uhauling, gender and representation with Nicole Bloomgarden
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- Опубліковано 1 жов 2024
- Huge thanks to Nicole for coming on the podcast and not only answering my questions but coming up with amazing ones of her own!! We really covered a lot of ground..
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this is the best ep of the pod so far! Absolutely need to have nicole on again, and more creators like her!
Hell yeah, sooo fun and what a great conversation
I’m slightly embarrassed to admit that I was one of those people who (almost) cried when you and Cammie broke up. I think the majority of that emotion came from the fact that I was closeted at the time and watching your videos was my way of escaping and feeling truly like myself, and I was afraid that was coming to an end. I’m so glad there’s more representation on the internet now, and it’s largely because of incredible humans like you, so thank you. Nicole’s right, you’re an icon. 🤍
yes I feel like that’s why people really took it hard, because like 6 years ago it was different and people felt like they were really losing something .
I was heartbroken because they were truly the first genuine loving sapphic relationship I had ever seen my own age and it made me hopeful after growing up in a church that said queer people would never find love. I'm happy they found happiness on their own now.
You are one of the founding fathers of internet lesbians. You gave us early gay representation in 2013 Tumblr days and I hope you know your impact. You walked so the gay influencers could run. Your head deserves to be on the Gay Mount Rushmore.
Exactly. It might seem normal now but being the firsts of anything comes with insane backlash and it takes a lot of strength and bravery to overcome. A lot of the newer generation doesn't understand what people like ellen did for queers like me and the vitriol hate that was common 10 or 20 years ago. Being openly gay was unacceptable and met with both disgust and actual real-life consequences i.e. d3ath thr3ats, tv show cancellations, losing jobs, etc. Shannon and those who started queer UA-cam were braver than I could ever be.
Everyone need Shannon at some point 🫠
This episode made me feel alive. The flow you two have within your conversations seems so natural. Excited to see more from both of you 😁
I LOVED your conversation w Nicole, especially since it centered around being more masc presenting people. It really opened my eyes as someone who presents more femme as to your daily struggles, thoughts on gender, and fears. Especially how amplified those fears are for black women. I would love to see and hear more from women who present masc, and deffff more representation! A Jade Fox interview would be amazing, their style is killer, they're super insightful and genuine and have been online for a while.
omg yes jade fox would be awesome
super insightful and i think it would help people like me be considerate of how a more masculine-presenting woman might want to be treated like a girl in certain aspects and how important it is to not just assume.
Love Jade fox!!
The gender discussion is super relatable, I'm honestly so unrelated to my own personal gender in terms of how it feels, but I love being a women in relationships with women, so it's really nice to hear you discuss it
Best episode, hands down. It got philosophical and deep, I love that.
No but the wanting a penis only during sex conversation was so validating so thank you 🙏🏽 I just kept pushing that to the back of my mind because I didn't know what it meant 😂
Same here, glad I wasn’t alone haha
100%
I'm in love with these two people. Please make a project together! We need it!
You said something along the lines of, "I can't protect you." And I feel this.
I also know sometimes protecting someone looks different depending on the situation. "I can't hold your hand right now. I don't think its safe." That is protecting them. Being aware of your and your partners surroundings does protect them and keep them safe. Knowing when you need to leave is 100% more effective then being able to physically defend someone.
Another great episode. I'm learning so much.(Maybe more than you want me to, but it's all good). As far as I'm concerned we can talk about anything. There's no topic that's off the table. Looking forward to seeing you in Austin for SXSW. Love you!
This may be my favorite episode so far because the topics were so thoughtful and deep. Loved that ya'll got into black issues because I think its super important to use your platform to educate ppl on something they don't notice. Would also love to see queers from different religious backgrounds. Always proud to be a supporter of Shannon ❤❤
i loved this ep!! you and nicole have such a cool vibe! and you bounce questions and conversation off each other so naturally!!
Such a fun episode. Please come back!
Trans lesbian here. Definitely not offended. Please talk more about these topics and tear down the whole construct. How you feel is perfectly valid and doesn't automatically make you trans. ❤
Glad you touched on the travel safety for us queers. Just turned 30, and gen-z can really be out of touch with the reality of how the world can and will treat us. Not everywhere is the same. There are areas in my own state that my wife and I don't hold hands in public because we KNOW. Alabama...
Shannon I wrote almost your exact words in my journal earlier this week about my thoughts on having kids. Would love to experience being pregnant but just don’t feel like I can justify bringing a child into our current world?? I never hear people with the same thought process and it is very validating
Hey Shannon, I'm writing this respectfully, but you said "I feel like anywhere outside of America is behind" when you talked about homophobia in countries. Italy is kinda homophobic yes, sorry you had to experience, but I would say most European countries are way less homophobic than the US. The top ten least homophobic countries are in Europe. Anyway loved this episode, y'all should definitely do a collab.
you're so right!! I think I didn't finish that whole thought!
It's okay:)@@nowthisisliving
I totally get the feeling of wanting a male appendage during s3x but not on my body for anything else. Appreciate the insight about feeling like the more masculine partner but still wanting to be treated like a "girl". I sort of figured that out with my ex but also fell into the comfort of sometimes treating her like the "man" and I think its super important to not assume what someone wants based on traditional gender norms. This episode was so natural and enjoyable.
this is my fav episode so far
"Procrastination is the art of staying in touch with yesterday " Oscar Wilde ....😊😊
I’m with Nicole, T swift is mediocre
Love this episode.. the flow of the conversation is so natural and chill.. You guy are both amazing ❤
I was about to say I’ve never seen Kristen and Shannon in the same room. Two icons
Y’all have great screen chemistry, honestly you should be willing to consider some kind of regular collab. Maybe a joint podcast. I feel like the two of you plus a guest would be great
9:05 No for real though I hear soooo many queer people say this. Regardless of the way things have gone or not gone since, Ellen was a massive platform and role model in a time where nothing like her existed. She truly helped pave the way to garner acceptance for the lgbt+ community; there’s no doubt. People are complicated and have faults / failures and can simultaneously have helped us all make massive strides as well
Yeah, i can confirm that here in Italy the situation for queer community is not good. I mean, is getting better than in the past obviously, but specially in the south, the situation is terribile. Sometimes i feel time i'm in 1700s.
Anyway the North of Italy is more openminded than the south, were Is literally the Middle Age.
From an Italian, Italy is really not okay, I never hold my gf's hand in public because I'm just so scared all the time. I hate it here
I’m so sorry to hear that! I feel that way in some parts of my country and not in other parts… it really depends :( I hope things change :(
I follow Nicole on tiktok and this was my favorite episode so far. Thank you so much Shanon for having her on this platform!!!❤❤
This was hands down my favorite episode!! Nicole was hilarious but I also loved the questions she asked and how relaxed she was around all the topics, which I felt made it easier for you to relax into them and into yourself more, too. On that note, thank you for being transparent about the strap-on and sex thing!! it doesn't get talked about in depth enough! lol I love this pod and you
i love when the questions go back and forth, we get to know more about the guest but also more about you. it just feels like the energy is flowing between both of you.
Yesss bring Nicole back! Loved this episode
wow you have no idea how helpful this video was to me. i went and am going through that same exact breakup experience that Nicole was talking about and its been really hard on me but hearing she experienced it too and seeing who she is today is so comforting. love you guys!
OMG not her asking if she’s over her exes. Ouch. But so happy for her.
THESE ARE THE QUESTIONS! i loveeee this so much like vibes and flow are perfection
Shannon! The timing of when you did it IS the unique and special thing!! You did this at a time when no one had done it before in a world where it wasn’t even legal. The courage and endurance it takes to be not only one of the first but one of the only people to step out and shine for the rest of us to see is incredible and inspiring. I can’t imagine stepping into the spotlight like that when I came out at 22 and then also having my life and love be a showcase to the world simultaneously, but people like you taking it head on created representation that no one else would give us and launched our community forward - to a point where now, yes there is so much representation and ability to create it across different platforms and the culture has shifted so positively!! People like YOU did that with your courage and authenticity. I’m also 23 and have a similar coming out experience to you - waiting through college and enduring a very similar situation with my first love as your own high school experience - which is only now coming to a halt and has absolutely shattered me. Hearing your story and seeing how far you’ve come is awe inspiring for me as I navigate it and I can only imagine how people in our shoes felt 10 years ago as you “paved the way” in so many different ways, giving people someone to model! i can’t imagine filling those kinds of shoes with so little to model after and only your own authentic self for the most part, but you have and continue to do it so gracefully. I’m never the commenting type but I had to pause folding my laundry and come say this as I listened to you and Nicole have this conversation - I just really hope you know how impactful you are. I have needed people to relate to and aspire to be like my whole life and feel so lucky to be alive in a world that has finally gotten to that point- thank you a million times over. Keep being you - you’re helping people like me be me🫶🏼
LOVED this episode soo much ❤ you’re doing a great job with your podcast
From trans (mtf) perspective, I'll say that I've always felt an emotional disconnect from my reproductive parts. They just felt "extra". Like when a LEGO kit has extra parts.
I'm most on the fence about medical intervention because of what side effects could be 20-30-40 years from now. But feeling 80-90% femme, the strongest want to have been born with a vulva is to feel my lover in me without it being so forceful. Without it feel like physical limitations are being stressed to BDSM parameters.
Second Life played a big part of my coming out because the cyber manifestation of yourself was so malleable. Being 100% honest with my SL gf (a corrections officer from Queensland), We'd have deep conversations, read Anais Ninn together, and "physical" intimacy was what we vicariously experienced through our avatars being together.
Holding the door for a woman really is not significant. But for women who date men it signifies to me that the guy has respect which is super important. If I liked women at all I would have dated women. Being a straight women and dating in your 20's is some kind of weird prison because so many men are predators and sociopaths. They treat you like an appliance, like you are just something to plug into and get off on. You have to treat all of them like they're not to be trusted until proven innocent, otherwise you're emotionally and physically unsafe.
I had a totally different experience to you in college. I was not in a sorority but I lived in an all women dorm at a college in SF. This dorm definitely had a reputation for being the lesbian dorm and 15 yrs later I am not shocked that I have one other friend from that Hall who is straight and everyone else is queer. I started off in a co-ed dorm bur I got A LOT of attention from men when I was younger. Boys that I didn't know very well would just come up to me and ask me if I wanted to sleep with them, they'd just nock on my door at 11 at nigh. I made the right decision to move my housing situation, for sure. I had guys just show up and wait in the lobby of the dorm and they never let them in and I could sneak out of the stairwell to avoid.
Everyone has to be a mensch a good person. You have to have integrity, morality, dignity's sense of what is right and be responsible. Shannon, I really like your podcast and I am an ally so when you brought up the question about women treating men like they only care about their usefulness (what can this man do for me ?). I have definitely met women that think they are so cute that they do not have to do anything for their partner-- like the other person has to lavish them on Valentine's Day with an elaborate date and gifts and they don't even get the other person a gift. I think that is so disgusting. Not a mensch.
hahaha i love the conversation about wanting to have a penis sometimes. i've always thought that, but have never spoken about it with anybody, but I fully agree with y'alls stance on it. also shannon I have the same view on the soul question you asked! loved this whole discussion
I loved listening to this conversation!! Please have Nicole back on the pod! Also commenting to say I am a HUGE procrastinator 😅🙃
Pisces & Taurus are an amazing combo 🫶🏼 loved this podcast
Loved this episode! The questions from both of you were really great and definitely informative. Nicole needs a podcast, too. She did great! It's probably one of my favorite episodes. I had to check out her SM and follow her also. I really loved your questions and yalls vibe.
When nicole asked if shannon could've been arrested for being gay LMAO 😂 No nicole, we are not THAT old but yes we had myspace...
I am literally dying 😂😂😂 about this strap on conversation!!
if y’all do this queer dating show, please please PLEASE let me be the queer therapist that helps the participants process their emotions. I'm a real marriage and family therapist and I can help add depth to the show:) just look me up!!
Gotta agree on Ellen Degeneres for me no matter how controversial it can be rn. She was my first Gay woman I ever really looked up to, esp with my background in an African country where that is considered illegal. Still not out but people like her really made me think I’m not crazy in my sexuality when i was questioning and about to hate myself…. Have a little more people i can relate to now but she was the first for me…
💯
I love the new background, I love this podcast how it is growing. And I love watching the interviews with the old lesbians. Even though this is not one of them LOL, the interview was AMAIZING! keep it up
Loved this 😍
As someone who deals with wacky hormones that contribute to my masculinity physically, but also think a lot about gender, sexuality, and my personality.. I feel like as I’ve gotten older they’ve all become separate things. Do I look like a man? Yes. Do I see myself as maternal and want to carry kids? Yes. Do I like women? Yes. Do I sometimes wish I had a penis during sex? Yes. Do I identify with men on a personality level? not usually. Do I want to be a man? No more than the works already perceives me lol probably less than that if I lived somewhere less conservative.
I’m just me. All of those things can be true and it ok to need. My gf and I do nice things for each other cause we care for each other, not cause I look like a man.
Loved this one. Please more talks like this! ❤
thank you sm for having these conversations!!! its so awesome to hear queer people talking openly about this stuff
Absolutely LOVE this episode! Feeling a little less alone 🫶🕺
Not me being into pokemon and half my TikTok FYP is pokemon and the other half gay shit 😂 I feel called out
Ahhhh Shannon you are just so adorable, didn’t you tell us just 2 episodes ago, that you are not into baseball hats right now?😂😂 Look at you girl, way to go 😅! You are just the coolest. On a more serious note great episode, thank you! Please say hi to your mom, she‘s the best 😊. Love from Vienna
the crossover I needed!!!
I can totally related to the “I’m gay but I’m never telling anyone” thing!
27:00 how dare this lil 2pac say that we're just numbers and words ... u wanna catch these hands do u wanna fight?
This was probably the most chill, relax, comfortable I’ve ever seen Shannon chatting. I loved every topic. Definitely have her back. Excellent episode felt like I was chatting with my friends.
Such a great conversation. My favorite ep so far. Keep including people of color and outside of your friends. 10/10
This conversation is such a vibe! Best episode so far, please have Nicole on again. I wish I had this representation when I was younger, especially the open conversation around sex/gender identity in sex. You are doing gods work!
Im so in love with Shannon. Its gonna break my heart to see her with a girlfriend soon 💔💔💔💔
love this episode, Nicole is a sweetheart xx
Emily Brosma has said she wants to be a surrogate so that she can have a child but have nothing to do with raising them, so this may be a common lesbian vibe.
I really loved this duo and I also love the representation and diversity. The authenticity in this conversation makes me so happpy!
Guuuyys, you should come to Rio de Janeiro, Brasil, we have a huuuge black community and Rio was once elected the world's most recommended destination for the gaysss. Also, this episode was perfeeeect, I feel like you both were so comfortable, Nicole has such a greaaat vibe, is so well spoken, loved seeing her outside of TikTok and would definitely listen to her podcast if she had one.
Would like to add a note to Shannon: being brave enough to be out and proud online, when the world said so loudly that we weren't allowed to exist was the special thing you did. If our community is so strong on the internet today is also because of the courage you had to be one of the first lesbians here.
That is way cool that you were in the room w/Kristen Stewart - love her!! But then she should feel lucky to be in the room w/you!!!! Great episode.
Best ep! Thoroughly entertaining and relatable. So good ♥️
This episode was so relatable and you put so many of my thoughts into words when talking about gender. Thank you guys for being so open and for the laughs 🤍🤍
I just started following Nicole on TikTok and here she is!
I like the dynamic you guys have. You guys should have a podcast together.
Can't wait for the new merch😊
48:25 omg never heard it said like that I totally relate
Absolutely love this episode. OKAY love all of them, but this one had a lot of relatable topics
lots to take away from this episode, appreciate the sincerity from both of you
Definitely do a project together
Many topics were discussed in this podcast I relate to.
I really enjoyed this episode. I would love to see Nicole back on the podcast❤❤❤
Iceland is very gay friendly! My wife and I had a great time there ❤
Im in love with these two people. Please make a project together!!!!
this is the funniest and the best pod so far wow shes so engaging!
Hiii 3am procrastinator hahah
50:53
You're welcome 😁
uh I love Nicole i have the biggest crush on her over a year
Y’all had a great conversation! Loved it and would love if Nicole had her own podcast!
I'm actually soo dead of laughter at this , it was soo funny
COULD you guys have gotten arrested??? Gotten STONED 🪨?? BAHAHA
this is one of your best episodes yet!
This was a great podcast. Please do this again.
I am a trans lesbian woman and the question about having a penis for sex is complicated to say the least.
There are definitely pros and cons but I agree with the sentiment of at least wanting it only during sex. It is also different what people experience pre-HRT and post-HRT, but for me hormones helped make it function very much like an external sort of inside-out vagina, which for me is great. It feels better and more validating to how my body wants to have sex. Penetration does not feel as good anymore and honestly never felt right anyway for me. I would prefer not to have one a majority of the time though. Sex and relationships can get very complicated being a pre-op (or no-op) lesbian trans woman, and I would love to hear the perspective of someone more experienced and especially one who has experienced the whole spectrum of combinations of genitals and partners😄
Love love love this episode !!
“i have never gone viral” she says, as the entire lesbian population still occasionally cries over her breakup with cammie all the way back in 2016 hahah
I love Nicole. I think the conversation would have flowed better if you let her finish her thoughts more. LOL as for strap-ons, those things are exhausting and I've used them on Bi-women sneaky links. I do feel we need a better, more intuitive strap on that we can feel too.
Y’all should totally do something together🥰
I’m a huge procrastinator! It’s me! 😂
I procrastinate as much as you and would have a very similar recording schedule if I somehow had your job! You’re not alone! I know you mentioned you have ADHD in a recent episode so I wanted to share how validating I’ve been finding the book How To ADHD by Jessica McCabe. It will make you feel less bad about procrastinating, I promise!
MY TWO CRUSHES
In Germany we have a queer dating show! Called princess charming! It was the first queer/lesbian dating show in the world! I love it! I think it already has 3 seasons, this year there should be season 4 coming out! Also we have a gay one, called prince charming. :)
MADRID is insanely queer friendly! If you're looking for places to travel I'd deffo recommend, it's very safe and welcoming xx
Omg come to Europe! We are so accepting. Specially like the Netherlands, Germany, England and Scandinavia.