Coping with Infertility and Loss

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  • Опубліковано 29 сер 2024
  • Their struggle with infertility threatened to tear Monica and her husband apart, but the birth of their first baby and the loss of their second brought them together in ways they couldn’t have imagined.
    Several years after trying to conceive a baby, the couple had Max. They call him a miracle, in every sense of the word. A few years later, they tried to have more children and faced disappointment again. With the help of fertility treatment, however, Monica became pregnant with a little girl. Weeks later, at what Monica hoped would be a routine checkup, she and her husband learned that the baby’s heart wasn’t beating.
    “I remember I could hear myself crying loudly, and I heard by husband start to cry,” Monica shares. “In that exact moment… I felt my Savior literally scoop me up in His arms.”
    Monica delivered her baby and the family held an intimate funeral in her honor. Since that day, they have worked together to navigate life after tragedy. Even after her heartbreaking experience, Monica feels peace and gratitude.
    “I am so grateful for a Savior who loves us so much,” she explains. “He allows us to hurt so that He can heal us and put us together better than we were before. I think that is the definition of the Savior’s grace.”
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 45

  • @MedievalMary
    @MedievalMary 5 років тому +8

    After years of infertility and my still born son, this video is something I have been searching for. Thank you. I wish this topic was something the church would address more often.

  • @7ajhubbell
    @7ajhubbell 7 років тому +34

    "He allows us to hurt so that He can put us back better than we were before."
    Thank you and bless you,

  • @SarahBaird-io2tn
    @SarahBaird-io2tn 4 роки тому +8

    I have Turner Syndrome, so I've known I've been infertile my whole life. However, as I get older it's really starting to sink in. Thank you for this.

    • @churchofjesuschrist
      @churchofjesuschrist  4 роки тому +3

      Thanks for sharing your comment. We're glad you appreciated the video!

  • @liahonagirl
    @liahonagirl 7 років тому +20

    I'm so glad to see the Church post this video. So often, I see media and articles produced by the Church about infertility and they all seem to have 'happy endings' where the couple is miraculously able to get pregnant after the infertility or how they're able to adopt and such. This family's story is so important because it teaches us that for the families who do not get their 'happily ever after' with the family size they dream about in this lifetime, the Gospel is still true, the Saviour still brings His peace and grace to our lives.
    My own infertility journey of 15+ years has included many years of heartbreak when month after month I'm *not* pregnant, a failed adoption placement, and finally the peace that only Father and the Saviour can give that while I will always desire the blessing of having more children, that God has a perfect plan for the size of my family, and even though that's one child versus the many my husband and I wanted to have, His grace is sufficient for our heartache, and we can walk forward in His plan for our lives, knowing that it is enough.

    • @BlimpMcGee
      @BlimpMcGee 6 років тому

      Thanks for sharing that

  • @edvaldooliveiramelo
    @edvaldooliveiramelo 7 років тому +8

    My dream was having 6 children, but having just 1, would be a great miracle for this time. I'm married for 17 years and this is a great challenge in my life. I love so much my special wife. Life give us a lot surprise.

  • @tylerb.9987
    @tylerb.9987 7 років тому +11

    While my wife and I have not struggled with infertility, we did have a stillborn child last year. He was 37 weeks along and when we went in for an ultrasound they told us the same thing, "There is no heartbeat." I had just walked in to the room from running errands with our 5-year old daughter when they told my wife and I that. He had just been moving the day before, so this came as a shock. Watching this felt so much like our situation. We had a service and our little Michael was buried. It has been just over a year and it still hurts.
    We miss our little son. We loved him. This video helped. Thank you.

    • @themamamonka
      @themamamonka 7 років тому +4

      I can't imagine being so close to delivering and experiencing the loss. Our little Lucy was 24 weeks. I'm so glad this video could help in some small way. I expect that it will always hurt and I know we will always miss them, but I can't help but think how lucky we are to be able to miss such perfect little ones. Painful, yes, but better that we have the opportunity to have them be a part of our lives. We will see them again.

    • @garrettpeterson4293
      @garrettpeterson4293 6 років тому

      I'm sorry for your loss, but I echo the words of Monica in saying, you will see your little Michael again! Are you very religious Tyler and do you believe God has a plan for you and your family?

  • @Kripplex1
    @Kripplex1 7 років тому +28

    This video came out on the due date of my miscarried baby. There is no way thats a coincidence.

    • @danielsalmon3909
      @danielsalmon3909 5 років тому +2

      I'm so sorry for your loss just remember the Lord is always with you

    • @Cimfamlover
      @Cimfamlover 5 років тому +3

      1 like equals one prayer my prayers our with you I’m 14 and you are loved by many : for god so loved the world he gave is only begotten son he is risen

  • @davidbrenchley
    @davidbrenchley 7 років тому +5

    We had a miscarriage with the first pregnancy. In the second pregnancy 20 years ago, we were told that we had conjoined twins. They were joined at the chest and abdomen sharing a 5-chambered heart, a liver and possibly other organs. My wife delivered at 8 months and they only lived for a few moments without giving a cry. Words cannot describe what we went through, but our Savior was there and we received his comfort. We had the constant companionship of the holy ghost. Absolutely constant. Even when I would awake in the middle of the night, he was there. It wasn't like I would awake and then he would come and comfort. He was already there watching over us even as we slept.
    After all these years and though I would never want to go through it again, I am grateful for the experience and I am glad God did not take that trial away. It changed me to my core and I am still learning and growing from it.
    "He allows us to hurt so that He can put us back better than we were before."

  • @Lilborrego
    @Lilborrego 7 років тому +10

    "He allows us to hurt so that he can heal us and put us together better than we were before." I love this. It's so true! Trials are tests of faith, strength, and trust. If you let Him, he will help you see it through His eyes. Let Him in.

    • @kirbyawesome5077
      @kirbyawesome5077 7 років тому

      Hannah Borrego Gilmore I totally agree with you!

  • @danielketcham3261
    @danielketcham3261 7 років тому +8

    This video made me cry

  • @rachelmackenzie8
    @rachelmackenzie8 7 років тому +1

    This video has been shared with me a few times now as this story is similar to mine. In January this year I miscarried my first pregnancy at 10 weeks. And on August 21 I delivered my stillborn son. We had a small service and balloon release. I am so grateful for The Plan and Jesus Christ. I love that the church is releasing videos that are touching on different types of infertility and not necessarily painting the happy ending we would expect but rather teaching about His Grace through painful times. I also wear a necklace with my sons name engraved on it. You are with us forever, little Benjamin.

  • @angelenapulis9083
    @angelenapulis9083 6 років тому +2

    This is beautiful. Thank you so much for having the bravery to share your story.

  • @zaramarland8402
    @zaramarland8402 6 років тому +3

    Thank you for sharing your story. It just opened my eyes to how blessed I really am, Thank you again.

  • @karenvanessan.2000
    @karenvanessan.2000 6 років тому +1

    Thank you for sharing this. I lost my pregnancy at only 10 weeks. I still can't understand why this happened to me if we wanted a baby so much and this was our first baby. When it finally happened I was so happy but then when I lost it I couldn't help to feel angry, jelaous and mad a God. I'm still struggling with those feelings sometimes even after2 months of my miscarriage.

  • @bisonuberti
    @bisonuberti 7 років тому +7

    We are so blessed that we have our Heavenly Fathers comfort in times of need and especially in times of mourning and sorrow. I thank Him for his Son Jesus Christ our Savior and Redeemer.

  • @callisyedita388
    @callisyedita388 6 років тому +1

    Healing doesn’t mean forgetting or making the memories insignificant. You may want to name your baby. Some women find comfort by doing something tangible like planting a tree. Selecting a special piece of jewelry with a birthstone, or donating to a charity. On the anniversary you may want to share a special time with your partner. Miscarriage is something that happened to you, not something you did. We always want to believe we are in control, even if it means punishing ourselves. The truth is, there’s very little about pregnancy loss that women are in control of. Biology takes over and in a way, you’re along for the ride. My doctor at Bio tex suggests trying to step back from the situation and asking yourself, “Would you want your best friend to blame herself? No. Treat yourself with the same kindness as those you love.” You partner may react to the loss in a surprising way, and you may not like it. Don’t expect your partner to deal with a miscarriage the same way as you. There isn’t one way to deal with grief, and punishing him for his won’t do any good. If it irks you that your man doesn’t cry and act depressed, remind yourself that it doesn’t mean he’s uncaring. He’s probably just dealing with things in a different way.

  • @soupdancer17
    @soupdancer17 7 років тому +2

    Who disliked this?!!??! Amazing video and thank you for sharing something so personal. This made me cry too!!

    • @RisdonSharp
      @RisdonSharp 7 років тому

      Even the most well received videos have some dislikes. As someone who personally has given a lot of time to faithful believes, only to come to the clear understanding that faith like this belongs to those who cannot rationalise loss without the promise of some divine justification. If her pregnancy was successful she would have praised God, but it failed and she still thanked God for comfort instead. Ad if she lost her first child, she would still find a reason to praise God. I don't see the hand of a loving God, only a woman who lost her child and then claws for comfort in the knowledge that there might be a god who wants her to feel comforted despite her lose

    • @garrettpeterson4293
      @garrettpeterson4293 6 років тому

      Risdon, I can testify to you that faith is not a desperate plea for justification and comfort in life from an unknown source. Yes, faith is a belief in that which is not seen which is true. Just because we haven't seen God however does not mean that we can't feel of His presence and love. In the same way that a physically blind person can know when someone is near by listening to their voice, we to have the capability of feeling of God's presence in our lives. Faith, like love, is not blind, but a response of gratitude for someone who has shown us love first. God loves us greatly. He is our eternal Heavenly Father. Just because God is there does not mean we are promised a life of bliss and happiness while in this life. God sent us here to learn and grow and we can't do either of those if we never face adversity. That doesn't mean that God won't reach out His hand to help us though when we are in times of need. We show gratitude to Him for all that He has given us, but yet we turn to Him when we need help, because He is a Father, and that is what good fathers do for their children. Just like our earthly fathers, we don't blame them for every bad thing that happens in our life, so why would we do that for God? He is not here to control our lives to make them full of sunshine, but as I said before, His glory is to see us grow into the beings He knows we can become. Trust in Him Risdon! He has your best interest at heart and is there for you!

    • @themamamonka
      @themamamonka 6 років тому +1

      This is my story. While you are very correct that I would have praised God had I been given the opportunity to deliver a healthy baby, I can assure you that my experience was not "clawing for comfort" or any act of desperation for that matter. It was a very real and undeniable experience with my Savior that I didn't expect nor go looking for, He came to me. I believe he does/will do this for all of us, but not everyone is willing to see it, or recognize it for what it is.

  • @noreenwawuda8973
    @noreenwawuda8973 6 років тому

    This is such a delicate topic. We have cases of people who are going through infertility and later had a miscarriage. This is one of the most painful things. When you finally get your prayers answered then the loss strikes you. I have been through the same road and to date I don’t have a child. But thanks to my clinic, Bio tex. They are really helping me to cope with my loss. I do believe that the next miracle will be here to stay. The important thing to remember is that mourning is a process that takes time. While some people are able to put aside their feelings and move on. Others find that they need weeks or even months to be able to fully function again. But until then, it's important to honor your feelings and to take the time you need to grieve. You might also be able to access bereavement counselling through your GP. There is support out there, but it will differ depending on where you live. Sometimes you need to explore all your options to find the best one for you.

  • @dontmindmejustpassingthrou5151
    @dontmindmejustpassingthrou5151 6 років тому +1

    I'm crying... That was beautiful God bless you

  • @coraltwen9137
    @coraltwen9137 6 років тому

    I wish all the couples looking for options to cope with infertility all the best. Never give up on a dream.
    I myself know how it’s hard to be inside such conditions and how it’s difficult to find an appropriate clinic to trust.
    I found mine in Ukraine. I hope this choice will close the history of my failures at last and I’ll be able to start a new one together with my husband and baby.

  • @aliceo851
    @aliceo851 7 років тому +1

    This is really deep! I love it.

  • @Freedom0rBust
    @Freedom0rBust 6 років тому

    God bless you and your husband.

  • @dakotabass4025
    @dakotabass4025 7 років тому +5

    I love this video so much it's talk about Jesus Christ blessed and i love lnstitutes going to church

  • @nicoleromero5974
    @nicoleromero5974 7 років тому +2

    Love this!

  • @MegWasHere2011
    @MegWasHere2011 Рік тому

    Great message

  • @happylatter-daysaint3503
    @happylatter-daysaint3503 7 років тому

    This is beautiful! I did a video about my own miscarriage last wk. It's a terrible thing to go through, but having the gospel of Jesus Christ does help heal our hearts!! And one day, one beautiful day, we will be reunited with our sweet babies and all our loved ones!! I know this is true!!❤❤❤

  • @kaylajackson8219
    @kaylajackson8219 6 років тому

    You are amazing this is amazing everyone is amazing. Lord god is there for everyone. Trust him with all your heart. That was an amazing idea for the funeral and he loves us all more than anything so just remember that nothing is in your way and that the lord is on your side with everything. He was there for this tragic time and he was the only one that was able to help. He helped because you loved him and had faith in him so he loved you back and gave you the faith hope and integrity to build courage. And the whole world was in your hands so you had power to make a blessing to the world that will be a helpful loving caring smart and amazing person who are you to let your faith drop. Hold on to the faith like a person about to fall of a bridge. You did. Look what happens. God is there for everyone even if you are not loving and horrible. And if you hate on other people. God still loves you and he will never ever see you as a bad horrible awful useless piece of nothing because you are amazing you have a talent and you do you so make the world proud and a better place. Because you can do that. Even if it is just you. You will make the world the best if you put your courage love help niceness and pure happiness the world will be the best ever seen. Thank you for bringing the message and love and this is for everyone so love you bye. 💝 from Kayla

  • @adamamedeshakanu7488
    @adamamedeshakanu7488 7 років тому

    Great video

  • @kendrabenson1310
    @kendrabenson1310 4 роки тому

    peace

  • @kiray1835
    @kiray1835 5 років тому

    i love You God and Jesus! Amen

  • @gavinpych5138
    @gavinpych5138 4 роки тому

    Jesus loves you! God bless! Amen!

  • @calilahwoods763
    @calilahwoods763 6 років тому +1

    Infertility is surely a monster. I have seen couples separate just because the woman could not give birth. But I tend to think that it is bad. The problem is not always faced by one party. This is a traditional mentality. Where men think that the problem is only faced by women alone. But these days we have men going through infertility. Actually we have some defects that are faced by majority of men. And with time things might even get worse. I am not wishing anything bad on the male fraternity. But with the lifestyle that people live in these days is so wanting. I’m bringing up this topic because while I was in Bio tex clinic I found a couple that had separated just because the woman could not give birth. But after in depth search the man was the one who was found with the problem.

  • @user-to2ut9vy6y
    @user-to2ut9vy6y 6 років тому

    😢

  • @kendrabenson1310
    @kendrabenson1310 4 роки тому

    cute