No Contact Rule When You Have Kids Together
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- Опубліковано 29 вер 2024
- No Contact Rule When You Have Kids Together: A Comprehensive Guide by Coach Lee for people who have been broken up with by someone with whom they have children.
Get Coach Lee's FREE Mini-Course On Saving A Marriage HERE: www.marriagera...
The complications of relationships are profound, and when separation or breakup occurs, it becomes even more intricate if children are involved. On his UA-cam channel, Coach Lee addresses this sensitive topic in his video entitled, "No Contact Rule When You Have Kids Together."
At its core, the 'No Contact Rule' emphasizes distance and non-communication with an ex to heal and possibly rekindle the relationship. However, when children come into play, a straight-forward 'No Contact Rule' isn't feasible. Thus, Coach Lee presents a modified version that considers the needs of children and the inevitable interdependencies that arise.
1. Get Your Time With Your Kids
One of the most paramount aspects of separation, especially when kids / children are involved, is ensuring both parents get quality time with their kids. Coach Lee emphasizes the importance of not using children as pawns in post-breakup power dynamics. Instead, he advocates for establishing clear boundaries and schedules to ensure that both parents get their due time. This not only provides a sense of stability and routine for the children but also ensures that they continue to receive love and support from both parents.
2. Speak to your spouse or partner about the kids, property, and a shared business
It's crucial to remember that even though the romantic aspect of the relationship may have ended for the moment, there are other ties that bind, especially concerning children, shared property, or business. Coach Lee highlights the significance of poliote, mature, and clear communication. If there are decisions to be made about the kids' schooling, extracurricular activities, or other major life events, both parents should be involved. Similarly, discussions about shared properties, financial responsibilities, or business dealings need to be approached with clarity and fairness. To navigate these discussions, Coach Lee suggests setting specific boundaries: keep conversations brief, stick to the point, and avoid delving into emotional or past relational issues.
3. Get a lawyer
Legal intervention might seem drastic, but it can sometimes be the best way to ensure that all parties involved are treated fairly and that there's a clear understanding of responsibilities. A lawyer can help in drafting custody agreements, dividing shared assets, and providing guidance on shared business ventures. Coach Lee's advice here is not about promoting hostility but about safeguarding interests, especially when emotions run high and clear judgment might be clouded.
4. Don't Badmouth Your Spouse to Your Kids and Demand They Respect Your Spouse
Children are impressionable, and the last thing they need during a tumultuous time of separation is to be caught in the crossfire of parental animosity. Coach Lee stresses the importance of shielding children from the negative emotions that may arise between separated parents. He firmly advises against speaking ill of the other parent in front of the children.
Furthermore, he underlines the importance of teaching children to respect both parents. This creates an environment where children feel safe and reduces the emotional trauma they might experience.
5. Plan Events Your Spouse or Partner Can Attend
This point is a testament to Coach Lee's commitment to prioritizing children's emotional wellbeing. Even post-separation, there will be significant events in the children's lives-be it a school play, a sports event, or a graduation ceremony. Coach Lee encourages parents to plan such events in a way that both can attend without friction. This not only demonstrates unity in parenting but also ensures that children get the support and love of both parents on crucial occasions.
Conclusion:
In his insightful video, Coach Lee navigates the intricacies of managing the 'No Contact Rule' in the unique context of shared parenting. The challenges are manifold, but with sensitivity, maturity, and a child-centric approach, it's possible to mitigate the trauma of separation for the young ones and lay down a foundation for effective co-parenting. Coach Lee's guidelines serve as a roadmap for parents striving to find a balance between personal healing and their responsibilities as co-parents.
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Thanks so much for the videos for marriage and separation. These are horrible situations to be in and feel hopeless.
@sarajanet7283it’s been 14 months apart. I’ve tried everything and made every mistake. Now I’m trying strategic contact as best I can and stopped pleading a couple months ago but he plows ahead with living his own life. I’ve changed which he recognizes and says it came too late. He didn’t feel loved and appreciated so now he’s spending some time with a ‘friend’. Whilst he was adamant he wants a divorce he hasn’t mentioned it for a few months. My kids want us back together and are not happy with him about this.
how can she miss you if you still around picking up de kids every week
Good question.. thats the dilemma I am having now. Any answers Coach?
If she left you, she WILL miss you, if you ONLY meet her because of the kids
In the meantime focus on your self, be attractive. She will notice the changes. If she notices, trust me, she WILL know that other women start to notice you
This guy is the best relationship coach out there. I said it.
Guys I took a year of no contact and life gets better. I’m healed… it’s not perfect but it will get better.. when I mean no contact…. No contact just strictly with the kids
Did the significant other actually come back
We need more of this videos.
We need more videos how to get over your ex when you have kids
Thanks Coach Lee for your videos,I followed your suggestions & it worked out where I focused on my personal growth. In this video; you first time discussed about kids. Look forward to have videos where children are adults (21&28 .in my case) and seperation took place in mid 50s' due to husband's EMA. after 29 years of marriage. Me DEVASTATED.
Iam from India, average women of my age,here are not financially independent.
Thanks once again.Your videos are so helpful.
This is a deadly problem no contact wen the other uses cops and kids to keep you away is discouraging to say least sadly the other party doesn't understand it destroys the child 😢😶 court doesn't care unless its about child support 🤬💯
Exactly, 💯% on point, most of the time you don't even know until they have unleashed this nuclear hell they designed while you were out there being a partner and a father, they'll weaponize time and money to then use it to weaponize you being able to see your kids. They not only encourage it they incentivise it because they make massive amounts of money from it, it's sick and the whole dam system needs to be overhauled because it's beyond inhumane.
Thankfully I don't have cops or anyone like that Involved In my situation but my ex limits my time to ONCE a week and It has to be at her house. It's the same house that we both lived In before and after our son was born. I've been In contact with a lawyer who told me that I need a place with at least two bedrooms so my son would have his own room etc. I'm currently working on that and then I'm going to take her to court If she hasn't allowed me to have more time with him. What makes me mad Is when I go up there every week to spend time with my son she wants to talk and tell me about what's going on at her job and other things. She will say and do things that I use to lmao at when she and I were together. She also puts certain movies on the TV that she and I would watch together. The last two months she has either cooked something when I'm up there and offers to make me a plate or she will already have something cooking. Example.. I told my son that I was trying to gain more weight and about an hour later she made potato soup and said to our son "Here eat this. This Is the type of food that sticks to your ribs and makes you gain weight". Knowing that was Intended for me... Just stuff like that. All I want Is to be able to go and pick my son up and take him with me!!!!!! Although I think she may be starting to regret her decision. She's 6 years older than I am and EVERY relationship she's been In has been abusive either physically or emotionally. She's always had to be the one that worked and supported her and them. I'm the only guy she's got a kid with, only one that didn't abuse her and the only one that kept a job and supported all of us while she was a stay at home Mom. I just want my son honestly.
Oh and I give her $80 a week to buy what our son needs for the week and I still buy him a toy and other things when I go up there every week.
@@XxJustinxx88 i just do 400 a month child support through federal payments, and permanently blocked her. Regardless. The court doesn't care if you're the better parent or more responsible they only care that she is the mother. Why put up with that mental abuse and weaponizing children against the bio father? Do not deal with it. Pay child support on time monthly, move on and forward. Start a new family, overseas traveling, and surrogacy agency.
What if stepchildren are involved? I've been their dad for 5yrs and now have no way to reach them I have no rights since I haven't adopted them. But still want to beable to be their for them no matter what happens
Will no contact still work if i been begging and pleading after the first month? We have 2 kids and its so hard when i see her
When you're a man that's been discarded and they have nothing but animosity and use the kids as a weapon and kidnapped them you legally just get screwed over. The best relationship advise you can ever get: don't get in one, because if you's have kids they'll just weaponise the love you have for your kids to be as viscous as possible, by the time you know what they've done you're legally checkmated and all you did was be a partner and a father.
100 facts kids suffer from it
@@unpoppinopinions yep and the women don't care, the amount of ruthlessness they are capable by using the kids is just sickening and the courts profit from it so they encourage this to get worse and worse, they don't actually take the kids wants and needs despite the facts of what it does to kids, they incentivise it, it's sick and inhumane.
I can relate on this. I’ve tried to keep in touch with my four kids. But she taught them that I want to kill my own kids. It didn’t work. And she decided to stop me meeting with them. And her lawyer said I abandoned the kids at the court. And because of that the kids hate me and do not want to see me anymore.
A man cannot go down at some point.
I always say time will tell.
@@Henrybrooks-hy2ul congratulations 👏 🙏🏿💯
Thank you Coach Lee! I watch another coach similar to you and people have been BEGGING him to upload a video on what people should do If you have kids together and his response? Sign up for my personal coaching... But you? Upload a video for free just to help all of us In this situation. Thank you!
Alright the video helps a lot
But what to do if my ex lies to the lawyer and says that i say bad things about her and her new rebound to the kids and the kids are now negativ to them ... but actually the only thing i say to the kids about them is that mom loves them and they should be nice
Thank you Coach for making videos for marriages. Can you tell me what else can i do if my husband left me (for different reasons, but mostly because i suffer with depression and anxiety and he said he lost feelings for me) and is already in serious(?) relationship with his coworker? After talking and begging for the first week I implemented no contact and started working on myself but he has already filed for divorce. We are separated for 2 months. We have very limited contact and I lost all my hope.
I don't mean to plug, but you REALLY need to get my free mini-course on saving a marriage. It will be so much more valuable than comments here. You can get it at myexbackcoach.com/hope-for-marriages-in-crisis/
Update please
Well, spending time with my kids isn’t hard considering that I still live with mom but mom wants divorce after 7 yrs and that we’re over. I’ve got 3 months to start changing her mind we have a family vacation coming up. We’ve had several talks and she’s firm in separating. When we had a conversation today so I could have some closure she said we know where both stand ( fix vs don’t) I said I hope and she huffed well you have 3 months to get me back. I failed our marriage because I let my inner child run it with its insecurities anger and all. So yes I’m glad the relationship is over because it was toxic because of the inner child but I don’t want to lose my marriage
Update please
My baby momma broke up with me because she lost feelings but she said we make beautiful kids together and that she wanna have more in the future but tells me she knows how her feelings are right now! Kinda confused on wat to do!
Get her pregnant and then go into no contact
Coach Lee I really need help, my gf broke up wt me a month ago and I found out recently during the “are we gonna break up period” she was talking and flirting with random guys online. I’ve kept in no contact but I’m just sitting here wanting to talk to her what do I do?
Definitely don't reach out to her. Yours is a classic case of absolute no contact. Do you have my Emergency Breakup Kit? If not, here is a discount code that takes 25% off of the price. The code is 2A53FC and you can use it at myexbackcoach.com/checkout/?level=1
My girlfriend and I were together for a year in May, and she was pregnant a few months into our relationship.
Our son is now 5 months old and has been hot and cold. Her actions never matched, it's been a month and hasn't been good. Last sunday we met in public, I asked if she still loves me. She said no, and that people have said, 'I don't deserve to be on the birth certificate'
That's just the short side of the story. Don't think she's coming back.
I asked if she went to the concert with a week after she told me she's 'just getting into the groove' after maternity leave, I asked her last weekend who she went with and said, none of your business, and if she's seeing someone again said none of your business' yet she was asking me in June if I was seeing someone or would tell her and said she loved me the end of june. Doesn't make sense.
What if she posts a picture of her daughter graduating from boot camp. I don’t want to seem petty for not liking the post of her daughter. I had a great relationship with her kids. What do I do?
What if the kids are hers and not yours. My ex (not married) has kids. She posted an important goal one of her daughters achieved. What do I do?
What if their still with the person they cheated on u with but has been off and on with u still saying he loves me he feels bad that’s why he’s with her , he tells me nice style , compliments me but in a relationship I can’t talk to him because she has him have me blocked so I have to speak to him thru his mom 😢
Thanks coach. Me and my ex have a child we separated in June and she recently started seeing someone, but me and her slept together 3 weeks ago. Last week her grandfather passed away. I know for a fact she will be calling me a lot to vent. Should I just cut her off and tell not to vent to me since she’s seeing someone else? I want her back but I really need to move forward and not stress anymore.
Thanks coach.
Ps. we are also going through a custody battle that I’m winning at the moment.
6 months, now she wants to go school shopping for our son together?
I’m trying to do strategic contact with my husband now. But it’s so hard because when he comes to see our son he comes to the house and sits here so I make small talk with him. Will this work even though I see him a few days a week?
Forget about my ex. Marry me, Coach Lee!
Thank you for the offer, but I'm already married. ;)
So what's your story
Im the shit end of silent treatment right now..only spent 2 weeks with our son since hes been born hes 17 months old now. Im doing no contact now but its hard worrying about our baby when she definitely struggles with alcoholism and possibly undiagnosed BPD.
The silent treatment usually comes up whrn i mention anything in the neighborhood of an adult conversation .
no ...that's like sucking up - no respect
Coach, what if she serving me papers for 50/50 joint custody? She filed for them on the 4th of June, but as of late, she’s been in my orbit, we spent time as a family and she kissed me? No serious talks tho, what should I do? Is she only doing it so she can look good in court?
Update please
You have kids, you communicate period. Be a fuckin adult... your relationship isn't shit. Your children are everything.
Did you watch the video? That’s what I said.
Love the videos.. my ex’s birthday is coming up and I want to text her happy bday. Her bday will be 2 months since the break up and there’s been no contact since the breakup. Should I text her or not
Don't do it. Don't text her. Focus on yourself
We have a new record, my first Mrs missed call on instagram from 2014 march, do I get a prize 😂, she doesn't have my number had to change it 4x
Response required coach
Hard to find videos like these
What if you’re going through a divorce trying to save the marriage but your wife is dating someone else and moved on too quickly
Update please
@@jasperkim5945 still going through the divorce now she wants me back and I don’t wanna come back to hurt from everything she did
Thanks Coach
I feel like i may have ruined my chances with him, i was extremely desperate when i was pregnant. I tried my best to het him to care, he didn't. After the baby, it was constant arguments everytime. She's 10 months old now, and the last time we spoke was 5 weeks ago. He told me he knows I'll always come around, so it inspired me to do the no contact thing with him, i wonder if i caused too much damage.
No just focus on yourself… trust me once you do that the pain goes away and you have more control over yourself and feelings
It's not fair to take things out on the children when you no longer want sex with the other person, is the worst for women.
Men go thru that too.
Bad Karma is what you will get in the end.
Grow up.
Kids suffer the most in most divorces simply bc their parents hold grudges against one another
Thanks so much Coach Lee for your videos. Been binge watching your videos and it has given me strength to stay strong during this time.
My husband moved out 3 weeks ago. He also told me that he wants a divorce and wants to file it by end of the year.
Deep down I don’t want a divorce 😢 we also have a toddler together. I just want my family back.
I’m just going to keep doing limited contact with him. Hoping for the best 😢
Actually, what you really need to do is get my free mini-course on saving a marriage at myexbackcoach.com/hope-for-marriages-in-crisis/
I’m so sorry you are going through this and I send good thoughts. I’ve been separated for 15 months and still have hope. Two kids 12 & 14. Divorce hasn’t been mentioned again for almost two months now.
Just follow what Coach Lee and Coach Ken recommend. I wish I had found them sooner before I made all the mistakes.
Update please