It’s really amazing how much what men are allowed to be and look like and interact with each other has changed in the 30 years I’ve been alive. It’s really beautiful to see two people interact so thoughtfully.
Two real men who come at the world from such different places in so many ways and yet can seek to understand and support each other. I am inspired and encouraged in ways i never imagined were possible
I think they would laugh at the ‘real men’ distinction you are referring to. It is a platitude. When life becomes real like this, it leaves you no room for anything less then honesty or else you would lose your mind. Yes, it is brave to share this on TV, but it is necessitated by the urgency it has in their lives. You are actually not taking down the ‘real men’ fallacy like this, just spinning it around. Men who can’t open up are very much real as well. It is not all about culture and role models. These two are lucky that they have the skills to verbalise their loss, it is either that or getting consumed by your experiences. Men who can’t find the words to express themselves are not any less than those who can. They just need more help. And sometimes men don’t need that many words, they just need action, which is fine as well. To each his own.
I watched my twin brother die from cancer and I couldn’t help him. I always remember him saying to me “ I would rather be standing here where I am , than where you are. This must be impossible for you”. The must loving and generous thing anybody has ever said to me. Laters bro x
Thankyou for sharing Barry. What a great brother you had and a great brother you are. Lost my brother to suicide. I firmly believe that we will all be reunited with out loved ones.
This is what I've always said about having companion animals. So many people say they'll never adopt another animal because it hurts so much when you lose them. But that's the price we pay for unconditional love.
Ouch.... I'm not kidding...I felt that quote to my damn bones... Lost my older brother then my mom a month later at the end of 2020...TMI, but I had to explain why I felt as such
I lost my dad when I was 5 and my fiancé when he and I were 24. This conversation is so beautiful and I appreciate it so much. I love Stephen’s faith though I don’t share it. And I love both men’s perspective and emotional honesty.
@@mmsizzlak I'm so sorry to hear of your loss I needed to tell u we are in the same boat I lost my mom 7 months ago and my older brother 3 days ago I often come here to hear them speak again about grief I feel so alone in it and I don't know how to even articulate the feeling of absolute lonlieness from loosing these two amazing people I so desperately loved and needed in my life how are you holding up I hope you find peace and know u are not alone
But that isn't that much of an anomaly now is it. Take the same line of defense in say someone talking about atheism on a Sunday church and say a group of family members trying to convert an atheist. The same argument of say you are making me uncomfortable and my belief system does not sit right with this would carry different weights, right
@@ArihantChawla I don't think they're proposing it's a strong logical argument; just that it's one view that at least doesn't pretend to know more than it does.
I am a Christian and I also love how he talks about religion. There is uncertainty. It’s like love; it’s a decision and an action, not a feeling and not necessarily logical.
He is a Sunday School Teacher, Can you imagine being a kid going to Sunday School with Mr Colbert and then figuring out later that he is one of the biggest stars in the country?
Wow. I am a therapist. I just witnessed therapy between these 2 men and I’m grateful. Stephen is one of the most complete human beings I have the pleasure of following.
My mother uttered these very words to me when dad died. She was angry, lost and had misplaced her anger at me. If you ever watched the movie "The Quiet Man" with John Wayne and Maureen O'Sullivan you would get a picture of my dad. I told my mom life doesn't stop for any of us. She stared blankly at me for a moment and cried. When she died in my arms 8 years later I reassured her my siblings and I would be Ok to carry on both their legacy of values and commitments. And we have 11 years later and counting....
What you said reminds me of a very old song . I do t know the name something like “ Don’t they know it’s the end of the world it ended when you said good bye.”
i cannot remember how many times i have replayed that part of the conversation ... i react the same. it was the look when he said it, as if suddenly recognizing and suddenly putting into words something he just realized he knew all along. humility and compassion. i wish i had a better word to say that ...
I was so touched by how Stephen chose his words so carefully toward the end of the conversation so that what he said would maybe offer help and comfort to Anderson in his grief.
His time taking care of his mother obviously informs who he is now. He clearly felt a responsibility to comfort Anderson and bring him some peace. What a lovely man.
I lost my mom this summer. I could so identify. My father passed 15 years ago after a 30 year battle with Heart Disease. It was constant stress on the family since I was 10 years old so I could sort of identify with both of them. There was my life before my dad got sick and after. My carefree innocence was gone. I now knew bad things could happen. My mother had lost her best friend to cancer the year before so I was terrified he would die, too. I remember trying to be good so that God wouldn't take him away. Also, when Stephen talked about how his mom's death brought up the old feelings from his dad and brothers' deaths that totally struck a chord with me. The grief from my father's death came rushing back and it was so shocking for me because I thought that I had gotten past that but it was like it just happened. When he said that I was so surprised. It kinda made me laugh to myself. I thought 'See you're really not all that unique!'
@@kirstib1 True...I lost my mother when I was 16....she was only 34......I am a 57 year old man and it still haunts me on her birthday, Christmas, etc....actually even just randomly.........this was a beautiful conversation between two of my favorites!
Love both of these guys. Not sure how I even came across this tonight, guess I was meant to find it. I lost my 21 years young daughter in June of 2017. She was killed in a collision as a pedestrian on her way to her college classes. We used to watch Last Week Tonight with John Oliver and sometimes Stephen's Late Show. She had voted for the first time in 2016 and was shocked like millions of other Americans in the outcome. Sometimes the truth hurts, yet we have to remember to laugh once in a while, otherwise we would surely cry. We also shared a love of Tolkien's Lord of the Rings. I know she would appreciate his comment. He started a quote that is one of my favorites and is a good one to remind me that life is a gift. The full quote is from The Fellowship of the Ring when Gandalf and Frodo sit on a stone in a cave and have a heart to heart. The Fellowship are waiting for Gandalf to remember the way through the Caves of Moria. Frodo says, "... I wish none of this had happened." Gandalf replies, "So do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”
Lynne Hoyt I’m so terribly sorry for the loss of your beloved daughter.... 💔🙏🏾✨ May she Rest In Peace always, I’ve lost four adopted aunts and a close friend in the last year. On top of that, three years ago was my grandmother and my father. I’ve certainly known loss and still struggle with grief & deep sadness. Somedays the waves of grief his me all at once...🥀🙏🏾😢 Thank you so much for mentioning the famous quote adding amazing quote from The Lord Of The Rings, I’ll remember that “line” when I revisit the film. #GriefHurts ✨
There are 2 groups of ppl: Those who experienced loss. And, those who have not experienced loss _yet_ There is a proverb: *There is wisdom in the house of Sorrow* I'm sorry your wisdom has come at such a great price. I hope you have a belief system that comforts you in your times of sorrow.
This conversation between two adult men about grief is so highly unusual. Rarely do we get to see men talk with such vulnerability and honesty about how they feel. Hearing this conversation is a gift. To me. Many thanks to Stephen and Anderson.
“For me losing my dad then changed the trajectory of my life. I’m a different person then I feel I was meant to be.” That is the most profoundly accurate quote to ever explain the way I felt about losing my mother at age 17.
I can't imagine. I lost my dad at 33 and my mother 18 months later. Even though I was happily married with a beautiful young daughter, I was devastated-for years.
I lost my mom to cancer a few years ago when I was 23, and one of my best friends and fellow lab mates that I got my masters with 2 years later in a motorcycle accident when I was 25. And I agree. Its almost impossible to brace for the impact.
a friend, who didn’t know about my loss, sent me this video 3 years ago. this line stopped me dead in my tracks, it so accurately described the immensity of parental loss as a young person. 3 years later i’m revisiting this video and i’ve never forgotten that line
@@MiniM69 I would absolutely agree that those things, albeit in some cases broadly defined, are gifts. I think if I had to come up with a reason why they could be viewed as punishments (not necessarily in the sense of an intetional harm caused in retaliation for wrong but in the sense of a negative consequence) it would be that loss is always possible, often unpredictable, and universally inevitable. I've thought a lot about what Stephen said with respect to the Buddhist tradition and it has a ring of truth to it. Pleasure is the genesis of pain in that in its absence we remember what we once had and yearn for its return, often in vain. Love is a gift, but the price we pay for it is grief if and when those we love leave us. To avoid getting too depressing, I have to say that in the Buddhist tradition, this makes the cost of "worldly pleasure" not worth paying. But I would argue that as a wise man once said, "it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all". Just because the things that bring us joy have the potential to cause us pain does not mean that that joy is invalidated.
Having experienced a dad dying when I was twelve and being the closest to my mom for her entire life, this conversation addressed so many of my experiences. Also, I now love and respect Stephen Colbert and Anderson Cooper all the more. Thank you so much for uploading such a wonderful, honest and human conversation about loss. This made my day!
When I was 17, I moved to New York and after six months failed into a pile of addictions. Your mother gave me four $50 bills. I'd been her waiter. That money got me home to Texas where I survived.
He’s so very intelligent and articulate and compassionate. And I love how he wears his faith so elegantly. He speaks about it but doesn’t force it. I would LOVE FOR HIM to write a book on his faith...
But you are entirely the person you are meant to be - Stephen said in response. If humans had scars for those mental pains, we would all be covered in them. "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle"
At 13:13 it gets me every time. It's rare to see the subject of an interview be there for the person who is interviewing them. And that's exactly what happens here. Colbert does his best to reassure Cooper that life, however tough and complicated, is a beautiful gift with just one word. I go back to this conversation usually twice a year or so. Lost my dad at 22 and I identified a lot with the things Colbert spoke of. Just a beautiful conversation between two guys who've lost a lot and hopefully people who need to see this will see it.
That moment when Anderson asked him with such sincerity “Do you really believe that?”… this ceased to be an interview and became 2 men having a deep and genuine conversation about how they have chosen to deal with their respective (yet very similar) forms of grief. This was truly beautiful.
It’s one of the most powerful moments I’ve ever seen. I so desperately wish I had Stephen’s faith. What a gift to hear it and see it so utterly in just one word. I cherish this conversation.
I felt the incredible, palpable loss of two 10 year old boys wrapped up in the bodies of men. I had a lump in my throat and tears in the corner of my eyes throughout this interview. The grief is still fresh in Anderson Cooper and my heart aches for him.
I C yes and the conversation was needed to help us see different point of view but in an imperfect way. Positive view is always needed at a point of your grief because of the memory of your family.
After this interview....AC actually regained a "bounce in his step." It's visible on his nightly show. Colbert showed him much grace. It helped me, too.
We buried my brother yesterday. Saw a youtube video this morning talking about this interview. Came here to watch. I'm a atheist and envy Stephen Colbert's faith. I hope to be able to emulate his generous and kind spirit.
"You have to love and accept the world God has given us, because what is the option." As a fellow Catholic I think hearing Stephen does more for my faith than a year at mass.
Stephen Colbert has done more to help me reconcile with the death of my Catholic father and reawakened my faith. He gives a voice to the moderates which I think gets drowned out by fundamentalists far too much.
The essence of being a true follower of Christ is finding peace and acceptance in the midst of the suffering because you love and trust God THAT much. That kind of faith transcends simple human reasoning because at the surface, it doesn't make sense.
I have listened and listened to this discussion. It is beautiful ; to suffer is to be alive. The sacrifice of suffering is part of the life lived with intention.
WHAT? President Trump is the our leader, HOW DARE YOU? DONALD TRUMP is a very good ENTERTAINER for, uh, I am sorry, I forget what I was talking about, I will go tan now : {
Two good men who have suffered great loss, great tragedy and discuss grief modeling it for the rest of us. may they know that this conversation is a blessing to all who grieve.
Please, Anderson, don’t say you’re not the person you were ‘meant to be’. You’re the wonderful person you made of yourself and your life experience - there’s no one else you should be ❤️
It seemed to be Colberts gift to Anderson who is deep in his grief and loss. Colbert is saying it will always remain and define u, but u can be happy again one day and continue on making them proud for all uve overcome.
I see this conversation at least 4 times a year my mother died 8 years ago , which also took my dad just at 70 dropped dead of a heart attack both my brothers died from suicide , they both had real problems and thought life living wasn’t worth it , so I’m the last person alive in my immediate family Colbert helps me a lot and I have had therapy spoke to a pysch dr I mean I know the drill my middle brother died in 1990 my youngest brother died 3 years ago was 59 I do believe what Colbert is telling Anderson What I find hard it the being alone part although I do have a cousin in Oregon I visit 4 times a year , life is a gift it’s given to you , you must care for it , give a damn about your life value it , I am grateful for the therapy I got I knew that would be my only way out of not destroying myself. Grateful to Colbert and Cooper they have lost a lot, the conversation is a great great gift.
@@cynthiahusband106 i am so sorry for ur loss. I too get so much comfort from watching this video every few weeks. I too hate being alone, the last one left in the family, its scary to think about. But maybe we should proud thay we r still here. Not just throw in the towel but live a full life honoring our loved ones who passed. I wish this was easy
I was just mid panic attack due to the grief I am currently experiencing, and this video just so happened to be in my recommended. It calmed me down and gave me a new perspective on the situation. Very thankful for these two men and the courage it took to share this conversation
Keep it saved for when you need it again. There is so much wisdom and truth in this conversation that is comforting because it is being said- not to help the other person feel better - but because they dared to go back to their 10 year old selves and feel.
It's over a year later for me and it still rocks me. Mom had cancer for most of a decade, told us she was going into hospice less than 2 weeks before Thanksgiving, and passed the day after Thanksgiving last year very unexpectedly. We were planning out how to say goodbye and suddenly she was gone. It helps seeing how these two men deal with and discuss their grief. I feel like it's a healthy example to aspire to that is not minimalistic or dismissive.
I was in my mum’s bedroom when she opened a letter to say her husband, my dad, had died in a truck crash in New Zealand. It was 1967 and I was 12. Well before the internet and even popularity of phones. I lived with the tears of my mother when she cried and held me to her saying “I’ll find us another house son”. Two years ago, aged 66 I learned that my father had not died until 2000 when I was 45. I was not angry, nor sad…merely numb. My mother died in November 2004 never knowing he was alive. Not angry, nor sad, merely numb.
I'm so sorry you experienced such a lie from a loved one. I have read of others having a similar experience, so you aren't alone. I hope that is comforting, even though it's also sad. Being numb, or any other feeling you have toward it is valid. Process in your own time. Perhaps you may find this trite, but I'll write it anyway - his loss. I hope you find peace.
this is one of the most raw convos between two icons i've ever heard. I lost my mom and older brother within a month of each other. This is therapy....
Hey Ann. Reading these comments, it wasn’t until I found yours, that I thought I was the only one who was struck by that. It upsets me to know how many either have little or no empathy in this world, so I’m always struck when I find it. Peace
this is absolutely what happened for me. i lost someone when i was a child and the way no one noticed made me realise everyone is going through something we just don’t see it
I wanted to reach into the screen and hug both men. Then I would have sat them down at my table and baked them a pie, served them coffee and made sure they felt that another human cared about their loss.
Eight people have given this a "thumbs down," -evidence that no matter who you are or what you do, some people won't like you. I lost my mom last month. It was devestating. Thank you for your honestly and vulnerability.
Lisa McNiel : Sincerest Condolences on the passing of your Mom. Other than losing a child of your own, the loss of your Mother, will be the hardest grief to live with for the rest of our existence. My mom passed on over 10 years, and I am still raw.
I’m sorry for your loss Lisa. I lost my mom the eve before Thanksgiving in 2015. In this age of Social Media, there is such a rise in judgemental behavior. Live your life for you, not anyone else. It’s your journey, and the path is sprinkled with all the gifts you will need.
There’s part of me that is a bit embarrassed that this interview is so important to me. But I find this conversation between two big television stars so deeply inspiring and it profoundly changed my way of thinking. I couldn’t possibly identify a more important moment in television history in my personal experience. For so long I harbored so much anger about my mother’s slow demise from Alzheimer’s and her ultimate death. The unfairness and pain that surrounded it was unbearable. The humility and love expressed in this conversation is, for me, amplified by the celebrity status of these two people, because it has absolutely nothing to do with the reason they’re celebrities. It functions in a way that is totally humanizing. I am endlessly thankful for this clip and I come back to it often.
Don't be embarrassed. I am exactly the same way and I send this to people who have recently lost someone close to them. I lost my grandfather to cancer when i was 10, i watched him wither away and I was there the moment he died in the hospital - my father was not in my life so my grandfather WAS my father. I cannot relate to the two of these men more in this interview. My life is measured before he passed and after, and I always wonder who i would have been if I had not lost him when i did
Maybe Im not understanding what your saying or Im totally off with this response? Its a good interview Im realizing these two dudes are not like most celebrities which is nice to know. I dont feel that their loss is anymore important or more relevant than my loss or anyone else. It hurts all the same although our experiences are all different, some had to watch the decline of our loved one for a very long time going through it with them in our own way of course watching this happen to them, not being able to do anything to make it better or make it stop and make them better. We all of course deal with it in our own ways . No loss is more significant than another's because of who they are or what they do , it is a loss that was very important in ones life who was very loved and made us complete! What is special is that they talked about their grief in a way that a celebrity has ever done so and they did it in a most heart felt a relatable manner a natural and nurturing kind and compassionate manner indeed. Truly sorry for your loss pray that you will find peace and comfort knowing your mother was well taken care of by you and you did what your Mom needed you to do , that was being there for her, caring for her, loving her, assisting her.
“Not thinking that anything is important.” I totally and completely get this. I was a single mom for 15 years. I didn’t date because I didn’t want to drag men in and out of my daughter’s life. She died in a car accident her senior year, when a pickup swerved into her lane, hitting her car head on. All of a sudden, everything that seemed important before became meaningless. I wrote a play, “One Breath at a Time,” because I was compelled to share my grief and let other people know that they are not alone, and that they can survive the devastation. One step at a time, one breath at a time and keep reaching for the light.
Please, Anderson, don’t say you’re not the person you were ‘meant to be’. You’re the wonderful person you made of yourself and your life experience - there’s no one else you should be ❤️
Tragedy as one therapist put it has a way of clipping your wings and you have to learn how to navigate life a different way. I’m sure that if Anderson Cooper’s father did not die at such a young age Anderson Cooper’s path would have been different.
I almost felt like I was eavesdropping on a very personal conversation. How very brave of both of these extraordinary men to share such profound grief and thoughts. Thank you.
Thank you all for your condolences. Everyone has to find his own way of coping. For my part, I am very grateful for my choice to believe that death is not the end of our story. God bless you, kind, compassionate folks.
This struck me, not as an interview, but as a profound conversation between friends. They both seemed intent on being cathartic to each other as they processed their grief together. There were several very moving moments and it was obvious they were both making a genuine connection, something I'm not sure I've ever seen in an interview. I've recommended this to several people in my family who are fans of both these men. I have even more respect for them both now and I wish them and anyone dealing with grief all the love and support they need to cope with their losses.
“I had a friend who lost someone recently, who lost a child, and she said how did your mother do this? And I said I wish she was here to tell you” God that hit me hard
My dad died in 1971 when I was 16 and what Stephen and Anderson were talking about was just so poignant and beautiful. Thank you for posting this video.
I’ve been grieving my grandmother for years and have avoided this video until today. I think she made me click on it. I’ve cried and smiled and nodded so many times. To those who have lost someone dear - you are not alone.
My mother lost her dad at 9. It was the single worst thing of her life. And that grief and who she became will be felt for generations. My grandmother was shattered by the loss of her husband. And she didn’t become “alive” until we the grandkids came along. I still feel the grief through. And I miss her so much.
I'm glad someone sent me this. Having lost my dad at 9 yrs old. Well that's bad enough, I feel the worst was there was no family outside of my mother to help pick up the slack. No siblings, no aunts oruncles that ever got involved. My father only had one sibling, my mom had six brothers and sisters and her family. And very little support before and after my dad's passing. So pretty much all my life I figured they were very few people that I could relate to regarding this type of family matter. So this is actually quite uplifting for me to hear them talking about this.
I lost my dad at 19. I’m now 52, not many days go by that I don’t think about his death and him. It forever changed me. However I also understand the gift. My compassion and strength for others is only there because of my grief. Thanks...my two favourite people on tv. ❤️🇨🇦
Beautiful conversation. One of my favorite moments was when they wished grief would show as a visible scar as they still think about their loved ones even forty plus years after they’ve passed. I lost my mother only four years ago, and there’s not a day I don’t think of her. Lately my thoughts are striving harder and harder to be more positive, thinking of her as an inspiration in wanting to honor her memory through everything I do to the best of my abilities. But there are still those days more often than not that my heart still breaks to the painful nostalgia of missing her. Those days I too wish the scar was visible just for someone to notice and give me the embrace I miss from her... 😢
Your post hit me in my heart. I lost my mom 22 years ago, and I'd give anything to have one more hug, one more conversation with her. It changed me when she died, much like Anderson said in this video. Anytime a friend complains about their mom, about how she's driving them crazy or is too meddlesome, I tell them never to take her for granted, because one day she'll be gone, and you'll be sorry you missed even one opportunity to just be loved by her. Hugs to you.
This week will be the 5 year without my father and my life is divided to a before and after. I live between grief and memory between wishing and missing. I feel my father with me in hundreds of ways but miss him always. I am really sorry for your loss. I hope you find some solace in knowing we all share the precious memories of our hearts with you now. Blessed be friend.
Honoring my parents and remembering my relationships with them keeps me going forward. They were both so damaged from their own childhoods, I can now find compassion and love for them. Keep breathing and keep going forward. We carry our scars deep in our hearts and souls. I know that I am a more compassionate person because of them.
He's actually the first believer that I fully respect and get where he's coming from. Even though I'm an atheist and I view things differently, I still understand what he's saying and given his background, it makes sense for him. He's very well spoken, learned, polite amd seems to be a nice, honest guy. Thanks for the upload. I only knew him from his show and this put a depth to him that I didn't know existed. And having studied buddhism quite extensively, I think he sounds quite buddhist at times, especially what he says about suffering.
That’s because the things in his beliefs are originally parables that tell the same truths as Buddhism. They’re unfortunately just been corroded by institutions that have adopted it - the benefit of Buddhism is that this cannot be the case due to its decentralisation.
Those 25 seconds between 13:00 and 13:25 were some of the most heartbreaking, sincere, raw moments I've seen captured on video. Thank you both for your honesty, your humanity, and your courage.
For all the crap that is going on about Catholic priests and church cover-ups; Stephen Colbert IMHO is a breath of fresh air and a shining light displaying what true FAITH, not religion; truly means. I think he would have been an excellent priest. (Selfishly I am glad he did not).
He's got the difference between religion and faith really clear in his head, as he is a guy who openly talks about his beliefs and remains in this position regardless of the infamous things catholic leaders do. I myself consider religion to be an institution that somehow has managed to control society's behaviour. Faith has nothing to do with it cause it goes way beyond human deeds
I think I was meant to find this today. During the pandemic my dog was a huge comfort during quarantine. I had to put him to sleep this summer due to the horrible lymphoma ravaging his body. While his liver was failing and he was hemorrhaging internally he would still cuddle with me on the couch while we watched Steven Colbert. Last year I was spoiling my dog on his 'birthday' not knowing of what was to come. Real men, real people acknowledge and feel their grief. Prayers for everyone that is feeling grief in any form these days.
13:00 to 15:30 is the most beautiful 2 and a half minutes of anything I’ve ever watched. What a beautiful and profound description of grief. I hope Stephen has some idea of just how many people he’s touched; he is truly one of a kind.
2024 and enjoyed this real talk. Direct and honest. It’s hard to find the right words and it’s hard to overcome grief and with the pot of mix emotions. Everyone in this world should be more open about talking about this. Thank you for sharing your life!
People don't want to bring up the dead because they're afraid they will upset you. But it can make you feel isolated, and alone in your grief. It's something I've experienced myself... I love the fact that Stephen discussed it : You are thinking about them all the time anyway.
@@vaughngaminghd es yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes My father died when I was 17 and I needed to talk about him and no one would. Then my mother died when I was 42 and again, no one talked about her. Then both my sister and my best friend both died when I was 60............same thing. It has been past 5 years now and I feel very much alone. Thanks for allowing me to share my thoughts.
@@1224even I feel like it's hard to ask about each others grief because it's so personal. I lost my mother rather suddenly over a year ago, and part of me is glad people don't ask while another is sad I can't brag about how amazing she was. I wish we felt more comfortable talking about loss with each other.
My brother and only sibling died in 2020. In a year that was so polarizing I learned an important thing, grief is universal. We are more the same than we are different. I also found that grief can make us MORE of who we were meant to be if we let it. The trick is to not gets stuck in it and to learn and grow and crazily enough even let the beauty in you and all you see blossom from it.
Lost my father, with him up till the moment. My question 3 years later is still....how do you get unstuck from it, how do you fill the void or loose the guilt from survivors remorse?
Lost my brother in 2020 as the lockdowns prevented him from going to his addiction meetings and he relapsed. Spent 2+ years cleaning up his life and living for himself. Rekindled his relationship with his pre-teen son months before the world shut down and he relapsed. When Stephen mentions all he thinks about every day is his family member he lost, no truer words have ever been spoken. I spent months and months being upset and pissed off for the years I’ve been robbed of having a relationship with the “clean” version of my brother. When I came across this interview, Stephen changed the way I process and think of my brother. I now can smile and be grateful… ❤️
i initially watched this interview the day after my mom’s sudden death. it brought me such relief and comfort. i felt like i wasn’t alone in my suffering. since then, ive watched it consistently every month since july 2020. i hope it makes others feels comforted too.
I'm so glad I stumbled upon this. I've struggled the past 6 years since my husband, mom and dad died. I helped all three of them die. We were very close. I love them very much and miss them. I want to feel grateful they were in my life and I am, for now, I am still more sad than grateful though.
My dad died from lung cancer when I was 10 years old in 1995. EVERYTHING changed from November 14th 1995, from that day forth, I was a different boy (later man).
I lost my 54 year old husband four months ago. It’s hard to go out and act normal. No body knows what I am going through. I can’t stop thinking about him and I wish I could learn how to live again. This is a beautiful interview and it helps to know I’m not alone.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I know I’m a stranger but I really mean that. I too take great comfort in this conversation because I find it very compelling that these two big celebrities are humbled by the same things we all face and I find their humility deeply relatable. I come back to it often. I hope it helps you too. I wish you peace.
4 months is too soon to expect anything of yourself. You have to get through your year of "firsts." It's hard to see the world going on as if nothing had happened when your world has been turned upside down. In time the pain eases and you are able to live again
I had not seen this whole thing. Such a powerful interview. First - What an incredible point by Anderson, “I sometimes wish I had a scar…” Wow. That’s amazing insight into the world of grief. Second - I don’t believe God gives the “punishments” (as Colbert said). But I do believe God will give gifts out of the suffering. As Paul said… God works through ALL things for good.
I loved this interview, so tender. Both of these men have had great losses and great love. I am so grateful to having watched it and yes, identified with it and deeply so.
My dad is still physically alive, but when I was 7 he was abducted by Hezbollah and forced to operate at the frontlines of the Lebanese Civil War (my dad's a surgeon). Five weeks later a man was returned to us who looked just like my dad, who had all the memories of my dad, who in every shape and form was supposed to have been my dad; except, this was a man so traumatized by that experience that he was not the same person he was before. Instead of a protective and fun-loving guy there was a loud and ultraviolent man. Everything that made dad dad - was gone. So in the most fundamental sense, I also lost my father at that point. And I also lost a part of myself. Interestingly, a few years ago I read that school-age children can reveal a lot about their home-life through what subjects they excel or suck in: If they have a good relation with their dad, their maths and sciences soar; if a bad relation, the grades on those subjects drop. If they're good at languages and literature then they have a good relation with their mom; if they suck, conversely. And in hind-sight, I went from being the top student in my class in maths to being the worst after Hezbollah released my dad. So yeah, I lost my dad when I was 7.
Thanks for submitting this. We never think of unique situations such as this. War is so horrible. It changes people and has ripple effects. I wish you peace, and I wish also for you that your dad can receive healing even at this later stage in his life.
Maxime Prometheas so sorry for “your” lost. In many ways, I think your pain is worse because many people don’t know or can’t understand how you feel and think that you should be grateful for the shell of your dad returning home.
It's impossible to listen to this interview without drawing parallels to my own life and people. I feel so connected to both these men. This conversation is such a gift. They talk a lot about vulnerability and I'm grateful to them both for allowing themselves to be vulnerable in front of all of us.
I used to not like both of them but now I see them differently. Anyone who goes through great loss and continues on with a smile is a genuinely strong human. Much respect to anyone who chooses to continue to work hard and survive.
I come back to this interview about once or twice a year when I'm deep within grief, and it never fails to inspire me. This conversation has profound depth and soul.
Minute 13 in this conversation is so powerful.... Wow this is one of the most inspirational conversations I have ever seen on the internet..... To be honest I have a love hate relationship for Stephen Colbert but this conversation with Anderson Cooper shows me how people can have different opinions and beliefs but grief is universal and something we all experience and relate to.....God bless Stephen and Anderson.
my 18 yr old brother died when i was 9 years old. they feelings and experiences they describe while they were a child themselves at the time is very relatable. the world looks different when you grow up into adulthood with that particular pain and loss.
Grief is love with nowhere to go.
mrthebillman that’s beautiful!
Perfect. Thank you.
What a beautiful quote. I'm going to remember this for the future. Thank you.
No. Grief is love that swims around for a while.. until its toes touch bottom once more. At least, that's what i'm hoping.
I wish I had come up with that myself. I want to use it in my story!
Men don’t talk to each other like this as often as they should.
There would be a lot less toxic masculinity in society if they did.
Exactly
jezebel324 I’ve never had a conversation with another guy like this but I don’t see an issue with doing it.
you don't know men
Because this are real man talking, there aren't that many now days, now everything is alcohol and nonsense
This is what “real” men look like. The epitome of courage.
Well spoken.
It’s really amazing how much what men are allowed to be and look like and interact with each other has changed in the 30 years I’ve been alive. It’s really beautiful to see two people interact so thoughtfully.
Two real men who come at the world from such different places in so many ways and yet can seek to understand and support each other. I am inspired and encouraged in ways i never imagined were possible
yeah, these dudes were hella brave. thank you.
I think they would laugh at the ‘real men’ distinction you are referring to. It is a platitude. When life becomes real like this, it leaves you no room for anything less then honesty or else you would lose your mind. Yes, it is brave to share this on TV, but it is necessitated by the urgency it has in their lives. You are actually not taking down the ‘real men’ fallacy like this, just spinning it around. Men who can’t open up are very much real as well. It is not all about culture and role models. These two are lucky that they have the skills to verbalise their loss, it is either that or getting consumed by your experiences. Men who can’t find the words to express themselves are not any less than those who can. They just need more help. And sometimes men don’t need that many words, they just need action, which is fine as well. To each his own.
I watched my twin brother die from cancer and I couldn’t help him. I always remember him saying to me “ I would rather be standing here where I am , than where you are. This must be impossible for you”. The must loving and generous thing anybody has ever said to me. Laters bro x
That is beautiful but also heartbreaking. I am very sorry for your loss. I hope you can find some peace
@@No44778 I am so very, very sorry.
Sorry for your loss Barry 🙏🏻
Your brother was wise. I'm so sorry to hear of your loss, but know a random guy on the internet is giving you his best and also crying a bit. ❤
Thankyou for sharing Barry. What a great brother you had and a great brother you are. Lost my brother to suicide. I firmly believe that we will all be reunited with out loved ones.
"Being grieved so deeply in death is the price one pays for being loved so much in life."
This is what I've always said about having companion animals. So many people say they'll never adopt another animal because it hurts so much when you lose them. But that's the price we pay for unconditional love.
"The pain I feel now is the happiness I had before. That's the deal.” -C.S. Lewis
Jack Anderson thank you🙏❤️
Wow incredible quote blew me away thank you for quoting this it's literally made me have chills
Ouch.... I'm not kidding...I felt that quote to my damn bones... Lost my older brother then my mom a month later at the end of 2020...TMI, but I had to explain why I felt as such
I lost my dad when I was 5 and my fiancé when he and I were 24. This conversation is so beautiful and I appreciate it so much. I love Stephen’s faith though I don’t share it. And I love both men’s perspective and emotional honesty.
@@mmsizzlak I'm so sorry to hear of your loss I needed to tell u we are in the same boat I lost my mom 7 months ago and my older brother 3 days ago I often come here to hear them speak again about grief I feel so alone in it and I don't know how to even articulate the feeling of absolute lonlieness from loosing these two amazing people I so desperately loved and needed in my life how are you holding up I hope you find peace and know u are not alone
I’m an atheist and I love how Colbert talks about religion. Accepts the uncertainties and relies on his faith. Plus he quotes Gandalf.
And that is a encouraging thought.
But that isn't that much of an anomaly now is it. Take the same line of defense in say someone talking about atheism on a Sunday church and say a group of family members trying to convert an atheist. The same argument of say you are making me uncomfortable and my belief system does not sit right with this would carry different weights, right
@@ArihantChawla I don't think they're proposing it's a strong logical argument; just that it's one view that at least doesn't pretend to know more than it does.
I am a Christian and I also love how he talks about religion. There is uncertainty. It’s like love; it’s a decision and an action, not a feeling and not necessarily logical.
He is a Sunday School Teacher,
Can you imagine being a kid going to Sunday School with Mr Colbert and then figuring out later that he is one of the biggest stars in the country?
Wow. I am a therapist. I just witnessed therapy between these 2 men and I’m grateful. Stephen is one of the most complete human beings I have the pleasure of following.
Thank you for this amazing comment.
And bless you for helping others one on one.
Thank You for answering to your vocation. I can tell you that I have Peace, therapy helps and works.
Fellow therapist here. This was cathartic.
Wow, so true. And, not just therapy between these 2 men but for me also.
"It is a gift to exist. With existence comes suffering"
- Stephen Colbert
I needed to hear this today
@LinusBBQ I like hearing it... but I think I need a long, long while to understand it
And there is certainly a lot of suffering in life....
yes, the day my father died, the world became absurd. I didn't understand why everything didn't crumble because this great man died
The fact that life goes on angered me after my dad died.
My mother uttered these very words to me when dad died. She was angry, lost and had misplaced her anger at me. If you ever watched the movie "The Quiet Man" with John Wayne and Maureen O'Sullivan you would get a picture of my dad.
I told my mom life doesn't stop for any of us. She stared blankly at me for a moment and cried. When she died in my arms 8 years later I reassured her my siblings and I would be Ok to carry on both their legacy of values and commitments. And we have 11 years later and counting....
What you said reminds me of a very old song . I do t know the name something like “ Don’t they know it’s the end of the world it ended when you said good bye.”
I was lucky enough to run into Colbert on the street and tell him how beautiful and touching this interview was, he is a beautiful soul
That's wonderful!
Aaronaleal I have a friend who’s mother knows him and I have heard only really good things about him. That’s he’s a genuine good guy
May i ask what his reaction was?
They both are!
I heard someone say, “Find a partner who looks at you like Stephen looks at his wife, Evie…pure devotion.”
Colbert's single "yes" left me in tears. The most sincere thing I have heard a celebrity say in a long time.
Cooper seemed surprised by his answer. Why do we grieve?. What is the meaning to suffering?
Agreed. Mectoo
@@drghdrgh1140 You ask great questions... but i truly think your own heart's answers are as good as anyone's.
i cannot remember how many times i have replayed that part of the conversation ... i react the same. it was the look when he said it, as if suddenly recognizing and suddenly putting into words something he just realized he knew all along. humility and compassion. i wish i had a better word to say that ...
Towards the beginning?
Colbert is truly a cut above the rest.
He sure is.
way above - I love him.
I absolutely adore him
Biggest compliment you can give a lost loved one is to continue to live your life.
"There isn't another timeline, and this is it, and the bravest thing you can do is to accept with gratitude the world as it is." -- Stephen Colbert
I was so touched by how Stephen chose his words so carefully toward the end of the conversation so that what he said would maybe offer help and comfort to Anderson in his grief.
@Anne Liesveld this is the absolute truth.
His time taking care of his mother obviously informs who he is now. He clearly felt a responsibility to comfort Anderson and bring him some peace. What a lovely man.
Yes. He so obviously is trying not to be condescending as he teaches. I love how he is so humble.
13:05 I started crying when I heard Anderson's voice crack because you know he's still hurting deeply missing his mom.
Not just his mom; he lost his brother and father to suicide years ago; it's a wonder he is functional.
I lost my mom this summer. I could so identify. My father passed 15 years ago after a 30 year battle with Heart Disease. It was constant stress on the family since I was 10 years old so I could sort of identify with both of them. There was my life before my dad got sick and after. My carefree innocence was gone. I now knew bad things could happen. My mother had lost her best friend to cancer the year before so I was terrified he would die, too. I remember trying to be good so that God wouldn't take him away. Also, when Stephen talked about how his mom's death brought up the old feelings from his dad and brothers' deaths that totally struck a chord with me. The grief from my father's death came rushing back and it was so shocking for me because I thought that I had gotten past that but it was like it just happened. When he said that I was so surprised. It kinda made me laugh to myself. I thought 'See you're really not all that unique!'
The loss of your mom is an ache that never goes away...
Omg... yes that part was soo powerful
@@kirstib1 True...I lost my mother when I was 16....she was only 34......I am a 57 year old man and it still haunts me on her birthday, Christmas, etc....actually even just randomly.........this was a beautiful conversation between two of my favorites!
Love both of these guys. Not sure how I even came across this tonight, guess I was meant to find it. I lost my 21 years young daughter in June of 2017. She was killed in a collision as a pedestrian on her way to her college classes. We used to watch Last Week Tonight with John Oliver and sometimes Stephen's Late Show. She had voted for the first time in 2016 and was shocked like millions of other Americans in the outcome. Sometimes the truth hurts, yet we have to remember to laugh once in a while, otherwise we would surely cry.
We also shared a love of Tolkien's Lord of the Rings. I know she would appreciate his comment. He started a quote that is one of my favorites and is a good one to remind me that life is a gift. The full quote is from The Fellowship of the Ring when Gandalf and Frodo sit on a stone in a cave and have a heart to heart. The Fellowship are waiting for Gandalf to remember the way through the Caves of Moria.
Frodo says, "... I wish none of this had happened." Gandalf replies, "So do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”
Lynne Hoyt I’m so terribly sorry for the loss of your beloved daughter.... 💔🙏🏾✨ May she Rest In Peace always, I’ve lost four adopted aunts and a close friend in the last year. On top of that, three years ago was my grandmother and my father. I’ve certainly known loss and still struggle with grief & deep sadness. Somedays the waves of grief his me all at once...🥀🙏🏾😢 Thank you so much for mentioning the famous quote adding amazing quote from The Lord Of The Rings, I’ll remember that “line” when I revisit the film. #GriefHurts ✨
I'm so, so sorry, Lynne. Thank you for sharing this memory with us. I love that quote.
There are 2 groups of ppl: Those who experienced loss. And, those who have not experienced loss _yet_ There is a proverb: *There is wisdom in the house of Sorrow* I'm sorry your wisdom has come at such a great price. I hope you have a belief system that comforts you in your times of sorrow.
@@allme2547 That was beautiful.
I am so sorry to hear of your loss
This conversation between two adult men about grief is so highly unusual. Rarely do we get to see men talk with such vulnerability and honesty about how they feel. Hearing this conversation is a gift. To me. Many thanks to Stephen and Anderson.
“For me losing my dad then changed the trajectory of my life. I’m a different person then I feel I was meant to be.” That is the most profoundly accurate quote to ever explain the way I felt about losing my mother at age 17.
sending you love ❤️
I came here to leave literally this exact same comment, my mom also died when i was 17
I can't imagine. I lost my dad at 33 and my mother 18 months later. Even though I was happily married with a beautiful young daughter, I was devastated-for years.
I lost my mom to cancer a few years ago when I was 23, and one of my best friends and fellow lab mates that I got my masters with 2 years later in a motorcycle accident when I was 25. And I agree. Its almost impossible to brace for the impact.
a friend, who didn’t know about my loss, sent me this video 3 years ago. this line stopped me dead in my tracks, it so accurately described the immensity of parental loss as a young person. 3 years later i’m revisiting this video and i’ve never forgotten that line
"What punishments of God are not gifts?" That blew my mind... and I'm agnostic.
You could also turn that around to the exact opposite: "What gifts of God are not punishments?"
Quotenwagnerianer Love, passion, purpose, living as Christ would have, faith, family
@@Quotenwagnerianer True. That is life.
@@MiniM69 I would absolutely agree that those things, albeit in some cases broadly defined, are gifts. I think if I had to come up with a reason why they could be viewed as punishments (not necessarily in the sense of an intetional harm caused in retaliation for wrong but in the sense of a negative consequence) it would be that loss is always possible, often unpredictable, and universally inevitable. I've thought a lot about what Stephen said with respect to the Buddhist tradition and it has a ring of truth to it. Pleasure is the genesis of pain in that in its absence we remember what we once had and yearn for its return, often in vain. Love is a gift, but the price we pay for it is grief if and when those we love leave us.
To avoid getting too depressing, I have to say that in the Buddhist tradition, this makes the cost of "worldly pleasure" not worth paying. But I would argue that as a wise man once said, "it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all". Just because the things that bring us joy have the potential to cause us pain does not mean that that joy is invalidated.
TheLatinGQ cut me deep
It went from an interview to a raw conversation/therapy session for both men.
One of the most beautiful conversations I’ve ever had the honor of listening in to.
Well put that is how I felt
It was so beautiful; it’s made appreciate both of them so much more.
Exactly. So compelling.
Having experienced a dad dying when I was twelve and being the closest to my mom for her entire life, this conversation addressed so many of my experiences. Also, I now love and respect Stephen Colbert and Anderson Cooper all the more. Thank you so much for uploading such a wonderful, honest and human conversation about loss. This made my day!
I've watched this many times
When I was 17, I moved to New York and after six months failed into a pile of addictions. Your mother gave me four $50 bills. I'd been her waiter. That money got me home to Texas where I survived.
Such a small world, this is.
Thank you for sharing.
Men don’t talk to each other like this as often as they should.
I love that
Wow!
"She knows what it's like to lose a child. " I have NEVER looked at it that way. Wow
Yeah I never looked at it that way before either. Definitely makes you think.
Stephen Colbert is a brilliant mind from every angle.
He’s so very intelligent and articulate and compassionate. And I love how he wears his faith so elegantly. He speaks about it but doesn’t force it. I would LOVE FOR HIM to write a book on his faith...
"I'm a different person than I feel like I was meant to be"
Wow.
Hit hard.
He is who he is because we don’t have another Anderson Cooper. He is such an amazing man and father, I adore him!
I love Stephen but this interview showed me how similar I am to Anderson. He said many things I've been feeling all my life.
Same.
I think the beauty lies in how relatable it seems
My parents died within five months of each other with cancer...I was 12. I grew up with uncertainty. Love this conversation.
Kendra Lucas Sorry.. Almost lost my parents at 12. The anxiety is the worst.
❤
Kendra Lucas s🌹🌹💗💗💗
❤️
I just wanna hug you!
Wow. New compassion for both of these guys. I agree with Anderson- “I wish I had a scar so people could see I’m not the person I could have been.”
But you are entirely the person you are meant to be - Stephen said in response.
If humans had scars for those mental pains, we would all be covered in them.
"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle"
At 13:13 it gets me every time. It's rare to see the subject of an interview be there for the person who is interviewing them. And that's exactly what happens here. Colbert does his best to reassure Cooper that life, however tough and complicated, is a beautiful gift with just one word. I go back to this conversation usually twice a year or so. Lost my dad at 22 and I identified a lot with the things Colbert spoke of. Just a beautiful conversation between two guys who've lost a lot and hopefully people who need to see this will see it.
Wow what a lovey take and beautiful use of grief, to better serve others. Thank you for pointing out
That moment when Anderson asked him with such sincerity “Do you really believe that?”… this ceased to be an interview and became 2 men having a deep and genuine conversation about how they have chosen to deal with their respective (yet very similar) forms of grief. This was truly beautiful.
It’s one of the most powerful moments I’ve ever seen. I so desperately wish I had Stephen’s faith. What a gift to hear it and see it so utterly in just one word. I cherish this conversation.
I felt the incredible, palpable loss of two 10 year old boys wrapped up in the bodies of men. I had a lump in my throat and tears in the corner of my eyes throughout this interview. The grief is still fresh in Anderson Cooper and my heart aches for him.
I C yes and the conversation was needed to help us see different point of view but in an imperfect way. Positive view is always needed at a point of your grief because of the memory of your family.
Bruh that was poetry
I legitimately thought you were quoting a book for a second there. What a powerful line.
After this interview....AC actually regained a "bounce in his step." It's visible on his nightly show. Colbert showed him much grace. It helped me, too.
"Grief is the price we pay for love." - Queen Elizabeth II, after 9/11
So true.
We buried my brother yesterday. Saw a youtube video this morning talking about this interview. Came here to watch. I'm a atheist and envy Stephen Colbert's faith. I hope to be able to emulate his generous and kind spirit.
"You have to love and accept the world God has given us, because what is the option." As a fellow Catholic I think hearing Stephen does more for my faith than a year at mass.
Stephen Colbert has done more to help me reconcile with the death of my Catholic father and reawakened my faith. He gives a voice to the moderates which I think gets drowned out by fundamentalists far too much.
The essence of being a true follower of Christ is finding peace and acceptance in the midst of the suffering because you love and trust God THAT much. That kind of faith transcends simple human reasoning because at the surface, it doesn't make sense.
I have listened and listened to this discussion. It is beautiful ; to suffer is to be alive. The sacrifice of suffering is part of the life lived with intention.
I love Stephen Colbert ❤️❤️❤️ his honesty, his faith, his humility. It's a shame we can only have entertainers like him, but not leaders.
Wow, well said my friend
I think Obama was as human and sensitive as one can be
WHAT? President Trump is the our leader, HOW DARE YOU? DONALD TRUMP is a very good ENTERTAINER for, uh, I am sorry, I forget what I was talking about, I will go tan now : {
NoaLives79 very well said. But we can have entertainers as leaders, just not like him.
We have Jimmy Carter.
One of the best most sincere interviews I have ever seen. It is an example of what good journalism can be.
...because it's an example of good humanity.
Two good men who have suffered great loss, great tragedy and discuss grief modeling it for the rest of us. may they know that this conversation is a blessing to all who grieve.
Please, Anderson, don’t say you’re not the person you were ‘meant to be’. You’re the wonderful person you made of yourself and your life experience - there’s no one else you should be ❤️
“I feel like I’m a different person than I was meant to be.”
This brought tears to my eyes. So painfully true.
I think anyone who’s experienced trauma can relate to this…. 💔
This interview is a gift to humanity. The honesty and vulnerability between these two men is a beautiful thing.
At several points during this interview, I cried. What a tender, human, intimate conversation. How generous and brave they are to share it.
And it's amazing that we get to bear witness to it.
It seemed to be Colberts gift to Anderson who is deep in his grief and loss. Colbert is saying it will always remain and define u, but u can be happy again one day and continue on making them proud for all uve overcome.
I see this conversation at least 4 times a year my mother died 8 years ago , which also took my dad just at 70 dropped dead of a heart attack both my brothers died from suicide , they both had real problems and thought life living wasn’t worth it , so I’m the last person alive in my immediate family Colbert helps me a lot and I have had therapy spoke to a pysch dr I mean I know the drill my middle brother died in 1990 my youngest brother died 3 years ago was 59 I do believe what Colbert is telling Anderson What I find hard it the being alone part although I do have a cousin in Oregon I visit 4 times a year , life is a gift it’s given to you , you must care for it , give a damn about your life value it , I am grateful for the therapy I got I knew that would be my only way out of not destroying myself. Grateful to Colbert and Cooper they have lost a lot, the conversation is a great great gift.
@@cynthiahusband106 i am so sorry for ur loss. I too get so much comfort from watching this video every few weeks. I too hate being alone, the last one left in the family, its scary to think about. But maybe we should proud thay we r still here. Not just throw in the towel but live a full life honoring our loved ones who passed. I wish this was easy
I was just mid panic attack due to the grief I am currently experiencing, and this video just so happened to be in my recommended. It calmed me down and gave me a new perspective on the situation. Very thankful for these two men and the courage it took to share this conversation
Keep it saved for when you need it again. There is so much wisdom and truth in this conversation that is comforting because it is being said- not to help the other person feel better - but because they dared to go back to their 10 year old selves and feel.
I hope you're doing okay. I've got shit going on and this hit at the right time too. I wish you all the best.
Emma Smith same here
It's over a year later for me and it still rocks me. Mom had cancer for most of a decade, told us she was going into hospice less than 2 weeks before Thanksgiving, and passed the day after Thanksgiving last year very unexpectedly. We were planning out how to say goodbye and suddenly she was gone.
It helps seeing how these two men deal with and discuss their grief. I feel like it's a healthy example to aspire to that is not minimalistic or dismissive.
I genuinely hope you're alright
Both men, real, kind , compassionate, self aware, genuine and wonderful.
Colbert’s description of why his mother prays to Mary at 9:00 made me weep.
Same. Wasn't expecting that to hit me like it did.
So powerful.
He didn't say his mother prayed to Mary
Our Lady is Mary
@@moonmaiden1973 mmm, I had to search for it... 9:28 and there it is hehe
I was in my mum’s bedroom when she opened a letter to say her husband, my dad, had died in a truck crash in New Zealand. It was 1967 and I was 12. Well before the internet and even popularity of phones. I lived with the tears of my mother when she cried and held me to her saying “I’ll find us another house son”. Two years ago, aged 66 I learned that my father had not died until 2000 when I was 45. I was not angry, nor sad…merely numb. My mother died in November 2004 never knowing he was alive. Not angry, nor sad, merely numb.
I'm so sorry you experienced such a lie from a loved one. I have read of others having a similar experience, so you aren't alone. I hope that is comforting, even though it's also sad. Being numb, or any other feeling you have toward it is valid.
Process in your own time. Perhaps you may find this trite, but I'll write it anyway - his loss.
I hope you find peace.
Did you mother lie about your fathers death to make the ending of their relationship easier for you?
this is one of the most raw convos between two icons i've ever heard. I lost my mom and older brother within a month of each other. This is therapy....
One of the kind things Colbert said is that everyone is suffering, and his suffering made it possible for him to know that.
Hey Ann. Reading these comments, it wasn’t until I found yours, that I thought I was the only one who was struck by that. It upsets me to know how many either have little or no empathy in this world, so I’m always struck when I find it. Peace
this is absolutely what happened for me. i lost someone when i was a child and the way no one noticed made me realise everyone is going through something we just don’t see it
I wanted to reach into the screen and hug both men. Then I would have sat them down at my table and baked them a pie, served them coffee and made sure they felt that another human cared about their loss.
Fumiko Nobuoka that’s so sweet
Lovely
Yes! I just want to hug them and let them know it's okay. People do care.
I wish someone like you would invite me to their table. That was a lovely, completely human offer. It sounds nice.
Eight people have given this a "thumbs down," -evidence that no matter who you are or what you do, some people won't like you. I lost my mom last month. It was devestating. Thank you for your honestly and vulnerability.
I'm so sorry for your loss. You're blessed.
You are not alone just be thankful for what your mom has given you and she will always be alive in your heart.
Lisa McNiel : Sincerest Condolences on the passing of your Mom. Other than losing a child of your own, the loss of your Mother, will be the hardest grief to live with for the rest of our existence. My mom passed on over 10 years, and I am still raw.
I’m sorry for your loss Lisa. I lost my mom the eve before Thanksgiving in 2015. In this age of Social Media, there is such a rise in judgemental behavior. Live your life for you, not anyone else. It’s your journey, and the path is sprinkled with all the gifts you will need.
Lisa McNiel I’m so sorry for your loss.
There’s part of me that is a bit embarrassed that this interview is so important to me. But I find this conversation between two big television stars so deeply inspiring and it profoundly changed my way of thinking. I couldn’t possibly identify a more important moment in television history in my personal experience.
For so long I harbored so much anger about my mother’s slow demise from Alzheimer’s and her ultimate death. The unfairness and pain that surrounded it was unbearable.
The humility and love expressed in this conversation is, for me, amplified by the celebrity status of these two people, because it has absolutely nothing to do with the reason they’re celebrities. It functions in a way that is totally humanizing. I am endlessly thankful for this clip and I come back to it often.
No need to be embarrassed. This conversation is between two humans, about human experiences. It means a lot to me too.
Don't be embarrassed. I am exactly the same way and I send this to people who have recently lost someone close to them. I lost my grandfather to cancer when i was 10, i watched him wither away and I was there the moment he died in the hospital - my father was not in my life so my grandfather WAS my father. I cannot relate to the two of these men more in this interview. My life is measured before he passed and after, and I always wonder who i would have been if I had not lost him when i did
Feel the same. Helped me so much
perfectly articulated what I feel but couldn't express myself, thank you for putting words to my thoughts.
Maybe Im not understanding what your saying or Im totally off with this response?
Its a good interview Im realizing these two dudes are not like most celebrities which is nice to know. I dont feel that their loss is anymore important or more relevant than my loss or anyone else. It hurts all the same although our experiences are all different, some had to watch the decline of our loved one for a very long time going through it with them in our own way of course watching this happen to them, not being able to do anything to make it better or make it stop and make them better. We all of course deal with it in our own ways . No loss is more significant than another's because of who they are or what they do , it is a loss that was very important in ones life who was very loved and made us complete!
What is special is that they talked about their grief in a way that a celebrity has ever done so and they did it in a most heart felt a relatable manner a natural and nurturing kind and compassionate manner indeed.
Truly sorry for your loss pray that you will find peace and comfort knowing your mother was well taken care of by you and you did what your Mom needed you to do , that was being there for her, caring for her, loving her, assisting her.
The pause break before he answers "Yes" is one of the most inspiring things I've ever seen
'it merely amplifies the enormity of the room whose door is so quietly shut' wow
And so many enormous rooms whose doors have closed. I can only be reminded by our limitless ability to love and care for others.
“Not thinking that anything is important.” I totally and completely get this. I was a single mom for 15 years. I didn’t date because I didn’t want to drag men in and out of my daughter’s life. She died in a car accident her senior year, when a pickup swerved into her lane, hitting her car head on. All of a sudden, everything that seemed important before became meaningless. I wrote a play, “One Breath at a Time,” because I was compelled to share my grief and let other people know that they are not alone, and that they can survive the devastation. One step at a time, one breath at a time and keep reaching for the light.
Gem Holt-Baker
You must be such a champion to still be moving forward after such devastation. I’m so very sorry for your horrible loss.
I am so sorry. I cannot imagine. I hope you are able to find purpose and joy after losing her.
I’m so sorry, mama.
I'm so sorry. I can't even imagine how devastating that must be.
I'm sorry for your loss. I'm sure your daughter would be so proud of how strong you've been 💛
Please, Anderson, don’t say you’re not the person you were ‘meant to be’. You’re the wonderful person you made of yourself and your life experience - there’s no one else you should be ❤️
Maria G. He only meant that his life was inevitably altered by the death of his family members so young.
Tragedy as one therapist put it has a way of clipping your wings and you have to learn how to navigate life a different way. I’m sure that if Anderson Cooper’s father did not die at such a young age Anderson Cooper’s path would have been different.
Our life experience is what made the person we are.
Everyone should watch this.
I almost felt like I was eavesdropping on a very personal conversation. How very brave of both of these extraordinary men to share such profound grief and thoughts. Thank you.
That is so well put… thank you
Thank you beautiful men. I lost my home and children to a fire 9 years ago and I so relate to what you say about grief.
WIDE AWAKE So sorry
I am also so sorry for your loss
I'm so sorry for your loss.
Truly very sorry for your loss.
Thank you all for your condolences. Everyone has to find his own way of coping. For my part, I am very grateful for my choice to believe that death is not the end of our story. God bless you, kind, compassionate folks.
This struck me, not as an interview, but as a profound conversation between friends. They both seemed intent on being cathartic to each other as they processed their grief together. There were several very moving moments and it was obvious they were both making a genuine connection, something I'm not sure I've ever seen in an interview. I've recommended this to several people in my family who are fans of both these men. I have even more respect for them both now and I wish them and anyone dealing with grief all the love and support they need to cope with their losses.
“I had a friend who lost someone recently, who lost a child, and she said how did your mother do this? And I said I wish she was here to tell you”
God that hit me hard
My dad died in 1971 when I was 16 and what Stephen and Anderson were talking about was just so poignant and beautiful. Thank you for posting this video.
I’ve been grieving my grandmother for years and have avoided this video until today. I think she made me click on it. I’ve cried and smiled and nodded so many times. To those who have lost someone dear - you are not alone.
Im sure your Grandmother chooses to be your Guardian Angel
😢
Me too ♥️
My mother lost her dad at 9. It was the single worst thing of her life. And that grief and who she became will be felt for generations. My grandmother was shattered by the loss of her husband. And she didn’t become “alive” until we the grandkids came along. I still feel the grief through. And I miss her so much.
I'm glad someone sent me this. Having lost my dad at 9 yrs old. Well that's bad enough, I feel the worst was there was no family outside of my mother to help pick up the slack. No siblings, no aunts oruncles that ever got involved. My father only had one sibling, my mom had six brothers and sisters and her family. And very little support before and after my dad's passing. So pretty much all my life I figured they were very few people that I could relate to regarding this type of family matter. So this is actually quite uplifting for me to hear them talking about this.
I lost my dad at 19. I’m now 52, not many days go by that I don’t think about his death and him. It forever changed me. However I also understand the gift. My compassion and strength for others is only there because of my grief. Thanks...my two favourite people on tv. ❤️🇨🇦
Shelley Vanelli I understand this
I agree. Many people claim they can be sympathetic/empathetic without personal grief. Maybe, but grief is definitely a starter kit.
Yep
Wow. Very proud of u, abt two years ago I lost my friend.
In one word: profound. Hard to believe a conversation of this depth was held on television, which is so often the loudest of platforms.
Beautiful conversation. One of my favorite moments was when they wished grief would show as a visible scar as they still think about their loved ones even forty plus years after they’ve passed. I lost my mother only four years ago, and there’s not a day I don’t think of her. Lately my thoughts are striving harder and harder to be more positive, thinking of her as an inspiration in wanting to honor her memory through everything I do to the best of my abilities. But there are still those days more often than not that my heart still breaks to the painful nostalgia of missing her. Those days I too wish the scar was visible just for someone to notice and give me the embrace I miss from her... 😢
shedskin01 your post was so beautiful! I’m so sorry for your loss.
Your post hit me in my heart. I lost my mom 22 years ago, and I'd give anything to have one more hug, one more conversation with her. It changed me when she died, much like Anderson said in this video. Anytime a friend complains about their mom, about how she's driving them crazy or is too meddlesome, I tell them never to take her for granted, because one day she'll be gone, and you'll be sorry you missed even one opportunity to just be loved by her. Hugs to you.
This week will be the 5 year without my father and my life is divided to a before and after. I live between grief and memory between wishing and missing. I feel my father with me in hundreds of ways but miss him always. I am really sorry for your loss. I hope you find some solace in knowing we all share the precious memories of our hearts with you now. Blessed be friend.
Honoring my parents and remembering my relationships with them keeps me going forward. They were both so damaged from their own childhoods, I can now find compassion and love for them. Keep breathing and keep going forward. We carry our scars deep in our hearts and souls. I know that I am a more compassionate person because of them.
This interview is a gift.
watching in 2024...appreciating these two beautiful individuals so much more 💜
I feel like Steven’s smile at Anderson before he says it’s a gift to exist, was one of love and understanding.
"...what punishments from God are not gifts..." Made a self-proclaimed atheist cry today. I didn't know I needed that.
We can all appreciate good words.
“You can’t pick and choose what you’re grateful for” oh gosh
Mind blown
Yes Megan, that got me! So many profound moment.
He's actually the first believer that I fully respect and get where he's coming from. Even though I'm an atheist and I view things differently, I still understand what he's saying and given his background, it makes sense for him. He's very well spoken, learned, polite amd seems to be a nice, honest guy. Thanks for the upload. I only knew him from his show and this put a depth to him that I didn't know existed.
And having studied buddhism quite extensively, I think he sounds quite buddhist at times, especially what he says about suffering.
That’s because the things in his beliefs are originally parables that tell the same truths as Buddhism. They’re unfortunately just been corroded by institutions that have adopted it - the benefit of Buddhism is that this cannot be the case due to its decentralisation.
These 21 minutes are worth more than a year in therapy or in church. It was great healing for Stephen and Anderson... and for me. Thank you.
It is a gift to exist. Thank you Stephen.
Those 25 seconds between 13:00 and 13:25 were some of the most heartbreaking, sincere, raw moments I've seen captured on video.
Thank you both for your honesty, your humanity, and your courage.
For all the crap that is going on about Catholic priests and church cover-ups; Stephen Colbert IMHO is a breath of fresh air and a shining light displaying what true FAITH, not religion; truly means. I think he would have been an excellent priest. (Selfishly I am glad he did not).
He's got the difference between religion and faith really clear in his head, as he is a guy who openly talks about his beliefs and remains in this position regardless of the infamous things catholic leaders do. I myself consider religion to be an institution that somehow has managed to control society's behaviour. Faith has nothing to do with it cause it goes way beyond human deeds
I think I was meant to find this today. During the pandemic my dog was a huge comfort during quarantine. I had to put him to sleep this summer due to the horrible lymphoma ravaging his body. While his liver was failing and he was hemorrhaging internally he would still cuddle with me on the couch while we watched Steven Colbert. Last year I was spoiling my dog on his 'birthday' not knowing of what was to come. Real men, real people acknowledge and feel their grief.
Prayers for everyone that is feeling grief in any form these days.
Honestly this is the realest interview I’ve seen on tv. It felt like the cameras weren’t even there.
Yes, exactly, it feels almost too intimate to watch their ocnversation on youtube.
I just love it when Stephen pauses before expressing his thought. Imagine the processing of raw emotions, and expressing it beautifully...
Anderson's voice was trembling when he spoke of his mother. May her rest in peace and God bless you two good, intelligent men.
This was the most extraordinary interview I've ever seen. Ever.
13:00 to 15:30 is the most beautiful 2 and a half minutes of anything I’ve ever watched. What a beautiful and profound description of grief. I hope Stephen has some idea of just how many people he’s touched; he is truly one of a kind.
2024 and enjoyed this real talk.
Direct and honest.
It’s hard to find the right words and it’s hard to overcome grief and with the pot of mix emotions.
Everyone in this world should be more open about talking about this.
Thank you for sharing your life!
“How come nobody’s asking me about Paul.” Wow
People don't want to bring up the dead because they're afraid they will upset you. But it can make you feel isolated, and alone in your grief. It's something I've experienced myself... I love the fact that Stephen discussed it : You are thinking about them all the time anyway.
@@vaughngaminghd es yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes My father died when I was 17 and I needed to talk about him and no one would. Then my mother died when I was 42 and again, no one talked about her. Then both my sister and my best friend both died when I was 60............same thing. It has been past 5 years now and I feel very much alone.
Thanks for allowing me to share my thoughts.
@@1224even I feel like it's hard to ask about each others grief because it's so personal. I lost my mother rather suddenly over a year ago, and part of me is glad people don't ask while another is sad I can't brag about how amazing she was. I wish we felt more comfortable talking about loss with each other.
I lost my only child 19 yrs ago. Intense grief sometimes still catches me and leaves me completely bereft .
❤
Grief is universal... I wish you well!
Ohhhh no… I’m so so sorry for your loss. Prayers
I wish Anderson and Stephen would read the comments. So many beautiful people telling their own stories.
You never know. They might be.
My brother and only sibling died in 2020. In a year that was so polarizing I learned an important thing, grief is universal. We are more the same than we are different. I also found that grief can make us MORE of who we were meant to be if we let it. The trick is to not gets stuck in it and to learn and grow and crazily enough even let the beauty in you and all you see blossom from it.
Lost my father, with him up till the moment. My question 3 years later is still....how do you get unstuck from it, how do you fill the void or loose the guilt from survivors remorse?
My brother also died in 2020. I hope things haven’t been to difficult I know how hard it is.. keep strong
Lost my brother in 2020 as the lockdowns prevented him from going to his addiction meetings and he relapsed. Spent 2+ years cleaning up his life and living for himself. Rekindled his relationship with his pre-teen son months before the world shut down and he relapsed. When Stephen mentions all he thinks about every day is his family member he lost, no truer words have ever been spoken. I spent months and months being upset and pissed off for the years I’ve been robbed of having a relationship with the “clean” version of my brother. When I came across this interview, Stephen changed the way I process and think of my brother. I now can smile and be grateful… ❤️
i initially watched this interview the day after my mom’s sudden death. it brought me such relief and comfort. i felt like i wasn’t alone in my suffering. since then, ive watched it consistently every month since july 2020. i hope it makes others feels comforted too.
❤ 🫂
I loved this interview. I think it was more helpful to Anderson than Stephen Colbert but it really helped me also.
I'm so glad I stumbled upon this. I've struggled the past 6 years since my husband, mom and dad died. I helped all three of them die. We were very close. I love them very much and miss them. I want to feel grateful they were in my life and I am, for now, I am still more sad than grateful though.
My dad died from lung cancer when I was 10 years old in 1995. EVERYTHING changed from November 14th 1995, from that day forth, I was a different boy (later man).
I lost my 54 year old husband four months ago. It’s hard to go out and act normal. No body knows what I am going through. I can’t stop thinking about him and I wish I could learn how to live again. This is a beautiful interview and it helps to know I’m not alone.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I know I’m a stranger but I really mean that. I too take great comfort in this conversation because I find it very compelling that these two big celebrities are humbled by the same things we all face and I find their humility deeply relatable. I come back to it often. I hope it helps you too. I wish you peace.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I hope you’re doing okay today. ❤
You are not alone. I'm so sorry you have to go through this xx
❤🙏
4 months is too soon to expect anything of yourself. You have to get through your year of "firsts." It's hard to see the world going on as if nothing had happened when your world has been turned upside down. In time the pain eases and you are able to live again
I had not seen this whole thing. Such a powerful interview.
First - What an incredible point by Anderson, “I sometimes wish I had a scar…” Wow. That’s amazing insight into the world of grief.
Second - I don’t believe God gives the “punishments” (as Colbert said). But I do believe God will give gifts out of the suffering. As Paul said… God works through ALL things for good.
I loved this interview, so tender. Both of these men have had great losses and great love. I am so grateful to having watched it and yes, identified with it and deeply so.
My little sister died in front of me when I was three. It definitely changed who I was and affected me my whole childhood and my life.
I'm sorry.
My dad is still physically alive, but when I was 7 he was abducted by Hezbollah and forced to operate at the frontlines of the Lebanese Civil War (my dad's a surgeon). Five weeks later a man was returned to us who looked just like my dad, who had all the memories of my dad, who in every shape and form was supposed to have been my dad; except, this was a man so traumatized by that experience that he was not the same person he was before. Instead of a protective and fun-loving guy there was a loud and ultraviolent man. Everything that made dad dad - was gone. So in the most fundamental sense, I also lost my father at that point. And I also lost a part of myself. Interestingly, a few years ago I read that school-age children can reveal a lot about their home-life through what subjects they excel or suck in: If they have a good relation with their dad, their maths and sciences soar; if a bad relation, the grades on those subjects drop. If they're good at languages and literature then they have a good relation with their mom; if they suck, conversely. And in hind-sight, I went from being the top student in my class in maths to being the worst after Hezbollah released my dad. So yeah, I lost my dad when I was 7.
Thanks for submitting this. We never think of unique situations such as this. War is so horrible. It changes people and has ripple effects. I wish you peace, and I wish also for you that your dad can receive healing even at this later stage in his life.
I'm so sorry for ur loss. Ur story wz heartbreaking.
Maxime Prometheas so sorry for “your” lost. In many ways, I think your pain is worse because many people don’t know or can’t understand how you feel and think that you should be grateful for the shell of your dad returning home.
Has your dad and family ever seeked help with therapy? I hope your family will find some healing. ♡
Mercy and strength. I have no words except thank you for sharing. You story will echo.
It's impossible to listen to this interview without drawing parallels to my own life and people. I feel so connected to both these men. This conversation is such a gift. They talk a lot about vulnerability and I'm grateful to them both for allowing themselves to be vulnerable in front of all of us.
I used to not like both of them but now I see them differently. Anyone who goes through great loss and continues on with a smile is a genuinely strong human. Much respect to anyone who chooses to continue to work hard and survive.
Stephen saying 'why aren't they asking about it' 'why is nobody talking about paul' really hits home
My dad recently passed, I needed this. Hearing people experience the same things I'm going through brought me comport.
I am sorry for your loss. 😔♥️
I am hoping you are feeling better. My father passed back 10/2020.
I’m sorry for your loss. I lost my dad in 2015. I know how you are feeling. It never gets easier but you will somehow learn to cope. Bless you. ❤
I come back to this interview about once or twice a year when I'm deep within grief, and it never fails to inspire me. This conversation has profound depth and soul.
Minute 13 in this conversation is so powerful.... Wow this is one of the most inspirational conversations I have ever seen on the internet..... To be honest I have a love hate relationship for Stephen Colbert but this conversation with Anderson Cooper shows me how people can have different opinions and beliefs but grief is universal and something we all experience and relate to.....God bless Stephen and Anderson.
my 18 yr old brother died when i was 9 years old. they feelings and experiences they describe while they were a child themselves at the time is very relatable. the world looks different when you grow up into adulthood with that particular pain and loss.