My Wife Won't Stop Cheating On Me.
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- Опубліковано 31 тра 2024
- Crusader Kings 3 / Crusader Kings III Is the latest entry into the crusader kings series and it has just celebrated it's 2 year anniversary. The Developers have given me the challenge of trying to speedrun to 100 development whilst not cheating and only using the approved developer perfectly balanced and not overpowered gameplay features! We will be following the life of elon husk who will be making money and becoming the richest most succesful man in the world we will fight wars or just become the most famous person on the planet but it won't be enough to stop my wife from cheating on me! So sit back and enjoy this divorce simulator which has been disguised under the name of a grand strategy game CK3! I loved playing CK2 and I am excited to be able to show off this next in CK3! But is this new game Crusader Kings 3 a perfectly balanced game with no exploits or is making money by divorcing overpowered! Well lets see what The Spiffing Brit has to show us today in Crusader Kings III
So sit back and watch as the spiffing brit tests to see if Crusader Kings III is a perfectly balanced game with no exploits or if the 100 development speedrun Challenge is broken!! How can you even Become Famous and prestigious in CK3 without doing any big cheats! What strange Strategy game exploit is this! Also featuring Unlimited gold thanks to a gold exploit / money exploit!
This video game exploit video will be jam packed with a best bits funny moments montage style of editing similar to that of Valefisk, Robbaz and RTgame. So sit back relax and grab a cup of tea to enjoy with the spiffing brit!
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Title: My Wife Won't Stop Cheating On Me!! - Crusader Kings 3 IS A PERFECTLY BALANCED GAME WITH NO EXPLOITS
CHAPTERS
00:00 - A 100 Development Speedrun???
00:41 - ELON HUSK
01:31 - Exploit 1: Custom Characters
04:15 - Taking Cordoba
06:43 - Wife Exploit
10:02 - Making Children
12:17 - Exploit 2: Making Many Crops
19:00 - REVENGE OF THE WIFE
22:35 - The Great Disrobing….
30:38 - Our Final Steps to Victory
32:31 - INVADE THE FRENCH
32:36 - Thank you and Goodbye!
#Funny #Exploit #CK3 - Ігри
Having an absolute godawful-looking character is actually one of the greatest exploits. You can tell if your child is yours by looking if your children are also amalgamations of horror. Spiff is truly a genius.
Brilliant.
E
MEDIEVAL PROBLEMS REQUIRE MEDIVAL SOLUTIONS also being an inbred habsburg
Big brain move. And also big cheekbones, big nose, big eyes, big jaw, and big distorted mouth.
Strange... My matriarchal rulers don't seem to have this issue... must be something I'm doing wrong.
Behind every successful man there is a ridiculously OP woman and a team of highly-specialized vassals
Of curse, women don't follow unsuccessful men
Yugo l'eliatrope would agree!
XD
And behind every ridiculously OP woman is their husband's wife's boyfriend.
Or a very strong gay man
-"Did you cheat on me?"
-"No!"
**Looks at normal looking son**
-"YES YOU DID!"
"If he isn't a cube, he ain't mine!"
Wife: I'm cheating on you.
Spiff: But can I exploit this to become god?
Wife: Yes.
Spiff: 👍
The only time cheating is okay
E
"I CHEATED FOR *YOU,* SPIFF!"
Being cheated on in return I become a god yeah I'll take that deal😂
Lol, imagine that award acceptance speech. I'd like to thank my wife for being my right hand. I'd like to thank my wife's boyfriend for developing the land. I'd like to thank my wife's other boyfriend for conquering Holland.
😂🤣😂🤣 So many of these comments are so good you’d swear Spiffing Brit is making them with puppet accounts!
@@Creshex8 leaves you with a little chuckle for sure
And I'd like to thank my other wife for letting me cry on her shoulder
Let's go, polyamory!
.....OHH "HO-LAND" I get it.....I get it ....................
Your wife's cheating is probably the only thing holding the kingdom together. Her skills so good she has a dozen vassals hooked for life, and all those children are family ties to them to make them unable to leave even when they get older and not so in-power anymore, if you catch my tokyo drift.
Well, on other hand, he could had made his wife in to lesbian, making her aim mostly on wahmen, so no bastards
To be fair his wife cheating produced better kids as his vassals had OP stats. So she was looking out for him by cheating on him. Ensuring Spiff's legacy will be stronger
@@Grasher134 ah, a GENETIC legacy...if only the Habsburgs would've thought the same!~
@@soldiersPL
@@Grasher134
That's... still not an excuse to cheat
There's something deeply hilarious about hand crafting your perfect waifu only for her to almost immediately start cheating on you.
i think the problem is that he made all his custom characters Beautiful. that make seduction schemes way more likely to succeed, so every time one of his councillors had a random seduction attempt happen his wives just swooned.
@@emma7933 This game really have a parameter like "bueaty", which depends on NPC looks like?
@@Makedar-nim nah it's a trait that gives them like instagram filter smooth skin, which is why i don't actually like using it on my characters. it also makes characters like your chatacter more.
My husband is always horrified when I use these exploits in game, and called me a “monster” for making people surrender to me by having so much dread and making my children pay me back as soon as they come of age. Joke’s on him, I single-handedly ended the possibility of British colonization by replacing it with Irish colonization instead.
Another Irish-enthusiast approves of your actions. Between the Norse and the English, you gotta do what you gotta do. o7
meh, this game is brain dead easy anyways, really cba to even ask what you did lol
savage cara, indeed!
@@Bleilock1 Why so salty?
Hmmm, I likely trade reservations for whisky and potatoes. That's the colonialism that I like
The problem, Spiff, is your wives were brilliant enough to realize they could have everything: a rich powerful husband, and a lover they could stand to look at. You won the 100 development challenge, but I think your wives were the real victors here.
👻💬
@@bensoncheung2801 explain yourself
It's not cheating if it doesn't go against the rules, therefore waifu never cheated.
And she never complained about Elon reading books nor tried to sabotage Elon in any way, besides she kept being supportive and making sure everyone stayed by his side even if that meant having affairs with them.
True! If anything she collected dozens of trustworthy vassals to his cause! Also just SO much semen. His advisors frankly didn't have the energy to scheme against him, as they were so absolutely exhausted by boinking his insanely talented wife all the time. What an incredible diplomat, and absolutely ravenous sexual conqueror.
E
Well, she did sabotage her sculpture.
@@brendonhavener It probably just wasn't turning out good enough.
@@googiegress7459 she was infinitely more talented than him in every measurable way lol if she didn't want it, he probably should have accepted that was the right course of action 😂
"Ironman mode prevents cheating"
King's wife: "Yeah, about that..."
shes so op the rules the devs made do not bind her.
As a Dutch person myself, i can say it is indeed true, unless you made your own windmill by the age of 18 you are not considered Dutch. It is a rite of passage everyone has to compete in.
I'm half dutch, can I build half a windmill?
@@soogymoogi No, but you can build a bicycle.
@@SephirothRyu I think that's a reasonable trade off for being halfsie.
@@SephirothRyu nah just a unicycle
you only needed to make one ?
"I just can't die!"
fully expected the next frame to show him dead
Spiff: *builds more than 1 farms and fields*
Me: "WHAT THE FUCK"
something about this being a Spiff game makes me think that the "friendship-building dinner with the wife" event was a failed poisoning attempt. Who was attempting to poison who, we may never know.
@Urazz It's a Londo Mollari type of poison, that's why. Harmless on its own, but when the second part of the poison is administered, they both get together and kill the poor target dead.
Might have just been insurance, should *the worst* happen.
Or in the case of mutual poisoning, a bit of mutually assured destruction.
"My waifu is pregnant" is not something I ever thought I would hear Spiff say.
Waiting for Spiff to name a child “Justa” so it could be Justa Husk
Must surely be a daughter.
As a Dutchman I’m very glad spiff has finally acknowledged our superiority.
And we have a Queen we can salute, preferrably Bea
Having worked for a partner of a Dutch company, in a liaison department, and then working for a different Dutch company, I can say, well, admit rather, that I can't really argue this point. Though I will say, your language sounds like English kindergarten teachers talking to their students.
@@simonnading well our language is actually extremely rough, more so than German even but majority of Dutch people are pretty much fluent in English, with like 95 percent or so knowing it since it’s taught in schools.
Since beeing durch is your fursona (since durch doesnt exsist in real live) what is your actual Country?
@@THEJPIndustry well no Durch is not a country nor a word. However the Netherlands is the country I’m from and Dutch is the language I speak as well as my nationality.
I was laughing until your lunatic character made clothes illegal. Then I almost choked on my damn salad laughing. This was an amazing run. Thanks for this.
I love how his character's mouth never closes, just hangs open like the venus fly trap his sibling parents tried to replicate
Dear god, when Spiff revealed that his country was Dutch despite being in Spain, I had a sudden flashback to the streamed multiplayer session where ISP successfully created the Belgian culture.
What the fuck XD
They made my home region belgian. I was in shock, terror, and sadness.
Sauce?
So fun fact holland actually was owned by spain at one point
@@bensoncheung2801 Okay, my previous response got deleted. So, no-titles version: look for the Crusader Kings 3 stream on Spiff's or the Yogs Live channel from february this year.
Even after a absolute terrible day towing BS calls all day, I get home and low and behold, my favorite tea supremacist dropped a video and instantly made my day better. Thanks Spiff!
Have a nice day friend
@@thespiffingbrit your editors need to go over the video again...
@@thespiffingbrit 24:37
@@trenthydra7189 Shut up
Half the fun is creating an absolute mutant of a character and watching the hell-spawn he generates with unlucky concubines.
“We could all be a Mastermind Philosopher who’s intelligent and a lunatic.”
Based on that combo of personality traits alone, I’ll follow him anywhere.
24:37 seems like editors got tired of censoring the screen :D
29:24 too
nice
That wasn't even the first time... just 2-3 seconds after Spiff said that they'd have to censor... 22:57 to 23:00 somewhere... not that there's anything really to censor if you'd ask me.
Isn't there a setting to hide nudity on the game? Why was this even needed?
@@o76923 That's true, you can disable it.
Police man: Mr. Spiff, we have several complaints about you doing war crimes. Let me count them down for you *DROPS BOOK WITH 1000 PAGES ON THE TABLE" this is the first book.
Spiff: ohh how nice of you to gather all my achievements in one place! By the way, do you have any tea here?
By collecting all crimes in one place it makes it all the easier to destroy proof of all your crimes *lights a match*
E
Spiff: dunks book in giant teapot
Even better :
*Drops book with 1000 pages on the table*
"This is the first index book for the first archive vault. We're gonna be there long."
I love that youtube cut it off at the "1000 PAGES" so I thought "really, only 1000?" before being pleasantly surprised and affirmed by the rest of the comment.
I think that was one of the greatest videos you've ever done.
I could hear how much fun you were having with the wifes and kids and the commentary was glorious.
Its also very fascinating to see someone being really good at a video game this intricate.
Great work, as always.
3:37 wow, what an accurate recreation of a modern real person of similar name that certainly has no relation to the in game character!
Spiff has exploited this game more than the British Empire exploited their colonies.
That’s saying something
The sun never sets on the British empire because god doesn't trust them in the dark
Spiff has exploited every game 1000000 more times than the British Empire
Someone's gotta make up for the deficit...
Making a character based off of Elon Musk and making him a loser who parasites off of other people? *Chef's kiss* That's that accuracy I'm here for.
I literally chef's kissed when he called his character a bottom feeder. Perfect representation, 11/10.
Also the fact that Elon Husk is being cucked by every person in the kingdom.
@@andromidius Absolutely!
I'm surprised elon hasn't sued yet over the perfectly accurate representation
@@msolomonii9825 He's too busy trying to weasel out of buying Twitter after signing the deal.
I actually learned a lot from this. I never knew that the dutch build windmills. I always thought that those just grow on their own on their fertile lands and only we have to build them to mimic they dutch.
I’m sorry for your loss mate, the queen has passed..
Honestly I'm kinda suprised that the 100 stat characters didn't speed it up even more, I've seen some less exploity videos that have had it done in admittedly a lot longer but in worse areas but took I think abt 3x as long, was expecting the 100 stat characters to reduce it by more than that.
E
The 100 stat steward is the most important part of this video, without him it wouldn't have been possible
Befriending the steward and going for centralization perk could have helped a lot.
Diverging and and grabbing gardener would have helped as well.
Also not sure what culture his steward was but the game checks maximum development penality innovation of a steward and not the ruler
Let that be a lesson: don't forget the honest trait when making an OP waifu
And chaste
@@dane1382 Chaste gives a fertility penalty so maybe not
@@ChartreuseDan I guess the game has to give a negative to balance out the positive, but isn't being chaste in real life only supposed to apply to outside marriage?
Ooh, also you could replace all the Dutch rulers at game start with custom non-dutch rulers so you're cultural head earlier on
The queen died and you were the first person I thought of
Have you considered giving your culture gardening?
The gardener courtier gives a really nice bonus to development in the capital, but not %, but a flat points bonus, which all the % modifiers you stacked can then boost to high heavens.
Can we just agree that this video was just a little bit about exploits, but absolutely about the story telling?
I'm in tears 😂
Couple tips: if you’d made your wife Ace when creating her, then you could be confident that any of those “not my own” events would be false, because it’d be impossible for anyone to become your wife’s lover. If you had formed a hybrid culture, then you would’ve been able to become involved in the Iberian struggle, and potentially get the ability to further increase development with stuff like the “Sponsor Jewish Sciences” decision, on top of being able to research more quickly by having more developed counties of your culture. Also, if your development is growing quickly enough, then the “increase maximum development penalty” techs will honestly be useless compared to one of the ones that outright increases development growth. Before you researched urbanization, Cordoba had a -18.4 penalty. After you researched urbanization, Cordoba’s penalty remained -18.4.
Hey Spiff, if you want vassals to not rebel the best personality trait is Just which adds +200 honor to AI personality which defines how they act. They also recently added the Loyal trait which makes vassals, more loyal.
Bravo 👏🏽 🌹🌹🌹 👏🏽I enjoyed ever minute of this! Thank you
also if you add sayid as a cheep trait. you can easily spot when your wife cheats as it always passes onto children -.-
hmm, seems like another bug of the game - if everyone believes it's your child, it should have sayyid, since it's just a trait of belief. now, if it were exposed that the child is a bastard, then have the trait removed.
"Dirk Floriszoon" would be a ye-olde dutch name. Before Napoleon Bonaparte conquered the Netherlands, we typically had surnames based on who our parents were, and then added "son" or "daughter" after that. So say, Floris had a son named Dirk, then Dirk would have the surname "Floriszoon" (Floris + zoon, which means "son"). Bonaparte actually changed that system, having people come up with proper last names to better register the population.
Jansen (basically Dutch for Johnson) is still one of the most common Dutch lastnames, though I don't doubt that such lastnames are far less ubiquitous as you pointed out. When Napoleon reorganized things most people just used the lastnames/nicknames they already had, I.e. de Jong, which means "the young" or "junior" or de vries which means "the frisian" not to mention the many names with the "van" or "Vander" suffix, meaning "of" or "of the" respectively. Though, as you pointed out people did stop changing said lastnames every generation. My intention is merely to clarify (in a probably completely unnecessary and definitely long-winded fashion) the original comment, which does itself make a very legitimate point.
Spiff's son is named Elon Elonszoon in the video lol
Ahhhh how I love and miss the CK videos so much fun watching these even coming back and watching them again.
I love your CK exploits
Hope to see more of them soon
Thanks for all the hard work that must of gone into making all your videos to you spiff and your development team
"barely an inconvenience"
Spiff watches Ryan George? I could see that.
When I first read this comment, I wasn't sure if his comment was an accident or not.
Then I heard him actually say it. He 100% watches Ryan George.
Classic Spiff action when I least expected it. Perfectly balanced, no exploits, just as the developers intended. Even inspired me to switch my lunch beverage from pop to tea.
Liked your comment because you referred to it as pop and not a "soda"
Kombucha is superior; it is aged tea, the kind that has life experience and knows what's up.
@@robertlewis6915 "Kombucha is superior" 🤓
@@Remixersoloman I get that occasionally.
@@robertlewis6915 just leave a tea on the side until it grows a skin.
I think this is my favorite video on your channel. I've come back to watch it quite a few times. Elon Husk, glorious ruler of the French, Dutch, and maybe everywhere?! 😂
YOOOO this is awesome. i reported that two building in same province exploit to spiff discord like when royal court came out. it make me really happy to see it in the video.
I'm sitting here at the office on my break watching this, having to stifle my fits of laughter.
Thank you as always Spiffing Brit for making me laugh!
“Who needs love when you have books?”
How dare you steal my motto
I simply love your Crusader Kings videos Spiff! They are simply amazing!
I already watched this video yet for some reason I feel like coming back and watching the whole thing again.
"The Dutch don't exist at all, I've never seen them"
*Zylus fades from existence*
Love it when UA-camrs reference other UA-camrs “Barely an inconvenience!”
Sorry for your loss my friend
This man impresses me more and more every video. Eventually, Spiff will be able to "Balance" life to the point of perfection.
I did this using Visby a couple of years back, that place is a complete fortress once you get its unique building, rushing centralization on stewardship before scholar seemed better, but I didn't have the 100 stat council.
11:48 "Kreggla" ?
That's a character in a beautiful fantasy story called:
*"The tale of Rand"* (I think? Swedish name: "Sagan om rand") by author: *Cecilia Wennerström*
I highly recommend reading it (or even better: audio book) if you like fantasy stories.
Aw, I can't find a translated version.
@@darkerarius Try checking with your local library, maybe they can do something to find a translated version?
Let me know how it goes :)
Good luck!
I've just bought CR3 and I didn't knew you could just create bunch of overpowered characters and had them as your court. Must try this now.
Loved it, hope to see more. Going to drink nothing but tea after I get up in the morning.
Yes!!! Love it when he plays CK3. His solution to any problems are always so wacky
Started playing this game because of you and the Armchair Admirals and it's now one of my absolute faves. Always appreciate a well executed exploit by the most spiffing of Brits. Well done!
The starting date is on my BIRTHDAY, OMG, you did this just for ME? *sobbing* THIS is the BEST GIFT EVER!!!!
Thank you for this video! 😀🌸
This would be a great video to play "Hi, Bob". Every time Spiff says "development" you drink...tea.
I really needed the laughs from this today, thank you Spiff.
Just so aggressively Dutch. And Waifu! Brilliant Waifu, getting together the manpower necessary to meet the needs of tax and bedroom in the same fell swoop!
When you said “more money equaling, of course,…” and didn’t follow it up with “more problems” I got the strange urge to fling my tea into the Boston Harbor
Rest in peace Queen Elizabeth II. God save the King. Hope spiff makes her a nice send off video.
How did adding other custom characters work? It doesn't let me keep achievements on when I do more than one character, and that's the only reason to stay below 400 points so I assume Spiff has found a way
Create character. Return to menu. Return to game. Make under 400 character
@@thespiffingbrit OH SWEET JESUS... i was about to say, that never worked for me, but going back to menu makes it work?
wait no, it doesnt work when i tried it, resets to default character upon returning to menu
@@thespiffingbrit 29:24 the editor didn't censor
@@prodrom age restricted speedrun
your CK3 content is some of the best on UA-cam. Keep it up man!
Majestic
Your editors had me absolutely rolling dude. 10/10.
As an Andalusian, I approve this speedrun. Now give us back Gibraltar you pirates!
All three of you are pirates, Dutch, English and Spanish. 😛
"Who needs love when you have books?"
How did he know my mantra on life?
Top notch as always. Cheers!
one of the best, spif! great vid!
Nice! Spiff is doing more CK3 content. The amount of crazy things that are possible are amazing
Nothing is impossible when Paradox moolah is involved
You forgot the religion of the canary Isles, it gives 15% dev in hills and they can build grand monuments that also give 30% dev from their culture. Norse get one ability that gives them 15% dev i forget what it's called. You should start Norse, invade canary hybridise, take Holy site in Spain, get the metropolitan benefit from iberian struggle for more dev and then you also get a small boost from rune stones I think but that might be something else.
Oh and the gardens ability, being able to appoint a gardener really increases dev, I think 40%
Then invade serdinia as the silver mine is in the hills and so is the rest of it so you get a big dev stack plus money and ideally connected for powerful but few knights and men at arms plays.
Later you can hybridised with Germans for light cav, Indians for elephants and Mongols for horse archers.
i'm imaging you saying all that with only one large breath at the beginning.
@@brocksamson3282 cool
@@sarchlalaith8836 Too winded to say anything else?
You can start with Haelstein because he’s strong and the closest to the canary islands
I love crusader videos !!! U are the best thx for your work
ty for the video love it!
I love this game because Spiff introduced me to it. After all this time I never realized I could make my own custom npcs in an ironman run. Mind blown, love you Spiff.
Takes months to edit and the editor puts the Union flag upsidedown in first few minutes lol. Perfectly balanced indeed! 🤗👍🤓
Flying a flag upside down is a form of distress signal - Spiff’s editors are making a cry for help 😯
@@SportyMabamba NOT the Union flag though! That doesn't sound balanced at all.
More likely the editor was drinking coffee!! 🫣🤣
Great video, keep making great stuff!
I love how you are just exploiting away while Waifu is having her own little schemey subplot
He's back to ck3!🙏 You introduced me to this game in the first place and now i have 500 hours...
Spiff, in Rome Total War Remastered, I found if you offer the AI (Gauls for example) an attack on a faction (lets say the britons) and then do it again several times(must be different factions you offer an attack on) and then ask compensation you will get possibly, several cities from them and money, yes that's right they will pay you to take their cities, similar to the other exploit with compensation.
I think he did that at some point
I always love your game selection spiff! I have like 300 hours on this game and never thought to try some of these xD
Let's raise a cup of tea and rejoice in her life, God save the queen.
I remember the first time he played this with the amazing divorce simulator and one very grumpy Duke Ernst
When spiff uploads it's time to brew tea.
No, no, no. When Spiff uploads you should have already brewed the tea. Best way is to have at least two teas brewing constantly on top of the 6 you are drinking.
Hey spiff luv the vids. Keep up the great content
Amazing video keep them coming 😁😁
Mastermind, genius, lunatic. Sounds like the Joker.
Sounds like Elon Musk
Just the thing I needed after playing the game nonstop the last 2 weeks
Elon Husk.... 🤣🤣😂😂😂🤣 Hilarious video as always! Elon looks too funny!
Hey spiff, have you seen the elder kings 2 mod for crusader kings 3? I'd love to see reanu keeves absolutely destroy elder scrolls themed crusader kings.
*PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT*
"Remember to be drinking your warm cups of tea ladies and gentlemen! 🍵🇬🇧"
I just did
Oh yeah, just made my tea, sat down to kill an hour and SHABLAM SURPRISE SPIFF
Awesome video Spiff
The very second I read "divorce simulator" on the thumbnail, I was like "That's gotta be a spiffing brit clip right?"