Didn't see my ex for five years. Welcomed her back in my life and the connection lasted for a few months before she withdrew again. She was cold for about four more months before ghosting me. Part of me understands her circumstances, the other part of me was hurt again and I deserve better. We should be able to give the benefit of the doubt to the complexities and idiosyncrasies of a person. But sometimes they're just a sh*t narcissist that feasts on the validation by someone new. Soaking up every compliment and all positive energy from one before moving onto the next. She's a serial drainer of life.
Your post resonated with me. We were apart 4 years from our first breakup. I Got her back in 2020 / 6 months later she starts really acting up. We barely made it a year and she cut me off in Feb 2022. I truly loved her & Im 98% sure she has Narcissistic traits and most likely Borderline. How you love me so much & cut off so easily is mind boggling. You do deserve better … they seem to walk away unscathed 😔
@@Naturalcorpse thank you for this reply ❤️ I didn’t learn my lesson since that post 1 year ago, I went back for more and got the same twice over. All the “therapy” she does and it’s not fixing her one bit. I just blocked her 2 weeks ago after she once again showed herself, even so much as declaring she cares for me. These types don’t even know what that word means unless it benefits them in some way. I’m thinking & hoping she doesn’t pop up again but I’m prepared to ignore her this time much better. Appreciate your kindness!
My ex went from loving each other so much to being so cruel even months later! I can't understand it and was left rhinking why! I never cheated. There were a lot of little fights, mostly about me wanting to be with her more! I wanted to settle down with her!
@doglover5519 tbh sometimes, all we need is to talk about it and give it time now. I know she cheated. She did the one thing she said she'd never do, lol And now she's done with me she's trying to ruin my life 8 months later! I wonder why we love the wrong people sometimes
These people are incapable of loving others. I think it’s due to selfishness and immaturity. They probably suffered childhood trauma or maybe mental issues while in the womb / at birth. They are about surviving and taking care of themselves. You can’t really nurture a healthy relationship if you don’t possess empathy or you are mentally immature. I bet if you were to treat them like garbage, they would chase you. They only respond to toxicity.
@kaybase6967 she is bipoler, and her mother cheated on her farther. I think something happened, she had a bad childhood, Her ex warned me she was narcissistic, and omg, did I pay the price for that relationship? Thank God I'm finally away from her. Even a year later, she still found a way to ruin me, lol. But it's done, and I'll never see that crazy woman again. I just wish there was a way to warn people about her.
Omg I’m going through this now No sleep at all. He had already checked out the relationship and was already moving on. Keeping in touch with him feel guilty so he’s been cold. I’m devastated and can’t eat or sleep but I left him alone.
Me and my ex have been broken up for 6 months. We tried to reconcile a couple months after the breakup but she still had not changed and it fizzled out. Anyways it’s been 2 months since we have spoken and the other day I had a girl over that I’m getting to know. Right when we were about to leave someone was knocking on my window. It was my ex, she was there because she wanted to tell me she has a new boyfriend and wanted to show me a picture.. I was like okay, I don’t care. She pulled her phone out anyways and showed me the pic of her and her new boyfriend then said all her friends say he looks like me. She tried flirting a bit before I switched the conversation to the steps we need to take for divorce (got married on paper for moving country reasons). Was the weirdest thing and don’t know what to make of it. She even asked me to come out side and I refused. Why would she do this? I think she is a narcissist, my only explanation
Yeah that doesn't sound normal at all. It sounds like she is trying to get you jealous but it's a very childish attempt. How old is she because that sounds like something a teenager would do..... Sounds a lil psycho but I don't know why she would do that. Unless we have her side of the story
@@misskay8373 thanks for the reply. She is 22 (I am 37). Big age difference, I met her when she was 18, but I met her shortly after being married for 10 years so I was kinda in a vulnerable state and eventually developed real feelings for her. Her side of the story is she cheated on me towards the end of the relationship with her teacher, who is 54…. She denied it and still does to this day but her best friend was the one that told me. I choose to believe my wife at the time but then one day when I was at work she moved out. Anyways this window thing was 3 weeks ago. Since then she created a fake account and tried following my new gf (who is private) on social media. I know it’s her because her sister confirmed it. She also showed up at my work 2 days ago asking about my dog, but she was civil and nothing else came from it. I had to see her yesterday at a gathering for her sisters niece and she did flirt a bit with me. She also told me she went to a therapist and was diagnosed as Bipolar. Which explains a lot… anyways I don’t know what her intentions are with me and at this point I have just given up and I am trying to move on.
Yes he was mean cruel mean only to me but very friendly to my friend Preeti and he was talking endlessly with her, nonstop,there was no space to remind him ,that i was there too,he didnt even looked at me,nor he talked to me 😢
She can't have been the person for you to not support you through that I hope you get the help that makes you better than the person she knew and makes it her loss
My ex cheated on me last year and I took him back but he refused to work on our trust issues. He told me that it was my job to figure out how I was going to trust him. He hasn't tried to make any effort. However over Time he did try some parts to give me the affection I wante. The only problem is that I started to resent him and I started acting possessive, I started having mood swings and treating him bad occasionally. Now he has left and said he can't do it. I'm a really horrible person. When he cheated he told me he loved the other girl and I have always been holding on to that. When I asked him for space he refused because he was scared I would leave him. But I feel we never got space to deal with our issues. But now he says he is emotionally and mentally checked out. But I've been going therapy even before he left and I was doing so well. I'm working on my business and making changes in my life but he says he doesn't care, he says he is done and I should move on.
i think i understand what your ex meant. i think when someone cheats or lies or betrays someone it’s really hard to prove to someone that you won’t do it again. what can you do to show that? it’s up to the victim to choose whether or not to forgive and trust that person again. it’s something that is indefinably proven because you could say oh well it’s been 30 years and you still haven’t betrayed me but you that doesn’t mean you can’t. it’s unfortunate and really hard but it truly is up to the victim whether or no they can trust that person.
Hey Clay, and everyone else. My ex isn't being mean cold or cruel, but our mutual friend said she's scared of me, and doesn't want to be around me "for a very long time" but still says I'm a great guy and wants to meet up and talk things over one day, and that the breakup was "all her fault". Our friend is trying to help me get her back, but hearing this makes me SUPER confused. How can I be a great guy, but have her scared of me, and what does any of this mean? Is this technically riding the dragon? Hot and cold behavior? We haven't messed each other since the break up, but we're both super close to our mutual friend, so I'm being told this stuff. Any help would be amazing!
The love of my life turned me into FWB. I don’t exist in his life outside of his house and has stopped ongoing communication. I need to heal and I can’t force to love. He is who he is.
I'm sorry.. I went through the inverse of that. The love of MY life left me after 5 years to get into a now actual committed relationship with a FWB she spent all her time with BEFORE we were together. She used to get angry at me for an old female friend heart reacting my posts on Facebook. She made me delete her. I don't talk to that girl at ALL. But she swore up and down this old FWB was never ever going to be someone I needed to worry about. She did me very wrong wrong there. I had depression and drug abuse/self harm with drug issues and that was her excuse to execute an otherwise extremely loving relationship
I don't feel anxious,. angry, resentful and don't need validation. I sleep well. I don't have it all figured out, but in a good place. A continuous work in progress. :)
Try adding a 8 month old to the mix and pressure was thru the roof thru covid and the kicker is there rather than seeking some sort of counseling to understand what are the issues instead she takes the baby and files for divorce and doesn’t tell me for a month rather tells me that we should go to therapy separately… It’s been 9 months I’m not sure I’ll really ever get over the way this went down ..
I been through in this situation, he's the one who cheat on me! we have a child , i try my very best to save the relation,i beg,pleading for almost 2 months and . but all he do is angry,saying nasty thing to me i feel like hes a diffrent person! until now those scenario playing again and again to my head. what did i do wrong?? am i wrong that i try to save the relationship? even though i was the one who got cheated on?? Yes i was very anxious that time who is not i just got emotionally . i really want to fix the relation what should i do,? he block me month ago on everthing !
Hey Clay, me and my ex met up and I felt like we had a nice time (he said so as well), he really opened up to me about some things in his life and we agreed to meet up again soon. Since we met up, he's been sort of distant though, our conversations have turned into me "interviewing" him and I don't really understand what happened and how to build an emotional connection with him now... could this be a positive pullback? It's only been a couple days since we met up, should I be giving it some time?
@@user-es5gx2di7h i'm just concerned that asking him anything related to the relationship might put too much romantic pressure on the situation ... we also haven't had a same team talk yet, it's just that up until now there's only been positive progress
I gave her the divorce, gave her the house, she has the kids most of the time like she wants, she monkey-branched to a party boy from her past and had him staying over before the divorce was even over, posting pics of them with our kids like their this pre-made family just add water, and now it's been over a year since we separated and divorced. She got what she wanted and yet, several times a week for the past year, she posts crap about how traumatized she is and that she's a survivor who's healing like she went through fucking Vietnam or something. Her dad abandoned her when she was a baby, mother is a toxic borderline with three baby daddy's who made her hypervigilant before she was in elementary and other traumatic things I want mention out of respect. And yet, I am the Alpha and Omega of all her trauma and problems in life and now she's trying to be some kind of "advocate" for woman. Our marriage was a roller coaster, really good ups and really bad downs and it probably needed to end as it did. But this narrative of a 24/7 waking nightmare and Narcissistic crap is insane. She saw me at the grocery store the other day and followed me back to my apartment because she was " wondering why I wasn't at work that day"...circling the building like a stalker looking for me. These women get what they want but NEVER move on. I sit and watch our kid play baseball while the rebound sits with her and my kids go hang on him and I bite my tongue. But I bring a girlfriend to the game and her crazy Mom starts talking crap and making comments during a kid's game and with parents listening. They're trash. They can't leave it alone and yet they got what they wanted...me gone, so what gives? I go radio silence and let her have her life and I'm dating beautiful, smart and fun women without a bitter chip on their shoulder so it should be win-win? It's at the point where I could sue for defamation but a part of me feels like even that would excite her and her toxic Mom. I'll continue to ignore and live my life but damn I really chose poorly in hindsight and hope she just moves on with her life and stops playing the victim.
Clay, My ex and I have been talking every couple months or so and conversation have been upbeat and positive. We saw eachother at the gym a couple of times and each time she approached me and we talked for a while and also has been positive interactions. Last night we saw eachother and she acted as though I was invisible. The time I saw her before that was only two weeks ago and that was a positive interaction with her asking me questions and being playful and warm. What are your thoughts on why she would be colder towards me all of a sudden during this paticular night?
Didn't see my ex for five years. Welcomed her back in my life and the connection lasted for a few months before she withdrew again. She was cold for about four more months before ghosting me. Part of me understands her circumstances, the other part of me was hurt again and I deserve better. We should be able to give the benefit of the doubt to the complexities and idiosyncrasies of a person. But sometimes they're just a sh*t narcissist that feasts on the validation by someone new. Soaking up every compliment and all positive energy from one before moving onto the next. She's a serial drainer of life.
Your post resonated with me. We were apart 4 years from our first breakup. I
Got her back in 2020 / 6 months later she starts really acting up. We barely made it a year and she cut me off in Feb 2022. I truly loved her & Im 98% sure she has Narcissistic traits and most likely Borderline. How you love me so much & cut off so easily is mind boggling. You do deserve better … they seem to walk away unscathed 😔
Same thing, funny thing she made me feel like the narc. Heal and move on, these people will never improve and change
Why do people go back to their EXes?
@@Naturalcorpse thank you for this reply ❤️ I didn’t learn my lesson since that post 1 year ago, I went back for more and got the same twice over. All the “therapy” she does and it’s not fixing her one bit. I just blocked her 2 weeks ago after she once again showed herself, even so much as declaring she cares for me. These types don’t even know what that word means unless it benefits them in some way. I’m thinking & hoping she doesn’t pop up again but I’m prepared to ignore her this time much better. Appreciate your kindness!
This sounds like my ex, she was exactly the same
My ex went from loving each other so much to being so cruel even months later! I can't understand it and was left rhinking why! I never cheated. There were a lot of little fights, mostly about me wanting to be with her more! I wanted to settle down with her!
Same here but I wanted to see him more. I didn't see him for three weeks and he was a jerk about it!!
@doglover5519 tbh sometimes, all we need is to talk about it and give it time now. I know she cheated. She did the one thing she said she'd never do, lol
And now she's done with me she's trying to ruin my life 8 months later! I wonder why we love the wrong people sometimes
These people are incapable of loving others. I think it’s due to selfishness and immaturity. They probably suffered childhood trauma or maybe mental issues while in the womb / at birth. They are about surviving and taking care of themselves. You can’t really nurture a healthy relationship if you don’t possess empathy or you are mentally immature. I bet if you were to treat them like garbage, they would chase you. They only respond to toxicity.
@kaybase6967 she is bipoler, and her mother cheated on her farther. I think something happened, she had a bad childhood, Her ex warned me she was narcissistic, and omg, did I pay the price for that relationship? Thank God I'm finally away from her. Even a year later, she still found a way to ruin me, lol. But it's done, and I'll never see that crazy woman again. I just wish there was a way to warn people about her.
Omg I’m going through this now
No sleep at all. He had already checked out the relationship and was already moving on. Keeping in touch with him feel guilty so he’s been cold. I’m devastated and can’t eat or sleep but I left him alone.
Any updates?
Stay strong, I was there a year ago and personally I won’t allow myself to go back
Going through this now, still living together. Saving money to move… can’t wait to get the hell outta here.
You are never alone.
2:00 theres nothing u can do…just try to move forward..😢
I let go completely and now I'm called a narcissist because of that, she doesn't want me , but she's hoping no else will too
Alot of people are like this!! Woman and men both do this some sh**. Lol
Validation bro, Validation always Validation..
Me and my ex have been broken up for 6 months. We tried to reconcile a couple months after the breakup but she still had not changed and it fizzled out. Anyways it’s been 2 months since we have spoken and the other day I had a girl over that I’m getting to know. Right when we were about to leave someone was knocking on my window. It was my ex, she was there because she wanted to tell me she has a new boyfriend and wanted to show me a picture.. I was like okay, I don’t care. She pulled her phone out anyways and showed me the pic of her and her new boyfriend then said all her friends say he looks like me. She tried flirting a bit before I switched the conversation to the steps we need to take for divorce (got married on paper for moving country reasons). Was the weirdest thing and don’t know what to make of it. She even asked me to come out side and I refused. Why would she do this? I think she is a narcissist, my only explanation
Yeah that doesn't sound normal at all. It sounds like she is trying to get you jealous but it's a very childish attempt. How old is she because that sounds like something a teenager would do..... Sounds a lil psycho but I don't know why she would do that. Unless we have her side of the story
@@misskay8373 thanks for the reply. She is 22 (I am 37). Big age difference, I met her when she was 18, but I met her shortly after being married for 10 years so I was kinda in a vulnerable state and eventually developed real feelings for her. Her side of the story is she cheated on me towards the end of the relationship with her teacher, who is 54…. She denied it and still does to this day but her best friend was the one that told me. I choose to believe my wife at the time but then one day when I was at work she moved out. Anyways this window thing was 3 weeks ago. Since then she created a fake account and tried following my new gf (who is private) on social media. I know it’s her because her sister confirmed it. She also showed up at my work 2 days ago asking about my dog, but she was civil and nothing else came from it. I had to see her yesterday at a gathering for her sisters niece and she did flirt a bit with me. She also told me she went to a therapist and was diagnosed as Bipolar. Which explains a lot… anyways I don’t know what her intentions are with me and at this point I have just given up and I am trying to move on.
Yes he was mean cruel mean only to me but very friendly to my friend Preeti and he was talking endlessly with her, nonstop,there was no space to remind him ,that i was there too,he didnt even looked at me,nor he talked to me 😢
My x broke up with me because i needed help for my mental health i really loved her and i know its wrong but i still miss her so much
She can't have been the person for you to not support you through that
I hope you get the help that makes you better than the person she knew and makes it her loss
My ex cheated on me last year and I took him back but he refused to work on our trust issues. He told me that it was my job to figure out how I was going to trust him. He hasn't tried to make any effort. However over Time he did try some parts to give me the affection I wante. The only problem is that I started to resent him and I started acting possessive, I started having mood swings and treating him bad occasionally. Now he has left and said he can't do it. I'm a really horrible person. When he cheated he told me he loved the other girl and I have always been holding on to that. When I asked him for space he refused because he was scared I would leave him. But I feel we never got space to deal with our issues. But now he says he is emotionally and mentally checked out. But I've been going therapy even before he left and I was doing so well. I'm working on my business and making changes in my life but he says he doesn't care, he says he is done and I should move on.
i think i understand what your ex meant. i think when someone cheats or lies or betrays someone it’s really hard to prove to someone that you won’t do it again. what can you do to show that? it’s up to the victim to choose whether or not to forgive and trust that person again. it’s something that is indefinably proven because you could say oh well it’s been 30 years and you still haven’t betrayed me but you that doesn’t mean you can’t. it’s unfortunate and really hard but it truly is up to the victim whether or no they can trust that person.
All of them exs and anyone else so mean
How that talk is supposed to be helpful
Hey Clay, and everyone else. My ex isn't being mean cold or cruel, but our mutual friend said she's scared of me, and doesn't want to be around me "for a very long time" but still says I'm a great guy and wants to meet up and talk things over one day, and that the breakup was "all her fault". Our friend is trying to help me get her back, but hearing this makes me SUPER confused. How can I be a great guy, but have her scared of me, and what does any of this mean? Is this technically riding the dragon? Hot and cold behavior? We haven't messed each other since the break up, but we're both super close to our mutual friend, so I'm being told this stuff. Any help would be amazing!
great video and makes a lot of sense.
The love of my life turned me into FWB. I don’t exist in his life outside of his house and has stopped ongoing communication. I need to heal and I can’t force to love. He is who he is.
I'm sorry.. I went through the inverse of that. The love of MY life left me after 5 years to get into a now actual committed relationship with a FWB she spent all her time with BEFORE we were together. She used to get angry at me for an old female friend heart reacting my posts on Facebook. She made me delete her. I don't talk to that girl at ALL. But she swore up and down this old FWB was never ever going to be someone I needed to worry about. She did me very wrong wrong there. I had depression and drug abuse/self harm with drug issues and that was her excuse to execute an otherwise extremely loving relationship
Thanks Clay.
Story of my life.
I don't feel anxious,. angry, resentful and don't need validation. I sleep well. I don't have it all figured out, but in a good place. A continuous work in progress. :)
Thanx😊
Try adding a 8 month old to the mix and pressure was thru the roof thru covid and the kicker is there rather than seeking some sort of counseling to understand what are the issues instead she takes the baby and files for divorce and doesn’t tell me for a month rather tells me that we should go to therapy separately… It’s been 9 months I’m not sure I’ll really ever get over the way this went down ..
@@alexislaura391 how did he help?
What state is that
intersting view
I been through in this situation,
he's the one who cheat on me!
we have a child ,
i try my very best to save the relation,i beg,pleading for almost 2 months and . but all he do is angry,saying nasty thing to me i feel like hes a diffrent person! until now those scenario playing again and again to my head. what did i do wrong?? am i wrong that i try to save the relationship? even though i was the one who got cheated on?? Yes i was very anxious that time who is not i just got emotionally . i really want to fix the relation what should i do,? he block me month ago on everthing !
weve been together for 7yrs.. 1 daughter age now 4 yrs old..
Hey Clay, me and my ex met up and I felt like we had a nice time (he said so as well), he really opened up to me about some things in his life and we agreed to meet up again soon. Since we met up, he's been sort of distant though, our conversations have turned into me "interviewing" him and I don't really understand what happened and how to build an emotional connection with him now... could this be a positive pullback? It's only been a couple days since we met up, should I be giving it some time?
Ask him how he feels (or "thinks" - less intense word) about interacting with you
@@user-es5gx2di7h i'm just concerned that asking him anything related to the relationship might put too much romantic pressure on the situation ... we also haven't had a same team talk yet, it's just that up until now there's only been positive progress
❤
I gave her the divorce, gave her the house, she has the kids most of the time like she wants, she monkey-branched to a party boy from her past and had him staying over before the divorce was even over, posting pics of them with our kids like their this pre-made family just add water, and now it's been over a year since we separated and divorced. She got what she wanted and yet, several times a week for the past year, she posts crap about how traumatized she is and that she's a survivor who's healing like she went through fucking Vietnam or something. Her dad abandoned her when she was a baby, mother is a toxic borderline with three baby daddy's who made her hypervigilant before she was in elementary and other traumatic things I want mention out of respect. And yet, I am the Alpha and Omega of all her trauma and problems in life and now she's trying to be some kind of "advocate" for woman. Our marriage was a roller coaster, really good ups and really bad downs and it probably needed to end as it did. But this narrative of a 24/7 waking nightmare and Narcissistic crap is insane. She saw me at the grocery store the other day and followed me back to my apartment because she was " wondering why I wasn't at work that day"...circling the building like a stalker looking for me. These women get what they want but NEVER move on. I sit and watch our kid play baseball while the rebound sits with her and my kids go hang on him and I bite my tongue. But I bring a girlfriend to the game and her crazy Mom starts talking crap and making comments during a kid's game and with parents listening. They're trash. They can't leave it alone and yet they got what they wanted...me gone, so what gives? I go radio silence and let her have her life and I'm dating beautiful, smart and fun women without a bitter chip on their shoulder so it should be win-win? It's at the point where I could sue for defamation but a part of me feels like even that would excite her and her toxic Mom. I'll continue to ignore and live my life but damn I really chose poorly in hindsight and hope she just moves on with her life and stops playing the victim.
Clay,
My ex and I have been talking every couple months or so and conversation have been upbeat and positive. We saw eachother at the gym a couple of times and each time she approached me and we talked for a while and also has been positive interactions. Last night we saw eachother and she acted as though I was invisible. The time I saw her before that was only two weeks ago and that was a positive interaction with her asking me questions and being playful and warm. What are your thoughts on why she would be colder towards me all of a sudden during this paticular night?