Ladies Please Stop Giving Your Financial Freedom To Your Man/Storytime

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  • Опубліковано 30 жов 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 122

  • @mudandglitter1609
    @mudandglitter1609 5 місяців тому +114

    In my opinion, financial freedom is the single most important aspect of any woman's life. It's the golden rule, "He/she who has the gold makes the rules." Without it, we are vulnerable in every other way.

    • @ragingrn8342
      @ragingrn8342 5 місяців тому +8

      You're right. If you want to rule over your life then you need to make the gold.

    • @KurosakiLuvar01
      @KurosakiLuvar01 5 місяців тому +1

      So so true

    • @hasley247
      @hasley247 5 місяців тому

      That’s not the golden rule tho…

    • @shaypope4732
      @shaypope4732 5 місяців тому

      ​@@hasley247it cost to be the boss

    • @shaypope4732
      @shaypope4732 5 місяців тому +1

      ​The CEO do less labor and get paid more the employees who gets paid less do more work that's the rules Hun

  • @thebeautystandard
    @thebeautystandard 5 місяців тому +101

    We need to learn the words "It's not in my budget." Because it's not. Your budget is for YOU and your expenses alone. I make six figures and when a man asks me to invest in an activity with him I say "It's not in my budget." Label your money for YOUR expenses only, and you'll see you cannot afford to support some dusty.

    • @thebeautystandard
      @thebeautystandard 5 місяців тому +32

      Even if you have "extra" it's for your mother, retirement, investments, female friends, and charities for women and children. You don't have "extra" for a man ever.

    • @user-br3ty9rt1m
      @user-br3ty9rt1m 5 місяців тому +12

      Smart advice 👌

    • @neonred7594
      @neonred7594 5 місяців тому +10

      Great idea. I shall do this from now on.

    • @BlackRaven000
      @BlackRaven000 5 місяців тому +4

      ​@@thebeautystandardMen would obviously NEVER reciprocate. These "providers" grumble about having to pay for groceries and dentist appointments, let alone anything else!

    • @PandaHead602
      @PandaHead602 5 місяців тому +2

      Yep!! I don’t have any money to waste what we are doing is working they have these things they want to invest in. Tell them to go to bank get a loan. if a bank won’t give to him.. we should have not give… .. in my 20s 18-19 iv given away and help now in my 30s no struggling man should be struggling at 30

  • @genevieveaniko6492
    @genevieveaniko6492 5 місяців тому +65

    If you want to really know how a man feels about you.. Stop focusing on what he's saying and start paying attention to what he is doing. If a male is literally robbing your income... Unto the point whereby you can't eat or survive.. Then that's his true heart towards you. Move accordingly.

  • @TKOin2life
    @TKOin2life 5 місяців тому +48

    This is why boyfriends should never live with you. You must ALWAYS have your seperate account with emergency funds, enough to escape in silence. This applies to single and married ladies. At this point don't even entertain a relationship unless you have 5k to 10k in emergency savings. I am not going to ask you anything. I am taking what I absolutely must have and I am gone. They can have it all. It's not worth the stress. Luckily my dad raised me on if a man don't work, he's not worth knowing. He had no pride and doesn't care about himself. If he's asking you for money, he cares even less about you.

    • @magnarcreed3801
      @magnarcreed3801 5 місяців тому +2

      Living with them is important. You need to see who they are full time.

    • @Liz-wz8dh
      @Liz-wz8dh 5 місяців тому

      This is a good idea in general. Men love to trap women financially.

    • @KurosakiLuvar01
      @KurosakiLuvar01 5 місяців тому

      Yes idk whyyyyyy they room with their boyfriends because that’s all they are!! A live-in roommate fck toy atm!
      It doesn’t matter how he was in the beginning it allllwaayysss comes to this ALWAYYYSSS.

    • @KurosakiLuvar01
      @KurosakiLuvar01 5 місяців тому

      @@magnarcreed3801bullshite. You can see all that just by their interactions with people doing different things. How they are when they face a problem in their life, how the manage it, if they have patience. You don’t need to run and move in with a boyfriend to “see how they are” that makes no damn sense.
      They people are just lazy and don’t want to drive to the other’s house for sex and attention anymore. They also want some help with the bills. That’s it.

    • @ruthmchuwen
      @ruthmchuwen 5 місяців тому +1

      @@magnarcreed3801 This only benefits man not women. Most women fall in this trap

  • @anishap2023
    @anishap2023 5 місяців тому +90

    She was just a victim of a classic covert narcissist. They use guilt to control people with good hearts. May she learn and heal.

    • @kayshawnsimmons5585
      @kayshawnsimmons5585 5 місяців тому +14

      l hope she is empowered by her move and continues her progress 💪🏽🥰

    • @Liz-wz8dh
      @Liz-wz8dh 5 місяців тому

      They love using money to control people as well.

    • @DeannaJacksonDJsDelectables
      @DeannaJacksonDJsDelectables 5 місяців тому +5

      I came here to say exactly this!

  • @peachesandpoets
    @peachesandpoets 5 місяців тому +106

    Tell men that you're broke.

    • @kayshawnsimmons5585
      @kayshawnsimmons5585 5 місяців тому +13

      Great advice

    • @Ccl2tb
      @Ccl2tb 5 місяців тому +22

      And ask them for money

    • @neonred7594
      @neonred7594 5 місяців тому +11

      As soon as you do that, they lose interest. LOL.

    • @luw5244
      @luw5244 5 місяців тому +5

      @@neonred7594That’s the point😂

    • @ruthmchuwen
      @ruthmchuwen 5 місяців тому

      @@neonred7594Zero effort selection! Those mean should not be on your life in the 1st place

  • @olikah4667
    @olikah4667 5 місяців тому +23

    This is covert narcissistic abuse. He reminds me of my brother. Till this day, he doesn’t contribute anything to the household. No bill paid, nothing! In this moment right here, I’ve decided to disconnect the power to his room. I’ll call the electric company to do so. He always has money for weed but never for electricity. Hmmkay

  • @vangu2918
    @vangu2918 5 місяців тому +19

    I know some ladies who found this out the hard way, including my mother.

  • @kayshawnsimmons5585
    @kayshawnsimmons5585 5 місяців тому +36

    Ladles Protect your money. Never add accounts. Never give up your financial freedom💯. This topic is very important

  • @JukuduB
    @JukuduB 5 місяців тому +39

    This poor woman was in a relationship with a Narcissist, psychopath or sociopath. The money issue was a *tiny part of her torture. 💯

    • @kayshawnsimmons5585
      @kayshawnsimmons5585 5 місяців тому +10

      Financial abuse is serious and traumatizing.👹🤛🏾

  • @charlottestarot
    @charlottestarot 5 місяців тому +35

    Im financially broke but i own the home i live in. I bought it outright and paid in full when i moved across the country..my being broke didn't matter. 5 years later im trapped in my own home with someone who doesn't want me but refuses to leave. He told me he loved me on our second date. I feel so stupid. I came out here to get my life together and escape my toxic family. I got out of one hell and straight into another. I need to heal.

    • @smlorrin
      @smlorrin 5 місяців тому +11

      I'm so sorry that this is happening to you. I hope that you're able to find a way to get him out of your home.

    • @charlottestarot
      @charlottestarot 5 місяців тому +6

      @@smlorrin thank you, I appreciate it very much 🙏

    • @kaddysanyang8209
      @kaddysanyang8209 5 місяців тому +2

      Do you live in UK?

    • @charlottestarot
      @charlottestarot 5 місяців тому +5

      @@kaddysanyang8209 No, I live in the Midwest of the United States.

    • @Liz-wz8dh
      @Liz-wz8dh 5 місяців тому +2

      I'm so sorry. It happens. You may need to divorce and temporarily escape the home to get away from this person. Maybe sell it before it becomes impossible to sell houses in this market.

  • @RedDeadReverie
    @RedDeadReverie 5 місяців тому +31

    Oh my god this describes my ex perfectly. I paid for his rent for 4 years and all his other stuff. He always played the victim when I brought up issues and how he abused me, I tried to break up with him but he would do everything to make me stay. This is a covert narcissist. Stop blaming women for not leaving!

    • @Ccl2tb
      @Ccl2tb 5 місяців тому +11

      Mine always had some crisis or sob story that required my help. I had to start playing broke and pushing him to make more. After many years, when he was finally able to support himself, I finally left. I knew if he felt he still needed me, he would have become violent.

    • @NovaPrincess
      @NovaPrincess 5 місяців тому +3

      My narcissist ex would do every manipulative trick in the book to make me stay; he even proposed marriage!! Girl... I dumped him, and he ended up going to jail for a felony not long after that. He knew I was about to buy a house and that dummy wanted me to put him on the title/deed. He really thought I would be dumb enough to put him on the deed only, not the mortgage. I really despise narcissists. I even wrote a letter to the district attorney about the abuse he put me through, which was related to the felony crimes he committed against two additional innocent victims. So I can only hope if a woman does a background check or requests case information, she might see that letter I wrote warning about who my ex really is. He lied so much in the 1.5 yrs I was with him. It felt like a 10 yr relationship given all the stress and chaos that occurred, but no. It was not even 2 yrs of horror.

    • @RedDeadReverie
      @RedDeadReverie 5 місяців тому +4

      @@NovaPrincess I always worry so much for future victims. They have no idea what they’re getting into until it’s too late 💔

    • @NovaPrincess
      @NovaPrincess 5 місяців тому

      @@RedDeadReverieYup. I get angry when people ask why did abuse victims stay. These narcs are very well-trained liars and manipulators. They even fool the police who track criminals as a career. It's unfair to place burden of supernatural future-knowing on abuse victims who do not have the investigative powers of the police. Also, if a victim or survivor is on edge and literally runs at the first yellow flag, people will bully the victim and say the victim 'over reacts' or 'complains about everything' or 'needs tHeRaPy' because they're on high alert and worried about being abused. 🙄 No matter what, some people are going to blame the victim and absolve the abuser regardless.

  • @udeh00041
    @udeh00041 5 місяців тому +25

    I pray this beautiful woman heals and prospers greatly...seems like she got ensared by a covert narcissist.

  • @damieo8139
    @damieo8139 5 місяців тому +28

    Christianity does not say that you should submit your money to your husband. When the bible says submit, it means submit to love. Any man that uses those verses without talking about how he should be willing to give his life for you is abusive. Don't take one verse and leave the other, and don't take one verse our of context.

    • @user-br3ty9rt1m
      @user-br3ty9rt1m 5 місяців тому +3

      This is so important for people to hear.

    • @LadyAstarionAncunin
      @LadyAstarionAncunin 5 місяців тому +1

      Christianity says not to fornicate, but people pick and choose and twist what they want to believe.

    • @tessahiggins8142
      @tessahiggins8142 5 місяців тому +2

      It also says a man who doesn't work shouldn't eat.

  • @ijustneedtolaugh2137
    @ijustneedtolaugh2137 5 місяців тому +8

    I really appreciate women sharing their stories so other women especially young women can learn from them. It’s always easier to avoid toxic/abusive men early than it is to leave years later.

  • @LadyAstarionAncunin
    @LadyAstarionAncunin 5 місяців тому +11

    As someone who was raised old-fashioned, it's absolutely wild to me that women would hustle backwards this hard. I know the explanations behind it, but you'll never get that time/energy/money back, and the man will just kick his heels up like nothing is nothing and go on to the next. Just a terrible investment all around. It's exhausting just hearing it; I can't imagine living it. He never liked her. I'm not running the gauntlet for anyone. But I thank women like this for being teachers because those who can learn from it will learn!
    As an aside, though, it's ironic when people mention Christianity/the Bible as a point of reference for their relationship when they're shacking up and fornicating. You might as well not worry about what the Bible says at all because you're still sinning.

    • @notallabouttarot5194
      @notallabouttarot5194 5 місяців тому

      Staying with men now…religion or no…is not a good idea.

  • @nicole1859
    @nicole1859 5 місяців тому +4

    A man even suggesting you give up your income and things you own to him is a red flag, a real genuine man would wanna take care of you and want you to have your own things, I've heard of men who have stay at home wives but have an account for his wife where he saves money for her just in case, on top of having an insurance . A whole grown a** man being entitled to ask for your things is literally the biggest turn off.

  • @TheLovelySolitary
    @TheLovelySolitary 5 місяців тому +12

    She seems like a nice person, hate that this happened to her.

  • @DeannaJacksonDJsDelectables
    @DeannaJacksonDJsDelectables 5 місяців тому +5

    This is why keeping separate finances for the entirety of your relationship is a life line!!!

  • @a.c.4465
    @a.c.4465 5 місяців тому +14

    I found out that you and Destiny are friends and it made my whole day! You guys are both great

    • @user-br3ty9rt1m
      @user-br3ty9rt1m 5 місяців тому +2

      I was wondering if they knew each other. Warmed my heart to hear that they’re close. 😊

    • @MariaDavids
      @MariaDavids  5 місяців тому +4

      Yay! Thank you so much

  • @kjerit630
    @kjerit630 5 місяців тому +3

    Our biggest and most pervasive weakness as women, is we seek or get validation through our relationships. Unlike men who get theirs from accomplishments such work, sport or even hobbies. I hope the next generation of women can learn to get their individual satisfaction and sense of worthiness from their own efforts, be it activities, jobs, involvement with hobbies or charities and NOT in relationships. I mean all types of relationships be it men, female friends or even family. Cultivating healthy relationships is great but MOST women do not know how to do that and they gravitate towards overcompensating in unhealthy relationships. Hence, we often hear of accomplished women in career, education and even sports find themselves in such messed up situations, because they seek validation in others..... Hope she has learnt the vital lessons from all of this!

    • @notallabouttarot5194
      @notallabouttarot5194 5 місяців тому

      This is the best comment yet. Women has to be held accountable as well for these men bad behavior. You can’t be used if you don’t allow yourself to be used.

  • @mysticmoon7199
    @mysticmoon7199 5 місяців тому +15

    She spoke so eloquently. I absolutely love her. I am glad she got away. She is a beautiful soul 💞💯. Isn't the bf from the same country that the economic minister, unalive his wife. Sounds like that, how men from that country operate.😏

    • @QilinRider21
      @QilinRider21 5 місяців тому

      I think she said he's from Kurdistan

    • @LadyAstarionAncunin
      @LadyAstarionAncunin 5 місяців тому

      @@QilinRider21 I thought she said Kazakhstan.

  • @ruthmchuwen
    @ruthmchuwen 5 місяців тому +3

    This is quite common in African relationships even marriages.
    It’s happened to a lot of people I know, and the men spend money on themselves, their parents and other love interests! The woman is left to take care of the household, children and food. If she doesn’t work, she will beg him for money to buy underwear!
    I know not all men, but this is very common. Most African cultures do not treat women as human beings.

    • @kitty1256x
      @kitty1256x 4 місяці тому

      Many American men like this too! And in every country too.

    • @ruthmchuwen
      @ruthmchuwen 4 місяці тому

      @@kitty1256x Takeaway? Women should practice discernment, she love and respect. All this sacrificing for what. The children will take his name 😏
      But again some women think giving a man children will make him love her.. that’s why most women are stuck with them

  • @oakiediaries9907
    @oakiediaries9907 5 місяців тому +8

    I don’t believe any religion has advised you as a woman to give your income to anyone . If anything your husband is expected to financially provide.

  • @purplelaketafahdhali7753
    @purplelaketafahdhali7753 5 місяців тому +1

    I appreciate women sharing their stories so much. It sheds light on the danger of blindly trusting a male to be in charge of your life. All men aren't like this, but you truly need to keep your head before getting into a relationship to avoid the ones that are.

  • @colette6367
    @colette6367 5 місяців тому +1

    This kind of abuse is not understood by majority of the people. So you own support system can trap you because it does not make sense.
    Society place such a huge emphasis on what they see that this is missed. I lived it and escape to a shelter only for people to convince not to help me. Everything was in my name the system could not help and I made no money from the businesses. On paper I was making lots of money but was broke. Lawyers could not get me out.

  • @peachesandpoets
    @peachesandpoets 5 місяців тому +13

    She sound like she's from my country Kenya

    • @nicole1859
      @nicole1859 5 місяців тому

      I thought the same thing, that's definitely a Kenyan accent

  • @anhangamirim
    @anhangamirim 5 місяців тому +8

    Thank you sisters, for educating me. Your advices are precious and life saviors.

  • @damieo8139
    @damieo8139 5 місяців тому +8

    She needs to take accountability. She should have put him out or left period.

    • @loriparks8657
      @loriparks8657 5 місяців тому +5

      It's sad to hear what she was saying making all types of excuses for him and men always wondering why females want to stay single don't want to get married don't want to have any children can't blame them .

  • @loriparks8657
    @loriparks8657 5 місяців тому +9

    Single females your life mission goals that, any financial stability or anything else that you achieve while being single wasn't for you to automatically have to bring into a marriage ! Whatever you possess It All Belongs to You and you only! You don't have to share it you don't have to give none of it to your husband ! Females doesn't seek husband ! Man seeks wife ! He's responsible for all Financial stability for his wife himself household later on children ! People in this man's world got it all twisted . For that soon to be or future husband it shouldn't be no problem signing your prenup ! If he doesn't you don't need to marry him . That will let you know he doesn't have his financial stability totally in check in order to take care of you as his wife and his children ! Single females you already have 100% already on your own by being single you don't need to drop down to 0%

  • @PandaHead602
    @PandaHead602 5 місяців тому +1

    Which means she’s bringing in
    More and she was putting in more and he can’t afford life style.

  • @TheiaofMeridor
    @TheiaofMeridor 5 місяців тому +2

    This woman’s ex was a classic victim narcissist

  • @nmhoskins
    @nmhoskins 5 місяців тому +1

    I am near tears and ANGRY!!

  • @NovaPrincess
    @NovaPrincess 5 місяців тому +7

    Living with a boyfriend (or a husband) is a terrible idea. If women want to live in community, living with other women is better on average. I own my house and car by myself. Married women think they got something, but they only got half a house.

  • @elviremerrelle
    @elviremerrelle 5 місяців тому +2

    Message received loud n clear

  • @taylorthenatural5509
    @taylorthenatural5509 5 місяців тому +20

    A good man will WANT you to be financially secure and stable. This is the case with my boyfriend, who set me up on an investment app and told me to try to put 50 dollars a month in it. Currently I'm still in school so money is scarce. I plan to have a bachelor's degree by the time he moves to my state and a great job to boot.

    • @sandycheeks1580
      @sandycheeks1580 5 місяців тому

      No Matter What… Trust No Man! 👀 Don’t let him get you into a trap 🪤

    • @notallabouttarot5194
      @notallabouttarot5194 5 місяців тому

      As a man told another…love no man. Love gets you hurt. Be careful with this one.

    • @taylorthenatural5509
      @taylorthenatural5509 5 місяців тому +1

      @notallabouttarot5194 That's coming from a place of hurt sis. Love exists, and it's good for your health. Not properly vetting someone and being naive gets you hurt, never confuse that with real love. The two are not the same, they won't even feel the same to an experienced person.

    • @notallabouttarot5194
      @notallabouttarot5194 5 місяців тому

      @@taylorthenatural5509 I know what love is ma’am. I had that from my deceased husband of 20 years. He respected me. That’s real love. I returned that back to him. So many people like you wants so much to bash other women who are talking truth of monitoring how you love an individual/men…are usually the ones who are coming in a place of hurt. I’ve never been disrespected by men due to this love that most of you are speaking about. NEVER. Even in my hook up days. And I’m 51. I monitor my emotions. My heart…when it comes to these people. And even at my age…I’m still getting that respect. My adult children…men and women. Sis.

    • @notallabouttarot5194
      @notallabouttarot5194 5 місяців тому

      @@taylorthenatural5509 @taylorthenatural5509 I know what love is ma'am. I had that from my deceased husband of 20 years. He respected me. That's real love. I returned that back to him. So many people like you wants so much to bash other women who are talking truth of monitoring how you love an individual/ men... are usually the ones who are coming in a place of hurt. I've never been disrespected by men due to this love that most of you are speaking about. NEVER. Even in my hook up days.
      And I'm 51. I monitor my emotions. My heart...when it comes to these people.
      And even at my age...'m still getting that respect. From My adult children...men and women. Sis.

  • @ashleyb8618
    @ashleyb8618 5 місяців тому +1

    I just have to say you’re absolutely gorgeous 🩷

  • @sheenalee7602
    @sheenalee7602 5 місяців тому +3

    I feel like she's talking about my ex.

  • @cmmahone
    @cmmahone 5 місяців тому

    I'm trapped, I have money to rent, but there is no where to go. Currently it's stay here or homelessness

  • @PandaHead602
    @PandaHead602 5 місяців тому

    I’m so sorry 😢poor gurl can’t buy winter boots or bus fare

  • @PandaHead602
    @PandaHead602 5 місяців тому

    Why didn’t she speak to him or tell to him ?? How is he paying making lunch getting lunch etc ??? How is she so damn broke here but he’s she’s just letting him spend how ever ? He wants not even budgeting

  • @PandaHead602
    @PandaHead602 5 місяців тому

    This lady has to be almost 40 sad

  • @noniwilliams7029
    @noniwilliams7029 5 місяців тому +1

    Apparently she doesn’t read the Quran. The islamic faith states that the man is the maintainer of a woman. If she’s being financially abused , blame yourself and the man

  • @thrill102
    @thrill102 5 місяців тому

    I’m not sure what she’s talking about but Christianity does NOT force women to give up their money to men.