Don’t feel guilty for how you feel. Not everything is binary, and two truths can exist…

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  • Опубліковано 7 вер 2024
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 158

  • @robpow36088
    @robpow36088 8 місяців тому +121

    Toxic positivity includes toxic shaming of accomplishments that are worked, struggled, and sacrificed for.

    • @peaceofmindofpeace1650
      @peaceofmindofpeace1650 8 місяців тому +8

      Exactly..I just commented the same, after getting a reaction from a coach who gave me a subtle judging hint to be grateful.
      Especially if we are hurting and nobody knows what we went through more lately, moralistic positivity is pretty arrogant and shows lack of empathy.
      I can feel grateful which is a spontaneous emotion but I can't force this on anyone else.

    • @deanwelch1154
      @deanwelch1154 Місяць тому

      Aww kati I'm so sorry

  • @starlingswallow
    @starlingswallow 8 місяців тому +88

    We moved from an apartment to a house back in July and I was SO SAD. I was happy to be in a house away from all the apartment woes, but we'd spent our first 3 years married in that Apt! All our memories! My sweet hubby said, "Give yourself permission to grieve the loss of our apartment and saying goodbye to the memories we made there, and we can take them with us❤"
    What a man! I allowed myself to cry and cry.

    • @peaceofmindofpeace1650
      @peaceofmindofpeace1650 8 місяців тому +6

      Im still decorating my old sold apartment in my mind and how I could have renovated the kitchen and how low my mortgage was and free view on trees.
      Im in an insecure season looking for a job and I know if my financial status is back to secure I can see the good in my present apartment.
      What a sweet husband to say that and wise to say that. Gives me hope for dating and reminder to only accept a person who is emptionally understanding 😊
      Wishing you a great life in the new house 🎉

    • @Ohthemarvelousmusic
      @Ohthemarvelousmusic 8 місяців тому +1

      That is so beautiful!!❤️❤️

    • @CARLA-un1eh
      @CARLA-un1eh 8 місяців тому

      I THINK I UNDERSTAND. ✨ CHILDREN ✨. MY HEART HASN'T CHANGED ABOUT THIM RIGHT MY CHILDREN ARE BEST THINGS THAT HAPPENED TO ME. LET'S TALK ABOUT IT MY OLDEST SON HE WAS KINDA HIPER HE WAS ONE PERSON BUT HE WAS LIKE 7 . BUT WHEN HE HIT 6AND 7YRS THINGS A LITTLE HARDER I DON'T KNOW HE WENT TO MY NEIGHBOR HOUSE BROKE INTO THERE ICE CREAM TRUCK HE WENT TELL ALL THE KIDS FREE ICE CREAM NOW IN MY NEIGHBOR HOOD WAS FULL OF CHILDREN YOU KNOW BLOCK PARTIES SAM SAM THE ICE CREAM MAN HE DID CRAZY THINGS LIKE WHEN SOMEONE CALL ME FROM HIS SCHOOL ASK WAS I MISSING ANY MONEY I SAID LET ME CHECK I LOOKED IN MY PURSE HALF MY MONEY WAS MISSING HE WAS PASSING OUT MONEY SAM SAM THE MONEY MAN I SAID SAM WHY YOU PASSING OUT MONEY LIKE THAT DON'T YOU KNOW I GOTTEN PAY BILLS HE SAID REMEMBER WE HAVE TO GIVE TO THE POOR . I SAID THOSE S KIDS AN'T POOR. HE ASKED WHY I DON'T WHAT WAS GOING ON HE KEPT ASKING WHY WHEN I WAS BUYING FOOD TO MAKE SANDWICHES TO PASS OUT. WHY SOMETIMES I WOULD GIVE OUT SINGLES I GUESS HE THOUGHT HE WAS DOING THE LORD WORK. SO DIDN'T GET ALL MY MONEY BACK. HE WOULD DO THINGS AND WHEN I ASKED HIM WHY HE WOULD RAISE HIS SHOULDERS ALMOST TO HIS EARS AND LET THEM DROP AND LOOK AT ME BLANK I DON'T KNOW. I PUT HIM ON PUNISHMENT TOLD HIM TO STAY IN HIS ROOM. WHEN I WENT TO CHECK ON HIM HE WAS PLAYING WITH HIS TOY'S AND I LEARNED IT'S A GOOD THING TO PUT HIM IN HIS ROOM. A COUPLE HOURS EXSPECILY IF I WAS COOKING OR A IMPORTANT PHONE CALL. ONE DAY I'M SITTING IN THE LIVING ROOM SAM RAN PAST IN A FLASH WENT IN HIS ROOM. I STARTED PRAYING LORD WHAT HE DID NOW. I HEARD A KNOCK ON MY MY DOOR LIKE THE POLICE KNOCKING REAL HARD AND FAST I WENT TO SAM'S ROOM GRABBED HIM BY SHIRT TOOK HIM TO THE FRONT DOOR. WHEN I OPEN THE DOOR IT WAS 15 KIDS AT MY DOOR. 15 Y'ALL I SAID FIRST OF ALL WHO WAS KNOCKING AT MY DOOR LIKE THEY CRAZY. NOBODY ANSWERED I WHAT'S WRONG WITH Y'ALL EVERY SINGLE ONE HAD SOMETHING IN THEY HAND. YOU WOULD SAY WHERE DID THEY GET THIS STUFF FROM BAT'S STICKS CREATS EVERYBODY HAD SOMETHING IN THEY HAND. I WHAT'S WRONG WITH Y'ALL THEY SAID SAM STUCK UP HIS MIDDLE FINGER CUZED AND SAID YO MAMA. ONE COULDN'T COME TELL ME Y'ALL HAD TO TRY TO BEAT HIM WITH A STICK. NO ONE SAID NOTHING. I TOLD SAM TO APOLOGIZE. HE SAID IT BUT STEP BEHIND ME EVERYBODY FACE LOOKED CALMED FOR A MINUTE THEN IT CHANGED I LOOKED BEHIND ME SAM HAD BOTH HIS MIDDLE FINGER'S UP AND THUST HIS HIPS FORWARD. NAH GO HEAD OUTSIDE I TOLD THEM ONLY ONE PERSON COULD FIGHT HIM. LEARNING AS I GO. SO ONE STEP UP HE HAD A MILK CREATIN HIS HAND I SAID NO WEAPON'S. THAT'S WHEN I SAW IT. A BIG SMILE CAME OVER MY SON'S FACE. HE RAN AND DROPPED KICKED THIS BOY AND BEAT HIM UP PRETTY QUICK. THAT'S WHEN I FOUND OUT MY SON MIGHT BE WATCHING TOO MUCH NINJA TURTLES. AND I TOOK IT. BE CAREFUL WHAT YO KIDS BE WATCHING. IT'S NOT GOOD. NEXT TIME I'LL TELL YOU WHEN HIS TEACHER PUT HIM OUT THE CLASS HE RAN OUTSIDE AND STARTED THROWING ROCKS AT HIS TEACHER THROUGH THE WINDOW. SOOO YOU SAY CARLA WHY DIDN'T YOU WUPPE YOU'RE SON. I'M CREATED DIFFERENT I SPANKED HIS HAND'S AND FAST AND PRAYED A LOT. I'M A NEW BREED MY KIDS SAFETY. NEXT TIME I'LL TELL YOU ABOUT MY NEIGHBOR WHO INVOLUNTARY HELP HELP ME WITH MY KIDS EXSPECILY SAM HE DIDN'T KNOW IT THOUGH HE WAS SO SWEET HE WOULD FUSS AT SAM STRAIGHTEN HIM OUT SOMETIMES HE DIDN'T KNOW IT THOUGH. OK LET ME TELL YOU SOOO I DIDN'T TALK MUCH BUT I PRAYED FOR HELP RIGHT. THIS IS HOW IT STARTED MY WAS OUT SIDE FUSSING AT HE WAS ALWAYS GET INO STUFF. SOOO FOR WHAT EVER REASON MY SON WENT DOWN THE STREET AND PULLED UP THE LADY FLOWERS I'M NOT SURE BUT I THINK IT WAS MORE THAN ONE SO WHEN THEY TOLD ME I ASKED SAM WHY DID YOU GO DOWN THE STREET AND PULL UP EVERYBODY FLOWERS THERE HE WENT WITH THE SHOULDER'S RAISE THEM AND DROP THIM BUT MY NEIGHBOR GRABED HIM BY THE SHIRT AND FUSSED SO BAD I WAS SCARED. WHEN HE TURN HIM A LOOSE HE RAN IN THE HOUSE AND WAS SO POLITE AND SWEET FOR A MONTH. YEPPERS HE WAS MY BEST FRIEND SINCE I ALWAYS KNEW WHAT HE WAS THINKING WE HELP EACH OTHER OUT IF HE WAS IN A BINE NEED MONEY I WOULD CREATE A WAY TO GIVE IT TO I'LL ASK HIM DO SOMETHING AROUND THE HOUSE AND PAY HIM WITH WHAT EVER THEY NEEDED MOST TIMES THE PAYMENT WAS WAY MORE THAN THE JOB WAS WORTH. HE WAS MY BEST FRIEND ONLY THING WE NEVER REALLY TALKED. IT WAS MY FAULT I LOST HIS FRIENDSHIP GET IN HIS BUSINE SOME WOMEN WAS FLIRTING WITH HIM AT FIRST HE DIDN'T LET IT BOTHER HIM BUT ONE DAY SHE TOUCH HIM 🥺 EVEN THO I PRAY FOR HIM SHE WOULDN'T STOP SOOO WHEN I SAW HIS WIFE I ASKED HER WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF HE CHEATED ON YOU SHE LOOK AT ME AND I LOOKED OVER HIM TRYING TO DECIDE IF I WAS GOING TO TELL HER OR NOT MAYBE IF I TOLD HER SHE WOULD GO BEAT HER UP. I DIDN'T SAY NOTHING BUT HE DID PUT HIS FOOT DOWN. THAT WAS GOOD BUT OWER FRIENDSHIP WAS DESTROYED HIS WIFE THOUGHT IT WAS ME. NO MATTER WHAT I DID WE COULDN'T BE FRIENDS I THINK HIS WIFE WAS MAKING HIS LIFE MISABLE . I COULDN'T EXSPOSE MY SELF AND EXPLAIN. WHEN THEY MOVE. THEY NEVER KNEW. 😢

    • @Meg.1122
      @Meg.1122 7 місяців тому +1

      You're so lucky, he seems so sweet and understanding.

  • @theavastark6463
    @theavastark6463 8 місяців тому +99

    As a grown man, this is very helpful, I'm allowed to feel this way, even it I feel I shouldn't

    • @peaceofmindofpeace1650
      @peaceofmindofpeace1650 8 місяців тому +11

      Yes.
      We are often strict to ourselves, who knows bc of the voices from others which we internalize.

  • @lauraashley8208
    @lauraashley8208 8 місяців тому +43

    I wish you were my therapist. ❤ thank you for sharing.

  • @MsOldmom
    @MsOldmom 8 місяців тому +21

    Oh, Katie, whatever you are feeling, I know what you are saying. So sorry and sad for whatever you are going through.

  • @solidstehl9546
    @solidstehl9546 8 місяців тому +26

    You are seen, you are heard, you are cherished. Namaste 🙏

  • @user-nt4oy8cu1n
    @user-nt4oy8cu1n 8 місяців тому +30

    I have always found that a good sob is quite healing. Love ya!

  • @kiyoicraig4747
    @kiyoicraig4747 8 місяців тому +16

    ❤ Katie, thank you for your honesty and vulnerability. I so agree that as therapists we and others expect that our lives are together. It's a weight we need not bare.

  • @ThursdayASMR
    @ThursdayASMR 8 місяців тому +13

    Two truths can exist. Wow that is the best thing I've read all day. ❤

  • @austintuttle5723
    @austintuttle5723 8 місяців тому +17

    Just moved in to a new apartment, and I totally relate.. I feel like I "should" be happier and more excited, and feel guilty/worried when I'm still unhappy.. thank you for understanding

    • @peaceofmindofpeace1650
      @peaceofmindofpeace1650 8 місяців тому +4

      I relate and then I tell myself: stop, you are here now in 2023 in this place
      I feel like I lost a basic inner happines or rest since I moved twice in the last 4 years.
      It feels strange as if I left myself in my old apartment.
      Moving houses is a life event and can even cause traumatic stress symtons or depression for some.
      So jeah it helps to know these feelings are pretty common and will pass over time. Just like a break up.

  • @meleciamegan
    @meleciamegan 8 місяців тому +14

    Love you, Kati ❤️ thanks for sharing your story with us❤❤

    • @dlwsport250
      @dlwsport250 8 місяців тому +1

      I am so grateful that you shared this with us. As for me, it’s oddly my story today. Thank you again.

  • @bastbotanicals
    @bastbotanicals 8 місяців тому +8

    I Love You- thank you for always sharing authentic content. We’re all in this together.

  • @ryanwardcomedy
    @ryanwardcomedy 8 місяців тому +7

    I remember me and my brother were renting a house together around lockdown...I decided I was tired of paying someone else's mortgage and after saving for years and my mums help I bought my own home in summer 2021...everyone around me was happy proud and supportive but all I felt was pressure pressure pressure...ppl around me wer talking about decorating etc and all I could think was...how am I going to take care of myself...what am I going to do with my days how lonely am I doing to be, will I be able to self motivate daily, what if I can't keep up rent, what if I get depressed, do I want to be tied to my home town, do I even want to live here, what if I want to move...I felt like I was walking into a giant venus fly trap and this continued...I ended up moving back in with my parents 3 months ago and rented my house out...but the outside perspective "you are in ur 30s and own ur own home", "you are so independent", "decorating a house and putting your own stamp on it much be so much fun", "it must be great to have your own space" ....none of this was the case lol...ther wer days I wud just sit in bed and smoke and cry...I still wonder why I reacted the way I did and even I think I should have made the most of it...out my own stamp on the house, had people over more but I just couldn't feel that way...it was just stress daily...I have soke shame for moving back in with parents and maybe a flatmate would have been the way to go but again...I cudnt deal with that unknown...anyway I stayed sober and I am OK today

  • @badtoad6865
    @badtoad6865 8 місяців тому +6

    Be nice to yourself. You are a good person and you help so many people. You are important, if someone hurt your feelings they're probably jealous. I think your great.

  • @blueberries9850
    @blueberries9850 8 місяців тому +7

    I feel this, sometimes I’m negative situations where someone is suffering or my family is going through a tough time, I become super cheerful and I realize it’s not appropriate to be that way but I also don’t understand why I always react like that. I feel like I am being annoying and inappropriate.

  • @hayleywood2444
    @hayleywood2444 8 місяців тому +6

    I call those should a - Bullshoulds

  • @user-zo8rd7oh5s
    @user-zo8rd7oh5s 8 місяців тому +8

    Thank you Katie for Sharing you have been so great and wonderful in helping me over the years your a strong family counselor that help me overcome all my fears to stay strong and move on with my life to my new place.

  • @diane4488
    @diane4488 8 місяців тому +2

    Moving home is incredibly stressful, as you know.
    And very mixed. There are always gains, and losses.
    I moved 200 miles, 2yrs ago.
    I was very pleased, and excited, but also very sad. Ive been quite depressed for a couple of years, and kept bursting into tears, at the drop of a hat.
    It's only quite recently that i am starting to feel more balanced, and less sad.
    Our feelings are horrid at times.
    But they are what they are.
    You are so brave to be so vulnerable in front of everyone.
    Sending you love, light and healing energy.
    💜❤️💜❤️💜❤️💜

  • @kimberlyanahi5860
    @kimberlyanahi5860 8 місяців тому +4

    Thank you Kati for sharing. I wish I could continue talking as I cry but in therapy it's always a full breakdown and I can't speak. I'm in awe of you haha ❤ sending love and healing energy!

  • @j.l.5095
    @j.l.5095 8 місяців тому +2

    How it looks and how it feels can be very different ❤ yes we are allowed to feel this way, thanks for sharing your story!

  • @user-gn3ps7df5s
    @user-gn3ps7df5s 8 місяців тому +2

    You’ve helped so many people throughout the years! You deserve to be happy! You’re allowed to feel what you feel, you’re not a bad person for how you feel. This goes for all of us!

  • @moonstonemystic
    @moonstonemystic 8 місяців тому

    I totally relate. And just because we are happy overall, doesn't mean that we can't feel sad, mad, frustrated, or overwhelmed. ❤

  • @calmastorm5144
    @calmastorm5144 8 місяців тому +1

    Hugs I'm so sorry for your pain.. ❤

  • @estheradao
    @estheradao 8 місяців тому +1

    It’s okay to not be okay sometimes, take care ❤thanks for your advices and UA-cam channel that helps a lot of ppl.

  • @risumatsunoki7671
    @risumatsunoki7671 8 місяців тому

    Oh I feel this so much. I'm from Ukraine and haven't left the country once for the past couple of years and I got so depressed and burned out, and it only got worse and worse until I got far enough with my therapy I guess. It's been extremely hard (and even painful) to be constantly pushed to stay strong and unbreakable despite all the stress, all the sadness around, sleepless nights every week and not knowing if you wake up or not if you sleep through an air siren, not to mention financial struggles on top of that. I even got to the point of changing workplaces hoping it could be better at a new place but it ended up being even more pressing for staying positive and 200% productive. And it has been just recently that I started to allow myself to FEEL BROKEN when it's hard and to FEEL fear when it's scary. I truly believed that letting those feelings in would be the end of it all but I am actually able to process them now and start my recovery. Blocking "negative" feelings only makes them more powerful in the end. I wish I knew that earlier.

  • @marymarcus5042
    @marymarcus5042 8 місяців тому

    My mother always told me there has to be darkness so you can appreciate the light. She also said that just because you get depressed does not make you abnormal because if you are never depressed you won't understand true happiness. As a kid, I was taught never to give up the ship and never go down without a fight! That's the old teachings, and it made people strong! We need that again. ❤

  • @petafoster5084
    @petafoster5084 8 місяців тому

    Katy, I feel for you so much. I feel that emotions are messages. If you are feeling stressed or sad or whatever, it's a message. I think 'should' is often used as a self judgement rather than as a reflection on that message.
    "My keys should be in this bowl but they're not" doesn't carry moral judgement... I think it's what comes next. "... I wonder where they might be." is curious and optimistic, whereas "...oh I must have lost them, this always happens, I'm so... x y z".
    On my journey so far I have learnt that sooooo many things affect my emotions. If I'm low in iron I'm tired, if I'm low in vitamin D I'm sad, if I eat gluten I am horrifically depressed for 2 days (so I really avoid gluten), if I get triggered (cptsd) then I can be dis-regulated for 1-2 days. If I don't move my body, I get tense. There are loads more too and I'm still learning and uncovering more triggers and gunk I'm carrying.
    Trying to 'just be ok' doesn't really work for me. I have to really shift into a mode where I become my own care director. I treat myself like my own patient and I look at everything and try things to see what works. One day I hope I'll get to the point when it's easy, but it's easier now that I assume that there is a reason I'm down even if I don't know what it is, because it could be hormones or food intolerance or vitamin deficiency or social issue or stored trauma or unknown triggers etc.
    Being responsible for your own happiness doesn't make it easy to achieve. All you can do is keeps putting one step in front of the other in the direction that looks most reasonable at the time. Keep reaching out, while you might be the person ultimately where the buck stops in terms of your happiness, other people will care. You're the team lead but there will always be people with enough in their cups to still help 🤗
    Don't feel like you have to do it alone. You are a social creature as we all are. It's easier when a problem is shared. 🤗
    Happy to talk if you ever want to. Big love for you sista!

  • @michellek6581
    @michellek6581 8 місяців тому

    Stress is stress. Hormones definitely don’t help. When most people had cramps and why is everyone being mean to me days… I had major depression, migraines and mood swings to very risky behavior. My gran used to call it my howling at the moon phase. Many years later after different meds and maybe diagnosis… cPTSD and ADHD pretty much make a huge bunch of sense. To this day I can be cocooned in bed feeling very emotional and blue and completely aware that all the dialogue in my head is hurtful and just need to get up and care about self… doesn’t make it any easier. It’s still hard. The no excuses folks can sit down and marinate in they don’t know everything. But I do wish you a bunch of hugs and this is a little reminder you’ll pull through if you keep trying. Tell inner voice to stop being a bully and be kind. Be kind like you are for so many others. ((Hugs)).

  • @AngieTwenty3
    @AngieTwenty3 8 місяців тому

    You're human too! A friend and I were just talking about how clinicians such as yourself, are all going through your own healing journeys, too!
    You are allowed to be just as real, raw, and to feel the emotions and think the thoughts as they come...if you didn't you wouldn't be able to be as effective and influential or relatable and credible as you are! Keep going, doc, you've got this!
    Don't should on yourself :)

  • @chanelchristin4503
    @chanelchristin4503 8 місяців тому

    Gosh I feel you ❤ You're awakening, ascending - be very gentle with yourself rediscovering yourself ❤❤

  • @LibraryAngel
    @LibraryAngel 8 місяців тому

    When you move somewhere new and you don’t know anybody at that place; it takes time to build a community of friends! Be patient and give yourself grace! You have every right to your feelings Kati 💞

  • @Sheik2791
    @Sheik2791 8 місяців тому

    I feel this so much, its so difficult to explain why your emotions are all over the place even when you think should be happy it doesn't invalidate your feelings ❤

  • @SzilviaFarkas-dg2zr
    @SzilviaFarkas-dg2zr 7 місяців тому

    That’s absolutely true
    I felt that so many situations when people expected me to be happy but I actually felt different and felt guilty or ashamed to express my feelings.

  • @Kbe986
    @Kbe986 6 місяців тому

    Thank you for this. I feel like the world expects me to have it all together and the pure embodiment and model of perfect mental health because of my work.

  • @LauraGonzalez-vn3cc
    @LauraGonzalez-vn3cc 8 місяців тому

    You are AWESOME no matter what, hugs from Mexico.

  • @hollyjay3628
    @hollyjay3628 8 місяців тому

    Thank you for being so open. This is such a healing message for me❤

  • @RedandBlackS10
    @RedandBlackS10 8 місяців тому

    "How it looks and how it feels can be drastically different." It's so easy to get caught up in that. It's no different than when people are posting pictures on insta. It's not the whole story, it's only taking the positive aspects from it. I don't know what your going through, but it seems like the way you should be feeling is exactly how you're feeling.

  • @SkorchWulf
    @SkorchWulf 8 місяців тому

    I've been feeling some way like that lately with the UNLV shooting. I was in the building where the shots started, on the first floor, and every instinct in my mind was already prepared for me to die. I told myself I SHOULD die today, whether by sacrifice or otherwise, and here I am commenting on this UA-cam video. I'm alive. It didn't get to that scenario. I'm still wrangling with other parts of it, but I'm starting to realize it's OKAY to be thankful to be alive and still want to honor those who didn't make it, even if every bone in my body was ready to go out. I'm sure there's more shoulds here, but I haven't had a therapist in a hot min (long story). In any case, I've realized it's okay to feel thankful AND mournful, even if mourning is the one that feels appropriate and not the other. It's okay to feel both. Shoulds be damned. I wanted to share, I hope it's of value to somebody.

  • @arthurlockwood8735
    @arthurlockwood8735 7 місяців тому

    I'm 73 men life is hard enough. Ino what you saying it stinks. I'm on my own. No excuses. I'm with you take care of yourself love from Lancashire England UK pendle 🇬🇧🙏

  • @GD-cr5um
    @GD-cr5um 8 місяців тому

    People who cry like her r so brave❤❤❤ I've been mistreated my entire life and I'm struggling to express 💔

  • @debkiehm7634
    @debkiehm7634 8 місяців тому +1

    Yes I agree ..... I get comments on occasion that I should be happy and grateful for all that I have -- 😆 don't be sad be happy but here's what I have found.
    You can be all of those at the same time but the deep sadness (depression) often takes front and center because it needs to "get out" 😌
    I'm not really sure, but I get it 😣
    Sending prayers and love and blessings to everybody who suffers from anxiety and depression Xxoo
    You're not alone. ☝️💙🙏🏼💜🙏🏼

  • @sashavonspakovsky311
    @sashavonspakovsky311 8 місяців тому

    Thank you for sharing! Keep going and accept your feelings! Praying for you!

  • @UnKnown-zs5ir
    @UnKnown-zs5ir 8 місяців тому

    Just know Katy that we support you along your journey with a kind and friendly hand! 😊 Happy New Year, and may health and happiness come your way this year and beyond.

  • @Mossy-Rock
    @Mossy-Rock 8 місяців тому

    Thank you for sharing your feelings with us. This is helping me to understand things. I am going through something very similar after moving across the country in 2022. I am grieving the loss of friends and an area that I loved. Our new area is alien to me with many new issues to handle and I “should” just adapt, right? The message I get from many is that I should just “get over it” and be thankful for everything. Well, ok, but it just doesn’t work that way for everyone. We all process grief differently.

  • @dianat5305
    @dianat5305 8 місяців тому

    100% We can feelings that do fit everybody’s expectations of what they think is “the right way”

  • @barbaradellarocco5132
    @barbaradellarocco5132 8 місяців тому

    It is difficult and refreshing when one is expressing true thoughts and feelings

  • @ehowiehowie7850
    @ehowiehowie7850 8 місяців тому

    Remember "good enough IS good enough....". You are probably stressed , struggling with change /isolation /overwhelmed & have to much to do.

  • @gigglynatalie
    @gigglynatalie 8 місяців тому

    Aww I wanna hug you. Thank you for being vulnerable with us. It is hard not to "should" ourselves.

  • @annamarieklups6499
    @annamarieklups6499 8 місяців тому

    Acceptance is what will help. And letting go of expectations ❤

  • @tanjaovsenik81
    @tanjaovsenik81 8 місяців тому

    You have every right to process emotions. It is called inner work. Pain should not make anyone happy. Leaving some part behind - hurts.

  • @chad849
    @chad849 8 місяців тому

    I feel u girl … I’m completely devastated over losing my friendship 😭…. How can people be so heartless

  • @ThePortalTheory
    @ThePortalTheory 8 місяців тому

    I had a friend receive 4 million $ and she cried and felt bad for her feelings. She didnt want $ she wanted her husband to be alive to share it. Everyone is different and its no ones business how you process. ❤

  • @sandrakrahn6163
    @sandrakrahn6163 8 місяців тому

    I love your authenticity! I struggle daily with guilt.

  • @dbrundirksart
    @dbrundirksart 7 місяців тому

    I love your genuine side. My suggestion is music. Alone in the dark. Cry alone. Let it out. Let it all out.

  • @lisacrow5762
    @lisacrow5762 8 місяців тому

    Sending you love Kati. Be kind to yourself. ❤

  • @Malika_Deci
    @Malika_Deci 7 місяців тому

    🤗, thanks for being so transparent

  • @hallohowruxD
    @hallohowruxD 8 місяців тому

    I hope you're doing okay Katie ❤️ everything will turn out just fine 😊

  • @ashiff7781
    @ashiff7781 8 місяців тому

    Good massage. Being dismissed by people around us teaches us to become dismissal of our own feelings I guess....

  • @magesense456
    @magesense456 8 місяців тому

    This came at the exact time I needed..this is what I’m going through.

  • @indridcold8433
    @indridcold8433 8 місяців тому

    I am a worthless mound of excrement when it comes to allowing any change in my life. This is why I disallow any major change in my life.

  • @christinescompassionatecare
    @christinescompassionatecare 8 місяців тому

    ❤Just sending you some love & hugs
    As a fellow LMFT. I know how difficult life can feel sometimes.

  • @trubrewman
    @trubrewman 8 місяців тому +1

    The only caution against Woulda Shoulda Coulda is how a person feels about it. And that, of course, is an illusion. When we gain true inner peace through gratitude, presence, self-love and acceptance, NO other person, thing or situation can take that away. We are no longer a prisoner of the illusion (aka the ego) and now free to serve the Soul.

  • @nineangels7572
    @nineangels7572 8 місяців тому

    Understood. I have everything in life & fortunately was able to work hard for everything. What I want most is love, a companion or partner & that's what I long for. Love is what we need the most. I have self love, faith & pets, but I long for a special someone, a companion.

  • @kessaladel5747
    @kessaladel5747 8 місяців тому

    But if what appears is horrible, you hardly can imagine that it feels any near to good. I can't have expectations as I am living in this third world. No one sang me lullaby, no one made close my eyes, so far from the bummer of the land, I look to the sky and imagine my self as that motionless albatross.

  • @RJones-tn5vg
    @RJones-tn5vg 8 місяців тому

    I feel this deeply. I have a very good life and I still go through depression. It sucks.

  • @timshelton5120
    @timshelton5120 8 місяців тому

    Thank you for this..❤️

  • @Mimiobsuna
    @Mimiobsuna 8 місяців тому +6

    I hope your doing okay

  • @coffeeandhorses7991
    @coffeeandhorses7991 8 місяців тому

    Wow! I would not want a therapist who has a nervous break down every month! So unprofessional. Enough with the pity parties.

  • @Samrules4ever
    @Samrules4ever 8 місяців тому

    May i say "Don't care about people's opinion or thoughts. They can think whatever they want so can you. You will be happier that way." ❤

  • @ClaireStone999
    @ClaireStone999 8 місяців тому

    Thank you for this ❤

  • @autumnvalerio1231
    @autumnvalerio1231 8 місяців тому

    It’s like a book... a book can look so beautiful on the outside but be so distorted on the inside.
    Living with this has made me question my sanity and worth . Only life preserver that has kept me afloat is one name
    Jesus Christ. Only way to peace that doesn’t make sense.

  • @LabCat
    @LabCat 8 місяців тому

    I love the phrase "should'ing all over yourself." I'm going to use that with my therapist next week. Thank you Kati!

  • @zenphony
    @zenphony 8 місяців тому

    Achievement and happiness are independent variables.

  • @tebmot
    @tebmot 8 місяців тому

    I think that is what causes, or what used to cause, our unhappiness. Like you feel guilty for being unhappy because it looks like you should be happy! And when one feels it feels like you are being ungrateful for what you have. And then you feel guilty, and then you get depressed, and then you lose everything, and then you feel humiliated... Etc. I think we we must develop the tools to enable us to be both be good people and not feel guilty when it's your turn to receive what you deserve. I think we should learn to accept without feeling guilty about... I'm not sure. But I how i feel sometimes. Like everything would be feeling terrible inside, and everything looks all candy coated outside...

  • @kilpel2
    @kilpel2 8 місяців тому

    All those people that are telling you, you should, are not really your friends. They should be supportive of your true feelings! Maybe your heart is not in Texas.❤

  • @junkettarp8942
    @junkettarp8942 8 місяців тому

    Im sorry your suffering Katie...Pleas try and let go for a while.

  • @johnnafisher3123
    @johnnafisher3123 8 місяців тому

    # relateable girl I just moved on the sixth. of December. And I want to curl up into a ball.
    Everything has been so much new that I failed like my body just wants a shutdown.
    Thanks for doing what you do. Low-key c USA big sister.🥰

  • @MikeDe-io7mi
    @MikeDe-io7mi 7 місяців тому

    Hi! I’m new to your channel and wanted to comment . I have CPTSD DID DDNOS OSDD and a few other things . We hope you feel better soon

  • @darold1966
    @darold1966 8 місяців тому

    Thank you!
    😊

  • @T77489
    @T77489 8 місяців тому

    Sending you love & hugs ❤

  • @chickenbiscuit4525
    @chickenbiscuit4525 8 місяців тому

    Dredge stop or dred stop.
    Fear of uncertainty.
    You are grateful for the feelings that you have bestowed upon you.
    That's one step ahead of the punishers, and they will come to admire not guilt, should atleast we hope so from you within ourselves, as circular.
    We are a collective, get dumped discarded, there's others noone else would, ever..
    We save, reave and self deprave. So ordinarily. So sorry some can't, can we lift or avoid to retrieve them?

  • @devilsadvocacy
    @devilsadvocacy 8 місяців тому

    Sending you a big hug 🤗🥰 ❤

  • @arianebennion
    @arianebennion 8 місяців тому

    I'm right there with you!

  • @chrysiarose
    @chrysiarose 8 місяців тому

    Just bought my first home ever at 60, and it sucks in a lot of ways - I am both happy and pissed. I live under drug addicts, and deal with that. Im a disabled veteran and I am too old and in pain to do my own repairs. And is it worth making my unit nice when all my neighbors are renters and destroy the place? But it was cheaper than rent, even in the ghetto areas. You feel the way you feel. People can go jump in the freeway at rush hour.

  • @primesidedown666
    @primesidedown666 8 місяців тому

    It's life experiences why you don't feel happy or excited. How privileged others are for not feeling as you do. It's terrible how, even down to our emotions, we can quilt and shame ourselves for not living up to others expectations. We need to stop creating expectations for others to live by. Expectations based on personal lives and experiences or what someone thinks should be the norm. We need to create and give more compassion and understanding - understanding in how each person's life and emotions are their own. And I don't say allowance because no one needs permission to feel how they feel.

  • @user-db3pv8hv2u
    @user-db3pv8hv2u 8 місяців тому

    Well said girl...

  • @wesley6442
    @wesley6442 8 місяців тому

    MOST people are pretty unhelpful when you are struggling and become vulnerable and emotional. I get that all the time, save for a a good friend of mine but most of the time it's the "you don't know what it's like to suffer, you've got it good, you're priviliged etc mantra" its completely invalidating and it makes you never want to be vulnerable and emotional again around people. It's very cold hearted and uncaring, I don't understand it but when someone else is hurting and I offer an ear and support because I understand pain and suffering they're more than happy to take it. Kind of why I am so harsh on myself when I get emotional or struggle with anything, I say the worst things to myself probably because of the way my pain was handled when I reached out, met with dismisiveness, callousness, invalidation etc.. so I just internally said, "fuck emotions" lol

  • @MsSimpleMovies
    @MsSimpleMovies 8 місяців тому

    Girl, you kidding? I do a deep, meaningful "Goodbye, thank you, I love you. I'll miss you" to my hotel room if we stay somewhere.

  • @EANNE1000
    @EANNE1000 8 місяців тому

    Big hugs ❤

  • @denialdier
    @denialdier 8 місяців тому

    "should be..." According to who/whom? If you're not you're not

  • @shannoncarmody3805
    @shannoncarmody3805 8 місяців тому

    It's okay to feel a Negative. don't Live there.

  • @synettastone505
    @synettastone505 8 місяців тому

    I totally agree ❤

  • @Mefista69
    @Mefista69 8 місяців тому

    All the best to you ❤

  • @idontgotthis7546
    @idontgotthis7546 8 місяців тому

    Sending big hugs

  • @dougshaw765
    @dougshaw765 3 місяці тому

    Be of one accord. Piease dont cry... We all care too much bout what people think... Under neath the game face they struggle tooo...

  • @missbettyboop2509
    @missbettyboop2509 7 місяців тому

    Ooooh....bear hugs Kati...bear hugs..also pls look into magnesium and mood..if you arent aware of the benefit of this supplement already ❤❤❤

  • @mihirmaiden18
    @mihirmaiden18 8 місяців тому

    Hugs to you 🤗

  • @honeyNmickey
    @honeyNmickey 8 місяців тому

    I just feel like hugging you❤

  • @ebicheesex6707
    @ebicheesex6707 8 місяців тому

    Sending hugs

  • @bellacutie25
    @bellacutie25 8 місяців тому

    I'm curious why I feel uncomfortable with crying. I don't want to make anyone feel bad for doing it. Maybe Katie has some insights?