I think the Western culture is such that men have been conditioned to only seek out casual relationships. Promiscuity is encouraged, incentivised and celebrated! Being intimate isn't viewed as special or sacred, as it should be. The women mistakenly think that to get a guy to commit to a relationship, they have to get physical! It's totally warped in my view. Both lose out, cos guys aren't connecting emotionally, and the women are putting themselves in compromising, uncomfortable, or dangerous situations. They are losing sight of their value, instead looking for men to validate them.They may also be constantly second-guessing themselves after being intimate with someone who has no interest or inclination to take things further. Women needn't get intimate as a means of guaging interest, and the men should learn a bit of self-control and respect. My experience, especially on the apps, has been that the vast majority of men are looking to hook up. The idea that women are just there to serve and gratify them is gross, selfish, and disrespectful but seems perfectly acceptable -WHY?!. I've personally stopped using apps altogether.
We're too disconnected. Nobody wants to engage because it's too comfortable behind the phone screen. Discomfort is truly terrifying right now. Search up the streetlight effect. We're all a part of it.
1st: Sprouht, I love your quest. I was married 34 yrs when my wife died 2 yrs ago, I have not dated...in this century. 2nd: The 'romantic Subway dinner girl' revealed some of what I learned about a meaningful relationship; You both have to keep putting effort into a relationship for it to sustain you both. Think of it like a bamboo raft, if you only compete for what you can take away to share with your "friends" beware, egos are like pandas; adorable but they only eat bamboo...it's like that. I think people want to sustain a portrait of what they imagine others will perceive as successful, that's a yacht to wrap your hopes around and will require more to moor than threads. Hope smaller the world is counting on you, little by little.
Social media and dating apps have started to commoditize dating. So people just view you as a profile or a number and not a human being. That’s why flaking and ghosting are at an all time high. I think I’m 2023 we should all make an effort to meet people in person. Go to social groups, join a sports league etc. Organic is the best way
Very well said, totally agree. This said, people need to start a fresh, a clean slate & put past social media dating behind them. Be open & friendly to meeting organically, in person. Get out there etc.
I met my now wife at work and we have been together 35 years. In those days flirting and innuendo was all part of office banter. Now this behaviour is seen as sexual harassment and you can get sacked.
Confidence is not the feeling that something will work out, but rather it's knowing that you'll be ok if it doesn't. This is the best advice I've ever gotten. It means you can internally process your thoughts and desires and decide to pursue something without attaching a needed specific outcome to it.
@@colbalt95 Expecting vvomen to be faithful, not single mothers and not gold diggers already is impossible standards in today's dating world. In all honesty says more about the low quality of these chicks.
Exactly. Although honestly, it's not not that people's standards have become too high --- more like too absurd, too plastic, too shallow. A checklist for the best shiny packaging. I even found myself caving and watching makeup tutorials, despite not enjoying makeup and previously only wearing it for a job which allowed the frivolous cost to be written off taxes. And then I saw a video about AI filters and how angry men were that they could be tricked, and the comments section was a cesspool of seething misogyny and unfathomable entitlement. Snapped me right out of the make-up mind***k and the idea of dating at my age. I'll just stay celibate until I can move to a place where sexual encounters can be done by appointment as a legal business transaction with criminal bg checks, clearly established boundaries and expectations, and no one's time wasted. Bonus if I can market myself to guys who yank it to centuries old works of art and thus still avoid makeup!🙃
I feel like a lot of us have become so used to being alone that even though a part of us wants someone in our lives, we are terrified to step out of that isolated bubble and let someone in. It feels safe to be alone even though that safety somedays is suffocating
Yep... Even when I go on a first date that went well, I end up getting super stressed at the idea of actually getting close to them... And I usually run away.
I realised that God is the only medium for such beautiful gatherings take for example in church or temples, those places you can feel the joy you know and I know it's all possible because of God❤️
I literally have no idea how anyone gets into a relationship nowadays. On vacation I’ll walk around and see everyone my age looking at their phones. There’s no way anyone would even start a conversation with me and my friends. They just stay in their bubble. I hate dating apps but I’m not seeing an alternative other than dying alone.
Dying alone ? No. Dying with Robots. They will come to the rescue. Also technology will probably allow you to have a child as a male froM your DNA only.
Lol. "You and your friends". That there is exactly the problem. You're intimidating the boys away. It's hard enough to get rejected by a girl but rejected and laughed at by her friends too? Perhaps if you weren't a narcissistic asshole a boy would talk to you. Oh well. Dying alone seems to be your conviction.
Having returned to the game after many years being out of it, I can confirm that yes dating is ridiculously hard today. It's damn near impossible. It doesn't feel like it's acceptable to approach people in public anymore.
Women: "I like meeting guys naturally out in bars or whatever" "Just shoot your shot guys!". Also women: "Creeps who hassle and objectify women going about their business are disgusting".
I'm surprised nobody else talked about it in the comments. That was what stood out to me the most in the video. It's easier to take all these risks when it's someone you already have a deep connection with, and so much harder to get to the point of having a deep connection in the first place. I don't think this is something that people who don't have issues with dating understand. I wish the guy followed up on it further.
Everybody is more insecure than ever today because of many fatherless homes and kids being pathologically held back from facing real life so as to develop resilience and self confidence that isnt gonna come from stupid participation points and being coddled and too preoccupied with meaningless online activities that are basically an endless cycle of dopamine chase after dopamine chase.
The dating pool is just crazy. Many are in search of this perfect person forgetting they ain’t perfect either. I think two people who agree to be together, who are committed & has the desire to pursue the best in the other person - life would be better. I really liked that birthday surprise ❤
I'm 29, no beard, have autism, never had a girlfriend, & live in the suburbs of Houston (a car-dependent traffic clogged corporate wasteland) And there's no young adult girls even living here! The Texas suburbs are full of old people or families with kids. How am I supposed to get a girlfriend or friend with benefits? And moving is out of the question, I'm broke.
@@kennypowers1945 Ture that. If I wanted I'd go for every second women I see. But I don't do it as I'm looking for a very specific woman and actually are not ready yet. I need another 1-2 years.
Women on dating apps: There's too many options. 90% of men on dating apps: I have absolutely zero options. I tried Tinder for a few months. It was making me depressed and angry at women. I deleted it, and instantly felt better. Now, I would be very reluctant to even date a woman i met in person if she told me that she uses dating apps.
not to mention that the focus of a lot of the people who use those apps tends to be on hookups and casual relationships, which isnt ideal at all for someone interested in a romantic relationship
@Gryffindor Prefect Im a bisexual men (yeah, a torture) and dating gays is just as exausting as dating girls. All the gays I have matched are damn weirdos with unhealed traumas and women instead of asking how are you they ask you how tall are you. Both men and women had reject me because of my sexuality because "bisexuals cheat more" (I will never cheat, NEVER, I will never forgive myself for that) It's tiring and honestly, Im just gonna meet people in real life, I need to stop being shy and grow some balls.
Man even though all of these comments are sad to read because it’s people struggling, it makes me feel better that I’m not alone. The world can seem so isolating because we focus in on a small minority of people who seem to have it all when it comes to relationships but we forget 95 percent of people are in the same struggle as you are. Take care everyone and don’t give up x
Thank you! I hope this new year 2024 will be filled with kinder, more compassionate, and understanding women arriving into my life. My experience with college dating was hell. Nothing but getting blocked, my emotions toyed, getting ghosted and losing many female friends drifting apart. Even though I have been growing and evolving a lot, not one incredible woman bats an eye at me. USA sucks lol.
@@christiansnaturestudio6599 totally understand friend. I've been there. It can seem so unfair but youve just got to do things that make you happy, socialise and don't isolate. Just hang in there and do your best x
I've deleted most of my social media platforms because they were making me unhappy due to what it's become. In terms of dating, there's little to no genuine connection. I've also decided to not chase love cause it has a habit of ending in a ball of flames. The best thing for me to do is just focus on being happy for myself. If love finds me, great. If it doesn't, so be it.
After almost a year of having an absolutely miserable experience of online dating, I've deleted all my dating profiles and I'm now looking at ways of getting myself in the real world. I'm really happy for people who've found love on these apps but they're the exceptions rather than the rule. The whole experience is weird, and trying to find a partner in a sea of random people all asking how your weekend's been with 80% never replying back is the definition of madness.
Dating apps have made the joy of dating excruciating painful. I feel for you young uns, having to deal with this. Back in Old Man Tommy’s day, dating was a joy. Met all my dates at parties, the shopping mall, through friends,etc. What’s even worse today is, even when you’ve met someone and think you’re free of the dating apps, the dating apps are still out there. Which means you’re always just one swipe away from being single again.
Two of my best male friends on this planet were guys that my female friends were chatting up in public while I was about. There's a whole vast universe of interaction that people are missing by not doing in-person interactions the way we once did.
Yup man I feel the same, the master cheat code hack to life, quit all dating apps entirely & being extremely happier it mas mind blowing, only met women in real life and everything happened so naturally, was much more enjoyable
I don't date anymore because I have sporadic depression and anxiety I don't want to put someone else through. I think people are considering real problems now the they didn't in the past.
@@acegikmFunny that you're in that comment too, but what makes you think such a thing? ;o The right people will have enough patience, regardless of having a relationship or not. There are so many anxious people out there, but for some reason I mostly find those people funny af, since they actually try their best to make me laugh or make me feel like I am worth something. It really is completely fine, as long as you don't shrug off everything in life. And with everything, I really mean *everything* Even if that spark of hope is sooo small, so tinyyy, that tiny bit of hope can change so much. I really wish the best for you! And if things don't go well, I won't run away from the comment section. No matter if it's days or months, I'll gladly hear ya out! ^^
They know they just don't want to. Most women will be riding it for 20 years, and even if they have children they might still move on to the next guys again.
Does anyone else feel like we are witnessing the end of humanity slowly unraveling right before our eyes? The rise of social media and technology unnecessarily complicates human communication more and more, each passing year. There was a time - probably around the early to mid 2000's - when dating apps actually worked, and at the very least made it possible for people to meet without too much hassle. People could actually message each other without having to play matching games and sidestepping algorithms. The same can be said for the job market, and the process of finding employment. There was a time when technology worked for humans. Now it feels like humans work for technology.
I’ve been trying to find a girlfriend since high school and it’s been hard for me because everyone is on their phone and I am 33 now Sucks won’t we just go back to the old days when there was no cell phones and Internet so people can just walk up to a girl or a guy and they won’t be stuck on their phone that’s why they can’t find a girlfriend or boyfriend they need to put the phone down And delete social media and go back to the 90s when there is no cell phones
@@AbelSesmas I hear ya! I notice many people not even looking forward when they walk. Phones have definitely made it more challenging to engage with fellow human beings in person. What a weird time we are living in.
I have a good friend that fell in love with a woman from another country. She was a colleague of his brother that stayed in his parents home while she was doing research work in the US. He socialized with her a lot , but never dated. Two years later he could not get her out of his mind. He boarded a plane, and flew 5,000 miles to profess his love for her. Twenty five years later they are still married today. The moral of the story is when it comes to love you have to put it all out there. The only failure is the failure to act.
I met my wife 30 years ago this July. I was playing in a band at a bar that she just happened to go to with her friends in a town an hour away from where we both lived. My guitar player knew her, and introduced us between sets. She was shockingly beautiful, and I’m definitely not a typical good looking guy, but I loved her bold, unique style, so the first thing I said to her was “I like your shoes”. We chatted a little more and when my band did our next set she danced on stage next to my drum kit. At the end of the night I asked her if I gave her my phone number, would she call me. She later told me that the fact that I gave her MY number, putting the ball in her court to call me, plus complimenting her shoes, made her want to see me again. She called me the next morning! She asked if I knew who it was, “of course!” I responded, and we made a lunch date for the following day. We moved in together very quickly and were married by that Christmas. We have been in love ever since. I am so lucky that she decided at the last minute to go to a weird bar in a faraway town that summer night, 30 years ago.
It had nothing to do with her shoes or how you behaved that day. It's the fact you proved your social status, you were a musician performing in public. A man without status, it doesn't matter what you say or do, she's not going to call. As a man, you cannot afford to be weak, broke, or boring; you either build up your value, your status, or you die alone. Women don't have to worry about that, they're born with intrinsic dating marketplace value; women face the opposite problem, where they run out of time, and the years after 40 they're treated like a broke statusless 20-35 yo man.
@@AutisticMorty I was a 21 year old skinny longhair working in a shitty cover band in a dive bar with only a dozen people in the audience. My “day jobs” were working at a Pizza Hut, painting houses, and working at a comic book store. I didn’t have a car, and had just gotten a drivers license two weeks before I met her. Yeah, I had “status”. I can confidently say she loved me for who I am.
One of the most wholesome content I’ve seen in a long time. Thanks for addressing this and making us feel human. Dating is not that complicated, yet we can be so focused on the ways we think it works that we might even forget to notice the little signs around us and enjoy the fun of getting uncomfortable and vulnerable.
Dating in this generation is horrible because everyone is either stuck on their ex, have unrealistic standards, and have an entire roster of people in their contacts. Also, there are a lot of grown adults who aren't good at communication.
Or they can’t settle down. I hate how everyone these days want ”open relationships” or be ”friends with benefits”. Why is it suddenly so hard to find a normal traditional relationship? 🤦♀️
I am living alone for 7 yrs and couldnt get a quality relationship but i feel happy for the people that find love. If you found it, take care of it cherish it and nurture it.
You are loved and so naturally you attract it❤️. May your next chapter be fill with love, spicy living hot sex, joyful laughters, cries, living, transformation, elevating to your higher self, and spreading that love. Know that you are chosen to be part of this life & everything you desire YOU CAN have. You’re seeking love, something that’s great for this world, so of course you’re going to experience that. That kind of energy spread😝🤗 Seek it from God with gratitude and before you even ask God, this universe and everyone/everything in it is ready to aid in making your thoughts into a reality.
There's nothing you can do about the people you want not wanting you. Life is hard when the relationships you do have access to (friends, family, partner, etc.), don't reciprocate.
@@petersmithyy4556 They probably married because the girl got pregnant. Happend a lot in the 60's and 70's, etc. Some were religiously arrainged by family. I am sure they were *into* each other, that's why they conceived a baby in the first place!
Take away social media, dating websites, OnlyFans, and let's all, both men & women put our phones DOWN and start glorifying being "Average" and being "Blunt" and honest with what we want that way no one's time is wasted and then maybe, the dating world might have hope in the future.
It doesn't work like that sadly. People forget that life is BRUTALLY selective. Many many members of humanity didn't even procreate. Many kids have died in famines and many people were born out of wedlock. Our minds have been intoxicated by Disney stories so we think that *happily ever after" is the absolute standard. Newsflash: the standard is, you are born with a certain hand dealt, your genetics and the way you express your genes in the upcoming years will determine what you will look like, the society you actively participate in will decide, if you are attractive or not, your status will determine your financial success. This is the harsh reality we live in. Life isn't a fairy tale, it's a battlefield
The destruction that all this has caused if ended immediately would take generations to iron out...Wouldn't be just put down your phones and end your accounts and shit goes back to normal. The amount of psychologically damage at this point is astronomical.
Absolutely. Social media has ruined dating but that doesn't mean you should give up. Avoid dating apps and you'll be surprised on how people will be less picky.
Honestly I blame people mostly, yes social media has created this context where you have to be "perfect", and it has rooted itself in people's minds. People are afraid of failure and rejection, but if you don't fail and get rejected, you don't learn and change. Ask any scientist about experiments and they will tell you they rather see failures in the beginning rather than success so that they can void ways of not experimenting that way. Same is true for us, whether being finding new friends or seeking romantic relationships, if you can't find your flaws and reason for rejection, you are not learning.
Meeting organically can’t be rivaled - it’s what true attraction is all about - the inexplicable. Connection, scent, confidence, a look in the eyes, style, a voice, a laugh. Sorry but can’t outsource something that human to technology.
Yeah I think, as a man, an underrated part of dating is trying more in the real world where you have some form of agency as opposed to hoping for a match on some app, where only pictures and a few words are the sole factors. Getting rejected (potentially a lot) is part of the process, it's surprising how rarely people mention this. I've dated people in the real world who wouldn't necessarily have swiped right on an app. And yeah looks do matter but dressing according to your style (doesn't have to be fancy could be streetwear, casual, whatever but it needs to reflect you). Something that took me a long time to figure out : you always need to work on yourself but you're most likely good enough to get going, fear of rejection is normal but shouldn't be crippling.
To be honest, I gave up the dating thing and plan to stick to the "single" mindset. People nowadays are so superficial and think they deserve the best man/woman. You get what you deserve, not what you dream. I tried countless of times, took my time to know the person and never worked. For those who are asking themselves "Should I date in 2023?", my advice for you is "No, you should not, instead, focus on yourself and improving your mindsets. Reach your goals."
Just don't close yourself off to it if you would like a relationship at some point. I agree you should work on yourself and the right one will be attracted to you. Thats what happened for me at least. I was trying so hard to find a SO and then I just decided to work on my self and focus on self improvement and making platonic friends. This made me feel very comfortable not letting toxic people into my life and not making any concessions. Eventually I found a women who became my best friend, we were nearly inseparable for around 6 months while we had deep conversations with no expectations for romance on either side (Neither of us were dating for the same reason of self improvement). After that time we knew each other so well that I knew she was the one. We've been together for almost 10 years now and its been the best relationship I've ever had. Built on mutual respect and knowledge of each others past. When I finally talked to her about being serious we were both ready and knew we could completely trust each other. So yes focus on yourself and be open to new friends and experiences and you may end up with the relationship you always wanted.
I don't get how it has to be either or. You can work on yourself while dating, of course, if your going through hell, it would be better to avoid dating completely until things get better.
Air buds aren’t doing us any favors either. I see people at the gym and even the library wearing them. It keeps anyone from saying hello to them or them saying hello back.
You discovered the secret code of people wearing headphones/buds. It means leave me alone this is my Happy Place. Girls in the gym wearing headphones don't want strange men speaking to them. Girls in the library wearing headphones really REALLY don't want strange men talking to them
I think one big problem not addressed here is: Social Anxiety. You can so clearly see how your friend is ridden with social anxiety. I know because I have the same problem sometimes. And let me tell you: You can look like Henry Cavill and still be full of anxiety. There are usually psychological and sometimes even organic reasons for that beyond "feeling or looking good". Some people are anxious their whole life and never realize they're just intolerant to certain food or had some subconcious child trauma or literally thousand other reasons. I think we should address anxiety the same way we address depression and other conditions: methodically with help of modern psychotherapy and medicine.
Social anxiety comes from internet and spending too much time using technology to TALK. Having seen life before internet and after, the change in people has been unbelievable!! People used to talk to strangers in the street.
@@LabRat6619 I completely agree. I used to spend a lot of time on the internet and have been doing self improvement over the past 3 months. I've spend more time getting to meet and talking to people in real life that my confidence has gone way up. I'm still less confident than a lot of other people I spend time with, but the amount of confidence I was able to gain in just 3 months is unbelievable. I spent years with social anxiety unable to talk to strangers or get out of my comfort zone without being able to change. I was completely unaware how much change is possible within such a short time if you just work on improving yourself instead of accepting your fate.
No man, main problem in the west is the Dick Riding generation..... All women in Canada and other western countries, especially white females have 5-6 dicks at reach simply one text message and she is jumping on one.... Why would a man bother wifing up a woman like this?
Listen man, I get the whole anxiety thing but those things will only worsen if one does not do the neccessary things to improve it. We have access to phones and internet now, right? Why arent people looking for resources to help with their anxiety? There are several videos online to help better it. Maybe we should also address that as a society we spend too much time on our phones looking for garbage content online. Instead of focusing on the things that matter. Moreover, spending so much time in front of our screens have really contributed to isocial anxiety increasing. People lack basic social cues and emotional intelligence overall. All it takes to approach somebody is being kind and smile. Everybody gets nervous, that is normal. People will notice your nervousness and its OKAY. We need to make the necessary steps and the more we do it, the better it gets, I promise you.
@@jackiesanchz You're right that there are a lot of resources online to help with social anxiety. Most people with social anxiety are aware of this. The problem is though that knowing the things that are taught in those videos isn't enough. Knowing isn't half the battle. Actually implementing the tips from those videos into your life on a permanent basis is the hard part. Most people with social anxiety lack self discipline and unless they manage to discipline themselves to overcome their fears, they won't be able to just make permanent changes to their life that easily. I'm saying this as someone who finally managed to get through all of that.
From someone in a relationship for 16 years...just remember that people change with time and age. Things happen in life out of your control...deaths, illness, kids, job situations, looks. If you're willing to help each other and work through anything that's how people stay together. Don't waste time with people who don't take relationships seriously. And having a sense of humor! The only thing you shouldn't put up with is any form of abuse.
Great advice, absolutely true. People need to be able to meet each other where they are in life. When my wife and I first met I was very young still (22) and still was figuring so much things in life. Nearly homeless and not in school and struggling with undiagnosed ADHD. She was patient with me for so long giving me all the support and time I needed to thrive and now I'm doing much better and have gotten much more of it together. Later in the relationship she struggled with depression and anxiety and it was my turn to be the rock and support. Relationships are give and take and you have to give people time to grow sometimes are heal from trauma. As long as they are still fighting for the relationship and responding to your needs when you communicate them you can make it work even in the toughest times.
@@TheParaxore Finally yes, sensible people! Relationships are in fact give and receive and it's crazy to me that people tend to forget that. Being in love with someone isn't just that warm feeling you get, but also involves you and your partner willing to push through the hardships together. Communication plays a big factor into it as well, the lack of communication will only cause more problems, that's why I believe people need to open up with how the feel. Of course not full on trauma dump in one session just open yourself up about issues when the time is right and have a clear and open mind for whatever you or your partner discuss.
@@TheParaxore Yes. Building a relationship requires planning and effort and a lot of communication. People just expect relationships to work miraculously.
The woman’s last words at the end are everything: you have to be happy with what you’ve got. A relationship won’t help you fix your relationship with yourself. No amount of being with someone can make you happy on its own, you need to make your own happiness. What can be scary is leaning into the power and freedom of being single. You feel like you don’t need anyone any more. It’s a liberation, and intoxicating. Curiously it’s that kind of non-needy energy that attracts people.
Dude thats it! I am such a non-needy person but if I want to, I could have a girlfriend most of the time realistically. I am very grateful for that although I did not find the one for me. One of my best friends is pretty needy and he struggles in getting any girl at least...
100% this, work on yourself and when you feel content and are making good progress you will attract other likeminded people who strive to be the best they can be and are not afraid to admit when they are wrong. This is how I met my wife of nearly 10 years and its been the best relationship in my life.
It’s the attitude to everything. You don’t need to be happy about every outcome, but you have to accept that you can’t get a lot of things. But you will get some things. So be content with what you have.
The ending made me tear up, knowing I'll never have a girl be that excited to see me. Been single for my whole 33 year life. Every girl I thought I was building something with ditched me for someone else. I don't want to date a girl who's been with tons of guys in her 20s only to settle for me now. I missed out on teenage love and now 20s love. Yet standards are just becoming higher and people are getting more flaky. It's not worth all the effort just to get heartbroken again.
brooo I know it’s sad, but don’t give up! I believe someone is out there for you, you just gotta find them :) and even if you don’t, for some people it’s better to go solo! Just don’t give up just yet!
@@chloe79437 c`mon, don't lie to him with those romantic comedy Hollywood BS :) . @BlazingsNL , just don't deal with women and do whatever else you like.
Don’t give up you skank! Work on you be the best version of yourself and keep trying 💪 I too was stuck in this gross dating scene but found a fcking angel in hell
What is low level types? So let me get this straight so I can understand you better; YOU are ugly, but dont like it when people you find ugly want to message you or talk to you? Your own logic disgusts me
Do u see insanely attractove men only dating where you are? The men I see are 6 2 and usually look less attractive then girl amd basic. Like an accessory
"The best thing you can give someone is your attention" That women absolutely nailed it. And this goes for women too. Show your partner attention. Listen to them. Show that you care about what you say and don't just make it about you. Remember the important things for them. Do that and the rest will take care of itself. Good looks, great sex, money all subside when you have someone who is truly invested in your life.
I’ve found women want way too much of an upper ground on attention (cue the game of no message back, ever, unless you double, or triple text or message first). They don’t want to keep attention in the middle, it’s unattractive.
@@THunt-ss4hyIf she "no messages back" bring it up casual next time you meet in person _hey, btw what's up with our conversation? I bore you to sleep? lol_ That's all you need, acknowledge that you noticed and confront it without going overboard. If there's pushback or some kind of disrespect drop her like a bad habit, it's a sign of more to come.
This is good to know. Somewhere I forgot this and thought that I did not want to be intrusive with my attention, since that is how I survived childhood.
At 33 my dating life is complete. I would rather live whats left of my life with dignity than be in a dysfunctional relationship or run the rat race of dating.
@@Aenygma_ Bro I'm almost 35 and I do the same thing... I hire them for intercourse, hire mistresses for fetishes, and go to massage parlors for happy endings... Cheaper than dating any modern self-entitled chick.
Wow I wasn't expecting the personal angle at the end. It was beautiful. I'm a hard hearted cynic and I was touched. This is the real thing. Never let it go. Trust me I'm 54 and I know. That doesn't happen often in life. Once if you are lucky. You look super right together.
Glad to know there’s a real struggle out there. Been single for 9 years, wasted most of those trying to meet people on apps, always ends in ghosting, had a second date once. Didn’t meet anyone for the last three, guess covid didn’t help. Lived in a country I didn’t know the language and had no friends for for the past year on a work secondment. I’m now 35 and pretty unsure of how to get out of this situation. Confidence and experience are both low. Being single this long often just feels like I’m a huge red flag. Feels like I’m starting from scratch
You got plenty of time. I'm in your exact shoes at 44. Been single for 4 years. It's a loooong time I almost forgot what it feels like to be in a relationship. I took this time I had though to work on myself and love and accept everything. Now that i'm in a better spot, I can look for someone again. This time i'm joining classes, taking up hobbies, and going to singles events. I have one app left, Hinge which is just a supplement.
Ive been single for 13 years and that relationship was only for 3 months, I am still an outgoing person and can approach women in bars and clubs but ive not had much luck, it's a real confusing one when you like yourself but others aren't into you enough. I got dates and pulls easier back in the day.
I was flirting to someone I found at a dating site , because he was cute. Knowing he lived so far away , I didnt think we would have met. One day he decided to fly to my hometown. Now we've been married for almost 9 years. His action to just see me in person changed everything.
Me too! My husband was a foreign exchange student from Poland living in Southern California doing his graduate degree. I lived in the next county. We never would have met if not for the dating site. Together 7 years and married for 3 years. I now live with him in Poland and we have a baby ;)
@@spotscorner6040 now imagine how many guys have done the exact same thing and got rejected - the survivorship bias is fucking DRIPPPING on some of these comments
Also seems to stem from people generally feeling unhappy in themselves. This unhappiness is held within a relationship. Once they have a relationship and the buzz has worn off they realise they are unhappy so blame their partner. Get yourself sorted out first, because your partner can't fix your unhappiness.
There is a dichotomy which noone is aware of. A) On one side you have a group of people which feel they are spoiled for choice so it may cause choice paralysis, frustration and continuous search for a better option. So these people may always doubt their date if there's something better and B) The other group are people who despite the seemingly limitless options they are unable to even get one date, because perhaps they don't qualify as suitable enough partners for the current standards of society. So these people are left without a very basic human need, intimacy, affection and a sense of self validation. It's certainly a very severe social issue like poverty, inequality, etc. that goes completely undetected
It goes deeper than 99% of people realize. The truth has been lost to the winners of history, the world is being systematically destroyed from the inside out, it’s been getting worse every decade. Generations of the most wealthy, the most sick and twisted, the most depraved rulers of the world have turned it into a breeding ground for hate. They sow dissent into everyone. every culture, religion, and country is pitted against each other in a battle to the death without the inhabitants even realizing it. For example, everyone is so busy fighting whites and their supposed privileges that they don’t even see how their own race is being ethnically cleansed in the background, they don’t see how the destruction of white people is just the beginning of the destruction of everyone on earth. If you want to fight it, you have to put aside your differences and unite against a common enemy, the politicians and business that run your country and their schemes to make sure you stay segregated and suffer the wrath of crippling debt and isolation from the people and things you care about. What’s more important, the color of your skin and the spread of a culture that already exists and thrives in its own place of origin, or the survival and respect of all cultures regardless of their artificially inflated privileges and more importantly, their people
That is an intelligent and polite description of the current basic dichotomy. If a young man feels strongly enough about marriage he should go overseas for it. Western women are as a general rule, not especially feminine, extremely prone to divorce and frankly not pleasant to come home to. In our base social mores, it is highly consumerist, impulse control is disparaged in favour of encouraging endless gratification. Of course it's all a form of degeneracy. In our post-1970's culture, self discipline is not admired and praised (except perhaps in sport). Women are not absolutely necessary for an ambitious man to achieve fulfilment. Of course MSM promotes women as morally better then men. And women don't want unambitious men. There's another dichotomy.
I've been single since 2018, Feb. 2018. That same year I started the gym, a business, travel, my raptors won the championship in 2019 lol etc. etc. My life has been INSUMOUNTABLY better since I stopped playing society's game. 5 years later and I can tell you without a shadow of a doubt, be your own person, work on yourself, heck take yourself out. When was the last time any of you took yourself out for steak, mashed potatoes or lasagna lol go on weekend trips and pamper yourself! And above all, work on your spirituality, you will not regret it!
It’s true and I know where you coming from. I basically did that all my 20s and I’m 29 now and as years go by , you do realize as a human being, you have this need and there’s nothing wrong with it in having a relationship with a girl you have some connection/vibe with and spending quality time together. It’s really a good feeling . My few relationships I had was when I was 15 then at 18 for a few months then at 23 for a year and a half. After that been always single and sleeping around here and there but then I realize it wasn’t my thing and that I’m a relationship guy
I can relate. My last relationship was 2018 as well. Since then I just focused on myself and self development. Through just focusing on myself, i met a girl who was interested in me. She asked me out and now we’re dating.
The first girl was spot on it’s better to be friends… doesn’t mean the friend zone, they’re very different things. Just getting to know people makes it easier, meeting at the bar I wouldn’t agree with but starting an after work activity is what you should do to help you to build yourself socially and confidently.
It definitely is.. but imagine dating someone and then after the first date she says, "lets just be friends." I get turned off by that. I've been in situations where I keep trying and I get signals that she likes me, but I end up getting used and its a waste of time.
Very fine line with the friend thing. I've been friend-zoned in the past, and I try to avoid that now. Once you're there, there's no getting out. You can take things slow, but there needs to be that attraction, there needs to be some sexual tension from the jump.
@@MrKrushgutz to an extent. I always say this , the best way to know someone is when you both are already dating and getting into a relationship. You get to know more about each other and more intimacy. When a guy and girl are friends first, the guy will usually put a persona and will try anything to qualify for her so basically he will be political correct
Problem with dating apps is that people aren't accountable for bad behaviour. It's like the 90s dater said, ghosting was a disrespectful thing to do back in the day.
Bro, thank you SO MUCH for making this. I am very strongly of the opinion that social media is poison and hate dating apps. The more people realize that meeting each other in the real world is the healthy approach to relationships, the better off we'll be. I have tremendous respect for your courage.
I’m 36 and I really don’t date anymore. At least not like how I used to. It’s too tiring. But I am open to just going out and sharing space with people. I find that when you’re in a natural, neutral space, it’s easier to get to know someone. Might not go anywhere. But still wouldn’t hurt. I’m definitely never going back to dating apps.
That's how it used to be. A community where you feel like you belong, a place like your home or hangout place, school or church whatever.. but IG and dating apps kinda fucked everything up. People gotta get off SNS and dating apps. It's not for the most.
You're doing good work, bro. Being born way before the social media high, I really dislike the idea of online dating because its just become swipe swipe swipe ego boost. Young people, just meet organically, let it flow.
I love that you are helping your friends out. Some friends won't take a chance on setting up a friend because of how it could affect them, not considering that it could turn out well for their friend.
Yeah, but the way he did it was BS. Having the girl on camera first put so much pressure on her to be nice. No way she thinks he’s a nine going on 10. The I have a boyfriend thing had a good chance of being fake too.
He's not really helping his friends out- so much as he's TRYING to help his friends out. The road to h3LL is paved with good intentions. He's full of hopes and dreams- he's not full of realistic plans rooted in historically proven methods.
I never drank, didn't have many friends or a social life during college. Mix that with relocating to new states/cities for jobs. I was feeling depressed as the apps weren't panning out the way I expected. Many people around me were already in relationships from people they knew. I went on a few dates but nothing ever panned out. Fast forward, I'm 31 and have a daughter. Of all the places I met my wife inside a Laguardia Airport terminal in NYC (we both live in Dallas). Never thought in my lifetime I would meet anybody in the circumstance. Life works in strange ways. Keep your head up and don't miss the world looking at your phone.
Hey! Could you please elaborate a bit more on what "I met my wife inside an Airport terminal" looks like? Did you approach her first because you find her attractive? Or did you just awkwardly bump into each other?
I am 44. I used to do dating online way back in the early 2000s when it was just about meeting new people and it was actually better then than it is now. I hate meeting people online these day. I have never met so many weirdos before in my life! I rather meet people organically but once again social media just made people really socially awkward. When I do meet someone, I do not invest my time in a date. I do a nice meet up for coffee/tea and from there I can depict if the person is a nut job…lol! I do not invest in dates anymore unless the person and I have hit it off really well when we did the meet up. I don’t know…dating is just way harder than what it was years ago.
I'm 43 and most don't even respond back. The few who do are either fake accounts (Idk why anyone would even do this) who send me unsolicited/too good to be true msgs, or trainwreck with teenage kid(s). I don't wanna do the whole "shut tf up! you ain't my dad!" thing. I shudder at the thought. I make $160k, 6ft, and getting my house built on my land. I'm stable, presentable, and everybody likes me. I'd say I'm an avg dude and if I had to rate myself, a 5 or a 6 if I wear a suit. But women 5 and higher are always looking at 2-3 levels higher than them. They need to just drop their expectations and not live in the clouds. I'm almost thinking about changing all my profile pics to flexing my cash. I don't wanna meet anyone who got interested because of what I have, but at this point, I might as well.
@@steveh5307 Steve, I am 46. I read your words twice and slowly. Let me just say this- you're spot on with everything. Yes, because you're doing good financially, it'd be helpful to "use" your cash these days. Not at all encouraging you to keep blowing tons of it but yeah, it's gonna come in handy, particularly NOW. Society has changed so much all of a sudden and if we don't do it now, when would be a good time! I understand you're mature and definitely way more than me since I have some other issues that have smacked me hard in the brain but felt like writing to you feeling an instant connection. Wish you best, be safe. God bless you and all of us to become better folks. 🙏
@@krapivakrapiva7871 I didn't get what your observation has to do with Steve though. Also, he's 43. While I'd agree most 43 year old women would have kids, Steve would definitely know what he wants. It's just that he's done with his observations for the most part and is contemplating his future moves. There's no reason to believe he'd be looking out for folks only 40 or so. It could be younger girls. He's financially stable, just hasn't "used cash" to attract girls. Np. At just 43, he can do it now. I see no issues here. I am 46 and would do the same after facing the same issues as he did. I am financially stable, 6 feet tall and not a lout. Respect for other humans never waned in me, it's just that folks like him and me are fed up with these nonsensical games. Best wishes.
I was in a long distance relationship once. Planned on flying to Europe and surprising her for valentines day. Turned out she had already met someone else who was richer or whatever. Luckily she told me before I booked flights.
I had a long distance boyfriend, I was willing to wait long for us to meet and was excited to have my first kiss with him and everything. Then he said he wanted to have the possibility of meeting other girls and ghosted me. Completely put me off from long distance.
@@starrilysky That's an awful situation to be in. Completely understand why that would put you off ever wanting to do the long distance again. I'm in the same boat as yourself. Either break up on good terms before one goes the distance or discuss potential Polyamory (open) relationship.
I appreciate you showing the perspective of dating in the 90's and pre dating apps versus people now. Even the older guy seemed so much more eloquent than the younger generations. Very telling
I think also one of the reasons dating feels impossible is because people don't even know why they're dating anymore. The point of dating is to find someone reasonable that you can start a family with. That immediately means concessions and compromises have to be made. If you don't want a family why not try to swing for the fences and who cares if you're forever alone. Also the point of dating is to one day to not to date. It doesn't seem like people are interested in that. They seem to want to serial date until they die or something. Again this just leads to people not compromising and finding someone good enough.
@@minty000 instant gratification, sex before a true relationship is established which only really is secure at marriage if done correctly, is why. So many people want sex but they don't want compromises and years of developing a relationship
Some might just want friends and not looking for a lifetime mate right away. Dating has become too exclusive, so people feel trapped and might shy away from that. If you're looking only for a mate to settle down with, that certainly should be communicated early. The lack of becoming friends with similar interests or goals is a lost art.
@@shirleyashanti3031 In my opinion men and women can't be friends. There's always something that gums up the platonic nature of the relationship (even if its just the spouse of one of them).
I know a girl who told me loves going dates meeting on apps, she taken to fancy restaurants etc and never once had to pay anything, no intention of going out with any of the guys she meet, she said too much fun, being taken to dinner etc, doesn’t cost her one cent. She said she got presents, flowers, shopping etc 😮
Went on one date with one girl like that last year , I didn't ask her for a second date when I knew what she was up to. Dating around getting taken out for meals every other night by different men with no intention to get with them
She's a terribly toxic person, looking to use poor men for free meal tickets. This is why you split the bill on a first date. Tell the waiter as soon as you order a drink or whatever you want a separate bill for what you ordered. Leave her with her own bill. If she appears to be disinterested or toxic pay for whatever you ordered and walk out. I don't like it when people take advantage of one another in such appalling ways.
Multiple reasons: -Women's standards in men have skyrocketed due to dating apps. Average women no longer date average men unless they're desperate. -Modern feminism have made women more combative and masculine, telling them to put their career first before a family. -Certain types of insane or hostile women seen in social media clips makes alot of guys too nervous to approach as they don't want to get labeled as a "creep". -Pornography and video games addiction has destroyed the incentive for many men to approach and interact with women in real life. -Alot of men are simply too scared to approach due to some women online saying "don't approach us". -Alot of men have gone down the "black pill" rage where they basically resent women for not choosing them.
Just gotta correct you, black pill rage is not a thing, it is red pill rage, black pill is when you come to accept the **** of the world, sorry just had to I am a bit of MGTOW. Black pill is good if you handle it well, but Red Pill rage is a real and bad thing, if you let it destroy you, you will be a angry terrible person that no one likes.
Average women now have been forced into the workforce and have had to buy homes alone, plan retirement savings alone, invest alone so they simply want a partner that is at least an equal financially and serious minded. Prior, women were (for the most part) provided for by the man. Now that women are having to slave as well, they expect a man who is at least at their level.
@@JenX422 Equality doesn't sound so good now it would seem, having to finally put in some effort yourself, you could swap women with men and what you said pretty much remains the same in the current economic state, but women will sure want my resources anyway, the best women will understand that both will likely be financially independent, just working together for things like food and housing, maybe holidays. You make a point for good women, but many want a man who earns MORE then them and will provide for them, go on a date, good luck finding one who will pay for you, 25% chance of getting someone who will split, 65% will expect the man to cover and 10% will break all normal logic.
I moved back to England after 16 years in Florida. I moved to a new area, a small village on the south coast. I joined walking, running & motorbike clubs in an attempt to meet new people. Joining clubs like these immediately gives two individuals some common ground which you may be able to build a friendship upon. I made lots of new friends, but I’m still single as I haven’t made the right connection yet. I joined a gym. I haven’t been to a gym in about 20 years. They’ve changed so much. Everybody wears headphones & isn’t interested in any kind of interaction. I think social media & dating apps have ruined the art of human interaction. I don’t use either of them.
In the USA this is a problem, but in NZ and Australia it is pretty standard to partner up and get married. Almost everyone does it; it's quite rare to be single out here. If you're single, you just let your friends know you're single and looking and they'll invite you to parties and events so you can meet people. I don't get why Americans don't do this.
This is a load of garbage. Australian here, having lived overseas and spoken to other people who've lived in other parts of the world and moved to Australia. Australians are a uniquely unfriendly and VERY nepotistic, clique orientated populace, one that is severely judgemental of all outsiders, even of other Australians. It isn't anywhere near as easy in reality as this person is making it seem, unless you already are apart of a huge friendship group, you're essentially alone. Trying to break into friendship groups as a new person is almost impossible due to Australian's general ignorance and fear of difference.
WHy, because the 90 % of single women are all dating the top 10% of guys on the dating apps . leaving all the other men invisible .... Men are totally afraid of marriage because women will divorce you 80% of the time and take you for half or more of your life long accumulation of money and stuff and if you have a child or children she will get those 90% of the time and all the father gets is to PAY her child support ....and under threat of Prison if you lose a job and fall behind in those payments .... Women wouldn't be stupid enough to fall for that and men are finally waking up and not falling for it now either . Would you jump out of a plane if your parachute didn't work 50% of the time ?
I've always loved the idea of doing activities together and bonding over a shared interest as a date. I do best in that scenario. I wish more people were into that. Also these parks you go to to interview people seem like a great place to meet someone in real life.
I have so much respect for a man when he actually comes to talk to me. It’s very sad now how things are. I’m 45 and the internet has made life so complicated. I personally will not use a dating app as I would prefer to wait and meet someone naturally.
I was born and raised in Montreal but have been in Ghana for the past year taking care of my dad. Your videos have helped me so much man. Such amazing content!
I was also born and raised in MTL and am now out on my own living and working in another country, these videos help me a lot with the homesickness! Sending you love :)
I’ve never once regretted asking a girl for her number but I always regret not asking. I have also never had a negative reaction, and I’ve asked a lot of girls. Just give it a shot dude you got this!!!
Yeah, I'm just 165cm (5'5") and I think I'd be more confident would I not have read so much about girls wanting tall men. Most girls I know are my height or smaller, so I wouldn't have expected that to be a problem. Trying to ignore this, not much I can do, but it's in the back of my mind.
@@dennisjungbauer4467when they get older and realize they were too picky you’ll be appealing. In the meantime, focus on yourself. Get your self esteem, self love, hobbies, and finances together and you were surely find the one right for you.
@@dmystfy Try not to get to happy based on someone elses misery, that never really works for a good person never wants to see someone else suffer. I would say focus on yourself and level up make friends and look better as well. Try again there are poepel with condition and mentalhandicap physical handicap its not a one size fits all equation out there.
For me personally, I’ve learnt once you possess an enthusiastic spirit in life, then good people get drawn to you, things start to happen, you believe in yourself etc. it doesn’t matter about the dating apps, social trends, structures on how to do stuff and what to say. You’ll automatically know what to do once you have full self belief. If you have a bad interaction, a bad experience, brush it off and move on. We’ve all known people in life that have this spirit, we all wished to emulate it. We can all do this.
I may be old-fashioned but I think the internet and dating sites/apps encourage people to put their best face forward to the extent that they are not accurately portraying themselves whether they realize it or not. I met my wife and got to know her face to face. We were good friends for years and I knew her well before I decided to ask her out. That personal element of getting to know folks in the real world and seeing how they interact with you and others is important and is all too easy to gloss over when the approach to dating is online.
True but a lot of these American men are acting weak and immature and don't seem to know how to act around women. It's kind of embarassing. Also they watch way too much porn and have unrealistic standards. A lot of men think they have a ton of options for love and relationships when the reality is they just don't. I had a guy friend who was nerdy and insecure blowing up chances with gorgeous and successful women. He refused to work out, be nice and get on the level of these women. He would end up mistreating high quality women and then he would complain how he couldn't find anyone. Lol. I think most women started checking out of the dating scene. They are either single, some are looking for men overseas, some are becoming sexually fluid, and some are becoming lees feminine due to the way modern American men are acting.
Yes!! I go out all the time and look around and try to smile at guys I’d like to talk to, but they’re staring at their phones and look unapproachable so I just drink my damned drink and go home alone again 🤷🏻♀️
It’s even worse in middle age. I was married for 20 years. Then dated for a few years, hated it, and have now been alone for almost 4 years and I’m learning to be happy on my own.
The dating scene is really harsh on two types of people; young men and older women. Young men are viewed as weak and worthless. They have no experience and get the little brother treatment. Older women are viewed as washed up, and used. They’ve been through life, and have lost their spunk. They get the grandma treatment.
This is such a chronically online response and very very untrue.. I'm ready to bet you've never heard people in real life say stuff like this.. especially about older women.. you could literally be a 75 year old woman, and some man is still gonna show up.. come on now @@arkad6329
Yesterday, the girl I was seeing for a few months and I had A LOT of emotion for broke up with me, and I've been in such immense pain since. Your video was the sweetest medicine I could ask for; A lantern in my dark hours, shedding light and brightening my heart. Thank you very much!
Keep your head up brother you’re not alone. My gf of 5 years who I thought was going to be my forever left me. It’s tough but focus on yourself. Everything will fall into place 🙏
I got broken up with the day after my birthday. It was all of a sudden, she blindsided me. It's been about 3 months now but she still crosses my mind and I feel like crying. Hang in there, we'll all make it out of this sadness eventually
For most men, when rejection is all you know why would you expect anything else? Isn’t a definition of insanity repeating the same action and expecting a different result?
Suggestion from a woman: Instead of asking a woman for her number, GIVE HER YOUR NUMBER. The man I loved for 20+ years, I reached out to him. He always(only half- jokingly) said "I;m the shyiest man in the world!"--and he also said if I hadn 't asked him out, we'd never have gotten together. Only CANCER ended our wonderful relationship. a year ago...& I still miss him terribly.
Should he not be "her type", no matter too short, too skinny, too whatever, giving out his own number "unwantedly" would be seen as harassment - or worse. You girls have set up a system since Harvey's lynching in 2017 within which You are the only ones to actually approach whoever You want to talk to Yourselves. Men can't do that any more. Meh2 and all those toxic, misandist ideas emerging from it, no matter where You look at - men can't do the first step any more.
I understand why you wouldn't understand but this is pretty bad advice. Women do not initiate contact with men, most girls are only attracted to men that do all of the work. The girl will not call or text him if a man gives her his number. Better advice is to not treat asking for a number/social as the only reason for approaching a woman, you will leave a much better impression if you spend some time talking/asking questions before and after asking for their number. The number should almost be an after thought.
I've hit 70. When I was a youngish man. Dating or "going out" as we used to say in the UK had it's diffiulties but people weren't neurotic about it. I thought dating apps and modern technology would make getting together much easier for young people. Obviously not. I never asked a woman out because they met a list of requirements. Just if I fancied them.
An abundance of choice is not always a blessing. It definitely did the opposite for most men. Women can pick out the top 10% and they eventually get dumped after sex but that's after they have already wasted their 20s and 30s.
@@hahahahaha7824 It's true. Why would a woman date a guy who looks worse, makes less money, is less skillful, basically worse in every way than one of the 100 dudes she saw from the list. It's literally like throwing out resumes that aren't as good as the other. Extremely toxic and horrible way to date.
I think it's because when you meet someone in person you can totally get a vibe whether good or bad. But when you're on an app, people are literally only choosing for what the person looks like on a 2D surface. There's no sense of personality or charm or how they smell or how they laugh or how they put their hair to one side in a sexy way that gets you going. It truly is like shopping for a human being and it's creepy.
@@life4trinity The worst part is that women are only attracted to the 1% top guys, and the only reason those guys are so attractive to them is because they treat women like objects. Those 1% of men also have an abundance of choices, they have no reason to settle down with a girl. So you've got all these girls that go around thinking that all men suck, when they haven't even given most of the normal guys a chance. Or worst case scenario, the woman success at locking the 1% man down, but then she tries to change him because he isn't treating her well, or because he cheats with another girl (since its hard to break habits, and the top 1% have gotten in the habit of fucking around). The same reason that drove her to desire the guy ends up being the same reason for the divorce.
Great that you had a surprise visiting her. I had a similar experience back in 2021 and that girl was mad (we had a 3 month "talking stage"). I think that she was ashamed of me, but her reaction gave me a clear understanding that I should move on. I felt really bad but had no regrets because it was a pretty courageous action (especially for me). In my late 20's I rethink the essence of rejection. Now I "translate" a girl's no as a favor because I don't waste time, money, and emotions and put effort into the wrong lady. Isn't great? She saves all that stuff for me. Guys, keep trying dating, change strategies, mindset, meet people without expectations
I’m a guy who made a fake Tinder account pretending to be a woman. The results were… disturbing. I now truly understand what’s going on here. Hearing about it is one thing, but seeing it with your own eyes is something else entirely.
@@Lauren-gs7bn How desperate men today are and how few options they really have. I used a random low quality stock photo of an average woman (about 35 years old), and within an hour, I was already at 99+ likes. A lot of the men weren’t even unattractive. It’s no wonder women today are so arrogant.
I wish i had a wing man. I have been cold approaching lots of women all on my own(some approaches did work out well while others not so much) I'm still single 24
The whole concept of compartmentalising romance, of meeting people with the specific intention of finding a partner, is so impossible for me to embrace. I only ever fell in love with women I knew for some time as friends or coworkers, because that way I got to know their real personality over long term and in different situations. With intentional dating, people put the getting together part first and already have a relationship before they know much about each other. This just feels so terrifying to me. I can't be physically intimate with a girl before I'm emotionally intimate. It also inherently creates shared experiences and just feels like so much better of a foundation than just, well, looking for a relationship and then picking the favorite option. That sounds like shopping to me. Maybe I'm a hopeless romantic, but I'd rather have life write a beautiful story for me than just picking one on Amazon.
I think exactly the same: I used dating apps for a year more or less, but I always felt unconfortable about the fact that the goal is knowing for having a relationship (any kind of) and not only to meet new people. So it put on me a lot of pressure in trying to be "cool", and I got stressed about it 😂 I need a little bit of time to feel confortable around new people, and to express myself at (almost) 360°. so definetly I can say that I'm not a dating apps person
Spoken like a true gentleman. However women do not love men the way men love women. Never forget that. Young women love love and falling for their dream-boat. Usually Chad or Tyrone. By thirty yo they are getting down tintacks and will give a beta-provider a chance. The fly in the ointment is, you are never going to be, or will never be her "first choice". The Will Smith dilemma with Jada Punkett Smith. Jada is an alpha widow. And that dear sir, with a lot of window dressing, is how the sh*t generally goes down in the West these days. Just sayin' , you aren't ever going "to make her happy"...but you might get a couple of kids out of it.
If you’re generally a social person, you will become a social magnate. If you talk to people, even people at work, school, restaurants, or a park, just try. The worst thing that happens is an awkward encounter, which as long as it isn’t harming anyone it’s okay! Don’t live in a little safety bubble your whole life.
Because of an ex-friend, I have a negative view of online dating. My ex-friend used online dating to distract herself from some core relationship fundamentals that she was missing. Because I have seen her struggle with relationships for 12 years, and she always blamed other people, it was hard for me to take online relationships seriously. I have also seen online relationships transform to marriages, but I didn't like how one person treated the other. Overall, I learned that regardless where you find your relationship, you need to do the work to become whole but not perfect. Whole can be about self-acceptance, kindness, ability to genuinely listen, maturity, self-reflection, and so much more. A therapist once told me it takes two whole people to make a healthy relationship, not two half people.
I've come to the conclusion that I'm not good with dating apps and I'm perfectly fine with it because getting to know people online is not natural. I'm also not into cold approaching because that seems even more unnatural as the woman is a perfect stranger to me and I to her, so the chances of it going well don't seem too great. Meeting people in person, making friends, and meeting women through friend groups have always shown to be pretty favourable as it pertains to dating. Just being your best and most authentic self and putting that out there can lead to the truest and most genuine connections and you can definitely meet the woman you love through that method.
I'm in the same boat as you bro. In-person is more valuable because you can see each other's body language, exchange energy/vibes, etc. On top of that, i've had better experiences with the girls i've met in person initially vs online initially. And i'm only 23
I’m 31 and been single for a longggg time. Dating apps don’t work for me because I find personality to be much more attractive than looks and I also don’t drink so there aren’t many social activities for me to meet men. I’ve just learned to be happy alone and hope someone will come into my life naturally.
The days before we were really hooked on social media were amazing! Before the dopamine and the algorithm.... we were so present with each other, gas was cheap so we drove everywhere. Jokes were funnier because PC culture didn't ruin humor. no one texted because it cost like 10c per text at least so we would talk on the phone for hours and hours. sit in cars and listen to music, go on walks, dates, hang out in groups. it was the best! you met friends through friends. it was simpler times and we were just so much more present and content. we did stuff instead of sitting in the house playing on screens.
It just really feels impossible. It feels like I have no chance no matter how much I try to improve myself and make myself better it is never enough. People tell me to "Go out and talk to people" as I do and then I just get ignored or become invisible. I do the online thing and that doesn't work I don't have the looks. You can't just "be confident" when you've been put down all the time. After getting ghosted so much and ignored and not being able to get into a relationship for reasons I can't control I pretty much feel like giving up on dating...
Judging from your profile pic and the videos on your channel, I can PROMISE you that your looks are definitely not the issue my dude. You have great facial structure with hollow cheeks, a great chin, and a good head of hair all of which makes for a handsome face overall. Also, a lot of guys would kill to have your physique. I don't want to sound like an a**hole, but when people like you who are quite good looking and in great shape say they struggle with getting dates it's very hard for me to believe.
@TurboFisto Well I've definitely been single 23 years. If it's not face it's definitely height. I'm only 5'8 in an area people are taller than average. Dating apps I get 0 likes. In the bar I've had guys want to talk to me but no girls. I think that was only because of physique but many girls don't seem to care about things that you can change like building muscle. They care about genetics for offspring like national geographic. I'm going to read books on how to approach people better but I don't think that's it though. Being ever so slightly socially awkward wouldn't have me single for 23 years, would it? I really hope I'm wrong but experience and maybe bad luck points to me being right.
@@toastertoaster342 Not gonna lie the height could be an issue for some women, but I think you make up for it with your looks. Keep forcing yourself into social situations and trying to overcome the social awkwardness/anxiety. Also, you're only 23! I know it sucks right now not getting attention from women in your age range, but they're all either just hooking up with randoms from college or going after older dudes. The women you have to deal with now (18-23) are immature and lack any kind of idea of what they want in life. I'm 29 and I didn't really have success dating until about 2 years ago. Once you're near my age and you continue the self improvement route, you will have a much better chance of finding someone. Women typically won't even entertain a guy that's younger than them, so your only options now are college girls and as I said earlier and everyone knows, they don't a give a f*ck about serious relationships at that age. Once your dating pool opens up to include women who are post-college and want to settle down, then you will see a lot more success. Keep at it and don't get discouraged with the circumstances as they are. Good luck brotha.
@@toastertoaster342 judging from your profile picture, you strike me as someone who may be on the spectrum. Is it possible that you have Asperger’s syndrome? If that’s the case, that would explain your dating troubles.
Being afraid of being accused of something, people have criticism skills but not conversation skills, no more common interest baselines, no social skills. Used to be you could just NOT be looking for anyone but you happen to have conversation starters (an album you just bought in your hands, a book you are reading, a nice fashion choice, etc) and you could ask where they got that stuff or recommend something and a conversation would start. You could either make a friend or a date. Not anymore. Kindle, iPod, and bland fashion, etc.
I feel like “work with what you have” is one of the best pieces of advice I ever got. I’ve found that, even though it decreases as we get older, teenage years can gate keep you from meeting people outside your circle for many reasons. I’m currently in sixth form and I’m learning to keep searching outside for clubs etc whilst still accepting the opportunities that I have within my own circle. Although things may disappoint, it’s good to accept the good bits about your current friendships, since they do provide something - just a different level than you want. In those instances, it takes some mental strength to adapt to their level of care so both parties are happy (or leave if they actually suck)
I relate to this so much as im also in sixth form. I joined a group outside of school when I was in year 10 and it felt like a breath of fresh air. I love my friend group so much, but it’s nice to socialise with different people too :)
Trevor is handsome, genuine and sweet. It is really attractive when guys aren’t full of themselves and a little shy. He reminds me of Roger Federer. ♥️ Keep us up to date how his dating is going. 😊
I totally feel Trevor bro. It was like he was reading my mind of how I feel when you asked him about asking that girl out. Like yeah, most girls are just being nice. They would absolutely say no if you asked them out. If they say yeah, give it about a month before they wanna move on… sometimes I feel like it’s kinda threatening to them to have a guy hit on them, so they act in whatever way and make up whatever they can to make them go away. I think more often than not, they’re just being polite instead of being genuine as a defense mechanism, so it’s often like “what’s the point?”. The safest bet imo is to get to know someone in a space where there’s some sort of shared interest/values (like shared religious affiliations or recreational activities)and then ask them out after getting to know them a bit over time. This will in turn allow particular chemical reactions to spark and create a sense of bond and attraction that makes the whole process smoother and increase the likelihood of longterm success.
As a kid of the 70-80s, and painfully shy, I wish I had an opportunity to meet girls on line. The fear of approaching a girl was paralyzing and the fear of rejection was even worse. Unlike dating apps, the people you ask out were usually in your school or at work and you would see them every day after they reject you.
Well, if the call isn't picked up or the parent comes out & says so and so is sleeping or isn't home, repeatedly making excuses, that's a form of ghosting. I think back then, it was just called fibbing & avoiding them at all cost 😂
People need to start a fresh, a clean slate & put past social media dating behind them. Be open & friendly to meeting organically, in person. Get out there etc. Treat others how you want to be treated & don't be rude to others, just for approaching you. See it as a compliment & be kind.
I had a hard time with dating in 8 years and now I'm not considering to date anyone, anytime soon or maybe never. I'm learning more about myself that I operate at my total potential when I'm single and I'm enjoying my own company more than anyone else. I don't know how things will be for me in the future but right now I'm just loving my hustle.
Even though It is indescribably hard to approach people irl, especially for the first time, but its always worth it because you never regret approaching someone, despite how badly it turned out, but you ALWAYS regret NOT doing so, because you never know how its going to turn out, even if you think you do.
Man I’m really old! The guy who said the last time he went on a date was 1999…I was married for 11 years and the father of three by then. I would say dating has never been easy, though. Each generation has had their own challenges. And a man’s fear of rejection is as old as time itself.
Wow! The answers I heard in your discussion was nothing like dating in my time early 1960’s. I asked girls at the beach for a phone number and nobody said no. I never had luck at bars, I think because then bars attracted desperate women, I hate desperate. Met girls working at the university but quickly found they were too popular, remember in those days college was 80% men. Finally, we had a birthday party at my rental house with 7 college guys and went next door to a small apartment building and wrote down the names of girls living there off the mail box. In those days telephone books listed name, phone number and address so it was easy to make contact. We invited a bunch of girls over to the BD party and none refused. And that’s how I met my wife. After a few months, I could she she wasn’t going to give up on me so I stopped seeing anyone else. She and I never went on a real date until after we were engaged. Life was certainly different then.
It was so good to see people from Montreal ❤ I’m a Québécois and had been living in Spain for a couple of years. I can tell you that it’s exactly the same problem here. I did some research lately to try to better understand the effects of dating apps, such as Tinder and the results are not encouraging. Basically, these apps are designed so that 80% of women are trying to get the top 10% of men, leaving 90% of men out of the equation. This leaves most women feeling rejected by men who have the luxury of choosing. On the other hand, 90% of men fight for breadcrumbs therefore fueling their sense of worthlessness and frustration. No wonder we are in such a mess.
Believing one person can have every single quality you’re looking for. It’s creating an ideal in your mind of some perfect person that doesn’t exist and always getting disappointed when reality doesn’t match fantasy.
I find that the issue with online dating is that people try to fall in love before the first date. I think as long as you're safe about it, the best way to go is to treat it like a blind date with the goal of just having fun to get to know each other. I've had several dates that I genuinely enjoyed myself, but either they, I, or both of us didn't feel the spark and that's okay, because I've filtered for genuine connections and I feel like I'm getting closer to finding a good person. I think men get the reputation for this, but i think proportionately about the same amount of any group is clueless about dating, about being themselves and about liking someone for who they are instead of treating them like objects.
Yes its best to become friends first, and don't listen to all this "Friendzone" nonsense people will try to give you shit about. Becoming friends will let you evaluate a person much more accurately then if you first meet under the pretense of romance. People are more likely to have a mask on in those scenarios and focus on the wrong things instead of finding out if your even compatible. Also becoming sexually involved too early will cloud both of your judgement and if you haven't established a solid foundation with that person and know them very well already it can complicate things very easily
What’s wrong with today’s dating world? What are your experiences? How can we improve it? Let’s start a thread👇🏻
I think the Western culture is such that men have been conditioned to only seek out casual relationships. Promiscuity is encouraged, incentivised and celebrated! Being intimate isn't viewed as special or sacred, as it should be. The women mistakenly think that to get a guy to commit to a relationship, they have to get physical! It's totally warped in my view. Both lose out, cos guys aren't connecting emotionally, and the women are putting themselves in compromising, uncomfortable, or dangerous situations. They are losing sight of their value, instead looking for men to validate them.They may also be constantly second-guessing themselves after being intimate with someone who has no interest or inclination to take things further.
Women needn't get intimate as a means of guaging interest, and the men should learn a bit of self-control and respect.
My experience, especially on the apps, has been that the vast majority of men are looking to hook up. The idea that women are just there to serve and gratify them is gross, selfish, and disrespectful but seems perfectly acceptable -WHY?!. I've personally stopped using apps altogether.
We're too disconnected. Nobody wants to engage because it's too comfortable behind the phone screen. Discomfort is truly terrifying right now. Search up the streetlight effect. We're all a part of it.
We all lack clarity, we are lost.
1st: Sprouht, I love your quest. I was married 34 yrs when my wife died 2 yrs ago, I have not dated...in this century. 2nd: The 'romantic Subway dinner girl' revealed some of what I learned about a meaningful relationship; You both have to keep putting effort into a relationship for it to sustain you both. Think of it like a bamboo raft, if you only compete for what you can take away to share with your "friends" beware, egos are like pandas; adorable but they only eat bamboo...it's like that. I think people want to sustain a portrait of what they imagine others will perceive as successful, that's a yacht to wrap your hopes around and will require more to moor than threads. Hope smaller the world is counting on you, little by little.
We can't improve it. Leave america. Let them improve it.
Social media and dating apps have started to commoditize dating. So people just view you as a profile or a number and not a human being. That’s why flaking and ghosting are at an all time high. I think I’m 2023 we should all make an effort to meet people in person. Go to social groups, join a sports league etc. Organic is the best way
Agreed!
Very well said, totally agree.
This said, people need to start a fresh, a clean slate & put past social media dating behind them.
Be open & friendly to meeting organically, in person. Get out there etc.
I also feel that misogyny, feminism, sheltered upbringing are partly causes too
I met my now wife at work and we have been together 35 years. In those days flirting and innuendo was all part of office banter.
Now this behaviour is seen as sexual harassment and you can get sacked.
😢
Confidence is not the feeling that something will work out, but rather it's knowing that you'll be ok if it doesn't. This is the best advice I've ever gotten. It means you can internally process your thoughts and desires and decide to pursue something without attaching a needed specific outcome to it.
Love that, thank you for sharing!
Love that!
Thanks for sharing!
Very wise. Maybe 'strength' is a better name for this quality than confidence. People watch and read life coaches and try to SEEM confident.
How do I reach that point tho? I’m incredibly extrovert and super confidence with my people, but if I’m with a strnager then I’m just a fucking wall
Everyone’s standards have gotten sky high, while hardly anyone can realistically meet these standards
Agree. Super high unrealistic expectations.
Males are not hypergamous
@@colbalt95 Expecting vvomen to be faithful, not single mothers and not gold diggers already is impossible standards in today's dating world. In all honesty says more about the low quality of these chicks.
Everyone = women
Exactly.
Although honestly, it's not not that people's standards have become too high --- more like too absurd, too plastic, too shallow. A checklist for the best shiny packaging.
I even found myself caving and watching makeup tutorials, despite not enjoying makeup and previously only wearing it for a job which allowed the frivolous cost to be written off taxes. And then I saw a video about AI filters and how angry men were that they could be tricked, and the comments section was a cesspool of seething misogyny and unfathomable entitlement. Snapped me right out of the make-up mind***k and the idea of dating at my age. I'll just stay celibate until I can move to a place where sexual encounters can be done by appointment as a legal business transaction with criminal bg checks, clearly established boundaries and expectations, and no one's time wasted.
Bonus if I can market myself to guys who yank it to centuries old works of art and thus still avoid makeup!🙃
I feel like a lot of us have become so used to being alone that even though a part of us wants someone in our lives, we are terrified to step out of that isolated bubble and let someone in. It feels safe to be alone even though that safety somedays is suffocating
Yep... Even when I go on a first date that went well, I end up getting super stressed at the idea of actually getting close to them... And I usually run away.
Me too. A Relationship is a lot of work.
I like solitude too much , I prefer the company of other species ( my cats & ferrets ) , to the vast majority of our own species.
@@noewantstosleep Ikr, I can relate
I feel like we’re all just exhausted
We need to bring back activities, hobby clubs, and social gatherings. A large portion of our social interactions is through a screen.
No Kidding . But Feminism killed all of this now . Most Men now are MGTOW ! Too late now . Men just Don't trust women ! truth !
How?
It will never happen such times are coming fast
I realised that God is the only medium for such beautiful gatherings take for example in church or temples, those places you can feel the joy you know and I know it's all possible because of God❤️
@@grizzlymm what about a soccer game mate?
I literally have no idea how anyone gets into a relationship nowadays. On vacation I’ll walk around and see everyone my age looking at their phones. There’s no way anyone would even start a conversation with me and my friends. They just stay in their bubble. I hate dating apps but I’m not seeing an alternative other than dying alone.
Still single? Want to travel? Take a trip to Loreto with me, have the time of your life.
Speed date! Or if you see a person you like buy them a drink. Ooooorrrr throw a rock at them
Dying alone ? No. Dying with Robots. They will come to the rescue. Also technology will probably allow you to have a child as a male froM your DNA only.
Lol. "You and your friends". That there is exactly the problem. You're intimidating the boys away. It's hard enough to get rejected by a girl but rejected and laughed at by her friends too? Perhaps if you weren't a narcissistic asshole a boy would talk to you. Oh well. Dying alone seems to be your conviction.
Dating is based on the curated images you present of yourself in today's world. Its all vibes and aesthetics, bruh
Having returned to the game after many years being out of it, I can confirm that yes dating is ridiculously hard today. It's damn near impossible. It doesn't feel like it's acceptable to approach people in public anymore.
That sounds terribly sad, but even outside of a dating perspective I understand. We need unity as people again
Exactly this, women think you're a weird creep if you try to approach them nowadays
And don't dare meet someone at work like my father and mother did. That's not woke.
No they don't, if you do it right they love it, I always do it
Women: "I like meeting guys naturally out in bars or whatever" "Just shoot your shot guys!".
Also women: "Creeps who hassle and objectify women going about their business are disgusting".
The “it was fine.” reaction to the blind date was B.R.U.T.A.L.
I was sad for my man, she looked so disappointed. But he kept smiling though.
and with bro sitting right there, god damn
@@evan12697I think that was her roommate "Dennis" not the blind date guy
I hear “It was Fun”
I'm surprised nobody else talked about it in the comments. That was what stood out to me the most in the video. It's easier to take all these risks when it's someone you already have a deep connection with, and so much harder to get to the point of having a deep connection in the first place. I don't think this is something that people who don't have issues with dating understand. I wish the guy followed up on it further.
Everybody is insecure, some are just better at hiding it than others.
I agree 100%.
🎯🎯🎯
Everybody is more insecure than ever today because of many fatherless homes and kids being pathologically held back from facing real life so as to develop resilience and self confidence that isnt gonna come from stupid participation points and being coddled and too preoccupied with meaningless online activities that are basically an endless cycle of dopamine chase after dopamine chase.
the secret to happiness is not giving a shit
Or they express it in different, less obvious ways.
The dating pool is just crazy. Many are in search of this perfect person forgetting they ain’t perfect either. I think two people who agree to be together, who are committed & has the desire to pursue the best in the other person - life would be better.
I really liked that birthday surprise ❤
I'm 29, no beard, have autism, never had a girlfriend, & live in the suburbs of Houston (a car-dependent traffic clogged corporate wasteland) And there's no young adult girls even living here! The Texas suburbs are full of old people or families with kids.
How am I supposed to get a girlfriend or friend with benefits? And moving is out of the question, I'm broke.
Yea but as men we should be allowed to have standards too. Just cause we aren’t the hottest doesn’t mean we want someone not good looking lol
@@kennypowers1945 Ture that. If I wanted I'd go for every second women I see. But I don't do it as I'm looking for a very specific woman and actually are not ready yet. I need another 1-2 years.
I really wouldn't get my hopes up because many women go postal seeing a man they hate looking for a woman to settle down with.
@@SlashinatorZyou aren’t lmao
Women on dating apps: There's too many options.
90% of men on dating apps: I have absolutely zero options.
I tried Tinder for a few months. It was making me depressed and angry at women. I deleted it, and instantly felt better. Now, I would be very reluctant to even date a woman i met in person if she told me that she uses dating apps.
not to mention that the focus of a lot of the people who use those apps tends to be on hookups and casual relationships, which isnt ideal at all for someone interested in a romantic relationship
@Gryffindor Prefect Im a bisexual men (yeah, a torture) and dating gays is just as exausting as dating girls.
All the gays I have matched are damn weirdos with unhealed traumas and women instead of asking how are you they ask you how tall are you. Both men and women had reject me because of my sexuality because "bisexuals cheat more" (I will never cheat, NEVER, I will never forgive myself for that) It's tiring and honestly, Im just gonna meet people in real life, I need to stop being shy and grow some balls.
@Gryffindor Prefect Do you think is easier or harder for gay men?
I met my love on badoo…. But talked to a lot of people first and it was pretty wild
I also had to get rid of the bloody app as it made me feel totally worthless. It’s a disgusting environment
Man even though all of these comments are sad to read because it’s people struggling, it makes me feel better that I’m not alone. The world can seem so isolating because we focus in on a small minority of people who seem to have it all when it comes to relationships but we forget 95 percent of people are in the same struggle as you are. Take care everyone and don’t give up x
Thank you! I hope this new year 2024 will be filled with kinder, more compassionate, and understanding women arriving into my life. My experience with college dating was hell. Nothing but getting blocked, my emotions toyed, getting ghosted and losing many female friends drifting apart. Even though I have been growing and evolving a lot, not one incredible woman bats an eye at me. USA sucks lol.
@@christiansnaturestudio6599 totally understand friend. I've been there. It can seem so unfair but youve just got to do things that make you happy, socialise and don't isolate. Just hang in there and do your best x
@@guitarreilly That's why moving overseas is a goof route to take
@@guitarreilly well have fun being lonely forever 🙃
@@christiansnaturestudio6599 huh?
I've deleted most of my social media platforms because they were making me unhappy due to what it's become. In terms of dating, there's little to no genuine connection. I've also decided to not chase love cause it has a habit of ending in a ball of flames. The best thing for me to do is just focus on being happy for myself. If love finds me, great. If it doesn't, so be it.
just find some good friends then instead of forcing yourself
I just do me, I don’t even hunt for woman like I used to and seek their validation: total waist of time. Im perfectly fine being single
I could have written all this myself.
Jesus is what we all need companionship with people or not
That is actually when you end up meeting the right people to date/connect with. :)
After almost a year of having an absolutely miserable experience of online dating, I've deleted all my dating profiles and I'm now looking at ways of getting myself in the real world. I'm really happy for people who've found love on these apps but they're the exceptions rather than the rule. The whole experience is weird, and trying to find a partner in a sea of random people all asking how your weekend's been with 80% never replying back is the definition of madness.
😂😂😂😂😂😂
Same over here!
Good luck! Don't give up!!! It's important to be and stay open. It took my husband 54 years to find me, but once we met, we are inseparable.
Lmao facts 😂.
@@nadiab7764 how was your weekend?? 😂
Dating apps have made the joy of dating excruciating painful. I feel for you young uns, having to deal with this. Back in Old Man Tommy’s day, dating was a joy. Met all my dates at parties, the shopping mall, through friends,etc. What’s even worse today is, even when you’ve met someone and think you’re free of the dating apps, the dating apps are still out there. Which means you’re always just one swipe away from being single again.
Omg so true 😭 i have experienced this first hand
Two of my best male friends on this planet were guys that my female friends were chatting up in public while I was about. There's a whole vast universe of interaction that people are missing by not doing in-person interactions the way we once did.
Yup man I feel the same, the master cheat code hack to life, quit all dating apps entirely & being extremely happier it mas mind blowing, only met women in real life and everything happened so naturally, was much more enjoyable
Dating apps are for pushing men to suicide
Aw women created this disgusting environment and now they're sad men don't want to play anymore, GO CRY
too many people these days dont know how to go from the "fun" phase to the commitment phase of a relationship
I never get to the "fun" phase to begin with 😂
I don't date anymore because I have sporadic depression and anxiety I don't want to put someone else through. I think people are considering real problems now the they didn't in the past.
@@acegikmFunny that you're in that comment too, but what makes you think such a thing? ;o The right people will have enough patience, regardless of having a relationship or not. There are so many anxious people out there, but for some reason I mostly find those people funny af, since they actually try their best to make me laugh or make me feel like I am worth something. It really is completely fine, as long as you don't shrug off everything in life. And with everything, I really mean *everything* Even if that spark of hope is sooo small, so tinyyy, that tiny bit of hope can change so much. I really wish the best for you! And if things don't go well, I won't run away from the comment section. No matter if it's days or months, I'll gladly hear ya out! ^^
They know they just don't want to. Most women will be riding it for 20 years, and even if they have children they might still move on to the next guys again.
maybe the "fun" phase is the problem
Does anyone else feel like we are witnessing the end of humanity slowly unraveling right before our eyes? The rise of social media and technology unnecessarily complicates human communication more and more, each passing year. There was a time - probably around the early to mid 2000's - when dating apps actually worked, and at the very least made it possible for people to meet without too much hassle. People could actually message each other without having to play matching games and sidestepping algorithms. The same can be said for the job market, and the process of finding employment. There was a time when technology worked for humans. Now it feels like humans work for technology.
Very good observation, indeed.
i feel the same way
I’ve been trying to find a girlfriend since high school and it’s been hard for me because everyone is on their phone and I am 33 now Sucks won’t we just go back to the old days when there was no cell phones and Internet so people can just walk up to a girl or a guy and they won’t be stuck on their phone that’s why they can’t find a girlfriend or boyfriend they need to put the phone down And delete social media and go back to the 90s when there is no cell phones
@@AbelSesmas I hear ya! I notice many people not even looking forward when they walk. Phones have definitely made it more challenging to engage with fellow human beings in person. What a weird time we are living in.
It's the end of societies that follow the western culture. Not all humanity. Muslims are doing ok untill they are mass murdered or bombed by the west.
I have a good friend that fell in love with a woman from another country. She was a colleague of his brother that stayed in his parents home while she was doing research work in the US. He socialized with her a lot , but never dated. Two years later he could not get her out of his mind. He boarded a plane, and flew 5,000 miles to profess his love for her. Twenty five years later they are still married today. The moral of the story is when it comes to love you have to put it all out there. The only failure is the failure to act.
Awh such a lovely story, thank you for sharing, lights up the hope inside of me ✨
Oneitis is a severe condition
Most women don’t respond well to men that profess love, well at least in the west that is
Awe that’s beautiful
@@redditor7548 How the hell would you know? You're a redditor.
I met my wife 30 years ago this July. I was playing in a band at a bar that she just happened to go to with her friends in a town an hour away from where we both lived. My guitar player knew her, and introduced us between sets. She was shockingly beautiful, and I’m definitely not a typical good looking guy, but I loved her bold, unique style, so the first thing I said to her was “I like your shoes”. We chatted a little more and when my band did our next set she danced on stage next to my drum kit. At the end of the night I asked her if I gave her my phone number, would she call me. She later told me that the fact that I gave her MY number, putting the ball in her court to call me, plus complimenting her shoes, made her want to see me again. She called me the next morning! She asked if I knew who it was, “of course!” I responded, and we made a lunch date for the following day. We moved in together very quickly and were married by that Christmas. We have been in love ever since. I am so lucky that she decided at the last minute to go to a weird bar in a faraway town that summer night, 30 years ago.
Gorgeous love story ❤
L❤VE this story! Thanks for sharing!
It had nothing to do with her shoes or how you behaved that day. It's the fact you proved your social status, you were a musician performing in public. A man without status, it doesn't matter what you say or do, she's not going to call. As a man, you cannot afford to be weak, broke, or boring; you either build up your value, your status, or you die alone. Women don't have to worry about that, they're born with intrinsic dating marketplace value; women face the opposite problem, where they run out of time, and the years after 40 they're treated like a broke statusless 20-35 yo man.
@@AutisticMorty I was a 21 year old skinny longhair working in a shitty cover band in a dive bar with only a dozen people in the audience. My “day jobs” were working at a Pizza Hut, painting houses, and working at a comic book store. I didn’t have a car, and had just gotten a drivers license two weeks before I met her. Yeah, I had “status”. I can confidently say she loved me for who I am.
Congratz man, stories like these are always warm to read :)
One of the most wholesome content I’ve seen in a long time. Thanks for addressing this and making us feel human. Dating is not that complicated, yet we can be so focused on the ways we think it works that we might even forget to notice the little signs around us and enjoy the fun of getting uncomfortable and vulnerable.
I think dating is best because if it has effort of understanding to each other and respect towards each other
And iam person who still believe in understanding someone with effort respect and time and for me emotions are still precious
Dating in this generation is horrible because everyone is either stuck on their ex, have unrealistic standards, and have an entire roster of people in their contacts.
Also, there are a lot of grown adults who aren't good at communication.
My communication skills are far from perfect throughout my college career, my social skills have massively improved and it was a bumpy process
It's made dating hard and cheating easier. There are so many people who are already in relationships or married who are on dating apps.
Welcome to America. The underdeveloped country
Or they can’t settle down. I hate how everyone these days want ”open relationships” or be ”friends with benefits”. Why is it suddenly so hard to find a normal traditional relationship? 🤦♀️
@Snofey1 I can't even get a hookup, lol 😂 either
the key is to never be obsessed with anybody and be confortable with yourself. Self love is the most powerful thing, people will always fail.
Self-acceptance*
cope
@@iiCounted-op5jxsthu
At 30, I can testify it’s such a waste of time. If you reach that point, might as well quit dating and at least walk away with your dignity.
Bruh
I am living alone for 7 yrs and couldnt get a quality relationship but i feel happy for the people that find love. If you found it, take care of it cherish it and nurture it.
You are loved and so naturally you attract it❤️. May your next chapter be fill with love, spicy living hot sex, joyful laughters, cries, living, transformation, elevating to your higher self, and spreading that love. Know that you are chosen to be part of this life & everything you desire YOU CAN have. You’re seeking love, something that’s great for this world, so of course you’re going to experience that. That kind of energy spread😝🤗
Seek it from God with gratitude and before you even ask God, this universe and everyone/everything in it is ready to aid in making your thoughts into a reality.
we are in the same boat, are you "me" by any chance?
@@magniskythat’s bullshit, stop feeding these people lies.
@@RS1xT bullshit. And god doesn’t exist
thats stupid. i don't take advices from loner
There's nothing you can do about the people you want not wanting you. Life is hard when the relationships you do have access to (friends, family, partner, etc.), don't reciprocate.
You give and give and show you care, and never get anything in return.
No one should be marrying people that they aren't really into. This is something that the older generations did and I never understood it.
@@petersmithyy4556 They probably married because the girl got pregnant. Happend a lot in the 60's and 70's, etc. Some were religiously arrainged by family. I am sure they were *into* each other, that's why they conceived a baby in the first place!
Take away social media, dating websites, OnlyFans, and let's all, both men & women put our phones DOWN and start glorifying being "Average" and being "Blunt" and honest with what we want that way no one's time is wasted and then maybe, the dating world might have hope in the future.
its simple delete exactly those things and smartphone and everyhing normal. So who is going to make that happen?
It doesn't work like that sadly. People forget that life is BRUTALLY selective. Many many members of humanity didn't even procreate. Many kids have died in famines and many people were born out of wedlock. Our minds have been intoxicated by Disney stories so we think that *happily ever after" is the absolute standard. Newsflash: the standard is, you are born with a certain hand dealt, your genetics and the way you express your genes in the upcoming years will determine what you will look like, the society you actively participate in will decide, if you are attractive or not, your status will determine your financial success. This is the harsh reality we live in. Life isn't a fairy tale, it's a battlefield
That's not going to happen, in fact it will get much worse with the advent of AGI
This will never happen
The destruction that all this has caused if ended immediately would take generations to iron out...Wouldn't be just put down your phones and end your accounts and shit goes back to normal. The amount of psychologically damage at this point is astronomical.
Absolutely. Social media has ruined dating but that doesn't mean you should give up. Avoid dating apps and you'll be surprised on how people will be less picky.
Honestly I blame people mostly, yes social media has created this context where you have to be "perfect", and it has rooted itself in people's minds. People are afraid of failure and rejection, but if you don't fail and get rejected, you don't learn and change. Ask any scientist about experiments and they will tell you they rather see failures in the beginning rather than success so that they can void ways of not experimenting that way. Same is true for us, whether being finding new friends or seeking romantic relationships, if you can't find your flaws and reason for rejection, you are not learning.
Very true!
Meeting organically can’t be rivaled - it’s what true attraction is all about - the inexplicable. Connection, scent, confidence, a look in the eyes, style, a voice, a laugh. Sorry but can’t outsource something that human to technology.
it's not that 'They are too picky'
sometimes im pretty picky myself LOL
Yeah I think, as a man, an underrated part of dating is trying more in the real world where you have some form of agency as opposed to hoping for a match on some app, where only pictures and a few words are the sole factors.
Getting rejected (potentially a lot) is part of the process, it's surprising how rarely people mention this. I've dated people in the real world who wouldn't necessarily have swiped right on an app.
And yeah looks do matter but dressing according to your style (doesn't have to be fancy could be streetwear, casual, whatever but it needs to reflect you).
Something that took me a long time to figure out : you always need to work on yourself but you're most likely good enough to get going, fear of rejection is normal but shouldn't be crippling.
To be honest, I gave up the dating thing and plan to stick to the "single" mindset. People nowadays are so superficial and think they deserve the best man/woman. You get what you deserve, not what you dream. I tried countless of times, took my time to know the person and never worked. For those who are asking themselves "Should I date in 2023?", my advice for you is "No, you should not, instead, focus on yourself and improving your mindsets. Reach your goals."
Love this.
Just don't close yourself off to it if you would like a relationship at some point. I agree you should work on yourself and the right one will be attracted to you. Thats what happened for me at least. I was trying so hard to find a SO and then I just decided to work on my self and focus on self improvement and making platonic friends. This made me feel very comfortable not letting toxic people into my life and not making any concessions.
Eventually I found a women who became my best friend, we were nearly inseparable for around 6 months while we had deep conversations with no expectations for romance on either side (Neither of us were dating for the same reason of self improvement). After that time we knew each other so well that I knew she was the one.
We've been together for almost 10 years now and its been the best relationship I've ever had. Built on mutual respect and knowledge of each others past. When I finally talked to her about being serious we were both ready and knew we could completely trust each other.
So yes focus on yourself and be open to new friends and experiences and you may end up with the relationship you always wanted.
That's just a cope.
I've reached all my goals except owning a house, because your not allowed to own one in this day and age with the insane cost.
I don't get how it has to be either or. You can work on yourself while dating, of course, if your going through hell, it would be better to avoid dating completely until things get better.
Air buds aren’t doing us any favors either. I see people at the gym and even the library wearing them. It keeps anyone from saying hello to them or them saying hello back.
For a second I thought you were talking about Air Bud, the movie about the dog playing basketball, lol
Exactly
sad but that also means "leave me alone"
You discovered the secret code of people wearing headphones/buds. It means leave me alone this is my Happy Place. Girls in the gym wearing headphones don't want strange men speaking to them. Girls in the library wearing headphones really REALLY don't want strange men talking to them
I think one big problem not addressed here is: Social Anxiety. You can so clearly see how your friend is ridden with social anxiety. I know because I have the same problem sometimes. And let me tell you: You can look like Henry Cavill and still be full of anxiety. There are usually psychological and sometimes even organic reasons for that beyond "feeling or looking good". Some people are anxious their whole life and never realize they're just intolerant to certain food or had some subconcious child trauma or literally thousand other reasons. I think we should address anxiety the same way we address depression and other conditions: methodically with help of modern psychotherapy and medicine.
Social anxiety comes from internet and spending too much time using technology to TALK.
Having seen life before internet and after, the change in people has been unbelievable!!
People used to talk to strangers in the street.
@@LabRat6619 I completely agree. I used to spend a lot of time on the internet and have been doing self improvement over the past 3 months. I've spend more time getting to meet and talking to people in real life that my confidence has gone way up. I'm still less confident than a lot of other people I spend time with, but the amount of confidence I was able to gain in just 3 months is unbelievable. I spent years with social anxiety unable to talk to strangers or get out of my comfort zone without being able to change. I was completely unaware how much change is possible within such a short time if you just work on improving yourself instead of accepting your fate.
No man, main problem in the west is the Dick Riding generation..... All women in Canada and other western countries, especially white females have 5-6 dicks at reach simply one text message and she is jumping on one.... Why would a man bother wifing up a woman like this?
Listen man, I get the whole anxiety thing but those things will only worsen if one does not do the neccessary things to improve it.
We have access to phones and internet now, right? Why arent people looking for resources to help with their anxiety? There are several videos online to help better it. Maybe we should also address that as a society we spend too much time on our phones looking for garbage content online. Instead of focusing on the things that matter.
Moreover, spending so much time in front of our screens have really contributed to isocial anxiety increasing. People lack basic social cues and emotional intelligence overall. All it takes to approach somebody is being kind and smile. Everybody gets nervous, that is normal. People will notice your nervousness and its OKAY. We need to make the necessary steps and the more we do it, the better it gets, I promise you.
@@jackiesanchz You're right that there are a lot of resources online to help with social anxiety. Most people with social anxiety are aware of this. The problem is though that knowing the things that are taught in those videos isn't enough. Knowing isn't half the battle. Actually implementing the tips from those videos into your life on a permanent basis is the hard part. Most people with social anxiety lack self discipline and unless they manage to discipline themselves to overcome their fears, they won't be able to just make permanent changes to their life that easily. I'm saying this as someone who finally managed to get through all of that.
From someone in a relationship for 16 years...just remember that people change with time and age. Things happen in life out of your control...deaths, illness, kids, job situations, looks. If you're willing to help each other and work through anything that's how people stay together. Don't waste time with people who don't take relationships seriously. And having a sense of humor! The only thing you shouldn't put up with is any form of abuse.
Great advice, absolutely true. People need to be able to meet each other where they are in life. When my wife and I first met I was very young still (22) and still was figuring so much things in life. Nearly homeless and not in school and struggling with undiagnosed ADHD. She was patient with me for so long giving me all the support and time I needed to thrive and now I'm doing much better and have gotten much more of it together.
Later in the relationship she struggled with depression and anxiety and it was my turn to be the rock and support. Relationships are give and take and you have to give people time to grow sometimes are heal from trauma. As long as they are still fighting for the relationship and responding to your needs when you communicate them you can make it work even in the toughest times.
@@TheParaxore Finally yes, sensible people! Relationships are in fact give and receive and it's crazy to me that people tend to forget that. Being in love with someone isn't just that warm feeling you get, but also involves you and your partner willing to push through the hardships together. Communication plays a big factor into it as well, the lack of communication will only cause more problems, that's why I believe people need to open up with how the feel. Of course not full on trauma dump in one session just open yourself up about issues when the time is right and have a clear and open mind for whatever you or your partner discuss.
Kids are generally within your control lol.
@@TheParaxore Yes. Building a relationship requires planning and effort and a lot of communication. People just expect relationships to work miraculously.
Or women with BPD or depression. Trying to date any woman with those things is dating a ticking time bomb.
The woman’s last words at the end are everything: you have to be happy with what you’ve got.
A relationship won’t help you fix your relationship with yourself. No amount of being with someone can make you happy on its own, you need to make your own happiness.
What can be scary is leaning into the power and freedom of being single. You feel like you don’t need anyone any more. It’s a liberation, and intoxicating. Curiously it’s that kind of non-needy energy that attracts people.
Dude thats it! I am such a non-needy person but if I want to, I could have a girlfriend most of the time realistically. I am very grateful for that although I did not find the one for me. One of my best friends is pretty needy and he struggles in getting any girl at least...
Basically … you’re both lonely. Ok.
100% this, work on yourself and when you feel content and are making good progress you will attract other likeminded people who strive to be the best they can be and are not afraid to admit when they are wrong. This is how I met my wife of nearly 10 years and its been the best relationship in my life.
It’s the attitude to everything. You don’t need to be happy about every outcome, but you have to accept that you can’t get a lot of things. But you will get some things. So be content with what you have.
@@TheParaxore I am so happy to hear that!
The ending made me tear up, knowing I'll never have a girl be that excited to see me. Been single for my whole 33 year life. Every girl I thought I was building something with ditched me for someone else. I don't want to date a girl who's been with tons of guys in her 20s only to settle for me now. I missed out on teenage love and now 20s love. Yet standards are just becoming higher and people are getting more flaky. It's not worth all the effort just to get heartbroken again.
brooo I know it’s sad, but don’t give up! I believe someone is out there for you, you just gotta find them :) and even if you don’t, for some people it’s better to go solo! Just don’t give up just yet!
@@chloe79437 c`mon, don't lie to him with those romantic comedy Hollywood BS :) . @BlazingsNL , just don't deal with women and do whatever else you like.
I am super jealous as well
Don’t give up you skank! Work on you be the best version of yourself and keep trying 💪 I too was stuck in this gross dating scene but found a fcking angel in hell
Youre good bro.
Glow up, stack your paper and be a G
#yourewelcome
I hate online dating. IF you're not 98% attractive, you're either gonna get ignored or get likes/messages from the worst low level types.
thats correct
What is low level types?
So let me get this straight so I can understand you better; YOU are ugly, but dont like it when people you find ugly want to message you or talk to you? Your own logic disgusts me
if i was you i would explain why i look like that and interrogate them about how long this will go
My point exactly couldn’t agree with you more brother
Do u see insanely attractove men only dating where you are? The men I see are 6 2 and usually look less attractive then girl amd basic. Like an accessory
"The best thing you can give someone is your attention"
That women absolutely nailed it. And this goes for women too. Show your partner attention. Listen to them. Show that you care about what you say and don't just make it about you. Remember the important things for them. Do that and the rest will take care of itself. Good looks, great sex, money all subside when you have someone who is truly invested in your life.
I’ve found women want way too much of an upper ground on attention (cue the game of no message back, ever, unless you double, or triple text or message first). They don’t want to keep attention in the middle, it’s unattractive.
@@THunt-ss4hyIf she "no messages back" bring it up casual next time you meet in person _hey, btw what's up with our conversation? I bore you to sleep? lol_
That's all you need, acknowledge that you noticed and confront it without going overboard. If there's pushback or some kind of disrespect drop her like a bad habit, it's a sign of more to come.
This is good to know. Somewhere I forgot this and thought that I did not want to be intrusive with my attention, since that is how I survived childhood.
I gave all my attention to her and she ripped it😢
Yeah I did all of that and I got friendzone. Realised I was too naive to believe in such thing as love and attention.
At 33 my dating life is complete. I would rather live whats left of my life with dignity than be in a dysfunctional relationship or run the rat race of dating.
I'm 34 and I never dated...
@@Aenygma_ Bro I'm almost 35 and I do the same thing... I hire them for intercourse, hire mistresses for fetishes, and go to massage parlors for happy endings... Cheaper than dating any modern self-entitled chick.
@@mrfixit8776 aww I am sorry dude.
@@mrfixit8776 When you're done though, do you regret having spent the money? Like post-nut clarity, "shit that was worth $250?"
@@zusk8556 yeah sometimes when the provider wasn't that great.
Wow I wasn't expecting the personal angle at the end. It was beautiful. I'm a hard hearted cynic and I was touched. This is the real thing. Never let it go. Trust me I'm 54 and I know. That doesn't happen often in life. Once if you are lucky. You look super right together.
Lovely post.
Glad to know there’s a real struggle out there. Been single for 9 years, wasted most of those trying to meet people on apps, always ends in ghosting, had a second date once. Didn’t meet anyone for the last three, guess covid didn’t help. Lived in a country I didn’t know the language and had no friends for for the past year on a work secondment. I’m now 35 and pretty unsure of how to get out of this situation. Confidence and experience are both low. Being single this long often just feels like I’m a huge red flag. Feels like I’m starting from scratch
Don't worry bro, you got this.
I feel you, bro, but you can't give up!
You got plenty of time. I'm in your exact shoes at 44. Been single for 4 years. It's a loooong time I almost forgot what it feels like to be in a relationship. I took this time I had though to work on myself and love and accept everything. Now that i'm in a better spot, I can look for someone again. This time i'm joining classes, taking up hobbies, and going to singles events. I have one app left, Hinge which is just a supplement.
Ive been single for 13 years and that relationship was only for 3 months, I am still an outgoing person and can approach women in bars and clubs but ive not had much luck, it's a real confusing one when you like yourself but others aren't into you enough. I got dates and pulls easier back in the day.
I feel you mate, i've also given up on dating apps for the same reasons and been single for 6 years. It's not easy out there for the average man.
I was flirting to someone I found at a dating site , because he was cute. Knowing he lived so far away , I didnt think we would have met. One day he decided to fly to my hometown. Now we've been married for almost 9 years. His action to just see me in person changed everything.
Me too! My husband was a foreign exchange student from Poland living in Southern California doing his graduate degree. I lived in the next county. We never would have met if not for the dating site. Together 7 years and married for 3 years. I now live with him in Poland and we have a baby ;)
dating is easy for women (if you don’t have delusional standards)
@@spotscorner6040 nailed it.
@@spotscorner6040 now imagine how many guys have done the exact same thing and got rejected - the survivorship bias is fucking DRIPPPING on some of these comments
@@kevinsedwards If he didn't he'd be a creep for travelling so far.
Also seems to stem from people generally feeling unhappy in themselves. This unhappiness is held within a relationship. Once they have a relationship and the buzz has worn off they realise they are unhappy so blame their partner.
Get yourself sorted out first, because your partner can't fix your unhappiness.
What if you wake up and realize it’s too late?
It’s better to meet someone through mutual interests.
Or through mutual friends
Still not enough
There is a dichotomy which noone is aware of.
A) On one side you have a group of people which feel they are spoiled for choice so it may cause choice paralysis, frustration and continuous search for a better option. So these people may always doubt their date if there's something better and
B) The other group are people who despite the seemingly limitless options they are unable to even get one date, because perhaps they don't qualify as suitable enough partners for the current standards of society. So these people are left without a very basic human need, intimacy, affection and a sense of self validation.
It's certainly a very severe social issue like poverty, inequality, etc. that goes completely undetected
I guess everyone needs to let up off of incels then
It goes deeper than 99% of people realize. The truth has been lost to the winners of history, the world is being systematically destroyed from the inside out, it’s been getting worse every decade.
Generations of the most wealthy, the most sick and twisted, the most depraved rulers of the world have turned it into a breeding ground for hate. They sow dissent into everyone. every culture, religion, and country is pitted against each other in a battle to the death without the inhabitants even realizing it.
For example, everyone is so busy fighting whites and their supposed privileges that they don’t even see how their own race is being ethnically cleansed in the background, they don’t see how the destruction of white people is just the beginning of the destruction of everyone on earth.
If you want to fight it, you have to put aside your differences and unite against a common enemy, the politicians and business that run your country and their schemes to make sure you stay segregated and suffer the wrath of crippling debt and isolation from the people and things you care about.
What’s more important, the color of your skin and the spread of a culture that already exists and thrives in its own place of origin, or the survival and respect of all cultures regardless of their artificially inflated privileges and more importantly, their people
That is an intelligent and polite description of the current basic dichotomy. If a young man feels strongly enough about marriage he should go overseas for it. Western women are as a general rule, not especially feminine, extremely prone to divorce and frankly not pleasant to come home to. In our base social mores, it is highly consumerist, impulse control is disparaged in favour of encouraging endless gratification.
Of course it's all a form of degeneracy. In our post-1970's culture, self discipline is not admired and praised (except perhaps in sport). Women are not absolutely necessary for an ambitious man to achieve fulfilment. Of course MSM promotes women as morally better then men. And women don't want unambitious men. There's another dichotomy.
I've been single since 2018, Feb. 2018. That same year I started the gym, a business, travel, my raptors won the championship in 2019 lol etc. etc. My life has been INSUMOUNTABLY better since I stopped playing society's game.
5 years later and I can tell you without a shadow of a doubt, be your own person, work on yourself, heck take yourself out. When was the last time any of you took yourself out for steak, mashed potatoes or lasagna lol go on weekend trips and pamper yourself! And above all, work on your spirituality, you will not regret it!
It’s true and I know where you coming from. I basically did that all my 20s and I’m 29 now and as years go by , you do realize as a human being, you have this need and there’s nothing wrong with it in having a relationship with a girl you have some connection/vibe with and spending quality time together. It’s really a good feeling . My few relationships I had was when I was 15 then at 18 for a few months then at 23 for a year and a half. After that been always single and sleeping around here and there but then I realize it wasn’t my thing and that I’m a relationship guy
I can relate. My last relationship was 2018 as well. Since then I just focused on myself and self development. Through just focusing on myself, i met a girl who was interested in me. She asked me out and now we’re dating.
Gross My raptors, you make it sound like you sleep with basketball players.
Spirituality yes
Sounds miserable and lonely. Giving me cat lady vibes
The first girl was spot on it’s better to be friends… doesn’t mean the friend zone, they’re very different things. Just getting to know people makes it easier, meeting at the bar I wouldn’t agree with but starting an after work activity is what you should do to help you to build yourself socially and confidently.
Being friends first is fine if you both already find each other attractive
It definitely is.. but imagine dating someone and then after the first date she says, "lets just be friends." I get turned off by that. I've been in situations where I keep trying and I get signals that she likes me, but I end up getting used and its a waste of time.
being friends and dating ( getting to know eachother) is different boss man
Very fine line with the friend thing. I've been friend-zoned in the past, and I try to avoid that now. Once you're there, there's no getting out. You can take things slow, but there needs to be that attraction, there needs to be some sexual tension from the jump.
@@MrKrushgutz to an extent. I always say this , the best way to know someone is when you both are already dating and getting into a relationship. You get to know more about each other and more intimacy. When a guy and girl are friends first, the guy will usually put a persona and will try anything to qualify for her so basically he will be political correct
Problem with dating apps is that people aren't accountable for bad behaviour. It's like the 90s dater said, ghosting was a disrespectful thing to do back in the day.
Bro, thank you SO MUCH for making this. I am very strongly of the opinion that social media is poison and hate dating apps. The more people realize that meeting each other in the real world is the healthy approach to relationships, the better off we'll be. I have tremendous respect for your courage.
Plus we need less people to be addicted to their phones in public spaces
Courage 🤔
I’m 36 and I really don’t date anymore. At least not like how I used to. It’s too tiring. But I am open to just going out and sharing space with people. I find that when you’re in a natural, neutral space, it’s easier to get to know someone. Might not go anywhere. But still wouldn’t hurt.
I’m definitely never going back to dating apps.
That's how it used to be. A community where you feel like you belong, a place like your home or hangout place, school or church whatever.. but IG and dating apps kinda fucked everything up. People gotta get off SNS and dating apps. It's not for the most.
Yep same been doing that for years now myself and I'm completely content.
After you turn 35, all your matches in dating apps are pretty much the leftovers from a cheap buffet.
Here in Brazil this sad reality is the same... many people alone waiting for the perfect person....
I'm 40 and I'm done with dates
You're doing good work, bro. Being born way before the social media high, I really dislike the idea of online dating because its just become swipe swipe swipe ego boost. Young people, just meet organically, let it flow.
I love that you are helping your friends out. Some friends won't take a chance on setting up a friend because of how it could affect them, not considering that it could turn out well for their friend.
Yeah, but the way he did it was BS. Having the girl on camera first put so much pressure on her to be nice. No way she thinks he’s a nine going on 10. The I have a boyfriend thing had a good chance of being fake too.
He's not really helping his friends out- so much as he's TRYING to help his friends out. The road to h3LL is paved with good intentions. He's full of hopes and dreams- he's not full of realistic plans rooted in historically proven methods.
I never drank, didn't have many friends or a social life during college. Mix that with relocating to new states/cities for jobs. I was feeling depressed as the apps weren't panning out the way I expected. Many people around me were already in relationships from people they knew. I went on a few dates but nothing ever panned out.
Fast forward, I'm 31 and have a daughter. Of all the places I met my wife inside a Laguardia Airport terminal in NYC (we both live in Dallas). Never thought in my lifetime I would meet anybody in the circumstance. Life works in strange ways.
Keep your head up and don't miss the world looking at your phone.
Hey! Could you please elaborate a bit more on what "I met my wife inside an Airport terminal" looks like? Did you approach her first because you find her attractive? Or did you just awkwardly bump into each other?
@@DuckisLS I'm also curious to know
Good advice on the phone thing
I’m 5’10 I’m not meeting anyone bro lol it’s over
I wish more women would spend less time on their iPhones and more time smelling the fresh air of nature and great people around them
I am 44. I used to do dating online way back in the early 2000s when it was just about meeting new people and it was actually better then than it is now. I hate meeting people online these day. I have never met so many weirdos before in my life! I rather meet people organically but once again social media just made people really socially awkward. When I do meet someone, I do not invest my time in a date. I do a nice meet up for coffee/tea and from there I can depict if the person is a nut job…lol! I do not invest in dates anymore unless the person and I have hit it off really well when we did the meet up. I don’t know…dating is just way harder than what it was years ago.
😂😂 nut job
I'm 43 and most don't even respond back. The few who do are either fake accounts (Idk why anyone would even do this) who send me unsolicited/too good to be true msgs, or trainwreck with teenage kid(s). I don't wanna do the whole "shut tf up! you ain't my dad!" thing. I shudder at the thought. I make $160k, 6ft, and getting my house built on my land. I'm stable, presentable, and everybody likes me. I'd say I'm an avg dude and if I had to rate myself, a 5 or a 6 if I wear a suit. But women 5 and higher are always looking at 2-3 levels higher than them. They need to just drop their expectations and not live in the clouds. I'm almost thinking about changing all my profile pics to flexing my cash. I don't wanna meet anyone who got interested because of what I have, but at this point, I might as well.
@@steveh5307 when you're 43, most women of your age would have children
@@steveh5307 Steve, I am 46. I read your words twice and slowly. Let me just say this- you're spot on with everything. Yes, because you're doing good financially, it'd be helpful to "use" your cash these days. Not at all encouraging you to keep blowing tons of it but yeah, it's gonna come in handy, particularly NOW. Society has changed so much all of a sudden and if we don't do it now, when would be a good time! I understand you're mature and definitely way more than me since I have some other issues that have smacked me hard in the brain but felt like writing to you feeling an instant connection. Wish you best, be safe. God bless you and all of us to become better folks. 🙏
@@krapivakrapiva7871 I didn't get what your observation has to do with Steve though. Also, he's 43. While I'd agree most 43 year old women would have kids, Steve would definitely know what he wants. It's just that he's done with his observations for the most part and is contemplating his future moves. There's no reason to believe he'd be looking out for folks only 40 or so. It could be younger girls. He's financially stable, just hasn't "used cash" to attract girls. Np. At just 43, he can do it now. I see no issues here. I am 46 and would do the same after facing the same issues as he did. I am financially stable, 6 feet tall and not a lout. Respect for other humans never waned in me, it's just that folks like him and me are fed up with these nonsensical games. Best wishes.
I was in a long distance relationship once. Planned on flying to Europe and surprising her for valentines day. Turned out she had already met someone else who was richer or whatever. Luckily she told me before I booked flights.
I had a long distance boyfriend, I was willing to wait long for us to meet and was excited to have my first kiss with him and everything. Then he said he wanted to have the possibility of meeting other girls and ghosted me. Completely put me off from long distance.
@@starrilysky That's an awful situation to be in. Completely understand why that would put you off ever wanting to do the long distance again. I'm in the same boat as yourself. Either break up on good terms before one goes the distance or discuss potential Polyamory (open) relationship.
Y’all should be in a relationship.
Sounds like you dodged a bullet there.
I appreciate you showing the perspective of dating in the 90's and pre dating apps versus people now. Even the older guy seemed so much more eloquent than the younger generations. Very telling
I think also one of the reasons dating feels impossible is because people don't even know why they're dating anymore. The point of dating is to find someone reasonable that you can start a family with. That immediately means concessions and compromises have to be made. If you don't want a family why not try to swing for the fences and who cares if you're forever alone.
Also the point of dating is to one day to not to date. It doesn't seem like people are interested in that. They seem to want to serial date until they die or something. Again this just leads to people not compromising and finding someone good enough.
Bingo! The whole problem with dating in this day and age is what is the end goal. If there's no end goal, then you just keep dating forever.
@@minty000 instant gratification, sex before a true relationship is established which only really is secure at marriage if done correctly, is why. So many people want sex but they don't want compromises and years of developing a relationship
I agree 💯 percent.
Some might just want friends and not looking for a lifetime mate right away. Dating has become too exclusive, so people feel trapped and might shy away from that. If you're looking only for a mate to settle down with, that certainly should be communicated early. The lack of becoming friends with similar interests or goals is a lost art.
@@shirleyashanti3031 In my opinion men and women can't be friends. There's always something that gums up the platonic nature of the relationship (even if its just the spouse of one of them).
I know a girl who told me loves going dates meeting on apps, she taken to fancy restaurants etc and never once had to pay anything, no intention of going out with any of the guys she meet, she said too much fun, being taken to dinner etc, doesn’t cost her one cent. She said she got presents, flowers, shopping etc 😮
Went on one date with one girl like that last year , I didn't ask her for a second date when I knew what she was up to. Dating around getting taken out for meals every other night by different men with no intention to get with them
She's a terribly toxic person, looking to use poor men for free meal tickets. This is why you split the bill on a first date. Tell the waiter as soon as you order a drink or whatever you want a separate bill for what you ordered. Leave her with her own bill. If she appears to be disinterested or toxic pay for whatever you ordered and walk out. I don't like it when people take advantage of one another in such appalling ways.
Its rare - I actually do not like to eat out with someone I do not like...
Those opportunities will soon end. She can*t do that in her 40s, 50s,90s, 110s.
I have heard of someone doing this too, but TBH seems like a dangerous way to anger some and get stalked by others. Just buy your own food and drink.
Multiple reasons:
-Women's standards in men have skyrocketed due to dating apps. Average women no longer date average men unless they're desperate.
-Modern feminism have made women more combative and masculine, telling them to put their career first before a family.
-Certain types of insane or hostile women seen in social media clips makes alot of guys too nervous to approach as they don't want to get labeled as a "creep".
-Pornography and video games addiction has destroyed the incentive for many men to approach and interact with women in real life.
-Alot of men are simply too scared to approach due to some women online saying "don't approach us".
-Alot of men have gone down the "black pill" rage where they basically resent women for not choosing them.
Just gotta correct you, black pill rage is not a thing, it is red pill rage, black pill is when you come to accept the **** of the world, sorry just had to I am a bit of MGTOW.
Black pill is good if you handle it well, but Red Pill rage is a real and bad thing, if you let it destroy you, you will be a angry terrible person that no one likes.
Average women now have been forced into the workforce and have had to buy homes alone, plan retirement savings alone, invest alone so they simply want a partner that is at least an equal financially and serious minded. Prior, women were (for the most part) provided for by the man. Now that women are having to slave as well, they expect a man who is at least at their level.
@@JenX422 Equality doesn't sound so good now it would seem, having to finally put in some effort yourself, you could swap women with men and what you said pretty much remains the same in the current economic state, but women will sure want my resources anyway, the best women will understand that both will likely be financially independent, just working together for things like food and housing, maybe holidays.
You make a point for good women, but many want a man who earns MORE then them and will provide for them, go on a date, good luck finding one who will pay for you, 25% chance of getting someone who will split, 65% will expect the man to cover and 10% will break all normal logic.
The blackpillers resent their own looks for not being chosen.
@@JenX422 I agree
I moved back to England after 16 years in Florida. I moved to a new area, a small village on the south coast. I joined walking, running & motorbike clubs in an attempt to meet new people. Joining clubs like these immediately gives two individuals some common ground which you may be able to build a friendship upon. I made lots of new friends, but I’m still single as I haven’t made the right connection yet. I joined a gym. I haven’t been to a gym in about 20 years. They’ve changed so much. Everybody wears headphones & isn’t interested in any kind of interaction. I think social media & dating apps have ruined the art of human interaction. I don’t use either of them.
In the USA this is a problem, but in NZ and Australia it is pretty standard to partner up and get married. Almost everyone does it; it's quite rare to be single out here. If you're single, you just let your friends know you're single and looking and they'll invite you to parties and events so you can meet people. I don't get why Americans don't do this.
Can I go to Australia and help me to introduce myself to any Australian women's. Really helpful. Thanks
My friends and I stopped approaching women years ago. I doubt any of us will ever date again..
Dating is dead in the USA.
This is a load of garbage. Australian here, having lived overseas and spoken to other people who've lived in other parts of the world and moved to Australia. Australians are a uniquely unfriendly and VERY nepotistic, clique orientated populace, one that is severely judgemental of all outsiders, even of other Australians. It isn't anywhere near as easy in reality as this person is making it seem, unless you already are apart of a huge friendship group, you're essentially alone. Trying to break into friendship groups as a new person is almost impossible due to Australian's general ignorance and fear of difference.
Time is irrelevant, lunchtime doubly so. @attraktive
WHy, because the 90 % of single women are all dating the top 10% of guys on the dating apps . leaving all the other men invisible .... Men are totally afraid of marriage because women will divorce you 80% of the time and take you for half or more of your life long accumulation of money and stuff and if you have a child or children she will get those 90% of the time and all the father gets is to PAY her child support ....and under threat of Prison if you lose a job and fall behind in those payments .... Women wouldn't be stupid enough to fall for that and men are finally waking up and not falling for it now either . Would you jump out of a plane if your parachute didn't work 50% of the time ?
Bro you are doing big things, respect and love for that. The world definitely needs more love and light
I've always loved the idea of doing activities together and bonding over a shared interest as a date. I do best in that scenario. I wish more people were into that. Also these parks you go to to interview people seem like a great place to meet someone in real life.
I have so much respect for a man when he actually comes to talk to me. It’s very sad now how things are. I’m 45 and the internet has made life so complicated. I personally will not use a dating app as I would prefer to wait and meet someone naturally.
I was born and raised in Montreal but have been in Ghana for the past year taking care of my dad. Your videos have helped me so much man. Such amazing content!
I was also born and raised in MTL and am now out on my own living and working in another country, these videos help me a lot with the homesickness! Sending you love :)
sending my best to you and your dad!
I’ve never once regretted asking a girl for her number but I always regret not asking. I have also never had a negative reaction, and I’ve asked a lot of girls. Just give it a shot dude you got this!!!
its just not worth it. all the girls in my area seems so boring
@@Miserere860 That's the thing, 90% of them aren't worth it.
@Avareee92 yeah fr social media made dating so dumb and both sides have too much of high standards
I don't even need to ask someone out to get a negative reaction.
You could also GIVE A GIRL YOUR NUMBER!
Its not just about rejection. Its also a lot of social media narratives that scare guys into asking out girls.
Facts, I literally don’t want to approach or even look at a girl because of the fear that I’ll look like a creep or a pervert.
MeToo has definitely made a lot of guys more scared.
Yeah, I'm just 165cm (5'5") and I think I'd be more confident would I not have read so much about girls wanting tall men. Most girls I know are my height or smaller, so I wouldn't have expected that to be a problem. Trying to ignore this, not much I can do, but it's in the back of my mind.
@@dennisjungbauer4467when they get older and realize they were too picky you’ll be appealing. In the meantime, focus on yourself. Get your self esteem, self love, hobbies, and finances together and you were surely find the one right for you.
@@dmystfy Try not to get to happy based on someone elses misery, that never really works for a good person never wants to see someone else suffer.
I would say focus on yourself and level up make friends and look better as well. Try again there are poepel with condition and mentalhandicap physical handicap its not a one size fits all equation out there.
For me personally, I’ve learnt once you possess an enthusiastic spirit in life, then good people get drawn to you, things start to happen, you believe in yourself etc. it doesn’t matter about the dating apps, social trends, structures on how to do stuff and what to say. You’ll automatically know what to do once you have full self belief. If you have a bad interaction, a bad experience, brush it off and move on. We’ve all known people in life that have this spirit, we all wished to emulate it. We can all do this.
I may be old-fashioned but I think the internet and dating sites/apps encourage people to put their best face forward to the extent that they are not accurately portraying themselves whether they realize it or not. I met my wife and got to know her face to face. We were good friends for years and I knew her well before I decided to ask her out. That personal element of getting to know folks in the real world and seeing how they interact with you and others is important and is all too easy to gloss over when the approach to dating is online.
True but a lot of these American men are acting weak and immature and don't seem to know how to act around women. It's kind of embarassing.
Also they watch way too much porn and have unrealistic standards. A lot of men think they have a ton of options for love and relationships when the reality is they just don't. I had a guy friend who was nerdy and insecure blowing up chances with gorgeous and successful women. He refused to work out, be nice and get on the level of these women. He would end up mistreating high quality women and then he would complain how he couldn't find anyone. Lol.
I think most women started checking out of the dating scene. They are either single, some are looking for men overseas, some are becoming sexually fluid, and some are becoming lees feminine due to the way modern American men are acting.
Old fashioned should be the way dam it
You were extremely lucky she didn't get with someone before you did.
@@dmace81 Possibly. No approach to dating is perfect. That is a risk I was willing to take and do not regret it now. To each his/her own. Cheers
The perfect person could be right in front of you, but you'll never see them if you don't look up from your phone.
Yes!! I go out all the time and look around and try to smile at guys I’d like to talk to, but they’re staring at their phones and look unapproachable so I just drink my damned drink and go home alone again 🤷🏻♀️
A lot of women I'm interested in dating are glued to their phones and Airpod Pros
Being active , joining like-minded groups is good enough for me. I enjoy being solo , spending time with my dog . If that's my destiny - so be it 🌻
It’s even worse in middle age. I was married for 20 years. Then dated for a few years, hated it, and have now been alone for almost 4 years and I’m learning to be happy on my own.
The dating scene is really harsh on two types of people; young men and older women.
Young men are viewed as weak and worthless. They have no experience and get the little brother treatment.
Older women are viewed as washed up, and used. They’ve been through life, and have lost their spunk. They get the grandma treatment.
Why you divorced your husband?
This is such a chronically online response and very very untrue.. I'm ready to bet you've never heard people in real life say stuff like this.. especially about older women.. you could literally be a 75 year old woman, and some man is still gonna show up.. come on now @@arkad6329
@@dodji582 he spent every waking second he wasn’t working playing video games and totally ignored me.
@@arkad6329 so as a middle aged woman I need to look for young guys? lol. Gimme my cougar card. (And I still have tons of spunk!)
Yesterday, the girl I was seeing for a few months and I had A LOT of emotion for broke up with me, and I've been in such immense pain since. Your video was the sweetest medicine I could ask for; A lantern in my dark hours, shedding light and brightening my heart. Thank you very much!
Keep your head up brother you’re not alone. My gf of 5 years who I thought was going to be my forever left me. It’s tough but focus on yourself. Everything will fall into place 🙏
I got broken up with the day after my birthday. It was all of a sudden, she blindsided me. It's been about 3 months now but she still crosses my mind and I feel like crying. Hang in there, we'll all make it out of this sadness eventually
Loved the ending. Made me cry a little. You’re a great guy. And, really romantic!
For most men, when rejection is all you know why would you expect anything else? Isn’t a definition of insanity repeating the same action and expecting a different result?
'Love yourself bro'.
@@PlayerOneDS If I love myself, why do I need someone else to love, or love me, I already do it myself.
No. That's a quote falsely attributed to Einstein and Ben Franklin. It's just made up out of thin air
Rejection is apart of life.
@@VenusManTrap-777 a part
Suggestion from a woman: Instead of asking a woman for her number, GIVE HER YOUR NUMBER. The man I loved for 20+ years, I reached out to him. He always(only half- jokingly) said "I;m the shyiest man in the world!"--and he also said if I hadn 't asked him out, we'd never have gotten together. Only CANCER ended our wonderful relationship. a year ago...& I still miss him terribly.
Should he not be "her type", no matter too short, too skinny, too whatever, giving out his own number "unwantedly" would be seen as harassment - or worse. You girls have set up a system since Harvey's lynching in 2017 within which You are the only ones to actually approach whoever You want to talk to Yourselves. Men can't do that any more. Meh2 and all those toxic, misandist ideas emerging from it, no matter where You look at - men can't do the first step any more.
Bless you
I understand why you wouldn't understand but this is pretty bad advice. Women do not initiate contact with men, most girls are only attracted to men that do all of the work. The girl will not call or text him if a man gives her his number. Better advice is to not treat asking for a number/social as the only reason for approaching a woman, you will leave a much better impression if you spend some time talking/asking questions before and after asking for their number. The number should almost be an after thought.
Sorry for your loss
This is horrible advice
I've hit 70. When I was a youngish man. Dating or "going out" as we used to say in the UK had it's diffiulties but people weren't neurotic about it. I thought dating apps and modern technology would make getting together much easier for young people. Obviously not. I never asked a woman out because they met a list of requirements. Just if I fancied them.
An abundance of choice is not always a blessing. It definitely did the opposite for most men. Women can pick out the top 10% and they eventually get dumped after sex but that's after they have already wasted their 20s and 30s.
@@hahahahaha7824 It's true. Why would a woman date a guy who looks worse, makes less money, is less skillful, basically worse in every way than one of the 100 dudes she saw from the list. It's literally like throwing out resumes that aren't as good as the other. Extremely toxic and horrible way to date.
I think it's because when you meet someone in person you can totally get a vibe whether good or bad. But when you're on an app, people are literally only choosing for what the person looks like on a 2D surface. There's no sense of personality or charm or how they smell or how they laugh or how they put their hair to one side in a sexy way that gets you going. It truly is like shopping for a human being and it's creepy.
Couldn't agree more.
@@life4trinity The worst part is that women are only attracted to the 1% top guys, and the only reason those guys are so attractive to them is because they treat women like objects. Those 1% of men also have an abundance of choices, they have no reason to settle down with a girl. So you've got all these girls that go around thinking that all men suck, when they haven't even given most of the normal guys a chance. Or worst case scenario, the woman success at locking the 1% man down, but then she tries to change him because he isn't treating her well, or because he cheats with another girl (since its hard to break habits, and the top 1% have gotten in the habit of fucking around). The same reason that drove her to desire the guy ends up being the same reason for the divorce.
Great that you had a surprise visiting her. I had a similar experience back in 2021 and that girl was mad (we had a 3 month "talking stage"). I think that she was ashamed of me, but her reaction gave me a clear understanding that I should move on. I felt really bad but had no regrets because it was a pretty courageous action (especially for me). In my late 20's I rethink the essence of rejection. Now I "translate" a girl's no as a favor because I don't waste time, money, and emotions and put effort into the wrong lady. Isn't great? She saves all that stuff for me. Guys, keep trying dating, change strategies, mindset, meet people without expectations
You have to get used to being rejected which is the hardest part. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose but you'll never know if you don't play.
I’m a guy who made a fake Tinder account pretending to be a woman. The results were… disturbing. I now truly understand what’s going on here. Hearing about it is one thing, but seeing it with your own eyes is something else entirely.
What did you find out
@@Lauren-gs7bn How desperate men today are and how few options they really have. I used a random low quality stock photo of an average woman (about 35 years old), and within an hour, I was already at 99+ likes. A lot of the men weren’t even unattractive. It’s no wonder women today are so arrogant.
@@Lauren-gs7bn Thousands of matches a week. Most guys have no chance with an average female on Tinder.
@@JS-it3dx geez that’s crazy. My experience was horrible on those apps
75% of those profiles are scammers/fake accounts.
Probably more on free Apps.
A real waste of time.
Dating has gotten alot tougher these days. Its awesome your helping your friends meet some ladies. It always helps to have a wing man.
I wish i had a wing man. I have been cold approaching lots of women all on my own(some approaches did work out well while others not so much) I'm still single 24
The whole concept of compartmentalising romance, of meeting people with the specific intention of finding a partner, is so impossible for me to embrace. I only ever fell in love with women I knew for some time as friends or coworkers, because that way I got to know their real personality over long term and in different situations. With intentional dating, people put the getting together part first and already have a relationship before they know much about each other. This just feels so terrifying to me. I can't be physically intimate with a girl before I'm emotionally intimate.
It also inherently creates shared experiences and just feels like so much better of a foundation than just, well, looking for a relationship and then picking the favorite option. That sounds like shopping to me. Maybe I'm a hopeless romantic, but I'd rather have life write a beautiful story for me than just picking one on Amazon.
I think exactly the same: I used dating apps for a year more or less, but I always felt unconfortable about the fact that the goal is knowing for having a relationship (any kind of) and not only to meet new people. So it put on me a lot of pressure in trying to be "cool", and I got stressed about it 😂 I need a little bit of time to feel confortable around new people, and to express myself at (almost) 360°. so definetly I can say that I'm not a dating apps person
Good luck with that. Only disaster has ever struck going for girls with common experience.
@@samrosendahl392if you have common interests and they still aren’t interested that’s on them. Frigid lesbians
Everything that can go wrong absolutely does go wrong!
Spoken like a true gentleman. However women do not love men the way men love women. Never forget that. Young women love love and falling for their dream-boat. Usually Chad or Tyrone. By thirty yo they are getting down tintacks and will give a beta-provider a chance. The fly in the ointment is, you are never going to be, or will never be her "first choice". The Will Smith dilemma with Jada Punkett Smith. Jada is an alpha widow. And that dear sir, with a lot of window dressing, is how the sh*t generally goes down in the West these days. Just sayin' , you aren't ever going "to make her happy"...but you might get a couple of kids out of it.
confidence is a flow of energy not a mask
If you’re generally a social person, you will become a social magnate. If you talk to people, even people at work, school, restaurants, or a park, just try. The worst thing that happens is an awkward encounter, which as long as it isn’t harming anyone it’s okay! Don’t live in a little safety bubble your whole life.
@LauraMatsuda2020 Idk where you work or live but if you’re polite then you’ll be alright
Because of an ex-friend, I have a negative view of online dating. My ex-friend used online dating to distract herself from some core relationship fundamentals that she was missing. Because I have seen her struggle with relationships for 12 years, and she always blamed other people, it was hard for me to take online relationships seriously. I have also seen online relationships transform to marriages, but I didn't like how one person treated the other. Overall, I learned that regardless where you find your relationship, you need to do the work to become whole but not perfect. Whole can be about self-acceptance, kindness, ability to genuinely listen, maturity, self-reflection, and so much more. A therapist once told me it takes two whole people to make a healthy relationship, not two half people.
I've come to the conclusion that I'm not good with dating apps and I'm perfectly fine with it because getting to know people online is not natural. I'm also not into cold approaching because that seems even more unnatural as the woman is a perfect stranger to me and I to her, so the chances of it going well don't seem too great. Meeting people in person, making friends, and meeting women through friend groups have always shown to be pretty favourable as it pertains to dating. Just being your best and most authentic self and putting that out there can lead to the truest and most genuine connections and you can definitely meet the woman you love through that method.
I'm in the same boat as you bro. In-person is more valuable because you can see each other's body language, exchange energy/vibes, etc. On top of that, i've had better experiences with the girls i've met in person initially vs online initially. And i'm only 23
I’m 31 and been single for a longggg time. Dating apps don’t work for me because I find personality to be much more attractive than looks and I also don’t drink so there aren’t many social activities for me to meet men. I’ve just learned to be happy alone and hope someone will come into my life naturally.
There is no problem for women in dating if your standard is just reasonable. But for men, not the same. It's very hard.
I have one question for you Sophie
The days before we were really hooked on social media were amazing! Before the dopamine and the algorithm.... we were so present with each other, gas was cheap so we drove everywhere. Jokes were funnier because PC culture didn't ruin humor. no one texted because it cost like 10c per text at least so we would talk on the phone for hours and hours. sit in cars and listen to music, go on walks, dates, hang out in groups. it was the best! you met friends through friends. it was simpler times and we were just so much more present and content. we did stuff instead of sitting in the house playing on screens.
It just really feels impossible. It feels like I have no chance no matter how much I try to improve myself and make myself better it is never enough. People tell me to "Go out and talk to people" as I do and then I just get ignored or become invisible. I do the online thing and that doesn't work I don't have the looks. You can't just "be confident" when you've been put down all the time. After getting ghosted so much and ignored and not being able to get into a relationship for reasons I can't control I pretty much feel like giving up on dating...
Judging from your profile pic and the videos on your channel, I can PROMISE you that your looks are definitely not the issue my dude. You have great facial structure with hollow cheeks, a great chin, and a good head of hair all of which makes for a handsome face overall. Also, a lot of guys would kill to have your physique. I don't want to sound like an a**hole, but when people like you who are quite good looking and in great shape say they struggle with getting dates it's very hard for me to believe.
@TurboFisto Well I've definitely been single 23 years. If it's not face it's definitely height. I'm only 5'8 in an area people are taller than average. Dating apps I get 0 likes. In the bar I've had guys want to talk to me but no girls. I think that was only because of physique but many girls don't seem to care about things that you can change like building muscle. They care about genetics for offspring like national geographic. I'm going to read books on how to approach people better but I don't think that's it though. Being ever so slightly socially awkward wouldn't have me single for 23 years, would it? I really hope I'm wrong but experience and maybe bad luck points to me being right.
@@toastertoaster342 Not gonna lie the height could be an issue for some women, but I think you make up for it with your looks. Keep forcing yourself into social situations and trying to overcome the social awkwardness/anxiety. Also, you're only 23! I know it sucks right now not getting attention from women in your age range, but they're all either just hooking up with randoms from college or going after older dudes. The women you have to deal with now (18-23) are immature and lack any kind of idea of what they want in life. I'm 29 and I didn't really have success dating until about 2 years ago. Once you're near my age and you continue the self improvement route, you will have a much better chance of finding someone. Women typically won't even entertain a guy that's younger than them, so your only options now are college girls and as I said earlier and everyone knows, they don't a give a f*ck about serious relationships at that age. Once your dating pool opens up to include women who are post-college and want to settle down, then you will see a lot more success. Keep at it and don't get discouraged with the circumstances as they are. Good luck brotha.
@@TurboFist0 Thank you so much! I will keep trying.
@@toastertoaster342 judging from your profile picture, you strike me as someone who may be on the spectrum. Is it possible that you have Asperger’s syndrome? If that’s the case, that would explain your dating troubles.
Being creative together is a great way to get to know someone. Think of a mutual interest and come up with a “project” to do together.
Being afraid of being accused of something, people have criticism skills but not conversation skills, no more common interest baselines, no social skills. Used to be you could just NOT be looking for anyone but you happen to have conversation starters (an album you just bought in your hands, a book you are reading, a nice fashion choice, etc) and you could ask where they got that stuff or recommend something and a conversation would start. You could either make a friend or a date. Not anymore. Kindle, iPod, and bland fashion, etc.
I feel like “work with what you have” is one of the best pieces of advice I ever got. I’ve found that, even though it decreases as we get older, teenage years can gate keep you from meeting people outside your circle for many reasons.
I’m currently in sixth form and I’m learning to keep searching outside for clubs etc whilst still accepting the opportunities that I have within my own circle. Although things may disappoint, it’s good to accept the good bits about your current friendships, since they do provide something - just a different level than you want. In those instances, it takes some mental strength to adapt to their level of care so both parties are happy (or leave if they actually suck)
I relate to this so much as im also in sixth form. I joined a group outside of school when I was in year 10 and it felt like a breath of fresh air. I love my friend group so much, but it’s nice to socialise with different people too :)
Trevor is handsome, genuine and sweet. It is really attractive when guys aren’t full of themselves and a little shy. He reminds me of Roger Federer. ♥️ Keep us up to date how his dating is going. 😊
I totally feel Trevor bro. It was like he was reading my mind of how I feel when you asked him about asking that girl out. Like yeah, most girls are just being nice. They would absolutely say no if you asked them out. If they say yeah, give it about a month before they wanna move on… sometimes I feel like it’s kinda threatening to them to have a guy hit on them, so they act in whatever way and make up whatever they can to make them go away. I think more often than not, they’re just being polite instead of being genuine as a defense mechanism, so it’s often like “what’s the point?”.
The safest bet imo is to get to know someone in a space where there’s some sort of shared interest/values (like shared religious affiliations or recreational activities)and then ask them out after getting to know them a bit over time. This will in turn allow particular chemical reactions to spark and create a sense of bond and attraction that makes the whole process smoother and increase the likelihood of longterm success.
This is exactly how I feel! Shared interests to start and differences to keep it interesting
As a kid of the 70-80s, and painfully shy, I wish I had an opportunity to meet girls on line. The fear of approaching a girl was paralyzing and the fear of rejection was even worse. Unlike dating apps, the people you ask out were usually in your school or at work and you would see them every day after they reject you.
Can you speak to the ghosting? I just can't believe people did not do that "back in the day."
Well, if the call isn't picked up or the parent comes out & says so and so is sleeping or isn't home, repeatedly making excuses, that's a form of ghosting. I think back then, it was just called fibbing & avoiding them at all cost 😂
You can still do online dating
Trick is to start with a girl who won't say no because she does not get may offers, build your confidence whilst having a girlfriend.
@@LabRat6619 That’s not sincere. I wouldn’t want someone to do that to me. Plus, if you know she will not say, No, it defeats the purpose.
People need to start a fresh, a clean slate & put past social media dating behind them.
Be open & friendly to meeting organically, in person. Get out there etc. Treat others how you want to be treated & don't be rude to others, just for approaching you.
See it as a compliment & be kind.
nah
I had a hard time with dating in 8 years and now I'm not considering to date anyone, anytime soon or maybe never. I'm learning more about myself that I operate at my total potential when I'm single and I'm enjoying my own company more than anyone else. I don't know how things will be for me in the future but right now I'm just loving my hustle.
I love the thumbnail “I’m very single”. That’s an important distinction I should use when describing my relationship status.
Even though It is indescribably hard to approach people irl, especially for the first time, but its always worth it because you never regret approaching someone, despite how badly it turned out, but you ALWAYS regret NOT doing so, because you never know how its going to turn out, even if you think you do.
criminal charges, losing your job, shamed on social media creating embarrassment for your family. there is plenty to risk
@@ktowniecity7269 only if u a creeper that takes rejection wrong
@@wtfcomments2585 there’s too many examples that prove you wrong. Did you sleep past the Heard/Depp drama?!
Man I’m really old! The guy who said the last time he went on a date was 1999…I was married for 11 years and the father of three by then. I would say dating has never been easy, though. Each generation has had their own challenges. And a man’s fear of rejection is as old as time itself.
Pointless comment.
Wow! The answers I heard in your discussion was nothing like dating in my time early 1960’s. I asked girls at the beach for a phone number and nobody said no. I never had luck at bars, I think because then bars attracted desperate women, I hate desperate. Met girls working at the university but quickly found they were too popular, remember in those days college was 80% men. Finally, we had a birthday party at my rental house with 7 college guys and went next door to a small apartment building and wrote down the names of girls living there off the mail box. In those days telephone books listed name, phone number and address so it was easy to make contact. We invited a bunch of girls over to the BD party and none refused. And that’s how I met my wife. After a few months, I could she she wasn’t going to give up on me so I stopped seeing anyone else. She and I never went on a real date until after we were engaged. Life was certainly different then.
@@tomnietz4158 Vimmin are now hateful pricks who need to be punched in the face repeatedly.
Dating back then seems quite different compared to now, wow!
It was so good to see people from Montreal ❤ I’m a Québécois and had been living in Spain for a couple of years. I can tell you that it’s exactly the same problem here. I did some research lately to try to better understand the effects of dating apps, such as Tinder and the results are not encouraging. Basically, these apps are designed so that 80% of women are trying to get the top 10% of men, leaving 90% of men out of the equation. This leaves most women feeling rejected by men who have the luxury of choosing. On the other hand, 90% of men fight for breadcrumbs therefore fueling their sense of worthlessness and frustration. No wonder we are in such a mess.
wow!
It’s over
You nailed it 💯 !!!
which is why "all men are pigs" is hilarious, "all men" are those same 10% and the other 90% dont exist
Believing one person can have every single quality you’re looking for. It’s creating an ideal in your mind of some perfect person that doesn’t exist and always getting disappointed when reality doesn’t match fantasy.
I find that the issue with online dating is that people try to fall in love before the first date. I think as long as you're safe about it, the best way to go is to treat it like a blind date with the goal of just having fun to get to know each other. I've had several dates that I genuinely enjoyed myself, but either they, I, or both of us didn't feel the spark and that's okay, because I've filtered for genuine connections and I feel like I'm getting closer to finding a good person.
I think men get the reputation for this, but i think proportionately about the same amount of any group is clueless about dating, about being themselves and about liking someone for who they are instead of treating them like objects.
Yes its best to become friends first, and don't listen to all this "Friendzone" nonsense people will try to give you shit about. Becoming friends will let you evaluate a person much more accurately then if you first meet under the pretense of romance. People are more likely to have a mask on in those scenarios and focus on the wrong things instead of finding out if your even compatible.
Also becoming sexually involved too early will cloud both of your judgement and if you haven't established a solid foundation with that person and know them very well already it can complicate things very easily