Psychiatrist Reacts to Depression TikToks
Вставка
- Опубліковано 26 чер 2024
- If you’re feeling down, it’s not like there’s no way out. Healthy Gamer group coaching can help you get better AND stay better through group support. Find out more here: bit.ly/37IkQ3U
Find us on Instagram, Twitter, TikTok, and more here: wlo.link/@healthygamer
▼ Timestamps ▼
────────────
0:00 - Preview
0:58 - Pete Davidson
8:36 - Jim Carrey
15:37 - Non-clinical approach
────────────
Today Dr. K talks about depression tiktoks, therapist reacts to depression tiktoks, depression tiktok compilation. Healthy Gamer also talks about celebrity depression, creator depression, and more!
────────────
DISCLAIMER
Healthy Gamer is an online community and resource platform for gamers and their families. It does not provided medical services or professional counseling, and it is not a substitute for professional medical care. Our coaches are peer supporters, not professionally trained experts, and they cannot provide medical service. If you or a loved on are experiencing an emergency, please call your nation's emergency telephone number.
All guests of Healthy Gamer are informed of the public, non-medical nature of the content and have expressly agreed to share their story.
"Are you suicidal? Yeah but I can't because I got a Mom". Felt that
I don't have to a mom anymore and I worry for myself because of that. Thankfully I'm stable now. But if things start to go south I don't know what I'll do next time.
Same
If not my mom, who is the best, sweetest, kindest, most good hearted person I have ever met, I wouldn't exist long, loooong time ago. But she doesn't deserve such pain, she would blame herself. I just can't do that to her. She deserves of everything the best on the world. She deserves to be happy like no one else.
@@JAGUARBURST have you thought about getting a pet?
been part of my reasoning for a long time
The hardest thing for me dealing with depression is the lack of support for me. Theres no one I can consistently count on to be there or understand. So im playing a multiplayer game trying to beat it solo.
I've been there and I know how fucking hard it can get. Having only yourself to rely on when your brain seems to be working against you is one hell of a difficult mode to work through. Wish you the best
"So im playing a multiplayer game trying to beat it solo."
Holy fuck that's so perfect. Thank you.
same
Don't play it solo. You're responsible for your own health, so you have to seek some help. Wether it be a coach, a healthcare provider, a therapist, your local priest or shaman etc.
Nobody will come, you have to seek the support yourself. Not easy but nobody will go out of their way to be next to you and it's unreasonable to pretend someone will.
This man truly is a gift to the internet.
He really is. Really grateful we have him.
yes 200%. So thankful whenever I see something new from this channel, he's literally saving lives
he's just an authentic person with a big audience. you can be nice and authentic too and people will think you're a gift to the world
@@gabrielpittman105 He himself said that he isn't an original thinker, but the amount of knowledge he has and is able to give so easily is why people love him, and I do appreciate this man.
He is such a complete and total dude, I want to go for a beer with him.
Its so funny when he slips in the gaming analogies.
Dr. K: Dealing with depression is like a having a daily quest
Me: Ah, I see now, finally in terms a gamer like me can understand
Well his name isn't HealthyGamer for nothing
"Some people don't have the bandwidth to deal with that."
Sometimes envisioning daily tasks as a Quest Log makes it easier to complete them, and I simultaneously love and hate that, lol
This is why a lot of depressed people "self-medicate" with MMOs.
Sometimes, the daily quest grind feels easier (or more rewarding) than dealing with real life chores/activities.
There is actually something called "game theory" that some therapists have started using to treat depression. They get you to set up your own daily missions with achievements and rewards that you can immerse yourself in to help provide motivation to those struggling with depression. It's a more active/productive form of escapism
"it's hard" "i know, that's why I'm gonna help you. You don't have to do it alone"
My dude, I cried, I didn't realize how much I needed to hear that.
i did not expect him to say that lol
Me too ♡
"100% of people I've met with depression have coping mechanisms", sadly the ones who don't are likely dead.
Dr. K. is the first mental health worker to actually say what I've been begging for in my treatment for depression. I'm not interested in coping, in fighting the symptoms, but I want to get to the source, fix the underlying problem. But professional after professional have been telling me that finding that source is impossible, and instead I should just train methods that keep the symptoms at bay. And sure, it has helped, enough to make me a functioning member of society, but wouldn't it be nice if I didn't have symptoms to fight every day?
Thanks doc, very validating.
Damn man how did they know you cant get to the source of it ?? im struggling with that and hearing that for some people its impossible to treat hit me so hard
That sounds so stupid, I can't imagine actually being told "hey you cant fix your problem lol go cope" that's just horrible. Hope you get the help you need!
@@rubenzepeda7884 oh sorry, I really didn't mean to trigger something for someone else! And I think you shouldn't take my story as a guarantee it will be like that for you; the thing is that for years I've felt like it's kinda bullshit and I've just been getting the wrong kind of help. They just don't know how to help me and thus focus on the superficial. But that may also have been partially on me, so much of my early therapy has actually just been me learning to express what I'm dealing with, like it's been really hard to tell them what is wrong. So maybe it was the best they could do, while I was growing into it. I'm guessing therapy can take a long long time...
I've actually just recently starting looking for new therapists with the exact mission of finding the source, which is not easy but this video really gave me that moment of validation that what I am looking for is not weird, and so neither is it weird for you. I hope you find something that works!
@@manamana7712 A lot of health issues are unfortunately like that. Can't fix it so have some treatment or, worse, can't fix it so you have N months left.
Here's some help:
The source is actually the "reason" that causes you to have "very painful thoughts" or depression. Ask yourself this: What is causing me to have painful negative thoughts? Once you know, that is how you find out the source.
Observe your thoughts like this:
Source = causes painful very saddening thoughts.
No source = nothing to cause painful or hurtful thoughts or depression
You have to observe your thoughts and find out yourself what is causing them. The painful thoughts themselves cause the symptoms of depression not the chemical imbalance or whatever.. What do antidepressants even do? Do they ever give you awareness of your own thoughts and make you understand what triggers them? No. They just mess up the chemicals in the brain and don't fix anything...
I think it's great that Dr. K comments these popular tiktoks because they come without a broader context and you need that with a complex topic such as (mental) illnesses
Yea it seems more and more rare to see important topics being addressed these days. Most of the "discourse" happening on the internet is subjective and inflammatory at best. What I adore about Dr. K is he takes the time to break down complex topics into small digestible ideas that we then feel compelled to discuss. Kind of like a book club where everybody is one the same page. I think this is why react content is as popular as it is, it's because we feel the need to be part of the discussion too.
Discourse was the exact wrong word to appropriate. Discourse implies a high-mindedness about whatever you speak about, and an assurance that you are only arguing over a topic and nothing else. Discourse implies maturity and respect. The far better word to use about “Internet discourse” is quibbling, or advancing viewpoints, or inflammatory trolling - there is no arguing about the same thing, just kneejerk reactions to possible powder kegs that is basically any topic that is not 100% settled. Further classifications depend on whether the problem started by a person deliberately stepping on a powder keg for their entertainment, to advance a viewpoint, or accidentally.
Ironically, this then makes react videos more like actual discourse - people are agreed on a topic and generally far more mature when handling it provided it is not in a toxic community like the 2019 makeup artist community. Videos ironically provide the best chance of casual debates: there is no way to put a video out without deliberately gathering arguments, so more time is needed to make things (assuming you do not react immediately to a topic which replicates being on social media). The further time it takes to make a video ensures that if you become too reactionary or get incorrect facts you can edit your video. Finally, the fact that you actually are reacting to the same content ensures you cannot pull the trick where you are arguing over vastly different stuff and the comments on UA-cam ensure that if you did do that trick you will know. UA-cam comments also ensure if you made mistakes in your research, assumptions, or interpretations you can issue a correction there or link to a far more accurate video.
"It is not a measure of health to be well-adjusted to a sick society." - Krishnamurti
Whaat? Wow!
But didn't Dr K say that our emotions sometimes tends to blame society or something similarly rational?
(Edit: I'm soo close to call out on my sick society, but I'm also cautious that's all. My society is definitely responsible for deforestation, petrol over consumption, and general lack of vital things e.g. mental health awareness)
@@net_lag 2 things can exist. Context is what matters
@@net_lag You can blame society for stuff they are legitimally responsible for. If you have social anxiety or bad physical and/or mental health, that is mostly not societys fault. Society is responsible for stuff like deforestation, pollution, poverty, homelesness etc.
@@alainerookkitsunev5605 i dont think its helpful to say poor mental health is the person's 'fault', i'd change your wording tbh
@@nzvplc yeah probrably. I didn't mean it they way i worded it out. It's not your fault, but it is your responsibility to do your best to get better woud be more accurate and kind way to represent my opinion.
I think part of why in coping vs. fixing battle coping often wins is that current mental health (as well as general health) discourse kind of encourages making your condition part of your "identity". And once you identify with something strongly it's really hard to shake it off. You just believe that's what you are.
There's a lot of merit to this idea. I think when people's conditions are stigmatised, they feel as if THEY are being judged for having the condition. This increases its entrenchment in their identity, as you pointed out.
I think that's a cultural thing. We've normalised coping to the point that we actually think it's "cool to cope", which makes sense considering globalisation. The natural conclusion when we see a lot of people coping instead of fixing is that clearly coping is the best solution, otherwise everyone wouldn't be doing it, right? And those who are coping are more likely to be loud and proud about not fixing, because those who are fixing or have fixed are busy working on themselves.
mental health should focus on what happened to you, not what is wrong with you.
o.o
It's not my theory, but the root cause of depression seems to always be identity. Learning to truly not take your physical/mental/etc identity too seriously will free you up of any shame, judgement or fear. So same, in a way I feel like the discourse helps shine a light on depression, but simultaneously encourages identification - which can often make it harder.
Some of these tiktok's hit me hard.
Every time I feel depressed, I feel like I am overreacting and that I shouldn't have depression and other have it much worse. How could I feel this bad and sorry for myself when I have family and friends, a roof over my head, food/water whilst living in a good country? I feel ashamed that I am not a productive member of society, that I have been given so many resources and chances and still have not managed to "perform" or get anywhere in my life. Sometimes I feel like I am lying to people when I say I am depressed or feeling down. When people try to help me I push them away feeling that them investing into me is worthless and a waste of their energy.
best advice i ever got was to “act your way out of it.” it gets better, but you have to work for it
You're not alone in the feeling, I don't really have a message of hope, but what I've noticed is that every person I've met, regardless of severity of symptoms, think they're performing. What helps is is thinking, no one would want to fake feeling so horrible, and regardless of how small I think my problems are, they don't impact me any less, and I am worse off by not addressing them, than addressing them and getting support (counselor)
Wow okay, that hit home
The constamt secound guessing about pretentending depression, lying and shame in myself have been also there for me.
Though in that particular aspect I got a bit better since I got much more reinforcement both from my psychiatrist and therapist though even small thing as believing that your problems are valid takes a long time.
All o can say i good luck, it hopefully can get better
The source of your depression or painful thoughts is this: where you said that you are not being productive to society or you feel like you are not getting anywhere in life. You have to learn to be more easy on yourself and don't let society to dictate how your life should be. You will get there slowly, sooner or later. This is what it seems to me that is causing you painful negative thoughts or symptoms of depression.
The fix is this: awareness
Be aware of this "source" which triggers depressive painful thoughts. The best way to fix it is to eliminate the source or to think differently about the source. If there is no source then there is nothing to trigger painful depressive thoughts in you. Always ask yourself "what is causing me these depressive thoughts? Where's the source?" That's the root where you fix it.
You have a deep love and appreciation for your community and country and in your desire to fullfil your duty as a member of your community you fear you're not living up and you shame yourself for it. But life isn't a race, there is no shame in being the lowest contributor. You are able, you are enough, you are loved. If you want to contribute more, start with being kind to yourself, take care of your sleep, exercise, eat regular meals and try to feed your curiosity, because that usually sparks joy.
As someone who struggles with Bipolar depression, I find that the difficulty lies in knowing that it will always come back. I have reduced the severity of my depression significantly over the years through a combination of medication and sunlight/exercise/generally taking better of my body, but it does always come back. I'm much happier overall now that my depressive episodes are shorter and less severe, but even mild to moderate depression is still a difficult thing to deal with when it inevitably returns.
It was really nice to hear Dr. K say that people with depression are adaptable and have endurance, because I honestly do feel like depression can be a trial of endurance at times. I never know how long an episode will be, or how severe. What I do know is that I will keep trying my best and will be kind and patient with myself while I continue to figure out how to live with the cards I've been dealt.
I have accepted that I may never cure my depression, but I know now that it can and does get better if I just keep trying. Rather than framing it as an endless battle/struggle, I've come to think of it as a puzzle that I'm always getting closer to solving. Piece by piece, it gets better. It's difficult, but it's worth the effort.
A year ago, I coped by lying around and eating ice cream. Now I'm training for a 5K and learning to play the guitar. Yes, I still get depressed. Yes, it sucks. But my life is so much better because I kept trying and didn't settle for just coping.
Congratulations on coming so far! It's invaluable never to understate how well you've done in your grind for self improvement. For me personally, I'm not scared of times I'll become depressed. It's like running a marathon, you don't always need to keep the same pace. You don't even need to run in the same direction, sometimes you'll veer off and that's cool. Shit happens.
o.o
Like dory once said: "just keep swimming"
Lifelong depression here... I don't hear enough people discussing QUALITY SLEEP. Poor sleep hygiene, sleep apnea, deviated septum... lack of good sleep will fuck you UP. I did SSRIs, sobriety, veganism, working out, therapy. All of it. Homeboy is discussing getting to the ROOT CAUSE. It may be sleep. I've been dedicated to better sleep and using a CPAP machine. That being said, the goal is progress. There's no magic bullet to feeling good forever.
Could...could I upvote this a few more times, plz?
*animated CPAP machine fist boop*
YES
Yes, please. I had my partner go get a sleep study because it sounded like he was waking up in his sleep. Turns out he had a deviated septum and had never had an actual good night of sleep before. He had surgery to fix it and is feeling SO much better now. Sleep is important you guys!
When I lived with my aunt, she held so many expectations over me, I couldn't keep up. Plus, being raised by a narcissistic mom made me a people pleaser, which my aunt took to her advantage. I'd put effort in everything she asked and she always found flaws and said I never tried to please her. It consumed me into a deep depression with suicidal thoughts rattling my brain all day long, with panic attacks sprinkled in between.
The first night after I moved out, I cried of joy when I realized my brain was *silent*
I still have lots of things I need to work on about myself, but I feel so much better after getting out of there. My friends and fiance now comment on how much livelier I look after moving out.
“I know it’s hard. I’ll help you, you don’t have to do it alone.”
Made me tear up, I hope everyone gets the help they need and deserve
I've been struggling with depression for at least 7 years, without any therapy or meds as mental health is still very stigmatized and hardly available where I live. I've recently realized myself the solution that Dr K mentions, that being my authentic self would greatly improve my life, but actually doing that seems like the hardest thing in the world.
Be your own best friend and hype man. Care less about others. Put yourself first. Don't make excuses when you feel like you might get embarrassed - being yourself lasts so much longer than being embarrassed or overthinking what other people think. If you feel like it puts you in danger, find your comfy space. Find your people. Finding good people is worth it and so helpful to being yourself. Go get adopted by an extrovert that you admire - and also learn to say no when you need to. Ahhh. Tangents. Good luck.
Thats what I realised too after all these years. In the end its me who's in my way. I have to pick myself up.
I love how he said "It can happen to real people too." Like artists aren't people, mask off dr. K moment.
"Mental Heal Awareness" and depression have become fashion accessories. Just try to tell the same people who say they care that something sounds depressing to you, 99.99% of the time they will try to convince you otherwise instead of trying to understand why a situation would be depressing for you. These convos are great, the community trying is great but the reality is that in every-day life no one give a shit, they just want you to continue to deliver benefits to them. Tell someone you are depressed and 9/10 times they will basically tell you to "stop".
This drives me away from people, which probably doesn't really help my depression
I just can't escape the shame for being me from society
I think most people do care, but they do not understand the condition, what to say or how to act. Personally, I was drunk and crying in public just 2 days ago. Everything just hurt and I wanted to die. But my faith in humanity got a bit better when not just my friend tried to console me, but complete strangers and police officers as well. They were all concerned and hated seeing a fellow human down. Was I ashamed that I got an episode in public? Yes. But I really tried and just couldn't pretend to be happy then. Not to mention I already knew/know alcohol is a depressant but well it was a holiday and the rest of the evening was very fun.
I agree that people don't often react in a supportive ways to hearing about these things, and that isn't constructive of them. It's tough because the people who are close to you should be trying harder to be understanding and may not. However, the "stop" response comes when many problems are shared, because the person doesn't know what to say, doesn't know how to help, doesn't know you well enough to feel comfortable, etc. Outside of people we're very close to it sucks but the "stop" response makes total sense. As far as service yeah, if I need something quickly and it's someone's job to provide it and they start telling me about their depression, I'll be nicer about it but what I say will probably have a softer variant of "stop" in there because I don't know them, can't help them, and have my own shit to do. People in everyday life can sometimes afford to be kind strangers and sometimes can't, and it's not on them to find empathy for other people's serious struggles every time. There are consequences of that (if they do it in their personal lives, people won't like them, if you believe in karma they're shooting themselves in the foot, etc) but that doesn't meant that it's their job. Everyday life isn't built to allow people to help each other with severe problems all the time so this situation can sometimes be an appropriate time for "stop". I know it isn't nice to hear (been on the receiving end of it myself too) but that doesn't mean the person saying "stop" is always wrong just because the person they're speaking to is opening up about a serious struggle.
It comes from a well-meaning place, I think. They don’t *want* you to be depressed and think that telling you why you shouldn’t be is helpful. They don’t know what else to do.
commenting for the algorithm, great video
it is. and that my friend, in the folklore, would be known as a “bump”
@@LogicIsNeededlogic is absent in your punctuation usage.❤
@@HydrusT ow my feelings? I made this account when I was very young give me a break.
@@LogicIsNeeded LMAO bruv I put a heart for a reason. Also you making this account a long time ago doesn't have anything to do with the comment you posted 12minutes ago. ❤️😘
@@HydrusT it didn’t until you were a jerk for no reason and made it your literal contention.
Thanks Doc K, I loved your reaction to Jim Carrey's commentary on, essentially, the genuine physical stress that comes from maintaining an ego that meets societal standards. Much more so for neurodivergent individuals ime, but still present for nearly all humans.
I swear to god that this moving green border around the camera helps me stay concentrated on the video instead of letting my mind run.
Cool shit, helps my adhd brain
LOL! I try not to look at it, because I find it totally distracting.
@@SilverFlame819 its either or really hahah
I feel like I'm very lucky. It seems to me that my depression comes entirely from the fact that I've failed to live up to my expectations or do not perform as I would hope. This can be fixed by either slowly becoming better/stronger/smarter/kinder/etc to live up to high expectations or by adjusting my expectations to meet reality, or a combination of the two. I have been getting better over the past few months as I've tried to improve each aspect of my life, ie improve my career path (set one up in the first place), work on social skills, work out to improve physical and mental health, read to gain knowledge, overall just try to improve bit by bit and have faith that eventually I will be a better person in the future and my life will be better.
As I've improved over the past couple months, I've come to believe that the majority of people have similar experiences with depression as me, where it can be improved by directly attacking the issues causing the depression. I've started to project my experience onto all others and I will try not to do that in the future. Some people may be more trapped and will be forced to cope, but I believe the majority can improve and get better if they do not give up
“But it’s hard.”
“I know it’s hard. I’ll help you. You don’t have to do it alone.”
:,)
that part made me tear up
This video is gold from the beginning to end. I’ve never thought of depression as a normal or correct function. You’ve opened my eyes and I see this life really isn’t worth living. I need to change something
You got this.
Premed. School is so hard, and doing all the other things that I need to get into med school is grueling. But You are a genuine inspiration. You are the kind of empathetic and patient doctor that I want to be. Thanks for helping me stick in there.
Keep it up bro.
We believe in you Henry
What are u studying to be ?
what part of the schooling is the hardest? im thinking about taking the same path. the only thing is math would be difficult.
@@ewaberchulska they are studying to get into medical school then become a doctor idk about the specialty.
My depression got better when I changed my living conditions + therapy + meds > moved to another city to study
Depression was scary and I dont want to experience it again. I guess thats the reason why now, as a healthy person, i work so much - im kinda afraid that if the depression reoccurs i might be "disabled" for a while. So i kinda work for storage. Usually as a person im productive and creative - always doing and being interested in something. When i was depressed, nothing inspired me and nothing motivated me. I felt like doing nothing. I was just existing.
The best remedy for depression is, idgaf.
When you reach the insights that others opinion of you doesn't f:ing matter, your own selfview changes to be authentic in yourself.
It's hard as hell, but that's where you need to get.
I'm blessed to come to that conclusion at an early age (17, 49 now) and I haven't been depressed ever since.
It's not that I'm being an a-hole to everyone, I belive in being a good human to others.
I just don't waste my time on people that's not good to me.
This is pure garbage. If you think that people who are deeply depressed haven’t tried or arrived at the thought of “idgaf” before you’re an idiot. You were sad for a little bit when you were 17, you weren’t depressed. If it were as simple as that the whole psychiatric field regarding depression wouldn’t exist.
I’m the opposite of the norm: I tried coping and it doesn’t work, so I seeked fixing. I seeked fixing for 3 years, totally work it. Don’t get me wrong, the coping did keep me alive. However, I don’t want to cling onto a float my whole life if I can learn how to swim
Pete in particular is diagnosed with borderline so it's beyond just depression. It's more pervasive so the kind of coping vs curing thing is even more hard to address, especially with borderline where the prognosis is good but you still deal with the issues just to a much less significant extent.
Borderline is a mfer.
My partner is diagnosed and it is pretty challenging to learn the push/pull of the mood shifts.
There is a booked called 'I Hate You - Don't Leave Me' that was invaluable for helping me be able to give appropriate support, as well as helping me understand and process the more difficult aspects.
What is borderline?
Your diet also influences your depression. There's so much crap in processed food that you're just reacting to physically (that includes the brain and energy, which affects mood). Sometimes it's one of the easiest things to fix.
Thank you for continuing go educate me on mental health topics and push me to take care of myself. The part about coping made me nervous laugh lol.
This video has given me so much hope! My mother was officially diagnosed with bipolar when I was around 11 and I grew up learning about mental health. I was was diagnosed with chronic depression in 2015. No where in the past 20 years have I heard that you can possibly "cure" depression. Only that you have to curate an arsenal of healthy coping skills and that is your only hope when it comes to chronic depression. Thank you so much for your videos!
I was at the lowest point in my life at Christmas time 2021, crying randomly, smoking absurd amounts of weed just to feel normal, staying up all night, missing college. I spoke to my doctor instead of a counsellor and was prescribed anti depressants. I really really did not want to take them, I never thought I’d need them because how could I be that bad, but man…. It’s April now and I feel like a totally different person, my head isn’t constantly full of paralysing over-analysis of every minute detail of a conversation I had. It’s heaven. And Doctor K you’ve been a huge help too… Keep up the amazing work
Thank you. I am going through hard times now, I've lost my mother a few months ago and feel very lonely.. but only one your sympathetic video helped me to feel better.
My experience of depression was basically akin to a song you couldn't get out of your head. A cluster of negative thought loops that would trigger negative emotional states. What got me over it was distancing myself from my own thoughts and relinquishing ownership over them and realizing there is a more essential self beneath the thoughts. I think by default most people place a lot of importance on their thoughts, and a lot of their identity is tied up in their thoughts. A good example of this is the guilt/shame/horror we feel thinking something horrible, like murdering our boss, or the upstairs neighbors dog. But we have very little choice what thoughts pop into our head, they kind of just happen to us, they don't really have anything to do with who we are. T
There was also an aspect of no longer "fighting" my depression but just fully accepting it and actually being okay with it. Seems miraculous but it just melted away after that. I've been in a good mood almost every single day for two years, after being pretty badly depressed from the ages of 15 to 29. This is why we need eastern spirituality in mental health. I don't believe in any of the supernatural stuff like reincarnation or w/e but the way western medicine talks about consciousness and the way it goes about treating mental illness is, imo, vastly inferior to the way the buddha did it 2,500 years ago. Instead of helping people to realize the complete illusory nature of thought itself we're just slapping bandaids on the problem.
I was so used to making myself seem happy and appearing fine my whole life, that I didn't even KNOW I was depressed. It's hard to explain.. but I noticed I wasn't eating and was loosing weight. I noticed I wasn't sleeping. I noticed that I didn't ever want to leave the house. But I DIDN'T notice it was because I was depressed.. it's almost like it was playing a stealth game with me. I didn't even know it was there untill it was too late.
I struggle with medication reaction and no qualified therapists in my area. I need more help than I can get in my area. It’s brutal sometimes just to get up and keep going forward. With CPTSD, BPD, Autism, Tourette’s, depression and anxiety…….it’s not easy.
Truly doing gods work, thanks alot Dr K.
I love watching dr. k bc he makes me realize things i should have known about myself, but i never thought about them and i couldnt have known. Im thankful i get to know them now.
What got me out was first getting myself healthy with a good diet and exercise and then what took it to another level was meditation. Learned where I was lacking boundaries and a lot more about myself. Feel like a whole person now
the part on living your authentic self, 10/10
For years I've been denying myself certain thoughts or fantasies by telling myself their wrong or evil, but recently I stopped caring and I let myself fantasize as much as I want. I feel much better lately! So I agree with the authenticity thing. The only problem is that I couldn't express these thoughts to other people because it would probably frighten them.
@@Dimitris_Balf They most revolve around killing people. Beating people to death, ripping limbs off, crushing skulls, ripping throats out with my teeth, being covered in blood. Just really monstrous and brutal violent acts. The part that's truly disturbing about it, is that they aren't angry rage-filled thoughts. I get feelings of bliss and ecstasy from it.
Fun stuff!
@@Dimitris_Balf I have no interest in hurting animals. I'd feel bad even if it was a fish. I'd hunt if I were starving and lost in the woods though.
As for boxing and martial arts... Do you really want to suggest someone gets into combat sports if they fantasize about beating people to death? :B Honestly, I don't feel like I need any kind of outlet for these thoughts; if anything, repressing them was making it more likely for me to "explode".
Oh! And I have tried boxing and mma before, but the places always closed or they were too expensive. I live in a crappy little town, not a whole lot of places to do combat sports nearby.
@@Dimitris_Balf I might! I'll see if there's any where around here, haven't checked in years. I also have had basically 0 income for 2 years so that might be a hurdle...
I just realized i was depressed for a month or more now .and lately i was going out more and having fun with people and i started to be more social again . But still i don't feel the insensitive that i used to feel to do stuff like working out or reading a book. It will take time , but i know it will end up fine in the end.
I hope everyone can feel better soon. The last couple years was hard on all of us. And as a person who in the last 12 years lived with war, sickness, loss , and failure , i want to tell u all that there is a light at the end of the tunnel u just need to believe in ur self and search for what makes u feel like ur self not what makes others feel like themselves around you. You deserve to be your self , you deserve to love yourself. Stay safe
Love this series! please keep it up!
As a future I-O psych these videos are awesome. Please keep them coming as they help solidify what I am learning in school and attribute my success in courses.
Man starting to live a life that is authentic and you enjoy (even just a little bit) helps so much!! That and vitamins and minerals to help moderate yourself as well. Some days are going to be a struggle, but find those you can talk to about your problems with and lean on them a bit. Living life authentically is the ONlY way to live imo now. We are all gonna make it bros 🙌 💪
Thyroid, D, B12. LOL! Dr. K, spitting facts, and all up in my medical charts again. I think I've been a functioning depressed person my entire life. Most people would tell you I'm a cheerful extrovert. LOL!!! I don't even think about the melancholy and mourning I feel, it's just a part of me at this point. It's the other, newer medical issues I'm at this "learning to cope, rather than fix" stage with. I've been to so many damn clueless doctors for diagnostics, I'm not sure it is more humane to simply accept the unknown, or keep trying to find answers, so I go back and forth. Struggling to find answers and help, and then landing back in Helplessville sure doesn't help my outlook on life, or the inner feelings of desperation and grieving any... So just continuing to cope as I limp along...
Great video, gives me a measure of hope.
I'm a therapist and heard about you from a client. You're doing good work and helping a lot of people.
Regarding the discussion of depression, coping, recovery: I definitely agree. I didn’t realize I was depressed until after I had recovered. Once the reason I was depressed was no longer a part of my life, I worked through my emotions and recovered. Took a lot of work, but it’s possible (for some people)!
I worked through bottled up emotions, unhealthy coping mechanisms, negative self view, learned to trust myself, etc.
Its DANGEROUS to only "cope" and get used to your depression but that counts for every other mental illness as well and that comes from someone that only copes with it from day to day! because even if you got used to it and cope with it you still have days where you really really struggle its not fun to wake up and lay there like a STONE because in the back of your mind you KNOW you have to DO something more than find a coping mechanism but the demons make you scared of trying to get help! please dont get stuck ik its difficult to get help sometimes but its something you need please get help as soon as possible dont let this go on for YEARS! and also learn about your mental illness! P.S. if you´re like me mentally ill but try to help other mentally ill people whatever you tell these people LISTEN to yourself listen to what you tell those people and tell it yourself!!!
Thank you Dr.K.
"If your life is not worth living, create a life that is", this was powerful ❤️
man im glad for dr k
Yeah, this is the sort of talk people should see.
Just to show the nuance of it all and to discuss how psychiatrists aren't just to give you drugs, through the talk about different variations of depression, potential causes and reasons.
Very good video.
Dr. K thank you so much for this video
Outstanding Doctor!
Thank you Dr. k :)
another day, another video from dr k :)
Thank you for this. Please do more content on depression!!!
Amazing video as per usual
great content Dr. K
Man this guy is awesome
love these reaction videos, please do more
As someone who used to enjoy things/activities in my youth and longer does, I realize that we still dont know why this happens. Ive been to therapy over 20 yrs, meds over 10, exercise, yoga, meditation, diet, toxic ppl removed, travelled, and not a dent in this condition. Anhedonia, the incapacity to feel comfort, joy or satisfaction, is real, and it cannot be thought away and is certainly not thought up. The stigma, which basically insinuates that ones depression is a choice, is a very damaging one. I would love those who say this to endure this for a week and come back to me. No amount of talking has helped, no amount of theorizing, no amount uncovering the past.
For me, being authentic and dropping the pretending only happened after I got an autism diagnosis. It was so hard. But this year has been incredibly better. I have felt so much less depression. And I feel authentic and happy and that diagnosis has changed my life. I can feel free and be myself with much less fear of judgment.
So hard to find a better solution than coping as well. Failure upon failure makes it harder and harder to try new things. I am at that point where I am just coping all the time, have been in therapy for over 10 years and so far nothing really stuck. Still not as bad as doing Torghast on a daily basis though.
This is my comfort channel
Copper toxicity/Lyme/parasites/kpu/undermethalation are also underlying causes that Drs will never tell you about and also why SSRIs may not be effective
psychedelics really helped me feel that there was another way to think and be. they can be abused but if all you know is abuse its hard not to abuse everything. Being able to experience that other mentality was a big driver for me finding how to bring it around in daily life.
Some people can't afford to take time and energy to enjoy some time in the sun. You know, unless they quit their job that pays for their house and kids to take a different job that pays to live in a trailer, but hey, they got some sun.
@@frogery JuST taKe A 20 MInUtE WaLk
Sooo... They don't get a lunch break at work?
* "The room you are in now is beautiful!" *
thank you drK
You're the first person I've see touch say physiological things contribute to depression. We stay inside so much now, even prior to COVID. Moderate sunlight, physical activity, and cutting back on trash food are all good for you. I see so many friends mock their doctors that tell them to eat better and exercise and I get it, sometimes it's a blanket response used to invalidate concerns, but it's still GREAT advice. I always feel better and do better on days I get some physical exercise and sunlight. Cleaning and gardening are great ways to incorporate that.
Realy loved this one !
Sometimes healing depression/anxiety isn't an option for people and it sucks. I'm severely chronically ill with no cure. I work every day on my mental health with therapists and psychs and get nowhere because they can't heal my illnesses.
For my depression/anxiety, it was about changing my beliefs about myself, how others see me, the world, etc to be able to relax again. Not sure if this will help you but starting off with: "It's my right to have value because everyone has value, How people see me does not have to affect or be how I see myself, I am beautiful, amazing, and was meant to live life how I choose it (nothing can dictate my happiness, rain or clouds)..bad things may happen but I can choose how I react to them.. I have the strength!
Another great way to slowly overcome anxiety is exposure therapy yourself.. find a reason to do something outside of your comfort zone and complete it as a goal. And if you fail at it, it's okay! Be kind to yourself. One day you will! Just keep trying! But don't push yourself too fast, too far or too hard.
Also for depression, keep yourself having one thing to look forward to achieving or doing every day if you can. For ex: tidying your closet, organizing, cleaning up, or on the flip side just enjoying yourself with a great movie, going out, etc. Just have little goals to feel happy or satisfied by something you did during the day :] Create meaning and purpose back into your life!
I hope you can UNO Reversal your problems, I pass on good vibes and good luck 😊👍
Thanks dr k
I've been through depression a few years ago. (As in, diagnosed in an hospital).
As far as seeing 'the view from halfway there'.
Got in an hospital, spent a month there, and the next year recovering and getting life back in place.
I truly think I'm not the same person as before. I live a happy life, with my wife and my dog, and I still have hardships, don't get me wrong, but it's just not the same.
Depression is a memory now, and a bit of a warning to make sure I don't get to this point anymore.
Life truly got better. To people suffering now : hold on. Call a doctor. Get a different one if the one right now is deaf to your problems. People can help.
I had a lot of pressure to get on meds and when I finally got on ssris they didn't help much because while it made it easier to cope a little it didn't address any of the problems in my life that were making me miserable. When I changed situations my mood and life improved a lot and even though I feel depressed sometimes it is nowhere near as bad as it was then
I’m glad you brought up the physical aspect and deficiencies. I’ve been chronically depressed since I was a small child. The last five years, I’ve struggled immensely with chronic fatigue and brain fog. Then I found out I had chronically deficient vitamin D, and taking supplements helps a lot. I wish it wasn’t so hard to get doctors to take it seriously though as a serious factor in my overall health and how it effects my mental health. I have to fight to get my vitamin d levels tested and to get a prescription (otc supplements are expensive and confusing. And yes I’ve done tests. When I go off the supplements, even with trying to add more sunshine and enriched foods in my diet, I’m still deficient without them in blood tests).
5:46 I used dmt and my crippling depressing thoughts stopped for almost a week. I normally can't go an hour without thinking dozens.
Hi Dr. K. I'm a senior in highschool who's about to graduate (finally). I've been previously diagnosed with depression and anxiety, and have been to both a phsych-ward twice and a what I think was a detox clinic once. This depression turned into suicidal thoughts fast and I've sorta always wanted to end my life to some degree for the better part of 4 years. I've since turned to substances to cope. From what a lot of people have told me and from a lot of my experiences, I have a long held belief that I will be dealing with this the rest of my life, and that all I can do is learn to cope and go to therapy and the like. It really fu**ing sucks man. I'd really like to have a talk with you one of these days though I know it might not be possible, I just don't want to cope the rest of my life. I want to move past it. If we could talk at some point after I've graduated, it would be a huge honor man. Have a good day everyone, I hope all is well with all of you.
Hey! I dont know how much I can help you at all, but first of all thank you so much for sharing its refreshing to hear someone say something I've thought for years ,but I've got good news kinda ?? For me I was diagnosed w depression ans I belice I've kept it at bay so much that sometimes I wonder if I even qualify or if I cured myself if that's a thing ,just for context I was suffering very horribly since 12-16 mostly ,in recent years what helped me and this was without therapy although I'm in therapy now was just really digging in to find meaning, I found helping others gives me purpose and that makes life worth living for me ,its what I'm working towards now, I built a routine I keep to ( mostly) with both things i enjoy and things i hate doing , no matter how bad my days i never stoop below a certain level of content ness i got throughout learning stoic values and implementing them into my life ,something that helped me so much was knowledge of psychedelics and really trying to feel the love of existence, its difficult as fuck sometimes of course I'm terrified that it will come back any day ,because that false hope has happend before but , a couple things are is that this prcoess took a long time ,i also thought that i woudl never be cured ,that I will be suffering forever ,and the thought that u dont see a point in keeping depression at bay without actually curing it ,I understand ! Maybe try a different type ? I think cbt helps with tools to combat it bhr there are others that actual target the core ,( I'm purely guessing ) also the book that helped me a lot was " how to think like a roman emporer " also a lot of stoic philosophy UA-cam channels and other videos lkke Hamilton Morris documentary or really hippie channel like dakota of earth or your mate tom ,I dont agree now with a more of the things they say now ,however their ideas and thoughts helped me find my love for life ,I hope that you keep hope ,I'd love to hear your updates ,maybe theres a way to contact eachother cause I'd love to hear more about your,situation, please keep hope and you ARE curable ,it might take advancements in research but in your life time I am positive there will be at least so alleviation which will be worth everything, I'm sending you so much fucking love ,i rember how fucking unexplainable misery depression can bring you to ,you are stronger than this ,I fully belive in you ( english isint my first language sorry )
My only coping mechanism is literally: "If it gets too bad, I'll break, and then I'll naturally kill myself, because only those who've truly lost all hope, in a depressive haze, OR those who are incomparably brave will kill themselves". That's literally it.
"Be yourself", yeah, I know, but I don't even know who I am. I feel like I literally take on the mood and energy that is appropriate for the situation.
Well, seems like I don't want to get better. Oh well, it is what it is.
You should also fact check memes about psychology. A lot of them are full of misinformation
3:55 I have recently started treatment for my fatigue issue (which I thought was depression but apparently its More Complicated And Medical) and my brain still sometimes will try to run things like I could be struck by deep, immovable exhaustion at any time. And let me tell you it is so weird to realize that what I am doing in that moment isn't necessary. Like I don't have to eat prepackaged or easy snacks all the time bc I have the energy to actually make something resembling good food and I will catch myself reaching for fruit snacks for lunch and then I remember I. Have the power to make myself a sandwich.
Epic intro editing.
7:15 Made me smile 😭😭😁, I love Dr K.
goes on the back burner and flares up every now and then
Wait I’ve battled depression for the better part of five years it’s upended my life and all the dreams I ever had for myself and I always thought I could only ever look forward to coping with it not being cured of it. I don’t know if this is the first time I’ve ever heard I don’t have to just cope with it or just the first time I’ve actually believed it but I’m just stunned.
As bday gets closer its really been hard to handle. It does feel like the best I can do is cope. Im so burntout on that daily quest.
my mum always told me that psychologists and psychiatrists end up having the worst kids/being the worst parents, im sure dr k is not that guy.
ironically my mum was an unlicensed counsellor/life coach type person for a while, without any psychology or psychiatry degree, and her life is not in order.
my mum is the person she always projected those negative characteristics onto. bruh moment
Maybe she projected those negative characteristics on people within her progression as a way of “coping” with it, rather than dealing with the actual underlying issues?
@@tyler.walker DING DING DING
Somebody pays attention to the videos, nice one homie ;D
that mini roast at the end tickled me for some reason
I think something that isn't really clear is the difference between what you called maintaining an avatar, versus being your authentic self. You talk about how being your authentic self is really hard work. The thing about maintaining a mask is it's also really hard work. The difference is how that work is motivated. When you are maintaining a mask, it's constantly positively reinforced by the outside world. This is why we do it. Everyone loves it when we are not sincere, when we present what other people expect and appreciate. We are rewarded with praise, adoration, new opportunities, a lot of great things.
When we are our authentic self after maintaining a persona, the problem is change, the problem is it's punished. The people who appreciated and expected certain things are now upset with us not being the way they think we should be. We are rejected, we are disliked, we are attacked, and we are shunned.
The silver lining is that these people might change their expectations, or there can be other environments where being your authentic self is accepted or appreciated. But we need to deal with the rejections and disappointment first, we might have to deal with the change in environment. I don't think being authentic is really that hard, it requires a bit of changing your habits so you don't immediately lie, but being authentic itself is pretty much the easiest thing in the world once you're used to it. The hard part in being authentic is loss, to lose the respect that your persona had, to lose your position in the social group you were previously in.
I think this is why you hear all of these stories of people with depression who thrive after they hit "rock bottom". When they lose everything already, and need to start rebuilding, when they have no energy or will to put up this facade any more, they start to live an authentic life, and this keeps them from falling in with communities who require them to be artificial, and into relationships or situations where being authentic is OK, because they're unwilling to be anything but. I've read a number of biographies like this, where a person kind of loses everything to depression or even addiction and only then can change, because they lost everything.
I think sometimes we can suffer more when we are high functioning, when we can keep a hold on our attachments. When you're a hollywood actor, there are some things that you need to be, in order to be accepted. If you don't fit the mold, you do get excommunicated. I have ADHD, and there's a lot of discussion in that community about whether you should disclose your condition to your employer, which could let you get accommodations. But it's still generally accepted that it's at best a really risky idea because punishment for it is still pretty common. If you tell your employer, you might lose your job. If you care about your job and this is a real risk, you might have to pretend forever. On the other hand, if you get fired from your job and then say screw it, I'm going to live my authentic life, and tell everyone in your job interviews that you have ADHD, you won't get a job that will fire you for your condition, you might even find one who is willing to support you from the start. Your life will be much easier in the second situation, but if you're in the first situation, you have so much to lose. Maybe Jim Carrey could be his authentic self, maybe this will limit his career, maybe the extent that he has been his authentic self has already impacted his career.
I'm a millenial, and this is something that I'm jealous of Gen Z for. As a millenial, we grew up learning about mental illness and personality, and identity, but we didn't have a way to really talk about it. We didn't have the Internet the same way, the social media, we couldn't share our experiences quite the same, we could learn, but we couldn't express. So we wound up in lives where we have these expectation and we know we're different, but we can't say it, because our bosses will not understand. With Gen Z, they grew up learning and sharing. They have nothing to lose. They are willing to talk about their experiences in mental health, they're willing to talk about it incorrectly! They don't need to be right, wrong, maintain a persona, or be authentic. There is a bit of pressure to conform to whatever the current trend is, but at the same time, there's also a lot of support for going against the grain. I guess the only thing it's hard to be is boring or normal. But they are in a position now to express themselves because they have nothing to lose, and it's causing a reaction in places like employers that realize that they will have to accept this or risk not having a workforce.
It's when we are attached to some of these things that rely on this mask that makes being authentic hard. It's like when you say "I wish I could just ... but ..." . For most of us, I think deep down we want to be authentic. Sometimes we hate our authentic self, but this is because we learn that it's wrong and that hate comes from the fact that we have a tendency to want to be it, but don't want to be wrong.
I think that this has been increasing lately because of the importance of identity. There were times in the past where maybe society was more conservative, but also cared a hell of a lot less. Maybe being gay was a sin or something, maybe even criminal, but you could just end up in a marriage with a wife, which nobody actually expected you to show affection to, and go and visit your male friend every other night, which nobody really cared about. But today, even for nobodies, everyone wants to know what is happening in your personal life, and if you get noticed crossing an ever changing line of what society finds moral, then there's a concerted effort to attempt to cancel you. I think this leads to needing to maintain a persona all the time, and be in constant fear that expressing the wrong opinion can cause you to lose the things that you hold dear. If you make a bad take on twitter and end up on reddit, people will literally call your employer and look to get you fired, and it works sometimes.
I'm not going to say whether this is socially good or bad. I'm not saying that people who do bad things on social media should continue to represent an employer. But I do think that this causes a whole lot of stress for anyone who wants to express themselves and also wants to keep the things that they hold dear, especially when society's standards over what is acceptable to express change on a whim, coupled with the fact that anything you did 10 years ago will be judged by the standards of today.
o.o
The hell of it is that we'd be appreciated and applauded as our authentic selves the whole time... That BS about the whole "people appreciate the mask more than your real self" is a myth kept up by our parents... When I was a kid back in the 80's and 90's, we called it "The Act"... that parents always wanted the house cleaned and organized, or don't let other people into certain rooms... keep the company under control so they never get the hint that we're just as f***ed up hopeless as they are... That's what we meant by "The Act"...
BUT we also had TV shows like Roseanne and Jerry Springer... AND we also knew that "Everyone seems normal until you get to know them better"...
BUT it's still a big world, and it takes ALL KINDS of people to go around. Be who you naturally ARE and you can find a healthy place with healthy people happy to applaud you. ;o)
I think that psychedelics will play a large role in psychotherapy in the future. From my experiences with them, they help you view yourself as you would see someone else. This makes it much easier to objectively identify problematic thinking patterns.
Lol, i can do this without it. But still despite of knowledge/self-awareness I cant do anything, something is blocking me
Same. Its about changing your habits And rewiring you brain slowly with new habits And "muscle memory" of the brain. Cognitively understaning myself doesn't cause any changes on its own. You need a tangible practical push in your daily life.
Holy wow.. ur smart dude. Thanks
Dr. K and Dr. Peterson are all I need in my life.
watches video..... stares at cord running from computer into next room.... Dr. K don't miss
I wake up and tell myself im not depressed. I do tht bcuz i dnt want to lie to myself and pretend i dnt get it but instead fight it head on. My depression stems from how i view myself and for me the best way to grow is to wrk on reachin my goals everyday in any way possible.
11:40 'you dont have to do it alone' that really hit me
For me it was that I was without direction for a long time. I was moving in a certain direction I knew wasn't meant for me. What really changed things for me was that I set two goals for myself. 1 break the world record for longest distance traveled on a skateboard. 2 become a writer. Besides that I've started going to the gym (which also helps for the first goal) and I started studying to be a teacher which I really enjoy. My advice to anyone with depression is find something you can work towards