What to do when the narcissist DEVALUES you

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  • Опубліковано 4 січ 2024
  • It’s a one-way ticket to a discard #narcissism #narcissist #narcissistic
    For 1-on-1 narcissistic abuse recovery coaching email me: danielle.radin@gmail.com
    More on my podcast “Call Them Narcissists”: open.spotify.com/show/7CRhRYM...
    My new ebook on communicating with narcissists is out now: a.co/d/5vOlvof

КОМЕНТАРІ • 47

  • @carparthero
    @carparthero 7 місяців тому +38

    manipulation of the highest, most egregious order, is when the idiot narcissist "blames" you for reacting to their disrespect.
    narcs will happily play the victim when they caused the problem, which forced you to stand up for yourself.
    my narcissist survivors, look out for #1, which is YOU.
    cheers from southern ontario, canada 🍁

    • @peterknyk1942
      @peterknyk1942 7 місяців тому +6

      Yup! Even when they cheat, they blame someone else or you for their infidelity. They are so oblivious! They refuse to take accountability and then can’t fathom or understand why we might be upset with some of the things that they do! 🤔

    • @writeousone8749
      @writeousone8749 5 місяців тому +1

      Thankyou

  • @lt827
    @lt827 7 місяців тому +16

    Whether you do nothing or you do something you get the same result: but if you do nothing for the narcissist, you get the result faster!!

  • @mcdjbrucejones
    @mcdjbrucejones 6 місяців тому +4

    Narcissists don't like light-bulbs; they prefer gaslighting.

  • @peterknyk1942
    @peterknyk1942 7 місяців тому +18

    It doesn’t matter what I do! I’ve tried kindness! I’ve tried reasoning! I’ve even gone so far as to make efforts to explain how morally wrong it is to do that to anyone, but nothing ever ever stopped her from continuing onward with her brutal antics towards me and others. 😱

    • @calgreg2569
      @calgreg2569 7 місяців тому +5

      I hope it didnt take as long for you to understand as it did me..THEY NEVER CHANGE..

    • @peterknyk1942
      @peterknyk1942 7 місяців тому

      @@calgreg2569 it’s still a work in progress with no end in sight although I really don’t much give a rats ass anymore.

  • @lionheart79
    @lionheart79 7 місяців тому +4

    "Higher caliber of person" i like that.

  • @davidemm829
    @davidemm829 7 місяців тому +5

    " tread mill going no where" love it...

  • @helensophia2900
    @helensophia2900 6 місяців тому +1

    A pyramid scheme? That's amazing,so true!

  • @davidemm829
    @davidemm829 7 місяців тому +5

    Cost + reward = negative 200k

  • @manbearpig7950
    @manbearpig7950 7 місяців тому +2

    I just laughed at her because what she was saying wasn't true. Then i realized that if you agree with them that freaks them out.

  • @user-qv9nw1dq2f
    @user-qv9nw1dq2f 7 місяців тому +5

    Spot on! If someone’s love for you is conditional and demands that you change your personality or appearance and is devoid of treating you with dignity, respect and kindness, it is too high of a cost!!😊 absolutely true. There are good and decent people out there, we should find them 😊 God bless you❤

  • @tnmantn8938
    @tnmantn8938 2 місяці тому

    💯💯💯when I was beginning to be devalued I tried harder, bending over backwards to be so ‘good’….made zero difference of course…but now I know…

  • @mikeleuk
    @mikeleuk 7 місяців тому +8

    Thanks Danielle, for all your advice and videos. We appreciate you 😊

    • @gertrudelisehahn2996
      @gertrudelisehahn2996 6 місяців тому +1

      I second this! Thank you so much for creating these videos. They are very helpful.

  • @randyscrafts8575
    @randyscrafts8575 7 місяців тому +10

    The first red flag is love bombing. That'll happen for around a month at which time, run. Don't look back, oops....forgot that favorite shirt at her place, forget it, it can be replaced. Your everything is in danger. Get away. You don't owe them an explanation, just save yourself a world of screwed up and confusion and leave and don't go back. This is not a joke. Had I known the love bombing was a red flag, I'd have left my narc in no more than 30 days but I didn't know any better and was suckered into a few years of turmoil and torture. Too much to get into here but that few years was like living 10 years. A lot of shit happens. Very stressful and exhausting. In the end you'll need psychiatric care to straighten out your head or I'd strongly recommend it. Just sayin.

    • @davidsalo8397
      @davidsalo8397 6 місяців тому

      Well said. For years I put up with toxic behavior from numerous "friends". Bottom line? They are not friends. They just figure out various ways to decieve and exploit you for whatever you offer them. Get out!

    • @davidsalo8397
      @davidsalo8397 6 місяців тому

      Well said. For years I put up with toxic behavior from numerous "friends". Bottom line? They are not friends. They just figure out various ways to decieve and exploit you for whatever you offer them. Get out!

    • @cyndigooch1162
      @cyndigooch1162 6 місяців тому

      @randyscrafts8575 I really feel for you and it takes time, along with painful grieving, in order to get past that stage, which you already know anyway!
      I also want to let you know that I've ended up in psychiatric "care" a few times in my life from extreme trauma, then was retraumatised and nearly lost my life the last time due to the way I was treated by the mostly unempathetic staff!
      I realise that it would be a difficult, not to mention stressful, job, yet this was on another level. I'll never fully recover from it either. I won't go into the details here, because it's very triggering and too much to write as well. 🙁

  • @JacobCarlson-uq1my
    @JacobCarlson-uq1my 6 місяців тому +1

    Danielle, you are such a wise woman,& you give tremendously good advice and guidance 🙏🏼💛

  • @Theuntalentedmrpitman
    @Theuntalentedmrpitman 6 місяців тому +2

    I put more effort in during the devaluation stage. That made her hate me more. I was taking her on a date a week (hard to do after 12 years n 3 kids). I was having no free time so I could keep decorating the house. Taking out loan after loan. The more I did the less she valued me until the discard. Where I got told I don’t none of the things above. 😒

  • @unknownentrappment_ed3522
    @unknownentrappment_ed3522 5 місяців тому +1

    Cheers Danielle.

  • @JRastafari007
    @JRastafari007 6 місяців тому +3

    This is all super helpful, thanks very much. I dealt with this recently with a business partner. What a gnarly adventure and I'm back on track.

    • @davidsalo8397
      @davidsalo8397 6 місяців тому +2

      It seems like as soon as you deal with one narcissist, another one conveniently tries to weasel their way into your life. Constant vigilance required for us empaths.

    • @JRastafari007
      @JRastafari007 6 місяців тому +1

      ​@@davidsalo8397 Thank you for that.

  • @amarsta
    @amarsta 6 місяців тому +1

    Thank you 🤗

  • @JacobCarlson-uq1my
    @JacobCarlson-uq1my 7 місяців тому +3

    The SUN too!?

  • @aliceidiculay1841
    @aliceidiculay1841 Місяць тому

    Thank you so much for the good messages. 🙏🏻

  • @cyndigooch1162
    @cyndigooch1162 6 місяців тому +1

    It's difficult to resist mentioning that the devaluing often begins after the three-letter word goal is acheived!
    I said to the last self-confessed sociopathic ex that it's best to inform women that that's all he wants since some are okay with it, BUT that would spoil the cruel game for him and others of his kind. 🤬

  • @alienautopsy9326
    @alienautopsy9326 7 місяців тому +1

    So annoying when people down play your efforts. Better off keeping your energy to yourself. Everything is a transaction with narcissists. Not much room for empathy, tells you something about the size , or lack thereof, their frontal lobe. Serial killers also have a small frontal lobe. This has been scientifically proven. Both types share the same equipment.

  • @MarkM-ke6cn
    @MarkM-ke6cn 7 місяців тому +2

    Agree. Thank you.

  • @nintencat
    @nintencat 6 місяців тому +2

    It’s all about Competition and Validation. A Constant Struggle to Maintain their place in the Hierarchy/Pride.
    If they can’t win.
    If they can’t be on top.
    Then they’ll sink lower and lower.
    And try to drag you down with them
    Just to prove a point.
    Seems like they’ve reached a point, where they think the only way to win an argument is to use whatever means necessary.
    By that point they’ve already lost the argument.
    But that was never really the point, was it.

  • @JacobCarlson-uq1my
    @JacobCarlson-uq1my 7 місяців тому +2

    Haha, I like your humor:)

  • @GregMunro
    @GregMunro 6 місяців тому +2

    Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her

    • @DavidVelasquez9
      @DavidVelasquez9 6 місяців тому

      its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let her go i did all i could to get her back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring her back

    • @GregMunro
      @GregMunro 6 місяців тому

      Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach her?

    • @DavidVelasquez9
      @DavidVelasquez9 6 місяців тому

      Her name is chamani White, and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.

    • @GregMunro
      @GregMunro 6 місяців тому

      Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive

  • @WillyNillyBaptistBilly
    @WillyNillyBaptistBilly 7 місяців тому

    Gosh you are stunning!

  • @heatherbowman9450
    @heatherbowman9450 2 місяці тому +1

    493 likes🔥✨🌟💥

  •  7 місяців тому +1

    What about if you have kids with them? It's a much different perspective but not really.n

  • @6bt_str864
    @6bt_str864 7 місяців тому

    Not trying to sound "needy" (but are you single? Rsside in either FL &/ or Tenn? ) You are amazing!

  • @Imnotyourdoormat
    @Imnotyourdoormat 7 місяців тому +3

    I always have trouble hearing Danielle whenever she walks outside with the sun at her back dancing off her hair. For some strange reason all I can hear is "Wish They All Could Be California Girls" playing in the background. Even her closed captions get blurry. Stranger still I'm not complaining it's no problem. No problem at all. Now, what was she talking about again? Narcissists? What the hell is a Narcissist?........"Oby Doby Do."