I would say you have 90% talent and rest is just hard work under pressure. I see once awhile dreams and few days later something happens that is so familiar that my only conclusion was I have seen this in my dreams
I promise you, the ratio is the opposite. It really is just muscle memory! But you say kind things. I never don't dream, and they seldom make sense, but they can be entertaining! In this case, maybe it even launched an actual thing. Thanks for listening. ktf dC
Was real detail backed story since so many smaller issues mentioned but those details kept the story live and exiting. As said 90% talent. And you have good voice for reading!
After this it gets... well, dark... But I had fun writing it. Moe fun writing it than reading it! Live reading is HARD! Thanks for watching, sir. Hope you enjoyed at least some of those funky little details. :) dC
Speaking of writing, I'm nothing but admirating for the (lucky) ones who can catch the flashes of stories, sentences, descriptions that pass through the brain and burst in mind, and write them down then. It seems to me that the 90 % of work lies for a part in this perseverance (obstinacy ?) in writing down all the amalgams and puzzles and snippets that come along with life and give them a sense, a structure, whatever makes that a writing. This part is not given to everybody, and requires stamina, and perhaps pressure at a point to go on. Not everybody is able to this task; the tendancy is more like skiping this step and believing that we've got unrecognized talent ;-) Writing is as much a craftsman work as an artistic activity. Thanks a lot to make us an audience for your glance on world around you. Any possibility you grasp the opportunities to write more for yourself and then for us, people ? Bon courage ! (doesn't mean you need courage but it's much more like a cheer to go on)
I will admit, I am very lucky. Unlike the writer in Losing it, the words still flow for me with passion and precision. I very seldom have to think too hard or chase them too far. However, i will admit, I am working a lot harder with this writing to try and make it literate and literary, more so that a script usually has to be. And that it also gives me a chance to editorialise even a little on some aspects of life is just pure bonus. The reading is, in truth, way harder than the writing. I hope you enjoyed the snippet of the story, from here on in it gets progressively darker. :) We'll have to see, maybe I'll post chapter two, if there is even a small demand. I am, after all, mostly a massive and massively fragile balding tubby ego . I have another WAY shorter story, but that is also a WAY harder story to READ as it requires an accent that i absolutely cannot do! (I can write in the accent and idiom, but I absolutely cannot speak in that idiom!) Thanks for watching, as ever. Keep the faith. dC
Dear Paul, the most wonderful thing about you is your quiet modesty. I am very proud of you. I can imagine how you uploaded this video. It's you, in the truest way. And that's why we love you. Your voice has captivated me from the first moment - so calming, safe, full of colors and inner wisdom. What could be better than listening to the creator's creation through his own voice. Word usage - just great. Creating clear images and shapes. Thank you for who you are! Until the next meetings, Ave.
You say the kindest things! Trust me, anyone who has to listen to me pontificate and argue and rage soon grows VERY tired of my voice! :) However, I very much hoped that this little piece of 'art' (very lower case) would find some receptive ears. It gets quite a lot darker after this opening, but I am quite proud of it. Thank you for indulging me. And, as ever and always, thank you for watching. dC
@@dodgycamreacts-lyricsinabo5170 I also imagine what you are like when you argue or express yourself in other intense ways and understand why people can get tired - it's part of your power. Without it, you wouldn't be who you are. As for the dark tones and words, I prefer reading to visual art. So I can create my own images, perceptions and sensations. Then I'm not afraid ... And so I can be the cocreator of this other man-made story. Thank You for shearing, Ave
@@aveangerjas4741 Fair to say, when I fight my side i am hell on wheels! :) And, this story was literally written to make the reader the co-creator. You notice how LITTLE I tell you about what the train and the people actually look like. I let YOU do ALL the work. (It's a trick I use in scripts too!) Maybe i'll read more at some stage, or find a way to publish. It is a dark and funky ride to a surprising desitination! :) dC
Keep on writing. It's a purpose in itself. As far "Lovers on a Train" is concerned: I like the detailed observations (not a Hemingway fan, though). My problems start with the title. Would I wanna read about lovers on a train? Probably not. Where is the conflict? What's new? Stranger seems rather uneffected by what he sees as well. If that's the case, he maybe offers the wrong perspective on a couple we know almost nothing about. Or, as Hank Moody once said: "Why the fuck do you fade in?" You do have a great voice. And you got a lot to say. Just put some more of it into that story. Into an story.
So, thatnks for watching, and for taking the time to share your thoughts. That is, after all, what I hoped for. I hope you don't mind, but I am going to actually do a detailed response, not in defence, but in the spirit of honest discussion. So, here goes. Hemmingway: I am not at all literate, I have never read the classics, never read Hemmingway, so am not totally sure to what you are referring. However, the level of detail is, for the most part, either a stylistic choice or a deliberate layering in of information that either is or will become relevant and important. I don't want to describe the people or the place, I want to let the audience create that mental picture, but I do very much want to describe the tone of the people and place in order to set up some very specific assumptions, ideas and plot points. So, the level of detail is both a stylistic choice and a narrative necessity. Title: So, this is NOT a novel. It is a 4000 word SHORT STORY. The title of a short story does not need to sell the book, the title of the short story is designed to hint at what the story is about and, in some cases, form part of the set-up of the conceit. In this case it is a very deliberate reference to the classic Hitchcock film, Strangers on a train. And that is very deliberate as, in referencing that film title, I am also hinting at what this story is about and contains. Indeed, to NOT call it that would be to ignore the obvious similarities of narrative / plot / conceit. Of course, you are right, this title would NOT sell you a book. But that is not what it is supposed to do. The purpose it serves is to set up the IDEA that is at the heart of this short story. Conflict: Okay, so what you heard was the first 1000 words of a 400 word story - at the end of which one of the lovers was about to join the stranger at the bar. having set up this 'triangle' - two lovers and a stranger - is it not quite obvious that what happens next is the going to introduce the conceit, the conflict or at least a new dynamic? Unaffected Stranger: All of these quites come from the first 1000 words as written and read: "And Stranger’s eyes also keep turning and returning to the middle of the carriage. To the man with the perfectly photogenic silvering hair and the mesmerising woman across from him" "To the Stranger she has the kind of magnetism that knows no firm definition and has no common denominators other than the fact hers suggests an attraction for every possible personal taste and limitless sexuality." "Her compelling incandesce speaks to him of love, longing and lust." "Like everyone else in the carriage, Stranger struggles to look away and, when he does, his betraying eyes drift quickly back." "Stranger forces himself to turn away once again, seeking liquid distraction." "And there she is again, the musical laugh, the flicked hair reflected in expensive bottles.... Baby Doll laughs and reaches for Silver Fox’s hand. She keeps hold for as long as possible, extending the moment of physical connection before his unfaithful feet carry him away from her, down the centre of the racing carriage towards the bar and the Stranger sitting at it, watching the world go by." So, how is that unaffected? How is that not pretty much telling us that whatever happened next, as the triangle is engaged, will result in some kind of... situation? A couple we know nothing about: But do we know nothing about them? After a1000 words where I have described them in 'Hemmingway like' detail (while yes, not actually telling you what they look like) do we know nothing? Or do we know everything we NEED to know about them and the world BEFORE the Silver Fox joins the watching Stranger at the bar? I have a lot to say: yup. And I say it, in those words, I digress and postulate and detail human nature (young men, older men, women, tech companies) it's all there - it's what (I think) makes it feel 'Hemmingway'. So, as you see, I appreciate your perspective and your engagement, but I'm not sure I agree with your conclusions. :) :) As you might well imagine, there is not very much in the 4000 words of my first short story that was done by mistake and is not there for a very specific purpose as revealed in the 3000 words you didn't (yet) get to hear. Look up 'Stranger on a Train' ... then listen again... :) As is the way of these things, the finsihed story will almost certainly have some kind of 'intro' that both admits and owns that VERY deliberate reference. In fact, I might just write that now. :) As I would have said to hank moody on that day - because that is HOW THE FILM STARTS. Now, stop shagging girls your daughter's age, you funny twat! :) dC
So, there you go. Your notes inspired me to write 'introductions' to the two shorts I have written so far. This is now what will sit at the top of the 4000+ words that follow. Thanks for that! :) Nothing good ever follows the words “I had this dream last night…” This story is not that dream. However, since I’m a jobbing story monkey, I often end up dreaming the writing room, or trying to solve story issues within my dreams, even as I have them. It’s a very weird duality where I can be dreaming some typically bizarre bit of mental filing, but also trying to make that REM story work better. In this case, for reasons I forget at the moment of waking, the dream story-room required that I come up with a ‘good’ story idea. This short story, my first ever, is that story. I woke up thinking it was maybe good enough to write down and stayed awake long enough to solve the basic plotting and come up with a title. Enough so I’d remember it the following day and write the notes from which this was written. The resulting idea is pretty much as imagined by the story-dreaming ape. The title is a deliberate reference and homage to the classic film “Strangers on a Train…” from which this idea gets so much obvious inspiration, even while rendering it with what I hope is a very CyberPunk twist. It would have been easier to write this as the short film it so obviously begs to be, or maybe a pitch to Black Mirror or Love Death + Robots. But I’d never written a short story before. Now I have.
@@dodgycamreacts-lyricsinabo5170 Man, writing is such a personal thing. You are super-vulnerable when you put out something that turned to life in such a private way. I know that by heart. So, I'm sorry if I didn't find the right words. By no means, I wanted to discourage or even criticise you. In the end, you turned my comments into creativity. I love that. To put things into perspective: I listened to your short story part during work while waiting for the newspaper pages coming back from the corrections. It's also kinda hard to follow a short story read out in a language that is not my native. And, I don't know crap about Hitchcock, as it seems. Didn't get the reference at all ;-) Bottom line: I think it's great that you write. It's awesome, that you let us get into the loop. And be prepared that part of your audience will not be deserving. Hahaha! I just can't keep my mouth shut when somebody asks me, how I like his writing. It's the part of the job I miss the most after having switched jobs half a year ago.
@@marcoheinrich9518 Dude, I write Tv for a living. (at this stage substantially OVER 1000 hours of TV drama.) Nothing you could have said is going to discourage me, not from doing the thing that has been my profession for the best part of thirty years or from doing this thing that is - literally - something brand new. My life is little more than notes and changes and incredible bad briefs that I try to turn into good TV! (My being a 'professional writer' - for whatever value of that term - is, after all, the reason this channel is pitched around lyrics / words more than toons! :) ) If anything, this was just like any other moment in the writing room where I need to look at my work through other eyes, try to see what they see and take from that anything that is of worth to me when passed through the filter of my own taste and opinion. The ONLY reason I answered you so extensively is BECAUSE you took the time to offer a full opinion. It was NOT in defensiveness or anger or distress, rather it was in the spirit of discussion. The truth is, it was clear you were listening / reading with a slightly different context - perhaps thinking this was a novel, not a short story, and obviously my reading is not at all great, and probably your English is not first language - even while a billion times better than any other language I don't have. So, I gave you a full reply in the hope that maybe you would see what I see... And yes, you also prompted me to do what would probably only have been done months or years from now, an intro to present intent and context. For the record, Strangers on a train is about two men who meet on a train and agree to MURDER each other's wives on the assumption that nothing else connected them so they would NEVER BE SUSPECT. For some reason, that connection was made in my head even in the dream, hence the setting on a train. Not, for instance, in a park, or bus station or any other liminal place. So, short answer, you did what I hoped people would do, and that is much to be praised. You also watched / listened AT ALL, even with half an ear, and that is a thing for which I am eternally grateful. So, it's all good... You never know, maybe one day I'll read out the rest - if only to offer UP TO 44 people an opportunity to see just how dark and twisted this gets when Silver Fox joins Stranger at the bar... :) ktf dC
First! 🤣
And the first shall be last.
I would say you have 90% talent and rest is just hard work under pressure. I see once awhile dreams and few days later something happens that is so familiar that my only conclusion was I have seen this in my dreams
I promise you, the ratio is the opposite. It really is just muscle memory! But you say kind things.
I never don't dream, and they seldom make sense, but they can be entertaining!
In this case, maybe it even launched an actual thing.
Thanks for listening.
ktf
dC
@@dodgycamreacts-lyricsinabo5170 I read a lot ( book in a week) and we'll made stories are real entertainment
@@mikaheinio1292 I'm very much the same, but it is a new muscle group to try writing them :)
Was real detail backed story since so many smaller issues mentioned but those details kept the story live and exiting. As said 90% talent. And you have good voice for reading!
After this it gets... well, dark... But I had fun writing it. Moe fun writing it than reading it! Live reading is HARD!
Thanks for watching, sir.
Hope you enjoyed at least some of those funky little details.
:)
dC
Speaking of writing, I'm nothing but admirating for the (lucky) ones who can catch the flashes of stories, sentences, descriptions that pass through the brain and burst in mind, and write them down then. It seems to me that the 90 % of work lies for a part in this perseverance (obstinacy ?) in writing down all the amalgams and puzzles and snippets that come along with life and give them a sense, a structure, whatever makes that a writing. This part is not given to everybody, and requires stamina, and perhaps pressure at a point to go on. Not everybody is able to this task; the tendancy is more like skiping this step and believing that we've got unrecognized talent ;-)
Writing is as much a craftsman work as an artistic activity.
Thanks a lot to make us an audience for your glance on world around you. Any possibility you grasp the opportunities to write more for yourself and then for us, people ?
Bon courage ! (doesn't mean you need courage but it's much more like a cheer to go on)
I will admit, I am very lucky. Unlike the writer in Losing it, the words still flow for me with passion and precision. I very seldom have to think too hard or chase them too far. However, i will admit, I am working a lot harder with this writing to try and make it literate and literary, more so that a script usually has to be. And that it also gives me a chance to editorialise even a little on some aspects of life is just pure bonus. The reading is, in truth, way harder than the writing. I hope you enjoyed the snippet of the story, from here on in it gets progressively darker. :)
We'll have to see, maybe I'll post chapter two, if there is even a small demand. I am, after all, mostly a massive and massively fragile balding tubby ego .
I have another WAY shorter story, but that is also a WAY harder story to READ as it requires an accent that i absolutely cannot do!
(I can write in the accent and idiom, but I absolutely cannot speak in that idiom!)
Thanks for watching, as ever.
Keep the faith.
dC
Dear Paul,
the most wonderful thing about you is your quiet modesty. I am very proud of you. I can imagine how you uploaded this video. It's you, in the truest way.
And that's why we love you.
Your voice has captivated me from the first moment - so calming, safe, full of colors and inner wisdom. What could be better than listening to the creator's creation through his own voice.
Word usage - just great. Creating clear images and shapes.
Thank you for who you are!
Until the next meetings,
Ave.
You say the kindest things!
Trust me, anyone who has to listen to me pontificate and argue and rage soon grows VERY tired of my voice!
:)
However, I very much hoped that this little piece of 'art' (very lower case) would find some receptive ears.
It gets quite a lot darker after this opening, but I am quite proud of it.
Thank you for indulging me.
And, as ever and always, thank you for watching.
dC
@@dodgycamreacts-lyricsinabo5170 I also imagine what you are like when you argue or express yourself in other intense ways and understand why people can get tired - it's part of your power.
Without it, you wouldn't be who you are.
As for the dark tones and words, I prefer reading to visual art. So I can create my own images, perceptions and sensations. Then I'm not afraid ... And so I can be the cocreator of this other man-made story.
Thank You for shearing,
Ave
@@aveangerjas4741 Fair to say, when I fight my side i am hell on wheels! :)
And, this story was literally written to make the reader the co-creator. You notice how LITTLE I tell you about what the train and the people actually look like. I let YOU do ALL the work. (It's a trick I use in scripts too!)
Maybe i'll read more at some stage, or find a way to publish.
It is a dark and funky ride to a surprising desitination!
:)
dC
@@dodgycamreacts-lyricsinabo5170 Can´t wait the ride ...
Ave
Keep on writing. It's a purpose in itself. As far "Lovers on a Train" is concerned: I like the detailed observations (not a Hemingway fan, though). My problems start with the title. Would I wanna read about lovers on a train? Probably not. Where is the conflict? What's new? Stranger seems rather uneffected by what he sees as well. If that's the case, he maybe offers the wrong perspective on a couple we know almost nothing about. Or, as Hank Moody once said: "Why the fuck do you fade in?"
You do have a great voice. And you got a lot to say. Just put some more of it into that story. Into an story.
So, thatnks for watching, and for taking the time to share your thoughts. That is, after all, what I hoped for.
I hope you don't mind, but I am going to actually do a detailed response, not in defence, but in the spirit of honest discussion. So, here goes.
Hemmingway: I am not at all literate, I have never read the classics, never read Hemmingway, so am not totally sure to what you are referring. However, the level of detail is, for the most part, either a stylistic choice or a deliberate layering in of information that either is or will become relevant and important. I don't want to describe the people or the place, I want to let the audience create that mental picture, but I do very much want to describe the tone of the people and place in order to set up some very specific assumptions, ideas and plot points. So, the level of detail is both a stylistic choice and a narrative necessity.
Title: So, this is NOT a novel. It is a 4000 word SHORT STORY. The title of a short story does not need to sell the book, the title of the short story is designed to hint at what the story is about and, in some cases, form part of the set-up of the conceit. In this case it is a very deliberate reference to the classic Hitchcock film, Strangers on a train. And that is very deliberate as, in referencing that film title, I am also hinting at what this story is about and contains. Indeed, to NOT call it that would be to ignore the obvious similarities of narrative / plot / conceit. Of course, you are right, this title would NOT sell you a book. But that is not what it is supposed to do. The purpose it serves is to set up the IDEA that is at the heart of this short story.
Conflict: Okay, so what you heard was the first 1000 words of a 400 word story - at the end of which one of the lovers was about to join the stranger at the bar. having set up this 'triangle' - two lovers and a stranger - is it not quite obvious that what happens next is the going to introduce the conceit, the conflict or at least a new dynamic?
Unaffected Stranger:
All of these quites come from the first 1000 words as written and read:
"And Stranger’s eyes also keep turning and returning to the middle of the carriage. To the man with the perfectly photogenic silvering hair and the mesmerising woman across from him"
"To the Stranger she has the kind of magnetism that knows no firm definition and has no common denominators other than the fact hers suggests an attraction for every possible personal taste and limitless sexuality."
"Her compelling incandesce speaks to him of love, longing and lust."
"Like everyone else in the carriage, Stranger struggles to look away and, when he does, his betraying eyes drift quickly back."
"Stranger forces himself to turn away once again, seeking liquid distraction."
"And there she is again, the musical laugh, the flicked hair reflected in expensive bottles.... Baby Doll laughs and reaches for Silver Fox’s hand. She keeps hold for as long as possible, extending the moment of physical connection before his unfaithful feet carry him away from her, down the centre of the racing carriage towards the bar and the Stranger sitting at it, watching the world go by."
So, how is that unaffected? How is that not pretty much telling us that whatever happened next, as the triangle is engaged, will result in some kind of... situation?
A couple we know nothing about: But do we know nothing about them? After a1000 words where I have described them in 'Hemmingway like' detail (while yes, not actually telling you what they look like) do we know nothing? Or do we know everything we NEED to know about them and the world BEFORE the Silver Fox joins the watching Stranger at the bar?
I have a lot to say: yup. And I say it, in those words, I digress and postulate and detail human nature (young men, older men, women, tech companies) it's all there - it's what (I think) makes it feel 'Hemmingway'.
So, as you see, I appreciate your perspective and your engagement, but I'm not sure I agree with your conclusions. :) :)
As you might well imagine, there is not very much in the 4000 words of my first short story that was done by mistake and is not there for a very specific purpose as revealed in the 3000 words you didn't (yet) get to hear.
Look up 'Stranger on a Train' ... then listen again... :)
As is the way of these things, the finsihed story will almost certainly have some kind of 'intro' that both admits and owns that VERY deliberate reference.
In fact, I might just write that now. :)
As I would have said to hank moody on that day - because that is HOW THE FILM STARTS. Now, stop shagging girls your daughter's age, you funny twat!
:)
dC
So, there you go. Your notes inspired me to write 'introductions' to the two shorts I have written so far. This is now what will sit at the top of the 4000+ words that follow. Thanks for that! :)
Nothing good ever follows the words “I had this dream last night…” This story is not that dream. However, since I’m a jobbing story monkey, I often end up dreaming the writing room, or trying to solve story issues within my dreams, even as I have them. It’s a very weird duality where I can be dreaming some typically bizarre bit of mental filing, but also trying to make that REM story work better. In this case, for reasons I forget at the moment of waking, the dream story-room required that I come up with a ‘good’ story idea. This short story, my first ever, is that story. I woke up thinking it was maybe good enough to write down and stayed awake long enough to solve the basic plotting and come up with a title. Enough so I’d remember it the following day and write the notes from which this was written. The resulting idea is pretty much as imagined by the story-dreaming ape. The title is a deliberate reference and homage to the classic film “Strangers on a Train…” from which this idea gets so much obvious inspiration, even while rendering it with what I hope is a very CyberPunk twist. It would have been easier to write this as the short film it so obviously begs to be, or maybe a pitch to Black Mirror or Love Death + Robots. But I’d never written a short story before. Now I have.
@@dodgycamreacts-lyricsinabo5170 Man, writing is such a personal thing. You are super-vulnerable when you put out something that turned to life in such a private way. I know that by heart. So, I'm sorry if I didn't find the right words. By no means, I wanted to discourage or even criticise you. In the end, you turned my comments into creativity. I love that.
To put things into perspective: I listened to your short story part during work while waiting for the newspaper pages coming back from the corrections. It's also kinda hard to follow a short story read out in a language that is not my native. And, I don't know crap about Hitchcock, as it seems. Didn't get the reference at all ;-)
Bottom line: I think it's great that you write. It's awesome, that you let us get into the loop. And be prepared that part of your audience will not be deserving. Hahaha!
I just can't keep my mouth shut when somebody asks me, how I like his writing. It's the part of the job I miss the most after having switched jobs half a year ago.
@@marcoheinrich9518 Dude, I write Tv for a living. (at this stage substantially OVER 1000 hours of TV drama.) Nothing you could have said is going to discourage me, not from doing the thing that has been my profession for the best part of thirty years or from doing this thing that is - literally - something brand new. My life is little more than notes and changes and incredible bad briefs that I try to turn into good TV!
(My being a 'professional writer' - for whatever value of that term - is, after all, the reason this channel is pitched around lyrics / words more than toons! :) )
If anything, this was just like any other moment in the writing room where I need to look at my work through other eyes, try to see what they see and take from that anything that is of worth to me when passed through the filter of my own taste and opinion.
The ONLY reason I answered you so extensively is BECAUSE you took the time to offer a full opinion. It was NOT in defensiveness or anger or distress, rather it was in the spirit of discussion.
The truth is, it was clear you were listening / reading with a slightly different context - perhaps thinking this was a novel, not a short story, and obviously my reading is not at all great, and probably your English is not first language - even while a billion times better than any other language I don't have. So, I gave you a full reply in the hope that maybe you would see what I see...
And yes, you also prompted me to do what would probably only have been done months or years from now, an intro to present intent and context.
For the record, Strangers on a train is about two men who meet on a train and agree to MURDER each other's wives on the assumption that nothing else connected them so they would NEVER BE SUSPECT. For some reason, that connection was made in my head even in the dream, hence the setting on a train. Not, for instance, in a park, or bus station or any other liminal place.
So, short answer, you did what I hoped people would do, and that is much to be praised.
You also watched / listened AT ALL, even with half an ear, and that is a thing for which I am eternally grateful.
So, it's all good...
You never know, maybe one day I'll read out the rest - if only to offer UP TO 44 people an opportunity to see just how dark and twisted this gets when Silver Fox joins Stranger at the bar... :)
ktf
dC