this. it took me far too long to realize this. i always thought my freeze and fawn responses were invalid, but they’re very much valid- they just aren’t talked about enough, and that’s really dangerous.
@merulaamethyst2248 oh my goodness, I have a friend in similar shoes and the stories are horrible. As a now almost senior adult she is finally realizing that her mom is WRONG. My heart goes to you and my hope is that you find yourself outside of the lies of your "mother." You. Are. MORE than Enough!
“We can never compare our traumas because just because something wasn’t seen as bad as someone else had it, that doesn’t mean it wasn’t hugely affective in our life”
It just sounds like something a murderer like Theresa Knorr and several other so-called parents have done to their own kids and other kids that they were put in charge of.
@@Bubba.mitchell4603 right, I was going to say sometimes it happens without trying. In that case, I'd rather grow up feeling like a victim/survivor who needs to heal, than to grow up to become the perpetrator.
Thank you for the victim talk, because even at 70, I have trouble accepting that I was a victim during my childhood because I don’t want to be seen as one. I’ve put on a front my whole adulthood to prove I’m okay, I survived hell and don’t need others to acknowledge it. I now hope to be able to tell at least one of my friends the truth of my childhood. My kids have no idea, and I can’t see myself telling them, but maybe I can write it down.
Please tell your story to someone. Please speak your truth.. if not to family or friends, maybe to a therapist or even a complete stranger.. write.. make it anonymous if you want/need to, but get it out.. our secrets make us sick.. you deserve to heal just as much as anyone else ❤️🩹
Thank you so much for sharing that with me. I understand your struggle as you know. I highly suggest sharing. You have nothing to lose and the magic happens once you step outside your comfort zone. You're worth it and you are even stronger than you realize 🫶🏻
You are in the same age group as me so even though my parents weren't religious we were still told not to talk about what went on at home. My father was alcohol dependent and we weren't allowed to tell anyone.
Regarding trauma comparison: I’ve had people tell me that their back hurts then immediately backtrack, “But I shouldn’t complain because you live with so much worse.” My response? Just because I’m hurting doesn’t mean your hurt doesn’t matter. Same thing goes for trauma.
Ive often thought that some of that comes from so many of us not being taken seriously as underage reporters, so we get really hung up in displaying our wounds to ensure we're taken seriously.
Yeah, it bothers me to see other people invalidate either others' or their own experiences by comparing. Comparing trauma, experiences and feelings is not useful or healthy for anyone. Sharing, relating and trying to understand are very helpful. They can look a bit similar, but they feel very different.
Yes! I have a pretty extensive trauma history and multiple mental illnesses and it honestly breaks my heart every time my partner or one of my very few close friends (the only people other than my therapist who knows about most/all of my traumas) vents about something they're struggling with and then apologizes for venting because "I know you've been through much worse, I have no reason to complain about this." Trauma, pain, stress, etc is all relative. If my friend or partner is breaking down because they got fired from their job, they are feeling just as much pain in that moment as I did when I experienced what is considered "valid" trauma. If your world is falling apart, your world is falling apart. Doesn't matter what that looks like. When I was in the psychiatric hospital as a teenager there was one doctor who asked me to tell my "story" of how I ended up there to the group. I didn't care because I didn't really feel anything. But I realized years later that the way it was done, he wanted a few of the other kids, one in particular, to basically feel grateful that they weren't in my position and stop "acting out" or whatever. At the time it was kind of nice to be able to talk about what was going on with me. Now I feel disgusted. No one's trauma is invalid just because someone went through something that many people consider to be worse/more traumatic.
My mom taught me that one. She was chronically ill from 1992-2008. One day she asked "how are you feeling?" Me: "I don't want to complain." Mom: "honey, you're allowed to be in pain. It's not a competition."
A prison couldn’t legally do that to someone who was the most violent criminal, murderer, like a cartel member or terrorist, but a “Christian” school for troubled teens can do that? Hell no, we need to know if that girl is even still alive. The scumbags who think they represent God while doing this will be in for a shock when they are face to face with God.
"...hurt so good" - nailed it. It can be a rude awakening, but it's such an important realization. The statement that brought it home for me a couple years ago is "Trauma doesn't always mean catastrophic events." You can't heal from trauma until you acknowledge it's there and it's valid. I was dismissive of the idea that my childhood had anything to do with my mental health struggles. I felt selfish complaining, knowing that so many others had it so much worse, and since it wasn't physical for the most part, it didn't seem like a big deal. I started working with a therapist whose reaction to things I'd tell her about my parents and home life made me see it from a different perspective, and from there, I was able to face the trauma head-on. For me, it's not about blaming everything on a dysfunctional family unit, but holding it up to the light & seeing it for what it is, forgiving, moving forward, and overcoming the lingering effects. Still a work in progress. I wish you the best on your healing journey🌞
At one point, Ashley mentions having to routinely switch bedrooms at the facility but doesn't know the reason behind the rule. It's done this way for multiple reasons. A bedroom is a haven to most kids. It's a safe place. It's a comforting retreat. It's something to look forward to. It's privacy. It's home. And they wanted to disrupt that sense of comfort. They didn't want those girls setting down any sort of roots.
That is a tale as old as time. My mom, who is past 70, was in a Catholic boarding school. Diaries were forbidden, the only privacy was curtains. But closing them was frowned upon, especially when there was another person there.
That’s explains a lot , my narcissistic mother used rearrange my room when I wasn’t home. She’d claim that she was looking for drugs and she’d destroy cherished possessions and clothes. I don’t take drugs I was severely depressed mainly because of my parents continual emotional abuse.
I’m a survivor of the troubled teen industry, and while my programs weren’t based in religion, we definitely had similarities with this. We weren’t allowed to speak to each other at all, no physical contact, no contact with our parents, and we had to be within sight of staff at all times. Like her, we didn’t get to wear our own clothes or have personal items. It’s so dehumanizing. Thank you Ashley, for courageously sharing your story, and thank you Shelise for giving TTI survivors a platform💗
I'm in LA currently and would do an interview. I was at Spring Creek Lodge, a wwasp program (that's the org featured in the Netflix documentary) +raised Mormon.@@CultstoConsciousness
@@CultstoConsciousnessIf you haven't already, please reach out to Emily Harper! She's a UA-camr who was sent to a school for troubled girls and has talked about how much of a cult it was.
As a little girl in the 50's I remember a series of Christian pamphlets for children called "Little Debbie" about a sweet little godly child who was always cheerful and always talking about Jesus and witnessing to people about the Lord. This fictional character caused me so much guilt and shame because I knew I could never be that good. As an adult I tried to find copies of these pamphlets and I did, but guess what?? They were called "Little Susie"!! My name is Debbie. WOW! I sure did internalize them.
How the gospel has been so, so twisted. Sorry that this was your experience. None of us can be perfect. That is what the sacrifice of Jesus was about. Just remember that God didn't do this to you, people did. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. Leave the doctrines of men. You are so very much loved.❤
100pc but america doesnt have human rights. The genocide and regume of america is much less obvious than stalinist russia because you're free to eat burgers and have guns but you live in a crazy regime and are a very backwards country.
Learning about us women who were autisic or adhd since birth but just punished into hating themselves and never understood with compassion. Any self soothing is turned into an issue. I was just diagnosed at 45 and am seeing so much now.
Always makes me happy to see other autistic people, I was diagnosed young but only recently realised I have selective mutism, hope you can continue to self soothe and do what brings you joy.❤
I was also diagnosed with adhd later as a female. My parents treated me like I was friends with the devil. Instead of taking me or my brothers with adhd to doctors or psychologists they saw us as sinners and bad kids. They also talked to pastors a lot. Consequently all of us no longer go to church and all of us no longer associate with them. They cannot figure out why. Instead of trying to find out they act like they are the victims and only pray. My mom puts her “relationship” with church, church members and God above the relationship with her children and grandchildren.
Being diagnosed with Autism late is a big reason why I relate to cult survivors so much. The being bullied into conformity for ridiculous reasons, getting new information and all of a sudden seeing everything completely differently, having to unpack all your beliefs about yourself and society and the world… the realization that you are not a bad person you were just treated terribly…
For those saying "just get over it" This message is to you. I have been in some trash relationships and followed that exact thought pattern. Just gritting my teeth moving on and not fully processing my pain. I'm now so bitter and jaded and tired I never want to date again. I'm still in my 30s. Just get over it doesn't work. Learn from my mistakes.
I would get the same thing about my depression by my ex husband I feel the same way you do but I am 43 I don't know if it's fear of getting the same type of man or I just really don't want to be in another relationship
Hear hear!! I bought into toxic positivity and it ended up with me just being burnt out and having a harder time unpacking all the trauma I stuffed down for so long. You can’t *choose* to move on, you have to be ready.
Take time to process your feelings. Be angry but not bitter. Continue to work on yourself and love on yourself. You will heal and love again. I promise
Paris Hilton and Drew Barrymore, both have spoken out against these institutions and I have a lot of respect for that. My mom was SO CLOSE to sending my brother to one, he has enough trauma that he's still dealing with 30+ years later I'm so glad he wasn't sent.
Witnessing someone who is talking about their trauma is HEALING! Trauma is related to some unprocessed hurt or reflects the inability of a person to take care of themselves or express themselves in the past. Talking about it and receiving compassion and empathy for that past hurt/trauma, is sooooo healing!!!!
I'm wondering if Ashley knows what happened to the girl in the get-right room. Was she ever found and did she get help. So heartbreaking. Ashley, you are totally worthy of love and peace and happiness.
When you’re in the get right room, you have food and water. A chair to sit on at a desk if you eventually write your lines. You get to leave to use the bathroom and to go to sleep. Then you’re back in the room after chapel. The point is to isolate you all day and break you down until you conform. I was there for 367 days and she was in that room the moment I arrived and the moment I left. I’m not sure what happened to her… I would imagine she ended up writing her lines or giving up and waited to turn 18.
Ashley, I attended this school as well in 2001. It altered my whole life and have never been the same since. You say you would have done thing’s differently there now. Well I did and it resulted on me being on buddy for the 1st six months I was there and not even allowed to have a pencil for 9 months. You did what you had to do to survive. Thank you for bringing light to this and the monsters who do this under the name of “Religion”
I don't ever post and i'm a silent listener but watch every video that's posted, and I just want to thank you from the bottom of my heart Shelise and Jonathan for shining a light on all these cults/high demand groups and religions and challenging my own thoughts and beliefs for the better. I also want to thank Ashley and all the guest for being so vulnerable and sharing their stories so we can all find validity in our own stories! Keep up the amazing work!!! ❤
@@NachosMom so after doing a little bit more digging, I guess genesis by the sea was the name for the baja, Mexico location and the Florida location was called lighthouse. If you google it, there’s tons of results that come up including a vice article from 2017 as well as a bunch of articles recounting peoples firsthand experiences there. Additionally, there are quite a few articles that pop up detailing investigations into lighthouse, as well as its founder Michael Palmer, which resulted in the reform school being shut down in 2013.
Thats why she seemed to sincerely believe she was doing the right thing ,plus the fact she went overboard to become better than good as if trying to b exemplary to please someone ,plus the pretending that ppl learn in these environments
My mom dabbled in different culty groups, and I remember being baffled by people speaking in tongues. Very thankful both my parents were not really religious for different reasons. Thank you for exposing how many cults are out there.
there may be a double reason why places like this sometimes don't allow mirrors as they can be broken and then used by those who are feeling suicidal. I actually know someone who was confined and smashed a mirror and tried to cut her throat majorly injuring herself.
My father would accuse me of looking in the rear view car mirror from the backseat. Would also tell me to Dry it up if I cried and I was always supposed to act happy
@@tanyabrown9839 I know that's sometimes the reason, but not in my school. The room where the mirrors were locked up also had a drawer full of razorblades with no lock on it. They didn't even keep count of how many blades were in it or keep track of who went into the room.
It makes me furious that young women are still going thru this type of torture - hate that women throughout the world are still living with shame and remnants of dysfunction. BTW - baby congrats?? 🎉❤ Blessings to you & your guest!!
My brother was sent to a similar type of place when he was "misbehaving", called The Community. These people run a number of these schools and one of them is in Florida. A very similar type story. It would be really interesting if you did a piece on the Community. Love your channel Shelise. You do amazing work 👏 🙌 ❤️ ❤
Thank you! We are looking into more troubled teen industry places. If your brother would like to share, he can email us! Cultstoconsciousness@gmail.com
People who say, "don't be a victim" don't belong in this comments section or on this channel. The people who come on and share their stories here are so brave and I think they probably help a lot of other people who have been through any sort of trauma, be it religious or otherwise.
I had a older stalker that use to threaten me with this, he told me he was gonna take me and turn me into his handmaiden and breed me. It took me years to realize that that wasn’t just his fantasy, that it was a thing. Que sera sera, “what wil be will be” was my motto until I realized that’s a trauma response.
This was a totally amazing episode. So well spoken. As it applies to cults, yes but also for everyone who lives and continues to fight the good fight towards healing from Trauma.
I usually don't com.ent we need legislators to stop this cruel and unusual punishment. I'm mad at all these kids being u can't do that to prisoners. I know I worked one as a nurse.
The government needs to regulate places like this as well as places for adults with addiction issues. There needs to be a regulatory body and these places need to have licensed therapist and medical doctors that are licensed and required to take continuing education. There needs to be yearly checks by people undercover so they can see what is really going on and the people running these places need to be held accountable with prison terms and be band from doing anything to do with therapy or in the case of these schools children.
I also thought of a drug rehab facility my friend was sent to for over a year. These places are full of problems, lots of potential for abuse or cultiness, not enough accountability.
It hurts my heart to hear she feels guilty! It was NOT her fault. None of it. NONE of all that was her responsibility. We all deal with trauma differently. She was not spineless, she’s just a girl trying to survive. It was NOT her fault she was forced into survival mode.
I hope y'all are enjoying your new baby!! Thank you for working so hard to give us your voice still while you're enjoying the first days of her life. I can't express how much your podcast has helped me!! Thank you so much!! This story I'm crying right at the beginning because my family sent me away for a summer when I was young. It was with my brother and not an abusive home, but it still stings. Stories like these help me recognize it's not my fault that my family was indoctrinated or they thought I needed to be sent away for my normal teenager behavior.
Same! I was sent to live with my older sister for over a year, because I started acting out as a result of chronic, ongoing abuse, and as a result of a horrific and abusive childhood full of violence, chaos, neglect, and my parents' addictions. Apparently, me finally breaking down after 15-16 years of constant verbal, emotional, physical, and even s*xual abuse...meant I was a horrible person. I was sent away because my family didn't want to deal with me. Thank God I had one sane, adult sister who took me in, gave me a stable environment, and got me in a stable mindset for the first time in my entire life...I got lucky having her as my big sister. Nobody else cared about me at all...I was just a "problem," a nuisance, that nobody wanted around.
I have an 11 year old and yes she can be jerky sometimes, mouthy sometimes and doesn't always listen but i would never send her to anything like that. i take away her theater tickets and may not let her watch UA-cam. Any parent who sends a 10 year old there should be investigated for child abuse. This is torture.
i think what traumatises us may be relative but the trauma we hold , the effect it has and that journey to recovery are something that is universal. Also bareing witness to your guests s part of my healing journey and I'm grateful for every story shared
@@Exiled.New.YorkerOr at least we should learn from them to avoid repeating them. That experiment definitely shouldn't have happened, but since it did, it should be a warning.
There are advocates who are working on getting laws passed. Channels like this and sharing it as much as possible, documentaries that have come out, articles being written… it’s all coming to light. Paris Hilton is doing a ton of work on this.
Ashley, you are amazing- thank you so much, for sharing your story, the hard work you’ve been doing, and the perspective that the work has been opening for you. Thank you, Shelise, for another soul-nourishing episode. I haven’t been in a cult, but I was undiagnosed w/ ADD and autism, until my senior year of high school, and I identify a lot with a lot of the deconstruction and untangling internalized harm that you and your guests discuss. Thank you again, to you both. Blessed be, dear ones 💜⚡️
A compelling interview - and she's still here (to paraphrase Stephen Sondheim). Glad Ashley's doing so well now. Strong and resilient woman. Thanks Ashley and Shelise.
Y’all this sounds like Jody H. and Ruby .. they put her son and daughter in the cell. Incredibly Ruby was Thrilled her daughter had no idea it was her birthday because she had lost track of time and am/pm!I am praying this place is no longer!!!!
Wow. As a mother I don't know how I'd be able to live with myself after finding out what kind of place I left my child in... I'm so glad she's strong and living a better life now and spreading awareness! Such an inspiration! Side note, she looks like Ke$ha🤘
Awww I know it’s so sad to think about. It broke my mom’s heart and to be honest, it’s not easy for us to talk about. We have both grieved that part of our lives and are happy to be living life in this reality today. We both have released our guilt + shame and that is a gift 🙏🏻
Thank you so much for sharing this, especially your comments about not comparing trauma. I haven't been in any kind of cult, but I did have hurtful things happen within a mainstream church that I'm processing through. All stories are valid. Love the comment about "meeting myself with softness"
Oh Ashley, I’m so sorry you have felt unworthy to speak because you compared your experience to others. But your pain, damage, and any survival thinking and survival behavior is just as valid as anyone’s. Plus, we underestimate the damage we experience as we witness the abuse of others. That’s a powerful form of damage of its own. Thank you for your courage to share and to be on a healing path. Your story and journey to recovery have power and has touched me. You are courageous and amazing.
Also, you talking about this experience is giving a voice to the persons who were treated worse and might not be able to talk about their experiences. Thank you for sharing.
I live in the tiny town right next to Jay, Florida!! I had NO idea there was a place like that there. I'm going hunting tomorrow! I'm so sorry you went through that.
I can relate to so much of this girl’s story. I was raised in a Christian cult from age 5-18. The government eventually shut the church down and prosecuted some of its leaders and perpetrators. I am 54 and will never be able to wash away the indoctrination. It is ingrained to the deepest depths of my souls and brain. Great story! Well articulated. I have never watched a show from this channel but will watch more.
Ashley, thank you for speaking up. I'm sure your story will resonnate with a lot of victims out there who don't feel like they really are victims because they don't themselves validate their traumas. It's so important to hear that you don't have to have endured the most horrendous physical abuse to be a victim and to be traumatized
Ashley tells her story so well .thank you for sharing your story . Please Ashley write a book I'll wait 😊 . Please everyone share this video this really needs to be known. It needs to be stopped!
You were a child. You did what you had to do to survive. I’m glad you’ve worked through it are working through feeling guilty about not helping others. Again you were just a child. My heart hurts for you.
Awww thank you. I know. I have definitely shown some love to that part of me that held onto the shame and guilt. Gratefully, I have worked through and released those old belief systems 🙏🏻
How in the world does a 'so called' religious educational institution report multiple deaths and not become investigated at the level of child abuse at the minimum? How could all those legally responsible parents, care takers not twig to these stories and then not complain to the authorities? Were they burying these dead children on the property or throwing bodies into a river? When are you going to report it?
@51:00 so true, you cant compare trauma like that, "someone else's cancer doesnt take away the pain in your broken leg" its different, but its valid pain
This girl makes so much sense . She is remarkable and helping us know we are okay. That's the best gift a person can give. Thank you. I'm 75 years old and you helped me.
That was fantastic, thank you for sharing! Yes, resonated for years back through the present. I want to cry regarding loving oneself and being softer and affirming to oneself that the emotions are ok and valid and have a reason (more digging required regarding myself).
Thank you for sharing your story with us Ashley. It always warms my heart when I hear other survivors of abuse coming home to themselves. Solidarity xx
Thank you for sharing your story. I had 'not that bad' compared to others. But I've learned too. Your trauma was traumatic to you. It's not the the trauma olympics. The healing is the point.
I went to public school in the 60s and 70s. My home life was constant abuse therefore I became an easy target for bullies, even bully teachers. Just watching these shows bring back memories that make me think...hey that was diffinitly wrong, why didn't anyone do or say anything? I'm glad things are changing for the kids today.
I near broke down hearing " I am learning how to be my own best friend". Seems so simple, but absolutely SO powerful. Thank you to Ashley & thank you for this podcast. I am unfortunately not able to make the Costa Rica trip, it looks amazing. I hope you continue to do this in the future! Much love & hugs from Ont, Canada.
The way yall are talking about the being victimized and being a victim is valid is so wonderful to hear. You are also survivors and have come so far. I love that has been said. ❤
This conversation hit me in so many ways. I’ve gotten to a point in my life that I am able to tell my mom things that hurt me when I was growing up. Her response is, “Well, we can’t go back and change it.” My response is, “No, but I felt at the time I couldn’t voice how I felt, and now I know that even though it’s in the past, I can still share how those actions hurt me.” I have a voice that I can now use that I didn’t know I had as a child.
Thank you so much Ashley for your enourmous courage to share your horrendous experience from this camp and abuse 🙏❤️❤️❤️ I am so shaken to even hear that those places exist, can’t even find words!! You are a true hero, and sharing your experience is for sure helping many more to dare opening up! 🤗❤️ Thank you so much Shelise for givning Asley and so many more a voice out in the world! ❤❤
Thank you Ashley for sharing your experiences. Shelise you are awesome for allowing others the space to share their experiences. From a therapist lense it is important to acknowledge your experiences and how they affect you on a continuous basis.
I am just at the beginning but that literally broke my heart. That is torture. These people need to be locked up! Sending you so much love and healing. I will edit if I have anything else to say! ❤❤❤❤❤ Why is it that when i hear them say they got "saved" I know it's going downhill? Btw i prefer to say i am a survivor! You were victimized but now you are a survivor. Power to Survivors!
I feel so connected to Ashley. Her trauma journey and appreciation for nature feel so similar to me. Thank you for bringing her into your show. I needed to hear her journey today. 💕
Thank you for sharing. I did not know what went on in places such as in the one you experienced. It's wrong. You share wisdom and healing that can help many. You are strong!
Wow what a wonderful interview. The interviewee was so graceful and articulate. My heart goes out to her. I respect and admire the amount of work she has obviously done to get herself to her current mindset. What a wonderful outcome for such a beautiful person. Thanks for sharing
I was in one of these places. It was called victorious valley homes in South Carolina. I have so much trauma and so many nightmares still years later from that place.
Oh my, what an inspirational, loving person! I'll have to rewatch the later part several times and take notes. I whish you very well and more healing and just everything good on your path!
Thankyou for a great interview Shelise❤ &thankyou for your story Ashley ,you did great & it was really interesting and I'm glad your OK now,oh yes &I love feeding squirrels also 😅❤ all the way from 🇬🇧x🌞🌞🌞
I have heard clients telling me similar stuff in healing the inner child in my 23 years expereince as a therapist ... you so need to heal the fragmented aspects of you from this trauma... So much love to you both... as you disassociate at the time to survive, but now is the time to heal the inner you. Great that you're speaking out Ashley .Wonder sharing xxx
I was also in a culty behavioral modification program as a teen. It was one of the wwasp programs featured in the Netflix docu "the program: cons, cults, and kidnapping." It was weird because most/many of the admin/staff were mormon, and i was raised Mormon... It was strange to sit at that crossroads.
Greetings from germany. Love to all survivors. Thank u for sharing your story. Btw what we all seem to forget is, that u can´t be a survivor with beeing a victim first.
Having had anxiety my whole life and trauma from living with a very narcissistic parent, I can identify with a lot feelings here and appreciate the insight. Thanks so much ❤
I just started listening - literally in the intro right now, and I'm already furious with the punishment those awful "leaders" implemented! That being said, I'll probably comment again.
![Lp. Сердце Вселенной #60 РОЖДЕНИЕ ЛОЛОЛОШКИ [Финал] • Майнкрафт](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/YoR0pAV9FVQ/mqdefault.jpg)
Survival responses = freeze, flight, fight and fawn. Being a goodie to survive is in fact a survival response.
My life in a comment. Right there.
this. it took me far too long to realize this. i always thought my freeze and fawn responses were invalid, but they’re very much valid- they just aren’t talked about enough, and that’s really dangerous.
@merulaamethyst2248 oh my goodness, I have a friend in similar shoes and the stories are horrible. As a now almost senior adult she is finally realizing that her mom is WRONG. My heart goes to you and my hope is that you find yourself outside of the lies of your "mother." You. Are. MORE than Enough!
Known factor. Google "jewish ghetto police".
💯. None of this is your fault. You did what you had to do survive.
“We can never compare our traumas because just because something wasn’t seen as bad as someone else had it, that doesn’t mean it wasn’t hugely affective in our life”
True!
That's very well said!
@@emmad.176 that was her quote!!!!
True. That is why people are put off by attending church. They tell you, you should be thankful.
Turning victims into perpetrators is so gross.
Persecution of the persecuted, victims victimizing victims. Seems inhumane, but it's all too human.
That’s how bullying starts
It just sounds like something a murderer like Theresa Knorr and several other so-called parents have done to their own kids and other kids that they were put in charge of.
@@Bubba.mitchell4603 right, I was going to say sometimes it happens without trying. In that case, I'd rather grow up feeling like a victim/survivor who needs to heal, than to grow up to become the perpetrator.
Especially under the guise of salvation. Just pure evil and torture.
Thank you for the victim talk, because even at 70, I have trouble accepting that I
was a victim during my childhood because I don’t want to be seen as one. I’ve put on a front my whole adulthood to prove I’m okay, I survived hell and don’t need others to acknowledge it. I now hope to be able to tell at least one of my friends the truth of my childhood. My kids have no idea, and I can’t see myself telling them, but maybe I can write it down.
Wow, this is so powerful. Thank you for sharing that.❤️
Please tell your story to someone. Please speak your truth.. if not to family or friends, maybe to a therapist or even a complete stranger.. write.. make it anonymous if you want/need to, but get it out.. our secrets make us sick.. you deserve to heal just as much as anyone else ❤️🩹
Thank you so much for sharing that with me. I understand your struggle as you know. I highly suggest sharing. You have nothing to lose and the magic happens once you step outside your comfort zone. You're worth it and you are even stronger than you realize 🫶🏻
You are in the same age group as me so even though my parents weren't religious we were still told not to talk about what went on at home.
My father was alcohol dependent and we weren't allowed to tell anyone.
You are a survivor not a victim ❤
Regarding trauma comparison: I’ve had people tell me that their back hurts then immediately backtrack, “But I shouldn’t complain because you live with so much worse.” My response? Just because I’m hurting doesn’t mean your hurt doesn’t matter. Same thing goes for trauma.
Ive often thought that some of that comes from so many of us not being taken seriously as underage reporters, so we get really hung up in displaying our wounds to ensure we're taken seriously.
Exactly
Yeah, it bothers me to see other people invalidate either others' or their own experiences by comparing. Comparing trauma, experiences and feelings is not useful or healthy for anyone. Sharing, relating and trying to understand are very helpful. They can look a bit similar, but they feel very different.
Yes! I have a pretty extensive trauma history and multiple mental illnesses and it honestly breaks my heart every time my partner or one of my very few close friends (the only people other than my therapist who knows about most/all of my traumas) vents about something they're struggling with and then apologizes for venting because "I know you've been through much worse, I have no reason to complain about this." Trauma, pain, stress, etc is all relative. If my friend or partner is breaking down because they got fired from their job, they are feeling just as much pain in that moment as I did when I experienced what is considered "valid" trauma. If your world is falling apart, your world is falling apart. Doesn't matter what that looks like.
When I was in the psychiatric hospital as a teenager there was one doctor who asked me to tell my "story" of how I ended up there to the group. I didn't care because I didn't really feel anything. But I realized years later that the way it was done, he wanted a few of the other kids, one in particular, to basically feel grateful that they weren't in my position and stop "acting out" or whatever. At the time it was kind of nice to be able to talk about what was going on with me. Now I feel disgusted. No one's trauma is invalid just because someone went through something that many people consider to be worse/more traumatic.
My mom taught me that one.
She was chronically ill from 1992-2008.
One day she asked "how are you feeling?"
Me: "I don't want to complain."
Mom: "honey, you're allowed to be in pain. It's not a competition."
Omg! Someone needs to investigate and follow up on the girl stuck in the “Get Right Room” for a year!
A prison couldn’t legally do that to someone who was the most violent criminal, murderer, like a cartel member or terrorist, but a “Christian” school for troubled teens can do that? Hell no, we need to know if that girl is even still alive. The scumbags who think they represent God while doing this will be in for a shock when they are face to face with God.
Found news about this school online, as she mentioned the city, Jay FL. It closed in 2013.
Good! @@MsKMX5
@@MsKMX5 Thank goodness!
Especially when she was in the “get right room” for 367 days in a year🤯surely she went home at some point in that time.
“You don’t need physical abuse to experience trauma and abuse, it’s very real”….well. That one hurt so good.
"...hurt so good" - nailed it. It can be a rude awakening, but it's such an important realization. The statement that brought it home for me a couple years ago is "Trauma doesn't always mean catastrophic events." You can't heal from trauma until you acknowledge it's there and it's valid. I was dismissive of the idea that my childhood had anything to do with my mental health struggles. I felt selfish complaining, knowing that so many others had it so much worse, and since it wasn't physical for the most part, it didn't seem like a big deal. I started working with a therapist whose reaction to things I'd tell her about my parents and home life made me see it from a different perspective, and from there, I was able to face the trauma head-on. For me, it's not about blaming everything on a dysfunctional family unit, but holding it up to the light & seeing it for what it is, forgiving, moving forward, and overcoming the lingering effects. Still a work in progress. I wish you the best on your healing journey🌞
I'm a Christian. And this is not what Christianity is supposed to look like.
At one point, Ashley mentions having to routinely switch bedrooms at the facility but doesn't know the reason behind the rule. It's done this way for multiple reasons. A bedroom is a haven to most kids. It's a safe place. It's a comforting retreat. It's something to look forward to. It's privacy. It's home. And they wanted to disrupt that sense of comfort. They didn't want those girls setting down any sort of roots.
This definitely checks out. They routinely did things to make us feel unsafe and forget who we were.
That is a tale as old as time. My mom, who is past 70, was in a Catholic boarding school. Diaries were forbidden, the only privacy was curtains. But closing them was frowned upon, especially when there was another person there.
This was precisely my thought when she said they moved rooms all the time.
That’s explains a lot , my narcissistic mother used rearrange my room when I wasn’t home. She’d claim that she was looking for drugs and she’d destroy cherished possessions and clothes. I don’t take drugs I was severely depressed mainly because of my parents continual emotional abuse.
Exactly this
I’m a survivor of the troubled teen industry, and while my programs weren’t based in religion, we definitely had similarities with this. We weren’t allowed to speak to each other at all, no physical contact, no contact with our parents, and we had to be within sight of staff at all times. Like her, we didn’t get to wear our own clothes or have personal items. It’s so dehumanizing. Thank you Ashley, for courageously sharing your story, and thank you Shelise for giving TTI survivors a platform💗
❤️ we plan on doing more in this genre
I'm in LA currently and would do an interview. I was at Spring Creek Lodge, a wwasp program (that's the org featured in the Netflix documentary) +raised Mormon.@@CultstoConsciousness
@@CultstoConsciousnessIf you haven't already, please reach out to Emily Harper! She's a UA-camr who was sent to a school for troubled girls and has talked about how much of a cult it was.
I'm so glad you're out and I hope you heal sending you lots of healing vibes❤❤❤
So what is the answer then, of what people should have done?
As a little girl in the 50's I remember a series of Christian pamphlets for children called "Little Debbie" about a sweet little godly child who was always cheerful and always talking about Jesus and witnessing to people about the Lord. This fictional character caused me so much guilt and shame because I knew I could never be that good. As an adult I tried to find copies of these pamphlets and I did, but guess what?? They were called "Little Susie"!! My name is Debbie. WOW! I sure did internalize them.
Woah!!!
Oh my gosh!
Maybe they changed the character’s name
You poor thing. I'm so sorry that happened to you. Sending you love.
How the gospel has been so, so twisted. Sorry that this was your experience. None of us can be perfect. That is what the sacrifice of Jesus was about. Just remember that God didn't do this to you, people did. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. Leave the doctrines of men. You are so very much loved.❤
She is very articulate and well spoken while describing a fuster cluck of a horrific life experience.
Right?!
prolonged solitary confinement is a violation of human rights
100pc but america doesnt have human rights. The genocide and regume of america is much less obvious than stalinist russia because you're free to eat burgers and have guns but you live in a crazy regime and are a very backwards country.
The United Nations says something like 15 day max. In solitary confinement
@@misleeannethis should be for hardened criminals only.
Thank you for exposing these mentally deranged cults.
I have a mini mule named Mulie! 😂🫏
Learning about us women who were autisic or adhd since birth but just punished into hating themselves and never understood with compassion. Any self soothing is turned into an issue. I was just diagnosed at 45 and am seeing so much now.
Always makes me happy to see other autistic people, I was diagnosed young but only recently realised I have selective mutism, hope you can continue to self soothe and do what brings you joy.❤
I was also diagnosed with adhd later as a female. My parents treated me like I was friends with the devil. Instead of taking me or my brothers with adhd to doctors or psychologists they saw us as sinners and bad kids. They also talked to pastors a lot. Consequently all of us no longer go to church and all of us no longer associate with them. They cannot figure out why. Instead of trying to find out they act like they are the victims and only pray. My mom puts her “relationship” with church, church members and God above the relationship with her children and grandchildren.
@@chaoticneutralsheep Hi!!!! I'm also autistic and selectively mute! It's so nice to see another person like me here.
Being diagnosed with Autism late is a big reason why I relate to cult survivors so much. The being bullied into conformity for ridiculous reasons, getting new information and all of a sudden seeing everything completely differently, having to unpack all your beliefs about yourself and society and the world… the realization that you are not a bad person you were just treated terribly…
Im not autistic, but as a different kind of neuroatypical, im glad someone finally gave you the answer you needed.
For those saying "just get over it" This message is to you. I have been in some trash relationships and followed that exact thought pattern. Just gritting my teeth moving on and not fully processing my pain. I'm now so bitter and jaded and tired I never want to date again. I'm still in my 30s. Just get over it doesn't work. Learn from my mistakes.
I would get the same thing about my depression by my ex husband I feel the same way you do but I am 43 I don't know if it's fear of getting the same type of man or I just really don't want to be in another relationship
@sherrita80548 man i have no idea what to do next lol. Hope we can figure it out :)
I am so sorry that someone said that to you. You need to do whatever is best for you. Sending you Love and healing ❤ power to survivors!
Hear hear!! I bought into toxic positivity and it ended up with me just being burnt out and having a harder time unpacking all the trauma I stuffed down for so long.
You can’t *choose* to move on, you have to be ready.
Take time to process your feelings. Be angry but not bitter. Continue to work on yourself and love on yourself. You will heal and love again. I promise
The person who is out there and most visible in dealing with abusive “therapeutic schools” is Paris Hilton.
Yes. She is the largest advocate for TTI schools.
@@ashfiletfor or against them?
What I would give for a C2C Paris Hilton interview!
Paris Hilton and Drew Barrymore, both have spoken out against these institutions and I have a lot of respect for that. My mom was SO CLOSE to sending my brother to one, he has enough trauma that he's still dealing with 30+ years later I'm so glad he wasn't sent.
Witnessing someone who is talking about their trauma is HEALING! Trauma is related to some unprocessed hurt or reflects the inability of a person to take care of themselves or express themselves in the past. Talking about it and receiving compassion and empathy for that past hurt/trauma, is sooooo healing!!!!
Agree!!
I'm wondering if Ashley knows what happened to the girl in the get-right room. Was she ever found and did she get help. So heartbreaking. Ashley, you are totally worthy of love and peace and happiness.
Same I can’t stop thinking about what happened to her. I hope she’s doing better, and got help for her trauma.
When you’re in the get right room, you have food and water. A chair to sit on at a desk if you eventually write your lines. You get to leave to use the bathroom and to go to sleep. Then you’re back in the room after chapel. The point is to isolate you all day and break you down until you conform. I was there for 367 days and she was in that room the moment I arrived and the moment I left. I’m not sure what happened to her… I would imagine she ended up writing her lines or giving up and waited to turn 18.
Ashley, I attended this school as well in 2001. It altered my whole life and have never been the same since. You say you would have done thing’s differently there now. Well I did and it resulted on me being on buddy for the 1st six months I was there and not even allowed to have a pencil for 9 months. You did what you had to do to survive. Thank you for bringing light to this and the monsters who do this under the name of “Religion”
What has happened to that girl? Did she survive?
@@GraceSkinner-s8s can you please share more of your experiences
I don't ever post and i'm a silent listener but watch every video that's posted, and I just want to thank you from the bottom of my heart Shelise and Jonathan for shining a light on all these cults/high demand groups and religions and challenging my own thoughts and beliefs for the better. I also want to thank Ashley and all the guest for being so vulnerable and sharing their stories so we can all find validity in our own stories! Keep up the amazing work!!! ❤
Hi! Thank you so much for your support! It means a lot ❤️
Thank you so much 🙏🏻
Name and shame...Stop these disgusting Children abusers 🤬😡😡😥😡
For anyone wondering, it’s genesis by the sea in Florida.
@@TheEnthusiasticHobo
I hope it doesn’t exist now, and they should all be charged with abuse
Yeah don't tell me these hell holes still exist!😮
@@NachosMom so after doing a little bit more digging, I guess genesis by the sea was the name for the baja, Mexico location and the Florida location was called lighthouse. If you google it, there’s tons of results that come up including a vice article from 2017 as well as a bunch of articles recounting peoples firsthand experiences there. Additionally, there are quite a few articles that pop up detailing investigations into lighthouse, as well as its founder Michael Palmer, which resulted in the reform school being shut down in 2013.
I can’t understand how adults can participate in this and think it’s okay-unless they have no conscience = psychopath
You can see where Jodi Hilderbrant got a lot of her practices, theses abusive child rearing practices that are in many extreme religious cults.
Thats why she seemed to sincerely believe she was doing the right thing ,plus the fact she went overboard to become better than good as if trying to b exemplary to please someone ,plus the pretending that ppl learn in these environments
What's up with the Hildebrandt last name. We have a "paster" in Canada who's a cult leader. That's his last name.
My mom dabbled in different culty groups, and I remember being baffled by people speaking in tongues. Very thankful both my parents were not really religious for different reasons. Thank you for exposing how many cults are out there.
People speaking in tongues freaks me out.
The reprogramming is so important. You deserve to be treated well❤❤
My grandma and aunt speak in tongues. It's extremely uncomfortable lol
@@shannonrising9024 I went to a church once where the pastor was crying and speaking in tongues. I never went back.
My cult school had rules about mirrors too. They kept the mirrors in a locked cabinet so we couldn't look at ourselves without permission.
😮
Wtf
there may be a double reason why places like this sometimes don't allow mirrors as they can be broken and then used by those who are feeling suicidal. I actually know someone who was confined and smashed a mirror and tried to cut her throat majorly injuring herself.
My father would accuse me of looking in the rear view car mirror from the backseat. Would also tell me to Dry it up if I cried and I was always supposed to act happy
@@tanyabrown9839 I know that's sometimes the reason, but not in my school. The room where the mirrors were locked up also had a drawer full of razorblades with no lock on it. They didn't even keep count of how many blades were in it or keep track of who went into the room.
It makes me furious that young women are still going thru this type of torture - hate that women throughout the world are still living with shame and remnants of dysfunction. BTW - baby congrats?? 🎉❤ Blessings to you & your guest!!
My brother was sent to a similar type of place when he was "misbehaving", called The Community. These people run a number of these schools and one of them is in Florida. A very similar type story. It would be really interesting if you did a piece on the Community.
Love your channel Shelise. You do amazing work 👏 🙌 ❤️ ❤
Thank you! We are looking into more troubled teen industry places. If your brother would like to share, he can email us! Cultstoconsciousness@gmail.com
People who say, "don't be a victim" don't belong in this comments section or on this channel. The people who come on and share their stories here are so brave and I think they probably help a lot of other people who have been through any sort of trauma, be it religious or otherwise.
Preach!🙌
The FBI needs to investigate them and arrest people.
Mike Palmer was arrested but he’s dead now. The school was shut down by the state.
@@ashfileti hope it has not resumed under another name?
Sounds like a North Korean re-education camp. They definitely read the Handmaids Tale.
I had a older stalker that use to threaten me with this, he told me he was gonna take me and turn me into his handmaiden and breed me. It took me years to realize that that wasn’t just his fantasy, that it was a thing. Que sera sera, “what wil be will be” was my motto until I realized that’s a trauma response.
This was a totally amazing episode.
So well spoken. As it applies to cults, yes but also for everyone who lives and continues to fight the good fight towards healing from Trauma.
Agreed!
I usually don't com.ent we need legislators to stop this cruel and unusual punishment. I'm mad at all these kids being u can't do that to prisoners. I know I worked one as a nurse.
It is insane that school can do things parents would go to jail for
The government needs to regulate places like this as well as places for adults with addiction issues. There needs to be a regulatory body and these places need to have licensed therapist and medical doctors that are licensed and required to take continuing education. There needs to be yearly checks by people undercover so they can see what is really going on and the people running these places need to be held accountable with prison terms and be band from doing anything to do with therapy or in the case of these schools children.
I also thought of a drug rehab facility my friend was sent to for over a year. These places are full of problems, lots of potential for abuse or cultiness, not enough accountability.
It hurts my heart to hear she feels guilty! It was NOT her fault. None of it. NONE of all that was her responsibility. We all deal with trauma differently. She was not spineless, she’s just a girl trying to survive. It was NOT her fault she was forced into survival mode.
You’re so right and I know that now. Thank you 🫂
I hope y'all are enjoying your new baby!! Thank you for working so hard to give us your voice still while you're enjoying the first days of her life. I can't express how much your podcast has helped me!! Thank you so much!! This story I'm crying right at the beginning because my family sent me away for a summer when I was young. It was with my brother and not an abusive home, but it still stings. Stories like these help me recognize it's not my fault that my family was indoctrinated or they thought I needed to be sent away for my normal teenager behavior.
I’m so happy to hear it’s been helpful! Thanks for sharing that. You’re definitely not alone ❤️ Baby is currently sleeping on my chest 🥰.
@@CultstoConsciousness 🥰🥰🥰
Same! I was sent to live with my older sister for over a year, because I started acting out as a result of chronic, ongoing abuse, and as a result of a horrific and abusive childhood full of violence, chaos, neglect, and my parents' addictions. Apparently, me finally breaking down after 15-16 years of constant verbal, emotional, physical, and even s*xual abuse...meant I was a horrible person. I was sent away because my family didn't want to deal with me. Thank God I had one sane, adult sister who took me in, gave me a stable environment, and got me in a stable mindset for the first time in my entire life...I got lucky having her as my big sister. Nobody else cared about me at all...I was just a "problem," a nuisance, that nobody wanted around.
The only thing I've ever heard about these reform type schools is that they're abusive and cultish.
I have an 11 year old and yes she can be jerky sometimes, mouthy sometimes and doesn't always listen but i would never send her to anything like that. i take away her theater tickets and may not let her watch UA-cam. Any parent who sends a 10 year old there should be investigated for child abuse. This is torture.
i think what traumatises us may be relative but the trauma we hold , the effect it has and that journey to recovery are something that is universal. Also bareing witness to your guests s part of my healing journey and I'm grateful for every story shared
Sounds like they used every learning that the Stanford Prison Experiment gained.
Some things we shouldnt know.
@@Exiled.New.YorkerOr at least we should learn from them to avoid repeating them. That experiment definitely shouldn't have happened, but since it did, it should be a warning.
The people who survived the experiment would be interesting guests for the podcast.
Why isn't there any laws controling places that welcome children? Those are torture facilities in the name of religion
There are advocates who are working on getting laws passed. Channels like this and sharing it as much as possible, documentaries that have come out, articles being written… it’s all coming to light. Paris Hilton is doing a ton of work on this.
Ashley, you are amazing- thank you so much, for sharing your story, the hard work you’ve been doing, and the perspective that the work has been opening for you.
Thank you, Shelise, for another soul-nourishing episode.
I haven’t been in a cult, but I was undiagnosed w/ ADD and autism, until my senior year of high school, and I identify a lot with a lot of the deconstruction and untangling internalized harm that you and your guests discuss. Thank you again, to you both. Blessed be, dear ones 💜⚡️
Ashley really is amazing! Thanks for your kind words. I’m glad this resonates ❤️
Aww thank you so much!! I am so glad you could relate and I appreciate you sharing 🫂
I resonated more with this than any interview. She is beautiful
A compelling interview - and she's still here (to paraphrase Stephen Sondheim). Glad Ashley's doing so well now. Strong and resilient woman. Thanks Ashley and Shelise.
Y’all this sounds like Jody H. and Ruby .. they put her son and daughter in the cell. Incredibly Ruby was Thrilled her daughter had no idea it was her birthday because she had lost track of time and am/pm!I am praying this place is no longer!!!!
How come these type of schools don’t get shut down by the state when this abuse comes to light?
This one eventually did
@@CultstoConsciousnessoh I’m glad to hear that!!
Religious organizations rarely get regulated.
They still have church run schools for Natives....So......idk😢
Christianity has special privileges in America
Don't minimize your trauma
Everyone needs to tell their story. If no one talks about their trauma nobody would know about all the abuse so please tell us louder ❤️
How come such schools are at all legal?! Thank you two for your wonderful work (and recovery❤)
Wow. As a mother I don't know how I'd be able to live with myself after finding out what kind of place I left my child in... I'm so glad she's strong and living a better life now and spreading awareness! Such an inspiration!
Side note, she looks like Ke$ha🤘
Awww I know it’s so sad to think about. It broke my mom’s heart and to be honest, it’s not easy for us to talk about. We have both grieved that part of our lives and are happy to be living life in this reality today. We both have released our guilt + shame and that is a gift 🙏🏻
Thank you so much for sharing this, especially your comments about not comparing trauma. I haven't been in any kind of cult, but I did have hurtful things happen within a mainstream church that I'm processing through. All stories are valid.
Love the comment about "meeting myself with softness"
I think this has been my favorite C2C episode yet. You are both such beautiful souls.
Wow, thank you! Ashley is so easy to talk to and so enlightened and aware.
Thanks!
Oh Ashley, I’m so sorry you have felt unworthy to speak because you compared your experience to others. But your pain, damage, and any survival thinking and survival behavior is just as valid as anyone’s. Plus, we underestimate the damage we experience as we witness the abuse of others. That’s a powerful form of damage of its own. Thank you for your courage to share and to be on a healing path. Your story and journey to recovery have power and has touched me. You are courageous and amazing.
Also, you talking about this experience is giving a voice to the persons who were treated worse and might not be able to talk about their experiences. Thank you for sharing.
I live in the tiny town right next to Jay, Florida!! I had NO idea there was a place like that there. I'm going hunting tomorrow! I'm so sorry you went through that.
Meeting yourself with softness and grace… that really spoke to me and is something I definitely need to learn. ❤
This story was extra special to me. It really hit home. Keep up the great work Ashley. I took a lot away from this one.
I can relate to so much of this girl’s story. I was raised in a Christian cult from age 5-18. The government eventually shut the church down and prosecuted some of its leaders and perpetrators. I am 54 and will never be able to wash away the indoctrination. It is ingrained to the deepest depths of my souls and brain. Great story! Well articulated. I have never watched a show from this channel but will watch more.
Ashley, thank you for speaking up. I'm sure your story will resonnate with a lot of victims out there who don't feel like they really are victims because they don't themselves validate their traumas. It's so important to hear that you don't have to have endured the most horrendous physical abuse to be a victim and to be traumatized
Ashley tells her story so well .thank you for sharing your story . Please Ashley write a book I'll wait 😊 . Please everyone share this video this really needs to be known. It needs to be stopped!
You were a child. You did what you had to do to survive. I’m glad you’ve worked through it are working through feeling guilty about not helping others. Again you were just a child. My heart hurts for you.
Awww thank you. I know. I have definitely shown some love to that part of me that held onto the shame and guilt. Gratefully, I have worked through and released those old belief systems 🙏🏻
How in the world does a 'so called' religious educational institution report multiple deaths and not become investigated at the level of child abuse at the minimum? How could all those legally responsible parents, care takers not twig to these stories and then not complain to the authorities? Were they burying these dead children on the property or throwing bodies into a river? When are you going to report it?
www.theledger.com/story/news/2013/02/15/reform-home-for-girls-closes-after-years-of-wide-ranging-allegations/26770377007/
Thank you. - I don't know how I missed this.
Man, Ashley totally blew me away. What an absolutely incredible human being!! We need more healed, ipen and vulnerable humans on this planet! ❤❤❤
Agreed!
Aww thank you so much!! That felt so good to receive 🫂
Thank you Ashley for sharing your story! ❤
I thought this was Kaley Cuco at first. So well spoken
Thanks!
Thank you!
@51:00 so true, you cant compare trauma like that, "someone else's cancer doesnt take away the pain in your broken leg" its different, but its valid pain
This is horrifying! I’m so sorry a place like this exists! Thank u for sharing
I want a world for our children, where this is NOT HAPPENING anymore.
This girl makes so much sense . She is remarkable and helping us know we are okay. That's the best gift a person can give. Thank you. I'm 75 years old and you helped me.
Appalling the harm so called religious can do
Dictatorial ppl can call it any name that sounds nice
Thank you so much for being brave enough to come and talk to us, I'm sure the rest of your journey will be amazing
I never went to one of these schools but I still resonated with a lot of what was shared in this one. Thank you both for presenting this story.
One of the most moving stories. You are incredible, truly. I hope to make peace with myself in the same way you do and continue to do
That was fantastic, thank you for sharing! Yes, resonated for years back through the present. I want to cry regarding loving oneself and being softer and affirming to oneself that the emotions are ok and valid and have a reason (more digging required regarding myself).
Thank you for sharing your story with us Ashley. It always warms my heart when I hear other survivors of abuse coming home to themselves. Solidarity xx
Thank you for sharing your story.
I had 'not that bad' compared to others. But I've learned too.
Your trauma was traumatic to you. It's not the the trauma olympics.
The healing is the point.
This video was SO impactful. Thank you for sharing 🩵
I went to public school in the 60s and 70s. My home life was constant abuse therefore I became an easy target for bullies, even bully teachers. Just watching these shows bring back memories that make me think...hey that was diffinitly wrong, why didn't anyone do or say anything? I'm glad things are changing for the kids today.
I near broke down hearing " I am learning how to be my own best friend". Seems so simple, but absolutely SO powerful. Thank you to Ashley & thank you for this podcast. I am unfortunately not able to make the Costa Rica trip, it looks amazing. I hope you continue to do this in the future!
Much love & hugs from Ont, Canada.
What an amazing interview….I don’t even know where to begin but Ashley you are an AMAZING human!
🙌
The way yall are talking about the being victimized and being a victim is valid is so wonderful to hear. You are also survivors and have come so far. I love that has been said. ❤
This conversation hit me in so many ways. I’ve gotten to a point in my life that I am able to tell my mom things that hurt me when I was growing up. Her response is, “Well, we can’t go back and change it.” My response is, “No, but I felt at the time I couldn’t voice how I felt, and now I know that even though it’s in the past, I can still share how those actions hurt me.” I have a voice that I can now use that I didn’t know I had as a child.
What a great way to express that to her
Thank you so much Ashley for your enourmous courage to share your horrendous experience from this camp and abuse 🙏❤️❤️❤️
I am so shaken to even hear that those places exist, can’t even find words!!
You are a true hero, and sharing your experience is for sure helping many more to dare opening up! 🤗❤️
Thank you so much Shelise for givning Asley and so many more a voice out in the world! ❤❤
Thank you Ashley for sharing your experiences. Shelise you are awesome for allowing others the space to share their experiences. From a therapist lense it is important to acknowledge your experiences and how they affect you on a continuous basis.
Thank you so much!
I am just at the beginning but that literally broke my heart. That is torture. These people need to be locked up! Sending you so much love and healing. I will edit if I have anything else to say! ❤❤❤❤❤ Why is it that when i hear them say they got "saved" I know it's going downhill? Btw i prefer to say i am a survivor! You were victimized but now you are a survivor. Power to Survivors!
I thought that too. Like that should be a sign something is wrong, that life gets significantly worse in your family when a parent gets saved
@@Jessicad9304 it's a shame.. hope you have a wonderful day ❤️
I feel so connected to Ashley.
Her trauma journey and appreciation for nature feel so similar to me.
Thank you for bringing her into your show. I needed to hear her journey today. 💕
Thank you for sharing. I did not know what went on in places such as in the one you experienced. It's wrong. You share wisdom and healing that can help many. You are strong!
Wow what a wonderful interview. The interviewee was so graceful and articulate. My heart goes out to her. I respect and admire the amount of work she has obviously done to get herself to her current mindset. What a wonderful outcome for such a beautiful person. Thanks for sharing
I was in one of these places. It was called victorious valley homes in South Carolina. I have so much trauma and so many nightmares still years later from that place.
Exactly, Ashley...acknowleding the past helps your navigate the present. Good for you!
Oh my, what an inspirational, loving person! I'll have to rewatch the later part several times and take notes. I whish you very well and more healing and just everything good on your path!
Thankyou for a great interview Shelise❤ &thankyou for your story Ashley ,you did great & it was really interesting and I'm glad your OK now,oh yes &I love feeding squirrels also 😅❤ all the way from 🇬🇧x🌞🌞🌞
I have heard clients telling me similar stuff in healing the inner child in my 23 years expereince as a therapist ... you so need to heal the fragmented aspects of you from this trauma... So much love to you both... as you disassociate at the time to survive, but now is the time to heal the inner you. Great that you're speaking out Ashley .Wonder sharing xxx
My brother is more fundamentalist christian than I'm comfortable with and he still made sure I had vegan food at his wedding
I was also in a culty behavioral modification program as a teen. It was one of the wwasp programs featured in the Netflix docu "the program: cons, cults, and kidnapping." It was weird because most/many of the admin/staff were mormon, and i was raised Mormon... It was strange to sit at that crossroads.
We are hoping to cover that soon!
@@CultstoConsciousness I'm in LA for the next month, would do an interview!
I second Ashley's closing statements, this podcast has been a great help personally to process my own trauma. Thanks for the episode!
😊🙏 so happy to hear that!
OMGAAA YOU WENT TO THE SCHOOL IN JAY, FL!!!! THAT IS LITERALLY 10 MIN FROM ME! I HAD NO IDEA THAT THIS PLACE EXISTED UNTIL IT WAS GOINE!!
Greetings from germany. Love to all survivors. Thank u for sharing your story. Btw what we all seem to forget is, that u can´t be a survivor with beeing a victim first.
Having had anxiety my whole life and trauma from living with a very narcissistic parent, I can identify with a lot feelings here and appreciate the insight. Thanks so much ❤
I just started listening - literally in the intro right now, and I'm already furious with the punishment those awful "leaders" implemented! That being said, I'll probably comment again.