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Life is difficult. My mother living alone in a nursing home because she showed us depression.

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  • Опубліковано 15 сер 2024
  • Life is difficult. My mother living alone in a nursing home because she showed us depression.

КОМЕНТАРІ • 33

  • @jamarico16
    @jamarico16 5 місяців тому +12

    Depressione it's a Demon. The only thing we can do it's be near the person we love and try to give our support everytime it's possibile. Hope it will be all ok Greetings from Italy.

    • @askjapan9669
      @askjapan9669  5 місяців тому +2

      Thanks for your comment. Yes, indeed her depression never see the improvement, getting worse and worse. Really sad that we can’t do anything

  • @DanielK1213th
    @DanielK1213th 3 місяці тому +3

    Hi. Thanks for sharing this. I’m still in my 30s but my mom is getting old. Watching your videos, I feel like I need to prepare to take care of my mother. That means more money, more work (pain), and more studying.

  • @iancoll-tj7jm
    @iancoll-tj7jm 3 місяці тому +5

    I suggest that you live together with your mother because she needs you and your brother close to her. At her age she must feel lonely and she requires a to be around people who love and care about her.

  • @philosophum
    @philosophum 5 місяців тому +4

    Thank you for sharing, I'm having a similar situation with my own mother as well(she lives alone). It must be really lonely for her without family. It's natural that you have some regret about the decision... I for one could never go 3 years without seeing or talking to my mom. I think you should let your mother live with you or your brother from now on instead of a nursing home, if it's not too late.

    • @askjapan9669
      @askjapan9669  5 місяців тому +1

      Thanks for your comment. Living with her must be best option that I have but I still am hesitating this action.

  • @strawberryorange3755
    @strawberryorange3755 3 місяці тому +19

    Everyone keeps talking about legacy and having kids to continue bloodline and all that nonsense but what's the point when they're going to put you in nursing home and everyone is going to die alone anyway? Life is so depressing.

    • @AhriGames
      @AhriGames 3 місяці тому

      Is there any better thing to do?

    • @Nithinithinith
      @Nithinithinith 3 місяці тому +2

      It is all a lie. Avoid the kids , save your money and live in a luxury elderly home .

    • @Kurauone__
      @Kurauone__ 14 днів тому

      @@AhriGames You don't have to have kids.

    • @Kurauone__
      @Kurauone__ 14 днів тому

      That logic no longer applies. It makes more sense to not have kids and invest into your own life and retirement.

  • @eri7-11
    @eri7-11 3 місяці тому +16

    Oh god my 84 year old Japanese mom is living in upstate NY at ab independent retirement community. She is constantly suicidal, I talked to her psychiatrist. She recently tried to but a small gun to kill herself. She wrote to Oregon and Switzerland to allow her to have euthanasia but was rejected. She seems healthy enough otherwise. Her brother who lived in Japan killed himself long ago, her son from another marriage did as well. I cannot live with her, her temper is so bad and when she gets psychotic she says the devil tells her to do bad things. The police took her to the psyche ward a few times in the past ten years.
    Oh your mom uses a walker.

  • @user-c761
    @user-c761 5 місяців тому +6

    You can pay her a visit occasionally.
    In Musashi's novel, there was a saying that life is meaningless if we are not supporting others in life therefore we are a living thing because someone supported our life.
    Even if it's just 10 minutes or 30 minutes, go pay her a visit and let her talk to you, or be the one who strikes a conversation.
    I'm not trying to push my opinions or something, but both my parents have the same problem, and both of my grandparents have been a widow, and we pay them a visit every weekend
    I hope i could help you🤝🙇‍♂️

    • @askjapan9669
      @askjapan9669  5 місяців тому +3

      Thanks for your comment. I regret that I seldom went to see her. I will try my best.

    • @Dawsatek22
      @Dawsatek22 5 місяців тому

      may be take her out on a trip with the family@@askjapan9669

  • @tuulonyoutube2226
    @tuulonyoutube2226 3 місяці тому +8

    In my country we marry early, have kids early. So that when young parents busy with work their parents help looking after children. This way grands can engage with grandchikdren. Family tie, closeness is beneficial.

  • @orenschulman4554
    @orenschulman4554 3 місяці тому

    thanks

  • @taipangwong356
    @taipangwong356 3 місяці тому +1

    It's normal for elderly in Japan to be admitted to homes where they are taken care of by professionals.

    • @user-hf8nb9mb4e
      @user-hf8nb9mb4e 3 місяці тому

      But sometimes the nurse is a killer ! Several dementia patients were killed by a male nurse some time ago.

    • @Chantal-xt9ic
      @Chantal-xt9ic 2 місяці тому

      You do the best for her🌹

  • @Nithinithinith
    @Nithinithinith 3 місяці тому +3

    They say have kids so you don’t die alone ….. well well well

  • @pennyc7064
    @pennyc7064 3 місяці тому +1

    This is a very interesting topic. Is there a part 2. the video seems like it was cut off at the end and you did not finish what you wanted to say.
    I've seen many Asians families have their senior parents live with them if their spouse has passed. If that's what you think you want to do, then your mother will live with your family, would this be ok with your wife?
    I'm not saying that is what you should do, just that it is very common.
    I'm also curious as to why you asked your brother about how your mother was doing instead of asking her directly. Is it just Japanese custom to ask the older sibling instead of asking the person directly?

  • @Blessed69666
    @Blessed69666 2 місяці тому +3

    Your Mom doesnt have many more years to live. Why not take her to live with you and make her final years blissful living with her family? It might even be cheaper than nursing home since she doesnt have any health issues.

  • @eewilson9835
    @eewilson9835 3 місяці тому +1

    Hey, sounds like you have NO support, there are only nursing homes because no one wants to stick around and finds fault with everything to the point that they thing they are better in suffering, and their suffering is private. I hate to say, you just commited a woman to prison, and surviving war times means quite an insult. Feel better.

  • @user-hf8nb9mb4e
    @user-hf8nb9mb4e 3 місяці тому

    aging out is needed and good to level out the overcrowding in Japan. In the past parents created too many children. Today one child is already expensive and a burden. Japanese can no longer handle 3 children. So of course less younger people. The large offspring of the past are know in their 70s.

    • @DanielK1213th
      @DanielK1213th 3 місяці тому +1

      On the contrary, Japan is the best place to raise children. There’s zero medical expense for children and the school is free. As long as the parents are together, they can make a living. Children don’t require much. Just food, shelter, and love.

    • @user-hf8nb9mb4e
      @user-hf8nb9mb4e 3 місяці тому

      @@DanielK1213th The point is too many people. In the Edo period 30 million inhabitants with a raise of 2 million in a couple of years. Now 125 million. Absolutely impossible to have the space to live safely with this amount: tsunami coasts, volcanic eruptions, country side landslides, overcrowding in cities. Still breed more babies is crazy.

    • @user-hf8nb9mb4e
      @user-hf8nb9mb4e 3 місяці тому

      @@DanielK1213th The man just complained how expensive life is in Japan with three children to feed !

    • @user-hf8nb9mb4e
      @user-hf8nb9mb4e 3 місяці тому

      Why keeping the 125 million unsustainable amount of people ?

    • @user-hf8nb9mb4e
      @user-hf8nb9mb4e 2 місяці тому

      @@DanielK1213th Why should Japan maintain 125 million inhabitants ? Where can they live ? In overcrowded cities, landslide mountains, tsunami coasts, flooding river sides, next to volcanoes ?