Classics Summarized: The Iliad
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- Опубліковано 22 січ 2015
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PART 2 - THE ODYSSEY: • Classics Summarized: T...
PART 3 - THE AENEID: • Classics Summarized: T...
I'm baaaaaaaack!
This one took me a while. The reason why should be pretty obvious. Enjoy your adorable murderfest.
Troy may be a good movie (though I have my doubts) but it sure as hell isn't the Iliad.
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A PLUG: Giorgio Groom, one of our fans, has written some greek-mythology-inspired books he'd like you to check out! Find "The Soldier Of Ares" and "The Legions Of Athena" here:
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The three types of historians:
"Achilles and Patroclus were just friends."
"They were gay."
"They were GAY."
I was told they were "cousins" or "friendly"
Then told that Greece was a bisexual society and that I could come to my own conclusion lmao
@@nokachi3339 The cousins thing came from the movie Troy, which paints them as relatives so they could avoid all that homoerotic subtext and stuff y'know?
I’m soooooo in the last category
I’d say I’m between the last two
Personally I think Achilles was super gay for Patroclus and Patroclus was simply gay
@@dontrefertomethanks sure, my teacher just always referred to them as "cousins" lol
“Hetero life partner”
is that what the kids are calling it these days?
Yeah -- because the idea of a guy actually loving another guy can only serve as the butt of a joke -- because everyone knows all 'real' men are hetero. (sheesh)
Yes granpapa
I say Hetero Homies
@@anaceautistic9447 heteromies.
@@MR-tf8lh Nice
I love how achilles is wrapped up in a burrito and It's canon because that one vase painting showing off his sulking is achilles rolled up in blankets like a mad burrito
omg do you have a link of the painting?
I need to see that. Ancient blanket burrito!
I had to look up "Achilles blanket vase" and you were not kidding
@@chicken595 just found it. Was not disappointed
The murderiest burrito
Patroclus was a quite skilled fighter. He made the Trojans run back to their gates, killed several of their warriors and he seemed as he would have taken Hector down had Apollo not intervened and clouded his senses. He also had decent medical skills, all his comrades loved him because he was a sweetheart and he was probably the only man who treated Brisyes as a human being and not as a property. Brisyes only talks once in Iliad: when she saw Patroclus' corpse and started mourning him. All in all, Patroclus was more than a plot device and Achilles' boyfriend.
Achilles picked a good one.
Everyone also constantly spoke highly of his ability as counselor throughout the war. Sad all of it was hidden behind the scenes in the Iliad.
My guy even killed a son of Zeus minutes into the battle like IT WAS NOTHING-
You’re right, Patroclus wasn’t his boyfriend at all lol
We don’t know what made petroclus go out and fight in Achilles armor
The whole Greek army shares one brain cell
Odysseus and Diomedes share it for most of the time
No, Odisseus is the one with the last three brain cells and he oftenly shares one of them with Diomenes
*Diomedes
*mom said it’s my turn on the brain cell*
They had two for the whole army, and they named them Odysseus and diomedes
Plus the actual motivation from Menelaus
Aphrodite is basically the Tumblr fan girl who ship characters based on nothing beside being hot.
EDIT: I changed it back, got tired of my joke.
...but with actual power. Scariest thing in the goddamn world.
OOOOOOF
@@HaydenX I dunno. Lives and relationships have been ruined by obsessed fangirls shipping real people and going rabid when they dont cooperate
@@blendingwitch6206 *cough* BTS, RWBY and Jacksepticeye and Markiplier
Actually - as for RWBY Rooster Teeth did give into the fan girls and the show actively got worse for it.
@@wisemankugelmemicus1701 I mean idc about shipping as long as it isn't real people (dead or alive). I was thinking more about youtubers like markiplier/jack, dan and Phil, etc. Oh and boy bands. Just. No those are real people please stoppppp
I can't handle people straight up calling Patroclus and Achilles "Besties", it's just fucking hillarious
Well, it depends on your interpretation. Personally, I like to think them as such.
oh yeah, achilles, the guy who fought a FRICKIN' RIVER because his "bestie", but didn't move when his "girlfriend" was taken away... anyways totaly hetero, straight as a ruller..."
@@esuterunokitsune3556 Well, he was on the verge of fighting Agamemnon and he did abandon the Greeks for a long time because of how the king had treated them.
@@sauron8838 yeah, you're right....
@@esuterunokitsune3556 It's still valid to say that they're gay for one another but I don't think that they are, which is equally valid.
Red: "Zeus likes nothing better than screwing with mortals"
Me: "I don't believe I remember the word 'with' in the original text"
Yeah, that's a typo, Red must have missed it back in the day
Holdup- wait a minute
In more ways than one!! *heh heh*
He likes to multitask.
It's interpretive.
Apollo: "Step off kid some of us gods are sturdier than aphrodite."
Also Apollo: *Gets chased by Achilles because Achilles feels like it.*
@17mohara Hara is this a correction or joke? I want to know before I make assumptions.
@@cgkase6210 no, he means because Achilles is a fucking beast that even the gods couldn't stop. This is probably why apollo guided the arrow into Achilles' weak spot
I think that had more to do with Athena telling Diomedes not to go fight other immortals that day.
@@tatersalad76 No, I was wanting to know if he was trying to correct my spelling of Achilles, not his joke.
So Achilles was once kratos(?)
*Zeus:* I love all my children equally. Athena, Heracles, Perseus... (looking at smudged writing on hand) Arse...
Ares: Fuck you, dad.
Literally everyone hated ares because he was the god of war and he was too extra
@@vickytsak2285 everyone still does lol
@@PixelPower0615 tru
Oh no one of your kids died
Who cares we have more of those at home
Fun Fact:
The ‘Achilles heel trope’ aka Achilles weakness because he was dipped into a river to make him immortal, but his heel wasint was NOT in the original writing and was made up as sort of a fan AU by the other Greeks to explain why Achilles was so strong.
Achilles was just naturally gifted, in the original Greek writing of the Iliad he dies from an arrow in his back by Paris that shot into his heart, not his heel. I was surprised when I read the Greek version of the Iliad because Achilles Heel is such an iconic part of his character in modern days, turns out it’s not true. See? Even the Ancient Greeks had headcanons to their favorite stories.
That makes SO much more sense!
When he was a baby, Achilles was dipped in the river Styx by his mother, basically giving him bulletproof skin. Except for his heel, where his mother held him. That's the version of the story that I know.
@@justafallperson2108 It does answer the question of "so why does Achilles wear armour?"
@@Vecchio_Rhosod85 Yeah and Achilles heel does not come up in the original story. This version was published 500 years after the original.
@@triskel8161I never said my version of the story was the definitive 100% accurate version of the story.
But it's at least an explanation for Achilles' heel, which is better than no explanation.
ok WHO PISSED OFF APOLLO _SO MUCH_ THAT WE GOT _ANOTHER_ PLAGUE-
edit: the replies are priceless-
Don’t worry, his son will take care of it.
Fun fact: the mother of Apollo’s son Asklepios, aka the world’s greatest healer? Her name was _Coronis._
@@CJCroen1393 ah fuck. That explains it
@@CJCroen1393 Guess the Greek jinxed us
Lore Olympus happened
Zeus: hera, can we have kids.
Hera:we have kids at home
Kids at home: ares
Oof TvT Hera: wait who’s nephaestus
@Oof TvT *yeets baby*
Angelos, Hebe, Eileithyia, and Enyo siting in the background be like-
@@yizao9289 god of war
@Renai Circular Motion Hephaestus is awesome, although Hera may disagree.
Achilles: * dragging hectors dead body around Troy *. Everyone else: “weird flex but ok”
Unorthodox display of hubris, but very well.
@@ultradude3447 ACTUALLY, in ancient greece, a man only dies an honorable death if gets buried unharmed; that’s why everyone is so crazily protective of dead guys. therefore, achilles- after killing him- dragging hector’s body across the battlefield strapped to his chariot was meant to paint a permanent stain on his honor, for all of the danaans + the trojans to see.
moral of the story; achilles is one petty bitch. (/hj)
@@doriangrayapologist That's actually really interesting, I wanted to know why it was such a huge affront but never got the motivation to look it up lol. But while that is a fascinating piece of cultural history, I was actually making a reference to another one of Red's videos.
@@ultradude3447 lmao yes yes. now that u point it out, i love it. it totally slipped my mind, ngl!
@@doriangrayapologist No problem my dude
The fact that all the main Greek heroes minus Achilles help protect Partocles body is so wholesome
True. Aparently everybody loved him.
@@wandanemer2630 Back then it was customary to leave a lock of hair on the funeral pyre for someone who died who you greatly loved or respected. I think it showed the link between life and death. Patroclus’s funeral pyre was _covered_ in locks of hair.
To add another thing, Hector had announced that he was going to desecrate Patrolcus’s corpse. Like, parade him around Troy, cut his head off and put it on a spike, and then feed his body to the dogs. The Greeks heard him say this and they absolutely could NOT allow this to happen. Not only because they cared for Patroclus, but because they knew Achilles was already going to react _badly_ to Patroclus’s death, but there was also a real fear that Achilles would murder EVERYONE-both the Trojans _and_ the Greeks-if the Greeks lost Patroclus’s body to the Trojans and Hector followed through with the desecration. So just about _everyone_ fought to get his body back to camp so that an already horrible situation didn’t get worse.
@@Mia-dt3gl So Héctor was planing to destroy Patrocolus body and Achilles decided to do it to him instead
@@angeljafbenitez1843 Pretty much yeah.
Ah yes, the male counterpart to r/SapphoAndHerFriend, Achilles and his Cousin
r/Achillesandhispal
r/AchillesAndHisRoommate
r/AchillesAndHisHeterosexualLifePartner
Oh, god, this is Sailor Moon all over again
r/AchillesandHisCompanion
I love how Odysseus’ headband is always flowing in the wind even when he is in doors
Cause he's such a beast that even nature works for him.
DragonGuy GTO tell that to Poseidon
Where ever he his, the wind follows.......and the wind smells like rain
It's like Judge Doom's cape from Who Framed Roger Rabbit.
His headband does it out of respect,just like nick fury's coat
Something I can see Achilles doing:
Whaddup guys it's Achilles and today we're going to talk about why you shouldn't let your boyfriend wear your clothes!
This deserves way more likes
modern au lmao
True, sadly 🥺😭
Good one!
“i’m a healer, but-“
- patroclus
I believe that once Achilles learns about Patroklos' death, he actually runs towards the Trojans naked, which freaked them out so much they all fled
Hephaestus actually makes him a new suit of armor, but I almost wish he had gone in naked instead 😂
@@octaviovourvoulias3188
*guy shoots an arrow at Achilles's nuts*
*arrow deflects off*
Homer: "And that was how he was the first man with the 'balls of steel'."
What of patroclus was alive to see that
In a variant I´ve heard, Achilles literally roared, together with Athena, so loud that many Trojans ended up dead by their own comrade´s weapons as they fled in panic. *3 times.*
You’ve got me thinking there, would that actually freak ancient the Greeks out. To them doing physical feats naked was the ultimate show of physical prowess. So actually that could have been bloody badass.
Okay okay- but imagine a modern day alternative universe or a reincarnation Au
Patroclus : why don't you let me borrow any of your clothes ?
Achilles : *war flashbacks*
Literal war flashbacks 😭
Someone write this…PLEASE
I love Achilles so much in this book, considering the fact he spends 90% of the story doing actually nothing.
And then at the end he throws a raging hissy fit bc his boyfriend died lmao
@@slimjimjr96 hes mad he doesn't have a CBT partner
And also considering that the Iliad is HIS story. ("Recite to me the rage of Achilles" or something, I didn't read the English version)
@@user-rx5rj6jx1d imagine having the same amount of relevance as a minor character in your own story I'm laughing shsjsklslsp
@@slimjimjr96 r/woooosh
i didn't cry for three hours after reading the song of achilles to be told by historians that achilles and patroclus were straight
They were gay as all fuck
Well they were. The Song of Achilles was written by Plato, who had no input into the original story or its characters. The story is literally no better than fanfiction ripped off of Tumblr or Wattpadbor any other site. If that's your interpretation fine, but I'd say their more father and son or brotherly myself. Also considering how much Achilles womanized it wouldn't be surprising.
Same :')
@KKK Revolution Fair point, they were kinda liberal with sex.
Were they there? NOOOO
Achilles filled a river with so many bodies the River got pissed and attacked him. So Achilles beat it up until it left him alone......just wanna make sure I heard that correctly. 'Cause that's epic.
Meanwhile, Charon: YO DUDE WHAT THE HADES BRO. I HAVE TO CLEAN THIS UP!!
@@Phoebe5448 Hades do you think we can make a chair?
Reminds me of that video where a guy slaps everyone during a barbeque. Achilles just does not give a shit.
He absolutely pissed off the local river god for polluting it with so many corpses, but before the river could rise up and drown him, Hephaistos, due to Hera asking him for help, came in with his forge fires and literally boiled it (aka its local god) into submission.
That´s the variation I know of.
Achilles could not beat the river. Hera asked Hephaestus to use his fire (he is the god of fire after all) to defeat the river and save Achilles. The only guy that defeated a river was Heracles, who defeated Achelous. And Achilles is not as strong as Heracles, and thus could not defeat the river Scamander.
I read this book as a kid, or at least a heavily abbreviated version (I highly doubt I read the whole epic). The bit that stands out for me is Achilles killing so many people the river god gets angry at him. How many people do you have to kill before the *terrain* feels you're being excessive?
A lot, probably
An absolute megaton, since the local river god actually complained to Achilles that his river is struggling to flow due to so many bodies.
@@GoldieMethransbased on that description…and not knowing the size of the river in question…I’d guess the number is somewhere in the thousands to tens of thousands
@@WorldWeave Oh yes!
@@WorldWeavethe river is the Scamander and it exists there in Turkey
Let us all give thanks to _Troy_ for being awful and making Red start hand-drawing animatics for all her videos on this channel.
AGREED!
HUZZAH!
Hurrah
HERE HERE!!! 💜💜💜💜💜
🤣
Huzzah
At least the fight scenes were okay
Red literally anywhere else: "Patroclus + Achilles = True Love"
Red here: "Achilles goes 'My Hetero-life partner, No!!!' "
@Xx_ĐÃÌĹÝ_ÑÌĞHŤ_xX Actually I think she's being sarcastic. I made this joke before I'd really seen enough of OSP to really get their style and having had more time to analyze I kind of realize in retrospect this is just a joke, and a fairly obvious one at that.
Nah, she’s just poking fun at the “they were totally just bros, that’s just how guys talked to each other back then” trope that some historians use.
This channel sells Patrochilles merch for God’s sake. Course we ship it.
the entire Iliad: Achilles and Patroclus were very, every gay.
Historians: two bros, chilling in a hot tub, five feet apart cause they’re not gay
It’s also one of her first videos so... y’know, ya learn.
“Hetero life partner” in this context comes off to me as part of the joke surrounding how the relationship is straight-washed/censored in many modern interpretations- especially considering the romantic music and close-up shots poking extra fun at their “Totally Straight, Yep, NOTHING TO SEE HERE” dynamic.
"I have actual cognitive faculties, quite rare among this army"
- says Odysseus, and Homer's verses in a nutshell.
Normal people: Cry me a river
Achilles: *fill me a river -of dead trojans*
Troy Story
*flashes to Trojan Horse*
You've got some men in me.
.............?,... this physically hurts me
That is mentally painful on multiple levels.
This made me laugh way too hard xD
Wheeezeeeeee- XD
Why doesn't this comment have more upvotes?!
"Then Achillies gets sidetracked chasing apollo because all the best hero's have ADD"
*looks at Percy*
LOL, I thought about Percy Jackson too 😆
Yeah, pretty much.
I think that Leo is worse than Percy in the “I have ADHD and I’m so distracted” category
exactly
That’s exactly what I was thinking 😂
The sheer power of the rainbow quotations around Patroclus and Achilles is both incredible and mind boggling how people still think these to were ‘just really good friends’.
They were tent mates! *Oh my Zeus they were tent mates*
In the Iliad Achilles's grief following Patroclus' death is described as similar to the one of a great lion that lost it's cub. And it is also shown were living together since they were children and that Achilles and his father got Patroclus out of a mess once. And as nothing sexual between them is described in the Iliad, I'd see it more reasonable to conclude that Patroclus was more of a little brother, or an adopted son to Achilles then, you know, a boyfriend. Not to mention that Achilles was already in love with Briseis and called her "wife".
"Those who cannot conceive of Friendship as a substantive love but only as a disguise or elaboration of Eros betray the fact that they have never had a Friend." -CS Lewis
. Too many quotes, too many interpretations. So I simply stuck with The song of Achillies take on the story. While not necessary a romantic or sexual relation, to me they are nothing less than soulmates.
About the Lion cub comparison I just took it that Achillies feels very protective of Patrocolus. That's it. Usually greek symbolism seems very surface level (Atleast how I felt when reading Saphos poems which is the only Greek text I've properly read).
1:48 Achilles is upset about lossing his lover...a woman..at the start of this story
No sure you know what "gay" is..
You missed the most important part where Priam goes to Achilles to beg for his son Hector’s body so he can bury him properly and say goodbye. Achilles is so moved by this that his anger subsides and he agrees. The epic essentially begins with the line, “ let us speak of the rage of Achilles”. More or less. Achilles spends nearly all of the story mad at Agammenon, pouting in his tent, ticked off about his girlfriend being held hostage, letting his boyfriend die and killing as many Trojans as possible before finally killing Hector, desecrating his body. Even after this he is still angry til Priam comes to beg his favour. Achilles rage dissolves. In a sense the Iliad is about the destructiveness of senseless anger that can only be defeated by love. If this was not the theme then I doubt the Iliad would be so revered.
Someone: Gen Z is the gayest generation
Me, equipped with the knowledge this video provided: *You fool*
''Oh! You fools have seen nothing Greek yet!''
To be fair even with the greeks i think even they will still call modern people insufferably gay while they go back to fucking the serving boys
@@ZeroOmega-vg8nq calm down there, my guy
@@CoRLex-jh5vx don't be so offended you sensitive b word.
@@wenbluepirate3954 was I ever offended? Nope. Are you offended by my imaginary offended-ness? Seemingly so, B-word
so now Ares hurts on the outside ANd the inside
Same
mood
I can't stop laughing at that part
he was hurt in the inside before being told he's a wimp (as there was a weapon inside him)
Ares is the most relatable Greek god.
Why? Well that’s because he’s constantly being told he’s a failure!
Lol.
Ah yes, Achilles and Patroclus were truly best bros. Everyone has gone on a *rampage tearing through an entire army, almost singlehandedly ending a war, dragging the man who killed then around a city 3 times to assert dominance*
Everyone has done that for their best buddy o chum
i believe they were lovers but we dont know whether they had sexual intimacy or not, but definitely lovers
Nice
In the Iliad Achilles's grief following Patroclus' death is described as similar to the one of a great lion that lost it's cub. And it is also shown that were living together since they were children and that Achilles and his father got Patroclus out of a mess once. And as nothing sexual between them is described in the Iliad, I'd see it more reasonable to conclude that Patroclus was more of a little brother, or an adopted son to Achilles then, you know, a boyfriend. Not to mention that Achilles was already in love with Briseis and called her "wife".
@@tepesobrejac4360 …except for the fact Patroclus was supposedly older. He was depicted with a beard in pottery and such, while Achilles was clean shaven, suggesting youth
@@Kerosiin
In the Iliad itself it is said only once that Patroclus was older than Achilles, but as it is also said that they were childhood friends the age gap couldn't have been significant. Moreover, Patroclus lived at Achilles' home, where Peleus made him subordinate to Achilles and Achilles was a king, while Patroclus was not. These three factors alone easily make the age-gap close to irrelevant. And as it is clear in the Iliad that Achilles was the leader in their relationship and not Patroclus, if there was ever to be anyone that would have grieved for Patroclus like a lion that lost it's cub (and not as man who lost his boyfriend), that would have been Achilles, as told by Homer in Book XVIII.318-323
And finally, just as a side-note, read the Iliad, Book IX. 663-669
"MY HETERO LIFE PARTNER"
Uh, sorry Achilles, I couldn't hear you from so far back in the closet.
(That is the single best phrase I've ever heard someone describe Patroclus as. My Hetero life partner is pure gold.)
In the Iliad Achilles's grief following Patroclus' death is described as similar to the one of a great lion that lost it's cub. And it is also shown that they were living together since they were children and that Achilles and his father got Patroclus out of a mess once. And as nothing sexual between them is described in the Iliad, I'd see it more reasonable to conclude that Patroclus was more of a little brother to Achilles, or an adopted son then, you know, a boyfriend. Not to mention that Achilles was already in love with Briseis and called her "wife".
@@tepesobrejac4360 you know patroclus was older than him by like three or four years right
@@crofiishy
1. In the Iliad it is mentioned that Patroclus was older, but no exact age difference is mentioned.
2. Despite the age difference, Achilles was the one protecting Patroclus, and not the other way around. Patroclus was Achilles' squire and Achilles was the decision maker. As such, the fact that Patroclus was the older one just simply didn't seem to matter to either of them. Throughout the entire time they're together Achilles takes the senior role. I can recall only one instance when the fact that Patroclus was older than Achilles seemed to matter, and that was when NESTOR asked Patroclus to advise Achilles to save the Greeks from the Trojans, hoping that, as Patroclus was older, Achilles would listen to his advice, and truth be told, Achilles accepted to let Patroclus help the Greeks, but even then he ordered Patroclus not to leave the Greek camp, for his own safety, just like an older brother would. All of this shows that Achilles was for Patroclus an older brother in all but name.
The mere concept of brotherly love: "What am I, chopped liver?"
Diomedes: Fights the literal god of fighting and wins.
And he DOESN'T get to be the new God of War?
At this point, you'd think the Olympians would be like "you know what, Ares is clearly unqualified for his job, let's find someone else".
He attacked Aphrodite’s hand. *HE IS NOW THE GODDESS OF LOVE*
Diomedes is the original Kratos if you think about it.
Ares too used to not ever being hit XD. He could smite a mortal with his thoughts if he wanted, being a god and all.
@Sadrien I’m not disagreeing with you, but if he could indeed do that why couldn't he defend himself against Diomedes?
Fun fact: Golden Apple translates in Hebrew to “Orange”.
This whole war started because of an orange.
Think about that
Wha... No nonononononononono, you're bullshitting. What??? XD HOW THE FUK???
The word Orange in Hebrew is Tapuz
תפוז
which is a shorthand to Tapach Zahav. תפוח זהב.
Put those two through a translator. You’ll see it for yourself.
So it needs to be specified in Hebrew translations that it was a literal apple made of gold, not a flowery term for an orange.
Yeah but, a delicious orange/golden apple!
But its a greek story, not isreali
That's a cool theory, but I don't think the Hebrews had any involvement with the Iliad at all, and the Ancient Greek language is entirely separate from Hebrew, quite literally apples and oranges
5:26
Fun fact: Zeus actually tells Ares straight to his face that he hates him the most and that if he weren't his son, he'd be in a position worse than the Titans by now
OUCH! I mean, I know it’s Ares but STILL
Achilles- Spends 99% of the book sulking in a blanket burrito until he FINALLY gets up and fights. Famous for having invincibility with a strange weakness that was actually added into the story much later. Actions inconvenience all his friends and even prays that the gods will make his friends lives worse out of spite for one guy.
Diomedes- Takes up the slack when Achilles is playing hooky. Canonically blessed by Athena with magic eyesight. Had Athena act as his chariot driver at one point. Wounded Two Olympian gods but was smart enough to not push his luck. Goes on a stealth mission with Odysseus to steal a magic statue so powerful that Tony Stark named the stuff that powered his tech after it!
Everyone- Wow Achilles is such an awesome hero! Let's name a tendon after his infamous totally cannon weakness!
Diomedes needs more appreciation!
> Odysseus to steal a magic statue so powerful that Tony Stark named the stuff that powered his tech after it!
Wait, what? What was the statue, and what did Tony name after it?
@@magiccarpetmadeofsteel4564
The Palladium. A statue of Athena that blessed the city with devine protection as long as it was inside the Trojan camp. (Admittedly, I don't know all the exact details about this part of the story).
In Iron Man one and two, Palladium was what Tony called the substance that powered his tech before he invented a new element to replace it with.
@@EliteWarrior1026 Palladium is an actual metal, discovered in 1803. Though you _ARE_ correct that it shares its etymological root with the Trojan Palladium, deriving from Athena's epithet of "Pallas".
I don’t think Palladium powers the arc reactor, it’s just one of the components.
The Trojan War: A literal ship war.
Grey Avery the best kind of war is war were Aphrodite is involved X3
Well we can all savely say that this is canon.
You have NO IDEA how true that is!!!
Yesssssss
You are right
"Troy Story"
You've got a friend in horse
YOU DO *N O T* HAVE A FRIEND IN HORSE
@@thespacedoutace I was literally just about to say that. 😆
NO YOU DO NOT
how does it feel to be the funniest person in this comment section
You've got a horse in me
I love how in Percy Jackson they say that the gods can't directly interfere with their kid's lives but Achilles prays to his mom (who isn't even a major god) to convince Zeus to mess the whole war up.
I mean, technically she isn't interfering with her sons' life- she's just asking zeus to fucking kill all the greeks
That's because Percy Jackson is an adaptation of mythology lol. It takes heavy liberties with mythology (not that's bad) and different myths can differ in rules like that.
The gods are constant interfiring with their sons lives. Aphrodite literaly goes to battle to carrier her son Aeneas of the battlefield.
In percy jackson however is not that the gods do not interfere in their sons lives, but they just have to many sons. Poseidon and Zeus in mythology did not care about all of their sons, but only the ones that they liked the most. Thetis cared about Achilles because he was her only son. The same applies to Percy Jackson, the gods can intervene if they want, they just dont care enough because they have many sons.
My Latin II teacher exclusively calls this book the “hissy fit of Achilles”
They're not wrong
That's amazing! I might start calling The Iliad that now.
Chibi Athena with the "Your the Best, Around" line was the cutest thing imaginable.
ya :)
Personally I think it goes to Lesser Ajax telling Full-Size Ajax to kick Hector's ass.
no
Yeeessss!!😄😄😄😄
yeah it pretty much sums up her feeling towards aris
"Now Ares hurts on the inside, and the outside!"
I relate,,
Sxlty Aye Kratos in the Background: Serves him right!!!!! HAHA
Kratos be like: "FINISH HIM, BOI!"
Sxlty Aye
Hah hah
Marching band
Sxlty Aye at that time, Ares was my spirt animal
Every. single. day.
6:36 *poeple who read The Song of Achilles* SOBS UNCONTROLLABLY
I just read the part where Achilles died 😢
I just want to thank Red for making this video. Because of her, "I only promise to try" has become an official part of my lexicon.
“Patroclus and Achilles are gay,” I say into the mic.
The crowd boos. I begin to walk off in shame, when a voice speaks and commands silence in the room.
“They’re right,” they say. I look for the owner of the voice. There in the third row stands: Hector himself
*GAAAAAAAAAAAAASP*
-the crowd
anyone who doesn't think the greeks spent a majority of their time fucking men and women alike are brain dead
Patroclus and Achilles do not comment.
Mostly because they are too busy staring into each other's eyes.
P: Bro, I'm sorry I got myself killed bro.
A: Bro, it's not your fault.
P: Bro...
A: Bro...
P: I love you bro...
A: Bro, I love you too...
P: BROOOO...
@@Ray-hk1zm They are cousins!!
Instead of "Zeus screwing with mortals"
It's really "Zeus screwing mortals"
tesshas4cats
Yes, but the first is true as well.
It’s both
tesshas4cats nice pfp my dude
*ba-dum tssh"
(Angery Hera Noises)
I love how Ares no matter what in any story he’s just bullied by both mortals and gods no matter what
Ares never has a break lol
Plot twist:
Aphrodite didn't kidnap Helen because she shipped her and Paris, she did it all because she wanted a tragic love story between Achilles and patroclus.
Ps it was confirmed that they were indeed lovers not just best friends
💗
It was confirmed? You spoke with Homer about this?
@@raxit1337What if I did?
Dr. who is that you?
I am here after reading “The Song Of Achilles” such a good book. So emotional, intense, and gay. 😭
I just read that as "such a gay book." And didnt noticed a mistake :>
@@lyanecalico676 it's not wrong.
I am reading it at the mo, can confirm.
Edit - I just finished it and I feel empty.i need more gay content.😭
@@yuki_eerhs4591 I finished it this morning, and since then I've just been moping around, likewise feeling empty and sad 😢
@@daneroberts1996 i finished it like two weeks ago and im still having an existential crisis so i decided may as well read circe 🙌🏼
I love how Ajax The Lesser is just a tiny chibi clinging to The Greater's helmet XD
That's because he's a lesser being in every single way. I'm not joking. He's just as much of an arsehole as Agamemnon. Let me explain: When they take over Troy, Ajax the Lesser r*pes princess Cassandra, who is clinging to a statue of Athena (yep, he violates her inside Athena's temple), which makes the goddess so furious, that she later drowns him on his way home him in retribution.
Anselma Reich I LOVE IT WHEN PEOPLE EXPLAIN AND PUT CONTEXT FOR THINGS!!!! I LOVE THESE MINI HISTORY LESSONS AND WHEN THE COMMENTS GO INTO FURTHER DETAIL BUT ITS *STILL* SIMPLIFIED??!??!??! IT MAKES ME WANNA PTERODACTYL SCREAM IN HAPPINESS!!!!!!!! BRUH YOU ARE MY FAVORITE PERSON RN!!!!!!!!! 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜
@@anselmareich3549
Whoa-
Ffs he should have had a worse death, the jerk-
@@madisonmorris7394
NCKKFKDKF IKR
I love it too aaaaaaaa
@@anselmareich3549 You'd think that just trying would get Athena to smite him before he can go further, but welp...
"Because all the best heroes have ADD, just ask any sidequesting Skyrim character."
I laughed too hard at this call out
I’m sure I’ll find my way to Whiterun, eventually. Just need to take a few classes in Winterhold, become leader of the thieves guild, and become a master assassin first.
I love that the statement “Zeus loves screwing with mortals” is a double entendre.
Just saying that Achilles "burritoed himself in a blanket" sulking somehow makes Achilles insanely cute. lolz.
Irisviel best girl! :)
IKR!!
I love your profile picture 😊👍
Yeah, it makes a grim war cozy.
I mean... she’s not wrong
Book 19 is more like
Achilles: I will go fight to avenge my dear friend now
Odysseus: But you haven't eat breakfast yet
Achilles: And?
Odysseus: ... please eat
Achilles: *nO*
Zeus; This is so saD, Athenna, go feed them
“Friend”
Feed them to who
Zues: Dionysus, play despacito!
Cortegard0 3 Zeus*
@@nicholasloremann4741 apologies and appreciations
I really feel sorry for Patroclus. He seemed like such a nice guy. What did he see in Achilles?
idk, wars can change people a lot so maybe he stayed with him hoping that a spark of the old Achilles was still there
Well they were life long partners since childhood so Patroclus probably wouldnt leave him over a war.
9:36 Wow. These two are such good friends. :)
- The White Historian
1:56 “And refuses to come out for anything”
Years later: We’ll I’m a big gay and I’m coming out as the biggest gay in the world.
Oh god, why haven't I commented this sooner?
Why has no one said this before
When did that happen?
batshineman , á vine compilation made by Red
LOL Mood >D
"all the best heroes have ADD"
see also: Percy Jackson
Not that shit again
He's not a hero
You’ve read it I hope
The books right??? Cause the movies are awful
The Nerd
Does that mean I’m a hero🐒
Historians: Patroclus and Achilles were straight.
Everyone else: hold my beer
My school literally never mentioned Patroclus in an effort to straight wash the Iliad. I only learned he existed when I stumbled upon him while playing Hades.
Straight washing? Couldn't they just have said they were cousins to prevent further questions, like so many other schools?
wait, then how does he change his mind and goes into complete rage to defeat the Trojans? And why does he kill Hector?
@@sweetdaydreamer8868 idk they kinda just combined it with the guy he was friends with getting injured
@@theiaoftruth5728 doesn't that ruin like the whole point of the book?
@@sweetdaydreamer8868 yes. It was a Catholic school.
The Illiad was a DnD session with Homer the DM having to use divine intervention over and over again to bail out his dumbass players. Poor Achilles rolled a nat 1.
Odyesseus being the greatest Fighter-Rogue Multiclass build ever.
@@alnu8355 Until he had bad rolls for 10 years.
@@Silverwind87 Even great builds are powerless to the almighty Nat One.
You guys are legends.
I assumed Achilles' player was absent for most of the game, and when he finally did come back, he was critted
3:56 I love that Dionysus is just passed out drunk on the floor. Also you should make chibi Olympian plushies. I'd buy one.
Please. I need this
I would so buy one too!
I would get the full set.
Yeah same
YES. I WOULD BUY ALL 12
I just finished watching "The Song of Achilles" the audiobook. And this video was directly underneath in the recommended.😅
Of course I've watched this video already years ago. I'm just watching it again because I love Red's voice and how she tells her condensed version of the story.😌🥰👍
You know just thinking about this now, the relationship between Patroclus and Achilles was probably why we read the Odyssey instead of the Iliad for my 9th grade English lit class. The Odyssey was still kind of out there, but it was pretty condensed and tame enough for an English lit class of 9th graders and the teachers wouldn't have to go into the explanation of their relationship. They would rather explain why a guy was sleeping with a bunch of women and bedding goddesses and that being okay than the mutual feelings between two guys who loved each other very much.
I could also be very wrong too. 🤷♀️
Nah, it was probably just a part of their curriculum. Achilles and Patroclus' relationship is that of brothers, but modern 'historians' desperately have tried to perverse that concept to push an agenda. You can love someone closely as a brother, it doesn't have to always be sexual
@@gavinmoore2954lmao Plato himself says their relationship is the purest kind of love or smth idk
Athena: You know, we could probably solve this in 5 minutes by telling them this was Aphrodite doing her ships again.
Ares: Where's the fun in that?!!
Yeah, what about BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD
@@mr.potato2223 I SWEAR TO GOD IF THAT WAS TECHNOBLADE REFERENCE-
@@Fisinocean it was a warhammer reference
@@mr.potato2223 THANKS GOD
@@Fisinocean *thank Khorne
"What information, you just cut off his bloody head!"
"War has changed."
This part made me choke a little.
Starring: Punished Venom Odesseus
B A L L I N
It feels like Diomedes is a severely underrated hero, I started reading thinking about how badass Achilles was going to be but got disappointed, but then pleasantly surprised with who is now my favorite hero out of any mythology
Anyone here after Red made the 2022 Trojan War video?
Am i the only one that chibi athena is adorable.
chibi everyone is adorable
Even Achilles being a Necrophile
Athena: One Troll to Rule Them All
Da Dom WE MUST HAVE CHIBI CHARACTERS OF EVERY GREEK PERSONS!!!
Da Dom I
I love the way Red portrays the gods here. Aphrodite the shipper, Athena the hypeman, and Ares the disappointment to his father are all hilarious.
I like the ajaxes tbh
Fun fact: The plural of 'Ajax' is 'Aeantes'.
6:43
What a classic, "And they were roommates" situation!
@6:56
She's right. It's literally called; Diomedes and Odysseus: the Night Attack...
Someone call hollywood
"The other two contenders for the golden apple were Athena and Hera, who you'd think would have better things to do."
LMAO 😂😂🤣🤣
Well they are immortal, it's not often they get challenged like this
Hera was probably pissed (as in angry and jealous) while Athena probably just wanted to join in for giggles.
I want my own Mini Shoulder Athena plushie.
Aberrant17 OH MY GOD YES I WANT ONE
I want a lesser Ajax
Who doesn't??
I wantboth mini athena and lesser ajax
I think WE ALL NEED A MINI SHOULDER ATHENA PLUSHIE
My history teacher covered this at one point. It was great as he was told by the school that he had to teach Achilles and patrocals (I can’t spell) we’re straight. He a gay teacher had to do that. And the sarcasm he gave was on par with this vid, like “and the were only friends, that’s it, not dating or in love at all ignoring the fact that they clearly do but oh well” sort of things
9:40 "of course I will bro" *intense gaze* *careless whisper playing* *rose petals falling* yes thank u, u understand
Historians when having to explain Patrochilles' actions as Totally Heterosexual: I couldn't save my hetero lifepartner so imma let myself get killed
@Pony Boy No but literary no one said that. It's a joke based on the fact that Achilles and Patroclus were obviously lovers, everything points to it in the text, including them having their ashes mixed together after death so they could be together for all eternity and despite all this, historians up to this day will call them "best friends".
@Pony Boy of course! You also kill the person who mudered your friend, drag their body through the city for days, literally do not care if you're killed now that your FRIEND is dead, ask people to mix your ashes with your FRIEND'S so that you may be united forever in afterlife, your rage is so dangerous that gods have to step in to pacify you! Yes you will do that for your FRIEND!
@@reynaavilaramirezarellano1040 well, in agreement with him, the Illiad is full of explicit sex, but none between Patroculus and Achilles. If they were meant to be lovers, that would've been written explicitly. People can platonically love each other that much, and other people should really understand that, for goodness' sake. I'm not just talking about people of the same gender loving each other platonically, but of the opposite gender as well. Achilles was actually in love with Briseis, not in a platonic way.
@@V-q8is i don't know, he didn't accept the offer from Agamemnon to get back Briseis even though Agamemnon told him he didn't even touch her, he still refused to fight, i think he was madder from the fact that Agamemnon could easily take away his "prize", and at some point after Patroclus dies he even says that it would have been better if Briseis was dead from the beginning
@@jinstan9855 I think he was more pissed at Agamemnon than Briseis there, but okay. Anyway, my point is that when nothing is explicitly written, I choose to believe there's nothing. People of the same or opposite gender CAN love each other that much platonically and it weirds me out when people sexualise it.
"Hetero life partners"
Didn't Patroclus give Achilles a handy on at least 2 seperate occasions?
Well historians must have thought Achilles was just really desperate
Daphne Lexine Rosenfeld Realica never trust historians…
@@breadslice9779 Historians could literally assume that a man and a woman were married because they were sat beside each other in a mural but two men being really close and literally wanting their ashes to be mixed to be together forever even after death means they were just really close friends to them.
@@fictionlover2064 I mean, you gotta be very close to want to do that, like close enough to sort of merge together
@@fictionlover2064 TBF, considering how Aristotle viewed friendship, it won't surprise me if some greek dudes actually wanted to do that.
0:44 and that’s where it began
I love the chibis.
I love how it went all anime with: And Achilles decides to beat up a river and Apollo
You got it wrong . It's the other way around . Achilles was killed by Hector FEAT (Apollo) . A mortal cant kill god 🙄
Aphrodite = every shipper ever
drageben So nobody likes her?
drageben I'm Aphrodite???
drageben so Aphrodite is basically a shipping god instead of the goddess of beauty and whatever type of love she is? Seems legit
Nah she’s be shipping Achilles and patrolocus together to
Given she's partially responsible for this whole fucking thing? Damm straight no one especially likes her right now.
Not sure if people pointed it out but the main theme of the Iliad was essentially about Achilles coping with the death of his best friend. He does many things e.g. killing more Trojans, dragging Hector's corpse around, even burying his best friend, but it never found him peace. What gave him peace was when Hector's father snuck in to Achilles' camp and begged him to let him bury Hector. That moment when he begged, kissing Achilles' feet and weeping in tears was the most important scene in the story. the Iliad ends before Achilles was killed.
Wrote a whole paper on this. Definitely agree.
Kushikimi Minamotto No, actually the theme is futile anger. "Anger be now thy song, immortal one, Achilles' anger:doomed and ruinous". The theme is how holding on to grudges never achieves anything and that resentment will hurt yourself more then the person you resent.
Kushikimi Minamotto 'best friend'
No, actually the theme is futile anger. That is proven with the opening line: "Anger be now thy song, Achilles anger: doomed and ruinous". It is not just Patroclis. He finds every opportunity to target his futile rage on several different characters, some briefly, throughout the poem. He even flashes anger at the God Apollo, for example.
Okay I know none of y'all are discussing this but rewatch 11:06 bc he dies after the Iliad cuts off
4:00 I love how Dionysus is just drunk while the other gods are like doing a battle strategy
Interestingly, this is kinda accurate, as he, Hestia and Demeter were the only Olympians to not take part in the war nor take sides.
Lol I didn't even notice that
@@CJCroen1393 didn't red mention in her Dionysus video that he wasn't fully adapted until after the illiad was fully written down
3:26 the wedding Eris wasn't invited to was the wedding of Peleus and Thetis, who are the parents of Achilles. So, is Paris much older than Achilles? How much time has passed between the wedding and the judgement of Paris? For how long did Paris wait afterwards before going to Sparta and meeting Helen? Was Achilles a miracle-baby, who just grew up really fast because he was a demigod? I am so confused by the timeline!!!
Also, how are immortality genes passed down? Achilles, Heracles, Theseus, etc. were demigods, but were not immortal. Dionysos was the son of Zeus and Semele, who was a mortal princess, but her son is a god. Immortality genes are passed down only if there's the need for a new god?
Dionysus was going to be a demigod but he died when Zeus incinerated his pregnant mother- However, Zeus sewed fetus Dionysus into his leg and after some time Dionysus was reborn a full god
The judgment of Paris was not the same day as the wedding, those three were bickering over the apple for a LOOOOOOOONG time.
Everyone is talking about my boy Plato shipping Patroclus and Achilles but we also have to remember his rival: Aeschylus, who thinks that Achilles is the top and says so in his play "Myrmidons" which is now, unfortunately, a lost text, although we still have fragments of it (so I recommend you still read it, just for curiosity's sake)! Plato says in his Symposium that Aeschylus was wrong in assigning the protector role to Achilles and that Achilles is a definite bottom. Basically, this is the equivalent of modern-day fans fistfighting it over in the parking lot about who tops and who bottoms (which is both hilarious and great).
I love that it a modern view that somehow has difficulty seeing the romantic relationship between Achilles and Patroclus, but for the classical Greeks the discussion was who was top or botton, much like the seme/uke in Yaoi manga.
"Man up you Gigantic Disappointment!"
I could not have summed up the relationship of Zeus and Ares better myself
What makes it even funnier is that while Ares got his ass handed to him by a human, his cripple brother Hephaestus beat a river God into submission.
Levon Gevorgyan
If you are talking about in the video, that was Achilles wearing armor that was made by Hephaestus. And that was a river spirit not a god. A river with feelings is not a god.
But still,Hephaestus has a deformed leg,bad back AND a couch potato.I think you see what I mean.
Mr. Ghostly while we're at it Hephaestus even beat ares in a one on one fight one time. He had trapped Hera in a floating throne for throwing him off Olympus and ares volunteered to make Hephaestus let her down. Hephaestus threw some molten metal in ares face and he ran home crying to Zeus.
The actual rant of Zeus is even worse though, wouldn't like it to be Ares, he's really the pissing pole of Olympus
Diomedes was actually seen as Achilles equal in battle, he's also the only hero who returns home easily and totally unscathed
7:49 “excellent snake” this joke will never be unfunny 😂
Oh god, the Illiad. How many chapters of that story are devoted simple to introducing things?
Ch. 1: Here's all the peoples!
Ch. 2: Here's all da boats!
Ch 3: Here's some more peoples!
'cause I ttotally lied before, those weren't all the peoples!
Leo Ryff well, your not wrong
You reminded me of that dreadful chapter that make Game of Thrones books look pale in comparison. That was awful.
Here’s a shield
That part was cool actually
And this, my friends, is how *NOT* to do exposition.
I love how Odysseus is basically Solid Snake in Greek armor!
Love the little Athena telling Diomedes not to fight the gods… except for Aphrodite, of course.
I just love little Menelaus. He is drawn so cute. Like a little angry, fuzzy red panda.
I don't know why I love this comment so much, but I guess I just simply do.
“my hetero life partner” is the new no homo
lol.... "new" ?
100% Heterosexual
Achilles: I don't want to go out there and fight for Agamemnon!
Patroclus: *that meme of one of the Kardashians saying 'Kim, there's people that are dying'*
OMG YOUR COMMENT MADE MY DAY
Peak gay culture.
“Hey, so I’ve given you magic eyeballs” is the plot of Kekkai Sensen
I'm shocked that Red missed out the part where all the gods stop fighting with each other to laugh at Hephaestus for being ugly and disabled