We Didn't Always Want a Big Family....So What Changed?
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- Опубліковано 28 кві 2019
- Hey friends! Today we're going to talk a little bit more about our story, and how we decided to have a big family! Though, it wasn't so much a decision to have a big family as it was a decision to trust God with the outcome!!
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I’d love to hear about your parenting transformation!! I really feel like things changed in a huge way for me in the last year, praise the Lord. Praise Him for being so faithful to me and to our kids through our sanctification as mamas.
Love this! I had a similar experience. I started off using birth control. And then decided that I wanted a 3rd child and couldn’t have one. Then when we finally did get pregnant, I continued to miscarry. But throughout this time the Lord was working on me. And he spoke to my heart about his heart when it comes to children. And every time I would be considering surrendering my womb and family size to him completely, I would read how he would open and close the wombs of women in the Bible. And I could hear Him saying “Have I changed”. Truly trusting God requires walking in try faith that He is who he said He is, His Word is true, He can not lie, and you are His child and his plan for you is good! I was also brought to the scripture that says “His ways are our ways, nor are his thoughts out thought. He is so much wiser than us”. That got me. We have 6 children with many in heaven! And If God sees fit we will have more 😊. And if he doesn’t, we won’t 😊. Thank you for sharing ❤️
We had a somewhat similar journey. I've had 14 pregnancies with only 7 here on earth, so it hasn't all been smooth but He has blessed us.
I needed this so much. SO much. We have 5. We definitely wanted another but, man, my 2.5 year old girl is my wild one and I just wanted to wait. My youngest will be 1 next week and.... yep, I just found out I’m pregnant with number 6. I’m so thankful! I am, but I’ve been a wreck today because it’s not been what I wanted right now. But it’s probably what God wants. My kids are overjoyed, and I’ve been a bit bitter today. Then a good friend, not knowing the day I’ve had, brought me a homemade treat tonight out of the blue, and I just feel like Gods trying to keep me calm. Sooo, all that to say, thank you for this.❤️❤️❤️❤️
Beautiful story. It is very similar to my own. I never wanted children. I never would have believed I would have 9. God surely knows what is right for each of us.
Ha, yes, being a mom to a baby is not only different than being a mom to a toddler, it's different than being a mom to a toddler and a preschooler, a couple two or three elementary age kiddos, a middle schooler or two, and a couple/few teenagers, lol!
We certainly didn't set out to have 11 children, but I love my amazing family and wouldn't have it any other way! 💗
Your videos make my soul happy.. please so a video about how you changed your parenting!! ❤
I am an atheist but I still appreciate your words despite our different views. Love your videos! 😊❤
Oh my gosh girl! We are doing the same topic! God must be pressing onto our hearts to share! We weren't supposed to be able to have ANY and now we have 8! Thank you for sharing your heart with us!
I so wish we lived closer because I am the SAME with regrets about how I was in parenting my oldest 3! God is still on the throne and chooses the most unlikely candidates!
You're so precious and so real! God bless!
Thank you so much! ❤️
Yes! He chooses the most unlikely candidates! We have 8 also.
And yes to everything you said about the sanctification process of motherhood!!
I need a shirt like yours. :);I have six children ( 8, 7, 5, 3, 1, and 2 months old) my kids are one girl and 5 boys in a row. I don't feel like a family of 8 is alot. When we go places I count them and I'm like we are missing some, but really we aren't. It's just it seems like my family isn't complete yet and we are missing some. If God wants to bless us with more children, I would definitely be happy about it.
Jessica my kids and I used to say the same thing! It felt like someone was missing and we would count. We have 8 and I’m in menopause now. We finally stopped saying that.
Yes I’d love to hear about your parenting transformation. I feel like I’m stuck in the phase you talk about.. I’m yelling all the time & so sad.
There are so many things you said in here about parenting regrets that echo things I have walked through the last few years. I am getting much better but your story encourages me that I really can change my attitudes and parenting style from my past failures. Thanks for being vulnerable with us.
I get it and alot of people don't. I'm older now, did the control thing with the oldest (didn't work either), I thought 6 is lots of kids (It is) I ended up with 12 by following my Heavenly Father and praying. I have never regretted it. Though life hasn't turned out the way I thought it would I am very thankful I chose to follow Him! Sanctification is exactly what happens because of our deep love and sacrifice. Personal refining is the perfect description!
I totally understand what you mean. I have gone through very similar situations in pregnancies and even loss. God just wants us to trust him and give us our hearts desires.
God has used you to speak to me about motherhood! Thank-you for being open and authentic about your journey, you have a lot of wisdom. I am now going through a life/mind transition in regards to motherhood and children. I have decided to be SAHM and am learning to view my children as blessings and not burdens. Your example of motherhood has been an inspiration to me and encouraged me to look to God for wisdom in my motherhood.
How wonderful! God is so good. You won't regret it.
I loveeee what you said about how motherhood is about raising up yourself as well and that God grows us in motherhood ❤️ I have 3, 3 and under and I would love a large family but I struggle really bad in pregnancy. I would also love to adopt like your sister has 😊
I had 3 under 3 and it was so hard. I had a 2 year and 5 month old when my twins were born, but we had another when my twins were 3 and 2 months. We have 4 kids 5 and under. I love how close they are.
😀💪you rock!!
Love listening to your perspective on things. For me, yes, my children are my greatest blessing and the most important parts of my life and my decision to stop after two was primarily because my husband and I want to be able to give each of them as much of ourselves and our time as possible. I have never regretted not having more.
Your videos bring me peace. I could listen to you speak about anything. God bless!
When you talk about your faith, it's beautiful. Thanks for inspiring me.
Thank you for being here ❤️
I love this! I knew you had these beliefs with TGIF(Trusting God in Family size) but it is so awesome to here you say it out loud!
I love that you have a big family. We have 3 kids and hopefully aren’t done. Right now I am feeling drained so maybe I’m doing too much. I don’t feel short with my kids, but keeping up with everything leaves me worn out and I’m starting to feel burned out. I look forward to your tips!
I love hearing you explain your journey! Thank you so much for sharing. This video helped me to be more open minded and open hearted.
And I second others who are requesting a parenting transformation video! I’d like to hear what ways you struggled and how you do things differently. I’d love the opportunity to learn from you.
Amen Sister!! Love your videos! So inspiring, so heart warming to hear I'm not alone in some areas! Thanks for what you do!
I absolutely love you and your beautiful words of encouragement! My husband and I feel the same exact way as you and your bearded beloved 😉 and catch so much flack from family members because we actually are considering having more than three children..like it's unheard of!!! Thank you for your authenticity, encouragement, advice, honestly and beautiful heart!!!
Thank you thank thank you for being open enough to say you resented your kids and that little chunk of info. I've felt like that and that they deserved better and it makes me feel like such a bad mom. I have a 20 month old, an 8 month old, and 5 months pregnant. Same journey, quite a few steps behind. Thank you. ❤
I can’t believe how much I relate to you and all your videos. Thank you so much for being willing to be honest so the rest of us don’t feel so alone.
Thank so much for this video and for open up to us ❤️
What an honest and insightful video, like always. Love your content and hearing about your story helps a ton. I know you and Angie are busy, but when is the new sister show coming out? So excited for season 2
I would also love to hear about your parenting transformation..
Brand new to your Chanel! Thanks for sharing your story! I can relate to a lot of what you’ve said in this video.
I actually posted that video last week! ua-cam.com/video/szPAsqjuU3k/v-deo.html
I was doing so much better with patient parenting until I fell pregnant... now I have the worlds shortest fuse!!! Would love a parenting video for your perspective!! 😘
Oh man, hormonal fluctuations can set me off too, be verrrrry patient with yourself, and scale back as much as you can in order to reduce expectations! ❤️
JOYFUL CHAOS my scaling back was to being horizontal pretty much 24/7 😂 worst nausea ever
Just coming into second trimester now so I’m hoping for a bounce!
Lord I’m not a pregnancy unicorn! I can birth like nobodies business but I’m a miserable pregnant woman!! 🤪
I am struggling as well with patience. I have a 2.5 year old and a 15 month old and I am due in about 9 weeks. I have the shortest fuse and I feel awful. 😬
Thanks for sharing!! x
Yes !!!
I love this vlog 🌺🥰🌺🥰🌺🥰🌺
I love being pregnant 🤰🏻
I love babies 👶🏽
I love having a big family 🥰❤️🥰
This story was so amazing. ❤️ Thank You Jesus.
Beautiful story ♡ 'Quiver Full' is such a strong, encouraging phrase to describe a big family ♡ Blessings to you all! Shalom
Great video, can you share how you parent your kids previously and how you parent now? Would love to hear more ❤️
I am going to try to get that video up in May!
I love following your videos. Thanks for sharing your videos ❤️. I just found you. It is great to meet another spiritual sister in the Lord. I could only have 2 children, but often I struggle, since both have special needs. I need to focus on the blessing they are. Thanks for the reminder.
I have 5 children and 2 have chromosomal abnormalities. My 3 year old has IDIC 15 and my 10 month old has a duplication of chromosome 5. They both have developmental delays but my 3 year old also had seizures when he was a baby and they created alot of brain damage so he cant talk, isn't good with sign language either, we don't really have a way to communicate, I just guess his basic needs like you do with a baby and we play with him but no real communication. He gets feeding therapy to teach him to chew, OT mainly for sensory, speech, and PT to teach him to walk better, run, jump, go up and down stairs, he's almost 4 and so much to learn but we will get there. I'm honestly so worried about the idea of potty training him lol. He is the most loving of all my children. He loves to snuggle and he just learned to give hugs. He doesnt do kisses but I told my husband even if he never tells me he loves me, I know he does. I remember when he was 9 months old he looked at me like he knew who i was for the first time and when he was 10 months old the door slammed and he looked in that direction. It made me cry bc I was so happy he noticed and reacted to the sound. He sat up for the first time at 13 months old, crawled at 16 months, walked at 23 months. That was huge bc the genetics said had walk at 3 and it was just before he turned 2. I understand the struggles of having special needs children. I don't know what your childrens struggles and victories are but I will pray for your family. Sometimes I feel kind of alone bc I dont know anyone with special needs kids here in my personal life and I like to connect with large families on UA-cam but none of them seem to have children with special needs so I always seem like the odd one out. But you are right. Your children are blessings from God and he made them exactly the way he wants them to be. They had to be made this way to complete the job or task that God has for them. I just pray that God will give my 3 year old the gift of communication. I can tell that he understands his surroundings and I can't imagine what it would be like to have thoughts and want to tell something to someone and not be able to.
I just subscribed today and have watched two videos...enjoy them immensely!
Just saw this! I love what you are saying.
Such a good story! And yes, I regret how I parented my first born. Obviously I am not perfect now but I definitely changed a lot of things.
No! Thank YOU for sharing. You really spoke to my heart. Thank you and may God give you the desires of your heart!
Lots of Love from Bulgaria
I feel so encouraged by this video! My husband and I just found out that I am pregnant with baby #2. I’m so excited but have been feeling a lot of anxiety about this pregnancy. I had a really hard labor and delivery with my first and am so scared of going through the same thing. It feels so good to hear you talk about your similar experience. I need to surrender this pregnancy back to God and trust in His goodness.
Congratulations! ❤️ Ask for peace, pray scriptures over yourself and your baby!
Read "Supernatural Childbirth" by Jackie Mize. It is a very good God based book💕💕
Love your hair it looks awesome! 💕
Thank you!
Thank you for sharing your story. It was so honest and real. I'm on #4 now and are open to have more if the it's in the Lords will.
I also would love to hear your parenting transformation. This could really help others. xx
Sending you some love, because I feel like I really feel how hard a time you had in the early months of Alice's life. Xx
I'm at the "3 kids 3 and under rocking my world" point in life 😣. BUT God is working on the way I parent, because suddenly I see it is not what I want it to be. I would really love a video on that parenting transformation for you and what that looked like ❤
I would love to hear about your parenting transformation! :)
Angelina she has a video called like how I stopped being an angry parent, check it out.
Thank you so much for your transparency and honesty. The Lord definitely led me to your channel this morning. I relate to the part about God using motherhood to refine us. I am completely a different person since having my son 4 years ago. He has been a challenging child but I am madly in love with him. Looking forward to homeschooling him and possibly having another baby in the near future. So glad I discovered you on YT. Your family is adorable!
I always wanted at least 4 back to back to get the baby stage out of the way. I'm on 2 and I feel like I'm losing my mind. This video is hitting me hard because I feel resentment towards my kids even though I love them and have always wanted them and still want them. It's horrible that you felt that way but it's nice to know that I'm not the only one that feels like this. It's normal but not talked about enough.
It’s so common, but it doesn’t have to be that way!! You CAN find joy in your children again, mama. ❤️
Very well said. I am a mama to 6 kiddos. Biological, adopted, and fostered (soon to be adopted) but they are all in fact a very real blessing to our family. I pray that God does lead you into foster care. You certainly will be a blessing to the precious children that need a loving home like yours. It is hard, but it is worth it.
Children are blessings! ❤️❤️
Also I still can't get over you having a Jasper and a Ruby! My two youngest have the same names.
We have to let God control and move in our hearts and minds .
I want that other video on how your parenting transformed! I am so in that place you to talked about after having your fourth.
Girl I'm a screaming mess as a mom right now. They are always screaming and fighting with each other that im a stress case most days. I prayed to God to change my heart on how to love children and except each one s they come to me. But right now I'm struggling so much that I feel like I made a mistake to even pray at all to change my mind on children because my husband doesn't want anymore children. We have 5 and now I'm lost.
Keep asking, and keep practicing what you know to be right and true. Nourish your body and your spirit. I also highly recommend going unplugged for a week (or more)...no screens for anyone...I swear that always helps behaviors around here!
@@ashleighnicolewilson thank you. I will ❤
Older mom of 8 here and I totally agree with Joyful chaos response! Focus on what you know God wants you to do. Let go of other stuff, especially screens or too many outside activities.
I love this! I now have four kids and get asked a lot why we have a big family
I would love that video on how you parent and prevent being the way you used to. I think I might be in the same category that you were and would love tips
Please do a video on your parenting transformation! I resonated with so much of what you said in this video and have beaten myself up for years with the thought of, "I shouldn't have more kids until I am a better mother," as ridiculous as that sounds. I have 6, would love to have more, but feel like I would do everyone a disservice :(
I really enjoyed this video
Amen 🙏🏽🌸
Just love your attitude about children. They are such a blessing. Makes me sad that that's a bit countercultural these days! God bless you!
I feel like God is telling our family the same but my husband is not in agreement. We just had our 3rd. I would also love to hear your parenting journey as well. I've been unhappy with the way we both parent and I dont feel its very effective either
Stay in prayer. There is no need to convince your hubby, just ask God to bring you in to agreement, whatever that looks like ❤️
This video I believe God used to show me something, or confirm for me something that I am not sure you could have anticipated - that is - surrendering any area of our lives to God and trusting Him in that area. Whether that's marriage (for those who previously feared marriage), career, provision, etc. If God tells us to do something that goes against our fears, we need to choose to trust in Him in that area. For me, trusting God in an area that I feared isn't about having more (or any) children, but about marriage. There's lots more details I could get into, but, I don't feel led to do that here. Though I had lots of confirmation already concerning this certain thing, watching this video only gave me more confirmation. So, thank you for making this video, even though maybe you might not have intended for it to also concern marriage, lol.
“Might as well be 30” yup! That’s me I wanted 4 hubs wanted 2.....we had one and stopped lol everyone is different. I love yours and your sisters “big” families lol
I'm very curious about what changed in your parenting style? I have 2 under 3 and would love a better understanding of how you changed the power struggle dynamic with your little ones. Have you already done a video on this? I'm fairly new to your channel and love each one I've watched so far
I’m going to work on getting a video out in May about it!
@@ashleighnicolewilson Thank you! I'm looking forward to it!
When did you feel a shift in your heart in your parenting? I have 2 and have struggled with finding equilibrium, not being swept up in parenting. I look forward to a day where I don’t begrudge my kiddos as much as I do at times. Not deliberately of course...i love them so much. It’s just a lack of control and balance that’s confusing and leads me to push away the things that make it hard. Any wisdom??
A lady I met has 12 children, one is an adopted disabled niece, another is from an embryonic adoption. I had never heard of that. Very interesting. In her late thirties she just stopped getting pregnant and that's when they adopted their youngest who was a frozen embryo for 4 years! And she got to carry and birth her adopted baby! Amazing!
Could you do a parental video? I would love to learn more.
Coming next week!!!
💕💕💕
Do you feel by saying the three children you had after making that choice were ‘clearly meant to be here’, is putting pressure on them in the future? Or they could grow up having that thought?
I love being a mom but myvkids drive me nuts and i dont want to be mean to them .i wish i could be more patient can you make a video about your transformation.pls
Man, I have one very high needs 18 month old son. Who still wakes 6 times a night (even cosleeping), who hates solids and just wants to breastfeed all the time, who rejects naps and can go and go for 14 hours straight, who loves his mama and only wants me 24/7, and I struggle daily. And I always feel guilty that I love God and love kids and thought I would want so many, but one child leaves me exhausted and so flat at the end of each day. It kind of breaks my heart seeing how much you love parenting and wanting to be feel that, but just thinking that I don't know how I would even do two kiddos.
I have so been there. But true faith is trusting God even when it's difficult... Even when you don't see a way. How much do you really trust Him? That was a hard pill to swallow for me in the beginning, but His strength is made perfect in my weakness. When you raise children and train them in the Lord, you can look back and remember you could have never done it. You're a hot mess like the rest of us. But I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. This way, only He gets the glory.
Trust Him. You want to grow in your walk, have children. It's in these hard and difficult times that we see our weaknesses and run to Him for help and mercy... For the sake of our children. It's not about An easy path, but the one He wants us on. Trust in Him over your feelings.
I am the last person qualified to be a mother, yet He is somehow teaching me and I look back at how far He has brought me, and it is overwhelming. I still have a long way to go, but now it is exciting to see the change He has brought in my husband and I over the last 8 years with 5 children. I'm excited to see Him move just as much over the next 8 years and I don't want to tell God "I know better" for what He has in store for me.
None of us are super moms. God just wants a willing heart and faith in Him even when it seems scary or impossible.
Remember, this is just a season. Focus upon the season of your hard work paying off. It will be here soon!
I am curious how your family reacted to each baby announcement. I am 16 weeks pregnant with baby #7 and according to my family, I don't need anymore kids and already have a million. Mind you, my 3 oldest kids are grown adults, and this last one rocked my world, completely unexpected. I haven't told them yet because honestly we don't want to hear it.
At this point i think they just expect that around 18m to 2 yrs after a baby, there’s gonna be another announcement lol. I think they may not fully understand, but they love and support us regardless. In the end, it’s not up to them, and you can ask that they either share in your joy, or keep their mouths closed. 🤷♀️
Manda Daroski I dreaded calling my family, except my brother and step-dad. Both of my parents and step-mom were negative. I just decided to see it as a tiny bit of persecution. With #8 I decided to email them and explain more clearly using scripture what our views on children are. I explained how their responses in the past were less than encouraging and I just wanted to skip it this time. I prayed a lot before sending and it was well received. By the time they called they were over the shock (I was 45 😅) and nice. My in-laws were catholic (we’re not) so they were always happy for us. It has been hard not really having their support, especially when I had autoimmune issues. I could NOT talk to them about how hard it was. But I guess it made me more dependent on the Lord, so that’s a good thing! 😁
@@lauranilsen8988 I can completely underatand. I am about to be 41, hubby just turning 50. I have been told I don't need to have more kids. I have never been dependant on the welfare from my family to care for my kids, but you would think so the way they act.
Did it never cross your mind to never tell them? To just have the baby and let them find out eventually. I know it's unrealistic but I do fantasize....
I'm 30 weeks with baby number 4 (in less than 5 years) and havent told my family because I dont want to hear it
Email annoucements are great because you don't have to see their first reaction.
What would you say to a family with both parents working that wants a large family but unsure if they could financially afford it?Mainly referring to the cost of childcare and having to take off work to for appointments,school events etc.Don't have much family support and also reside in a rural area so babysitters are hard to come by...Do you just trust in God to provide or give up on the idea? Thoughts or opinions welcomed :)
We couldn't afford to have two incomes, even with mine being more than my husband's.
The cost is outrageous. By staying at home, I don't have to eat out, have a second vehicle, nice clothes, babysitter, etc. Plus I can devote more time to stretching my husband's money. If I was using my degree and working now, we would probably be in debt and only see our children a couple of hours a day. That's just our story, but I have heard similar ones from many other families. People have mostly lived off of one income until recent generations, despite having far less.
It's so neat to truly trust in His provision.
I would also suggest having a stay at home parent. I grew up in a family with 6 kids on a middle school teacher's salary. I have 7 kids and love that I am able to stay home with them (it is busy and hard, but finding joy in the little things helps)
Yeah, it's too hard to work full time and have lots of little kids.
Are you and Peter actively seeking to foster or adopt at this time?
To me 3-4 kids is a big family haha. I only want one kid!
From what I can tell, women saying they are done being pregnant almost guarantees they will have more.