This is Coercive Control: Navigating the Nightmare of Post-Separation Abuse
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- Опубліковано 30 лип 2024
- This is Coercive Control, and the nightmare of Post-Separation Abuse.
Welcome to Part 2 of our conversation with Courtney Gilmartin from New Jersey Protective Moms. In this episode, we discuss the realities of dealing with coercive control within the context of separation and custody battles. Courtney shares her journey of escaping an abusive relationship, only to face ongoing legal and personal challenges, including manipulation, stalking, and intimidation from her ex-husband, even in the presence of law enforcement and judicial oversight. Despite obtaining multiple restraining orders and engaging in legal battles for the safety of herself and her children, Courtney details the systemic failures that often re-victimize survivors. She highlights the importance of understanding coercive control, the impact on children, and the struggle for legal recognition of non-physical forms of abuse. Courtney also discusses her advocacy work through NJprotectivemoms.org, aiming to support other survivors and push for legislative changes to address coercive control and abusive litigation in family law.
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// GUEST LINKS //
Website: www.njprotectivemoms.org/
TikTok: / courtsgilmartin
Instagram: / courtney.gilmartin
// SKIP TO //
00:00 Living With a Stalker
01:02 From Divorce to Coercive Control
02:45 Restraining Orders and Legal Struggles
06:35 Post-Divorce Harassment and the Fight for Normalcy
11:45 Stalking and Physical Altercations
17:02 The Journey Through Reunification Therapy
22:03 Courtroom Drama and Public Humiliation
23:46 Co-Parenting Therapy and Custody Evaluation
29:05 Understanding the Legal System and Its Impact on Coercive Control
34:04 Professionals Need to Understand Coercive Control
39:42 Advocacy and Legislative Efforts for Change
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The information, recommendations, and opinions presented in this podcast are for information and entertainment purposes only and are not designed to replace therapy. This podcast is for private, non-commercial use and no intellectual property may be copied or reproduced without prior written consent from Prey VS Predator. Wherever possible, identities, locations, and circumstances have been changed to protect all involved and any similarities to people living or dead is purely coincidental.
I hope everyone sees this guy for what he put you and your child through.
38:10 Yes, it IS easy for those not living it to reduce it, minimize it, negate it, and gaslight you. They don't help that way at all.
31:36 This is, imo from my experience, bcz they love having the power dynamics always in their favor, so taking control of the narrative this way gives them the false authority that they want others to see, as they devalue you to them.
In my case the financial abuse was so extreme that the judge actually said “this sounds too extreme to be true…” and then trumped it up to that I was just better at keeping track of all the joint expenses and he must have missed the bills he paid. Of course his lawyer and him whole heartily agreed. However, if the judge had just taken stock of what was paid by me she would have saw that there was nothing left to pay. I did pay all the bills while he paid nothing, thankfully he didn’t get off the hook and has to pay but the court/judge totally missed the financial abuse that was happening.
35:41 Imo part of this is they don't have to care. There's no standard that requires these bureaucrats to give a real damn, and BECAUSE they're bureaucrats, they typically don't.
27:36 So true that apathetic bureaucrats never help.
34:17 All the people who DON'T understand are busy, and have lives and stuff of their own. When they see a set up circus, and a charming person and a frazzled one, they usually go with who they LIKE BETTER. Guess who's more likable, after being thrashed with invisible chains and abuses?
YUP.
15:26 They DO understand it, most of them. You don't understand. They are on a TEAM, and that team is AGAINST WOMEN.
Funny how this sounds so similar to organized stalking and harassment, A HUMAN RIGHTS CRIME.
Treating safety like a football game, where technicalities rule. Thry REALLY DO NOT GIVE A DAMN ABOUT WOMEN, AND ARE NOT SHY ABOUT PROVING IT.
AMBER HEARD WAS A PUBLIC EXAMPLE.