Bob Mortimer - sniper's dream

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  • @gilwillia
    @gilwillia 2 роки тому +406

    “A sniper’s dream” is easily my favourite phrase of the last twenty years.

    • @isthisreva7878
      @isthisreva7878 2 роки тому +18

      Sometimes it just pops up in my mind and there is an unbreakable chain of giggling starts

    • @mileswilliams1585
      @mileswilliams1585 2 роки тому +24

      He worked with a guy who had a limp and they called him Sniper's nightmare

    • @rachael2908
      @rachael2908 2 місяці тому

      😂😂😂😂​@@mileswilliams1585

    • @alanbell6189
      @alanbell6189 Місяць тому +6

      Mine is the guy who worked in a factory called Keth, was called Keith but he lost an eye in an accident!

    • @NUTWAVE
      @NUTWAVE 19 днів тому

      Some people say I have a small head, including my wife and close friends. But now I feel a certain comfort in knowing I am a sniper’s worst nightmare.

  • @fannymunchkin2638
    @fannymunchkin2638 6 років тому +444

    '"Fingerprints on an abandoned handrail" is quite poetic. I might try to slip that into a conversation sometime.

    • @tonyhaskellful
      @tonyhaskellful 5 років тому +7

      Sure thing fanny

    • @nisarrahil8081
      @nisarrahil8081 4 роки тому +2

      I had, and it worked like a charm

    • @ll2240
      @ll2240 4 роки тому +6

      I use it to describe my ex.

    • @GeoffreyBronson
      @GeoffreyBronson 3 роки тому +4

      @@ll2240 I use theft and shrubbery for mine

    • @halfling49
      @halfling49 2 роки тому +12

      "Picking bits of pollen from a mouse's handkerchief" is also good

  • @ankitknight6304
    @ankitknight6304 7 років тому +291

    sniper's dream
    that was genius

    • @oriwittmer
      @oriwittmer Місяць тому +3

      Or the bloke that walks with a limp called sniper's nightmare

  • @billyfoster9087
    @billyfoster9087 Місяць тому +50

    The clever thing about bob is that he can make up stuff like that at a moments notice anyway, very hard to read if he's making it up or not, very unique and intelligent funny man.

  • @andyandrion9705
    @andyandrion9705 7 років тому +325

    Worked with a guy who walked with a limp and was called 'snipers nightmare '

    • @wotmate1440
      @wotmate1440 5 років тому +2

      don't get it?

    • @alexbenzie6585
      @alexbenzie6585 5 років тому +19

      Wot Mate I'm glad no one explained it to you you donut.

    • @wotmate1440
      @wotmate1440 5 років тому +3

      @@alexbenzie6585 fuck ya bro i was just asking

    • @thedunyadoneya2628
      @thedunyadoneya2628 5 років тому +28

      @@wotmate1440 think the idea is if you walk with a limp, your head is never in a fixed position and you'll keep ducking the bullets (of course, it would take a highly incompetent marksman to continue with this charade, but nvm) therefore "a snipers nightmare"

    • @ll2240
      @ll2240 4 роки тому +1

      @@wotmate1440 Do. Nut

  • @Jazzcodes
    @Jazzcodes Місяць тому +29

    Comedy genius! So many great lines! May Bob live forever!!!

  • @MeG-yt2nv
    @MeG-yt2nv 6 років тому +117

    We do beg your pardon but we are in your garden 😂😂😂

  • @jeffreyfreeman1615
    @jeffreyfreeman1615 Місяць тому +38

    I live in Middlesbrough and during our childhood years we did play games similar to this. So Bob is spot on. Brings back happy memories. Love listening to his stories.

    • @bobbyfunface4469
      @bobbyfunface4469 Місяць тому +3

      yep me too boro lad here👋 "garden creeping" we used to call it. And then it was "hedge diving"!

    • @fuccasound3897
      @fuccasound3897 Місяць тому +6

      @@bobbyfunface4469 yep me too; "garden creeping" and then "hedge diving" usually involved the houses with the thickest privet hedges on the council estate, who ever got the best "bounce back" was the winner, but the hedge often collapsed and was flattened. If you were unlucky there were old fence posts the hedge had been planted around, my mate 'Clanger' got a nail through his chin into the roof of his mouth, it was a 'good laugh tho.'

    • @neilm3955
      @neilm3955 28 днів тому

      ​@@fuccasound3897We called that Donkey Derby in my hometown in Ayrshire. Great memories.

    • @RobbieB2606
      @RobbieB2606 26 днів тому +1

      @@fuccasound3897 Bob, is that you? 😂

    • @stevepitts7998
      @stevepitts7998 26 днів тому +2

      @@bobbyfunface4469 Are you sure your real name isn't Gary Cheeseman?
      I did a hedge dive once and the home owner and family were saying goodbye to friends at their front door, so around seven or eight irate adults chased me down the road.
      Being only 14 I was a lot faster than them ... and I did have a hedge start 😉.

  • @alexreeve2366
    @alexreeve2366 2 роки тому +30

    Dream dinner party - Top of the list Bob every time

  • @ryanward3488
    @ryanward3488 4 роки тому +54

    I hope that’s all the information you need.....

  • @kaycamille1544
    @kaycamille1544 18 днів тому +5

    Probably the funniest natural gifted raconteur around.

  • @no-oneman.4140
    @no-oneman.4140 27 днів тому +15

    Bob, you are a comedy god. Katherine, you take my breath away, blimey.

  • @greentop7705
    @greentop7705 4 роки тому +24

    Bob on Lee's team with Mark Corrigan picking holes in the story is my fave WILTY episodes!

  • @johnvonhorn2942
    @johnvonhorn2942 7 років тому +60

    Bob burns bright

  • @jamesfield1674
    @jamesfield1674 5 років тому +65

    Fingerprints on a abandoned handrail sounds like a new album from Mulligan & O'Hare

  • @MeG-yt2nv
    @MeG-yt2nv 6 років тому +82

    Funniest guest ever

  • @UserName-br5zu
    @UserName-br5zu 3 роки тому +31

    Stabba, bagga, Neil overall and Jerry dungaree 😂😂

    • @thesolitaryadventurer
      @thesolitaryadventurer 2 роки тому +6

      There's a method to his names Jerry Dungaree is Mick Overalls son (is the dad a mechanic?)
      In another story, Davy Numbers was John Calculator's son (is the dad an accountant or a betting shop owner?)
      He's hilarious. Brilliant guy

    • @brendansmith3851
      @brendansmith3851 Місяць тому +1

      Staver

    • @johnmc3862
      @johnmc3862 Місяць тому

      Gentle Ken.

    • @vlogtwins6488
      @vlogtwins6488 Місяць тому +1

      Hedge hopping

  • @erenjaegerbomb8653
    @erenjaegerbomb8653 26 днів тому +3

    This is the kind of experience the Internet has deprived a lot of children of. Though it also gave us Bob Mortimer UA-cam videos. It's a real toughie.

  • @griffinzoo1
    @griffinzoo1 Місяць тому +5

    we used to play that game. we called it donkey in the garden. happy days.

  • @MACHOO179
    @MACHOO179 3 роки тому +20

    A mate of mine has one leg shorter than the other (old war wound) because of this when he walked it caused his head to wobble, we call him a sniper's nightmare. 😉

    • @ao8958
      @ao8958 3 роки тому +4

      THE ROCK listener? 😉

  • @MikeMcRoberts
    @MikeMcRoberts 25 днів тому +2

    What a national treasure Bob is

  • @danielconnolly8565
    @danielconnolly8565 24 дні тому +2

    “…I hope that’s all the information you’ll need…”🤣🤣🙌🏼🙌🏼

  • @noradosmith
    @noradosmith 4 роки тому +22

    That laugh at 2:12 is so wonderful

  • @SimonDover
    @SimonDover 2 дні тому

    Just imagine a night in the pub with BM deliberately talking crap all night.
    What an experience.

  • @eamonahern7495
    @eamonahern7495 Місяць тому +5

    "Cheeseman was very good at it" was what gave it away for me.

  • @simonlaxon9474
    @simonlaxon9474 Місяць тому +9

    And with this one admission, Middlesbrough constabulary could finally find closure to the 1983 - 1984 unsolved "peeking Tom" cases that plagued the town 😂

    • @neilm3955
      @neilm3955 28 днів тому +2

      Sergeant Bytheway?

    • @simonlaxon9474
      @simonlaxon9474 28 днів тому

      @@neilm3955 😂

    • @simonlaxon9474
      @simonlaxon9474 28 днів тому

      @@neilm3955 He had moved from Castle Douglas to Middlesbrough 😂

  • @davecrupel2817
    @davecrupel2817 4 роки тому +27

    This man is decievingly funny!!
    I love it!

    • @mwdyceffylgwaith2168
      @mwdyceffylgwaith2168 4 роки тому +2

      one of the funniest men in British comedy - he knows what he is doing

    • @markfox1545
      @markfox1545 Місяць тому

      *deceivingly. What do you think 'deceivingly funny' means? Odd phrase.

    • @davecrupel2817
      @davecrupel2817 Місяць тому

      @@markfox1545 he just leads you on with a somewhat casual story, and he tells it in a pretty casual way. Then he just hit you with a sidewinder that he comes up with on the spot. Like those absurd names. Catching you by surprise.

  • @leec6424
    @leec6424 23 дні тому +1

    Bob is so naturally funny its unfair 🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @krakatoa1200
    @krakatoa1200 29 днів тому +2

    It didn't matter how weird or crazy Bob's stories are, they're all true. wouldn't it have been great fun to have him as a school mate? I remember as a kid tying cotton on to door knockers in the road, and hiding behind a hedge and knocking the door, and watching the home owners looking around to see who was there.

  • @LukeLewisme
    @LukeLewisme 7 років тому +17

    Genius

  • @user-gn7ej6vt6b
    @user-gn7ej6vt6b Місяць тому +3

    This is comedy gold, goodness me, David Webb is also very funny, as is Lee Mack - outstanding 🤣🤣

    • @Wimpleman
      @Wimpleman Місяць тому +1

      His name is David Mitchell - Robert Webb is his comedy writing/performing partner in Peep show. I personally cannot stand Lee Mack, his ego is gargantuan

    • @BRP-2001
      @BRP-2001 29 днів тому +1

      Lee Mack not so much.
      Hes clearly intimidated by how comfortable Bob is in himself
      Macks quips are usually detrimental, and based on his own insecure perception of what is "embarrassing"

    • @JamoonXerxesSauber
      @JamoonXerxesSauber 18 днів тому

      Mack is super quick though, even if you don't like his style. Some of his comebacks are lightspeed

  • @ryanmattox7408
    @ryanmattox7408 Рік тому +2

    I’m now picturing Bob getting Rob, Lee, and David to do this game with him.

  • @mickhavermans7319
    @mickhavermans7319 Місяць тому +8

    Bob's comedy gold🫡🌟👏🏅🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @johnreeves5115
    @johnreeves5115 10 днів тому

    One word,,, genius 😄😄😄👏👏👏

  • @canadaclaret
    @canadaclaret 28 днів тому +2

    Kids that age invent strange games. I used to teach at a high school in rural Ontario with à small group of kids who would transfer into the school to begin grade 11 because their Dutch Reform parochial school stopped at the end of grade 10. Naturally, these kids stuck together. Most of the boys smoked à lot. While they had their smoke break between classes they would stand in a tight circle, like kids playing hacky sack, but they were playing à game of their own invention: one kid would take a small log, like you might use on a campfire, and throw it up high above the circle, so it flipped in the air like a juggling club. I asked one of the kids the point of the game. He said if you flinch, you lose, and everybody gets to punch you on the upper arm. I said, oh, so it's like Dutch Roulette. They started calling it that.

  • @DududududuSALIBA
    @DududududuSALIBA 7 місяців тому +2

    I think about this phrase once a week.

    • @ELTUK82
      @ELTUK82 Місяць тому

      Good man!!! That phrase makes us happy

  • @robschmitt9830
    @robschmitt9830 6 років тому +22

    1:46

  • @hexpsyche
    @hexpsyche 4 роки тому +21

    2:10

  • @austinreid5032
    @austinreid5032 Місяць тому +1

    I bet it was great growing up with Bob 😅😅😅

  • @KingNik1994
    @KingNik1994 3 роки тому +14

    if anyone knows any actual hobbits, it's definitely Bob Mortimer

  • @TheTororist
    @TheTororist 10 днів тому

    That phrase is now viral under every video of someone with a big head

  • @ericstevens2554
    @ericstevens2554 Місяць тому +2

    😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂love Bob hilarious 😂

  • @simonbutler5873
    @simonbutler5873 2 роки тому +7

    He’s fucking mint, funny as fuck

  • @scopex2749
    @scopex2749 29 днів тому

    'SNIPERS DREAM' 🤣😂🤣😅 classic

  • @mousetrap335
    @mousetrap335 29 днів тому

    A "SNIPERS NIGHTMAIRE " is someone with a limp ... class one aswell 😂

  • @stuwinstanley7546
    @stuwinstanley7546 Місяць тому +3

    We played a similar game in our youth if u played it today u wud get 6 months

  • @brinbrown9543
    @brinbrown9543 Місяць тому

    Bob!:))

  • @TransoceanicOutreach
    @TransoceanicOutreach Місяць тому +3

    Putin and Kim Jong Un are both snipers dreams, unfortunately nobody is brave enough to fulfil their dream.

  • @MatNewtonTrio
    @MatNewtonTrio Місяць тому

    Snipers Dream… 😂

  • @gedrooney9305
    @gedrooney9305 29 днів тому

    Hi Col!

  • @TheHungryTrollRawr
    @TheHungryTrollRawr 29 днів тому

    lol how was this even true?? I was convinced instantly it was a very obvious lie! Christ Bob Mortimer is a dark horse!

  • @bridiebracey
    @bridiebracey Рік тому +1

    😂😂😂

  • @jonasbergkvist1464
    @jonasbergkvist1464 2 роки тому +3

    Who’s the hot brunette lady?

    • @suakeli
      @suakeli 2 роки тому +51

      You misspelled hot brunette laddy, but he's David Mitchell

    • @simon_g_upton
      @simon_g_upton 2 роки тому +9

      Fairly sure that's Katherine Parkinson, check out "The IT Crowd" one of the funniest sitcoms ever imho

    • @ELTUK82
      @ELTUK82 Місяць тому +1

      @@suakelithat’s pretty good that pal 😂

    • @ELTUK82
      @ELTUK82 Місяць тому +1

      @@simon_g_uptonword to the mothership!! One of my all time favourites!! A fire…..at sea parks

    • @matthewphilip1977
      @matthewphilip1977 Місяць тому

      @@ELTUK82 Except they went and spelled laddie wrong.

  • @robin-kq7un
    @robin-kq7un 24 дні тому

    Never got the humour of Bob Mortimer and Vic Reeves - still don't get it.

  • @jelleludolf
    @jelleludolf 21 день тому

    What decides whether it is true or not at the end? Some ultimate god who can see reality? They can keep bullshitting til the end!