*Think you may have had a relationship with a narcissist?* Download the FREE checklist to see how your experience stacks up to the phases of narcissistic abuse: www.commonego.com/checklist
Oh hell no!!! It's permanent and I ain't ever turning back again. I don't need any more relationships that are going to "teach me a lesson". I'm quite a scholar!
In my experience, calling them out just makes them come at you with defensive mechanisms. It is NEVER about them. It’s very frustrating because you get nowhere. In the past I used to have conversations and once I continued seeing the same behavior I slowly worked to get them out of my life entirely. It hasn’t been easy, but it has been essential.
@@manfredmann2766 completely understand. The only toxic person that remains in my life is my mother. She’s in a long term care facility and if it weren’t for me, she’d never receive visitors. Every time I go it’s a stupid argument that I don’t even know how it starts. And here I sit with contemplation on not visiting for a while. My mental health is at risk, we must preserve it, so I get you and I hope for you peace with whatever you decide.
@@elizabethdelavega8304 You too, it has taken me years to see it from the outside, kind of like a Stockholm Syndrome. My mom, who is healthy and mobile, is in his shadow, and is narcissist lite. I visit and text them for similar reasons, but the rest of my family no longer wants to have contact with them (i.e. my child and wife). No longer do I exhort my child to FaceTime them and anytime I call my father out for his crap, it falls on deaf ears, but I will not his emotional abuse interfere with my child, which was omnipresent in my youth. The best to you and thanks for your response. I wish you well and God Bless.
In reality you CAN walk away from literally anyone that is toxic to you. This include toxic, controlling, and manipulative parents/family members, a toxic boss, or whatever the case maybe. You don't have to put up with anyone's foolishness. You don't have to put up with someone that is trying to steal your joy or peace whatsoever. Calling them out is not beneficial more often then not, because they will not own up to their mess more often then not anyway.
I’ve cut my mother off over and over throughout my life but she has always manipulated me to be back. I’m now forty and recently just cut her off for good. And the tactics she is using is beyond words. I live 8 hours away and blocked her number and she is still trying to get to me through others and now I’m really aware of it I’ve now had to cut others off too so they now think all the things she says about me because they don’t have any clue how manipulative she is. It’s not as easy as just cutting someone off….at least to the point of a black and white thing like ‘just walk away’
You can put up with it in a work situation and while you seek another job, and no matter what you do, your work (possibly also personal) reputation can suffer. Narcs can destroy careers so you must always plan ahead when trying to extricate yourself from a toxic workplace. Grey rock is not always an option while you are planning your escape.
If anybody is trying to take away from you your right to make your own adult decisions it is a huge sign of evil control tactic. Ignoring is the best way out. Thank you Christina❤
I've known quite a few narcissists and calling out their behaviour to them was never beneficial 😶 they always responded with more theatrical manipulation attempts or straight up violence 😬 I learnt the easiest and safest way for me is to beat them at their own game, since they assume they are superior to everyone and everyone thinks they are fantastic,they don't notice that i manipulated them into leaving me/another person alone after they refused when asked nicely
Gray rock or yellow rock method, depending if he's violent or of you live with him. Keep as busy as you can working on your goals and self-care. Find yourself and pray sincerely. 🙏
You can't change the past. Apply what you know now, and move forward, and make better decisions for yourself based off of the information that you have learned. The most important thing is to learn from a situation, and allow it to make you stronger and better. Not to become a victim or bitter. You will be alright in Jesus name. Amen and Amen and Amen and Amen.
@@ladennayoung2939 I lost my child, due to the gaslighting done by a senior social worker, This man lost his next job, in fact as as his new co-workers caught him doing the same thing and he was sacked very publicly... I am finding it hard to move forward with my life, I worry about what effect it will have had on the most innocent, & most important person in this situation... But I am grateful that he can't do this harm to anymore people or families... I'm lost.
I dated as man who was caring for his elderly mother. He lied to her all of the time to manipulate her. She was often confused because he would change the story, change the plan for a doctor's appt, spa day, food coming. It eventually drove her into a confused depression. It made me lose interest in him and come to really think less of him.
You explained the different ways really well, thanks. My sister is a master manipulator and I have now had limited contact for two years and I see all of those tactics that she has used on me and others all my life. I am 47 and only just figured it all out, they make you feel naive and stupid when you finally work them out. I know I am not either of those things , it was the anxiety induced by her that made me not see clearly.
I met one 3 days ago with the exact same birthday as me . He is using it as leverage and to make it seem like “fate” but for me it feels like the universe is reminding me to keep going until you stop allowing these types to enter your life . He has already said so many things such as I love you and mentioning childhood abandonment smh.
A friend (who prides herself in being manipulative lol) broke down how one of our other friends has been manipulating me for months which was shocking because I pride myself in seeing through people. She’s basically been “I’m mentally ill and you’re the only person I have” and she had me wrapped up babying her to the max. I only realized this when I watched her attempt to do it to someone else and realized and how she didn’t mean anything she was saying.
I learnt this the hard way why a man I've known did this to me gaslighting manipulation trying to make me believe him not trusting my own judgement, for some reason I had faith in myself going with my own decision because that's who I am believing in myself
Tactic 3 Isolation opened my eyes! I was told to not tell others about the narcissist's "apology" & abruptly coming over to cry then play the blame game for hurting my feelings. The narcissist's motivation being they didn't want me to get validation of their crappy behavior from others that have been wronged so they can manipulate me back into a relationship with them. I still have an incentive for them to not discard me like other family members, so that's why she's acting as if nothing happened. Wow!
they NEVER want you talking to your friends/family or share the crap you are witnessing in your relationship with them, because they KNOW others (less empathetic, more neutral) will SEE THROUGH their BS and be on your side. my ex-covert narc wouldn't meet any of my friends- pretend it was because "i just don't feel 100% yet" and made all sorts of phony stories why he couldn't, when in reality, he knew he'd look stupid or like a loser. he got SUPER angry when i shared a few things with my son, and boy, do they HOLD A GRUDGE and bring up whatever "wrong" you have done to them FOREVER to dodge out of responsibility of whatever wrong-doing they are doing to you that moment! RUN RUN RUN. trust your instincts. they will never change. they are grooming their next SUPPLY as we work hard to heal from their BS.
Perfect “simple” scenario which shows the difference between someone who cares about you and will respectfully allow you to make decisions for your own emotional and mental health! Love it!
Upon realization of being manipulated followed by anger, prayer and self growth, I realized that the only person that I should control is myself. Manipulating someone else takes away a fundamental God given right to free will, which is now a foundation that I will always try to stand upon. So as a result I seek never to interfere with another persons free will choices in any way. To ensure the same is not done to me, I ask lots of questions before giving an answer to any request of my time and energy, then I let my yes mean yes and my no mean no.
Withholding information (omission ) is actually lying 🤥 too just like deception - gaslighting is the worse lying tactic Truth /transparency means letting the other person know (the keyword is know /knowledge) what’s truly going on
I agree!! This reminds me of emotional cheating (connecting) vs physical cheating. Emotional cheating hurts so much worse and almost always leads to physical.
@@kimberlykay1495 I always said the same found out during there rebounds they wud tell them they love them and I'm like wtfffff that hurt more mean while thenarc tells me " I didnt mean it I just said it to them "I love u is just a word" It matters what and how u feel" I was 😵after learning this
Narc kept asking about if I was a jealous person. I just gave him a super vague answer every time. I should have known from then, but it didn't take much longer anyway for me to determine that he was mentally unstable. I told him this directly. Not that it mattered. Narcs don't respond to words. They respond to consequences for their actions and no contact. 🙃
So good to hear this in a healthy way. Some speakers on this topic advise “run away- get them out of your life” but that’s not saying “take care of yourself and your boundary in the moment which is the message here. Your message makes more sense to empower the “victim” in teaching self control. The real victim is the narcissist and no-one can change their behaviors or actions.
Yes. Advertising, government, and social media/media is a form of manipulation. And that is why I don't consume myself with any of it. People should really watch little to no news. They shouldn't be on all of these social media websites or whatever the case maybe.
Social media, yes, leave it behind. No news? You do need to remain informed so you need to get your news from a trusted, not biased, source, but always keep in mind how bias could creep in. Also good to hear news from a variety of independent sources and come to your own conclusions.
I havent watched the news now for 7 years. The tv rarely comes on and when it does I will watch a korean soap opera, only have netflix because my mother in law watches it every day. But not having the tv on is the best thing! Least I didnt get brainwashed with all the covid crap lol.
I had to deal with this at work and the person tried several manipulation tactics on me but I didn't fall for them. I told my therapist about this and she actually fell for the person's tactics. I was astounded. I told my therapist that I disagreed with her viewpoint and she seemed to eventually see that what this person was doing wasn't right. I'm glad this person showed me their true colors, the sooner you know the better. It's pretty creepy because they present so differently to others.
You must learn to value yourself and love yourself and do not put up with anyone's narcissist tactics, there's power in just walking away and do not waist your time trying to fix something that is just broken.
I have experienced this ‘I knew this person was going to be here, but I didn’t tell you because I want you to realize that you are going to meet these types of people all the time until you fix what it is in you that causes you to attracted these types’. This only ever happened at their events because I was no longer in contact with any family or friends of my own.
💕”calling it out...” I did that for the first time yesterday and it was nice to hear that is actually an effective tactic to maintain self control. And MINDFULNESS is also Very key.😅💕🙌🏻💕🥰🥰🥰🥰
They would say "I didnt lie to u,I just didnt tell u" and they say that's not the same thing as lying. Also they would say they wouldn't tell me cuz they use lying as a tool cuz they know I'd gt crazy and start screaming yelling and fighting with them, yet if I ask them calmly I'd get same response. Also they'd lie about the stupidest shit little things and I'd say wow u can lie about anything then.
10:58 the Narcissist can also start begging (please, please come to the party), trying to bribe (if you come with me to the party i will go with you to the baseball match) or threaten (if you dont come with me then i will never go with you to your baseball machtes). Important is that you do not take your NO back. If you take it back then your No's will not be heared anymore in the future, the Narcissist will be convinced he can talk it away, turn it into a YES by just trying different triggers on you
I went to 5 minutes in to see if I needed to go earlier for the start of the tactics, but it was at about 5:30 minutes into the video that the info on tactics started. 1)Withholding, 2)Lying, 3)Gaslighting, 4)Emotional Blackmailing, 5)Passive Agressive Behavior
Thank you so, so much for this video. My ex (who I'm still living with... I moved across the country with him when we were still together) withheld information that he knew was a deal breaker for me... Essentially tricking me into moving across the country with him... When confronted it was just lies stacked upon lies... I've been having a hard time acting accordingly and completely cutting off because he is so sweet and supportive in every other way... It's so crazy making 😭 my last ex was clearly abusive and it still took forever to leave but this seems so much harder and less clear cut. Thank you for making this piece clear 💜
Excellent, "withholding", "isolating" and "gaslighting". I feel guilt over burned bridges with family of origin but when you list these concepts, my mind automatically connects the dots over past experience and i find myself feeling outraged instead. Thankyou.
Great video and loved the real life example as it helped to understand the various techniques so clearly. It also helped me realize that I was a victim of all of these from my narcissistic ex partner. Thank you!
Excellent video & very accurate. Seen highly manipulative people use all of these, sometimes the same person. It also makes the manipulated person look like a fool and people who know what is happening lose respect for the person being manipulated especially when that person condones it...
Have 3 brothers and a half brother that are sociopaths. Sadly, I am also seeing it in their children. Pray it won't be in the their grandchildren . . .
@@getdownorlaydown3696 Actually it sounds to me like she wants to eat some chicken. If you’re wondering how I got that out of what she said, it’s the same way you got out of what you said. Cause I’m crazy. Yee haw.
It helps to talk about your own feelings, say "a list" of current feelings , it doesn't matter if they will agree to listen (by doing that you let them out, no longer holding onto them), then ask yourself "Why do I need this situation?' "What lesson do I have to learn from it?" (let another person ask themselves the same question). All this process is called 'legalization of feelings". Every time there is a painful situation it means it is a "learning situation" and a person needs to find out why it came
It’s interesting when you meet people who look at manipulation tactics as just some sort of a game of life. When you realize what you’re looking at, part of that game is to dump them also.
Great content! I been learning more when it comes to manipulation and other type of behaviors. It has been very helpful to know this not only to recognize certain behaviors in myself and change them but also to be aware of the people that are around me. Not sure if you can probably touch this in a future video but I would like to know when it come to using children to emotionally manipulate others? How to know if they are just doing it for the benefit of the kids or just their own. Also about manipulating children like maybe love bombing if Im saying the term correctly. At the beginning they wouldn’t show much affection or say I love you but out of nowhere they have this overly affectionate behavior. This would be coming from a relative having this behavior. And if their is manipulation how to protect kids. Would love to get your opinion on this and thank you for sharing your knowledge on this 😊 have a great day!
dear christina, thank you very much for your hard work. i wish you nothing but the best. btw you look great 😍 and i adore your personality and your frame of mind. greetings from austria 🥰.
This first situation you mentioned sounds just like what happened in April and October. Not quite sure about October but she was texting someone instead of talking to me. Probable same guy as in April. Thanks for reminding me why she needs to be outta my life.
Gift giving or negotiating something to give to help their situation for example if I said I didn't have the right shoes to go to the event or if I didn't have a car / transport, this would always happen if I was saying no
When dating just ask them what their faults are. They have none. If you press it they will list other peoples faults like theres nothing wrong with them but others. It is impossible for them not to shift. They just can't do it. Try it. You will see the Narcissist right away
I was raised by a bipolar, narcissistic mother who is a master of manipulation and a very disengaged father. Hence I too am a master of manipulation. In my past I've used it against people, friends and family. After years of therapy I learned how destructive, unhealthy and flat out wrong it is to treat people that way. So I hung those spurs up many, many years ago. The upside to all of that is that I can spot attempted manipulation from a mile away and I can counter strike it down like a mutha fugga! I call it "manipulating the manipulator". Unfortunately, especially as of late, I've had to use those tactics on my wife which drives her nuts but also breaks my heart to have to do so purely in self defense. But I'm so sucker and the cycle of abuse stops right now!!
5:13 IDK if “letting the person know” short-circuits the manipulative nature of the request. I’m dealing with someone right now who just said to me, “ … we’ll I _had_ to ask.” What does _that_ mean? WHO’s making you ask? The person in control of _YOU?”_ When someone says “I HAD to ask,” that’s very suspicious because if you _refuse,_ there will be some _unpleasant consequences_ as in my case there were which I didn’t see coming. The revenge was almost immediate, and it’s taken me about two months to figure it out.
How do I understand this? My husband takes me out fine dining and practically attacks me about something he sturnly wants me to do or something he is going to do (a decision that would normally otherwise be discussed and negotiated in a healthy relationship). The discussions start early on in the dinner and he has moments of getting louder, as he knows that it embarrasses me. He did this twice lately, then on the third date, I felt so disappointed after putting the pieces together, so much that I cried. The nicest looking person in the whole place, crying. Then he had the nerve to offer boxing up our food and tried to wipe my face, acting so empathetic. Within this whole time period, he does not invite me out with him for anything else as he goes out whenever he wants.
My ex openly would say the thing she is most proud of about herself is she can manipulate anyone to get anything she wants. Truly truly sick. She would use all those techniques and loved using the we had this conversation and you agreed.
There is a difference between narcissists and someone with narcissistic tendencies; Unless someone is a conscious narcissist, most gaslighting is the result of a person's self delusion - not intentional manipulation. That is why a person can be so good at it - It is an instinctive pattern to protect their own sense of self. You can't point out what people instinctively do and can not easily see. Even if such a person is your partner you will have to be satisfied with being just friends and not true partners - even if you remain with them. Sometimes it will feel like a partnership, but mostly it will just be like two friends who pretend to act like partners.
There's so many forms of bullying its crazy. There's subtle things that people say to to manipulate you. Even close family members and they don't realize they do it. 1: people that ask you what are you talking about. Ever said something about a group topic that you know made sense. People who see you under them will ask you this question like you're stupid or as you didn't make sense when you obviously did. 2. People who just laugh at you for saying something little or simply when they notice you're feeling different. I had times where I have made a little face because I was bored or something and someone would exaggerate how I was feeling and laugh and asked me am I OK. Like I literally just made a bored face what's so funny 3. When you express an opinion and someone disagrees but they also throw someone else in the conversation just to sh* on your opinion and laugh at you. Like their opinion was 100% right. Long story short: there's little things people do to get a reaction out of you when they feel your not as smart as you.
Confusing put-downs. My mom calls me to thank me for the Mothers Day Delivery of Shari’s Berries and hangs up after I answer the phone, then I call back and she answers the phone and I say Hi mom, you called and she responds I'm not your mom. Then proceeds to ask me about my DIL (an unkind and nosy question), Then she starts talking about her new “Lift Chair”. Geez I hang up confused and feeling like there she goes “AGAIN” so awkward.
Great input! Thank you. I want to inform you that a "DeEsser" might help you to make your videos more pleasant to listen. If I remember correctly there are harsch "s" sounds in other videos of yours. Its easy to apply. You can finde instructions in the www. Also there are probably free versions. Maybe you already hava such plug in in your Video Software. Good luck. Thank you greatfuly :)
I've came to realize that my current husband is a covert narcissist & a manipulative person .. it's really hard to walk away because we have our 1st baby on the way and yesterday was our 1st anniversary which he spent fighting with me .. yelling at me and calling me names, I'm thinking about divorce but I feel like I'm too emotional (pregnant) to be taking this kind of life changing step right now.
You don't want to have your Husband yelling or screaming at you when your child is old enough to be affected. Yes, pregnancy can make one emotional but abuse is abuse and its wrong for you and your child. 🍒
Had an ex that wud push my trauma buttons to get me upset, and wouldnt drop it when I askd.. Wed end up in an argument. Then theyd take off/disappear literally and not answer phone or door. Then when finalky show up, its all.. Ill only come back if u stop putting me down.... Then the button pushing starts over. We broke up, 16yrs later we reconnected.. And they started bringing up my past traumas all over again!! I cudnt believe it.
All interaction is manipulation- but there is good manipulation and bad manipulation- it depends on the motive of the person whether it’s going to be damaging or not to someone
Question for everyone - If someone told you that your partner was manipulative, would you have believed them? Would you want someone to say that or would you have doubled down on your loyalty to them? Considering messaging the partner of my ex.
Please say something. Its as urgent as outing a predator. The other person may not believe you right away but they deserve a heads up because they will say hey? What the what is going on here eventually. I wish someone would have slapped me atleast but instead ive been in a few manipulative relationships way longer than i should have been and i only wished at the end i would have slapped myself cause i lost my Mother along the way and i could depend on her and her informative words and intuition like the 1St and 15th of the month is paychecks and food stamps....
I don't know if anyone will see this but, I walked away from someone trying to gaslight me and told them "i'm not going to let you talk to me like that" They gave me the silent treatment for the rest of the night all the way into the next day when they acted like nothing happened. Is this just the way it has to be?
They always pretend nothing happened. They would have to admit What they did, that they lied, and what they are doing is wrong. Narcs don't want to opologize. That's the way they do.
I think it all about consciousness about what motivates us as human beings. About our shadow side. I can t always blame others but neither can I always be the one that takes the blame (codependent/scapegoat). It about seeking truth and justice. How can we stay mentally sane without them? Tolerating incertainty is as important as listening (knowing) your gut instinct when something doesn t feel quite right. We all have a moral responsibility in this world, in our actions and words to value honesty over lying/twisting reality.
Here's one for you... Someone who disregards the important things that you want and or need but then goes all out to apologize for tiny or even imaginary transgressions.
@@steveshattah no, I'm divorced . Have been for several years. I'm engaged to someone who I suspect is a narcissist ( BTW, not gonna marry this guy. Just planning a safe exit ).
I will say the silent treatment doesn't work on me anymore. Giving me the silent treatment actually makes me happy because I know I won't have to deal with you anymore. Lol.
Met a lovely looking lady on FB, she became a friend at first, sent me pictures of herself looking very attractive. I told her I would love to meet up with her, she said of course, as soon as the weather got better.She was lovely and sweet for the first 5 months but then I noticed a slight change in her attitude, becoming disrespectful and playing the victim, complaining allot about work and people. She sent me some picture of herself and I asked her if I could see the one she had shown me before but then deleted before I could download it. She immediately became angry and swore at me and discarded me, saying she did not have to do any such thing. 2 weeks later she came back and was again very nice, this time asking me if I would like to meet her for real.Being a bit of an empath I said ok and a time and date was arranged. On the day I traveled 2 hours drive up to her place, knocked her door and she put her face out of her bedroom window and said she would be down in 10 minutes as she expected me a bit late and was not ready.I could see her face and she looked identical to all the fb photos she had sent previously, I was exited to meet her. 10 minutes later she turned up at the front door and said hello, I could not believe what was standing in the doorway, she looked like a tramp, she deliberately painted eye shadow on her eyes and thickened her eye brows, she looked completely unrecognisable? I was shocked but decided not to say anything. We did have a pleasant day but I think she knew I felt strange with her. Anyways fast forward a week later and she sent me a video of a music track on her phone but a one point the screen went dark and I could see her true face reflected in the phone briefly, it was like she was taunting me. I called her out about it and she immediately became defensive telling me she could look however she felt at the time. I could not let it rest and kept chalenging her about it until she discarded me again. A few days later I found a video on Narcissim and could not believe what had happened over those 7 months, I never contacted her again and consider I have had a lucky escape. The thing that hurt me so much was the fact she hid how she normally presented herself to me, I guess I actually saw the real person, the mask had been removed as a deliberate ploy to mess my head up. Thank God we have videos on this subject to warn us of these dangerous, manipulative people.
Yea they'd say well such n such will do it..Mainly a person they know or think you'd be jealous of them comparing you with..Forced competition...they are so gross and insidious..
was it just me or did the audio on this have really heavy bass? anyway, I've been/am being manipulated/gaslit/lied to/about/slandered in every possible way WHILE being completely isolated for 4 years straight, and either everyone I know has also been manipulated, or they are all manipulating me for some reason that I can not even guess WHY. All I can think is that there is a very malignant narcissist somewhere out there, using every toxic person I know or have ever known, and every kind of manipulation and lie imaginable to destroy me and my life. all I ever wanted was to be loved and instead got used, abused, harassed, stalked and slandered. I don't think there's much I can do after 6-7 years of living in the twilight zone other than do my best to convey what's been done to me to the police as succinctly as possible and hope they take me seriously. I've been robbed of my ideas, character/reputation, 7 years of my life, my zest for life, my health, friends, social support and intelligence (I honestly feel brain damaged, I can FEEL it, like my brain is just not working the way it should). I want someone held accountable and charged for what has been done to and taken from me.
OH BOY" I am so sorry your mind has been poisoned, brainwashed or Traumatized. Sounds like myself. I dont have my support group any more, or I'd invite you. I've been slowly healing & seeing the light at the end of a Smaller Tunnel. I say get away from people you dont feel comfortable around. Take a road trip with your. **BEST FRIEND- YOURSELF! 😉** I'LL TRY LOOKING U UP TO CHAT or MESSAGE" if you'd ĺike. GOOD LUCK & GOD SPEED
@@paulaaliasp.k.o4862 not brainwashed, my brain has been damaged by long-term psychological and mental abuse by women stalking & using all the abusive people in my life to harass me. No idea why but a very good idea who and how, which should be all I need to get help from the police. the bigger issue is the stress and the physical damage it has caused, to a stress-based chronic immune disease (which is also a result of abuse in childhood, my family are all narcs) and the loss of not only years of my life, but years lost from my life-span.
Thanks for this video True Christianity and the Bible can help us spot these kind of behaviors and avoid them. It's pure selfishness. The problem is some people don't read their Bibles and don't have a real relationship with God, can be manipulated by so-called Christian leaders in this very same way. Selfishness is wrong!
They do these horrible things everyday then after half your life the relationship ends and still they taunt you because “you were so stupid” They follow up in the coming years letting you know how many times they cheated. How she and her friends all laughed at you for years. These monsters are completely happy to admit to their evil deeds and their new partner laughs it up with them but you’re laughing on the inside because you’re finally free and you just met his newest victim and she’s welcome to it.
I was so mistreated. He is divorcing me. And I don’t get it. He still wants me to take all the blame & tells me how nobody else will ever love me. I asked him how he can want to destroy me so bad when all I ever did was love him. He doesn’t see it that way. They can’t love. So they think everyone else is just about manipulating & winning like them. I hate how these monsters seem to always end up w really good ppl.
@@Jezebel066 honey don't let this eat you up too bad! You sound like me probably brought up to be kind to people. Problem is they often take your kindness for weakness! They know exactly what will hurt you and use it to they amenable and do it on purpose! Especially if they are done with the relationship. When you love you give it your all! Sad part other people don't do the same. Trust me when I say you will come out of this and you will be smarter and better for it! Definately find a total opposite of what he is because people like that do not change. Don't beat yourself up because he made you believe it's all your fault and your the bad one because that is not the truth! You would be better off without him and one day after you heal you will see it! Counseling does help to get yourself back to who you were before you met that person!! I wish you love and better days!
@@Jezebel066 Consider yourself lucky that he initiated the divorce esp. if as u admit/say he treated u so badly. Hopefully u don't have kids together. If u are on this comments page it means ur eyes are being opened now. Kids or not keep learning and move forward.
*Think you may have had a relationship with a narcissist?* Download the FREE checklist to see how your experience stacks up to the phases of narcissistic abuse: www.commonego.com/checklist
A narcissist will never apologize for their actions
Oh hell no!!! It's permanent and I ain't ever turning back again. I don't need any more relationships that are going to "teach me a lesson". I'm quite a scholar!
In my experience, calling them out just makes them come at you with defensive mechanisms. It is NEVER about them. It’s very frustrating because you get nowhere. In the past I used to have conversations and once I continued seeing the same behavior I slowly worked to get them out of my life entirely. It hasn’t been easy, but it has been essential.
Elizabeth de la Vega,You look stunning 🌷,Hope you are not with a narcissist!
It is hard for me because it involves my incapacitated father. Working on cutting him off.
@@manfredmann2766 completely understand. The only toxic person that remains in my life is my mother. She’s in a long term care facility and if it weren’t for me, she’d never receive visitors. Every time I go it’s a stupid argument that I don’t even know how it starts. And here I sit with contemplation on not visiting for a while. My mental health is at risk, we must preserve it, so I get you and I hope for you peace with whatever you decide.
@@jackpetersen7545 thanks Jack, and no I am not! Never again! Hope you’re not either.
@@elizabethdelavega8304 You too, it has taken me years to see it from the outside, kind of like a Stockholm Syndrome. My mom, who is healthy and mobile, is in his shadow, and is narcissist lite.
I visit and text them for similar reasons, but the rest of my family no longer wants to have contact with them (i.e. my child and wife). No longer do I exhort my child to FaceTime them and anytime I call my father out for his crap, it falls on deaf ears, but I will not his emotional abuse interfere with my child, which was omnipresent in my youth.
The best to you and thanks for your response. I wish you well and God Bless.
In reality you CAN walk away from literally anyone that is toxic to you. This include toxic, controlling, and manipulative parents/family members, a toxic boss, or whatever the case maybe. You don't have to put up with anyone's foolishness. You don't have to put up with someone that is trying to steal your joy or peace whatsoever. Calling them out is not beneficial more often then not, because they will not own up to their mess more often then not anyway.
not when you have a sort of adopted sense like if you have no choice but to live with family
True that, but it is harder when it involves your aging parents.
I’ve cut my mother off over and over throughout my life but she has always manipulated me to be back.
I’m now forty and recently just cut her off for good. And the tactics she is using is beyond words.
I live 8 hours away and blocked her number and she is still trying to get to me through others and now I’m really aware of it I’ve now had to cut others off too so they now think all the things she says about me because they don’t have any clue how manipulative she is.
It’s not as easy as just cutting someone off….at least to the point of a black and white thing like ‘just walk away’
My only recommendation is don’t walk…
🏃♂️ RUN!
You can put up with it in a work situation and while you seek another job, and no matter what you do, your work (possibly also personal) reputation can suffer. Narcs can destroy careers so you must always plan ahead when trying to extricate yourself from a toxic workplace. Grey rock is not always an option while you are planning your escape.
If anybody is trying to take away from you your right to make your own adult decisions it is a huge sign of evil control tactic. Ignoring is the best way out. Thank you Christina❤
I've known quite a few narcissists and calling out their behaviour to them was never beneficial 😶 they always responded with more theatrical manipulation attempts or straight up violence 😬 I learnt the easiest and safest way for me is to beat them at their own game, since they assume they are superior to everyone and everyone thinks they are fantastic,they don't notice that i manipulated them into leaving me/another person alone after they refused when asked nicely
How do you manipulate them into leaning you?
Gray rock or yellow rock method, depending if he's violent or of you live with him. Keep as busy as you can working on your goals and self-care. Find yourself and pray sincerely. 🙏
I really wish I had known about these issues at the beginning of adulthood.
AMEN😇
You can't change the past. Apply what you know now, and move forward, and make better decisions for yourself based off of the information that you have learned. The most important thing is to learn from a situation, and allow it to make you stronger and better. Not to become a victim or bitter. You will be alright in Jesus name. Amen and Amen and Amen and Amen.
Don’t we all, but we know now and can educate others. There’s no going back now!
@@ladennayoung2939 I lost my child, due to the gaslighting done by a senior social worker,
This man lost his next job, in fact as as his new co-workers caught him doing the same thing and he was sacked very publicly...
I am finding it hard to move forward with my life, I worry about what effect it will have had on the most innocent, & most important person in this situation...
But I am grateful that he can't do this harm to anymore people or families...
I'm lost.
agreed
I dated as man who was caring for his elderly mother. He lied to her all of the time to manipulate her. She was often confused because he would change the story, change the plan for a doctor's appt, spa day, food coming. It eventually drove her into a confused depression. It made me lose interest in him and come to really think less of him.
Great job. Another manipulation technique is the guilt trip
Nobody is more of a master at that than my father.
You explained the different ways really well, thanks. My sister is a master manipulator and I have now had limited contact for two years and I see all of those tactics that she has used on me and others all my life. I am 47 and only just figured it all out, they make you feel naive and stupid when you finally work them out. I know I am not either of those things , it was the anxiety induced by her that made me not see clearly.
I met one 3 days ago with the exact same birthday as me . He is using it as leverage and to make it seem like “fate” but for me it feels like the universe is reminding me to keep going until you stop allowing these types to enter your life .
He has already said so many things such as I love you and mentioning childhood abandonment smh.
YES!!! Run for your life
Oh no.. Have you blocked him yet?
@@izi.z2384 yeah
@@dangdeionn 👍
Ya Im thinking run also don't fall for the twin flame stuff either.
A friend (who prides herself in being manipulative lol) broke down how one of our other friends has been manipulating me for months which was shocking because I pride myself in seeing through people. She’s basically been “I’m mentally ill and you’re the only person I have” and she had me wrapped up babying her to the max. I only realized this when I watched her attempt to do it to someone else and realized and how she didn’t mean anything she was saying.
I learnt this the hard way why a man I've known did this to me gaslighting manipulation trying to make me believe him not trusting my own judgement, for some reason I had faith in myself going with my own decision because that's who I am believing in myself
@Jack Mikeson exactly can never go wrong with your gutt feeling, when you strongly feel something not right damn trust it ..
Tactic 3 Isolation opened my eyes! I was told to not tell others about the narcissist's "apology" & abruptly coming over to cry then play the blame game for hurting my feelings. The narcissist's motivation being they didn't want me to get validation of their crappy behavior from others that have been wronged so they can manipulate me back into a relationship with them. I still have an incentive for them to not discard me like other family members, so that's why she's acting as if nothing happened. Wow!
they NEVER want you talking to your friends/family or share the crap you are witnessing in your relationship with them, because they KNOW others (less empathetic, more neutral) will SEE THROUGH their BS and be on your side. my ex-covert narc wouldn't meet any of my friends- pretend it was because "i just don't feel 100% yet" and made all sorts of phony stories why he couldn't, when in reality, he knew he'd look stupid or like a loser. he got SUPER angry when i shared a few things with my son, and boy, do they HOLD A GRUDGE and bring up whatever "wrong" you have done to them FOREVER to dodge out of responsibility of whatever wrong-doing they are doing to you that moment!
RUN RUN RUN. trust your instincts. they will never change. they are grooming their next SUPPLY as we work hard to heal from their BS.
Perfect “simple” scenario which shows the difference between someone who cares about you and will respectfully allow you to make decisions for your own emotional and mental health! Love it!
Upon realization of being manipulated followed by anger, prayer and self growth, I realized that the only person that I should control is myself. Manipulating someone else takes away a fundamental God given right to free will, which is now a foundation that I will always try to stand upon. So as a result I seek never to interfere with another persons free will choices in any way. To ensure the same is not done to me, I ask lots of questions before giving an answer to any request of my time and energy, then I let my yes mean yes and my no mean no.
Withholding information (omission ) is actually lying 🤥 too just like deception - gaslighting is the worse lying tactic
Truth /transparency means letting the other person know (the keyword is know /knowledge) what’s truly going on
Makes me sooo angry when people think omission of the truth is different than a lie and not as harmful
I agree!! This reminds me of emotional cheating (connecting) vs physical cheating. Emotional cheating hurts so much worse and almost always leads to physical.
They would always say"i didnt lie to u, I just didn't tell u"
@@AV-fx8kv I knew one narc who said “I wasn’t arguing with him - we were just talking loud “
@@kimberlykay1495 I always said the same found out during there rebounds they wud tell them they love them and I'm like wtfffff that hurt more mean while thenarc tells me " I didnt mean it I just said it to them "I love u is just a word" It matters what and how u feel" I was 😵after learning this
Narc kept asking about if I was a jealous person. I just gave him a super vague answer every time. I should have known from then, but it didn't take much longer anyway for me to determine that he was mentally unstable. I told him this directly. Not that it mattered. Narcs don't respond to words. They respond to consequences for their actions and no contact. 🙃
So good to hear this in a healthy way. Some speakers on this topic advise “run away- get them out of your life” but that’s not saying “take care of yourself and your boundary in the moment which is the message here. Your message makes more sense to empower the “victim” in teaching self control. The real victim is the narcissist and no-one can change their behaviors or actions.
That fake feeling in your head and heart 🙄
love and support to all who truely need it 🙌😇
Yes. Advertising, government, and social media/media is a form of manipulation. And that is why I don't consume myself with any of it. People should really watch little to no news. They shouldn't be on all of these social media websites or whatever the case maybe.
Yes
Social media, yes, leave it behind. No news? You do need to remain informed so you need to get your news from a trusted, not biased, source, but always keep in mind how bias could creep in. Also good to hear news from a variety of independent sources and come to your own conclusions.
I havent watched the news now for 7 years. The tv rarely comes on and when it does I will watch a korean soap opera, only have netflix because my mother in law watches it every day. But not having the tv on is the best thing! Least I didnt get brainwashed with all the covid crap lol.
I had to deal with this at work and the person tried several manipulation tactics on me but I didn't fall for them. I told my therapist about this and she actually fell for the person's tactics. I was astounded. I told my therapist that I disagreed with her viewpoint and she seemed to eventually see that what this person was doing wasn't right.
I'm glad this person showed me their true colors, the sooner you know the better. It's pretty creepy because they present so differently to others.
You must learn to value yourself and love yourself and do not put up with anyone's narcissist tactics, there's power in just walking away and do not waist your time trying to fix something that is just broken.
This is so true, well said!
I have experienced this ‘I knew this person was going to be here, but I didn’t tell you because I want you to realize that you are going to meet these types of people all the time until you fix what it is in you that causes you to attracted these types’. This only ever happened at their events because I was no longer in contact with any family or friends of my own.
💕”calling it out...” I did that for the first time yesterday and it was nice to hear that is actually an effective tactic to maintain self control. And MINDFULNESS is also Very key.😅💕🙌🏻💕🥰🥰🥰🥰
Thank you for tips, always helpful :)
They would say "I didnt lie to u,I just didnt tell u" and they say that's not the same thing as lying. Also they would say they wouldn't tell me cuz they use lying as a tool cuz they know I'd gt crazy and start screaming yelling and fighting with them, yet if I ask them calmly I'd get same response. Also they'd lie about the stupidest shit little things and I'd say wow u can lie about anything then.
A half truth is a whole lie
I've literally experienced this response 🤣 it's unbelievable how ridiculous they sound when they say these things
10:58 the Narcissist can also start begging (please, please come to the party), trying to bribe (if you come with me to the party i will go with you to the baseball match) or threaten (if you dont come with me then i will never go with you to your baseball machtes). Important is that you do not take your NO back. If you take it back then your No's will not be heared anymore in the future, the Narcissist will be convinced he can talk it away, turn it into a YES by just trying different triggers on you
I went to 5 minutes in to see if I needed to go earlier for the start of the tactics, but it was at about 5:30 minutes into the video that the info on tactics started. 1)Withholding, 2)Lying, 3)Gaslighting, 4)Emotional Blackmailing, 5)Passive Agressive Behavior
Thank you so, so much for this video. My ex (who I'm still living with... I moved across the country with him when we were still together) withheld information that he knew was a deal breaker for me... Essentially tricking me into moving across the country with him... When confronted it was just lies stacked upon lies... I've been having a hard time acting accordingly and completely cutting off because he is so sweet and supportive in every other way... It's so crazy making 😭 my last ex was clearly abusive and it still took forever to leave but this seems so much harder and less clear cut. Thank you for making this piece clear 💜
Excellent, "withholding", "isolating" and "gaslighting". I feel guilt over burned bridges with family of origin but when you list these concepts, my mind automatically connects the dots over past experience and i find myself feeling outraged instead. Thankyou.
Another manipulation tactic, I think, is persistent pushiness. Chipping away at you until you finally give in.
Great video and loved the real life example as it helped to understand the various techniques so clearly. It also helped me realize that I was a victim of all of these from my narcissistic ex partner. Thank you!
I would’ve said,”ok, I’m out weirdo” that screams crazy
Superb advices, highly accurate and useful xxxxxx
Thanks Karen 🙏❤
Absolutely we can walk away ,good advice and observation.👍
Wow. This describes someone in close to. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on manipulation from Narcissism.
oh my gosh ... 34 years! EXACTLY.
Excellent video & very accurate. Seen highly manipulative people use all of these, sometimes the same person. It also makes the manipulated person look like a fool and people who know what is happening lose respect for the person being manipulated especially when that person condones it...
Notice whom they lose respect for and whom they do not in these cases.
Have 3 brothers and a half brother that are sociopaths. Sadly, I am also seeing it in their children. Pray it won't be in the their grandchildren . . .
You sound jealous of your family's happiness cause your lonely
@@getdownorlaydown3696 Actually it sounds to me like she wants to eat some chicken. If you’re wondering how I got that out of what she said, it’s the same way you got out of what you said. Cause I’m crazy. Yee haw.
It helps to talk about your own feelings, say "a list" of current feelings , it doesn't matter if they will agree to listen (by doing that you let them out, no longer holding onto them), then ask yourself "Why do I need this situation?' "What lesson do I have to learn from it?" (let another person ask themselves the same question). All this process is called 'legalization of feelings". Every time there is a painful situation it means it is a "learning situation" and a person needs to find out why it came
Go, Girl! Seems SO obvs now, damn it! Just gotta keep on ;truckin'! Keep up the great work! :)
Yes and narcissist gaslight/manipulate on a regular basis.
I define manipulation as a self serving way of interacting with others.
It’s interesting when you meet people who look at manipulation tactics as just some sort of a game of life. When you realize what you’re looking at, part of that game is to dump them also.
Great content! I been learning more when it comes to manipulation and other type of behaviors. It has been very helpful to know this not only to recognize certain behaviors in myself and change them but also to be aware of the people that are around me.
Not sure if you can probably touch this in a future video but I would like to know when it come to using children to emotionally manipulate others? How to know if they are just doing it for the benefit of the kids or just their own.
Also about manipulating children like maybe love bombing if Im saying the term correctly.
At the beginning they wouldn’t show much affection or say I love you but out of nowhere they have this overly affectionate behavior. This would be coming from a relative having this behavior. And if their is manipulation how to protect kids.
Would love to get your opinion on this and thank you for sharing your knowledge on this 😊 have a great day!
Thank you. This info was helpful.
Brilliant thank you
I absolutely hate truth by omission my whole family is like that. But I absolutely loved your first analogy the honest one😁
People in America are extremely manipulated and go along even to the harm of others
It's not just in the US, they're everywhere.
Yes I am big dumb
dear christina, thank you very much for your hard work. i wish you nothing but the best. btw you look great 😍 and i adore your personality and your frame of mind. greetings from austria 🥰.
Love this video, it is a good quality information here. Thanks!
Hey Christina! Nice to see you! I know some sneaky ones lol I hope all is well beautiful! Don’t be a stranger! 🙏😘❤️
Hi Pete! Ah, most of them are 😅❤
Thank you for a great video with remarkably helpful information.
This first situation you mentioned sounds just like what happened in April and October. Not quite sure about October but she was texting someone instead of talking to me. Probable same guy as in April.
Thanks for reminding me why she needs to be outta my life.
Also why i couldn't trust in October when she said she had a migraine, so we weren't going out for her birthday. Omg.
I like to see Men coming forward. Thank you for being BRAVE.
Sounds like my life!
Gift giving or negotiating something to give to help their situation for example if I said I didn't have the right shoes to go to the event or if I didn't have a car / transport, this would always happen if I was saying no
Can u speak a bit more on this or where going with this? I think gift g$iving, assisting is one of those, such a fine line type of things.
He blackmails me by threatening to try to get me fired if I try to make him leave. He threatens revenge to hurt me any way he can.
When dating just ask them what their faults are. They have none. If you press it they will list other peoples faults like theres nothing wrong with them but others. It is impossible for them not to shift. They just can't do it. Try it. You will see the Narcissist right away
I was raised by a bipolar, narcissistic mother who is a master of manipulation and a very disengaged father. Hence I too am a master of manipulation. In my past I've used it against people, friends and family. After years of therapy I learned how destructive, unhealthy and flat out wrong it is to treat people that way. So I hung those spurs up many, many years ago. The upside to all of that is that I can spot attempted manipulation from a mile away and I can counter strike it down like a mutha fugga! I call it "manipulating the manipulator". Unfortunately, especially as of late, I've had to use those tactics on my wife which drives her nuts but also breaks my heart to have to do so purely in self defense. But I'm so sucker and the cycle of abuse stops right now!!
I get it!
5:13 IDK if “letting the person know” short-circuits the manipulative nature of the request. I’m dealing with someone right now who just said to me, “ … we’ll I _had_ to ask.”
What does _that_ mean?
WHO’s making you ask? The person in control of _YOU?”_
When someone says “I HAD to ask,” that’s very suspicious because if you _refuse,_ there will be some _unpleasant consequences_ as in my case there were which I didn’t see coming. The revenge was almost immediate, and it’s taken me about two months to figure it out.
Purple purse. Founded by Allstate between 2004-2005. But they really don’t help with people that are being controlled financially
Hi... 😊Brilliant,Thank-you Hun x
Great video. Thank you xx
They are all about manipulation and themselves. It is refreshing to put myself first.
How do I understand this? My husband takes me out fine dining and practically attacks me about something he sturnly wants me to do or something he is going to do (a decision that would normally otherwise be discussed and negotiated in a healthy relationship). The discussions start early on in the dinner and he has moments of getting louder, as he knows that it embarrasses me. He did this twice lately, then on the third date, I felt so disappointed after putting the pieces together, so much that I cried. The nicest looking person in the whole place, crying. Then he had the nerve to offer boxing up our food and tried to wipe my face, acting so empathetic. Within this whole time period, he does not invite me out with him for anything else as he goes out whenever he wants.
Time to declare independence. What's good for the goose is good for the gander.
My ex openly would say the thing she is most proud of about herself is she can manipulate anyone to get anything she wants. Truly truly sick. She would use all those techniques and loved using the we had this conversation and you agreed.
There is a difference between narcissists and someone with narcissistic tendencies; Unless someone is a conscious narcissist, most gaslighting is the result of a person's self delusion - not intentional manipulation. That is why a person can be so good at it - It is an instinctive pattern to protect their own sense of self. You can't point out what people instinctively do and can not easily see. Even if such a person is your partner you will have to be satisfied with being just friends and not true partners - even if you remain with them. Sometimes it will feel like a partnership, but mostly it will just be like two friends who pretend to act like partners.
There's so many forms of bullying its crazy. There's subtle things that people say to to manipulate you. Even close family members and they don't realize they do it.
1: people that ask you what are you talking about. Ever said something about a group topic that you know made sense. People who see you under them will ask you this question like you're stupid or as you didn't make sense when you obviously did.
2. People who just laugh at you for saying something little or simply when they notice you're feeling different. I had times where I have made a little face because I was bored or something and someone would exaggerate how I was feeling and laugh and asked me am I OK. Like I literally just made a bored face what's so funny
3. When you express an opinion and someone disagrees but they also throw someone else in the conversation just to sh* on your opinion and laugh at you. Like their opinion was 100% right.
Long story short: there's little things people do to get a reaction out of you when they feel your not as smart as you.
Confusing put-downs.
My mom calls me to thank me for the Mothers Day Delivery of Shari’s Berries and hangs up after I answer the phone, then I call back and she answers the phone and I say
Hi mom, you called and she responds I'm not your mom.
Then proceeds to ask me about my DIL (an unkind and nosy question), Then she starts talking about her new “Lift Chair”.
Geez
I hang up confused and feeling like there she goes “AGAIN” so awkward.
Great input! Thank you. I want to inform you that a "DeEsser" might help you to make your videos more pleasant to listen.
If I remember correctly there are harsch "s" sounds in other videos of yours. Its easy to apply. You can finde instructions in the www. Also there are probably free versions. Maybe you already hava such plug in in your Video Software. Good luck. Thank you greatfuly :)
You may also berate your friend of lacking finesse in dealing with that person after you’ve been there.that’s also insidious manipulation
I've came to realize that my current husband is a covert narcissist & a manipulative person .. it's really hard to walk away because we have our 1st baby on the way and yesterday was our 1st anniversary which he spent fighting with me .. yelling at me and calling me names,
I'm thinking about divorce but I feel like I'm too emotional (pregnant) to be taking this kind of life changing step right now.
You don't want to have your Husband yelling or screaming at you when your child is old enough to be affected. Yes, pregnancy can make one emotional but abuse is abuse and its wrong for you and your child. 🍒
It will be much easier for you to leave now than when you have a baby to care for. No one deserves abuse.
Please seek help. It won’t get better.
WOW. 🏃♀️ run!
Financial..they put al the money on savings..and you go to the shop and there is no money on you're bank .you can't do groseries.
Law 3 Conceal your intentions... he failed when he asked about manipulation
Had an ex that wud push my trauma buttons to get me upset, and wouldnt drop it when I askd.. Wed end up in an argument. Then theyd take off/disappear literally and not answer phone or door. Then when finalky show up, its all.. Ill only come back if u stop putting me down.... Then the button pushing starts over.
We broke up, 16yrs later we reconnected.. And they started bringing up my past traumas all over again!! I cudnt believe it.
All interaction is manipulation- but there is good manipulation and bad manipulation- it depends on the motive of the person whether it’s going to be damaging or not to someone
Question for everyone - If someone told you that your partner was manipulative, would you have believed them? Would you want someone to say that or would you have doubled down on your loyalty to them? Considering messaging the partner of my ex.
They probably won't believe you, but I wish someone would have told me.
Please say something. Its as urgent as outing a predator. The other person may not believe you right away but they deserve a heads up because they will say hey? What the what is going on here eventually. I wish someone would have slapped me atleast but instead ive been in a few manipulative relationships way longer than i should have been and i only wished at the end i would have slapped myself cause i lost my Mother along the way and i could depend on her and her informative words and intuition like the 1St and 15th of the month is paychecks and food stamps....
I don't know if anyone will see this but, I walked away from someone trying to gaslight me and told them "i'm not going to let you talk to me like that" They gave me the silent treatment for the rest of the night all the way into the next day when they acted like nothing happened. Is this just the way it has to be?
They always pretend nothing happened. They would have to admit What they did, that they lied, and what they are doing is wrong. Narcs don't want to opologize. That's the way they do.
I’m not sure if this preoccupation with narcissism is healthy
I think it all about consciousness about what motivates us as human beings. About our shadow side. I can t always blame others but neither can I always be the one that takes the blame (codependent/scapegoat). It about seeking truth and justice. How can we stay mentally sane without them? Tolerating incertainty is as important as listening (knowing) your gut instinct when something doesn t feel quite right. We all have a moral responsibility in this world, in our actions and words to value honesty over lying/twisting reality.
so how do you get over the embarrasment of being manipulated? I'm wise to the bullcrap now.
this exmaple literally happened to me in real life omg, he just pretended he didnt know theyd be there
Here's one for you... Someone who disregards the important things that you want and or need but then goes all out to apologize for tiny or even imaginary transgressions.
Yes! Mine does that to me!
@@amybell3922 the guy I'm referring to is married to a woman named Amy. Is that you?
@@steveshattah no, I'm divorced . Have been for several years. I'm engaged to someone who I suspect is a narcissist ( BTW, not gonna marry this guy. Just planning a safe exit ).
I will say the silent treatment doesn't work on me anymore. Giving me the silent treatment actually makes me happy because I know I won't have to deal with you anymore. Lol.
Thankyou 🙏
This is exactly describing my wife /ex wife as of Monday. I saw through her bullshit manipulative self. No contact from now.
Met a lovely looking lady on FB, she became a friend at first, sent me pictures of herself looking very attractive. I told her I would love to meet up with her, she said of course, as soon as the weather got better.She was lovely and sweet for the first 5 months but then I noticed a slight change in her attitude, becoming disrespectful and playing the victim, complaining allot about work and people. She sent me some picture of herself and I asked her if I could see the one she had shown me before but then deleted before I could download it. She immediately became angry and swore at me and discarded me, saying she did not have to do any such thing.
2 weeks later she came back and was again very nice, this time asking me if I would like to meet her for real.Being a bit of an empath I said ok and a time and date was arranged.
On the day I traveled 2 hours drive up to her place, knocked her door and she put her face out of her bedroom window and said she would be down in 10 minutes as she expected me a bit late and was not ready.I could see her face and she looked identical to all the fb photos she had sent previously, I was exited to meet her.
10 minutes later she turned up at the front door and said hello, I could not believe what was standing in the doorway, she looked like a tramp, she deliberately painted eye shadow on her eyes and thickened her eye brows, she looked completely unrecognisable? I was shocked but decided not to say anything. We did have a pleasant day but I think she knew I felt strange with her.
Anyways fast forward a week later and she sent me a video of a music track on her phone but a one point the screen went dark and I could see her true face reflected in the phone briefly, it was like she was taunting me.
I called her out about it and she immediately became defensive telling me she could look however she felt at the time. I could not let it rest and kept chalenging her about it until she discarded me again.
A few days later I found a video on Narcissim and could not believe what had happened over those 7 months, I never contacted her again and consider I have had a lucky escape. The thing that hurt me so much was the fact she hid how she normally presented herself to me, I guess I actually saw the real person, the mask had been removed as a deliberate ploy to mess my head up.
Thank God we have videos on this subject to warn us of these dangerous, manipulative people.
But there's a catch. I already forgot what the example was about after the loud commercial interrupted. Oh well, onto other things.
The one you missed is TRIANGULATION
SO true.
Big time!
Yea they'd say well such n such will do it..Mainly a person they know or think you'd be jealous of them comparing you with..Forced competition...they are so gross and insidious..
Yep, some call it gang stalking.
@@PBVader no no, that's different, but hypervigilance and anxiety/paranoia does often love downstream from actual MOBBING and/or INTIMIDATION.
To manipulate is to move around and or bend for to your will is that sort of right?
Sounds so
was it just me or did the audio on this have really heavy bass? anyway, I've been/am being manipulated/gaslit/lied to/about/slandered in every possible way WHILE being completely isolated for 4 years straight, and either everyone I know has also been manipulated, or they are all manipulating me for some reason that I can not even guess WHY. All I can think is that there is a very malignant narcissist somewhere out there, using every toxic person I know or have ever known, and every kind of manipulation and lie imaginable to destroy me and my life. all I ever wanted was to be loved and instead got used, abused, harassed, stalked and slandered. I don't think there's much I can do after 6-7 years of living in the twilight zone other than do my best to convey what's been done to me to the police as succinctly as possible and hope they take me seriously. I've been robbed of my ideas, character/reputation, 7 years of my life, my zest for life, my health, friends, social support and intelligence (I honestly feel brain damaged, I can FEEL it, like my brain is just not working the way it should). I want someone held accountable and charged for what has been done to and taken from me.
OH BOY" I am so sorry your mind has been poisoned, brainwashed or Traumatized. Sounds like myself. I dont have my support group any more, or I'd invite you. I've been slowly healing & seeing the light at the end of a Smaller Tunnel. I say get away from people you dont feel comfortable around. Take a road trip with your. **BEST FRIEND- YOURSELF! 😉** I'LL TRY LOOKING U UP TO CHAT or MESSAGE" if you'd ĺike. GOOD LUCK & GOD SPEED
@@paulaaliasp.k.o4862 not brainwashed, my brain has been damaged by long-term psychological and mental abuse by women stalking & using all the abusive people in my life to harass me. No idea why but a very good idea who and how, which should be all I need to get help from the police. the bigger issue is the stress and the physical damage it has caused, to a stress-based chronic immune disease (which is also a result of abuse in childhood, my family are all narcs) and the loss of not only years of my life, but years lost from my life-span.
Wow
I feel like my current GF thinks I’m gaslighting when I’m telling her actual ridiculous stuff, that actually ridiculously happened
How do you feel about data manipulation that helps saves lives in scientific research Christina?
She wery good!
Thanks for this video
True Christianity and the Bible can help us spot these kind of behaviors and avoid them. It's pure selfishness. The problem is some people don't read their Bibles and don't have a real relationship with God, can be manipulated by so-called Christian leaders in this very same way. Selfishness is wrong!
They do these horrible things everyday then after half your life the relationship ends and still they taunt you because “you were so stupid”
They follow up in the coming years letting you know how many times they cheated. How she and her friends all laughed at you for years.
These monsters are completely happy to admit to their evil deeds and their new partner laughs it up with them but you’re laughing on the inside because you’re finally free and you just met his newest victim and she’s welcome to it.
I was so mistreated. He is divorcing me. And I don’t get it. He still wants me to take all the blame & tells me how nobody else will ever love me. I asked him how he can want to destroy me so bad when all I ever did was love him.
He doesn’t see it that way. They can’t love. So they think everyone else is just about manipulating & winning like them.
I hate how these monsters seem to always end up w really good ppl.
I just got sent the song “next girl” & it fits my situation almost perfectly. Besides Changing meeting him at a bar to church.
@@Jezebel066 honey don't let this eat you up too bad! You sound like me probably brought up to be kind to people. Problem is they often take your kindness for weakness! They know exactly what will hurt you and use it to they amenable and do it on purpose! Especially if they are done with the relationship. When you love you give it your all! Sad part other people don't do the same. Trust me when I say you will come out of this and you will be smarter and better for it! Definately find a total opposite of what he is because people like that do not change. Don't beat yourself up because he made you believe it's all your fault and your the bad one because that is not the truth! You would be better off without him and one day after you heal you will see it! Counseling does help to get yourself back to who you were before you met that person!! I wish you love and better days!
@@Jezebel066 Consider yourself lucky that he initiated the divorce esp. if as u admit/say he treated u so badly.
Hopefully u don't have kids together. If u are on this comments page it means ur eyes are being opened now. Kids or not keep learning and move forward.