5 Ways People Manipulate You (And How to Resist Them)
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- Опубліковано 1 чер 2024
- When you understand these persuasion tactics, you'll make better decisions.
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⏱ TIMESTAMPS:
00:00 - Intro
01:25 - Commitment
03:20 - Reciprocity
05:38 - Social Proof
07:58 - Authority
11:12 - Liking
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🎞 CREDITS AND SPECIAL THANKS
Written by Ransom Patterson and Thomas Frank
Edited by Tony Santos
Video clips supplied by Getty Images
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🦙 There's a bonus section for this video on Nebula covering one additional manipulation tactic! Check out the Nebula + CuriosityStream bundle to watch that version ad-free: curiositystream.com/thomas
🧐 One point we cut from the script for time: Persuasion isn't always unethical. When we dress up for job interviews, we're projecting authority. Persuasion coupled with a true belief that your idea, service, or product will help your audience is great - we have to use persuasion to cut through all of life's other noise. However, when these tactics are used to push people in a direction that's against their best interests, that's when they become unethical. By learning how to divorce the merits of the message from the persuasion tactics, you'll be better at understanding when that's happening.
❓ What's an example of a persuasion tactic that I didn't mention in the video? Feel free to point out any that I use if you like 😛
Why don't you put the Nebula link in your email?
Hey Thomas, don´t know if you actually play pokemon Go, but would you like to be friends on the game?
I would LOVE to join Nebula. Unfortunately, it doesn’t accept PayPal as payment method and I don‘t have a credit card (it is not usual to have one in Germany 🇩🇪)
I guess I am very fillable. I probably am manipulated all the time. I am confused a little. There is another very popular youtube. Rhett and I know he was just joking but he said the if you like then click like, but then threw in there that comments are not needed but we don't need the validation. So ever since then I want to say something but then change my mind. I am not saying anything negative about the show at all. I guess he is right. I am thankful you said to comment so I didn't have to think. Permission was give. Anyways I really enjoyed your show and content. Have a great day
Thumbnail Perfection.
Simon made it!
Oh hello Mary :)
There is a genocide happening. The Chinese government is killing the Uyghurs. The world is silent about it, yet globally it has been recognized as a genocide. Stop buying products in China and start taking action to see change. It’s ethnic cleansing. We can do better.
I feel like I can often tell when a person is trying to manipulate me. The sense of authenticity and closeness is usually missing and that is detectable.
Often, yes. But that is in no way bullet-proof way to detect manipulation.
@@LukeSumIpsePatremTe well i am a bit like him and i think i can see all the points he talked about in this video unconsciously on habit so i can tell if a person is trying to manipulate me without even consciously thinking, it just strikes in the brain that this person's kinda sus
A common red flag I experienced with a particular business person was ALWAYS answering a question with a question. (This is business related) I'm good with clarification but I finally tested my suspicions of being manipulated over a very simple subject, not business related. I reversed his own manipulation tactic on him and we had a "manipulation stand off". I finally conceded to see his response. He never spoke to me again. These are great tools to add to my toolbox. Thanks.
*"Sometimes you don't even realise you're blocking your own blessings by holding onto the past or thinking negatively. Start letting go."*
Love from a small channel
If Thomas Frank ever has kids, he’ll have to put an asterisk at the bottom of his outros that says “unless you actually are my children watching. In which case, why aren’t you doing your homework?”
I absolutely hate knowing I'm being manipulated; I'm ashamed and embarrassed for that person, and yet that doesn't make it any easier for me to get out of doing what they want me to. If it's an ad or an app, I have no problem cutting that short; if it's a person, hoo boy, that gets awkward. It's as obviously as the nose on their face, and yet I can't say anything.
Yeah, I come from a manipulative and psychologically abusive household and have next to zero assertiveness. Recognising certain things doesn't automatically equal being able to deal with them. But it's certainly a crucial first step.
Agreed. Awareness is great, but boundary work is the real gold. I'm sorry you grew up in an abusive household too. Learning how to set boundaries has been a long and hard road, and I'm nowhere near perfect, bit it's been worth it to keep going.
I'm finding therapy is helping me set better boundaries and helping to build my innate confidence. You can do it!
Both of my parents does this negatively to each other and their kids (me and my siblings) for the last 20 years. Guess where that led us? A really bitter divorce and three suicidal dropouts.
I totally feel you 😭 I hope you can become stronger from this! We can't choose our family, but we can choose our own actions
You should look at the subreddit Raised by Narcissists. It could help you and your siblings draw healthy boundaries.
I love the authority one so much. It's the one most people tend to forget and assume they have our best interests at heart.
Ooh! Definitely gonna check this book out. Great to see you posting again!
I love how you are trying to apply the things you've said in the video and test us with the sponsor. The writing of this is one of your best!
Just watched your skill share course 💯👍 thank you!! You're amazing. Great video
There is a genocide happening. The Chinese government is killing the Uyghurs. The world is silent about it, yet globally it has been recognized as a genocide. Stop buying products in China and start taking action to see change. It’s ethnic cleansing. We can do better.
"We often place trust in the symbols of authority"
*The Falcon and the winter soldier music starts*
It's great to see some different topic in this video. I really loved the content, references you have used, your presentation and you in the suit ❤️ Eagerly waiting for more such videos!!
I've been in executive sales for the last ten years. Taking people out to a meal, playing golf, gifting them with calendars, pens, and hats, making notes in Notion about their birthdays, family information, favorite sporting teams... as well as teaching classes about the products I sold to establish myself as an expert on the subject. The only thing I didn't do was fake the relationships. If we didn't hit it off, there was really no reason for me to call on you. I do probably need better suits though.
Who are you trying to convince those aren't fake relationships? I'm nice to people and get along great with a lot of people but I don't want to sell them anything.
@@wakygee I no longer work in sales and I still play pool and golf, text, go out, send, and receive Christmas cards from the people who were my former customers.
Love the work and all the nuances y'all put into this video!
Some favorite aesthetic moments:
- the ongoing Ratatouille example
- Tom popping into a suit reverse- Clark Kent/genie/wizard style
- the family being casually shown as two dudes and a baby (we really need more examples of family structures that aren't just mom/dad/kids and I appreciate you choosing to use this particular clip from the stock photo site)
Awesome work as always my dude!
Your videos are class. So glad I found this channel 👏
When looking at the thumbnail, all I can picture is NSYNC’s Bye Bye Bye 😂
Omg me too 😆
My fav song back in the day
Mahn u nailed at makimg the thumbnail.... Creativity on another lvl🌟👍
Great great video, well done and well edited, thanks m8, lot of effort you put there, and i see it
Pixel llama with Thomas hopping on screen!! I really enjoy that touch on the intro.
Great video too! I believe you've talked about this in your podcast too if I remember correctly.
Nice insight.
Own my side, its so complicated to scan every motive of good deed people did to us. Some are sincere, many are 'no free lunch'. For me we must be clear about our objective, our need, and the readyness to pay for every option we choice in life ( risk is a must). Be smart, but stay open mind. Avoid over reacted, over excited, take controll of your self
I don't know why but I got pursuaded to clicking this video 🤣
*purswayded
@@kevincgrabb *parswaeidead
@@elizabethcheruvathur purse waded
Amazing video! Thank you!
awesome video! keep doing this!
Ive been watching thomas franks videos for a while now his videos have been useful and high quality lately
I really like how you explain these topics. Would also love a video in the future where you get into the difference between unethical manipulation vs ethical manipulation (what I would call persuasion). As a coach and entrepreneur who find so much meaning in truly helping their clients, being mindful about how I do my marketing is really important to me.
As a Borderline Narcissist... I can tell you that I use P.I.M.A.C. to get money, time, and resources from my targets at work and at home. Power, Influence, Manipulation, Authority, and Control. PIMAC. I've been mastering it for more than 20 years. It works great.
Thomas using his "Authority" to get inside our minds and guiding it...always loving his content though !
Really liked how visually pleasing is this video. Can you make a video on how you film videos and edit them?
Ugh all your videos are amazing
Thomas, this video is so good I want to make notes.
Likability...liking or the desire to be liked seems to be one of the fixtures in every aspect of our life we try to improve ...maybe that's the reason why it's not always easy to see when people are trying to manipulate us 💡
Thumbnail Looks Perfect!!!
Very educational as usual
I think these is how we human emotions work, it’s like a circle everybody gets manipulated or manipulates nobody can entirely defend these 360 degree. But we can be bit alert by self awareness.
thank you for making this video
Cults almost always use these to the max, and there are religious, commercial and even political cults... It is very good to become aware of this
This is such a great video.
Graeber's book on debt is BASED. My mind was blown with every page I read. Completely shifted the way I perceive the world.
Wow great video!
Incredible insights Thomas! I've gotta get that book.
@Thomas Frank "Thank you" fake Thomas Frank. Very "helpfull".
Thank you Thomas
Thank you, you help me grow and involve.
I like how you tried to manipulate me into subscribing for Nebula right after you finished talking about the tactics.
This is GREAT !
Nice use of authority using the suit for your sales pitch 😂
Your videos are awesome!
I really expect that you can introduce ALL apps you are using in a video, like apps for work conviently, or something on an iPad that can boost up my productivity and things like that!
I feel like the thumbnail manipulated me to click on this video 😩
really genius to explain the scarecity part by using it on the spot
I Love this!
This suit looks great on you! 👌🏽
i read influence recently, nice summary on the book.
Totally unrelated, but your videos helped me get through college and I just wanted to say thank you.
That doesn't sound unrelated at all, that sounds incredibly relevant. :)
😅I not sure about saying this but this video was a near experience to reading the full book "The Psychology of Persuasion"✌
🙏Thank you Thomas Frank for making these kinds of awesome videos.....👌
💬Also the tactic that I have came across many time was "reciprocation"☝
Coffee making machine manufacturer would put attractive persuasive women (and occasionally men) to sell their coffee maker by making you a cup of coffee in the store. Their flaw was to rotate the person every week, so I'd get my coffee in the coffee maker store every Saturday, and get a different pitch for the same coffee maker. It made great coffee, but used those expensive refill cartridges.
Great video as always Tom!
The contrasting principle is the big one, depending on what was shown or given 1st it can affect your decision on sequential options.
This feels like some sort of reverse corperate sales training! 😂 No but really though, this is all true and important for people to know who've never seen a breakdown of sales tactics. That being said, I think one important point to add is that its also just not mentally healthy to be paranoid that every person you talk to is just trying to sell you something or get something out of the interaction. Of course theres slimey salesmen and manipulative people, especially in car sales, but I also think that most people are good, and at the end of the day as long as you think for yourself and stick to your boundaries keeping all of the tactics in this video in mind, you'll be just fine. Thanks for the info Thomas!
Saw the On Deck sticker -- I'm going through that program too ;)
Thank you
Great thumbnail! 👌🏻
Every video Thomas Frank manipulates me into liking him and I end up 👍ing, commenting and subscribing
You Should mention The Inforium, great podcast for me on productivity
Thank you 🙏🙏🙏
You're amazing 👌👌⭐⭐⭐
Great vidio👍👍👍👍👍
@ThomasFrank You are way too young to be my Dad. But I get a chuckle every time you say it. Great video!
there's also this tactic that I've seen somewhere before, not sure if it fits into the 5 categories you've mentioned:
since people want to be viewed a certain way by others, want to maintain an image, that can be manipulated by things such as
"you'd do this if you were a real man" or "that's not how rich people behave" or something to that effect
the funny story here is "me and the boys" were at a spicy ramen shop and there's this spoonful of concentrated hot sauce on the table. One of my friends said "if you were a real man you'd eat this hot sauce", none of us took that dare seriously except this one poor guy who actually went and ate it lol. The whole thing was out of good fun but I think it still makes a good example.
Hey man, are you still doing a video on the Obsidian notetaking programme? :)
Wow! Thomas I am indebted to you
9:30 dan(g), thomas really lok'd it down with that point
ha ha! have been waiting for this cm mate
That suit is on point Tom lmao
Awesome thumbnail!
Love the thumbnail
Nice suit, Thomas. 👌😁
This takes me back to the time when a Polish ACT aid seller came right up to our house.
She was pretty nice and it was near impossible to turn down the offer at that point, and that offer was give or take a couple hundreds.
A sibling piped up and said we'd find much of this information for free online right after she left. - _ -
I feel like this is your subtle way of getting people to open their eyes as to what's really going on with this never ending pandemic. Great advice, hopefully it works.
Return of the king
Who is the king
Thanks a lot for the video! I love this type of content. I'm an English teacher and this week we're studying some vocabulary about advertising, I'll recommend the video to my students as a point for discussion. And your videos about studying techniques too ;)
Also, I wanted to thank you for the diversity in representation in the video. As a member of the LGTBQ+ community I really appreciate when content creators take that into account.
Great video Thomas! I would say the obvious example is if someone is coming off saccharin but that usually results in a quick red flag
thanks cant wait to use these to manipulate my friends
"Most people.." - this phrase triggers my internal Equip Boss Lv Battle Weapon
nice suit !!!!!
Would this be an example of commitment? Giving most of the episode for free so we're already committed, and not more likely to buy curiositystream to be able to see the rest on nebula?
awesome video! when is the one on investing coming out :)
One more means of manipulations is guilt. The person makes you feel guilty in one way or another. So e.g. for the car dealer, if you basically refuse to buy the huge luxury car they may throw in something like "i suppose you do not want to treat your kids with comfort" but in a more cunning and hidden way (i am not good at manipulating to explain this better) .. Another example a clothes seller "you could also buy the matching jacket to have the perfect outfit" and then you feel guilty for not having the ability to afford the matching jacket.. and so on.
Nice, I just did a Psychology exam with a section on this! ps. suit looks sharp.
The thumbnail basically confirms you’ve been doing upper body workout. Pecs! 💪
😏
Good topic👍👍👍👍, " manipulation" by nature the shrewd people always tend to manipulate the naive ones and on this point I'm referring to governments given the fact that history teaches us about ancient empires! 👍👍👍👍
I think what we're yet to see is the great stock footage revolution... all those people close together, queues, leaning over someone elses shoulder...
The stock photo theory is legit, designing and developing websites for 3 years and using images from unsplash and other copyright free services, now I feel most of the images I see on apps and websites are indeed a stock photo!
Fake testimonials not only manipulate customers, they ultimately hurt honest business people who are using real testimonials.
Literally so in love with you 😍
The guy's face at 10:30 was hilarious
That tripwire product. I downloaded a free game to my phone to play in my spare time. Saw a $3 purchase that was a really good deal, and ended up spending $250 in the course of three months.
I've done the same thing. I make sure to not purchase things through my phone games now
To answer the last question: you yourself manipulated us in the end with curiosity stream and nebula ahha
My parents are both con-artists (talk about my authority on the subject). This video explains it all very well. Even though I know a lot of this, and in fact cannot accept a gift or kindness from a person because I think it is a trick, I still find myself volunteering sometimes to just go along with it because I want to be accepted by the other person or group. No one is immune.
That's really sad. Not everybody is nice to get something from you. Most people also feel happier when they are kind and make others happy, so many people are kind for the sake of being kind. But I'm sure it's hard to believe that when you never saw it happening around you growing up. I hope you are able to find people who love and care about you without wanting anything in return and help you believe that
I actually remember sub-consciously using these techniques in my few months working at a network provider; how interesting to look back at my times as a salesman with this video 😊
Btw you look really amazing with that suit ❤️
I am very much shocked when I already face those problem in couple of month already. Hope, This is help me to get over those problem and success. Please pray for me.
Strange, every point made after 9:21 felt way more convincing than every point made before. And I also had the strange feeling that I liked Mr. Frank a whole lot more...and I seriously considered subscribing to Nebula afterwards. What’s happening!? 😨
“We all fool ourselves from time to time in order to keep our thoughts and beliefs consistent with what we have already done or decided”
― Robert B. Cialdini
If Red ever showed up, then yes, he would manipulate me into buying fancy shmancy fake art
Thanks for showing non traditional families in the footage, even if it was totally irrelevant to the topic I think it is a nice ethical gesture :)