I learnt to play piano/keyboard at school. My school was quite arty so it was encouraged to learn an instrument. I learnt three chord for the keyboard at school with the rest of the class. After I left school I self-learnt piano/keyboard. I can’t read music but only play by ear. We were also taught to write songs as well.
I used to play electric guitar. I enjoy the fluidity of a good distorted guitar. When it comes to communication, I struggle with names, more than other people do. Sometimes if I'm tired, its really difficult to get anything out.
some days I communicate fine, other days I fumble words, words run into each other and I lose track of my thoughts. And on other days my mind feels like its numb, I have no thoughts and am too tired to speak, even just to answer questions it's an effort to put my thoughts into audible speech. I can tell this makes some people uncomfortable, maybe confuses them as initailly I seemed ok, maybe just nervous, but now I go for hours without speaking.. I think I confuse people because I'm ok an job interviews. Maybe even on the first day, Then i come on to the job and every one is chatting back and forth in the canteen at lunch and I sit there quitely. If someone has to spend the day working with me some days they might not get much conversation at all, other days I might be quite silly and playfull, it depends on my energy. I like the comment about roles being undefined. when I know what to do I'm confident, when Im not sure what to do, or if there is a quite day at work and people are sitting around chatting I feel lost, a wave of anxiety washes over me and I feel unsure of myself again.
Thanks for writing this, it's very interesting to compare experiences. I can relate to the not being sure what to do in small talk situations. How talkative I am also depends on mood so can relate to this too.
That's great that you liked and played the piano. I think that's such a great instrument, and you can play such different styles of music on it, depending on what you like. Thank you for answering my question. It was great to hear about it. It makes sense what you were talking about with communication. In a non-stressful, familiar area, you may do well, but in a different setting, you could just shut down, right? With me, I do well on my own. When I get around any people, I feel uncomfortable, and don't handle anything well, even if these people are extremely familiar to me. I've been called a misanthrope, but I think it goes deeper then that. That was interesting to hear that you take the lead with your social worker. I think that's the way to be, but I know I wouldn't be like that. I would always be uncomfortable with that person, and I would expect them to guide me. I LOVE subtitles, and use them on every single thing, so that was cool to hear about you wishing people had subtitles.
I understand the need for fingers in ears. I live in an apartment, and while its on the 50+ floor, I still have random banging(s) from people in other apartments, or scraping chairs on the floor. I find these noises very disturbing/distracting, annoying and anxiety inducing. When I have the window open, I can at times hear sounds from the ground below, these don't seem to bother me as much. I think this might be because I somewhat expect them, the only exception to that is when there is music on in the park or from buildings where the bass really irritates me, just as much as the random banging from within the building. I wish I had a solution to all of this, people say tune it out. Its impossible for me to tune anything out. Is this similar to how you find these distractions Anna? On Social, if its a social interaction where I'm meeting someone I don't know well, I will have a lot of difficulty to the point of I have no idea what we will talk about. I find these interactions quite strenuous, almost like I have to try to calculate everything about the interaction beforehand. If however the conversation takes up a topic that I have a deep interest in, the whole conversation/interaction becomes less stressful and I'm able to more easily enjoy the time. If I happen to be in an above social engagement, but have someone along with me that I know very well, this seems to make the whole situation a lot easier. I seem to be able to read people quite well, and have been told that I socialise well etc, but for me its quite a struggle, and draining. If I can make jokes and be a little funny, I think that's when I find it less stressful, when I was a child I was always the mischief maker/larrikin. Thanks for taking the time to make the video and share with us.
Yes, you describe very well what I experience regarding noise. I use white noise played through headphones when reading; the constant hum of the white noise somehow blocks the other noise and helps me focus, but this is a very individual thing as some people can't stand white noise. Also, I find it easier playing white noise because I am in control of the noise; it's noises I am not in control of, particularly in areas that I feel very protective about such as my flat, that upset me the most.
Thank you for this excellent description of the non-verbal aspects we struggle with 🙂
Thanks for watching, am very glad you liked it :)
nice video.. could understand some of myself in you here
I learnt to play piano/keyboard at school. My school was quite arty so it was encouraged to learn an instrument. I learnt three chord for the keyboard at school with the rest of the class. After I left school I self-learnt piano/keyboard. I can’t read music but only play by ear. We were also taught to write songs as well.
I used to play electric guitar. I enjoy the fluidity of a good distorted guitar. When it comes to communication, I struggle with names, more than other people do. Sometimes if I'm tired, its really difficult to get anything out.
some days I communicate fine, other days I fumble words, words run into each other and I lose track of my thoughts. And on other days my mind feels like its numb, I have no thoughts and am too tired to speak, even just to answer questions it's an effort to put my thoughts into audible speech. I can tell this makes some people uncomfortable, maybe confuses them as initailly I seemed ok, maybe just nervous, but now I go for hours without speaking..
I think I confuse people because I'm ok an job interviews. Maybe even on the first day, Then i come on to the job and every one is chatting back and forth in the canteen at lunch and I sit there quitely. If someone has to spend the day working with me some days they might not get much conversation at all, other days I might be quite silly and playfull, it depends on my energy.
I like the comment about roles being undefined. when I know what to do I'm confident, when Im not sure what to do, or if there is a quite day at work and people are sitting around chatting I feel lost, a wave of anxiety washes over me and I feel unsure of myself again.
Thanks for writing this, it's very interesting to compare experiences. I can relate to the not being sure what to do in small talk situations. How talkative I am also depends on mood so can relate to this too.
That's great that you liked and played the piano. I think that's such a great instrument, and you can play such different styles of music on it, depending on what you like. Thank you for answering my question. It was great to hear about it. It makes sense what you were talking about with communication. In a non-stressful, familiar area, you may do well, but in a different setting, you could just shut down, right? With me, I do well on my own. When I get around any people, I feel uncomfortable, and don't handle anything well, even if these people are extremely familiar to me. I've been called a misanthrope, but I think it goes deeper then that. That was interesting to hear that you take the lead with your social worker. I think that's the way to be, but I know I wouldn't be like that. I would always be uncomfortable with that person, and I would expect them to guide me. I LOVE subtitles, and use them on every single thing, so that was cool to hear about you wishing people had subtitles.
Yes I use subtitles wherever that option is available, they're great!!
I understand the need for fingers in ears. I live in an apartment, and while its on the 50+ floor, I still have random banging(s) from people in other apartments, or scraping chairs on the floor. I find these noises very disturbing/distracting, annoying and anxiety inducing. When I have the window open, I can at times hear sounds from the ground below, these don't seem to bother me as much. I think this might be because I somewhat expect them, the only exception to that is when there is music on in the park or from buildings where the bass really irritates me, just as much as the random banging from within the building. I wish I had a solution to all of this, people say tune it out. Its impossible for me to tune anything out. Is this similar to how you find these distractions Anna?
On Social, if its a social interaction where I'm meeting someone I don't know well, I will have a lot of difficulty to the point of I have no idea what we will talk about. I find these interactions quite strenuous, almost like I have to try to calculate everything about the interaction beforehand. If however the conversation takes up a topic that I have a deep interest in, the whole conversation/interaction becomes less stressful and I'm able to more easily enjoy the time. If I happen to be in an above social engagement, but have someone along with me that I know very well, this seems to make the whole situation a lot easier.
I seem to be able to read people quite well, and have been told that I socialise well etc, but for me its quite a struggle, and draining. If I can make jokes and be a little funny, I think that's when I find it less stressful, when I was a child I was always the mischief maker/larrikin.
Thanks for taking the time to make the video and share with us.
Yes, you describe very well what I experience regarding noise. I use white noise played through headphones when reading; the constant hum of the white noise somehow blocks the other noise and helps me focus, but this is a very individual thing as some people can't stand white noise. Also, I find it easier playing white noise because I am in control of the noise; it's noises I am not in control of, particularly in areas that I feel very protective about such as my flat, that upset me the most.