5 Ways People Manipulate You (And How to Resist Them)

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  • Опубліковано 1 січ 2025

КОМЕНТАРІ • 306

  • @Thomasfrank
    @Thomasfrank  3 роки тому +51

    🦙 There's a bonus section for this video on Nebula covering one additional manipulation tactic! Check out the Nebula + CuriosityStream bundle to watch that version ad-free: curiositystream.com/thomas
    🧐 One point we cut from the script for time: Persuasion isn't always unethical. When we dress up for job interviews, we're projecting authority. Persuasion coupled with a true belief that your idea, service, or product will help your audience is great - we have to use persuasion to cut through all of life's other noise. However, when these tactics are used to push people in a direction that's against their best interests, that's when they become unethical. By learning how to divorce the merits of the message from the persuasion tactics, you'll be better at understanding when that's happening.
    ❓ What's an example of a persuasion tactic that I didn't mention in the video? Feel free to point out any that I use if you like 😛

    • @xWickedPlansx
      @xWickedPlansx 3 роки тому

      Why don't you put the Nebula link in your email?

    • @notthatlame
      @notthatlame 3 роки тому +1

      Hey Thomas, don´t know if you actually play pokemon Go, but would you like to be friends on the game?

    • @sissi007bm
      @sissi007bm 3 роки тому

      I would LOVE to join Nebula. Unfortunately, it doesn’t accept PayPal as payment method and I don‘t have a credit card (it is not usual to have one in Germany 🇩🇪)

    • @Maal1981
      @Maal1981 3 роки тому

      I guess I am very fillable. I probably am manipulated all the time. I am confused a little. There is another very popular youtube. Rhett and I know he was just joking but he said the if you like then click like, but then threw in there that comments are not needed but we don't need the validation. So ever since then I want to say something but then change my mind. I am not saying anything negative about the show at all. I guess he is right. I am thankful you said to comment so I didn't have to think. Permission was give. Anyways I really enjoyed your show and content. Have a great day

  • @MarySpender
    @MarySpender 3 роки тому +311

    Thumbnail Perfection.

    • @Thomasfrank
      @Thomasfrank  3 роки тому +24

      Simon made it!

    • @najrenchelf2751
      @najrenchelf2751 3 роки тому +2

      Oh hello Mary :)

    • @disciplinado2190
      @disciplinado2190 3 роки тому +5

      There is a genocide happening. The Chinese government is killing the Uyghurs. The world is silent about it, yet globally it has been recognized as a genocide. Stop buying products in China and start taking action to see change. It’s ethnic cleansing. We can do better.

  • @kH-bv8ix
    @kH-bv8ix 3 роки тому +10

    A common red flag I experienced with a particular business person was ALWAYS answering a question with a question. (This is business related) I'm good with clarification but I finally tested my suspicions of being manipulated over a very simple subject, not business related. I reversed his own manipulation tactic on him and we had a "manipulation stand off". I finally conceded to see his response. He never spoke to me again. These are great tools to add to my toolbox. Thanks.

  • @Lana-ld8vo
    @Lana-ld8vo 3 роки тому +58

    I feel like I can often tell when a person is trying to manipulate me. The sense of authenticity and closeness is usually missing and that is detectable.

    • @LukeSumIpsePatremTe
      @LukeSumIpsePatremTe 3 роки тому +22

      Often, yes. But that is in no way bullet-proof way to detect manipulation.

    • @kronos5641
      @kronos5641 3 роки тому

      @@LukeSumIpsePatremTe well i am a bit like him and i think i can see all the points he talked about in this video unconsciously on habit so i can tell if a person is trying to manipulate me without even consciously thinking, it just strikes in the brain that this person's kinda sus

  • @taabishkhanself-improvemen7331
    @taabishkhanself-improvemen7331 3 роки тому +15

    *"Sometimes you don't even realise you're blocking your own blessings by holding onto the past or thinking negatively. Start letting go."*
    Love from a small channel

  • @tpeasetiger
    @tpeasetiger 3 роки тому +39

    If Thomas Frank ever has kids, he’ll have to put an asterisk at the bottom of his outros that says “unless you actually are my children watching. In which case, why aren’t you doing your homework?”

  • @rva
    @rva 3 роки тому +24

    Just watched your skill share course 💯👍 thank you!! You're amazing. Great video

    • @disciplinado2190
      @disciplinado2190 3 роки тому +1

      There is a genocide happening. The Chinese government is killing the Uyghurs. The world is silent about it, yet globally it has been recognized as a genocide. Stop buying products in China and start taking action to see change. It’s ethnic cleansing. We can do better.

  • @Cationna
    @Cationna 3 роки тому +18

    I absolutely hate knowing I'm being manipulated; I'm ashamed and embarrassed for that person, and yet that doesn't make it any easier for me to get out of doing what they want me to. If it's an ad or an app, I have no problem cutting that short; if it's a person, hoo boy, that gets awkward. It's as obviously as the nose on their face, and yet I can't say anything.
    Yeah, I come from a manipulative and psychologically abusive household and have next to zero assertiveness. Recognising certain things doesn't automatically equal being able to deal with them. But it's certainly a crucial first step.

    • @CassieWinter
      @CassieWinter 3 роки тому +5

      Agreed. Awareness is great, but boundary work is the real gold. I'm sorry you grew up in an abusive household too. Learning how to set boundaries has been a long and hard road, and I'm nowhere near perfect, bit it's been worth it to keep going.

    • @TheKarebear666
      @TheKarebear666 3 роки тому +2

      I'm finding therapy is helping me set better boundaries and helping to build my innate confidence. You can do it!

  • @AngDevigne
    @AngDevigne 3 роки тому +10

    Love the work and all the nuances y'all put into this video!
    Some favorite aesthetic moments:
    - the ongoing Ratatouille example
    - Tom popping into a suit reverse- Clark Kent/genie/wizard style
    - the family being casually shown as two dudes and a baby (we really need more examples of family structures that aren't just mom/dad/kids and I appreciate you choosing to use this particular clip from the stock photo site)
    Awesome work as always my dude!

  • @ShuriBear
    @ShuriBear 3 роки тому +12

    I love the authority one so much. It's the one most people tend to forget and assume they have our best interests at heart.

  • @trevorfranks69
    @trevorfranks69 3 роки тому +44

    Both of my parents does this negatively to each other and their kids (me and my siblings) for the last 20 years. Guess where that led us? A really bitter divorce and three suicidal dropouts.

    • @goldfishyum
      @goldfishyum 3 роки тому +5

      I totally feel you 😭 I hope you can become stronger from this! We can't choose our family, but we can choose our own actions

    • @MC22Scott
      @MC22Scott 3 роки тому +2

      You should look at the subreddit Raised by Narcissists. It could help you and your siblings draw healthy boundaries.

  • @Murk.mp4
    @Murk.mp4 3 роки тому +1

    I love how you are trying to apply the things you've said in the video and test us with the sponsor. The writing of this is one of your best!

  • @enigma7385
    @enigma7385 3 роки тому +29

    "We often place trust in the symbols of authority"
    *The Falcon and the winter soldier music starts*

  • @TheArtisticBiker
    @TheArtisticBiker 3 роки тому +23

    I've been in executive sales for the last ten years. Taking people out to a meal, playing golf, gifting them with calendars, pens, and hats, making notes in Notion about their birthdays, family information, favorite sporting teams... as well as teaching classes about the products I sold to establish myself as an expert on the subject. The only thing I didn't do was fake the relationships. If we didn't hit it off, there was really no reason for me to call on you. I do probably need better suits though.

    • @wakygee
      @wakygee 3 роки тому

      Who are you trying to convince those aren't fake relationships? I'm nice to people and get along great with a lot of people but I don't want to sell them anything.

    • @TheArtisticBiker
      @TheArtisticBiker 3 роки тому +5

      @@wakygee I no longer work in sales and I still play pool and golf, text, go out, send, and receive Christmas cards from the people who were my former customers.

  • @jaimetan
    @jaimetan 3 роки тому +7

    Ooh! Definitely gonna check this book out. Great to see you posting again!

  • @christiana.1204
    @christiana.1204 3 роки тому +26

    When looking at the thumbnail, all I can picture is NSYNC’s Bye Bye Bye 😂

  • @CassieWinter
    @CassieWinter 3 роки тому +6

    I really like how you explain these topics. Would also love a video in the future where you get into the difference between unethical manipulation vs ethical manipulation (what I would call persuasion). As a coach and entrepreneur who find so much meaning in truly helping their clients, being mindful about how I do my marketing is really important to me.

    • @Tom-Travels
      @Tom-Travels Рік тому

      As a Borderline Narcissist... I can tell you that I use P.I.M.A.C. to get money, time, and resources from my targets at work and at home. Power, Influence, Manipulation, Authority, and Control. PIMAC. I've been mastering it for more than 20 years. It works great.

  • @syahdinaalamsyah4930
    @syahdinaalamsyah4930 3 роки тому +1

    Nice insight.
    Own my side, its so complicated to scan every motive of good deed people did to us. Some are sincere, many are 'no free lunch'. For me we must be clear about our objective, our need, and the readyness to pay for every option we choice in life ( risk is a must). Be smart, but stay open mind. Avoid over reacted, over excited, take controll of your self

  • @fathmariyadghan728
    @fathmariyadghan728 3 роки тому +3

    Mahn u nailed at makimg the thumbnail.... Creativity on another lvl🌟👍

  • @MrAlexGreen.
    @MrAlexGreen. 3 роки тому +5

    Your videos are class. So glad I found this channel 👏

  • @ishantsingh3366
    @ishantsingh3366 3 роки тому +2

    Thomas using his "Authority" to get inside our minds and guiding it...always loving his content though !

  • @shivanichaudhary7605
    @shivanichaudhary7605 3 роки тому +2

    It's great to see some different topic in this video. I really loved the content, references you have used, your presentation and you in the suit ❤️ Eagerly waiting for more such videos!!

  • @Mikesco3
    @Mikesco3 3 роки тому +2

    Cults almost always use these to the max, and there are religious, commercial and even political cults... It is very good to become aware of this

  • @NandyzSoulshine
    @NandyzSoulshine 3 роки тому +2

    Likability...liking or the desire to be liked seems to be one of the fixtures in every aspect of our life we try to improve ...maybe that's the reason why it's not always easy to see when people are trying to manipulate us 💡

  • @kanekirm
    @kanekirm 3 роки тому +62

    I don't know why but I got pursuaded to clicking this video 🤣

  • @masumtube1
    @masumtube1 3 роки тому +3

    I think these is how we human emotions work, it’s like a circle everybody gets manipulated or manipulates nobody can entirely defend these 360 degree. But we can be bit alert by self awareness.

  • @makecowsnotwar
    @makecowsnotwar 3 роки тому +1

    Graeber's book on debt is BASED. My mind was blown with every page I read. Completely shifted the way I perceive the world.

  • @Recomeçar-Denovo
    @Recomeçar-Denovo 3 роки тому +1

    Great great video, well done and well edited, thanks m8, lot of effort you put there, and i see it

  • @51monw
    @51monw 3 роки тому +1

    Coffee making machine manufacturer would put attractive persuasive women (and occasionally men) to sell their coffee maker by making you a cup of coffee in the store. Their flaw was to rotate the person every week, so I'd get my coffee in the coffee maker store every Saturday, and get a different pitch for the same coffee maker. It made great coffee, but used those expensive refill cartridges.

  • @Makeso565
    @Makeso565 3 роки тому +1

    Ive been watching thomas franks videos for a while now his videos have been useful and high quality lately

  • @plottedbyfalak
    @plottedbyfalak 3 роки тому

    Ugh all your videos are amazing

  • @CaptainBobSim
    @CaptainBobSim 3 роки тому +1

    Nice use of authority using the suit for your sales pitch 😂
    Your videos are awesome!

  • @thomas.02
    @thomas.02 3 роки тому

    there's also this tactic that I've seen somewhere before, not sure if it fits into the 5 categories you've mentioned:
    since people want to be viewed a certain way by others, want to maintain an image, that can be manipulated by things such as
    "you'd do this if you were a real man" or "that's not how rich people behave" or something to that effect
    the funny story here is "me and the boys" were at a spicy ramen shop and there's this spoonful of concentrated hot sauce on the table. One of my friends said "if you were a real man you'd eat this hot sauce", none of us took that dare seriously except this one poor guy who actually went and ate it lol. The whole thing was out of good fun but I think it still makes a good example.

  • @MindJoBizness
    @MindJoBizness 3 роки тому +1

    9:30 dan(g), thomas really lok'd it down with that point

    • @floralics
      @floralics 3 роки тому

      ha ha! have been waiting for this cm mate

  • @heeteshdoorbiz
    @heeteshdoorbiz 3 роки тому

    I like how you tried to manipulate me into subscribing for Nebula right after you finished talking about the tactics.

  • @IsaacJoshi
    @IsaacJoshi 3 роки тому +46

    I feel like the thumbnail manipulated me to click on this video 😩

  • @carolineyalda625
    @carolineyalda625 3 роки тому

    The contrasting principle is the big one, depending on what was shown or given 1st it can affect your decision on sequential options.

  • @DeerghKataria
    @DeerghKataria 3 роки тому +1

    Thumbnail Looks Perfect!!!

  • @TIOLIOfficial
    @TIOLIOfficial 3 роки тому +1

    This is such a great video.

  • @SkyeBlu
    @SkyeBlu 3 роки тому

    Pixel llama with Thomas hopping on screen!! I really enjoy that touch on the intro.
    Great video too! I believe you've talked about this in your podcast too if I remember correctly.

  • @stanleytran1
    @stanleytran1 3 роки тому +1

    Totally unrelated, but your videos helped me get through college and I just wanted to say thank you.

    • @andrewxu3602
      @andrewxu3602 8 місяців тому

      That doesn't sound unrelated at all, that sounds incredibly relevant. :)

  • @novdeepsingh002d2
    @novdeepsingh002d2 3 роки тому +1

    Very educational as usual

  • @kateriname2075
    @kateriname2075 2 роки тому

    One more means of manipulations is guilt. The person makes you feel guilty in one way or another. So e.g. for the car dealer, if you basically refuse to buy the huge luxury car they may throw in something like "i suppose you do not want to treat your kids with comfort" but in a more cunning and hidden way (i am not good at manipulating to explain this better) .. Another example a clothes seller "you could also buy the matching jacket to have the perfect outfit" and then you feel guilty for not having the ability to afford the matching jacket.. and so on.

  • @conquererme
    @conquererme 3 роки тому

    Thomas, this video is so good I want to make notes.

  • @pickinodenero9593
    @pickinodenero9593 3 роки тому

    really genius to explain the scarecity part by using it on the spot

  • @KironKabir
    @KironKabir 3 роки тому +6

    If Red ever showed up, then yes, he would manipulate me into buying fancy shmancy fake art

  • @wakygee
    @wakygee 3 роки тому

    Phone: ring
    Me: hello?
    Caller: hi, how are you?
    Me: good, you?
    Caller: I'm great, thanks for asking
    The "thanks for asking" bit is basically saying "I'm about to try to sell you something"

  • @kepler214
    @kepler214 3 роки тому +2

    Productivity : Comment
    Manipulation : like
    ||
    ||
    V

  • @ramilurazmanov
    @ramilurazmanov 3 роки тому

    "Maybe even their baby's forehead", ahahhah, it's really hilarious :D

  • @krishagohil1780
    @krishagohil1780 3 роки тому +3

    To answer the last question: you yourself manipulated us in the end with curiosity stream and nebula ahha

  • @FlashTopy
    @FlashTopy 3 роки тому +1

    Any time-codes?

  • @beatrizdesa7601
    @beatrizdesa7601 3 роки тому

    Amazing video! Thank you!

  • @NeverMyRealName
    @NeverMyRealName 3 роки тому

    awesome video! keep doing this!

  • @1.4142
    @1.4142 3 роки тому

    Does skinner have anything to do with skinner's box?

  • @tannerradloff
    @tannerradloff 3 роки тому

    This feels like some sort of reverse corperate sales training! 😂 No but really though, this is all true and important for people to know who've never seen a breakdown of sales tactics. That being said, I think one important point to add is that its also just not mentally healthy to be paranoid that every person you talk to is just trying to sell you something or get something out of the interaction. Of course theres slimey salesmen and manipulative people, especially in car sales, but I also think that most people are good, and at the end of the day as long as you think for yourself and stick to your boundaries keeping all of the tactics in this video in mind, you'll be just fine. Thanks for the info Thomas!

  • @namope359
    @namope359 3 роки тому

    This takes me back to the time when a Polish ACT aid seller came right up to our house.
    She was pretty nice and it was near impossible to turn down the offer at that point, and that offer was give or take a couple hundreds.
    A sibling piped up and said we'd find much of this information for free online right after she left. - _ -

  • @marcostumpf7716
    @marcostumpf7716 3 роки тому +1

    This suit looks great on you! 👌🏽

  • @ssenjuti7770
    @ssenjuti7770 3 роки тому

    Thank you Thomas

  • @johnconner4695
    @johnconner4695 3 роки тому

    That suit is on point Tom lmao

  • @valentinachurilov7714
    @valentinachurilov7714 3 роки тому

    Thank you, you help me grow and involve.

  • @athuls88
    @athuls88 3 роки тому +1

    😅I not sure about saying this but this video was a near experience to reading the full book "The Psychology of Persuasion"✌
    🙏Thank you Thomas Frank for making these kinds of awesome videos.....👌
    💬Also the tactic that I have came across many time was "reciprocation"☝

  • @LightsOnTrees
    @LightsOnTrees 3 роки тому +1

    I think what we're yet to see is the great stock footage revolution... all those people close together, queues, leaning over someone elses shoulder...

  • @YashMenghani
    @YashMenghani 3 роки тому

    Incredible insights Thomas! I've gotta get that book.

    • @linusoredsson7111
      @linusoredsson7111 3 роки тому

      @Thomas Frank "Thank you" fake Thomas Frank. Very "helpfull".

  • @AhmadNazirAfiq
    @AhmadNazirAfiq 3 роки тому +4

    The thumbnail basically confirms you’ve been doing upper body workout. Pecs! 💪

  • @ayushkumarchandra
    @ayushkumarchandra 3 роки тому +2

    The stock photo theory is legit, designing and developing websites for 3 years and using images from unsplash and other copyright free services, now I feel most of the images I see on apps and websites are indeed a stock photo!

    • @SaraMakesArt
      @SaraMakesArt 3 роки тому

      Fake testimonials not only manipulate customers, they ultimately hurt honest business people who are using real testimonials.

  • @imblackjournal694
    @imblackjournal694 3 роки тому

    Wow great video!

  • @ModestNeko
    @ModestNeko 3 роки тому

    Adding the Animal Crossing video is perfect xD Redd has manipulative sales tactics but it's worse when you know that some of his art pieces are fake.

  • @TechsYouCantLiveWithout
    @TechsYouCantLiveWithout 3 роки тому

    Awesome thumbnail!

  • @jag519
    @jag519 3 роки тому +2

    Would this be an example of commitment? Giving most of the episode for free so we're already committed, and not more likely to buy curiositystream to be able to see the rest on nebula?

  • @HelloThere-gb3ji
    @HelloThere-gb3ji 3 роки тому

    I really expect that you can introduce ALL apps you are using in a video, like apps for work conviently, or something on an iPad that can boost up my productivity and things like that!

  • @asmaa9492
    @asmaa9492 3 роки тому

    This is GREAT !

  • @eRs147
    @eRs147 3 роки тому

    thank you for making this video

  • @owenclemons
    @owenclemons 3 роки тому

    I Love this!

  • @user-lolman12390
    @user-lolman12390 3 роки тому

    Return of the king

  • @pinusniron8935
    @pinusniron8935 3 роки тому

    Thank you 🙏🙏🙏
    You're amazing 👌👌⭐⭐⭐
    Great vidio👍👍👍👍👍

  • @Toolie-u9w
    @Toolie-u9w 3 роки тому +10

    That feeling when you watch 5 Tactics People Use to Manipulate You , to know how to manipulate people

  • @anxen
    @anxen 3 роки тому

    "Most people.." - this phrase triggers my internal Equip Boss Lv Battle Weapon

  • @varunok4176
    @varunok4176 3 роки тому

    Every video Thomas Frank manipulates me into liking him and I end up 👍ing, commenting and subscribing

  • @muru7514
    @muru7514 3 роки тому

    Saw the On Deck sticker -- I'm going through that program too ;)

  • @Reiniac
    @Reiniac 3 роки тому

    Limiting access to a segment talking about using scarcity as a tactic is a big brained move but joke's on you, I was already a Nebula subscriber!
    wait

  • @DeepakBaddepudi
    @DeepakBaddepudi 3 роки тому

    i read influence recently, nice summary on the book.

  • @bekjohansson3016
    @bekjohansson3016 3 роки тому +1

    @ThomasFrank You are way too young to be my Dad. But I get a chuckle every time you say it. Great video!

  • @syahrulfachrudin2811
    @syahrulfachrudin2811 3 роки тому

    You Should mention The Inforium, great podcast for me on productivity

  • @knightmareco
    @knightmareco 3 роки тому +1

    That tripwire product. I downloaded a free game to my phone to play in my spare time. Saw a $3 purchase that was a really good deal, and ended up spending $250 in the course of three months.

    • @TheKarebear666
      @TheKarebear666 3 роки тому

      I've done the same thing. I make sure to not purchase things through my phone games now

  • @tomeubank3625
    @tomeubank3625 3 роки тому +2

    Isn't party politics, when it's not being driven by big donor bribes, usually driven by authority and reciprocity.

    • @Thomasfrank
      @Thomasfrank  3 роки тому +1

      I'd say politicians use all of these and more. Commitment and Consistency is a HUGE one in politics - we're pressured to vote for the same party we always vote for, regardless of issues.
      Another tactic that the book doesn't cover (at least not in detail) is defining an enemy. Defining your idea or product as one that stands in opposition to some perceived "other" makes it stand out more. Politics may be the realm where this is used most strongly.

  • @sathyapilai4537
    @sathyapilai4537 3 роки тому

    Wow! Thomas I am indebted to you

  • @madhavdaga
    @madhavdaga 3 роки тому

    Great thumbnail! 👌🏻

  • @nkosinathintuli
    @nkosinathintuli 3 роки тому

    Thank you

  • @GeniusOnHisWay
    @GeniusOnHisWay 3 роки тому

    Hey man, are you still doing a video on the Obsidian notetaking programme? :)

  • @chopin65
    @chopin65 3 роки тому

    Don't do that, parents. Don't put Apple stickers on your baby's face. Thomas isn't suggesting you do it. They could choke on them.

  • @ip-organizeme
    @ip-organizeme 3 роки тому

    Great video Thomas! I would say the obvious example is if someone is coming off saccharin but that usually results in a quick red flag

  • @kristiangreene8401
    @kristiangreene8401 3 роки тому

    That thumbnail made me an offer I couldn't refuse.

  • @asid1818
    @asid1818 3 роки тому

    Love the thumbnail

  • @jahong_liu
    @jahong_liu 3 роки тому +1

    nice suit !!!!!

  • @willforest5302
    @willforest5302 3 роки тому

    never forget the power of giving gifts, to give someone a gift is to buy yourself a favour because they will feel obligated to repay you

  • @ernest3286
    @ernest3286 3 роки тому

    The guy's face at 10:30 was hilarious

  • @samuelvilz
    @samuelvilz 3 роки тому

    The clip at 10:28 has perfect comedic timing, what the hell

  • @tpeasetiger
    @tpeasetiger 3 роки тому

    Strange, every point made after 9:21 felt way more convincing than every point made before. And I also had the strange feeling that I liked Mr. Frank a whole lot more...and I seriously considered subscribing to Nebula afterwards. What’s happening!? 😨

  • @ellaboons5564
    @ellaboons5564 3 роки тому

    awesome video! when is the one on investing coming out :)

  • @zaqui3
    @zaqui3 3 роки тому +1

    Thanks a lot for the video! I love this type of content. I'm an English teacher and this week we're studying some vocabulary about advertising, I'll recommend the video to my students as a point for discussion. And your videos about studying techniques too ;)
    Also, I wanted to thank you for the diversity in representation in the video. As a member of the LGTBQ+ community I really appreciate when content creators take that into account.