I grew up in what seemed like a "normal" family, but in reality, my parents were neglectful, and my sister was openly hostile-both verbally and, at times, physically. There was no one to protect me or to truly understand what I was going through. As a result, my coping mechanism became idealizing them, seeing them as better than they actually were. This has affected my ability to form healthy friendships for decades. It's terrible what these defenses do to us, especially when we're not even aware of the shield we've built around ourselves. I'm realizing at this very moment that I lift this shield the very moment I meet someone who is willing to give me acceptable kind of attention and be potentially my friend. Potentially is the key word. I look at them through this filter and later on when I realize that they are not what I wanted them to be, I get angry with them. And it's not their fault. Also, when it comes to my family I made myself "bad", doing things that I wasn't supposed to, not to get their attention as much I wanted to meet them in the middle and be more like them in order to get closer to them. Pretty screwed up, but probably not that uncommon... Thank you so much for sharing your work and insights with us, I feel like I had a great conversation which helped me to get clarity about myself and my patterns. Ευχαριστώ πολύ!
What's worse, is that we can't ever see them as they really are, even if we listen to them and accept their truth. No one can see your true self. No one can see your "naked" soul!
This hits home, and is why I stayed with my ex so long... until I woke up to the reality, and why he's my ex! Since then, I constantly try to show up as I truly am, and to pay attention to when I'm hoping someone is a certain way, versus accepting who they are presenting to be. Great topic!💜
My mom would do things like celebrate my birthday and invite my family over from time to time but weird things would happen like being the only one left out of family events.
Id make all kinds of excuses for it in my mind and had a bit of a mental breakdown over it during which she told me to "Go to the hospital". I've been bitching her out since.
Always projecting my good intentions and honesty on to people who were cynical and hateful
I grew up in what seemed like a "normal" family, but in reality, my parents were neglectful, and my sister was openly hostile-both verbally and, at times, physically. There was no one to protect me or to truly understand what I was going through. As a result, my coping mechanism became idealizing them, seeing them as better than they actually were. This has affected my ability to form healthy friendships for decades. It's terrible what these defenses do to us, especially when we're not even aware of the shield we've built around ourselves.
I'm realizing at this very moment that I lift this shield the very moment I meet someone who is willing to give me acceptable kind of attention and be potentially my friend. Potentially is the key word. I look at them through this filter and later on when I realize that they are not what I wanted them to be, I get angry with them. And it's not their fault. Also, when it comes to my family I made myself "bad", doing things that I wasn't supposed to, not to get their attention as much I wanted to meet them in the middle and be more like them in order to get closer to them. Pretty screwed up, but probably not that uncommon...
Thank you so much for sharing your work and insights with us, I feel like I had a great conversation which helped me to get clarity about myself and my patterns.
Ευχαριστώ πολύ!
What's worse, is that we can't ever see them as they really are, even if we listen to them and accept their truth. No one can see your true self. No one can see your "naked" soul!
I would agree with that, we are probably meant to project since that is what we do for our own experience and evolution
@@delaney_defoe1985yall are just justifying narcissism
Whoa! Thank you for the clarity and reality check
This hits home, and is why I stayed with my ex so long... until I woke up to the reality, and why he's my ex! Since then, I constantly try to show up as I truly am, and to pay attention to when I'm hoping someone is a certain way, versus accepting who they are presenting to be. Great topic!💜
I enjoy listening to you, you have a really sophisticated voice and way of expressing yourself
Yea, thanks
Thank you
Such a wonderful message! I wish I knew this years ago.
Thank you ❤
Just what I needed to hear ❤ I loved your tik tok videos - deleted the app because I am addicted. Glad you are here 🎉🎉🎉
Thank you Girl! 🙏😌💜
Always so much wisdom from you KE
My mom would do things like celebrate my birthday and invite my family over from time to time but weird things would happen like being the only one left out of family events.
Id make all kinds of excuses for it in my mind and had a bit of a mental breakdown over it during which she told me to "Go to the hospital". I've been bitching her out since.
Wow, that was a really good video, thank you so much for sharing!
One minute in and yes! You are slaying the truth!
Riiiight (they are still projecting something)