable is pretending to know things you do not and can not know.
I wasn't confusing them, faith is based on knowledge, all belief lies upon foundations, the argument is whether those foundations are plausible or not, im forced to admit, in order to be intellectually honest, that the plausibility of a deity is more plausible then a lack of one. Many atheist thinkers agree with this, those who don't are forced to lie to themselves or their ignorance will blind them.
Finally, someone who makes jokes about Islam as part of a stand-up comedy routine, we need more religions made fun of like this
Carlin had a good rant but this is stellar!
Wow I was thinking, I thinking Carlin would have like Carr.
Oh my god I love how sometimes he just randomly teleports to new furniture.
A book about a zombie that comes back from the dead, is the good guy and (unlike in the Bible) actually kicks ass exists too. It's The Crow.
Finwaell you need jesus
A book about dead matter that came back to life, and evolved to humans through random bugs in DNA. Called a book on evolution.
Satan 5 sounds like a wonderful fantasy novel! Do you know the title? Also, have you heard of Jesus? He was a good guy.
@@mklizzar looks like you missed reading that book.
Are you suggesting the bible doesn't exist?
Christians in the comments predicting eternal damnation on him. 😅 So much for love, peace and graciousness.
It's love and peace UNLESS you don't think, act, and look like them.
Very good channel! Some very funny & thought provoking clips you've taken the trouble to put together
People get angry about these jokes but every one of Jimmy's jokes about religion show how absurd all these faiths are.
Wow! I just stumbled onto this guy. HILARIOUS!!
Philosophy is searching for a black cat in a dark, windowless room that isn't there.
Religion is searching for a black cat in a dark, windowless room that isn't there and yelling "I found it!"
Also: Religion is a Stockholm Syndrome where you pick your own hostage taker.
So true.
Wait, what isn't there?
The Room or the Cat?
Helsinki syndrome I think you mean. Stockholm syndrome is when your in denial!
0x777 . Dave Allen.
@@leehenry5764 en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stockholm_syndrome
That's the thing about Jesus; if he died for our sins, then all the more reason to commit sin, lest his death be in vain.
thinking how 2 put this, i'm not religius, and know its a joke.
But Jesus only died 4 past sins, so mr. Reaper you may still take me 2 hell, the joke dont make sense, and is making hell crowded. ;)
ProPsyGun What language do you speak?
@@JamesBond-xx1lv internetish and u m8
The Grimm Reaper
It unfortunate that a group of people are still believing in these fairytales about Jesus. (Brainwashing has lasting impact on someone.) All those Religious stories just fanciful stories told to the illiterate pheasants, goat hoarders who were living in the Middle East centuries ago.
@@loganberi2816 i think it has saved more than it has killed, helped more than it has hurt, united more than seperated. is it all real and true, no, but dont hate a sweet lie people tell them self, psykos is the ones that seek power, and and use hate.
the great Cosmic Zombie Wizard Sky Daddy watches over you, personally.
Love to be at a party where Jimmy Carr is at, so funny.
Brilliant!! ... Thanks for sharing.
16:00 Napoleon “Religious wars is basically two sides fighting over the better imaginary friend"
My new home is British comedy!!
This man is a national treasure!
Brilliant. Thanks for uploading.
I burst out laughing .. have to use some of these one-liners tomorrow morning at bkfst.
Good luck with that, bishop.
6:30 As a former muslim, I liked this one a lot.
Congratulations on being cured
@@calwain8432 I took the red pill, now I can't go back ;)
Hareece Thorogood
That must have been a hard decision?
A secular society is a more peaceful society :-)
@@evolutionaryadvantage hurrah for secularism, which is nice because i'm British, so even though Britain is CofE and not technically a secular state, most people couldn't care less about religion which is strange when compared to 'secular' America.
Nice youtube name by the way
@@hareecionelson5875 I think it is partially because of the governments stances on religion that it ended up that way. We question our governments, so if CofE is the official state church, it will be readily ignored, while here in the USA, our founding document says you DON'T have to believe in a certain church/deity, and so many fundamentalists respond like "You can't tell me what not to believe, I'm gonna believe it anyway!"
Great editing on your side, an even better job from Jimmy!
The king of offence is in the house🤘😜🤘
Every creationist is a complete moron.
You haven't heard what the Pope said concerning the victims of his underlings or you wouldn't hand out that title so freely.
"Cause I'm not a fucking idiot." Laughed my ass off
Holy Shit! If Christopher Hitchen were a comedian. It’s a sobering good laugh .. straight up like a shot of Jack Daniels .. it burns ... and it should: the truth always does. Brilliant stage presence, and a well thought out approach, and pretty ballzy. His gears grind out a tuff perspective that fires up the spirit to demand proof. Provoked Christians often wake up to the truth while proving they speak the truth. Entertaining to the end.
Nothing pleases me more than bashing the idiocy of religion
I never heard of this guy before right now.
And now I am a fan!
When someone that I love dies, is the only time that I wish that the religious people were right!
Unfortunately...
So true. That just underscores how important it is to do right by them while they're alive.
if you like jimmy carr, check out '8 out of 10 cats does countdown'.... you read that right lol
Jimmy Carr is by far the MOST savage comedian
Frankie Boyle
Jim Jeffries is more ruthless.
@@motleydude73 ehhhhhhhh
Love this! I’ve never seen this guy before, he’s brilliant! I immediately knew these routines were done somewhere other than the USA. Over here the audience would’ve been “offended” at him making jokes about their imaginary sky daddy. If he hasn’t been in the States yet, please, PLEASE get over here ASAP. The more we ridicule ridiculous beliefs, the faster they will go away.
Lol it could be said for Christianty but islam... i doubt it
@@enlightenyourself8555 sure
He's growing there over the past 5 years or so
I'd never heard of him before today either. However, I don't think you give American audiences enough credit. George Carlin and other American comedians can be quite pointed in their negative comments against religion and their audiences roared at the hilarity. Also, ridiculing belief doesn't make it go away, otherwise it would have died out decades ago. But such ridicule is part of our First Amendment rights, so go ahead and buy Mr. Carr a plane ticket.
Religion needs to be made fun off and ridiculed. It’s been and is the cause of so much death and destruction. If you believe in any religion grow up,it’s not real.
That's the first time I actually heard him speak, only ever absorbed his content through memes. His voice is softer than I imagined.
Brilliant 👏 👏
Everything this man says is true
Thank you for this most enjoyable video!
Iin Retno you need jesus
@@JamesBond-xx1lv
And you need to mind your own business, you sad git!
Your jesus can kiss my sweet ass, if my husband lets him that is!
Iin Retno jesus wouldnt have gotten so angry at that statement. You need to learn about righteous anger. Meaning, yeah, you need Jesus. Hopefully he may also teach you forgiveness.
@@JamesBond-xx1lv
You poor child, you have a lot of mental growing up to do if you still believe in a made up character to govern your behaviours as a person. Do some thinking, you might like it.
Feel free to crawl out of your medieval rock, and start living in the 21st century, son! Science has greatly improved this wonderful world, don't you know?
It still does, and will continue to do so...
@@JamesBond-xx1lvThen don't mention Jesus I don't think he likes you bringing him up to be bigoted
Finally someone to say it to their face
Priceless
Wow. I've seen a few of his stand up routines. I didn't know he had material that was so overtly atheist. Right on. 👍
Youre lucky ive watched all of his acts I probably know some of the jokes better than he does haha i cant wait for his next special
He's.a God hater
@@janetduncan87 A God hater? I don't think he believes in God. Isn't that kind of like hating Voldemort? I mean, I know we all disliked him during the movie and was rooting for young Harry to prevail but we don't hate him now because we know he's not real. Oh sorry, you're not allowed to watch that movie. Okay so Jafar...
@@janetduncan87 I don't hate any god. At least not more than Sauron, Lord Voldemort or any other fictional villain.
JIMMY IS SO GROOVY HES GREAT
Religion is the greatest tragic comedy of all time ever. There is no comparison to religions utter madness, none. It's best to just laugh at the absurdity of it all.
I don't like 1 liners as a stand up, but this guy is pretty sharp and intelligent 👌
Quite funny but you really have to check out George Carlin for the best comedy on religion.
Yes, but George's comedy didn't come with illustrations!
QueenBoadicea .... unless you count body language... Carlin was incredible at that
Jim Jeffries does a great stand up on religion to.
Doug Stanhope also! Jews!!!
Yeah im so clever i understand black holes and going to moon was great. Boys... forgive your mother and stop hating woman.
Nice one Matti, see you've done more of these.. subscribed
Thank you
@ 3:14 dude in the lower right corner was 100% touched by a priest as a child.
If god made Jimmy Carr, then god probably has a good sense of humor after all.
Once you manage to get a nation to laugh publicly at religion it's as good as dead (thank God!)
Unfortunatly it is not the case where i live(turkey). I generally can make jokes but i am not sure whether my jokes suck or people are afraid of ethernal burning.
@William Perrigo I believe in logic but logic lets believers use it........they just never do.
"Of course no one can prove that there is or is not a god."
> Or that there are mermaids somewhere under the sea! But so what if you can't? Specifically when the response to an unproven extraordinary claim is simply that there's no good reason to believe it's likely to be true?
'That's the true situation.'
> I agree but it's just as irrelevant as saying no one can prove there are no mermaids somewhere under the sea - or can you?
'However, there is that type of math out there where one does not know the full calculation, one has the input (desire) and the output but not the middle part.'
> But how does that say anything significant about unsupportable god claims? Or mermaid claims?
'In essence, I choose to have a god because my mere desire could make it true'
> Oh really? So if my 'mere desire' is to believe that that there are mermaids somewhere under the sea does that mean that there are mermaids somewhere under the sea? - And please explain how beliefs can be choices? Can you choose to believe there are mermaids under the sea when there's no good reason to believe that either? Yes or no?
'...and I desire the after-life concept.'
> I don't doubt that you do but why should desires be enough? I might desire to believe that there are mermaids under the sea but will that make it a fact?
'I see it as a good alternative to the dust to dust concept.'
> How do you 'see' it? That sounds like it's simply a baseless opinion to me. Are you seeing something that can be verified or not?
'Of course my god is not interested in standard religions per say.'
> How can you know that with any degree of certainty? Others are just as certain that their god is so again how can we distinguish strong opinions from baseless delusions in a reliable way? Can you offer anything which couldn't simply be opinion? I don't think you can.
We are here to exercise free will, not to pray 10 times a day for the demise of our neighbors!
> How can we have any free will if a god created everything from scratch? That HAS to mean that ultimately all events are sourced by that god if you run the clock backwards to a time when there's nothing but a god.
'Those who would argue that atheists never do awful things have just not studied history enough.'
> Not true. Nobody kills in the name of what they DON'T believe, only in what they do be it a god or some political ideology but atheism isn't a belief it's a lack belief in much the same way that health is not a disease it's the lack of disease.
'Indeed, the militant atheist is every bit as bad as the militant theist.'
> The please justify that claim by telling me how an atheist can "militantly" not believe god claims? Can someone "militantly" not believe mermaid claims too? I thought belief was binary: you either are convinced by a claim or you aren't. I don't believe god claims myself but like mermaids for all I know there might be lots of them... but I've never heard a justifiable reason to believe there's even one. Can you offer any which doesn't smuggle in any assumptions? I rather doubt it but feel free to surprise me with just one example if I'm wrong about that & we'll see if you're smuggling in the claim that there must be a god somewhere.
@William Perrigo I absolutely love your comment. When it comes to the afterlife, I absolutely know with 100% certainty that I don't know. I feel it would be pompous for anyone to say that they did. I guess that makes me agnostic. As for militant atheist all you have to do is look at the world's top two religions, but yes even atheists can be quite ruthless. I think it's funny cuz I'm smiling at them from a distance, shaking my head. Oh yeah and what is this math stuff you talking about I like the analogy can you elaborate on that?
"Discovery of the unknown is one reason why we're not bored out of our minds!'
> Yeah but the unknown can only be called the unknown & the known the known IF it can be demonstrated that it IS known rather than simply claimed to be.
'When you get to the pearly gates, you're going to feel really really stupid'
> How can you know that with any degree of certainty? You can't, but you can claim it as if it's knowledge. So what? Any fool can make unsupportable claims can't he?
'but you'll still get into heaven because you used your time on Earth in a somewhat productive way.'
> Again that's yet another claim you simply can't justify.
I assume. (I'm not so sure of some religious people because some are not noble).
> You assume a lot. I assume as little as possible.
'However, if there is no heaven, as your data with 99.99% accuracy would suggest,'
> How can you gather data on something not existing? Have you got any data on the abscence of mermaids?
'then both us will be dust in the wind and it won't matter in the least.'
> I guess not.
'The question is: What are you selling now?'
> I'm not selling a thing. It's you who's attempting to sell claims about some god & a heaven too but you can't show that you've got anything more than claims can you?
'Or do you just want people to stand out of your light as Diogenes desired in the year 323 B.C.?'
> I have no idea because I've never even heard of such a character.
'I'm not selling anything.'
> Maybe not financially no but you're certainly peddling unjustified claims just like the rest of the god squad.
'There are no products to buy or songs to sing.'
> The product is a place in heaven but I'm not interested in it seeing as there's no good reason to accept it's more than simply a claim.
Quite frankly I don't give a damn if you don't believe!
> If that were so you wouldn't have commented to try & put me right so I'm not buying that claim either.
'Just stay out of my light, that's all I care about.'
> Well you jumped on me first not visa-versa so I find such a demand kind of rich coming from someone who pretends to know what's what!
'I read the book 1984 and I am therefore highly allergic to people who know better.'
> You do know that Orwell was an atheist too yeah?
'Because the non-god god can be as equally dangerous of just god.'
> Funny how you can't explain WHY - but I should just take that on faith too yeah?
Jesus walks into a hotel, puts down 4 nails and says "Can you put me up for the night."
What was Joan of Arc's final words? "I'm smoking more and enjoying it less!"
@@a1orski what was Jesus' last words upon the cross?
"God, my balls itch!"
Barry Werdell you need jesus
3 nails?
'i don't care what your name is, stop walking across my pond'
at 17:18 the problem wasn`t he hadn`t heard of Jesus. It`s more like. Was Mary a tennager? I think I learn more about relgion from atheist comedy than I ever learned in religon class in school :)
I love this man is brilliant. 😅😅
Love it!
hes too good
Oh! So _that's_ what that hole was in the wooden divider at the confessional...
OMG this is AWESOME!
Love this guy although he looks like a ventriloquist's dummy.
Or Lucifer from Lucifer xD
@@3bydacreekside is he?
Ha
Or Roger Federer
and laughs like a seal going flippers first into a wood chipper
you’re having a baby and that’s final. yours, the Catholic Church😭😭😭best bit hands down omfds
The last joke was just SO spot on.
Brilliant guy. Great collection. Glad to see it before it gets taken down like a child with a priest
This is gold
I wish we could make jokes about Islam without receiving death threats.
You would think peaceful people could take a joke.
@@lemaygaming6952 not nearly as many
@@Harry-zn7yb As much, if not more.
@@lemaygaming6952 "The crusades weren't perpetrated by Muslims". Not true. The crusades were attacks in response to Christian countries being invaded by the Islamic empire.
The catholic inquistion's, enough said.
@@Harry-zn7yb The Crusades and all the European Empires were religious terrorism at it's finest. Missionaries, ostensibly caring for suffering people, committing cultural colonialism, cultural theft. People who were suffering largely because they were being robbed by the colonial powers.
Guess what? Some of them are still pissed off about that but, in fact, a much smaller percentage of terrorist attacks come from Islamic fundamentalists than come from right wing fundamentalists. We're not short of our own nut jobs.
Saw a jimmy last month on his greatest hits tour. Fucking brilliant!
~ Jimmy Carr needs to joke about religion just as much as politics in 2019 MORE SO. Both have very dangerous aspects to them and must be exposed and made fun of and laughed out of town. Tax churches! Cheers, DAVEDJ ~ ~
Why be so anti religion? Can't people go along having their own views so long as they aren't hurting anyone?
Stalin would be proud cheers.
@@onyxtay7246 Sure. As long as they pay taxes like any business, they can have their own views as much as they like.
@@0x777 Why would all churches be treated as businesses?
@@onyxtay7246 Why not? Something that's having an income is supposed to pay taxes. There is exactly one and only one exemption and I wonder why.
1st Few Seconds already briliant
Guys his style of jokes is,being controversial. Calm down.
NoahB1489 ok thanks for the advice. I was about to get a lil crazy in here lol
Thanks for posting this.
Holy shit! This guy is damn good! I enjoyed every joke!🤘
Looked like someone's shadow had got up and fucked off! Fuckin brilliant!
11:54 I like this moment. Earlier on, he was making scathing jokes against Catholics and asking if there were any present. He got yells of confirmation from all over the audience. I thought, "Geez, these people have NO shame whatsoever!" That's the one thing you have to admire about hard-core religious people: nothing phases or dents their assurance or pride. They're like a criminal who's been tarred, feathered, run out of town on a rail only to saunter back moments later, saying, "By the way, can I pick up all the bags of gold I swindled you people out of before I head to my next stop? Thanks so much!" But at this point, he asks if there are Catholics in the crowd and only one person admits to it. Maybe there's hope, after all.
It's okay to say you are Catholic after you don't believe anymore... It's just a position from where you can observe the rest of the insanity and confirm you have made it out of the cult. I have early Amish friends that are the same.
@@uprightfossil6673 That’s because there’s no such thing as an ex-Catholic. You could be an atheist or say you don’t believe. You could be a lapsed Catholic or a bad Catholic. But you’re never an ex-Catholic in your eyes or in the eyes of others in the faith.
One classic example for me occurs in the last act of “Cyrano de Bergerac”. One Saturday, a bunch of nuns are sitting around gossiping about Cyrano’s upcoming weekly visit, just a few minutes away. They talk about what a good man he is to visit his cousin every week. One grumbles that he’s a bad Catholic, however. Another excitedly exclaims that they’ll convert him yet. But the last, older and wiser than the others, forbids it. If they pestered him too much, he might discontinue his visits.
But how can they “convert” him? He’s already a Catholic, isn’t he? It’s because he always looks at one of them solemnly and states, “Sister, I ate meat yesterday.” See, that makes him a BAD Catholic. He doesn’t practice but he’s not allowed to leave the faith.
@@QueenBoadicea by your logic there is no such thing as an ex prisoner... Ex patriate... And so on... Ex Catholic is a frame of reference for those who understand the cult aspect of different religions... Your reading into it a lot more than it is. By the way, I'm an ex football player also
@@uprightfossil6673 Logic? Since when does religion have anything to do with logic? I talked to a friend who claims that he was once in the religion but now he's a lapsed Catholic. See that? Not an EX-Catholic, a lapsed one.
@@QueenBoadicea by your lack of understanding what I said it is clear to me that you are lacking in basic knowledge. Learn how to read. Then, read what I said. Then read your ridiculous reply. Then go FUCK yourself moron.
I am offended by that Genesis joke! Phil Collins is a brilliant drummer! One has to draw a line somewhere.
Hurtful but 100% true.
What's hurtful
I guess he's saying the truth ......😅😂@@BlntFrcTrma
WOW Jimmy I love your bang up to date satire,people were making jokes about AIDS being Gods wrath 30 years ago!!!
@oops I think the difference would be whether they're joking.
Avarickan would you joke if you’d lost over 10 friends like I have to AIDS
@@CashelOConnolly So what can he joke about since you're obviously the arbiter of 'correct speech' Sir O'Flanagan
Viv B well what about one of your family members dying of cancer? Would you laugh? Many parents have lost their children to AIDS,do you find that funny?
@@CashelOConnolly laugh at whatever you find funny and leave others alone to do the same. No one is forcing you to laugh along with them. Don't agree? Ok, let's hear some things that you think are acceptable to laugh at ... I dare you. If you have more than one brain cell you won't do it.
"In pornography, beer and bacon."
Top kek.
He missed one of the funniest part of that boycott, which was the fact that the Danish export companies affected, started selling their good to other countries, which paid MORE for the good they were selling - So the boycott essentially *forced* the Danish companies to earn more.
Awesome
How to word this?? I'm a committed Christian (no, I haven't been committed) and (or do you expect me to say "but") love religious comedy - your faith is questionable if you can't laugh at yourself, and but for a few uncomfortable moments, found Jimmy's comedy hilarious. Let's face it, the church, any church, leaves itself open for comedy - the very sad bit is that a lot of this is due to sexual abuse, notably but by no means exclusively within the Roman Catholic church. Obviously I'm not a fundamentalist (I find fundamentalists very sad, so negative which is the opposite of the Christian message). My disappointment with this compilation is that there are virtually no older people in the audiences - I'm in my 70's - I'm not sure what the lack of people my age in the audience means. Sure, we don't get about much any more, still....! Keep it up Jimmy (and make of that what you will).
I completely agree with "your faith is questionable if you can't laugh at yourself." Thank you for your comment, and for being so honest and rational. I made this compilation and I'm an atheist, and I wish nothing but good things for you. Take care
I have just one question:
How come 1000 years ago some guy came down from a mountain and told everyone that an invisible man talked to him through a burning bush, giving him instructions on how to live, behave and think and they made a religion out of it while if he did the same thing NOW, they would lock him up in a mental hospital ?
we grown as a species.
themplar Ya think! Tell that to the Syrian kids. The veneer is very thin.
@@jimraq1 As a whole we did grow, and believe less and less in those kind of stupidities.
Religion is the remembrance of those days and finally its slowly falling away. Doesnt mean everyone is that far yet. But generally we atleast stopped believing the crazy person who says he is a god etc.
But still a long way to go.
@@themplar People voted for Bernie Sanders. Nothing surprises me anymore.
@@ObediahPolkinghornIII-cz5io Haha. Yeah i dont really understand that either. Its not all bad what he says but its way off in the deep end.
But worse... there are morons that voted for that orange muppet. Holy fuck those people must have been retarded. Well most were religiously insane.
I love how it's the Protestants and the Muslims who are offended snowflakes.
Title: Stand up about religion
Second clip: jimmy sitting down
Its not just amazing that there is more of this atheism pushing their disbelief on stage, its also amazing that so many applaud.
"The way to deal with superstition is not to be polite to it, but to tackle it with all arms, and so rout it, cripple it, and make it forever infamous and ridiculous. Is it perchance cherished by persons who should know better? Then their folly should be brought out into the light of day, and exhibited there in all its hideousness until they flee from it, hiding their heads in shame."
H.L. Menken (1880-1956) 'Aftermath' - Coverage of the Scopes trial.
"Are you not entertained?"
60% of the Christians in the audience: "Fuck off!"
/cross arms
17:47 might be the greatest catholic joke of all time
He's off the fucking chain 😂😂😂😂
HE is not an idiot.
3:00 - definitely should've made a joke about "show and tell". Or, "show and don't tell". Definitely something there!
Do this in my country and you will get arrested or probably get mobbed first which is sad really.
Where's that? Damn sounds bad
@@TheBeavadelic Indonesia. Yeah our law is quite fucked up here. Social media is pretty dangerous for liberals here because of the certain religious group that could report you to the police. Want example, just check out ahok's case on google.
Thats very godly
@@davidcalderon7724 the funny thing is, these reports are only made by the really hardline conservatives. Most people don't really care but then again the loudest minority are the most dangerous right.
@Higinio Martell III yeah the country is really being held back by these morons.
So funny...so real...😅