alanis in conversation with dr. ramani durvasala
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- Опубліковано 16 тра 2024
- Alanis sat with Dr. Ramani Durvasala and dove deeply into the effects of narcissism on relationships and culture. In this conversation, various classes of personality disorders and styles are clarified, along with the motivations that drive the different profile types. Thoughts on where change might be expected, and where not, discussed along with other insightful information for those most subject to being affected.
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Website: alanis.com
Facebook: / alanismorissette
Twitter: / alanis
Instagram: / alanis
Podcast: smarturl.it/CWApodcast
#AlanisMorissette #RamaniDurvasula
I was 12 when Jagged Little Pill came out. Classic through and through. I was 37 when I discovered Dr. Ramani. Thank you both. What a gift.
I still have it on original CD. Although I have also converted it into flac format so I can listen to it on devices that no longer have CD players.
@@ISquishWorms Wow! Here, "very special person" award
Same!
@@elizabethd6433 Nice!
I couldn't handle the original JLP because I was too traumatized for the rage of betrayal to be heard as helpful... The acoustic version of JLP is, along with Time Out of Mind (Dylan 2003) helped me heal. I'm very grateful❤
Such a good quote from Dr Ramani "The narcissistic structure is based on a delusional sense of perfection" and this is why they can't take any responsibility and can't accept feedback of any potential negativity.
It is a life of walking on eggshells not to 'set off' the narcissist who--in return--debases and put downs others with no regard due to a lack of correct levels of empathy.
It's truly a nightmare disorder
This sounds exactly like OCPD, as well. Perhaps, NPD is often comorbid with OCPD?
So well described. It is a life of walking on eggshells. With very little or zero empathy given in return.
Narcissist One, 2&3 in my family of Origin, " how DARE you react! you INGRATE"!!!
ALL participants of building; maintaining & living within a "civilized" / constructed environment ARE "narcissistic" to ALL other life and the ecosystem that produces it.
The narcissistic structure of delusional perfection can also be described as fantasy ego-identity, with which they identify. If you damage their fantasy with reality, they feel you have attacked them.
Dr. Ramani and Alanis? I never saw this collab coming: I'm a big fan of both of them.
Same! 🤯
@@danvorosmarty9854 lol same same✌🏼💜
Right!
Refreshing!
I thought *exactly* the same thing!
Narcissistic parents completely shape the trajectory of a childs upbringing.
Trust, love, empathy, mercy are all conditional qualities and a means to an end.
It takes a lifetime to observe, accept, unlearn and relearn. It also has meant walking away from all of the family I have ever known.
Thank you for the conversation!
An oldster now, but it is so wild... I feel empathy, but was taught by the NPD parent it is wrong. It wasn't until I was a young adult and studying psychology on a graduate level (how typical!) I even began to get a clue into that dynamic.
@@nsbd90now Amazing to me how we become programed. Its as if empathy was poison. Trust was my programing.
Dont trust anyone.
@@wesleyduckett1982 We're in trouble Wesley. Big, big, big, big trouble. I would totally bet the USA goes fascist later this year.
I hear that.
You are not alone 😔
No contact is sometimes the only way. Normalise No contact.
Elon said iT best "go (blank) Yourself"
@@TribeWilloughby??
I am sick Loretta 🤕 attention get you some Publicity and publicity means You are wealthy and Wealth = Pussy so I wanna get rich or die Try'n & that's what We learned from Alanis about Histrionic Dissociation Disorders in Regard to Ego
Literally getting the validation from Alanis❤❤❤😭🙏
Great to have this podcast back. My father was a narcissus. I've only just been diagnosed with autism at age 53. When I was young my father would call me partially retarded and encouraged my older sisters to call me that too. I could never understand why he was cruel, why he dominated to the point I was scared of him. Today I have no friends, I fear people. I surround myself with my horses and cats. Animals I trust, people I don't.
You're not alone. Animals are lovely. Simple. Pure.
Humans are too complicated today.
It sounds like you're ok
I wish you the best. So hard what you had to endure. I am so sorry for that
Me too ❤
Animals don’t intimidate
What a horrible father. 💔 I'm glad your animals are looking after you ♡
Thank you. Both of you.
As a man who experienced 20 years of marriage unknowingly to a (after the fact) clinically diagnosed person with FULL spectrum Cluster B disorder and so much more… thank you for having this discussion and producing the content for awareness.
The abuse and destruction these people cause should be a criminal offense.
It is a battle of the soul; armor up!
Healing and rebuilding in isolation and on my own.
Stay alert! Stay alive! Stay strong! Peace ✌️
I think emotional abuse is a criminal offence now. It's counted as domestic violence, in the UK anyway, and maybe other places as well.
@@jasminebarratt1809 not in the United States. Everything goes to women
@@cajuncrackerranch7990 Well I hope they update the laws in the US as well. Obviously it would apply to both sexes. The law in the UK came into effect in 2015, which was too late for me. I already had severe ptsd and brain damage from stress by then, but I was glad of the validation. It should absolutely be taken as seriously as physical abuse, the stress of these situations can make people ill, which is a form of physical abuse in my opinion.
@@jasminebarratt1809I have heard about that in England. I didn't know much about NPD till I lived with one,a old high school sweetie from 46 years ago, I let back in my life she was down and out no fault of her own,I told her no relationship before she came to my home,well she roped me in and it was the worst experience I've ever been through. What is really sad she is the only woman I truly loved. I won't even speak to her for what she put me through. She seems to forget how she treated me.
Spiritual warfare.. stay grounded, stay connected ♡
Alanis is so humble even as famous and talented she is, she’s so relatable and kind.
Heh... I've always liked her music, but didn't know her as a regular person dealing with these types of influences and so aware of Dr. Ramani who I'm definitely aware of.
From this conversation, it's clear Alanis has put the HOURS in becoming so empathetic and self aware. 🙏🏽 Talented artist; but also creative human being.
Completely, so great to see.
Alanis is a very awesome person, the best therapist I never had.@@krs227
Absolutely
I love what Dr. Ramani said about teaching children empathy is a parent's highest calling because I raised two very empathetic boys, but this made life for them with a father who was diagnosed ASPD/NPD very difficult, and by society's yard stick I failed as a mother with my eldest son taking over my scapegoat role and his brother being the invisible child both had pronounced and diagnosed cases of CPTSD. One is working hard on healing at 26, but his older brother died of an accidental overdose a few years ago. As a mother, it was terrifying and heartbreaking to see what was happening to my children and not be able to protect them. It was also a highly narcissistic family so the only place they learned empathy was when they were with me, but ultimately I thought this set them up to be hurt even worse by their disordered family, especially their dad.
I think they would have been hurt anyway and I don't think that showing them empathy added to it because you need empathy for yourself too in order to heal.
I'm sorry for your loss but don't carry the blame that belongs to their narcissistic father; it was his doing and taking the blame of someone else's actions is not healthy for you and it takes the blame off him.
I understand the guilt of not being able to rescue someone, I have lived it and I was shocked especially with my youngest sister, whom I have protected my whole life, when I realized she was a narcissist and a very vulnerable, covert one after five decades. Feeling guilty for not being able to undo what my mother did (how she influenced her so badly) is delusional on my side because I'm not God and I don't have superpowers. Of course, there's lots of grief but I hope you understand what I am saying and stop blaming yourself for the wrongdoings of their father. God bless you 💓
Thank you for this comment and share. I am 45 and trying to heal from lifetime of abuse and trauma, a lot of it in advert but stuff just came to ahead with a borderline/NPD partner who I now coparent with. Really important to me to be teaching her empathy and integrity, that there is right and wrong and hurting people is not OK, doing it intentionally and taking pleasure from it is complete shit and as long as there’s breath in my body, she will not go in that direction.
I am sorry 😞. My situation is similar. Divorced and my youngest is really going through it. Realizing all this and he was ne er seen by his father. Life is very difficult for him. Plus trauma and ptsd due to injury. I am so sorry about your oldest son.
Agreed 💔so tragic watching the light in a child's eyes be extinguished by the individual who shared in the creation of that priceless Miracle😥
@@cindyjohnson7883 precisely. Unfortunately, I've witnessed it. 💔💔💔
Oh my goodness, kids. When my son was in grade/middle school, and he was and is very intelligent, I would tell him that I cared much less about grades than if he was KIND to others. He is autistic, and was high enough functioning as to be able to somewhat mask this and get through high school but hated it. I am proud to say that he is still very thoughtful and kind. He struggles so much on other levels, but his attitude to life and others is healthy.
Good job Mom!
These two are very different. This comment has nothing to do with cluster b personality
@@SpiritualTarotGoddessautism behaviours can be seen and misjudged as narcissistic
7:55
"Living in a perpetual adolescence." - Exactly. Well said. And a great time for an Alanis Morissette album.
Thank you for letting me sit in. I felt a sense of 'library safe space' here. Refreshing. Alanis Rocks!
Alanis - Thank you so much for this interview. My wife felt so alone dealing with her family. I've seldom heard anyone approach narcissism with consciousness like you do. I wrote a book in 2009 called - "Get off your high horse and walk". I listed you as one of my heroes. It's so nice to feel that we are not alone, and I also feel that consciousness may be on the rise, and that is why there is so much awareness about narcissism. Things that were once hidden in the framework is now brought to light.❤❤❤
I like the idea that consciousness may be on the rise. It’s hard to see on the surface but the currents are deep and powerful.
It totally is❤❤❤
I like that title..
I’ve been having a hard time leaving a narcissistic relationship and everything you said about this person rings so true about them. They are always playing the victim never taking accountability, feeling like they are better than most people , most people are stupid , but also feeling like he was a POS and unworthy. He would never ask me questions about myself, never wanted to define the relationship. I also felt so uneasy in his presence in a way I’ve never known before. It should have been easy to walk away from this but it wasn’t. One thing it did do was highlight my own shadows and I’ve learned to set better boundaries.
Yesterday I was in the store and You Learn came on and had me in tears and then today this video popped up it definitely was divine guidance.
Glad you stumbled upon this knowledge I was in a 15 year narcissistic relationship, which I had to escape. It’s not easy but necessary for you to live your best life.🙏💙
I agree, that there is an uneasiness with people who lack empathy, when you realize they have none. :( It's called "The Uncanny Valley." They are like human, but not-like-human. The same feeling people get with humanoid robots.
Two very intelligent humans.
HIGHLY !
How is it that the brilliant Alanis Morissette never ages??? And, Dr. Ramani, for that matter! I want what they're having! Both precious gems!
Two of my favorite people in the whole world ❤❤❤
I had no idea that Alanis was doing interviews or that she was so freaking brilliant! I liked her music in the 90s, I was a teenager and she was super big on the radio. But I don’t really follow Hollywood or watch TV or anything else, so, personal lives had no idea until Johnny Depp almost lose his career and potentially his life to that psycho/BPD Amber heard.. Really cool to see more and more people having these conversations. And Alanis is freaking bad ass.
She is so awesome you're correct,after I ended a relationship with a women with NPD and alot of trauma that caused her CPTSD plus she has TBI.my Dr put me on Valium my Dr knows her so she knew what I was going through. Anyway I started listening to Alanis interviews and I was just in awe how smart she is.I just adore her and Dr.Ramini.
You should do a conversation with Joan Jett, since you're going to be with her on tour soon. Leading up to that, how about do a conversation with her? She's super spiritual, and it would be very interesting for fans.
I am so delighted hearing this conversation with her and Dr. Ramani. I don’t really follow Hollywood stuff, though I always loved Alanis music back in the day. Cool to see her having these awesome and brilliant conversations… Makes sense that she is smart, but I had no idea what a great solid human she actually is!
What a gift 🎁💖 Two empathetic, introspective souls talking about the complexities of mental health with so much wisdom and compassion. Thank you 🙏🏻
I just realized I also unconsciously turn my body whenever I have a conversation with someone I consider dangerous for me, narcissistic, antagonistic, malevolent etc. I think it is a way for the body to protect the solar plexus in physical terms..this is just my interpretation
Cats will only roll over and show you their belly if they fully trust/like you because instinct tells them to protect their vital organs at all costs. ...so your theory makes perfect sense to me.
Could be the holy spirit guiding you 😊
Alanis’s smile can light up a room. 😊
And Dr. Ramani’s! Two lovely ladies. 🙂
Two people I love have come together!
I cannot express how helpful this conversation was for me to witness. I’ve found myself dealing with CPTSD and over the years going through stages of healing that closely resembled histrionic, borderline, and dissociative disorders. No official diagnosis however, all self diagnosed through learning from watching conversations like this one, and reading through research and the DSM which is extremely limited. And all of which has made me a bit of a magnet for narcissists, haha Ive joked that they can smell the weakness on me. All that is to say, I now find myself to be in a much healthier state of mind than I’ve ever been, no longer a magnet because I can spot them a mile away and maintain healthy boundaries! But this conversation was SO validating in understanding how my past disordered thinking and behaviors were overlapping in such a complicated fashion that it’s really hard to put a permanent label on these symptoms. It’s my theory, and personal experience, that people can move through these sorts of disorders and heal from them when there’s a focus on self with intentional healing. And access to information and conversations like these helps immensely. Thank you for your work Dr. Ramani, and Alanis, you helped me through some very difficult teenage years in a profound way, and to my shock again now in my forties. Thank you both so much for sharing this with us. ❤🎉
P.S. I’d absolutely love to see you two collaborate a conversation with The Crappy Childhood Fairy.
CPTSD and finding out what was the root of my life problems was so shocking I almost lost my mind. Some people call it The Dark Night of the Soul...it was devastating to me but getting more emotionally regulated helps a lot even when I have lots of other issues such as shame, grief, inner child work but at least I'm not so lost.
Anyway, it's such a long process...
@@Lyrielonwind i can totally relate! In my case, I’ve experienced a dramatic improvement over time and conscious effort to maintain all of the healthy coping skills and radical personal accountability without the shame whenever I slip. I sincerely wish the same for you and everyone who is healing from trauma. 🤗
@@Lyrielonwind Same. I went through a Dark Night of the Soul around when Alanis Morissette came out with "Jagged Little Pill" with my ex-boyfriend at the same time. I thought I healed from that. Then.... wham! My aging parents with whom I was low-contact (not intentionally, but merely because they didn't want to be involved in my life) suddenly had health and mental issues. Dealing with aging narcissists, I've learned why I became a magnet for messed-up boyfriends like my exes. :( And how going thru that Dark Night of the Soul led to a healthier relationship (relatively) with my husband of 22 years. I'm learning that my aging parents were narcissists, and my mother was on the Dark Triad. :( It's a revelation that has caused another Dark Night of the Soul, from which I hope I can pull out of, because I understand now, it is an intergenerational thing, which goes back several generations (maybe more!), and MUST END with me.
@cece9770 love this comment! ❤🎉
Wow. Dear Dog...did this beautiful talented and wise Alanis Morisette just say that she identified with many traits of (Quiet BPD)?? I have even more respect for her now, for standing above the stigma that most attach to the DSM 'labels.'
Dad died suddenly a month after I turned five. Mom tried to turn me into him. At 72, I'm multi-degreed, published, married & widowed, and still suffering from Mom..
Ms. Moristte has been a constant, and stable presence throughout my life.
How is it possible that I dreamed this conversation just one month ago?
I had a sudden strong desire to listen to Jagged Little Pill for days, and while I was doing so in a very mindful way, I just wished she could have a conversation with Dr Ramani. This is beyond amazing.
Thank you both and everyone making this happen ❤
But isn't it ironic😂
What a treat! The Artist who penned the lyrics that helped me even to understand narcissism was a thing many moons ago (I'm 48) having a conversation with the person whose videos I have found very valuable in helping me to understand toxic humans and how to protect myself from them. I love this, thank you.
So similar here. 45, and have a child with a high functioning Cluster B
Im a psychologist and my husband got involved in his company with the poster boy for cluster B personality disorders - indeed - a person who I consider to be a 'dark triad' . Sadly, this person managed to take over my husbands company and 'coming for us' legally / financially for several years. To understand the modus operandi and how destructive this person is has saved us from going quite mad. Listening often to Dr Ramani on the regular has been like getting coaching. We have needed that reinforcement that the person we are dealing with is never going to suddenly realise their behaviour is destructive and abnormal has helped us in our attempts to remain sane and survive. I feel like a I can better help those who have experienced orchestrated narcissistic attack - although its pretty draining to have to go through it for myself. I wonder If I will personally ever get to a place when I can talk about it without feeling like I have been run over by a truck.
I feel the same way. Unfortunately, when I look back in retrospect, there's no good way to avoid these people. They are everywhere. Parents, siblings, "friends," spouses, kids, co-workers, caregivers....... from cradle to grave. They're everywhere.
Well, this is a TOTALLY wild hook up as I like Alanis Morissette's music and of course... Dr. Ramani is able to describe and articulate my 66 years of life having been raised by an NPD parent.
Wow wow wow. One of the most healing conversations I’ve heard in a long time. ❤❤ Thank youuuu both
I just LOVE you Alanis!!! Thank you for sharing your gifts and wisdom with us❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
I can't imagjne how many NPD's etc., Alannis has met in her time.
Is great to see it being explained for broader audiences.
I think it important to shine a bright light of clarity .
OMG! I’m so happy to find this video. Alanis is one of the awakened ones!! Yay!!! Another reason to be a fan! Isn’t it ironic? 😅
I am listening to this now and am stunned Dr. Ramani and Ms. Alanis are in a video about this stuff together. What a connection!
lovely to listen to - thanks for doing it!
i grew up with a covert narc mother, and alanis said somewhere something about lacking sense of self. i can relate SO much to that. fortunately for me, my mom's dead since over 20 years, but still, it took me a looong, long time to unlearn and relearn, and to find that sense of self. i do have it now, and i'll never let it go.
Alanis, thank you for your music and for continuing to share your path with us mortals. And BTW, there is NO new Alanis Morissette. There will never be another. You changed everything, and I hope the price wasn’t too high. Love and light
still looking as gorgeous as you did in 1996,when i saw you first, Alanis...your music,voice and calming reassurance is as beguiling as ever.
Lisa Simson Karl Rudolf simrock
What a charmer. Run Alanis!
@@phaedrus7971 lol nope just a fan
Just another SIMP's son......
I wouldn't have recognized her. And it strikes me as odd how she consistently looks up to the ceiling, when talking, the interrupting, talking over, talking w/ hands, etc. Although Dr. Ramani is very knowledgeable on the subject, the similar inabilty to sit still, & "crazy eyes" is distracting. In any case, Alanis' song, "Thank You" actually got me teary-eyed, once I began meditating. Thank you, Alanis.
Half Hungarian girl!....so awesome people are channelling into personality disorders....welcome to the club Alanis! Love you Dr Ramani...book is great.
I am trying to imagine an alternative world in which Dr. Ramani had decided not to take her message online. Thank goodness she didn't just stick to academic research and clinical practice. Shows like this, and others reach many who need the knowledge. Thank you for this in-depth conversation. Helpful and illuminating. Nuanced and kind. ❤
Ki csoda (a fel Magyar lany)?
49:49 this one confused me (I wish I knew how to search the comment thread in case this is already been posed!) she mentions anxious avoidant, but then queries if disorganized is a risk factor (I reckon Dr r pivoted to what would be the same answer as they are synonymous)
@@SPSHSP Alanis fél magyar…
Alanis is such a beautiful person and so is Dr. Ramani. So glad we have awareness of this condition.
I used to drive up to Port Angeles WA. in 96' delivering paint and listened to her CD there and back. What wonderful memories. Interesting I was definitely in the throws of these dynamics but had no clue then. How interesting!!! Time and space.
I used to live in Port Angeles too. Small world! Just wanted to say hello and I pray for your peace and healing. Mine too. ❤
I love Port Angeles. I live across the Strait of Juan De Fuca on Vancouver Island 😊
@@BLB-mf8kkTHANK YOU 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
@@jenniferfrances8793😊🙏🏼
@@jenniferfrances8793😊
I think Alanis is probably the smartest interviewer Dr Ramani ever had. What an insightful interviewer she is!!
Whaaat! This is amazing! 💚 Dr Ramani is one of the most amazing people on this planet.
Yes she is.
Those of us who have experienced/studied the behavior can spot them quickly, often with one look. Super, overly (trying too hard) "charming"
loud people are very easy to spot. You can hear them coming. When they observe that you are not impressed (or falling for) their act, the smear will amplify. When the majority becomes aware, and the sick accept treatment, hopefully fewer enablers will be fighting/tormenting us.
Thank you for taping this.
They’re corny losers lmao
Painful when she mentions about someone stealing money from you because she actually lived that. 😢😢 Very necessary conversation. Alanis is gifted in so many ways. A huge addition to this world !!!!
Despite the unpleasant topic discussed in the video, the conversation itself is a pure pleasure to follow. And the pleasure comes from Alanis’s genuine interest in the topic which made her well prepared for the discussion. The nowadays social environment in the West culture is screaming in despair to have such honest discussions about multiple topics, for example: the devastating effect the scientism has on the social fabric causing unprecedented scale of social alienation… Anyway. Thank you, Alanis! I love you endlessly my little sister and I send you the warmest possible greetings from Europe!
Brilliant insights from both! My narc is very self satisfied and certain of his spiritual superiority and can hold forth for quite a long time about his ‘adventures’ in this realm while keeping a group spellbound. I’ve realized I must always keep my thoughts and experiences secret if I don’t want them mocked. Somethings are too precious to share. Like we’re often told, don’t cast your pearls before swine.
Wow! I’m so grateful for my mother, she was the opposite of a narcissist. Being her daughter has always been such an honor. Also that was so intense I’m exhausted.
I need to sleep on all this and let it digest! Much thanks for the words and being present for sharing your compassion.
Awe, that's truly wonderful. You are so blessed.
17:48 and already I pause this vid to sit in silence in order to truly absorb the amazing conversation & information up to this point. What a gift this is and I already see myself watching it multiple times even though I’m working through it for the very first. THANK YOU ladies for sharing this. I could not be more grateful. 🙏🏻 ❤❤🙏🏻 Deeply grateful.
My sentiments exactly - sitting in silence on several replays.
Alanis has an incredibly organized mind. she packed 6, 7 , 8 , 9 talks into a single talk, she got it all in. Amazing.
Uma Thurmann's artwork now, is as important to me as Kimberly Shannon Murphy. I'm not into using competition as a leg up
but I'm also not into the appearance of team work, for sake of control.
Alanis- you are amazing. Godsend. Gratitude. Thank you Dr. Ramani as well!
Wonderful interview Alanis, you clearly understand this topic far too well and I’m sorry for that. You deserve far better from everyone. From experience I know that actual intimacy is impossible with a narcissistic person and you nailed it when you mentioned an emptiness. I noticed that almost immediately but I thought I could “fix” it. I know now that it cannot be fixed and if it could be, it’s not up to me to do.
I’ve subscribed and look forward to seeing more of what you share with us. Thank you again. And thank you Dr Ramani, your insights are immeasurably helpful!
Two of my favourite women in this World ❤❤❤❤ What a gift you both are. Love you!
Intellectual intercourse! Thank you for this engaging discussion, Dr. Ramani Durvasala and Alanis! 💞
Wow 🥹
I was raised by a narcissistic stepmother. It was a very lonely struggle as a kid and young adult. To this day, the struggle still continues.
It is so comforting to hear this being talked about more and more.
Thank you. 🕯️✨
Same here, my step mother was terrible
@@mercedesvallar3384 You have my sympathy. At times it can feel like being lost at sea without a friend. 🕯️
Alanis! I have been a fan of your music for minimum of the last 10 yrs. and beyond. Exactly from your lyric you have always ignited my curiosity regarding all the complexities of narcassism, its nuances and rollercoasters and to learn and gather more info to make better decesions. Dr. Ramni, I have been a student of yours for the last five years and you have been an incredible healing pivotal resource of education in so many ways. So grateful to you for all your work and advocacy of human behavior and what makes ys all tick. I compliment you both for such collaboration sharing your thoughts and the making of this broadcast. You two together mesh and embody eacjh other so beautifully in your conversation> It is absolutely incredible to engage in such informed canidates the flow so well with guidance and enlightenment. Such professional articulation and excellent intelligent effective conveyance of practical and pragmatic views you reveal all of our "Humaness" so amazingly! Kudos and namaste to you both🙂♥✨🙏 THANK YOU! I Survived BDP Post Trauma Dissociate disorders !!
Alanis is definitely categorizing the people she's had to deal with :) I would too!
Alanis I’m so excited you have brought back your podcast. I love these so much, they have been extremely valuable to me on my journey. I would love if you had Eckhart Tolle on your podcast someday that would be a dream come true for me!
Yes Eckhart says it all
This is a huge synchronicity. I just binged your podcast and woke up to a new episode. Please continue with this series. I feel you have so much to offer in this space
Thank you Alanis for this passionate insightful interview with my favourite therapist Dr Ramani. I want to encourage you to keep these types of conversations going. Our world needs celebs with a passionate curiosity to plunge deep into mental health complexities mixed with relational, social complexities that manifest therefrom. And most of all lets talk about solutions to the complexities. I believe "Attachment Theory" would be a very poignant topic in this regard and even deeper and more expansive in awareness if we also include mental health diagnosises noted in the Dsm5. Bless 🙌 🌱🌳🌺
Amen! Dr.Ramani is truly doing GODS work, a gift from God I thank everytime for leading me to Dr.Ramanis you tube in 2022. So much Love for her saving me someone she had never met. There is a special place in heaven for her.
Not what I expected to have come into my UA-cam mix today, really cool!
Thank you for having and airing this conversation. It's so hard to live with one with many of these traits for a long period of time.
I'm trying to get away from one but it's very difficult.
Don't waste any more of your precious years, get away, you will not regret it. God bless.
Alanis! What a great interview! Thank you. I've been following Dr. Ramani for a while now, but never latched on the the words that you spoke "lack of curiosity". I was not versed and unaware of narcissism during my 30 year marriage to one, however became stunned during 9-11 at his lack of empathy. 'Lack of curiosity' will now be my second bell weather. Thank God he left me after 30 years when I think he realized I had his 'number'. After that I realized my father was also a narcissist and that I was pre-conditioned.
Thanks for a unique interview. I have been following Dr Ramani for years (I'm a clinical psychologist) and watch her interviews but notice people keep asking her very basic questions about narcissism. Thanks for having a bigger discussion about other PDs, particularly BPD and complex trauma as that's an area I work in a lot.
Thank you Alanis. I discovered Dr. Ramani also in search of insight and support dealing with a covert narc in my family. What a surprise to see you are a student of hers as well! I love you both. Thanks for sharing!
Sooooooooooo glad to have you back!!!!! Thank you for all of your wisdom, and compassion 💖💖💖💖💖🙌you truly inspire the greatest healing ❤️🩹
Alanis. I freakin love you. The only artist I've cared to see or meet in 30 years. I tried suggesting your song Narcissist on Dr Ramanis channel a few years ago. So happy to see you together. I feel like Alanis was my intro to narcissism AND spirituality. And thank God she was there. I also have to say semiunrelated, the most beautiful parts of all your songs to me is the crying out notes and the flute and harmonica solos. They all have their own feeling and each one to me feels like a sometimes painful call to God. And has been a great release for me when I don't have words.
I am such a fan of both of you Dr.Ramani you have helped me so very much! Alanis, TY for this incredible collaboration of such an important topic! I truly am grateful for this conversation between the 2 of you as it was so informative and has so much gravity that resonates within me. Keep up the good work of self love and healing Alanis as I am inspired by your transparency and spirit! Dr. Ramani, words cannot express how very much you have helped me, especially last year. You are a gift from above for so many! Sending 🤍 to you both! ~ Love~Levity~& Light🕊️🕊️🕊️~Amy~
My friend, you are the best singer I have ever seen.,. I simply love you ❤️
I’m so happy to see you this morning, I’m always excited to listen to you and your amazing guests breakdown topics of interest!! You are my hero I hope to have the honor of shaking your hand and thanking you in person before I die !! ~blessings
Saying we can't change IS a narcissistic trait. I LOVE how you looked into the camera when you realized just who you were talking to. WE can change & it's this ability that scares them the most because they cannot! Love you girl, I see your shine!
I just stumbled into here. Alanis on camera for an an hour? She has a channel where this is what she does?? What did I do to deserve such generosity???
I hang on her every word due to her clear genuineness (as opposed to the vast vast vast majority of others I know in the business). So I've jumped on it every time I've seen her interviewed. But ... now this ... whoa !!!
Alanis! Ive been a fan since Jagged Little Pill! So awesome you have Dr.Ramani on, this is an important topic!
Robert Sapolsky and his research on stress is very important to this subject we all know too well. I know a lot about it, as I've lived it my whole life of 53 years. Right out of the gate, youngest of nine.
Yes!
What awesome humans you both are ❤ your discussion made me think about what the future may hold as awareness around these issues improves…for one to one relationships (between narcissists and non-narcissists) but also for group dynamics and larger societal shifts…. If a group/society yellow rocks someone/certain characteristics (and rightly so to protect themselves) what will the narcissists do? will this lead to more narcissists reducing their abusive behaviours and perhaps seeking more help? I hope so ❤
I'm a 48 year old man. Jagged Little Pill came out when I was 20 in university and the cool kids listened to it. By the time I was working in London at 25, Under Rug Swept came out. It took me years to realise it was about gaslighting. For some reason this song comes into my head about once a week. I think my dad acts like the character in the song. 'If it wasn't for me you wouldn't have been successful'. Im a student of literature. From a composition standpoint its so clever the way Alanis speaks the words of the manipulator from the past, then answers the manipulator in the present.
I'm 51-years-old, and I've noticed that people my age are starting to deal with aging parents, and realizing that having to go back to take care of them, I'm finding out why I left. Manipulation. I didn't have a name for it, but now I do, and so many things in my childhood make sense now. My parents were narcissists, constantly trying to uphold their "false self." And now in their old age, they are STILL holding onto their false self. My father had three car accidents before he finally stopped driving. :( The aging narcissist will NOT accept that they are anything less than the delusion they have of themselves in their heads. It's dangerous. My mother-in-law was not like this. She stopped driving on her own, after an accident that wasn't even her fault. My dad only finally stopped driving when my uncle flattered him that he was wanting to buy a RAV4 for a long time. The narcissistic supply from my uncle's flattery was what convinced my dad to sell his car. So totally different from my empathic mother-in-law who realized she wasn't having as good reaction times as she used to have. She had no delusions.
I am not sure if this resonates with other viewers, but it is so refreshing to see one of my favourite musicians have this sort of conversation with an author of such calibre. This convergence explains why I enjoy the music and the lyrics so much, whilst going through similar experiences in life. Thank you both!
You might already, but Dr. Ramani is a psychologist/arthur.
Dr. Ramani has THE most keen knowledge of narcissism.
[You really think she is more insightful than Prof. Sam Venkin? I consider her manipulative and shallow. Ever seen any of the videos by sam venkin and/or the ones about ramani being a fragile narcissist? Be careful if you've experienced abuse like this you're highly susceptible to being fooled by people like ramani. ]
because she IS A NARCISSIST
@@gethelp6271 Dr. Ramani is a loving, caring person. I believe that, I know that and I am holding my decision on that. Go try to influence someone else. Its not working on me.
@@sunnievictoria9917 Dr. Ramani is a wise, keen, educated individual on narcissism. My opinion, perception, whatever you want to call it, is not changing. Go try to influence someone else. It’s not working on me. I take care of myself and what decisions I make about anything in my life, not you. Thank you.
2 of my favorite people ever having a conversation about the most important subject of our day. So glad this popped up in my feed! ❤
Grateful to hear the two of you luminaries share in detail these mental health issues we are ALL affected by. I have been following Dr Ramani on UA-cam for a while- Thank you both for shedding light on these complex human behaviors. More, please.
Accountability is strength of character and narcissistic people do not understand this. It ignites shame and guilt within them and instead of dealing with problems head on they run from them and deflect. This is where i had to draw the line because you will spend your life in a lopsided relationship.
Love you so much Alanis I have been singing your music since I was quite young and still do and I'm nearly 40 your music touches my soul ❤
i'm glad this artist went in this direction
Alanis Morisette is cool.Always sane songs.❤
My phone died. I’m actually feeling tired. I was so excited to see Alanis but maybe watch the rest when I feel rested up.
I didn’t ghost anyone:).
I’m actually recovering from the awakening and feel confident in life- It looks like it will take momentum before I am back to the crazy energetic self I had.
All my best regards.
Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented. Thank you Dr. R.
This August 2024 will be two years zero contact. It took about two years for me to be 100% sure that I was doing the right thing because I knew that zero contact with my mom would alienate me from a lot of my family. Or at least make things quite uncomfortable in a family where we were all raised to put a smile on our face.
In addition, over the past 4-5 years I’ve had to end some friendships because I’m a rockstar when it comes to codependency, people pleasing, forgiveness… I love to compliment people and build them up. At one point during my healing journey, I began to wonder if I was actually creating narcissists. Lol!
Thank you both!🙏🏼💕
Two of my favorite powerful women on the planet having a conversation about such an important topic! 🎉🎉❤❤
I have often wondered if narcissism is a degree of demonic possession in extreme cases...great conversation thank you, so much love to you both❤
@indiglowgirl809 From my experience they are easily influenced by demonic entities. And so yes, it’s as though they are truly possessed. Their eyes even change and their expression is one of cruelty.
Absolutely. I’ve spent the last 10 years researching this and that the only conclusion I can draw.
So deeply appreciative for this conversation… thank you, my friend!!
This conversation about this topic comes in the right time: thank you! ❤️
Thank you very much for this conversation. It brings a lot of light into this complicated human interactions. I hope this goes viral. ❤
I imagine these are a lot of work but I really really wish these could be done more often. It’s so informative and interesting. Thank you for bringing this to us!
She has a whole series of podcasts they're all amazing!
@@ellyfish13 yep 👍🏽 😊
@@ellyfish13 Yes, every single one of them is amazing!!!
The key to narcissism is this.
Don't give them love, they have no use for it.
Exactly! Don't give them ANYTHING. There will never ever be any appreciation or understanding of true generosity coming from a genuine heart. They are and always will be a waste of space and time.
Oh, they do have a use for love. They use it as a means of manipulation and control.
What a great conversation! I love you both. Alanis, thank you for your new album, “the storm before the calm”. Perfectly needed.
Your depth comes out in your music! Love that. It speaks to me. ❤
Huge fan of Alanis and really happy to see her with Dr. Ramani, being concerned about Narcissism. Most of artists and stars are narcissists in general and great to see your idol worrying about that happily as a normal person.
As these two wise ladies said -- the business/ industry is one where narcissism gets hugely rewarded; it's almost a job requirement 😢
All we LOVE you Alanis!!! ❤❤❤❤❤
Alanis and Ramani......loved this discussion. Best tidbit ... Start yellow rocking over grey rocking!!!! 🌻
I am so excited for this conversation, oh my goddess. ❤
Be Strong enough to be honest and kind