I can relate to some extent. I was raised my maternal grandparents. When I was in their home, I was their daughter. When in public they would introduced me as daughter and granddaughter in the same sentence. They would explain the whole situation about my birth parents. Made me feel like a charity case. While I was grateful to my grandparents, I never felt like I belonged. They never said it, I'm sure it was never their intent, but I felt out of place. I was grateful that they took me in. IMPORTANT NOTE: I never used the experience as an excuse to go down a self destructive path.
Los JOVENES PIENSA Q TODO EN LA VIDA ES FACIL. NO YO PENSABA Q MIS PADRES JO ME QUERIAN ETC. YO HICE MI VIDA VEO PARA EL PASADO ME DUELE LAS COSAS Q HICE SIN PENSARLO HOY AYUDO MI FAMILIA NO LES GUARDO RECOR. LO VEO AQUI USA DEJEN VIVIR LOS JOVENES SU HOGAR Q LES AYUDEN MONETARIA MENTE . MI SE FUE A LOS 26 ANOS NOS AYUDI CON DINERO. DEJEN SUS HIJOS SE VAYAN CUANDO DESEAN Q TRABAJEN TENGAN AHORROS PARA SEGUIR CON SUS VIDA. YO LE DIGO MI HIJO HALAR ES LA CLAVE DE TODO. EN ESTA VIDA DECIR LO SIENTES Y EL RESPECT. SIEMPRE LE DIGO HABLAR SIEMPRENCON LA VERDAD. ETC. .
I’m sorry you never cleared it up with them. They introduced you as daughter and granddaughter for a specific reason- you were more than just a grandchild- you were their child. They also had to admit that should your biological parents come they could take you away. They had to remember their rights are limited. They had to prepare you too for when they died , that you still have family. But they loved you to the moon and back around. Don’t ever think you were a charity case, you were a blessing in their lives- realize it and cherish your blessings. They were so selfish they couldn’t let you enter the CPS system to move from house to house and possibly be abused. They loved you more than themselves. You were precious and envied by others
The roots of this situation is that Marissa hates the fact she grew up without her biological perants and shes lashing out at her aunt, uncle, and cousins because of that.
I am sure that Marissa did receive some comments and attitudes at school because she was biracial and the family were not empathetic, for example they didn't take her to meet her black grandparents.
I think Marissa could have benefited from some counseling as a child after losing her biological Mom. As a kid that must have been so hard to deal with.
She was 6 months when she was raised by her “current family” . You don’t need to overwhelm a child at that age with counseling when basically she was given everything in the family. She was not treated differently and you can see clearly. The only time I think she might of needed counseling was when she got out of control. But then again, she’s a teen…she will hate them even more and will feel she’s different. When in fact they are trying to help her.
Many adopted children experience the same feelings of alienation from their adoptive family regardless of how loving and inclusive their family has been towards them. The knowledge that they come to understand about their birth parents causes insecurity and abandonment fears. It is magnified when their bio parents have had crime or substance abuse histories or when bio extended family on one side does not appear to be interested or care about them.
@@tonyhoffman3309this! Exactly. People tend to see pictures of a "happy family" and just assume everything is fine. And even if the home life is good it doesn't mean the kid(s) that were adopted especially when mixed race, they are naturally going to feel different and a lot are actually treated differently than the bio kids but, the parents refuse to see it or acknowledge it like it never happened. You can tell the sisters feel some type of way towards their sister too
She's projecting her anger onto them because she can't safely project it onto her bio parents. We express our emotions in our safest environment and sometimes that involves taking it out on people who aren't involved. Now I'm not condoning this, I'm just saying it makes sense and is actually a sign that she feels safe with these people. She should have gotten therapy as a child for her abandonment but that obviously didn't happen. We can only hope they all get the help they need and can heal as a family in whatever way they see fit ❤
I have a sister like this. When she claimed she got "laid off", I offered to help her. Then things weren't adding up and I found out she was fired for stealing $5,000 from her employer. Since she had already stolen from me before, I couldn't trust her to live in my house. It was so hard and I felt horrible, but that's the position the family is put in when they love the person but can't trust them.
Exactly plus let’s be realistic here they know she involved with drugs and prostitution which means she a criminal why would they want to bring that danger into their lives
I believe the girl less because she can't give a complete story. "She just knows she said this or that - but doesn't remember exactly". I don't buy it !! She has some mental things going on in her head. I saw a sign once that said - "Don't believe everything you think"
Marrisa's body language says "I'm the perpetual victim". She burned her bridges and can't understand why her family is hesitant to let her hurt them again.
She’s literally so spoiled. When she says “when I say I’m ready to change and ready to turn my life nobody wants to help me” like if she really wanted to change her ways she would do it.
@@user-hf1io1gf3qyou have to believe you have a purpose to want to change. She doesn’t have a purpose, she doesn’t even have a support system. Why change? This is all she knows how to survive.
She says that she isint but she CLEARLY is. She says she wants her family back but shes just bringing up every single issue (true or not) that she can think of. Racist, fat jokes, felt different, no relationship to black family, saying “yes i did it but-“ the BUT takes any apology back. She also did not seem remorseful at ALL its just “what about me” with her.
@@Rosey78910so i take part of that back - i wasnt finished when i replied but when he says she came out ready to fight its so accurate- shes trying to bring up everything she can think of because she doesnt want the straight up (valid) attack from everyone. She also does seem MUCH more remorseful at the end.
The way they all reacted when she said about being rap3d at 13, I 100% believe they had never ever heard that before!! I think shes been lying so much shes forgotten who she told what to over the years.
Maybe she wasn't able to tell them about that at the time... Their family is more about keeping their good name than managing a girl who is actually acting out of deep rejection in her formative years as a little girl.
@@GypsyGirl317EXACTLY the way everyone just assumes she’s lying is so annoying 🤨 why tf would we believe the family when they obviously only care ab how the family LOOKS
@@GypsyGirl317she SAID she told them. There is no way I would want someone in my life who is coming out with all of these serious accusations: ignoring Sa (parental neglect) racism; emotional and physical abuse. Nope-no way. I was adopted. Was I treated differently then my parent’s bio children, of course. I was still treated and continue to be treated VERY WELL. I will forever be grateful for my family and the opportunities they gave and continue to give me.
@@hellokity3 well maybe *_they_* aren’t “just assuming”. Maybe she has been caught in numerous lies, several times. Just like in the story of “The Boy Who Cried Wolf.” People tend to lose trust in you if all you do is lie to them. I mean she even admitted to lying about her uncle sa’ing her. If they cared so much about “looks” they wouldn’t have written to come on the show in front of a live audience and thousands, if not millions of viewers to air all of this. They are the only people that treated her really well when nobody else was there for her.
Marissa is playing victim instead of taking accountability for why she’s unhappy with herself and her life. She would rather blame others instead of putting in the work.
@@enlightened1005she is 100% doing everything wrong. I know as I have a family member exactly like her except he ACUTALLY takes accountability. All she’s doing is saying “I do this but it’s because I feel not accepted” she’s not taking accountability she’s just dodging blame and puttting it on everyone else for her poor choices.
Sounds to me like she’s got a huge chip on her shoulder. There’s no sign that she’s remotely grateful that her mum took her in , and she didn’t end up in the system. She’s acting like they owe her something. She’s using her colour as a weapon towards her family. Ungrateful and spoiled.
Sounds like she dishonestly told someone that her uncle tried to do something to her. For that reason, she would never set foot in my house again. She is dangerous.
Here is a great example of how there is no help from government for mental health, no supports for adolescents who rebel or who do drink, drugs and dangerous escorting to make money or delve In to doing the opposite of what her family wants. It's bad enough rearing your own but, to help keep her out of care and to spoil her to compensate ( biggest mistake) that is the worse thing...And, she uses the black card, the rejected second best card, she never met her father or his parents card an emotional mess that most Americans experience and it is solved only by money bags and TV ratings on a show!!!! Terrible situation.
All this young woman does, is dodging her role in all this. She blames everyone but herself. She doesn't even stop for a second and think that she was not put in the system because her aunt took her in. Yet all she does, blame.
She made her choices, she knows exactly how they feel about the escort work ( yes, it is very dangerous and could put an entire family in danger ), but she would rather act like a victim instead of getting help. Making a change starts with the person getting the proper help, not blaming family members. Victim mentalty is an ugly thing. She didnt want to grow up.
She has alot of issues. She needs serious long term therpy. She feels she a outcast and no one like her but she doesn't really like herself either. She doing very bad and negative things to feed that low self-esteem and make her feel even worst about herself
Well I wonder y she dosent like herself. Look at these self righteous bio family all hangin up on her. They r takin no responsibility 4 ther disgustin behaviour.
I think that unwittingly, the mother's over compensation with Marissa has bred a spoilt, indulged, entitled little brat. I don't think it was intentional, but this girl takes no responsibility for her own life. She clearly felt as a teenager that she should continue to be spoilt no matter her behaviour. When the parents put their foot down, she basically had a tantrum and left. All this talk about being an outcast is nonsense. She had a loving, caring family, and she threw it all away because she felt they should indulge and support her bad decisions rather than call her out on them. She's a brat, and her situation is all of her own making. Many people have really tough childhoods but still make a success of their life despite everything. She needs to be held accountable, not mollicoddled.
That's exactly what happened. She mistreated her own.children in the process as they were treated as less than Marissa. The mother is lucky she didn't create huge jealousy issues between them. There should have been equal treatment. And possibly professional help if Marissa needed it.
Exactly it’s the way she talks you can tell she spoiled. She does all these dangerous bad things and even steals from them yet thinks she’s entitled to sleep in their home?
@@tahnai_kyree1237exactly. Imagine knowing that the family is counting down to when u turn 18 so that they can kick u out. That would already make u feel so unwanted to be in the home in the first place, which is why she left at 17.
I’ve watched a lot of Dr Phil shows and I don’t remember ever feeling as touched to the core as with this one. So much pain. And so much love. Thank you for helping this family ❤
I know I dont usually watch Dr. phil but I cried and laughed. This is not just entertainment these are lessons for all of us in how to love and be loved.
Marissa never says one consistent story. She says she's a liar and a thief but her family should accept her like that. No they shouldn't. She says what do I do? Get a job? It's not easy. Actually, it is. If she had ever just went home and behaved she wouldn't have had to do all this. She created her life and blamed them.
@@hellokity3I came to say this very thing. She has owned up to everything she has done. The only ones that haven't owned to anything is the aunt and the cousins / sisters
@@hellokity3 and after admitting all of that she’s still blaming them for her outcome! How about appreciate the fact your aunt took you in after your bio mom went to prison! She’s blaming them for not getting to know her biological dad’s side but it’s literally not their place to do that! Him and his family could’ve reached out to his kid!!
@@Ninnjette- Same. I can only imagine how lovely that would have been. There are people here who have mentioned it is a lot to come to terms with when you're rejected by a biological parent. It's a lot to come to terms with when the biological parent actively hates you and you are stuck living with them.
Hmmm, she made a mess of her life and doesn’t want to take responsibility for her bad choices. Instead she played the victim, chose the self-pity way and put the blame on the family. The family was shocked to hear about the rape. I genuinely believe she came up with the story to bolster her victim play. Oh my, what a messed up young woman.
Nonsense. She has enough to destroy a family so she can do what she wants, when she wants to. Now she’s playing victim because she wants the money and love back. She hasn’t earned it yet.
This kid is manipulative and dishonest. Someone has whispered into her ear that she’s a victim, and that someone ( her family) is responsible… and she is trouble, and that family needs to let her go.
No…they’re doing exactly what they should. They are loving her from afar but trying to keep hope and be there for her if and when she says or shows she wants help. Doing what you suggest doesn’t actually help anything and just requires people to become completely selfish and callous…and that is no solution.
My eldest child did the same thing. She was loved, adored, doted on, emotionally and financially supported and as soon as she graduated college and got a job she got on meds and created a false backstory of abuse and neglect to justify being prescribed drugs and her personality totally changed to a mean, angry victim. We haven’t spoken in six years.
so sorry to hear that mama but I know this situation is painful and heavy on your heart, but sometimes, protecting your own peace is the most important thing. You’ve done what you can, and it's okay to take a step back when you need to. Trust that in time, things may change, and know that you’re doing what’s right for your well-being right now stay strong
Happened to my best friend. Her son went no-contact after she didn’t give him money. But she is besties with her daughter. Both raised in the same loving environment. The son is getting the exact treatment from his soon-to-be ex wife & he’s desperate to get back with her. He fails to see the irony.
IDK why kids do that. Make up childhood abuse or exaggerate stories ... In my experience they usually snap back to reality (it may take some time & some counseling) but one thing I've learned is even if you do NOT agree with some of an adult child's false memories you have to validate their feelings, otherwise they will continue to be upset or Angry...
“If we lock ourselves in a prison of failure and self-pity, we are the only jailers…we have the only key to our freedom” - Og Mandino The victim mentality is a prison. If you can’t respect other people’s boundaries, you don’t deserve to be in their life.
It is so tough raising teenagers. She will one day look back & regret the things she did & then she will reap what she sowed when she has teens. (Although I hope she doesn't have to endure that.) All we as parents can do is build a firm foundation, instill good values & pray for the best. I hope they were able to come out the other side as a stronger family unit.
A parent saying "you lie about everything" leaves a child feeling there is no way to regain trust. Especially if the initial lies were told to get attention or help.
Bingo. There is very little attempt at true empathy here, from the parents, siblings, or the host. Basically, it's just "fit into what we have decided the world should look like and make us feel good about our actions" or hit the road, kid.
The family is absolutely doing the right thing not letting Marissa move in with them there are times when you have to practice tough love and this is one reason them Marissa is a spoiled brat who made bad decisions and now doesn’t like dealing with the consequences. She was 18 years old she chose to leave the family couldn’t stop her from leaving but they have obligation to let her come in or support her. It’s ridiculous that she thinks the family have to justify going on vacations without her and justify that they are enjoying their lives. They worked hard to build a life they can be proud of they don’t owe her any explanation and they currently don’t need her permission or approval to spend their money on whatever they want to.
I disagree. If you accept someone as your child, you do not give up on them. It does not mean that you let them move in with you, definitely not, but there other ways to be supportive and keep in contact with them.
@@logikwinz759she pushed them out of her life. They had to protect themselves from what she was doing. She is of full mental capacity. She knew that dangerous people were who she was dealing with. She would not have protected the family from the evil she is involved with. How can anyone be expected to sacrifice their own family for one person who doesn't care. I had to turn my back on a nephew because of this very type of thing. Meth heads will kill you when high. My child won't be a victim of that. I realized when he was a teen he couldn't follow directions not to break the law! Like that was my baseline. Don't break the law. But he wouldn't listen and I had to protect my daughter. He had to go home to his parents. He hated that but I had spent $3k on lawyers to keep him from going to prison got him into rehab and he was doing great for 8 months. Then bio parents visit. He is failing drug tests in rehab after every visit fired from the job they let him work. They said clock starts over at day 1 cause you used. Guess what. Ran away with his mom and ended up breaking probation. Went to jail for 6 months. His baby he had while on the run with a girl spent that time without him. Got out and has gone back 4 times. Is in lock up right now. Guess what.... Always someone else's fault!!! Never he made bad decisions and shouldn't be on drugs. Never admits that drugs are bad. Scum bag wouldn't even visit his grandma before she died. But he did go steal a TV from her while she was in hospice!!! So yeah these people like Marissa don't care and no amount of family love or support would change it. Marissa had a family love her and try and she still did this. My nephew had a family love him and try. But you cannot change someone else. So you protect yourselves from them. Nephew robbed my niece and stole from her inlaws. He would rob anyone he had the chance to. So we don't let him around. Period. This family needs to know that Marissa is the same. Maybe Dr. Phil could help but not unless she wants to actually change and be accountable for her own damn actions and choices.
This situation begs the question, does “Nature” or “Nuture” influence a child? Which is greater? Her biological parents are both in prison. This family took her in and raised her. Yet in many ways she took the path of her biological parents. I hope the opportunity Dr. Phil offers will help her! She’s obviously cute, smart, and has so much potential!
There IS evidence that a significantly increased risk that adoptee would be convicted of crime if both parents are convicted of crimes. Twin studies also show heritable risks from criminal behaviour too.
Yeah I was thinking about this too. I have an ex who I was with for 7 years. He and his identical twin brother were adopted by a very wealthy and influential family. They were good, stable, normal people, yet both brothers turned out to be compulsive liars as adults (as in, clinically diagnosable level of lying, not just some little white lies here and there, but BIG lies and CONSTANTLY about EVERYTHING). It proved to me that nature/biology/genetics play a HUGE role in how people turn out. I think Marissa in this episode is another good example of that. If I had to make a guess, I'd bet some decent money that her parents have a major victim mentality and chip on their shoulders too. Poor girl really needs some professional help. I feel bad for her family.
She has potential but so do so many who haven’t stolen lied, betrayed and prostituted themselves needlessly. Help them first rather than manipulative liars.
There is no helping some people. They want to live in constant victim hood. This girl is so lucky to have these people because she could have ended up in the foster care system and that would have been a million times worse
Your first sentence says it all. No matter what you do it will not matter. They do not care. I will never take in anyone in need ever again. Such a similar situation to mine. Cuts like a knife. Never again
I will say I have relatives who were far worse off than this girl, with a far worse mindset and with terrible interactions with family, and they managed to pull themselves out of the gutter. Hopefully she is able to get help and a new perspective on life. Maybe separating herself from her family is for her best...sometimes certain people are not healthy in one's life, regardless of who is at fault.
Maybe her mom wouldn’t let them, my sister raised her grand daughters because their mom couldn’t handle it, my sister begged to adopt them but their mom wouldn’t consent to it
If they view her as a “good deed” and not THEIR FREAKING CHILD then it is no wonder she felt like she didn’t belong. She is completely messed up, needs therapy and I’m sure was extremely difficult to parent, but to have all 4 of them sit there and not admit even 1 teeny tiny thing they could have done differently… she is better off getting better and finding a new family of friends. They will never let go of her past or their need to be perfect
@@DanielleSmith-uo3ur I can’t even imagine how you reached that conclusion. It’s clear she has a serious personality disorder and they are worried about her because they truly LOVE her. This is not an abusive family at all. Did you not hear Dr Phil say it’s above their pay grade to be able to help her? Did you not hear Dr Phil agree that they shouldn’t allow her into their homes now? Why do you think that is? It’s because no matter how imperfect they may be, they didn’t cause this, and they can’t fix this either because of that. There is no evidence at all that every messed up person is because of bad parenting. Genetics, friends, life events, drugs etc are all culprits. I’m guessing she got into the wrong type of friends, starting taking drugs, was encouraged by the friends to prostitute for money for the drugs, and slid down that slope.
I have an ex who I was with for 7 years. He and his identical twin brother were adopted by a very wealthy and influential family. They are good, stable, normal parents, yet both brothers turned out to be compulsive liars as adults (as in, clinically diagnosable level of lying, not just some little white lies here and there, but BIG lies and CONSTANTLY about EVERYTHING). It proved to me that nature/biology/genetics play a HUGE role in how people turn out. I think Marissa in this episode is another good example of that. If I had to make a guess, I'd bet some decent money that her parents have a major victim mentality and display self destructive behavior too. Poor girl really needs some professional help. I feel bad for her family. I definitely believe their side of things more than her sob stories.
@@cecillec2331 Interesting! Although I saw evidence of that myself, I didn't actually go look into any studies (which is surprising because I'm a very curious person and normally I'll intensely investigate things). I will have to go find that study and check it out. Thanks! 👍🏼😁
My youngest sister is adopted...as am I ..but when she hit around 14 she did go through this faze of anger and resentment because she didn't get to grow up with her bio fam...We had great mom and a freat homelife..and she was spoiled more then anyone cause she was the youngest...But she took her anger out on our mom ...Her bio mom was a drug addict and alot of her family was as well ...just not a great environment to grow up in ...So yeah Our mom did protect her away from them ..But I just think she couldn't appreciate that at the time ..But the difference is ..by the time my lil sis was 18 and in college she grew out of it and realized how lucky and privileged she was ...Alot of black kids who are born in a crack house dont make it out of those circumstances without alot of scars...This woman is grown ..and its about time she grows out of this faze and stop projecting her feeling of rejection from her bio parents/fam..and her own self hatred and learn to be grateful for those who did stick around ..Her aunt/adopted mom probably made alot of mistakes and isnt perfect...But she is the one who stuck around when that Bio fam she's crying about was no where to be found.
Marissa level of entitlement is astonishing she stole from her family shows absolutely no remorse or appreciation whatsoever but some how she has the audacity to be mad at them and act like the sisters are betraying her because they are enjoying the fruits of their labors. They worked hard to build a life they can be proud of they get up and work an honest job and they do have to justify spending their money on a vacation or whatever else they want to spend their money on. They didn’t get involved with drugs they didn’t steal from her and they have no duty to help support her
Why doesn't she go ask her black family to sleep on their couch? No One wants to have liar, cheater, smoker, drinker, chaos in the house? No One. She did just like other daughters do and wanted to do what she wants when she wants without any effort on her part to do the right thing 😢I am a happy camper and I love to work and I am a total LONER - I don't ask anyone for anything and I'm never bored because there is too much to do, especially when there is a slacker, rebellious, thief, liar, etc... My bar is very high and I only allow pleasant company. I can feel good about myself because I did sacrifice a lot for everyone in my family and help more often than I should have while I did my BEST in everything I do. So no guilty conscience .. Very MANIPULATIVE .. It took me a long time to get to the place that I Now Say NO - No more deadbeats sleeping on my couch while I wait of them hand and foot - and they complain. They for the most part it takes strong discipline to keep these children straight and successful - MOST REBEL just like her and get pregnant by some thug - I'm not confident she will stick with the program and quit lying But I pray Lord please bless this family and especially Marissa 🙏
She wasn’t an adult at 15..? Kids don’t just turn out like this. They don’t. It’s 100% how they are raised. Maybe she is a victim. Looks a whole lot like emotional abuse, I went through the same thing, and I ran away as well. Would a real parent tell their real kids to leave if they don’t like something? They very much shouldn’t.
I've been far off of the path I launched from myself, and starting over can be so overwhelming that we become stuck in a mode of reacting and surviving instead of living and being proactive. I'm so glad Dr Phil intervened and is helping this family. The love is clearly there, and I pray they patch up their wounds and heal stronger than they were before!
I've heard stories like this a lot. It is in the baby's DNA. She/he was brought to loving family, but when they were entering adolance, they started behaving like their biological parents.
I don’t think it is biological. When my nieces were taken by CPS because my sister and her now ex-husband were drug addicts and they were standing outside at night on the corner of the service rd with ice and snow on the ground with a sign asking for money, my 4 yr old niece was in shorts tennis shoes no socks and my 9 month old niece had on a summer onesie wrapped in a thin blanket. Both girls were close to having frostbite fingers and toes when cops saw them to the hospital and arrested my sister and x-BIL. They girls went into foster care. My sister and x-BIL were in and out of jail every time we turned around. Eventually they lost their parental rights and the girls were adopted together by a good family. They found us when my youngest niece was 22. They both grew up to be good women with a wonderful education. They are now both married and have kids, they are amazing parents. So I don’t think it has to do with dna.
It's also called "The Primal Wound" - there's a book of this title. People who are adopted have rejection in the deepest places of their subconscious. This often results in them acting out at adolescence, and often they themselves don't even know or understand how it happens.
That precious child is crying out for help, she completely broke me. Dear God, please wrap her up in your all mighty arms and protect her and guide her as she navigates this journey.
Amen…. Just starting the vid in 1 min… I know where this is going… so many red flags. Let’s lift her up in light! Blessed be, to all of us. Especially her.
She’s mad at them because she wants them to rescue her from the consequences of her bad choices while still making those same bad choices. She also doesn’t want to be judged for them…. While still making them and experiencing their consequences. The whole world can tell her she’s screwing up but she won’t listen. She’ll listen to those people who care nothing about her but who will agree with her. Them, she’ll listen to.
I just hate when someone play victim card, be thankful they give you home thats the first thing you should do, parents smack kid its normal, we all get smack even from our birth mother, thats not victim card girl
Being raped and not believed is being a victim more than once. Then she became a volunteer. They didn't protect her or help her when she needed them the most. That's not love, that's betrayal, neglect and abuse.
She says she's struggling yet she has her hair done nice, her nails done, nice clothes and jewelry. Escorts make good money. That girl is lying in my opinion.
Your Dads family you sought out, did they help you,did you sleep on their couch ? Your cousins and your adopted parents. Were amazing,you didn’t like it…..live with it, your choice.
The more I watch, Dr. Phil, the more I believe he is an angel on earth. Praise to our Heavenly FATHER and bless HIM for sending Dr Phil and giving him the wisdom to help the broken.
Marissa does not want this family, she is such a manipulator! She is a narcissist! She is not grateful that this family took her in!! She had options but made poor choices. She is an adult, she needs to figure it out! This family has done enough for her!
If anybody is the manipulator & a narcissist is the mother , father and the two sisters well technically they are her cousins . Your blaming the victim typical .
Marissa is just selfish. She should be grateful that is family take care of her and love her but she blames others for her choices. She should realize that her own mom cannot be there for her.
I'm waiting for Dr. Phil to ask Marissa, "how is your life choice working for you?" She admitted her poor choices led to her leaving & it was her decision. She wasn't willing to change to remain in a stable home. She looks too happy in the photos when she was younger to not have been loved. My mother didn't say she loved me very much, but it was understood. She is 86 and tells me all the time now.
Unfortunately, perception is reality. Regardless of the truth, if someone truly believes something, that is the reality for that person. This girl definately has issues and needs help...if for nobody else but herself.
Her problem is she never accepted who she is. That turns her to be the most ungrateful, selfish and rude person to the people who care and love her the most. So sad.
I'm sorry Marrisa for your situation. Your aunt is the sweetest to raise ever since your own mother couldn't. This family is amazing 👏 for everything they did and do for you. You did everything to yourself for a personal reason , that has nothing to do with this side of your family. If o were you , I will apologize to them and accept their love and help. They have no obligation to chase your father or his relatives. Again I wish one day you'll turn your life around. Dr Phis is phenomenal .
THIS IS ONE OF HIS SHOWS I NEED TO HAVE AN AFTER THE HELP EPISODE. LIKE A BEFORE N AFTER. BLESS THEIR HEARTS. THEY ALL SEE LIKE JUST GOOD PEOPLE NOT PERFECT, JUST GOOD PEOPLE. GOD BLESS THEM WITH HEALING AND SUCCESS IN THEIR FAMILY.
I don't think her family is innocent, but i do think they truly love her. As for the rape thing, they did seem genuinely shocked. I wonder if she did go to them, but it wasn't as clearly said to them as she makes it sound. Bottom line, I don't doubt the family has donw stuff wrong, but like I said, they do love her.
This young woman is a clear lier and has consistently dug her hole deeper. She is smart and using this victimhood argument to blame others for her selfishness.
@@raymclean2372 not necessarily a race thing. As I understand it he was a criminal too and it makes sense to not want that influence in your life, especially when you have other children to protect as well.
This was probably from about 10 years ago...what is the UPDATE? Please provide working link and as much info as possible. They should have put that in the description.
Did you seriously ask where's her black family when her sister had the nasty attitude regarding the black family? Did you ever think that maybe they didn't know where she was due to the sisters nasty attitude? If the sister didn't allow them to meet her how would they able to keep up with her? Don't blame the family? This is what really irritates me! Did you not hear the sister? The way she responded about the family do you think she would have kept in contact with the family? They probably are like most families, thinking that she will reach out to them.
As Dr Phil says Marissa has got the I'm gonna get them before they get me syndrome, paranoia. She is hurting and has huge huge trust issues she can't take being let down one more time because she doesn't have enough faith in her own ability to handle being hurt again. Good news this can be fixed little steps and boundaries.
Thank you. Somebody who truly understands. I'm a counsellor, and given her start in life, and her biracial status, I completely understand her outcomes. Also this family appear more concerned about their name and reputation than about Marissa's emotional pain which is what has driven her choices. ❤
The victim, black and pity cards played all at the same time. Zero accountability for her actions. Everybody else fault. Family got sick of her shenanigan. Hard to show empathy for someone that repeats the same mistake over and over and over again.
As a parent, I would have not known what to do. They raised her as their very own. When teens act up , it isn't easy to know what to do. Very stressful situation.
She needs to take some self responsibility if there’s anyone to blame it’s her biological parents not these kind people who took her in and loved her. It’s hard parenting your own children, they tried with her and she abused their trust. They can sort it out if they wipe the slate clean.
Marissa chose to leave rhe family that loved her to rhe fullest that parrnts can and qhen she lived a miserable life she blwmes her family and becomeenvious of the hsppy goings on of them. Her lufe now is rhe result of her iindecision , hardheadedness and ungratefulness. May God pick her up and put her back whole zgain❤
This girl is mad at her bio parents for being giant screw ups incapable of parenting due to their actions. And is choosing to take it out on the people that love her and care for her cause they are the closest people to her. She has zero accountability for her actions and incapable of being able to accept love since she’s felt rejection since inception.
Thank you Dr Phil for telling her how aggressive she has been. No one can put up with the volume of abuse she dished out blaming others for her actions, behavior and poor judgment. She is capable of hurting others to get even
THIS episode right after 'Some People Don't Want Kids' episode. 😂 She's a mess and needs some deep psychoanalysis to try to get over or around the fact that SHE feels less-than because of her birth parents. Good luck, Marissa, you're young, hopefully you'll figure it out before you waste more of your life in hatred toward the ONLY people who helped you.
Want more Dr. Phil content? Watch more full episodes here: ua-cam.com/play/PL2h7Wy4Xi82h8XXlkWoksfLIu0wb8r8IX.html
I can relate to some extent. I was raised my maternal grandparents. When I was in their home, I was their daughter. When in public they would introduced me as daughter and granddaughter in the same sentence. They would explain the whole situation about my birth parents. Made me feel like a charity case. While I was grateful to my grandparents, I never felt like I belonged. They never said it, I'm sure it was never their intent, but I felt out of place. I was grateful that they took me in. IMPORTANT NOTE: I never used the experience as an excuse to go down a self destructive path.
Los JOVENES PIENSA Q TODO EN LA VIDA ES FACIL. NO YO PENSABA Q MIS PADRES JO ME QUERIAN ETC. YO HICE MI VIDA VEO PARA EL PASADO ME DUELE LAS COSAS Q HICE SIN PENSARLO HOY AYUDO MI FAMILIA NO LES GUARDO RECOR. LO VEO AQUI USA DEJEN VIVIR LOS JOVENES SU HOGAR Q LES AYUDEN MONETARIA MENTE . MI SE FUE A LOS 26 ANOS NOS AYUDI CON DINERO. DEJEN SUS HIJOS SE VAYAN CUANDO DESEAN Q TRABAJEN TENGAN AHORROS PARA SEGUIR CON SUS VIDA. YO LE DIGO MI HIJO HALAR ES LA CLAVE DE TODO. EN ESTA VIDA DECIR LO SIENTES Y EL RESPECT. SIEMPRE LE DIGO HABLAR SIEMPRENCON LA VERDAD. ETC.
.
Dr Phil this is why I connect with you, you understand people
I’m sorry you never cleared it up with them. They introduced you as daughter and granddaughter for a specific reason- you were more than just a grandchild- you were their child. They also had to admit that should your biological parents come they could take you away. They had to remember their rights are limited. They had to prepare you too for when they died , that you still have family. But they loved you to the moon and back around. Don’t ever think you were a charity case, you were a blessing in their lives- realize it and cherish your blessings. They were so selfish they couldn’t let you enter the CPS system to move from house to house and possibly be abused. They loved you more than themselves. You were precious and envied by others
@@yolirivera51853 thank you for your kinds words 🙂
The roots of this situation is that Marissa hates the fact she grew up without her biological perants and shes lashing out at her aunt, uncle, and cousins because of that.
amen! she feels abandoned and it's not by them it was her loser biologicals. the good folks took her in and she should be grateful.
@@Schleg969 amen to that.
Truth. Amen
Agree. She struggled with being different, looking different, and not having her biological parents.
I am sure that Marissa did receive some comments and attitudes at school because she was biracial and the family were not empathetic, for example they didn't take her to meet her black grandparents.
Rejection (from her biological parents) is the root of her feeling like an outcast...
And the fact she looks black is biracial .
I know she grew up around all people who didn’t look like her
Amen
I feel for this girl but she is mad at the wrong people.
That's exactly right. Poor girl.
The same people that called her fat and derogatory names. I believe she mad at the right people.
@@dvnstwrt00notice her aunt when she was accused of calling her a fat b*tch? "Who took you to weight watchers?" She didn't deny saying it. 😢
@@dvnstwrt00 If that's the worst she got then she is lucky. She had so many advantages growing up. So much more than many.
@@It-is-me...MelsieI know you’re not excusing verbal abuse because it’s not as severe as what most kids have. Take several seats with your idiocy
I think Marissa could have benefited from some counseling as a child after losing her biological Mom. As a kid that must have been so hard to deal with.
Precisely ❤
She was 6 months when she was raised by her “current family” . You don’t need to overwhelm a child at that age with counseling when basically she was given everything in the family. She was not treated differently and you can see clearly. The only time I think she might of needed counseling was when she got out of control. But then again, she’s a teen…she will hate them even more and will feel she’s different. When in fact they are trying to help her.
Many adopted children experience the same feelings of alienation from their adoptive family regardless of how loving and inclusive their family has been towards them. The knowledge that they come to understand about their birth parents causes insecurity and abandonment fears. It is magnified when their bio parents have had crime or substance abuse histories or when bio extended family on one side does not appear to be interested or care about them.
@@tonyhoffman3309this! Exactly. People tend to see pictures of a "happy family" and just assume everything is fine. And even if the home life is good it doesn't mean the kid(s) that were adopted especially when mixed race, they are naturally going to feel different and a lot are actually treated differently than the bio kids but, the parents refuse to see it or acknowledge it like it never happened. You can tell the sisters feel some type of way towards their sister too
It's obviously the root of her problems. I hope she learns to love herself.
I wish my biological parents gave me the love & support that you've had from you parents & family.
Right?!
They are not biological parents
Yeah poor you
@@mistyknights8624they're her biological aunt and uncle
@@gisellep177 I know and ? I was telling the person that posted the comment it was not her parents that was to @ eminence687
She's angry but she is blasting at the wrong people. They took care of her and loved her. She is actually mad at her biological parents.
She's projecting her anger onto them because she can't safely project it onto her bio parents. We express our emotions in our safest environment and sometimes that involves taking it out on people who aren't involved. Now I'm not condoning this, I'm just saying it makes sense and is actually a sign that she feels safe with these people. She should have gotten therapy as a child for her abandonment but that obviously didn't happen. We can only hope they all get the help they need and can heal as a family in whatever way they see fit ❤
I think she’s a professional victim. Her family should stay away
Marissa admitted committing crimes and stealing from her family…and then later says “why didn’t you let me sleep on your couch?” Uh…..
I have a sister like this. When she claimed she got "laid off", I offered to help her. Then things weren't adding up and I found out she was fired for stealing $5,000 from her employer. Since she had already stolen from me before, I couldn't trust her to live in my house. It was so hard and I felt horrible, but that's the position the family is put in when they love the person but can't trust them.
Exactly plus let’s be realistic here they know she involved with drugs and prostitution which means she a criminal why would they want to bring that danger into their lives
Why didn't dr phil make those people own up to their bs!!!!
@@SandraWho_71 What do you mean specifically??
I believe the girl less because she can't give a complete story. "She just knows she said this or that - but doesn't remember exactly". I don't buy it !! She has some mental things going on in her head. I saw a sign once that said - "Don't believe everything you think"
Marrisa's body language says "I'm the perpetual victim". She burned her bridges and can't understand why her family is hesitant to let her hurt them again.
Love when experts weigh in.
@@wendyhardin5259I raised two kids. I understand body language
@@lisamariepocza4377you raised your own kids and those kids didn’t lose their parents
She’s literally so spoiled. When she says “when I say I’m ready to change and ready to turn my life nobody wants to help me” like if she really wanted to change her ways she would do it.
@@user-hf1io1gf3qyou have to believe you have a purpose to want to change. She doesn’t have a purpose, she doesn’t even have a support system. Why change? This is all she knows how to survive.
She blaming everybody else for her bad choices
As I recall she specifically said she doesn’t blame them for the choices she made!
@@Rosey78910That's all she's been doing! Blaming everybody else!
I'm sure Dr Phil will blame the family
She says that she isint but she CLEARLY is. She says she wants her family back but shes just bringing up every single issue (true or not) that she can think of. Racist, fat jokes, felt different, no relationship to black family, saying “yes i did it but-“ the BUT takes any apology back. She also did not seem remorseful at ALL its just “what about me” with her.
@@Rosey78910so i take part of that back - i wasnt finished when i replied but when he says she came out ready to fight its so accurate- shes trying to bring up everything she can think of because she doesnt want the straight up (valid) attack from everyone. She also does seem MUCH more remorseful at the end.
The way they all reacted when she said about being rap3d at 13, I 100% believe they had never ever heard that before!! I think shes been lying so much shes forgotten who she told what to over the years.
SAME!!! The immediate shocked reaction says everything.
Maybe she wasn't able to tell them about that at the time...
Their family is more about keeping their good name than managing a girl who is actually acting out of deep rejection in her formative years as a little girl.
@@GypsyGirl317EXACTLY the way everyone just assumes she’s lying is so annoying 🤨 why tf would we believe the family when they obviously only care ab how the family LOOKS
@@GypsyGirl317she SAID she told them. There is no way I would want someone in my life who is coming out with all of these serious accusations: ignoring Sa (parental neglect) racism; emotional and physical abuse. Nope-no way. I was adopted. Was I treated differently then my parent’s bio children, of course. I was still treated and continue to be treated VERY WELL. I will forever be grateful for my family and the opportunities they gave and continue to give me.
@@hellokity3 well maybe *_they_* aren’t “just assuming”. Maybe she has been caught in numerous lies, several times. Just like in the story of “The Boy Who Cried Wolf.” People tend to lose trust in you if all you do is lie to them. I mean she even admitted to lying about her uncle sa’ing her. If they cared so much about “looks” they wouldn’t have written to come on the show in front of a live audience and thousands, if not millions of viewers to air all of this. They are the only people that treated her really well when nobody else was there for her.
Marissa is playing victim instead of taking accountability for why she’s unhappy with herself and her life. She would rather blame others instead of putting in the work.
I dare you to walk in shoes and tell me she is playing a victim. She has owned up to every wrong doing. They failed her.
1,000 % Agreed she plays the family and pointing fingers at everyone But her...
She's playing victim! @@enlightened1005
@@enlightened1005she is 100% doing everything wrong. I know as I have a family member exactly like her except he ACUTALLY takes accountability. All she’s doing is saying “I do this but it’s because I feel not accepted” she’s not taking accountability she’s just dodging blame and puttting it on everyone else for her poor choices.
Dr. Phil is so good. He speaks hard but compassionate truth.
Sounds to me like she’s got a huge chip on her shoulder. There’s no sign that she’s remotely grateful that her mum took her in , and she didn’t end up in the system. She’s acting like they owe her something. She’s using her colour as a weapon towards her family. Ungrateful and spoiled.
Sounds like she dishonestly told someone that her uncle tried to do something to her. For that reason, she would never set foot in my house again. She is dangerous.
Agreed.
Thank you!
Here is a great example of how there is no help from government for mental health, no supports for adolescents who rebel or who do drink, drugs and dangerous escorting to make money or delve In to doing the opposite of what her family wants. It's bad enough rearing your own but, to help keep her out of care and to spoil her to compensate ( biggest mistake) that is the worse thing...And, she uses the black card, the rejected second best card, she never met her father or his parents card an emotional mess that most Americans experience and it is solved only by money bags and TV ratings on a show!!!! Terrible situation.
@@Katie-sf7jt that’s a point I had not fully considered because of her getting devoured by an industry.
All this young woman does, is dodging her role in all this. She blames everyone but herself. She doesn't even stop for a second and think that she was not put in the system because her aunt took her in. Yet all she does, blame.
BS… open your eyes. She was very open about what she has done wrong
So typical isn't it of her and them.
she admitted her wrong doings, but the family didn't. They only blame her
She made her choices, she knows exactly how they feel about the escort work ( yes, it is very dangerous and could put an entire family in danger ), but she would rather act like a victim instead of getting help. Making a change starts with the person getting the proper help, not blaming family members. Victim mentalty is an ugly thing. She didnt want to grow up.
Well said!
She’s young she may grow up. It’s just gonna take a long time in this case.
"why didn't you fix my problems for me?!?! Even after I robbed you and lied to you, fix my problems because i'm entitled and lazy"
She has alot of issues. She needs serious long term therpy. She feels she a outcast and no one like her but she doesn't really like herself either. She doing very bad and negative things to feed that low self-esteem and make her feel even worst about herself
She is her mother daughter
@@Diane-ne4oq I have a sister like Marissa. You are exactly right. No matter what we do, she has poor self esteem and won't get help.
I See hier the tipical narcisistic family system ..... I'm not defending Marissa but, her behavior doesn't come by it self. 😒
Well I wonder y she dosent like herself. Look at these self righteous bio family all hangin up on her. They r takin no responsibility 4 ther disgustin behaviour.
Ganging.
I think that unwittingly, the mother's over compensation with Marissa has bred a spoilt, indulged, entitled little brat. I don't think it was intentional, but this girl takes no responsibility for her own life. She clearly felt as a teenager that she should continue to be spoilt no matter her behaviour. When the parents put their foot down, she basically had a tantrum and left. All this talk about being an outcast is nonsense. She had a loving, caring family, and she threw it all away because she felt they should indulge and support her bad decisions rather than call her out on them. She's a brat, and her situation is all of her own making. Many people have really tough childhoods but still make a success of their life despite everything. She needs to be held accountable, not mollicoddled.
Well said! 100% agree!
Correctamundo.
That's exactly what happened. She mistreated her own.children in the process as they were treated as less than Marissa. The mother is lucky she didn't create huge jealousy issues between them. There should have been equal treatment. And possibly professional help if Marissa needed it.
I think she was fully aware that she was the outsider. And resented that.
Exactly it’s the way she talks you can tell she spoiled. She does all these dangerous bad things and even steals from them yet thinks she’s entitled to sleep in their home?
Marissa: chooses to move out
Marissa: 'My family abandoned me.'
Uhhhhh what.
Fr 😂
did you miss the part when she said they was gonna kick her out when she was 18😒
@@tahnai_kyree1237 girl I'm reading these comments and I'm like, so can't nobody see Marissa is truly a victim?
@@DeivionSheppard right 😂like what’s wrong with everyone
@@tahnai_kyree1237exactly. Imagine knowing that the family is counting down to when u turn 18 so that they can kick u out. That would already make u feel so unwanted to be in the home in the first place, which is why she left at 17.
I’ve watched a lot of Dr Phil shows and I don’t remember ever feeling as touched to the core as with this one. So much pain. And so much love. Thank you for helping this family ❤
I know I dont usually watch Dr. phil but I cried and laughed. This is not just entertainment these are lessons for all of us in how to love and be loved.
I bet I've watched several hundred episodes. First time I've ever cried.
Some people make it hard to love them.
And sometimes you have to love those people from afar so they don’t drag you down with the
@@burlykim132Great point. You don't need to surround yourself with trouble if you can avoid it.
Marissa never says one consistent story. She says she's a liar and a thief but her family should accept her like that. No they shouldn't. She says what do I do? Get a job? It's not easy. Actually, it is. If she had ever just went home and behaved she wouldn't have had to do all this. She created her life and blamed them.
Marisa needs help. This poor aunt gave her a home, food, a place to lay her head, clothes and she rebels by talking smack about her!
I hope this woman got the help she needed. Hope her family got some too.
This girl is unreal. No accountability for anything. It's all her mom's fault. It's everyone else's fault. Grow up.
She needs to go find her bio parents.
I agree🤦🏾♀️
she literally admitted to sneaking out, lying, stealing and all the other things soooo how is there no accountability?
@@hellokity3I came to say this very thing. She has owned up to everything she has done. The only ones that haven't owned to anything is the aunt and the cousins / sisters
@@hellokity3 and after admitting all of that she’s still blaming them for her outcome! How about appreciate the fact your aunt took you in after your bio mom went to prison! She’s blaming them for not getting to know her biological dad’s side but it’s literally not their place to do that! Him and his family could’ve reached out to his kid!!
Pity party galore. No appreciation. These people love her and she just wants to punish them for her bad choices
I would give anything, to have grown up in a stable family like that. She wasted it, when others would have appreciated it so much. T
Ah, yes, but being a victim compensates for having to confront and turn around their own demons. Self pity is the colour of the day.
@@Ninnjette- Same. I can only imagine how lovely that would have been.
There are people here who have mentioned it is a lot to come to terms with when you're rejected by a biological parent. It's a lot to come to terms with when the biological parent actively hates you and you are stuck living with them.
Hmmm, she made a mess of her life and doesn’t want to take responsibility for her bad choices. Instead she played the victim, chose the self-pity way and put the blame on the family. The family was shocked to hear about the rape. I genuinely believe she came up with the story to bolster her victim play. Oh my, what a messed up young woman.
Absolutely! She has a violent streak as well.
but still not a reason to throw her away,
“We accept the love we think we deserve” this poor girl has no self-esteem at all
It's in her DNA. She's a bad apple
Nonsense. She has enough to destroy a family so she can do what she wants, when she wants to. Now she’s playing victim because she wants the money and love back. She hasn’t earned it yet.
She is a spoilt b. Very very ungrateful
@@GenMe2024 You don’t know anything about their situation. It’s never a kids fault for how you act, it’s always how they are raised.
My heart hurts for Marissa 😢
She decided not to follow the house rules and show respect. She's not a victim.
This kid is manipulative and dishonest. Someone has whispered into her ear that she’s a victim, and that someone ( her family) is responsible… and she is trouble, and that family needs to let her go.
Yes! That’s exactly what I thought!
Agree 110%
No…they’re doing exactly what they should. They are loving her from afar but trying to keep hope and be there for her if and when she says or shows she wants help. Doing what you suggest doesn’t actually help anything and just requires people to become completely selfish and callous…and that is no solution.
My eldest child did the same thing. She was loved, adored, doted on, emotionally and financially supported and as soon as she graduated college and got a job she got on meds and created a false backstory of abuse and neglect to justify being prescribed drugs and her personality totally changed to a mean, angry victim. We haven’t spoken in six years.
so sorry to hear that mama but I know this situation is painful and heavy on your heart, but sometimes, protecting your own peace is the most important thing. You’ve done what you can, and it's okay to take a step back when you need to. Trust that in time, things may change, and know that you’re doing what’s right for your well-being right now stay strong
So she stopped talking to you or you stopped talking to her?
Happened to my best friend. Her son went no-contact after she didn’t give him money. But she is besties with her daughter. Both raised in the same loving environment. The son is getting the exact treatment from his soon-to-be ex wife & he’s desperate to get back with her. He fails to see the irony.
IDK why kids do that. Make up childhood abuse or exaggerate stories ... In my experience they usually snap back to reality (it may take some time & some counseling) but one thing I've learned is even if you do NOT agree with some of an adult child's false memories you have to validate their feelings, otherwise they will continue to be upset or Angry...
I can understand the (re)actions of this young woman
“If we lock ourselves in a prison of failure and self-pity, we are the only jailers…we have the only key to our freedom” - Og Mandino
The victim mentality is a prison. If you can’t respect other people’s boundaries, you don’t deserve to be in their life.
It is so tough raising teenagers. She will one day look back & regret the things she did & then she will reap what she sowed when she has teens. (Although I hope she doesn't have to endure that.) All we as parents can do is build a firm foundation, instill good values & pray for the best. I hope they were able to come out the other side as a stronger family unit.
I don't like Marissa. I find her selfish and mean. They certainly didn't need to take care of her.
A parent saying "you lie about everything" leaves a child feeling there is no way to regain trust. Especially if the initial lies were told to get attention or help.
Lies make trust dye.
Bingo. There is very little attempt at true empathy here, from the parents, siblings, or the host. Basically, it's just "fit into what we have decided the world should look like and make us feel good about our actions" or hit the road, kid.
Maybe an adult child has the responsibility to prove themselves in order to regain the trust of their parents
Marissa is BEYOND ungrateful. Shes does not deserve this healthy family.
The family is absolutely doing the right thing not letting Marissa move in with them there are times when you have to practice tough love and this is one reason them Marissa is a spoiled brat who made bad decisions and now doesn’t like dealing with the consequences. She was 18 years old she chose to leave the family couldn’t stop her from leaving but they have obligation to let her come in or support her. It’s ridiculous that she thinks the family have to justify going on vacations without her and justify that they are enjoying their lives. They worked hard to build a life they can be proud of they don’t owe her any explanation and they currently don’t need her permission or approval to spend their money on whatever they want to.
I disagree. If you accept someone as your child, you do not give up on them. It does not mean that you let them move in with you, definitely not, but there other ways to be supportive and keep in contact with them.
Look if ur treated like an outcast go find love somewhere else geez
I bet they called her the n-word
She lies and steals from them they habe every right to distance themselves with her she chose to be a escort lay in it@@sallybyrd3712
And she’s still accusing them.
It appears Marissa is having a hard time accepting responsibility for her own choices. Now she's playing the victim.
Marisa likely has the same impulsivity that landed her mother in prison. She probably needed to be in a school for troubled teens.
She needed a family that wouldn't abondon her.
I hear you. As a therapist who interned in one of those schools, they’re more damaging than helpful/honestly awful.
@@logikwinz759she pushed them out of her life. They had to protect themselves from what she was doing. She is of full mental capacity. She knew that dangerous people were who she was dealing with. She would not have protected the family from the evil she is involved with. How can anyone be expected to sacrifice their own family for one person who doesn't care. I had to turn my back on a nephew because of this very type of thing. Meth heads will kill you when high. My child won't be a victim of that. I realized when he was a teen he couldn't follow directions not to break the law! Like that was my baseline. Don't break the law. But he wouldn't listen and I had to protect my daughter. He had to go home to his parents. He hated that but I had spent $3k on lawyers to keep him from going to prison got him into rehab and he was doing great for 8 months. Then bio parents visit. He is failing drug tests in rehab after every visit fired from the job they let him work. They said clock starts over at day 1 cause you used. Guess what. Ran away with his mom and ended up breaking probation. Went to jail for 6 months. His baby he had while on the run with a girl spent that time without him. Got out and has gone back 4 times. Is in lock up right now. Guess what.... Always someone else's fault!!! Never he made bad decisions and shouldn't be on drugs. Never admits that drugs are bad. Scum bag wouldn't even visit his grandma before she died. But he did go steal a TV from her while she was in hospice!!! So yeah these people like Marissa don't care and no amount of family love or support would change it. Marissa had a family love her and try and she still did this. My nephew had a family love him and try. But you cannot change someone else. So you protect yourselves from them. Nephew robbed my niece and stole from her inlaws. He would rob anyone he had the chance to. So we don't let him around. Period. This family needs to know that Marissa is the same. Maybe Dr. Phil could help but not unless she wants to actually change and be accountable for her own damn actions and choices.
This situation begs the question, does “Nature” or “Nuture” influence a child? Which is greater? Her biological parents are both in prison. This family took her in and raised her. Yet in many ways she took the path of her biological parents. I hope the opportunity Dr. Phil offers will help her! She’s obviously cute, smart, and has so much potential!
There IS evidence that a significantly increased risk that adoptee would be convicted of crime if both parents are convicted of crimes.
Twin studies also show heritable risks from criminal behaviour too.
Nature is the strongest. But every individual will have its own genome which guide behavior therefor adopted siblings can get very different outcomes.
Yeah I was thinking about this too. I have an ex who I was with for 7 years. He and his identical twin brother were adopted by a very wealthy and influential family. They were good, stable, normal people, yet both brothers turned out to be compulsive liars as adults (as in, clinically diagnosable level of lying, not just some little white lies here and there, but BIG lies and CONSTANTLY about EVERYTHING).
It proved to me that nature/biology/genetics play a HUGE role in how people turn out. I think Marissa in this episode is another good example of that. If I had to make a guess, I'd bet some decent money that her parents have a major victim mentality and chip on their shoulders too.
Poor girl really needs some professional help. I feel bad for her family.
In her case it's Nature not Nurture
She has potential but so do so many who haven’t stolen lied, betrayed and prostituted themselves needlessly. Help them first rather than manipulative liars.
There is no helping some people. They want to live in constant victim hood. This girl is so lucky to have these people because she could have ended up in the foster care system and that would have been a million times worse
Your first sentence says it all. No matter what you do it will not matter. They do not care. I will never take in anyone in need ever again. Such a similar situation to mine. Cuts like a knife. Never again
I will say I have relatives who were far worse off than this girl, with a far worse mindset and with terrible interactions with family, and they managed to pull themselves out of the gutter. Hopefully she is able to get help and a new perspective on life. Maybe separating herself from her family is for her best...sometimes certain people are not healthy in one's life, regardless of who is at fault.
She’s so entitled. She should appreciate everything and everyone that has helped her 🙁
The race card and ungrateful.
If her biological family is so great why didn't they step up and adopt her.
Maybe her mom wouldn’t let them, my sister raised her grand daughters because their mom couldn’t handle it, my sister begged to adopt them but their mom wouldn’t consent to it
NO good deed goes unpunished
THANK YOU!!! EXHAUSTING!!!
The mom literally called her racial slurs 😭
Amen
If they view her as a “good deed” and not THEIR FREAKING CHILD then it is no wonder she felt like she didn’t belong. She is completely messed up, needs therapy and I’m sure was extremely difficult to parent, but to have all 4 of them sit there and not admit even 1 teeny tiny thing they could have done differently… she is better off getting better and finding a new family of friends. They will never let go of her past or their need to be perfect
@@DanielleSmith-uo3ur I can’t even imagine how you reached that conclusion.
It’s clear she has a serious personality disorder and they are worried about her because they truly LOVE her. This is not an abusive family at all.
Did you not hear Dr Phil say it’s above their pay grade to be able to help her? Did you not hear Dr Phil agree that they shouldn’t allow her into their homes now?
Why do you think that is?
It’s because no matter how imperfect they may be, they didn’t cause this, and they can’t fix this either because of that.
There is no evidence at all that every messed up person is because of bad parenting. Genetics, friends, life events, drugs etc are all culprits.
I’m guessing she got into the wrong type of friends, starting taking drugs, was encouraged by the friends to prostitute for money for the drugs, and slid down that slope.
Dear Dr. Phil. This show was extremely powerful. I’m glad you put yes young lady on the right path. She deserves this.
I have an ex who I was with for 7 years. He and his identical twin brother were adopted by a very wealthy and influential family. They are good, stable, normal parents, yet both brothers turned out to be compulsive liars as adults (as in, clinically diagnosable level of lying, not just some little white lies here and there, but BIG lies and CONSTANTLY about EVERYTHING).
It proved to me that nature/biology/genetics play a HUGE role in how people turn out. I think Marissa in this episode is another good example of that. If I had to make a guess, I'd bet some decent money that her parents have a major victim mentality and display self destructive behavior too.
Poor girl really needs some professional help. I feel bad for her family. I definitely believe their side of things more than her sob stories.
The pull of nature is stronger than the pull of nurture. This was shown by a decades long study of twins.
@@cecillec2331 Interesting! Although I saw evidence of that myself, I didn't actually go look into any studies (which is surprising because I'm a very curious person and normally I'll intensely investigate things). I will have to go find that study and check it out. Thanks! 👍🏼😁
My youngest sister is adopted...as am I ..but when she hit around 14 she did go through this faze of anger and resentment because she didn't get to grow up with her bio fam...We had great mom and a freat homelife..and she was spoiled more then anyone cause she was the youngest...But she took her anger out on our mom ...Her bio mom was a drug addict and alot of her family was as well ...just not a great environment to grow up in ...So yeah Our mom did protect her away from them ..But I just think she couldn't appreciate that at the time ..But the difference is ..by the time my lil sis was 18 and in college she grew out of it and realized how lucky and privileged she was ...Alot of black kids who are born in a crack house dont make it out of those circumstances without alot of scars...This woman is grown ..and its about time she grows out of this faze and stop projecting her feeling of rejection from her bio parents/fam..and her own self hatred and learn to be grateful for those who did stick around ..Her aunt/adopted mom probably made alot of mistakes and isnt perfect...But she is the one who stuck around when that Bio fam she's crying about was no where to be found.
Parents are to blame for spoiling there children or favouring one child or granchild.
Those people gave her a good life and it’s ashamed she is doing all this to the people that protected and raised her and also love her
How do you know it was a good life?
@@TheOnlyLadyBella I think her problem was not having her own mother and father. Kids need that
I don't know anything about her bio parents, but if they were alcoholic and drug users, would she need that kind of parents.
@@fernlow4235 she just needed parents. Unfortunately she didn’t good ones.
@@robbiecox5014 When you reach a certain age, you have to grow up. Don't be a victim forever!
Marissa level of entitlement is astonishing she stole from her family shows absolutely no remorse or appreciation whatsoever but some how she has the audacity to be mad at them and act like the sisters are betraying her because they are enjoying the fruits of their labors. They worked hard to build a life they can be proud of they get up and work an honest job and they do have to justify spending their money on a vacation or whatever else they want to spend their money on. They didn’t get involved with drugs they didn’t steal from her and they have no duty to help support her
Thank u Dr Phil foe always willing to help, even the worst! U are amazing!! Pray this family gets back into their normal ❤
Give Marissa a lie detector test and her mum too.
I agree.
No point, they are not useful tools.
Why doesn't she go ask her black family to sleep on their couch? No One wants to have liar, cheater, smoker, drinker, chaos in the house? No One. She did just like other daughters do and wanted to do what she wants when she wants without any effort on her part to do the right thing 😢I am a happy camper and I love to work and I am a total LONER - I don't ask anyone for anything and I'm never bored because there is too much to do, especially when there is a slacker, rebellious, thief, liar, etc... My bar is very high and I only allow pleasant company. I can feel good about myself because I did sacrifice a lot for everyone in my family and help more often than I should have while I did my BEST in everything I do. So no guilty conscience .. Very MANIPULATIVE .. It took me a long time to get to the place that I Now Say NO - No more deadbeats sleeping on my couch while I wait of them hand and foot - and they complain. They for the most part it takes strong discipline to keep these children straight and successful - MOST REBEL just like her and get pregnant by some thug - I'm not confident she will stick with the program and quit lying But I pray Lord please bless this family and especially Marissa 🙏
She's probably not in touch with her black family.
Maybe she's not lying
M by
As an adult you figure things yourself. The choices you make have consequences. I hope she gets the help she needs and stops playing a victim.
She wasn’t an adult at 15..? Kids don’t just turn out like this. They don’t. It’s 100% how they are raised. Maybe she is a victim. Looks a whole lot like emotional abuse, I went through the same thing, and I ran away as well. Would a real parent tell their real kids to leave if they don’t like something? They very much shouldn’t.
Wow! That victim mentality is deep rooted.
She is a victim of bad parents
I've been far off of the path I launched from myself, and starting over can be so overwhelming that we become stuck in a mode of reacting and surviving instead of living and being proactive. I'm so glad Dr Phil intervened and is helping this family. The love is clearly there, and I pray they patch up their wounds and heal stronger than they were before!
I've heard stories like this a lot. It is in the baby's DNA. She/he was brought to loving family, but when they were entering adolance, they started behaving like their biological parents.
I don’t think it is biological. When my nieces were taken by CPS because my sister and her now ex-husband were drug addicts and they were standing outside at night on the corner of the service rd with ice and snow on the ground with a sign asking for money, my 4 yr old niece was in shorts tennis shoes no socks and my 9 month old niece had on a summer onesie wrapped in a thin blanket. Both girls were close to having frostbite fingers and toes when cops saw them to the hospital and arrested my sister and x-BIL. They girls went into foster care. My sister and x-BIL were in and out of jail every time we turned around. Eventually they lost their parental rights and the girls were adopted together by a good family. They found us when my youngest niece was 22. They both grew up to be good women with a wonderful education. They are now both married and have kids, they are amazing parents. So I don’t think it has to do with dna.
I completly agree. I’ve seen it many times,, almost like it’s programmed in. Frightening. 😢
It's also called "The Primal Wound" - there's a book of this title.
People who are adopted have rejection in the deepest places of their subconscious.
This often results in them acting out at adolescence, and often they themselves don't even know or understand how it happens.
Its genetically coded.
that's the stupidest thing ever. Tell everyobdy you don't get what goes on in anybody else's head but yours louder please lmao
That precious child is crying out for help, she completely broke me. Dear God, please wrap her up in your all mighty arms and protect her and guide her as she navigates this journey.
Yes 🙏 Amen
Amen…. Just starting the vid in 1 min… I know where this is going… so many red flags. Let’s lift her up in light! Blessed be, to all of us. Especially her.
you mean this SPOILED CHILD who is NOT sorry for how her choices have wrecked havoc on her family!!! lets put her in YOUR house and see how you cope!
Precious child? She’s a grown adult
Wow, I saw a pathetic perpetual victim, an adult who blames everyone but herself. She could have gotten a job.
She’s mad at them because she wants them to rescue her from the consequences of her bad choices while still making those same bad choices. She also doesn’t want to be judged for them…. While still making them and experiencing their consequences.
The whole world can tell her she’s screwing up but she won’t listen. She’ll listen to those people who care nothing about her but who will agree with her. Them, she’ll listen to.
I just hate when someone play victim card, be thankful they give you home thats the first thing you should do, parents smack kid its normal, we all get smack even from our birth mother, thats not victim card girl
Being raped and not believed is being a victim more than once. Then she became a volunteer. They didn't protect her or help her when she needed them the most. That's not love, that's betrayal, neglect and abuse.
@@RacheleTrujillo-v5l you dont know if she being rape or not, you can see how dramatic she is
She says she's struggling yet she has her hair done nice, her nails done, nice clothes and jewelry. Escorts make good money. That girl is lying in my opinion.
It’s from the styling and make-up artists in the Dr.Phil studio
@@Diesjjjvery true....I doubt they'd let her go on stage looking like she crawled out of a rat hole.
Your Dads family you sought out, did they help you,did you sleep on their couch ? Your cousins and your adopted parents. Were amazing,you didn’t like it…..live with it, your choice.
Agreed
The more I watch, Dr. Phil, the more I believe he is an angel on earth. Praise to our Heavenly FATHER and bless HIM for sending Dr Phil and giving him the wisdom to help the broken.
Marissa does not want this family, she is such a manipulator! She is a narcissist!
She is not grateful that this family took her in!!
She had options but made poor choices.
She is an adult, she needs to figure it out!
This family has done enough for her!
I believe Marissa
If anybody is the manipulator & a narcissist is the mother , father and the two sisters well technically they are her cousins . Your blaming the victim typical .
@@stickingupformyrights Exactly
@stickingupformyrights And Phil usually get on both parties, but he only got on Marissa. I don't like this episode.
Can't hold back my tears ..while watching 😢
I see right thru this Marissa...youve made the wrong choices..clean it up yourself.
Marissa is just selfish. She should be grateful that is family take care of her and love her but she blames others for her choices. She should realize that her own mom cannot be there for her.
I'm waiting for Dr. Phil to ask Marissa, "how is your life choice working for you?" She admitted her poor choices led to her leaving & it was her decision. She wasn't willing to change to remain in a stable home. She looks too happy in the photos when she was younger to not have been loved. My mother didn't say she loved me very much, but it was understood. She is 86 and tells me all the time now.
Smiling faces in photos can be deceptive. Her self destruction is so sad but I suspect far more complex and will take time to get to the bottom of.
Unfortunately, perception is reality. Regardless of the truth, if someone truly believes something, that is the reality for that person. This girl definately has issues and needs help...if for nobody else but herself.
All of us have relatives we love, but we do not appreciate their lifestyle or behavior.
She doesn’t make much eye contact when she’s lying. She doesn’t look like she’s starving, she must be turning a lot of tricks.
Her problem is she never accepted who she is. That turns her to be the most ungrateful, selfish and rude person to the people who care and love her the most. So sad.
I'm sorry Marrisa for your situation. Your aunt is the sweetest to raise ever since your own mother couldn't. This family is amazing 👏 for everything they did and do for you. You did everything to yourself for a personal reason , that has nothing to do with this side of your family. If o were you , I will apologize to them and accept their love and help. They have no obligation to chase your father or his relatives. Again I wish one day you'll turn your life around. Dr Phis is phenomenal .
No good deed goes unpunished. I first heard this phrase from my father. I didn't understand it at first, but it is crystal clear now.
I would stay away from this one
THIS IS ONE OF HIS SHOWS I NEED TO HAVE AN AFTER THE HELP EPISODE. LIKE A BEFORE N AFTER. BLESS THEIR HEARTS. THEY ALL SEE LIKE JUST GOOD PEOPLE NOT PERFECT, JUST GOOD PEOPLE. GOD BLESS THEM WITH HEALING AND SUCCESS IN THEIR FAMILY.
She is just an ungrateful adopted daughter, she should be very very grateful for them but what did they get in return? NO GRATITUDE!
Standing up for your rights is awsome
I don't think her family is innocent, but i do think they truly love her. As for the rape thing, they did seem genuinely shocked. I wonder if she did go to them, but it wasn't as clearly said to them as she makes it sound. Bottom line, I don't doubt the family has donw stuff wrong, but like I said, they do love her.
They did the best they knew how
This young woman is a clear lier and has consistently dug her hole deeper. She is smart and using this victimhood argument to blame others for her selfishness.
@@joleenspelbrink3265 lol. Mom said she wouldn’t subject herself to being around her father’s family. If she wasn’t a racist……..
@@raymclean2372 not necessarily a race thing. As I understand it he was a criminal too and it makes sense to not want that influence in your life, especially when you have other children to protect as well.
@raymclean2372 that's crazy you go to race. Man was a criminal.
This was probably from about 10 years ago...what is the UPDATE? Please provide working link and as much info as possible. They should have put that in the description.
Something changed when this girl was little. She looks so happy in family photos. She looked included.something snapped. She seems so ungrateful now.
Mental issues surface and develope in teens and bloom in 20s.
Psychopaths are born
She talks about her black family she did meet. Where are they now?
That's what I was wondering 🤔
Did you seriously ask where's her black family when her sister had the nasty attitude regarding the black family? Did you ever think that maybe they didn't know where she was due to the sisters nasty attitude? If the sister didn't allow them to meet her how would they able to keep up with her? Don't blame the family? This is what really irritates me! Did you not hear the sister? The way she responded about the family do you think she would have kept in contact with the family? They probably are like most families, thinking that she will reach out to them.
Yes she's playing victim about everything.
I'm here bawling my eyes😢 out. The devil knows how to rob people of their destiny. Marissa, time for a change for the better. Your mom loves you
As Dr Phil says Marissa has got the I'm gonna get them before they get me syndrome, paranoia. She is hurting and has huge huge trust issues she can't take being let down one more time because she doesn't have enough faith in her own ability to handle being hurt again. Good news this can be fixed little steps and boundaries.
They turned their back on her a longtime ago
@@kennethwatts4390Then why did they reach out to Dr. Phil for help?
@@MaryAnnSchons They didn't reach out to Phil, the mother/aunt did
Thank you. Somebody who truly understands.
I'm a counsellor, and given her start in life, and her biracial status, I completely understand her outcomes.
Also this family appear more concerned about their name and reputation than about Marissa's emotional pain which is what has driven her choices. ❤
@@GypsyGirl317 Exactly
I pray they are all doing well
Dr Phil you handled this wonderfully in your deliverance of the truth she heard you ❤
Well done
Marissa has loads of potential to become an ambassador for healing.
Thanks Dr. Phil you are a hero
The victim, black and pity cards played all at the same time.
Zero accountability for her actions. Everybody else fault.
Family got sick of her shenanigan. Hard to show empathy for someone that repeats the same mistake over and over and over again.
As a parent, I would have not known what to do. They raised her as their very own. When teens act up , it isn't easy to know what to do. Very stressful situation.
She is in an adult. Let her keep on making her own bad choices. She has too much excuses.
Parenting from guilt or sympathy never works. And she’s a pathological liar. Ugh.
I would go back to no contact with this girl. Shes a theiving mess
That's a bit blunt. It's not all black and white, there's a grey area, as well
She needs to take some self responsibility if there’s anyone to blame it’s her biological parents not these kind people who took her in and loved her. It’s hard parenting your own children, they tried with her and she abused their trust. They can sort it out if they wipe the slate clean.
I would not let her in because everyone has to walk on eggshells around her. Marissa thinks she is the victim
Marissa chose to leave rhe family that loved her to rhe fullest that parrnts can and qhen she lived a miserable life she blwmes her family and becomeenvious of the hsppy goings on of them. Her lufe now is rhe result of her iindecision , hardheadedness and ungratefulness. May God pick her up and put her back whole zgain❤
They spoiled her, and turned her into a narcissist.
Yup
My thoughts exactly! The so-called over compensation was, in reality, spoiling her rotten.
This girl is mad at her bio parents for being giant screw ups incapable of parenting due to their actions. And is choosing to take it out on the people that love her and care for her cause they are the closest people to her. She has zero accountability for her actions and incapable of being able to accept love since she’s felt rejection since inception.
Thank you Dr Phil for telling her how aggressive she has been. No one can put up with the volume of abuse she dished out blaming others for her actions, behavior and poor judgment. She is capable of hurting others to get even
THIS episode right after 'Some People Don't Want Kids' episode. 😂
She's a mess and needs some deep psychoanalysis to try to get over or around the fact that SHE feels less-than because of her birth parents. Good luck, Marissa, you're young, hopefully you'll figure it out before you waste more of your life in hatred toward the ONLY people who helped you.
Man... This one had me balling.😢 So glad Dr. Phil is going to help her. I hope it all works out for this family, especially Marissa & her Aunt.