Since the Taliban took over Afghanistan again, I've been working with refugees from Kabul -- immersed myself. Gotta say ... the more I listen to you, Shelise and to the two Johns and Carah about "purity culture" and sexual abuse within religious cults in NAmerica, the more I draw parallels between Christian and Jewish fundamentalists and the Islamic fundamentalists that NAmericans demonize. Details of the ways each of the entrenched patriarchies repress and prey on women may change, but it's rampant - fundamental - to each. Sickening. Intolerable.
Very interesting! I am a life long atheist and I always have a hard time understanding people of different faiths criticizing each other, bacause to me it looks like they want / do the same things...
The fundamentalist attitude and spirit can be found in any religion. Buddhist monks have been known to gang rape female solo travelers. It's an attitude and belief of the heart that can be adopted by any faith or hierarchical structure. It does not represent Judeo-Christian culture in any way, shape, or form, but it can hijack the representation of it.
Hearing her say,"If you dont do it willingly with a smile on you face, thats disobeying," just unlocked some childhood memories. My mother used to tll me,"Do all things without murmuring or disputing."
Thank you Kathy for sharing your story. When I was 15 a friend of the family groomed me then had sex with me. I'm now (still can't believe it) 71 it took way too long for me to tell myself that it wasn't my fault. I had so much guilt that it was my fault. But thru therapy I came out on top of it! My hope is that the courts throw this church not only to the crub into the garbage!!! You are one BRAVE LADY Thank you
I always thought it was weird that in purity culture they want girls to wear dresses but in actuality, pants are harder to remove! Thanks for sharing your story!
In the Catholic church, this used to be referred to as "passing the trash," taking priests who had been accused of CSA and quietly sending them off to a new congregation. I glad to hear that Kathy is taking these people to court. She deserves compensation.
It’s so disgusting that these things still happen. It’s like they either think moving the person will just stop the behaviour or they just don’t care that they are exposing a different congregation to a predator. Out of sight out of mind, anything to protect the reputation of the religion.
@Alyse_bell I believe it's the latter because usually they move them to very remote areas or places in different countries that are underdeveloped and undereducated, especially in things of this nature. They literally are sending wolves in sheep's clothing into their most devoted flocks because they know no better, therefore they either won't be heard if they dare speak out or they just simply won't.
I’m a 68 year old man and the description of the carpeted time out closet, on top of how you were treated from day one, caused me to pull over because I got so nauseous. Then the anger.
*Kathy,* my jaw girlie.. on the FLOOR. First I want to say I am sorry you had to endure all of this. It breaks my heart that you were just a young girl trying to seek the validation and love you *DESERVE,* only to be treated so heinously. I can feel the power you have rising inside for this court date, you've got a lot to say to stop this cycle in its tracks. Good luck and know that we are ALL standing beside you!! Follow your intuition and give 'em hell Much love and support as always! 🖤 (CAN'T WAIT FOR PART 2!!!)
The unfortunate thing is, this happens in every denomination. Now in many states there is mandatory background checks and mandatory reporting. But people slip thru those stop gaps. Great interview.
In the LDS (Mormon) church, background checks to be a bishop are not required. They have also lobbied to make it so they don’t have to be mandated reported in some states. It’s really gross
If you ever get bored, read some articles about First Amendment issues and court rulings. It’s fascinating how difficult it is for the State to do anything about the business of churches. In some ways it’s good because you don’t want the government regulating your religious beliefs and practices, but in other ways it’s bad because of the huge, gaping holes like this-teachers, childcare workers, etc. are background checked, but religious leaders who hold the same or similar positions are not because the state shouldn’t restrict churches’ ability to appoint their own spiritual leaders. It’s really sticky business.
@@CultstoConsciousnessdon't listen to this naturalist talking about Christian naturalist demarcus certain cultures have the more higher things of sexual assault and rape and child molestation and why people like the naturalist don't have very very low low things that like that I don't know how true it is but when you start to listen to him you start to think you might have something there
The juxtaposition of receiving the coveted teddy bear, but then immediately thereafter, the inappropriate panties. Just astonishingly cruel. I am so sorry.
Oh my goodness!! Her story of the letter and talking about kissing a boy reminds me of when I was her age and I wrote a similar letter to my pastor’s son. My pastor called my mother and me into his office to discuss the letter. Not only did he humiliate me, but he also asked that I stop speaking to his son. A few years later I was SA’d by two other members of my youth group. My pastor brought up the letter and basically made it seem like because I wrote it then I must’ve been asking for that when it happened to me. This pastor did not support me. I later found out that someone from the church went to the jail and the juvenile detention center to pray for these young men that attacked me. I was given no support. My pastor had his own TV show on TBN as well as recorded different Christian country albums. To this day, his church still stands and now that same boy that I wrote the letter to is now the pastor there. The two that hurt me went to prison.
@@roxieolemeda3196 he doesn’t have a show anymore that I am aware of but his name is Del Way from Calvary Temple Church in Kerrville Texas. His son is Josh Way.
@@roxieolemeda3196 I have so much religious trauma from that church. Watching my mother struggle to make sure she paid her tithings while working 2 jobs as a single mother. And the purity culture making me seem like I was less of a human than the two young men who assaulted me. It despicable that we are still treating our survivors this way.
Religion by fear. Control by shame and fear. What's interesting to me is that it's society's common norms - but magnified. There are a lot of traumatized people out there (clearly) from this kind of thing and from similar things in secular environments. Thank you, C2C for helping to turn the tide.
I love your show ❤️ your empathy for your guest is not just from your shared experiences but also from your sensitivity to this subject. Im 72 and raised independent Baptist. Since society is more liberal now my upbringing was more in line w beliefs back then. I recognized from an early age the contradictions in the Bible . The hypocrisy came later. Aftwr studing i concured w Marx " Religion is an opiate for the masses" its all about control, fame and power. It has reached its pinnacle in this age w the posperity gospel and television evangelicals. SMH 😂😅😢 Hopefully this move away from religious beliefs will bring us closer together as we discover our shared values , dreams and ethics. That is the New World all religions talk about. The raising of human conciousness.
The roots of all the hypersexualisations is the problem to name sexual feelings a sin. It is part of our body and life. And in a system where men roule women, it is the best way to blame them in order to be a sinner. A short and compact analyse. I was raised as a catholic christ .
Kathy 😭😭😭💔💔💔 I am SO sorry for the people who BLAMED YOU!!! You were a CHILD! My freaking heart!!! And your heart, too! I wish I could give you the biggest hug!
Kathy held my attention this whole time. Can't wait for a part 2! I thank her for her willingness to come on and share her story with the world! She's so brave and courageous! The girls home got me! Of course she wanted to kiss a boy at 13! It's normal for that age! Being a teen girl is so hard, and this and other abuses are happening. I'm so sorry she went through all this, but I also love the way she's telling her story. I could listen to her all day! And finally, do we have a baby yet???
Oh my gosh-Wildomar. Not far from where I live. A co-worker got involved in that Wildomar church about 40 years ago. I became suspicious when she told me she could only listen to or read church-produced materials. I already thought, “cult!” This coworker left my company to become the church secretary in 1985 or 86, I think. I am so glad your guest will have her day in court and I wish her justice.
@@ColorsFlightgoogle csa in Baptist church - using the words, not acronym. You'll see a widespread investigation of abuse was going on and covered up. Almost every church has been exposed at this point. It is just well hidden because the leaders hide it .
That is what I was thinking as she recounted what went on at reform school - pure abuse. All boot camps need to be heavily monitored if not outright abolished. They're breeding grounds for abuse. I don't understand America's fascination with them and with violence in general. Can't fathom why people look with favour at bullies, how they look up to and admire billionaires who have amassed their riches off poor people's backs.
I am so sorry for everything you have been through. I have my MS degree in Forensic Psychology and I did my thesis on these facilities. So much damage has been done to these survivors.
I have to admit as a kid, adult, I was always envious of people in these groups, religions who seemed so sure of their path, had friends, social life, support, lived in the same community, most struggle to find where they belong as they grow up, fit in, and it hard with many choices, it seemed so easy not to have all these choices. I learned the hard way with choices, but that’s life! I know now not to have choices or confusion of who you at is not healthy. I knew many Mormon families, so nice, I babysat for a Mormon family, who I kept wondering why they kept having more babies?
What you went through in the "correctional" program reminds me of what I went through for resistance training in the military; the difference is you were just put through it and we were getting trained for dealing with possibly being a POW. It's disgusting that kids are put through that.
Witnessed this at an IFB. So many horror stories. We took in a young man who was being raised by the youth pastor. My heart breaks more every day he shares what was really going on.
This poor poor poor girl. For gawd sake people are insane. Adults even. Just sick and wrong. I hope this woman’s life has gone better since all of that.
I've listened to many stories here that I found disturbing, this was absolutely jaw dropping. However I am so proud of the woman you became. You are truly an inspiration. ❤❤❤
When I was a kid i was in an extremely strict evangelical Christian school where we would have “chapel day” on Wednesday where you were supposed to wear church clothes and there was a sermon. Once I wore some extremely bland, church grandma open toed shoes on chapel day, and because they were open toed and technically against dress code I was taken out of class for most of the day and brought to the office. My mom (who has high pressure job) had to leave work to bring me different shoes. I had to unlearn so much shame around my body and “purity” after leaving that school, and I was only there for two years. My parents aren’t even religious and I didn’t even get any brainwashing from them. They took us out as soon as we mentioned some of the stuff that was happening. There was so much constant brainwashing at that school that it still left me with a ton of baggage to work through. We were also some of the only black people and a lot of people there were very racist, but subtly and overtly
Your teddy bear story is probably the most heart-breaking story I’ve heard on this channel. I am so happy that you’re safe now. Thank you for raising awareness of abuses in the church ❤
I’m outraged on Kathy’s behalf!! What a wonderful, positive and strong woman. Maybe she got some strong genes from her dad’s side to somehow make it through years of madness, neglect and abuse. Mums should protect and support their kids... I’m so happy Kathy can be a different mum to her daughter. Respect to you, Kathy, and a lot of strength for the coming months (after the 30 years 🤪...), so excited for you to get the dirt out from under the carpet!! And I agree, when you speak you can heal, but also that’s the point when doors to more information and understanding open. All the best, loved this interview, waiting for part 2! 😊
The woman interrupting to invite you in and saying there had been several girls coming back for closure made me audibly gasp. I can't believe you survived and became a successful person wow kudos
Many years ago I went to my parish priest for counselling, I lived in a isolated mining town. My husband started physically & verbally abusing me. I had two black eyes at the time. The Catholic priest asked 'well what are you doing to make your hard working husband upset?' He went on to say the husband needs to be submitted to & I needed to forgive him. I've never felt more alone & frightened. Churches really need to enter this century. Needless to say years later I left the church
In the Catholic parish where I am a member, there are sheets in Spanish and English on the walls of the ladies room with phone numbers for getting help if some one is struggling with domestic abuse. So not all Catholic Churches/priests are alike.
This is really common in families and religious groups. The whistleblower is villainized so the status quo can be maintained and the herd can live in denial. I've known people disowned by their entire families for coming forward about abuse by a member - while the abuser was framed as the true victim. It's like a scapegoating scenario.
Thank You for your story, Kathy Durbin, yet another intelligent, articulate and powerful woman. I'm ex-cath, identifying with so much of what you said. I've dumped "religion" altogether, probably the biggest scandal of all, perpetrated by, wait for it--men. Left the cath church in 2010 when that unbelievable scandal became public, have never looked back. Today, I belong to the "Church of Holy Roman Kindness." Overall problem is religions have huge, powerful lobbies. They can afford them using donations from the gullible. They all hoard $. I'm convinced they have prevented the ERA from being ratified. I long ago gave up belief in the Adam/Eve story as well as the other lies designed to manipulate us into giving them $. What a flimsy story it is, when you dissect it and it's been handed down through the ages to subjugate/blame women. It's so liberating to be able to define myself.
Truly horrific. So sorry for what she went through. The more I watch this podcast, the more I understand why I get so much outrage and hate from Americans on my ministry channel. These stories coming out of America are so extreme!
One thing I learned after leaving religion was that if you restrict a persons ability to discuss positive and age appropriate sexual behaviours then how the hell are you going to expect them to understand when something sexually inappropriate happens to them
Amen. My husband and I are born again Christians and you better believe our kids will have comprehensive sex ed (I'm a sex therapist). It doesn't even make sense, God MADE you to be sexual and to have sexual desires.
I appreciate you sharing your story. Thank you! When you talk about the church using the bible against you, it made me think about my youth. I read the entire bible multiple times because my dad is a missionary baptist preacher. I had to make sure that I could defend myself. I would drive him crazy. He would say things like "honor thy father and mother" and I would finish the bible verse with "provoke not your children unto wrath lest they be discouraged". The trick to winning arguments with bible people is to know the bible yourself. I haven't been to church in 20 years unless it was when I visited my father to be nice to him. However, I can win pretty much any argument because the bible has contradictions and can be interpreted in different ways. Women aren't allowed to preach in missionary baptist world either. They could teach a sunday school class or a lady's group like you said. My mom broke the stay silent rule so many times because she didn't agree with something. My dad always backed her up. I see now how lucky I was. Also, I want to say my dad was not strict at all. Probably because my mom wouldn't have put up with it. He was pretty ok. He is annoying sometimes, but I guarantee if anyone had touched me inappropriately, then my dad would be in jail serving a life sentence for murder. I'm sorry for you. You deserved love and understanding and not this horrible BS. They should all be under the jail. You are strong and wonderful!
Shame on ALL the Adults in this situation!!! They are the ones who dropped the ball and blamed a child for that Man’s transgressions!!! Yet another example of Victim blaming!!!
I’m very proud of you and what you’ve accomplished. NONE of this is your fault. Everyone failed you. You have moved forward by owning your story! Thank you for sharing this amazing story. Thank you for showing what a strong woman looks like.
The Bible originates in a Bronze Age Caanaite culture. The people of this time understood the world radically different from now. Should anyone be using this text in any actual way?
I think if people would look at some of the metaphors or morals of the stories would be better than taking it literally and thinking that the same rules apply today (10 commandments are still good rules to live by but do we really need to follow every mandate in Leviticus?)
@@devadii24not all the mandates apply to every single person. Women had a set, men had a set, even tribes had different sets like Levites being the ones to primarily do the sacrifices to the Lord. There’s some major ones that the 10 commandments also covered with it.
wow. My heart goes out to all of the young people who have gone through this abuse and have to heal from it. What an enlightening interview. The cliffhanger got me, though! lol
My partner really appreciated that she said not all IFB churches are cults. We recently learned that the church his grandparents began is an IFB church and it's fully broken his shelf. Thank you for helping him cope with his discovery with that one statement. We've really been on a journey since C2C started 😅
Hey I am an avid watcher of your show. I’ve learned so much and done so much healing. This is my first comment. I just wanted to appreciate your work. I didn’t realize the private school I went to was independent Baptist and it made so much more sense. I was also being taken to the Mormon church on the weekends. Talk about setting me up for issues. One cult to another it’s so nice to hear how I’m not alone. Your show has taught me so much that I missed due to not being fully in the cults but being surrounded by them. I never fit in and I know so much now why. Growing up in California then being put in a private school in Georgia it was such a trip. I’m still unraveling everything. I never told the Bishop my sins because it felt too weird to have an old guy asking a 15 yr old about their sex life. Haha so many things make more sense thank you!
Wow, what a great way of describing it. Before marriage - Cover up, be modest, don’t tempt, don’t touch don’t look at men, modesty modesty modesty. After marriage - Sex sex sex NOW, more more more, do NOT EVER deny your husband’s “needs”.
I was IFB for years and I remember them preaching that if you don’t have money to pay your electric bill and you haven’t tithed, don’t come to the church asking for help, that’s just Gawd getting his money back.
1:02:50 A priest was doing that to me before. Buying things, giving me rides, sending people to my house to do repairs. But other people started asking me, Why is he doing all those things? It made me think. So I stopped allowing it. H3 cold-shouldered me, and convinced other church people to do the same. Once, I was supposed to be praying one morning, during Easter. The door was locked. It was NEVER locked during Easter. There was another lady came along and neither of us could get in to pray. So we prayed right there on the sidewalk. Her daughter had just died in a car crash, and she wanted to pray. We prayed the Lords Prayer. Then later, she told me she told all about it on Facebook. It was like G-d showing me HE was in charge, and I AM His child ❤
I'm so sorry all this happened to that woman. Religion is toxic to the emotional health and dignity of human beings. I am thankful I was raised an atheist. My parents weren't religious either, so I had a great, happy childhood.
My dad was forced to be a johava witness until they were excommunicated because my grandparents couldn't afford some of the things they wanted them to pay (that's basically long story short 😂) so when my mom (who was a Christian but very relaxed with it) was pregnant with me (I'm the oldest) he made it very clear religion would not be the center of our family. We were allowed to make our own choices with most things but especially religion. They would both answer our questions honestly. The good and the bad in their opinions. If they didn't have the answer they would basically refer us to someone who could. I remember one summer I went to church camp with my cousin. I came home and was like that was an experience 😂 but I'm thankful every day that my parents allowed us to make our own choices and supported us no matter what. (Also my parents were young they had me when they were 16 and 19 so I'm thankful everyday)
Thank you for sharing your story!! This channel has helped me so much in seeing my own fundamental Christian church trauma. I didn’t have such an extreme experience but the effects were still deeply imprinted on me. Shame, guilt, adults not believing me, etc. all created a void in me, this blankness that I couldn’t trust myself or the adults around me.
I'm so sorry for your experiences in that terrible place. I was reminded of Jessi Hildebrand and what her parents did, leaving her at Jodi to be abused. I wish all the adults responsible or who knew and could have stopped it, were in jail. What a depraved excuse for a hb that man was.. I'm so sorry you had to go through that, after the trauma of the girls school! You're so brave. Good luck with the trial!!Love and strength to you❤
Omg Kathy, how did you survive this?!!! I also have had experiences like that of some kind but by far not that exreme. I was just crying listening to you. Thank you for speaking up and giving not only all the ifb women a voice! You also helped me acknowledging my past experiences and stop gaslighting myself. Thank you!
It's such a wonderful thing thst you can use this platform and have voice. It's so helpful to see how many people who do believe you. The toxic cult aspects open the doors wide for predators. And I can't say how heartbreaking it is that this has happened to you andcso many children. 💔
40:18 😂😂😂 I haven’t heard the word or thought about culottes in AGES! They’re like secret pants 😆 40:58 as a Gen X’r I guess it depended on what car you had. My daddy drove Cadillacs (75, 82, 84 & 88) and all our cars had power locks and windows. I think she meant like automatic locks that would lock on their own if you were driving or going over a certain speed.
Oh man, this one was a tough listen (to no fault of either of you). Just so horrifying that people go through these things. Thank you for sharing your story - awareness is the first step to change. Btw, Shelise I hope you’re doing well (and that baby Rhea is okay in there 👀) 🩷
Have you talked to people from the Opus Dei? That would be really interesting, especially since so many Catholics tend to state very proudly that there are no culty aspects to Catholicism (it's often described by them as something that only happens in "other" branches of Christianity.)
A-freakin-ha!! I've needed justification to feel how I feel. With adult eyes, I can confirm childhood things are as bad as it felt. Thank you for that sprinkle of wisdom.
Thankyou, thankyou for your bravery to speak out. I am so very sorry that society ignored your plight for so long. These are the very type of groups infiltrating every level of government. The ones attacking school boards and getting books banned, the ones forcing women to carry unviable pregnancies until they die, the ones victim blaming, and criminalising miscarriages. This abuse is the very treatment from which scenes in the Handmaid's Tale have been taken. It is so brave to tell her truth and so important to listen. This could be ALL of the US if the modern Republican Party is not stopped in its tracks.
I really think this is such an important podcast. Thank you all for always coming on and sharing like this 💜 ✨️You're all so strong✨️ some moments seem so raw... and make me pretty emotional.
I was brought to a baptist youth group by a friend that focused on doing high intensity very fun friday nights. they roped me in with those then I ended up doing bible study and next thing you know I was getting baptized on Easter Sunday and bearing my “testimony” to the church (at like 14) it didn’t last long but it was so welcoming and intentional in its converting me and keeping me in once I arrived
Have you considered maybe doing an episode on The Way International? I escaped this cult when I was in my early twenties with my daughter. Hearing survivors’ stories has made me open my eyes and realize that this is EVERYWHERE.
Shelise, as always, thank you for being a great host and interviewer. You are the best. Stay on maternity leave as long as you need to! I hope new mommyhood is going well for you!
24:15 As someone who was in a culty FIB church this really rings true But in the one I went to it was just more extreme and i would leave some of these services upset.Because I started seeing that things they said weren't aligning with actual scripture 33:38 I remember being taught that I shouldn't have any secular friends or non christian friends. It never made sense to me especially since I've met total the most genuine authentic and caring people who weren't even in the same religious circle as me. When you get older, you start questioning everything about your religious outbringing when you see in real life the opposite is true a lot the time
Just at the 54:10 mark and hearing so many similarities to this Netflix docu series that I am watching. The Program. Am almost through and its about this teen deprogramming facility. Same tactics, awful circumstances, just heartbreaking. It also felt very culty. Watching it I could imagine you guys interviewing some of the people involved in the future. With the little one, I imagine that it will take quite some time. But it seems that with this one, it will be a similar experience to listen to.
Not only did Kathy have to deal with everything around the church, but had to be in a school that, by the sounds of it, was very much a part of the troubled teen industry. I had just seen and read information about Elan School, and almost everything Kathy mentioned about her experience at the girls' school was identical to multiple experiences documented at Elan and other similar schools.
This is wild. I attend a Reformed Baptist church and the pastor has NEVER preached on modesty, or sex, or hassled us to tithe (it's privately done and the only requirement is that you give what you can give cheerfully a la the Bible). The emphasis is on loving Christ, whereafter you will obey out of love and gratitude, and that that bit is up to us. He is big on asking questions, heavy on independent scripture reading, happy to say "I'm not sure" when asked questions. I find this all fascinating. I would probably describe our church as fundamental, but we are extremely free to act, dress, whatever as we see fit, provided we can back it up with scripture and joining the church can only be done as a adult and must be a free choice!
Hi Shelise, sorry I’ve been away for a little bit, just some health issues. I’ve got bone diseases that cause chronic pain and I get flare ups but all good. Nothing as bad as what yourself or Kathy have been through. Kathy, thank you so so much for sharing Part 1 of your story. OMG! That “reform” school was evil and ran by biblical power trippers that their sole purpose was to abuse young teenage girls. Shame on your mother, it will be interesting to know if you have any sort of relationship with her now. It seems many churches are guilty of hiding child rapists and abusers. We call them rock spiders in Australia, it has a meaning that isn’t pleasant but captures what these disgusting mongrels do. You are an amazing storyteller Kathy. You’re very articulate and you capture moments like we were there with you. The thoughts and feelings you’ve endured come across so well through your speech. I look forward to part 2. I am dreadfully sorry for all that you have suffered at the hands of this so called church and the sickos that enabled it. Thank you to you both, Shelise and Kathy for this important and enthralling episode. That hour flew by. You are both treasures ❤❤
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Since the Taliban took over Afghanistan again, I've been working with refugees from Kabul -- immersed myself. Gotta say ... the more I listen to you, Shelise and to the two Johns and Carah about "purity culture" and sexual abuse within religious cults in NAmerica, the more I draw parallels between Christian and Jewish fundamentalists and the Islamic fundamentalists that NAmericans demonize. Details of the ways each of the entrenched patriarchies repress and prey on women may change, but it's rampant - fundamental - to each. Sickening. Intolerable.
Same b*llsh*t, different name🤷♀
Very interesting! I am a life long atheist and I always have a hard time understanding people of different faiths criticizing each other, bacause to me it looks like they want / do the same things...
Yes
Extreme ideology and ‘morality police’ ‘purity culture’…. it’s in all fundamentalist religions…. anything too extreme is harmful ❤
The fundamentalist attitude and spirit can be found in any religion. Buddhist monks have been known to gang rape female solo travelers. It's an attitude and belief of the heart that can be adopted by any faith or hierarchical structure. It does not represent Judeo-Christian culture in any way, shape, or form, but it can hijack the representation of it.
Hearing her say,"If you dont do it willingly with a smile on you face, thats disobeying," just unlocked some childhood memories. My mother used to tll me,"Do all things without murmuring or disputing."
Yep! Disgusting
That is human trafficking. He should be in prison for 50 years.
Prison for life
Thank you Kathy for sharing your story.
When I was 15 a friend of the family groomed me then had sex with me. I'm now (still can't believe it) 71 it took way too long for me to tell myself that it wasn't my fault. I had so much guilt that it was my fault. But thru therapy I came out on top of it! My hope is that the courts throw this church not only to the crub into the garbage!!! You are one BRAVE LADY Thank you
❤️❤️❤️
Hoping your healing❤️🩹
I’m so glad you understand now that it’s NOT your fault!✝️❤️
I always thought it was weird that in purity culture they want girls to wear dresses but in actuality, pants are harder to remove! Thanks for sharing your story!
Such a great point
RIght!
But pants are too masculine!!
confusius say woman with dress up can run faster than man with pants down
@@susanbarackman-artist7670😂😂😂
In the Catholic church, this used to be referred to as "passing the trash," taking priests who had been accused of CSA and quietly sending them off to a new congregation.
I glad to hear that Kathy is taking these people to court. She deserves compensation.
It’s so disgusting that these things still happen. It’s like they either think moving the person will just stop the behaviour or they just don’t care that they are exposing a different congregation to a predator. Out of sight out of mind, anything to protect the reputation of the religion.
@Alyse_bell I believe it's the latter because usually they move them to very remote areas or places in different countries that are underdeveloped and undereducated, especially in things of this nature. They literally are sending wolves in sheep's clothing into their most devoted flocks because they know no better, therefore they either won't be heard if they dare speak out or they just simply won't.
I’m a 68 year old man and the description of the carpeted time out closet, on top of how you were treated from day one, caused me to pull over because I got so nauseous. Then the anger.
Thanks for listening 🙏🏼
Kathy is incredibly resilient. To think there's more has me flabbergasted. Truly another incredible woman. Thank you for sharing with us. ❤
*Kathy,* my jaw girlie.. on the FLOOR.
First I want to say I am sorry you had to endure all of this. It breaks my heart that you were just a young girl trying to seek the validation and love you *DESERVE,* only to be treated so heinously. I can feel the power you have rising inside for this court date, you've got a lot to say to stop this cycle in its tracks. Good luck and know that we are ALL standing beside you!! Follow your intuition and give 'em hell
Much love and support as always! 🖤
(CAN'T WAIT FOR PART 2!!!)
If her parents are alive they need to be held to account. As does everyone at that church.
The unfortunate thing is, this happens in every denomination. Now in many states there is mandatory background checks and mandatory reporting. But people slip thru those stop gaps. Great interview.
The worst is that background checks means that someone has to have documented and reported. We know too often that churchs cover up reportsm
In the LDS (Mormon) church, background checks to be a bishop are not required. They have also lobbied to make it so they don’t have to be mandated reported in some states. It’s really gross
@@CultstoConsciousnesshow are you feeling?
If you ever get bored, read some articles about First Amendment issues and court rulings. It’s fascinating how difficult it is for the State to do anything about the business of churches. In some ways it’s good because you don’t want the government regulating your religious beliefs and practices, but in other ways it’s bad because of the huge, gaping holes like this-teachers, childcare workers, etc. are background checked, but religious leaders who hold the same or similar positions are not because the state shouldn’t restrict churches’ ability to appoint their own spiritual leaders. It’s really sticky business.
@@CultstoConsciousnessdon't listen to this naturalist talking about Christian naturalist demarcus certain cultures have the more higher things of sexual assault and rape and child molestation and why people like the naturalist don't have very very low low things that like that I don't know how true it is but when you start to listen to him you start to think you might have something there
The juxtaposition of receiving the coveted teddy bear, but then immediately thereafter, the inappropriate panties. Just astonishingly cruel. I am so sorry.
Break the silence. Break the cycle.
💯💯💯
Oh my goodness!! Her story of the letter and talking about kissing a boy reminds me of when I was her age and I wrote a similar letter to my pastor’s son. My pastor called my mother and me into his office to discuss the letter. Not only did he humiliate me, but he also asked that I stop speaking to his son. A few years later I was SA’d by two other members of my youth group. My pastor brought up the letter and basically made it seem like because I wrote it then I must’ve been asking for that when it happened to me. This pastor did not support me. I later found out that someone from the church went to the jail and the juvenile detention center to pray for these young men that attacked me. I was given no support. My pastor had his own TV show on TBN as well as recorded different Christian country albums. To this day, his church still stands and now that same boy that I wrote the letter to is now the pastor there. The two that hurt me went to prison.
Absolutely awful! I’m glad they went to prison
they are so sex-addicts that they are scared of women and even of little girls.... so totally maddening and crazy
I'm curious about the Pastor who still has a series on TBN who is it
@@roxieolemeda3196 he doesn’t have a show anymore that I am aware of but his name is Del Way from Calvary Temple Church in Kerrville Texas. His son is Josh Way.
@@roxieolemeda3196 I have so much religious trauma from that church. Watching my mother struggle to make sure she paid her tithings while working 2 jobs as a single mother. And the purity culture making me seem like I was less of a human than the two young men who assaulted me. It despicable that we are still treating our survivors this way.
Religion by fear. Control by shame and fear. What's interesting to me is that it's society's common norms - but magnified. There are a lot of traumatized people out there (clearly) from this kind of thing and from similar things in secular environments. Thank you, C2C for helping to turn the tide.
I wish I was surprised she was blamed but I’m not. This is a strong woman who deserves justice for what she was put through as a child.
Thank you for making the picture of sexual violence visible, not only in high demand religions🙏🤝
I love your show ❤️ your empathy for your guest is not just from your shared experiences but also from your sensitivity to this subject. Im 72 and raised independent Baptist. Since society is more liberal now my upbringing was more in line w beliefs back then. I recognized from an early age the contradictions in the Bible . The hypocrisy came later. Aftwr studing i concured w Marx " Religion is an opiate for the masses" its all about control, fame and power. It has reached its pinnacle in this age w the posperity gospel and television evangelicals. SMH 😂😅😢 Hopefully this move away from religious beliefs will bring us closer together as we discover our shared values , dreams and ethics. That is the New World all religions talk about. The raising of human conciousness.
Read the Bible again the only time Jesus committed violence and used horrid language was directed towards the organized religion of that day.
The roots of all the hypersexualisations is the problem to name sexual feelings a sin. It is part of our body and life. And in a system where men roule women, it is the best way to blame them in order to be a sinner.
A short and compact analyse. I was raised as a catholic christ .
Kathy, thank you for speaking up! ❤ You are an incredible human and I'm so sorry for what was done to you 😢
Shelise! THANK YOU!!!
Kathy 😭😭😭💔💔💔 I am SO sorry for the people who BLAMED YOU!!! You were a CHILD!
My freaking heart!!! And your heart, too!
I wish I could give you the biggest hug!
It is so important for all the girls growing and navigating life to speak about this. Thank you for your bravery.
Kathy held my attention this whole time. Can't wait for a part 2! I thank her for her willingness to come on and share her story with the world! She's so brave and courageous! The girls home got me! Of course she wanted to kiss a boy at 13! It's normal for that age! Being a teen girl is so hard, and this and other abuses are happening. I'm so sorry she went through all this, but I also love the way she's telling her story. I could listen to her all day! And finally, do we have a baby yet???
Isn’t she great?! No baby yet 🥴
@@CultstoConsciousnessWhen is your baby 🤱 due. I haven't watched you in awhile. I was so excited to hear that you are expecting 😊
Oh my gosh-Wildomar. Not far from where I live. A co-worker got involved in that Wildomar church about 40 years ago. I became suspicious when she told me she could only listen to or read church-produced materials. I already thought, “cult!” This coworker left my company to become the church secretary in 1985 or 86, I think. I am so glad your guest will have her day in court and I wish her justice.
I’ve been waiting to hear someone else, besides me and my sister, talk about this since I was 12 years old, thank you so much!
This is tied greatly to Shiny Happy People Cult. Bill Gothard and many involved were from IFB so we see all the same principles
Definitely. We have some IBLP videos coming
@@CultstoConsciousness can't wait!
Oh ok that makes more sense I was like I have never seen any of this in Baptist churches. But if it came from that it makes more sense
@@ColorsFlightgoogle csa in Baptist church - using the words, not acronym. You'll see a widespread investigation of abuse was going on and covered up. Almost every church has been exposed at this point. It is just well hidden because the leaders hide it .
You could see how a Jodi Hilderbrand or Ruby Frankie could come out of atmosphere of these extreme religious cults, whose abuse is normalized.
That is what I was thinking as she recounted what went on at reform school - pure abuse. All boot camps need to be heavily monitored if not outright abolished. They're breeding grounds for abuse. I don't understand America's fascination with them and with violence in general. Can't fathom why people look with favour at bullies, how they look up to and admire billionaires who have amassed their riches off poor people's backs.
I am so sorry for everything you have been through. I have my MS degree in Forensic Psychology and I did my thesis on these facilities. So much damage has been done to these survivors.
I agree it's terrible. The mental health effects are devastating
They’ve endured more than any young person should.
I have to admit as a kid, adult, I was always envious of people in these groups, religions who seemed so sure of their path, had friends, social life, support, lived in the same community, most struggle to find where they belong as they grow up, fit in, and it hard with many choices, it seemed so easy not to have all these choices. I learned the hard way with choices, but that’s life! I know now not to have choices or confusion of who you at is not healthy. I knew many Mormon families, so nice, I babysat for a Mormon family, who I kept wondering why they kept having more babies?
What you went through in the "correctional" program reminds me of what I went through for resistance training in the military; the difference is you were just put through it and we were getting trained for dealing with possibly being a POW. It's disgusting that kids are put through that.
I'm getting SO tired of the whole "what was she wearing?" bit. Women in the 1600s were completely covered AND layered! They still got raped.
Can’t wait till part 2!! So glad that strong women like y’all are bringing awareness to corruption as$ religious cults!
Witnessed this at an IFB. So many horror stories. We took in a young man who was being raised by the youth pastor. My heart breaks more every day he shares what was really going on.
This poor poor poor girl. For gawd sake people are insane. Adults even. Just sick and wrong. I hope this woman’s life has gone better since all of that.
I've listened to many stories here that I found disturbing, this was absolutely jaw dropping. However I am so proud of the woman you became. You are truly an inspiration. ❤❤❤
🖤🖤 Gotta feed the algorithm while we watch!
When I was a kid i was in an extremely strict evangelical Christian school where we would have “chapel day” on Wednesday where you were supposed to wear church clothes and there was a sermon. Once I wore some extremely bland, church grandma open toed shoes on chapel day, and because they were open toed and technically against dress code I was taken out of class for most of the day and brought to the office. My mom (who has high pressure job) had to leave work to bring me different shoes. I had to unlearn so much shame around my body and “purity” after leaving that school, and I was only there for two years. My parents aren’t even religious and I didn’t even get any brainwashing from them. They took us out as soon as we mentioned some of the stuff that was happening. There was so much constant brainwashing at that school that it still left me with a ton of baggage to work through. We were also some of the only black people and a lot of people there were very racist, but subtly and overtly
Amazing to hear Kathy's story , I am learning so much! Looking forward to the next video!
Love your interviews. You are doing great work. Keep being amazing. Your parents are definitely proud of you. Both of you are warrior Queens. ❤️❤️❤️
Your teddy bear story is probably the most heart-breaking story I’ve heard on this channel. I am so happy that you’re safe now. Thank you for raising awareness of abuses in the church ❤
52:11 "You must have felt like you were in a psych ward". Well it should be turned into one, with the "staff" as patients. This is not sane behavior.
I’m outraged on Kathy’s behalf!!
What a wonderful, positive and strong woman. Maybe she got some strong genes from her dad’s side to somehow make it through years of madness, neglect and abuse. Mums should protect and support their kids... I’m so happy Kathy can be a different mum to her daughter.
Respect to you, Kathy, and a lot of strength for the coming months (after the 30 years 🤪...), so excited for you to get the dirt out from under the carpet!! And I agree, when you speak you can heal, but also that’s the point when doors to more information and understanding open. All the best, loved this interview, waiting for part 2! 😊
The woman interrupting to invite you in and saying there had been several girls coming back for closure made me audibly gasp. I can't believe you survived and became a successful person wow kudos
Many years ago I went to my parish priest for counselling, I lived in a isolated mining town. My husband started physically & verbally abusing me. I had two black eyes at the time. The Catholic priest asked 'well what are you doing to make your hard working husband upset?' He went on to say the husband needs to be submitted to & I needed to forgive him. I've never felt more alone & frightened. Churches really need to enter this century. Needless to say years later I left the church
How awful and so backwards!!!
What a crappy priest!
I’m so sorry you had to go through this. Some culture encourage this. Women go through alot
In the Catholic parish where I am a member, there are sheets in Spanish and English on the walls of the ladies room with phone numbers for getting help if some one is struggling with domestic abuse. So not all Catholic Churches/priests are alike.
This was an excellent documentary, it spoke about so much of a farce within the IFB community, these women have gotten justice
This is really common in families and religious groups. The whistleblower is villainized so the status quo can be maintained and the herd can live in denial. I've known people disowned by their entire families for coming forward about abuse by a member - while the abuser was framed as the true victim. It's like a scapegoating scenario.
These groups enable, facilitate, and perpetuate abuse both with their policies and their teachings.
Thank You for your story, Kathy Durbin, yet another intelligent, articulate and powerful woman. I'm ex-cath, identifying with so much of what you said. I've dumped "religion" altogether, probably the biggest scandal of all, perpetrated by, wait for it--men. Left the cath church in 2010 when that unbelievable scandal became public, have never looked back. Today, I belong to the "Church of Holy Roman Kindness." Overall problem is religions have huge, powerful lobbies. They can afford them using donations from the gullible. They all hoard $. I'm convinced they have prevented the ERA from being ratified. I long ago gave up belief in the Adam/Eve story as well as the other lies designed to manipulate us into giving them $. What a flimsy story it is, when you dissect it and it's been handed down through the ages to subjugate/blame women. It's so liberating to be able to define myself.
Truly horrific. So sorry for what she went through. The more I watch this podcast, the more I understand why I get so much outrage and hate from Americans on my ministry channel. These stories coming out of America are so extreme!
One thing I learned after leaving religion was that if you restrict a persons ability to discuss positive and age appropriate sexual behaviours then how the hell are you going to expect them to understand when something sexually inappropriate happens to them
Amen. My husband and I are born again Christians and you better believe our kids will have comprehensive sex ed (I'm a sex therapist). It doesn't even make sense, God MADE you to be sexual and to have sexual desires.
I appreciate you sharing your story. Thank you!
When you talk about the church using the bible against you, it made me think about my youth. I read the entire bible multiple times because my dad is a missionary baptist preacher. I had to make sure that I could defend myself. I would drive him crazy. He would say things like "honor thy father and mother" and I would finish the bible verse with "provoke not your children unto wrath lest they be discouraged". The trick to winning arguments with bible people is to know the bible yourself. I haven't been to church in 20 years unless it was when I visited my father to be nice to him. However, I can win pretty much any argument because the bible has contradictions and can be interpreted in different ways.
Women aren't allowed to preach in missionary baptist world either. They could teach a sunday school class or a lady's group like you said. My mom broke the stay silent rule so many times because she didn't agree with something. My dad always backed her up. I see now how lucky I was.
Also, I want to say my dad was not strict at all. Probably because my mom wouldn't have put up with it. He was pretty ok. He is annoying sometimes, but I guarantee if anyone had touched me inappropriately, then my dad would be in jail serving a life sentence for murder.
I'm sorry for you. You deserved love and understanding and not this horrible BS. They should all be under the jail. You are strong and wonderful!
Kathy so sorry this all happened to you and bringing it all to light..looking forward to part 2
You were just a kid !! Nobody should ever have to endure anything like this !
Thank you Kathy. I look forward to the part where you get justice and also, suing the church!!! GREAT. GO GIRL!
Shame on ALL the Adults in this situation!!! They are the ones who dropped the ball and blamed a child for that Man’s transgressions!!!
Yet another example of Victim blaming!!!
I’m very proud of you and what you’ve accomplished. NONE of this is your fault. Everyone failed you. You have moved forward by owning your story! Thank you for sharing this amazing story. Thank you for showing what a strong woman looks like.
Thank you for sharing your story. I’m so grateful that you fought for justice and are continuing to do so. I can’t wait to hear part 2.
The Bible originates in a Bronze Age Caanaite culture. The people of this time understood the world radically different from now. Should anyone be using this text in any actual way?
I think if people would look at some of the metaphors or morals of the stories would be better than taking it literally and thinking that the same rules apply today (10 commandments are still good rules to live by but do we really need to follow every mandate in Leviticus?)
@@devadii24not all the mandates apply to every single person. Women had a set, men had a set, even tribes had different sets like Levites being the ones to primarily do the sacrifices to the Lord. There’s some major ones that the 10 commandments also covered with it.
@@ADR-xn6dg agreed 👍🏼
Short answer: no. But here we are 2000 years later…
I'm so looking forward to part two and getting to the consciousness side of it!! Wow! You are SO STRONG!!! ❤❤❤
wow. My heart goes out to all of the young people who have gone through this abuse and have to heal from it. What an enlightening interview. The cliffhanger got me, though! lol
Thankyou guys for brilliant chat.
Loved it.
Must stay close to Our Lord
🥀
Thanks!
My partner really appreciated that she said not all IFB churches are cults. We recently learned that the church his grandparents began is an IFB church and it's fully broken his shelf. Thank you for helping him cope with his discovery with that one statement. We've really been on a journey since C2C started 😅
😁🙏
Hey I am an avid watcher of your show. I’ve learned so much and done so much healing. This is my first comment. I just wanted to appreciate your work. I didn’t realize the private school I went to was independent Baptist and it made so much more sense. I was also being taken to the Mormon church on the weekends. Talk about setting me up for issues. One cult to another it’s so nice to hear how I’m not alone. Your show has taught me so much that I missed due to not being fully in the cults but being surrounded by them. I never fit in and I know so much now why. Growing up in California then being put in a private school in Georgia it was such a trip. I’m still unraveling everything. I never told the Bishop my sins because it felt too weird to have an old guy asking a 15 yr old about their sex life. Haha so many things make more sense thank you!
I’m so happy that’s it’s been helpful for you! Yes, you really got the full cult gambit there!
Wow, what a great way of describing it.
Before marriage -
Cover up, be modest, don’t tempt, don’t touch don’t look at men, modesty modesty modesty.
After marriage -
Sex sex sex NOW, more more more, do NOT EVER deny your husband’s “needs”.
I was IFB for years and I remember them preaching that if you don’t have money to pay your electric bill and you haven’t tithed, don’t come to the church asking for help, that’s just Gawd getting his money back.
😐
Frigging horrid.
Our church paid rent for a churchgoing through major medical issues until they resolved. That's what tithing is for in part!
I watched the documentary too. I was horrified by Kathy's experience. I'm glad she is finally able to get justice
This is so mind boggling.😥. Thank you both! ❤❤❤
1:02:50 A priest was doing that to me before. Buying things, giving me rides, sending people to my house to do repairs. But other people started asking me, Why is he doing all those things? It made me think. So I stopped allowing it. H3 cold-shouldered me, and convinced other church people to do the same. Once, I was supposed to be praying one morning, during Easter. The door was locked. It was NEVER locked during Easter. There was another lady came along and neither of us could get in to pray. So we prayed right there on the sidewalk. Her daughter had just died in a car crash, and she wanted to pray. We prayed the Lords Prayer. Then later, she told me she told all about it on Facebook. It was like G-d showing me HE was in charge, and I AM His child ❤
Very eye-opening video thank you For making people aware.
I'm so sorry all this happened to that woman. Religion is toxic to the emotional health and dignity of human beings. I am thankful I was raised an atheist. My parents weren't religious either, so I had a great, happy childhood.
This lady is very courageous ❤ it's a wonder anyone would cope afterwards mentally & physically.
My dad was forced to be a johava witness until they were excommunicated because my grandparents couldn't afford some of the things they wanted them to pay (that's basically long story short 😂) so when my mom (who was a Christian but very relaxed with it) was pregnant with me (I'm the oldest) he made it very clear religion would not be the center of our family. We were allowed to make our own choices with most things but especially religion. They would both answer our questions honestly. The good and the bad in their opinions. If they didn't have the answer they would basically refer us to someone who could. I remember one summer I went to church camp with my cousin. I came home and was like that was an experience 😂 but I'm thankful every day that my parents allowed us to make our own choices and supported us no matter what. (Also my parents were young they had me when they were 16 and 19 so I'm thankful everyday)
Grateful that my grandchildren are being raised godless.
Thank you for sharing your story!! This channel has helped me so much in seeing my own fundamental Christian church trauma. I didn’t have such an extreme experience but the effects were still deeply imprinted on me. Shame, guilt, adults not believing me, etc. all created a void in me, this blankness that I couldn’t trust myself or the adults around me.
❤️❤️❤️
I'm so sorry for your experiences in that terrible place. I was reminded of Jessi Hildebrand and what her parents did, leaving her at Jodi to be abused. I wish all the adults responsible or who knew and could have stopped it, were in jail. What a depraved excuse for a hb that man was.. I'm so sorry you had to go through that, after the trauma of the girls school! You're so brave. Good luck with the trial!!Love and strength to you❤
I’m so glad to hear you use your voice Kathy! Thank you for sharing
Omg Kathy, how did you survive this?!!! I also have had experiences like that of some kind but by far not that exreme. I was just crying listening to you. Thank you for speaking up and giving not only all the ifb women a voice! You also helped me acknowledging my past experiences and stop gaslighting myself. Thank you!
WOW I certainly have a new perspective on churches like yours. Thank you for sharing your story.
It's such a wonderful thing thst you can use this platform and have voice. It's so helpful to see how many people who do believe you. The toxic cult aspects open the doors wide for predators. And I can't say how heartbreaking it is that this has happened to you andcso many children. 💔
40:18 😂😂😂 I haven’t heard the word or thought about culottes in AGES! They’re like secret pants 😆
40:58 as a Gen X’r I guess it depended on what car you had. My daddy drove Cadillacs (75, 82, 84 & 88) and all our cars had power locks and windows. I think she meant like automatic locks that would lock on their own if you were driving or going over a certain speed.
Oh man, this one was a tough listen (to no fault of either of you). Just so horrifying that people go through these things. Thank you for sharing your story - awareness is the first step to change. Btw, Shelise I hope you’re doing well (and that baby Rhea is okay in there 👀) 🩷
Thank you! She’s still baking away 😊
@@CultstoConsciousness lots of love as you await her arrival!! I’m sure it’s hard to keep the patience 🤣
Have you talked to people from the Opus Dei? That would be really interesting, especially since so many Catholics tend to state very proudly that there are no culty aspects to Catholicism (it's often described by them as something that only happens in "other" branches of Christianity.)
Glad to hear Kathy got justice after 30 years!! May she prevail in her trial date!
I'm always shocked to find in this day and age that this nonsense still goes on! So happy you got out of that cult!
A-freakin-ha!! I've needed justification to feel how I feel. With adult eyes, I can confirm childhood things are as bad as it felt. Thank you for that sprinkle of wisdom.
My mother was the center of what I realize now was a family cult. She started slut shaming me at 12. I still sometimes feel it at 46.
Thankyou, thankyou for your bravery to speak out. I am so very sorry that society ignored your plight for so long.
These are the very type of groups infiltrating every level of government. The ones attacking school boards and getting books banned, the ones forcing women to carry unviable pregnancies until they die, the ones victim blaming, and criminalising miscarriages. This abuse is the very treatment from which scenes in the Handmaid's Tale have been taken.
It is so brave to tell her truth and so important to listen. This could be ALL of the US if the modern Republican Party is not stopped in its tracks.
Grow up. This is not a political video.
Warped thinking
Oh amazing! So good to see Kathy here ❤
Thank you, Kathy, for sharing your story. You’re so right about sharing your deep dark secret to heal. Much love to you!
I really think this is such an important podcast. Thank you all for always coming on and sharing like this 💜
✨️You're all so strong✨️ some moments seem so raw... and make me pretty emotional.
I was brought to a baptist youth group by a friend that focused on doing high intensity very fun friday nights. they roped me in with those then I ended up doing bible study and next thing you know I was getting baptized on Easter Sunday and bearing my “testimony” to the church (at like 14) it didn’t last long but it was so welcoming and intentional in its converting me and keeping me in once I arrived
Have you considered maybe doing an episode on The Way International? I escaped this cult when I was in my early twenties with my daughter.
Hearing survivors’ stories has made me open my eyes and realize that this is EVERYWHERE.
I am so grateful for a dad who listened to me, came and picked me up and I was able to leave an abusive IFB church and school.
Shelise, as always, thank you for being a great host and interviewer. You are the best. Stay on maternity leave as long as you need to! I hope new mommyhood is going well for you!
Thank you for sharing! I’m so happy you’re finally getting justice!!!
24:15 As someone who was in a culty FIB church this really rings true
But in the one I went to it was just more extreme and i would leave some of these services upset.Because I started seeing that things they said weren't aligning with actual scripture
33:38 I remember being taught that I shouldn't have any secular friends or non christian friends. It never made sense to me especially since I've met total the most genuine authentic and caring people who weren't even in the same religious circle as me. When you get older, you start questioning everything about your religious outbringing when you see in real life the opposite is true a lot the time
Thank you for sharing Kathy you’re an inspiration to others
Just at the 54:10 mark and hearing so many similarities to this Netflix docu series that I am watching. The Program. Am almost through and its about this teen deprogramming facility. Same tactics, awful circumstances, just heartbreaking. It also felt very culty. Watching it I could imagine you guys interviewing some of the people involved in the future. With the little one, I imagine that it will take quite some time. But it seems that with this one, it will be a similar experience to listen to.
I’m sorry you had to endure this. You are a strong woman!
Not only did Kathy have to deal with everything around the church, but had to be in a school that, by the sounds of it, was very much a part of the troubled teen industry. I had just seen and read information about Elan School, and almost everything Kathy mentioned about her experience at the girls' school was identical to multiple experiences documented at Elan and other similar schools.
And the conditions of the system...
This is wild. I attend a Reformed Baptist church and the pastor has NEVER preached on modesty, or sex, or hassled us to tithe (it's privately done and the only requirement is that you give what you can give cheerfully a la the Bible).
The emphasis is on loving Christ, whereafter you will obey out of love and gratitude, and that that bit is up to us.
He is big on asking questions, heavy on independent scripture reading, happy to say "I'm not sure" when asked questions.
I find this all fascinating. I would probably describe our church as fundamental, but we are extremely free to act, dress, whatever as we see fit, provided we can back it up with scripture and joining the church can only be done as a adult and must be a free choice!
Hi Shelise, sorry I’ve been away for a little bit, just some health issues. I’ve got bone diseases that cause chronic pain and I get flare ups but all good. Nothing as bad as what yourself or Kathy have been through.
Kathy, thank you so so much for sharing Part 1 of your story. OMG! That “reform” school was evil and ran by biblical power trippers that their sole purpose was to abuse young teenage girls. Shame on your mother, it will be interesting to know if you have any sort of relationship with her now.
It seems many churches are guilty of hiding child rapists and abusers. We call them rock spiders in Australia, it has a meaning that isn’t pleasant but captures what these disgusting mongrels do.
You are an amazing storyteller Kathy. You’re very articulate and you capture moments like we were there with you. The thoughts and feelings you’ve endured come across so well through your speech. I look forward to part 2.
I am dreadfully sorry for all that you have suffered at the hands of this so called church and the sickos that enabled it.
Thank you to you both, Shelise and Kathy for this important and enthralling episode. That hour flew by. You are both treasures ❤❤
Hi Jojo! Hope you’re feeling a bit better!❤️ thank you for your thoughtful comments!
What a resilient person