Rob Delaney On Living Through Grief - EXTENDED INTERVIEW
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- Опубліковано 29 лис 2022
- Comedian and author Rob Delaney joins Stephen for a soul-baring discussion of his family’s journey through grief following the loss of his toddler son. Read more about Rob’s journey in his new book, “A Heart That Works,” available now. #Colbert #RobDelaney #AHeartThatWorks #ExtendedInterview
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As a Brit, Rob's continued advocacy for the NHS makes him a hero and a National Treasure. The way he absolutely lit up talking about Henry made my heart ache. I adore him.
Absolutely this. ❤
Amen. I've moved to Sweden recently (thank you, Brexit) and realise how much there are aspects of the NHS I still miss utterly. Protect it at any cost
There are no words to convey how devastated this lovely man and his family must have felt at the loss of Henry. But still, he can smile at the memory of his precious boy. And thank you, Stephen, for allowing Rob to share his story.
Indeed a great showing as usual for Colbert, one of the best interviewers out there.
@@gllyflower Yes Stephen is a wonderful host. He knows when to shut up and let his guests speak.
I feel horrible for what this guy had to go through. Props to him for having the courage to publicly speak out about the grief some parents go through
And to do it with humor that honors his child. I had tears, but I laughed.
+
As a parent who has lost a child - in a different manner - I have a real appreciation for how he discusses and shares....
Props. Serious props....
We all do. I almost died right away, after I was born, and I'm sure my whole family would feel the same way if I did.
Stephen is an amazing interviewer. He guided Rob without being intrusive, giving him all the space he needed and then bringing him back gently.
he has dealt with a lot of grief in his life, that's how he's knows to do that
10:37 Dunno, Suddenly bringing out a photo of his son (mid sentence) was rude in my opinion
Rob’s story of his other son writing “tumor” (misspelled) on a cardboard box and stabbing it over and over…had me in tears.
As a retired hospital chaplain, I am so grateful for your work of love in this book. Thank you Mr. Delaney.
For anyone who was moved by this and is a fan of Rob, he was just on Marc Maron’ podcast talking about this for an hour and a half. It’s a really moving conversation.
Cheers for that. I must admit I have been a little reticent to take that talk on. The man's grief is so damned physical.
Not difficult to imagine, though, how the little one might have been a real champ. Good blokes, both.
Oh, thank you so much. I am going to search for that podcast right now.
thank you I'm going to listen! Big fan of Rob's. thx
Thank you. I will look for it
The Marc Maron interview broke me. Unbelieveby good and deep and moving.
There aren’t many people for whom I would listen to such a sad story all the way to the end. But I loved Catastrophe, and he was so brave to keep going with the show, and keep being funny, in the middle of so much heartbreak.
My brother also died on my mothers birthday. And I was grateful for your words about it. Other people often don`t understand that she does not want to celebrate her birthday any more. (He died 3 years ago). My father had also died of cancer a longer time ago. During this interview I liked how you were able to talk about it. My first language is not English, but it is always admirable to find words about grief and even though everybody grieves differently, I felt a connection. Thank you.
To me your mum feeling that makes so much sense. How can she celebrate on the day her child died. Sorry for your loss.
My condolences for your loss ❤️
Kudos on writing so well in English! Your grasp of the language appears to be better than most native speakers I meet. 😂
thanks for your heartfelt comment.
I had someone super close buried on my birthday and now, I hate and dread it. This poor man and family. 😭
The best ways to support someone on a grief journey is to listen, and to ask about the loved one that passed away. It is obvious that Stephen has gone through his own grief journey because when guests come on, who are in the midst of grieving, he listens and asks about the loved one they are missing. What a deeply moving "interview".
Yes, so true. We are already sad and heart broken. I love talking about my daughter Dakota. I feel a bit cheered when friends or family talk about her. She died in 2018.
@@yogawitherinbmy daughter taught dance to a lovely girl who died Tuesday from brain cancer she battled for 5 years. She was an amazing young girl, just 13 y.o. Having girls myself, I cry for her parents.
@@FreedomofSpeech865 thank you. The pain is hard to deal with .
And of course, Stephen Colbert did go through a huge set of losses that he's spoken publicly about on multiple occasions and this interviewee alludes to quickly at 7:06 in the middle of the interview here. Stephen was very close with his mother all his life and she lost three of her children before her death (Stephen's brothers), 2 while they were still children although not as young as Rob's son.
It's such an amazing thing to witness his deep understanding. 💜
I am grateful that he mentioned the loneliness and isolation of grief. I was widowed at 43 and no one in my circle of friends, co-workers, even the people at my church could comprehend that aspect of grief. It has been 22 years and it's taken a long time for those feelings to subside.
im sorry, Jeanine..., sometimes it must feel like it was yesterday. Know that he is there. Talk to him.
You will never forget.
Continue to be gentle with yourself. Sending you positive vibes from Iowa. ❤
Im so sorry for your loss
I really appreciate that Stephen just knows how to have a conversation about loss and grief, which is really evident by his asking about Henry and who he was. I’ve experienced profound grief after losing my dad at a young age and all I wanted to do was talk about my father to other people… not just talk about my loss and his death. I just wanted to tell stories about him and be reminded of the life we had together instead of just talking about his death.
Exactly. When I lost my brother I was only five years old. When I would break out in tears people would tell me to stop, that I needed to forget, but what I needed was to remember him. At night I would cry myself to sleep and even then when something would happen that reminded me of him I would start crying. No one could ever figure out why. I even started to weep on stage in a Christmas play in first grade. Something about the story of Mary and Joseph touched my heart and I thought of Bobby. His name. Seaman 1class US Navt Robert C Ghann 1943😔⚓️
Stephen lost his dad and two brothers who were closest in age to him when he was 10 - I expect that had given him insight into the discussion of grief
@Gordon Akers Mary and Joseph? That's not a touching story, it's a really creepy story but sorry for your loss
That is one constant thought, constant worry, and preoccupation that I had when my mother passed - that being a late born only child, there would be no one else who would know her stories like I did, and no one to listen to those stories of her life. I replayed those conversations again and again in my mind.
What a beautiful Interview. As a father, who has lost a child, it touches me deeply.
im so, so sorry, Tobias. May you feel his love and his spirit in you and around you.
❤❤❤
I’m sorry for your loss.
Your strength is so inspiring ❤
I'm so, so sorry for your loss.
I'm so, so sorry this happened to you and your family, Rob. 😭
Rest in peace little man.
Thanks, LSSC for allowing this man his moment of grace and for letting his son live again if for even a few more moments in our minds.
Rob Delaney describes his child so beautifully...had me in tears. A mixture of joy, love and sadness.
As a father who also lost a child, I cannot imagine the strength it took to speak so eloquently and powerfully about such a devastating experience. Love is stronger than death
Yes so true. So sorry for your loss
i am so very sorry for your loss.
Came here to watch the extended interview because I could tell how important this interview was for Stephen and Rob, I wanted to see more. Truly touching.
Wow! Had me crying throughout the entire interview. May your precious son continue to RIP 🙏
Same. I don’t even have children.
Stephen is unequivocally our most empathetic, generous, compassionate host… a privilege to experience… 🫶🏻 🌻 🖖🏼
I have an 8 year old daughter and listening to him makes appreciate fatherhood even more (if that’s even possible) No parent should have to bury their own child 🥺
Stephen: I lost my husband, Adriaan, to cancer 2 years ago. The sadness is unimaginable. The only time that i have a moment of guaranteed laughter is watching your show.
But today, after watching your interview with mr. Delaney, I saw how much you can give to those of us that are hurting from unspent love. Thank you for talking about grief. It is not as ugly as it seems. It is just a lot of love that needs to be shared. Your best comment on this interview was " tell me about him (Henry)". Thank you for asking that question because that brought Henry to life.
You are a gift to this world Stephen. Thank you.
Hugs sent for your heart, Elle
"uspent love" wow never thought about that way, what nice way to give grief a new word...sory for your lost!
Came here to say the same thing.
A little bit of empathy goes a long way.
Anytime I hear Stephen discuss loss and grief I feel like my heart gets a bit bigger.
After living through the grief of a loved one, regardless of age, brain tumors are very tough on families, good on you for writing.
My niece died of brain cancer just before her ninth birthday. No one in my family will ever be the same. Kudos to this man for carrying on. ❤
There is no way to be the same. Losing a child is a life experience of learning, grief, pain, growth, understanding and love. We are all changed by the deaths of our children.
One of the best interviews you have ever done Stephen. My deepest condolences Rob, to you and your family.
The immense compassion in this interview. Stephen teaching us how to speak with people who've experienced great loss. Takes one to understand one. Thank you both for this Beautiful moment.
Completely agree. This made me shed a few tears to witness but my main feeling was how this was such a beautiful expression of wisdom and of love...
As someone the same age as Stephen, I especially appreciate when he interviews someone about grief. He does such a beautiful job. Simply beautiful.
We lost my nephew at 2 months old. The hardest part was explaining to his sisters why he was sick and why he died. (SMA 2 was the diagnosis) This happened close to 20 years ago and my incredible nieces (and their father/my brother) celebrate his birthday. It was as terrible as Rob Delaney says- you feel so separate from others.
What a stunningly heartbreaking interview. To Rob Delaney and his family--I weep for you. To Stephen Colbert--thank you for this uninterrupted moment of pure humanity.
Just finished watching your interview with Steve Colbert my heart goes out to you my man may God bless you and your family. Thank you for your courage
Stunning interview! Lost a niece at age five. It’s devastating for the parents and siblings. Don’t be afraid to talk about this child. It’s important to the parents to know their child hasn’t been forgotten.
Yes, so true
I commend him for being strong enough to use his son's death to heal and help so many other people who are going through heartache. God bless him.
I listened to this while driving home from work to my three healthy kids. Had a tear in my eye. Respect to the man, his family, and his message. I also share a taste for baby ears… and cheeks.
Thanks Rob for letting us remember your son I won't forget his face or his spirit you expressed .....blessings cuz💙💫
I have literally never commented on a video in 10 years of viewing… couldn’t be bothered. Thank you for giving Rob the opportunity to tell this story… for all of us.
If you've ever seen Rob on UK TV, you already know how hilarious and kind he is.
Love him on Frankie Boyles show. He's a talent
How we complain about miniscule crap in our everyday lives...no matter what's happening in my life, as long as my children are healthy and happy, that's all that matters. The gratitude I have for my 3 children is overwhelming!
I lost my son many years ago and it changes you. Rob understand as do I how you feel removed from everyone around you. You heal eventually but the anger you feel gets aimed at people who are callous and heartless in general which is difficult in the troll world we live in. You find your way back with gratitude and love.
Yes, so true. So sorry for your loss. Xx
this is so beautiful. as mom to a severely disabled child I could relate to so much of what he said about that feeling of isolation and that gap you feel between you and the rest of the world. I'm so deeply touched by his story and his beautiful articulation of what it's like to go through this. The photo of him with his precious boy leaves me in tears.
Sorry to hear that. I hope you can find connection with the world in some way even if it's merely spiritual or during small moments.
@@ellie-tk4jy I have - very much so. Thank you ❤Its been 23 years. Its so hard in the beginning . Now it feels like nothing other than a miraculous blessing ✨
I'm not a parent but I do understand grief from losing my mother suddenly as a young adult. It is very hard to explain to those who haven't experienced it. Losing one's child must be exponentially harder than what even I, my 21, 19 and 12 year old siblings experienced. Amazing interview. Thank you Rob and Stephen.
Rob has been very much adopted here in the UK. Sadly we were able to follow this heartbreaking time as it happened because Rob was doing TV, chat shows and he wrote a column in the Guardian. I remember the day that he had to announce his son's death....I wept.
We love you and your family Rob.
But he actually managed to communicate so coherently and with such love and humour, which is so amazing considering the circumstances. I think it helped a lot of people who couldn’t express what they’d gone through or were going through and he’s been such a great advocate for the NHS, whilst it is facing its biggest threat.
Rob has managed to get every tiny bit of good out of something so desperately sad by tackling so openly the subject of grief, of the different stages and types of grief, dealing with the grief of his kids, his own, how his mental health was affected and how as a family they are finding their way through this to live without Henry’s physical presence, but never forgetting about him and the love they all had for him and he had for them.
It is so much better to allow those grieving to talk about the person they’ve lost if they want to. When some American friends of mine lost their baby some years ago, none of their friends would mention the child, I think being afraid of upsetting them, but they needed to talk about it, when they were ready, needed to talk about their fears for the future, what they’d lost, their concerns for each other, how separate they felt from the rest of humanity at that point and they couldn’t afford extensive therapy. I finally got a chance to visit them at home (transatlantic trip so you know, took a while) it was a few years later and they’d had another child and the baby photos and footprints etc of both babies were in a frame on the wall and I asked which child was which, naming both kids, and she burst into tears and I was horrified that I’d really upset her and was very apologetic, as you would be, then she said, no I’m emotional but it’s good: no one ever says her name except us and it really nice to hear it and hear her acknowledged.
They had gone over 3 years and no one except the two of them had mentioned the baby and her name in their house - only at the therapist’s office, doctors office etc. Close family had in the first couple of weeks after the loss, but not since.
Hopefully, Rob Delaney’s generosity sharing his experience and the compassionate interviews from Stephen Colbert and others (there have been several over the years here in the UK) will help people to lose their fear of the bereaved and understand that even an emotional conversation comes with love and laughter from the life lost.
A beautiful interview to listen to and a lovely remembrance of Henry.
I'm from the UK as well. I've been a fan. Stephen Colbert for several years but only discovered Rob Delaney since his son has died. Rob is a wonderful person and one of the millions of immigrants that contribute to making this country a better place
I hope he doesn't leave because we will need more immigrants like him and the thousands of others that work in our NHS, which Rob has become a great supporter of while our government tries to tear it apart.
Thank you for giving Rob the air time and the space to speak so lovingly and freely about a difficult subject. It's a human thing that we are not fully equipped to experience. When you are; you just do. We carry on because we must. Love endures and comforts and it still hurts. It's all ok.
Thank you
I’ve been watching a lot of his interviews, and the way he talks about Henry, and his love for him is so painfully beautiful. Making the best of something so horrible and doing so with vulnerability, is awe inspiring.
Oh, my heart. This man is so sweet talking about his little son. What a special person. Loss is so heartbreaking but he’s radiating love.
Rob's words echo in my soul. I lost my husband of 12 years, suddenly six days before Christmas 2015. Grief was all those things and more. You become a member of a very awful club when you lose someone like that. The similes and metaphors you have to describe what you're feeling fall so short of the actual truth. It is isolating. Even amongst friends and loved ones, you feel so alone. The good news is the light eventually returns and the grief subsides--but it never goes away--it is there always, on the periphery of your consciousness a background hum in the daily minutes of your life. It remains a silver thread woven into the fabric of your life.
My cousin passed away unexpectedly at 28 years old. My aunt, her mother, passed away a few years ago. I think a lot about the grief she must have felt, especially now, dealing with my own significant loss. I’m glad you had him on the show and I’m looking forward to learning more from him. Grief is so isolating and alienating. Anything that can help us better understand each other is a gift.
Going through the unimaginable, then coming back to share the lessons: that's The Hero's Journey.
Thank You, Sir.
I find it astonishing that he manages to be so upbeat when talking about something so deeply sad and painful, and I find it very bittersweet that he's so free in his demeanor, because you can tell it comes from a place of pain
What an absolutely gorgeous interview. Rob's willingness to be raw without deflecting whatsoever is so powerful.
Thank you Rob for putting this terrible thing in a way to understand and absorb.I lost my wife Gloria right before our 43rd anniversary and I never imagined I would have to go on without her.I continue and get strength from 2 daughters and remembering all the fun Gloria & I had.I wrote this a long time ago from my strongest memory about a camping trip.
On a summer night in the midnight light of the moon dancing in your eyes,
you touched my lips with your magic kiss,frozen here in time.
You're so right Rob,you can't heal if you can't embrace the good.Bill Conwell
I will always remember the wail my grandmother made at my uncle’s funeral. It is a pain I would not wish on my greatest enemy. I can’t imagine the strength of character it takes to transform that pain into the love that Rob has.
Yes,i can imagine..it is out of order of how we think life should be..no parent should have to bury their child
When I was 21 I attended the funeral of my friend’s 16 year old sister who had committed suicide. The sound that came from Shannon’s mother when the funeral director told her that it was time to close the casket is something that I will never forget. I couldn’t wish that sort of grief on anyone.
Wow, this is how parents should feel about their children, always. As someone who grew up with parents who didn't give a $hit about me, I can only imagine how it must feel to be so loved as Rob loved his son.
I didn't know this side of Rob, what a huge amount of pain to deal with. his comedy on frankies new world order is brilliant. One of my favourite guests.
I love you guys for featuring this story! I am a bereaved mother who is fighting to live the rest of my life without my beautiful son, Paolo. His sisters and I want to make him proud. There is just something about hearing other people’s stories about their experiences with child loss that helps me to feel like I can do “this”. “This” being existing in this world that no longer seems real after losing someone you love more than the air you breathe, all the stars in the sky and beyond all existence.
Oh my god. My heart just completely broke. I’m so sorry, Rob.
Mr. Colbert, you just made the better part of an hour talking about the economy and a dead child into something heartwarming and engaging. You're master of your craft. Bravo.
Thank you so much for sharing your family’s experience Rob 🙏 Henry is so lucky to have a dad who is able to keep his memory alive. ❤
Thank you Rob & Stephen. The interview was handled so sensitively with empathy & humor. Blessings & thanks.💙
Not a parent....but this just breaks my heart...
As a teenager I used to watch the Colbert Report religiously. Then in 2010 when I was 16, my best friend was killed in a plane accident that also killed her grandfather (the pilot), her sister, and her cousin. My sister found a way to get in touch with one of Colbert's producers and he ended up writing me a handwritten letter. It was one of the most meaningful gifts I was given in that painful time of my life and I always appreciate these interviews about grief knowing Colbert too has experienced deep grief and can also share that experience with others so poignantly and humanly.
What an incredible story. Thank you for sharing and I’m so sorry for your loss. ❤
Heartbreaking and beautiful. Thank you Mr Delaney for sharing your grief. Henry will always be with you in every beautiful thing in this world. 🤗🌞🌈
This is the best interview I've seen in a long time. Now I want his book. Love Rob and his family
Is a remarkable thing to see a man tell such a beautiful and yet tragic story.
I have an 18 month old daughter and like many parents I feel compassion appreciation and love for him and his family. And most of all gratitude for his incredible fortitude and strength to put into words his hellish experience and how he has lived afterwards with love throughout all of this.
He had me crying the entire ride home. And as soon as I got in my home I held my baby daughter and kiss her thanking god for her and all children and for all the parents who loose a child. May he have us all in his glory. No parent should buried their children.
Please put her ears in your mouth.
I feel so close to this man. He speaks at a such a basic human level, I virtually hug him and his family. Thanks for his effort and his book.
I remember an interview where he talks about the way their youngest son now asks questions about his deceased older brother and I can only imagine that that is a small piece of healing to be able to have the 'story of our son' now be partly translated into the simple curiosity of a child.
And yet I hope people also know that even though he had more children, that didn't replace Henry. It is tempting to say as a way to bring "comfort" or consolation, but it stings. I pray that people learn what not to say.
@@ritabosico3328 And, (sigh) yet, I hope you are not implying that anyone was saying their 4th son (who was already on the way when Henry died) was a 'replacement'.
Cos that would be a really dickish thing to imply. Wouldn't it.
Omg i couldn’t imagine the pain, I can feel him missing his son. This was an incredible interview.
Rob has actually read a bedtime story on cbeebies in Henry's honour and he also told the story using Makaton. There's a moment during the story where you can see Rob's emotions and I know alot of children who use Makaton to communicate loved his story that night.
Are there any two men more capable of talking about loss and grace? I'm crying.
The way that Stephen handles this subject matter with Rob is incredible. that’s why he’s the best
Rob's transparency and positivity are inspiring. That terrible experience taught him so much that we can learn about ourselves.
My condolences to Rob Delaney at his heartbreaking loss of his precious child Henry🙏
"What was he like?" may be the best interview question ever.
This interview made me cry and feel a lot. In the oddest way it made me want to have children, something I'm generally against. They genuine joy he still has for his son is wonderful and heartbreaking.
Stephen has this amazing ability to not interrupt his guests and just listen. And it's so important. Rest in peace, Henry.
😢 The fact he feels like he has been plucked from the rest of humanity because he lost a child … Is similar to the way how we feel, not being able to procreate. For some weird reason, that feeling is necessary. Without reason. Yet necessary.
Thanks to Stephen for not shying away from such interviews!
My cousin lost her daughter ar 12 and she just gave up on life and died at an early age as bad h e husband was never the same.. sad. I miss them all
Can you... disable the ads on this one? I bet Wayfair makes a great sofa, but it is a bit jarring to have that interrupt a father talking about the amorphous, immaterial shape of grief.
UA-cam inserts ads wherever they want, unless you do something about it. Hint, hint.
Yes, please do not seek out money where it would not be appropriate. I know that is a difficult task for owners of vacation homes but the rest of society implores you to be human.
Why not pay youtube 10 $ / mo
I hate these effing ads
Capitalism doesn’t care that you are sad.
Brilliant interview of a man who suffered unimaginable loss. The order of questions was just right, and I loved that the interview ended with Delaney sharing beautiful and poignant memories of his son.
Such a civilised, intelligent and funny gentleman
What a beautiful interview.
Sincerely , i can see the pain behind the smile, GL for your book Rob xx
Strong man to be able to talk through that without breaking down, but also showing it's a loss that merits breaking down. It is hard to grieve in our society, and therefore hard to heal.
😥Omg. I just cried my face off. What an amazing baby. RIP little guy.
I buried my Dad and my Aunt on my birthday and also never celebrate my birthday anymore. There are a couple other things too because I lost my brother and sister, too and I don't celebrate the days we found out and buried them. All were 2 years apart. I can't imagine the pain Rob has to endure. Thankfully, my son's are still alive.
What a heartbreaking story ...I'm so glad he shared his story to help anyone dealing with such profound loss
I was not prepared to even hear this interview. I instantly imagined me and my 3 going through this…. Freaking emotions.
Wow.... havent had a cry like this in months. Thanks for sharing, Rob.
Hope everyone finds peace in whatever pain they are going through
I absolutely adore the way that Stephen Colbert interviews his guests. He's so much more in touch with peoples feelings than most other interviews are - big respect.
I was so hoping that Rob would make a stop to see Stephen. The conversations he has had with Anderson Cooper and Andrew Garfield about grief were so lovely and heartwarming, so I knew this conversation would be wonderful too.
And with Molly Shannon.
@@JP-lu9ed agreed. I knew I had missed someone, but I couldn't remember. Thank you.
Just lost my niece so have been listening to Anderson Cooper’s podcast series on grief which is also quite good. There’s nuggets of wisdom in each of them. Agree that it was good to hear Rob talk to Stephen.
My beautiful Buddha of a husband, Barry Eugene Nelson, died 25 years ago this April. I appreciate Mr Delaney’s use of the words dying and death, as that was what the grief group, Our House, recommended saying rather than lost or passed. I also appreciate Mr Delaney saying he and his wife didn’t want their son to die on his brother’s birthday. I was happy for Barry’s parents, Bill and Jackie Nelson, that my son by my now ex husband wasn’t born on Barry’s birthday and waited a good six days. Blessings and love.
Rob always has been and remains an all round top bloke. Amazes me how he can talk like this and not dissolve. What a dude.
My daughter died 10 yrs ago after 5 yrs fighting cancer. I watched her take her last breath. . I miss her every day.still sad. But joy and happiness is finally back, and love of life. Every night before I go to sleep, I say "goodnite sweetie,I love you" ❤️
I’m sure she is sending ❤back to you. Gentle hugs from Iowa.
How brave of him and his wife to go through that, and still remain positive. I can't even begin to imagine.
Deep grief such as his and his wife's never leaves you. It gets into your cells and becomes a part of you. You can talk about it, but as Rob said, it's just words. Words are not enough. This is part of his therapy: the book and trying to explain to others and gain their understanding of his pain. It's his way of attempting to work through his denial and get his life back on track. I wish him and his wife much luck. Their hearts and souls are forever scarred. Acceptance isn't coming to them in the way they hope it will. They may feel that they've accepted their grief and trauma, but their lives will always have that dark shadow of loss looming over them both.
It gets into your cells and becomes a part of you
So so true. A beautiful way to say it 💔
I Love Rob! So honest, sensitive and HILARIOUS…….. I wish he was around on more shows and movies. He deserves it and we need people like him around! ✨
Amazingly honest and impactful.
I don't have children, but I cried reading every page of this book. I cannot recommend it highly enough. 💙