Lovely Video clip! Apologies for the intrusion, I am interested in your initial thoughts. Have you researched - Millawdon Varied Nights Trick (probably on Google)? It is a good exclusive product for learning intimate questions to make your relationship stronger without the hard work. Ive heard some awesome things about it and my mate at last got astronomical results with it.
Lovely Video! Excuse me for the intrusion, I would appreciate your initial thoughts. Have you researched - Millawdon Varied Nights Trick (erm, check it on google should be there)? It is a smashing one off guide for learning intimate questions to make your relationship stronger without the headache. Ive heard some interesting things about it and my mate after many years got excellent success with it.
Nice video content! Apologies for the intrusion, I am interested in your opinion. Have you heard about - Millawdon Varied Nights Trick (should be on google have a look)? It is a good one of a kind guide for learning intimate questions to make your relationship stronger minus the headache. Ive heard some super things about it and my GF finally got excellent success with it.
Excellent Video clip! Sorry for butting in, I would appreciate your opinion. Have you researched - Millawdon Varied Nights Trick (probably on Google)? It is a smashing exclusive product for learning intimate questions to make your relationship stronger minus the headache. Ive heard some awesome things about it and my buddy at last got excellent results with it.
Great talk. I’ve been a Relationship Coach for the past 20 years. One of the first questions I started asking my clients and couples was: “Would you date yourself?” They always laugh and then admit they wouldn’t. That is where we start.
I would. I’m not perfect but willing and wanting to work together and grow. I am ready to unravel what is happening in the dynamics and heal those wounds. I had this realization after a huge fight that I acted so badly, but I knew that it is already forgiven and I’m ready to work on it. And that’s how I show up for myself.
Absolutely powerful. This is the reason I have been single for so long. So few people want to do the work or even understand that they are not whole. I refuse to be a rehabilitation centre for a broken soul who is not on the same path of enlightenment as I.
I thought I understood Dr. Shefali to say we just need to rehabilitate our selves with or without the other person joining in. We can control our responses. So it need not be "bad" if he/she is not ready to evolve.
Hi Can You Explain A Little More on this?Surely There are Multitudes Of people who R whole?????? aND Not screqwded up up LIKE THE REST of U>S>>>>????HMMMM???? Answer me this....why do we choose to live in a world with only two choices ...good/bad etc....u got me???...also by refusing .. is it possible that you are prolonging what u need or what ur soul is calling u 2 do.......when someone ask's for help it is the universe calling YOU THRU THAT Individual/.........yes/// NO????? ...Eternal Blessings To You!!!
We were outliers, my husband and I. After two combative first years, and leaving the fourth visit to our marriage counselor, I stopped in the hall leading away from her office, looked up at my husband and said, “I see. It’s me. I’ll do what I can to change this behavior.” We spent 33 more blissful, conflict-free years together until he passed away. Self-awareness can be quite valuable.
Wow me and my husband are having so much trouble, no intimacy, no talk nothing except kids or mil related stuff. He does not share anything. He just come to me for his physical needs( that’s what I feel). I am so pissed at him. I have enrolled myself in to therapy but did not think couple therapy would be this helpful.
"Culture tells us to get married, but culture doesn't tell us to 'marry your truth, marry your authentic self, marry your inner liberation, and become your freedom before you seek it outside'. If I am going to be consciously intimate with another, it can only mean one thing: FREEDOM" 👏👏👏 You are magnificent, Dr. Shefali!
"Capitalism is predicted on unworthiness... Don't you think we should be so terrified of something called.. artificial? We don't even have natural intelligence." MIC DROP. 👏🏽
Be kind to yourself when taking this in. Do not be so hard one yourself. Do not judge urself, love yourself. I am leaving divorcing my husband, I will never say it was right for him to abuse me , it was not my fault. But moving forward I am filling up my soul full of love and light, you are I am enough. Your happy ending rely's in you :). Mother urself, love u and give urself allowance to be loved, love that inner child. We are all a work in progress. God Bless you
Good luck on your journey to healing and growth, sorry to hear about your divorce, you can thank this chapter in your life for how strong you'll become.
Jennifer Anand, my mother taught me " we teach people how to treat us". So therefore we have to take some responsibility in fault if we have been abused in any relationship.
This video changed my whole day. In the last year I’ve started to understand how my mind and body feels when I feel like I’m lacking intimacy or connection, and I’ve learned that the feeling comes when I’m not taking care of myself (rather than pointing at someone and having a tantrum because “you’re not taking care of me”). So I sought out more content on intimacy so I can go inward and this was perfectttt. I am mastering connectedness to myself. Thank you for helping with the journey!!!
@@MulattoMovement that is a statement of labels. Labels are all a construction of the mind to make a concept of good or bad. She’s being her authentic self, she’s not being what someone decides she is of labeling of good or bad. I think you are missing the point. There are barriers in language that prevent understanding as well as our ability to hear and see without our mind chiming in with a label with of what already is.
"We are not in a relationship with others until we wake up! Who are we in a relationship with? With pieces of your unresolved, unfulfilled broken part of you, seeking for completion...you are seeking for completion in the outside world, yearning to be unified with yourself integrated into the whole." Amazing Dr. Shefali, have been learning a lot from you. Big admirer of your work. Thank you Mindvalley :)
They’re a place of refuge and nourishment, deep connection and understanding. They make life easier, not harder. And even through the tough times, the strongest relationships weather the inevitable ups and downs with a sense of purpose and meaning. The problem is, very few of us are experiencing this. We’re simply not taught how. Instead, we stumble our way through, trying to work it out as we go along. With plenty of heartbreak, disappointment, and conflict along the way.
Wow, this woman has clarified "the pattern" in a matter of fact way that knocked me off my self pitying thrown! We are all such works in progress or in stagnation.
Damn, this girl can preach!!! One of the best speeches I’ve heard in awhile! We need more of this type of message sent out into that world for people to hear 👏
What Dr. Shefali said was so deep. I may not fully understand it right now, but it makes me yearn to know who I truly am and be it. I feel that this is exactly what we need in the world today. “If you truly loved another you would truly liberate the other, because when you love another what you really mean by that, in the transcendent sense, is that you so honor their being because you so honor your being.”
This is TRULY the best speech/talk/information I have come across in the last couple of years. I keep shaking my head in astonishment, I REALLY needed every word she expressed!! Thank you mindvalley and the incredible Dr.Shefali!!✨
Same here 3rd relationship. I realize though over a year ago that I have attrack that type of person because of who I am. she is so right about our childhood plays big role in our decisions as an adult. But definitely I am on the path of growth self-acceptance and self-love for 5 years already my view of life has changed 90 degrees. I accept my husband for who he is. I can't change him. I strive everyday to improve myself. blessings to you my dear.
As a practitioner of Nichiren Buddhism Dr Shefali's thoughts are very familiar, but presented in a very thought provoking style. It is the manner of her presentation that makes me shudder about how broken we all are especially my own self. We must undertake this journey of self awareness and understand our wholeness and beauty to be able to liberate ourselves and others in our life.
Fantastic message! Now I can walk around and ask each person I meet “ have you done your inner healing”? Staying home alone during Covid for 4 months in Italy, forced me into that inner work and it’s ongoing, but it is a beautiful feeling. I had to be happy alone. That was so scary!! Thank you your message really hit me right on!
Love this! Celebrate that you hv divorced your false self! We are not taught to be whole when seeking a partner, love the concept of marrying your authentic self and marrying your truth. Certainly was not aware of that at 28 years old.
Some of us have evolved ..She is only really saying what you will learn on a gut level if you stay alone long enough to heal . Then this just becomes awareness . It is just growing up .. you can listen to this all day long but to gain that awareness will mean treading your own difficult path .
This was really eye opening for me....becoming your own parent and learning to love yourself the way you were never loved. I loved the presenter, she was eloquent.
I try to understand and put perspective with word “unconditional love” and I think this talked represent the true meaning of unconditional love. You are such a amazing soul and way you speak is beautiful! Thank you
It’s hard to hear that I was the problem during my marriage by enabling how my ex treated me. However, I have been working on myself so much that I already have taken ownership of my silence. I was taught early on to be silent and not defend myself. I carried this into adulthood and did not speak up for myself once I was put in my place multiple times and realized that my voice was neither heard nor desired. I then set out to try and honor my commitment and hoped that if I allowed him to do as he wished, he’d be happy, and then treat me well. This didn’t work and in my stubbornness and desire not to fail, I wasted many years in silence. I have slowly become more vocal but still will fall back into this pattern. On my own path now, I am finding myself, taking time for myself, and carefully allowing others into my life.
Luv it, it really show me how disconectes people are in these day and I am not so crazy to aware of this culturescape and find way to liberate myself as a human being :). Thank you so much Mindvalley.
You are the most AMAZIiNG PERSON -A Treasure gifted to us. What a beautiful contribution you are making to awaken us all to be true authentic people. So impressed! Many blessings - much love sent to you from Ireland.
I really enjoyed this wonderful and utterly truthful talk, thank you! Dr Shefali was absolutely on point. And how stunningly beautiful she looks, by the way. One thing I would say is that I clicked on this talk because of the 'how to' in the title. From watching this, however, I'd call it a 'what is' true intimacy. And it certainly is what she says it is. Namaste xox
I want to believe that everyone in the audience is now a super couple, super parents and awakened living their truth as a result of this talk. Idealism aside, this talk is POWERFUL. PLEASE watch till the end.
OMG !! A complete revolution going on in my mind. Thank you so much 💕 Just a small request- Kindly try to make a video on an ideal behaviour of ourselves with sone examples to have more clarity and future reprimanding
After many years of inner turmoil and working very hard in searching for the way out, I came to this wisdom. I just saw this video and dr. Shefali explains it absolutely excellent and with great integrity. I am deeply impressed of someone so capable of explaining this so well in shape and content, I haven't seen someone do this before. I am so very impressed, strong deliverance and her passion to spread the word of Truth is so very commendable. Thank you 🌼🦗
Oh My Gawd... This is Mind Blowing, I am Clapping and Crying, |I am in the beginning go a new relationship and this will probably save it from getting into a loop.
I have blamed myself many times & still dont have the help!! Is so difficult getting the correct help!!!! Who am I?? This is brilliant THANKYOU!! somebody gets its!! 🙏❤
Has your x stolen your creative identity that makes you unique? Was he/she jealous of you, jerked you around, made you believe in their reality, rather then your own? It may explain why you've gone missing. Study Narcissism, which she mentions for it is a deeper subject, then that which is defined in the DSM-5 book, or the definition. There is plenty of info online via you-tube. Grow as the awesome person that you are & get to know yourself better. ~Enjoy!!
Great talk. Hard to absorb.. I don't know how many can survive watching this to the end but.. I'm glad there is this video for many of us to watch today because I believe our older generations did not come across these issues in our modern world. Great Wisdom and Sharing.. Thank You sincerely.
I have learned so much about relationships in my own. I have been divorced and then in a narcissistic relationship to find someone who taught me that I need to work on myself and let go of the past. I have seen that there is no point in being in a relationship unless it is a team dynamic. I am going to school to be a counselor and I have thought about couples therapy as one of my directions. It is really interesting in the different dynamics and how when we have blinders on we see ourselves as the victim until we open our eyes and see what we created.
Wow this talk is so brilliant. Im completely blown away by her intelligence and her unique message. Thank you Mindvalley & Dr. Shefali for spreading the wisdom.
What an eye opener, I have some work to do. I have learnt so much, I really needed to hear this today. I have been using others to fill the void. Thank you for sharing 💛
Such a great video!!!! Thank you dr Shefali. I feel like this was an important step in my self journey. I also shared it with my four daughters and all my closest friends! So great!
Yesss!!!!! Greatest life experience is knowing yourself!!! 💜🕊🦄 I always hear people say that the greatest experiences involve others, but being a meditator, yogi & teacher for the last couple of decades, I can say 1st hand that there's nothing like living totally aligned with yourself & your soul's true expression. Let's keep talking about these things!!!
The relationship you speak of here is that of my partner and I. My love left this Earth 11 weeks ago. My heart is both broken and full, broken as we no longer get to experience this beauty of our union in the physical realm but oh so full as the love we share I treasure each and every day. Shine on my lover, my best friend, my ONE. ❤
Author- Sheldon vanaken was a good friend of cs Lewis. I often wonder if their love story is possible. Interesting they called their love the Shining Barrier.
Loved this... The place I get stuck is in regards to touch. I can wrap my arms around myself or stroke my own head, but I cannot experience the energy exchange of touch with another, without an other... I can self massage aches and pains, but I cannot reach all parts of my body, nor lean my weight transfer into my body, because I must work against my own tension and not only does it not feel the same, but it doesn't get anywhere close to the same results. I simply cannot fix in my own tissue what I can for clients. I have to hire another therapist to work on me... So all of the inner work with self is necessary, but no matter how much solitude I go contemplating in, I cannot give these things to myself. They require someone outside of me to occur... So how the heck do I self source that?
You cannot really love another until you heal, so how the heck do you do that? I think you’re right on the $. Both are needed. To heal yourself sometimes we need to heal w another person as well. Ester Perel talks about how we can also heal and learn and unwind with another person, it just needs to be intentional with someone that is also open to talking an working through things. I think the distinction of creating more chaos and triggers vs conscious intimacy is made by first acknowledging our triggers and what our wounds are, “I feel _______ when someone does this_________”. What does that feeling remind you of in childhood either before moving into a relationship or when one ends is also a ripe moment for this practice. So for me I used to feel abandoned or unloved or not worthy when someone didn’t keep plans with me, didn't call back or was flaky. They may have their own busy schedule, an upset at work or with a loved one, or their own depression, anxiety or triggers they were working on. But before in my head, it was, ‘I’m not really lovable.’ Once I felt that fully, instead of distracted, or numbed or disengaged, or made myself wrong for it or beat myself up or felt guilty bc of my parents upbringing..all the should’s on myself (Lisa Nichols:) Just felt it, then I asked myself what feeling that felt like in childhood? It was clear that it was from my mom who wasn’t emotionally capable, and also my sister who was always hot and cold with me. I went through a meditation (Vishen’s 6 phase) where I engulfed the feeling of what I am grateful for, and then set up a forgiveness place with my guides and asked them that I only speak with love without any shame, blame or anger. I asked my mom and then my sister to come into the circle, and with each, I felt what I had felt, told them how it affected me.I envisioned them telling me their own hurts and wounds and that it was not intentional. I then envisioned this electric blue light coming out of my heart and theirs until I could just love them for who they are and envisioned them so happy, blessed and in beautiful relationships full of joy. (This is hard to do without first feeling fully the pain you felt) Everything comes up and out if you let it. If you keep numbing, distracting or disengaging, it keeps coming up or being a trigger. I did not get up from my meditation until I could just want to bless them everytime they popped into my head. This exercise was super powerful and the other I would suggest if you are triggered or have difficulties in relationships, (which we all do) is to then ask yourself what you needed as a child, deeply desire now and how to give it to yourself. So for me, my mom was never able to be a mom to me, and I envisioned my sister being someone that could be close with, but she was a child herself without a mom and didn’t want to have to deplete herself and be one to me. I wanted connection and closeness and someone that felt like a mom and someone that felt like a sister. So I made a point of making friends with women that could be like sisters, and looked at how I can also support and love them. (MAKE SURE THEY ARE STABLE and fill their own cup up as well most of the time.) I also intentionally sought out older women that we could share this space of their wisdom and my youth, and I made the effort by continuing to call and text and open up and be soft. In this way you can heal with other people, it is with stable people that are aware of their own wounds and have found some modalities to heal, and by asking yourself how you are showing up in the relationship you have created with them. Try it out, would love your feedback!! It has made me not fear my own voice or rocking the boat when my needs are not met, and helped really heal that space of desire for connection for me, so that in a romantic relationship I am both giving and receiving, asking how I am showing up as well as what we both need. I don’t feel triggered anymore when someone has their own life, and have compassion now as well as able to speak to my needs without a blowout.
@Amber: ask the universe to hold you and support at night when you're feeling alone in bed. It sounds weird, but it works. I've been single for 4 years after a nearly 11 year severely abusive relationship, sometimes nights are really hard. I ask the universe to hold me and make me feel loved. A sense of peace comes over me every time. I also ask and pray for clarity on how i can be connected and supported on the deepest level of my being.
@@practical.emotions Thank you so much for such a beautifully detailed reply. It sounds like we're drawn to similar circles. In my childhood, as the middle girl between two boys, I ached for a sister. I fell in love with The Parent Trap movie and I wished it was possible that I could go off to camp and discover she existed, but my parents were together, so I told myself since it's not possible to be a twin, I wanted to have them one day... And I did. By myself. My mom was great when I was little, before our roles reversed. She had purpose with little ones. Once we didn't need her as much, she lost herself and I became the parent. So much of my childhood wounds, I've set out to face and heal, but there seems to be more to it than awareness and a choice to forgive... I mean, everything that happened makes sense. The mistaken conclusions I drew in my innocent child mind and even the challenge I presented them felt softer when I imagined it from the perspective of being a parent myself. I found a space of compassion, and blame no longer feels appropriate. The story only serves to understand how my journey has evolved... And with all of that, I still drew the experience of reactivating the pain of the inguinal hernia I had at age 5, and there was nothing my logical mind could to manage the flood of guilt and shame the physical pain released... There I was, 37 years later, thinking I'd healed and released those emotions, but there they were, completely hijacking my body and mind. It leaves me feeling a little bit lost, in a good way... Because I've set out to heal and grow and serve others. I've been at it a long time, and now must admit I need help, because all of my best efforts have lead me to keep repeating the lessons. And there's nothing wrong with picking up a school book and seeing how much self-learning one can manage, only to realize they need the help of a teacher to comprehend it... So that's where I'm at. I know I like myself. I thought I loved myself too. I learned I have only scratched the surface and I need some guidance to help me understand how to grow from liking to loving myself. You seem like a wonderful influence. It's hard to connect thru UA-cam, but if you want to connect through fb, you can shoot me a message thru my page... You can only friend me if we have a friend in common. If not, there's only an option to follow, but if you PM me I can request you... No attachments. Just an invitation, cuz I really like your energy and your willingness to share so authentically. facebook.com/amberscott24
This is excellent information. I do not know how to fix where we are because 5 years is a long time. When your partner will not get help from a doctor, we cannot be fixed.
She's right on the money with a good vantage point of observing this over and over again in her practice. Once you start searching for ways to heal yourself, to know yourself, etc., there are many paths to awakening.... it is a journey and you have to trust your intuition upon who to open to -- Careful of people wanting to trap you into expensive processes/series/sessions, in order to get free --- doesn't have to go that way --
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I thoroughly enjoyed this, she has put words to the feelings I have about this work we all need to do for ourselves, partners and children. Incredible how you put it into understandable concepts. The blindspots we all have with this work makes it that uch more challenging. And yes it is alway easier to blame someone else and not assume responsibility. To responsibility, blindspots, figuring out our wholeness, authenticity, thank you,
Yeah, I see this the same way. You can only set all roots within yourself and reparent yourself. By giving yourself all this love. You are your first priority. Nobody is needy when you have found yourself.
This was so amazing ❤️ Loved it! Dr. Shefali touched upon so many vital aspects of life, love and relationships. The thoughts resonated with me on some deeper level. Every word and every thought was powerful. Thank you so much for such an enlightening and insightful session.❤️ So wanted to hear this. 😊👏👏
WOW‼️ She is so right on 😘‼️ Very passionate speaker❗️Our lack of intimacy with ourselves is the root of so many of our problems. When you start to awaken and realize that your whole life has been based on the superficial regarding the human condition of selfishness, arrogance, ignorance, which promotes lack of love and understanding for pretty much anything that is different than you, AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, that way of life takes us away from the deeper purpose for us being here on this planet❗️ How about realizing how vulnerable animals are vs. human beings, and cleaning up our beautiful planet, and just basing at least part of our life on helping others. If we took all the free time we have JUST watching TV and made it our business to help the less fortunate, cleaning up our beautiful planet, HELPING ANIMALS, we don't even realize how unconscious and horrible we are to them.......that would make a dent in the problems in the world. We can exist with a lot less stuff, a lot less money, and a lot less ego. We are raised in this western society where it is condoned to be very unconscious with the unimportant like consumerism, getting ahead at the cost of others and our planet, all the addictions to escape and be distracted from this precious life which we were given⁉️ A large part of our world needs to awaken for future generations to make it on this planet...can we do it? We start by each and everyone of us having enough courage and love for ourselves and others, to start the process of accepting/loving ourselves which will open our eyes to the problems in the world which need our support. It is hard to dig down to try and clear out the confusion and crap in ourselves. But also very profound AND a great way to spend our lives, and it will OPEN OUR HEARTS AND MINDS 💟☯️☮️
So incredibly insightful…but rarely understood by most. Can be somewhat depressing how far off from reality we can be….and led so strongly away by peoples focus on power or $.
Is one goal of leveling up in consciousness to stop needing to be needed by our lover? If so, what would be the reason to stay together with anyone, if we don't need anyone? I'm truly wondering this.
Become a Mindvalley Member now and get access to the world's only transformational platform anytime, anywhere 👉 go.mindvalley.com/ASFR4a2k
Lovely Video clip! Apologies for the intrusion, I am interested in your initial thoughts. Have you researched - Millawdon Varied Nights Trick (probably on Google)? It is a good exclusive product for learning intimate questions to make your relationship stronger without the hard work. Ive heard some awesome things about it and my mate at last got astronomical results with it.
I love you so much for the work you are doing for the word I would love to be a member to be a part of this blessing see you soon
Lovely Video! Excuse me for the intrusion, I would appreciate your initial thoughts. Have you researched - Millawdon Varied Nights Trick (erm, check it on google should be there)? It is a smashing one off guide for learning intimate questions to make your relationship stronger without the headache. Ive heard some interesting things about it and my mate after many years got excellent success with it.
Nice video content! Apologies for the intrusion, I am interested in your opinion. Have you heard about - Millawdon Varied Nights Trick (should be on google have a look)? It is a good one of a kind guide for learning intimate questions to make your relationship stronger minus the headache. Ive heard some super things about it and my GF finally got excellent success with it.
Excellent Video clip! Sorry for butting in, I would appreciate your opinion. Have you researched - Millawdon Varied Nights Trick (probably on Google)? It is a smashing exclusive product for learning intimate questions to make your relationship stronger minus the headache. Ive heard some awesome things about it and my buddy at last got excellent results with it.
Great talk. I’ve been a Relationship Coach for the past 20 years. One of the first questions I started asking my clients and couples was: “Would you date yourself?” They always laugh and then admit they wouldn’t. That is where we start.
This ✨
I sure would… I’m one of the coolest people out there 😉
Fuck…I wouldn’t either lol
I would. I’m not perfect but willing and wanting to work together and grow. I am ready to unravel what is happening in the dynamics and heal those wounds. I had this realization after a huge fight that I acted so badly, but I knew that it is already forgiven and I’m ready to work on it. And that’s how I show up for myself.
Shalom! Eye opener! Hahahaha
Absolutely powerful. This is the reason I have been single for so long. So few people want to do the work or even understand that they are not whole. I refuse to be a rehabilitation centre for a broken soul who is not on the same path of enlightenment as I.
I thought I understood Dr. Shefali to say we just need to rehabilitate our selves with or without the other person joining in. We can control our responses. So it need not be "bad" if he/she is not ready to evolve.
@@dolphiner21 exactly what I'm trying to say...
Hi Can You Explain A Little More on this?Surely There are Multitudes Of people who R whole?????? aND Not screqwded up up LIKE THE REST of U>S>>>>????HMMMM???? Answer me this....why do we choose to live in a world with only two choices ...good/bad etc....u got me???...also by refusing .. is it possible that you are prolonging what u need or what ur soul is calling u 2 do.......when someone ask's for help it is the universe calling YOU THRU THAT Individual/.........yes/// NO????? ...Eternal Blessings To You!!!
Well said 👏 👏
@@dolphiner21 Amen
We were outliers, my husband and I. After two combative first years, and leaving the fourth visit to our marriage counselor, I stopped in the hall leading away from her office, looked up at my husband and said, “I see. It’s me. I’ll do what I can to change this behavior.” We spent 33 more blissful, conflict-free years together until he passed away. Self-awareness can be quite valuable.
Wow me and my husband are having so much trouble, no intimacy, no talk nothing except kids or mil related stuff. He does not share anything. He just come to me for his physical needs( that’s what I feel). I am so pissed at him. I have enrolled myself in to therapy but did not think couple therapy would be this helpful.
I had this realization last night
This is the most dangerous thing you can say in a relationship with an abuser. Make sure that's not the case before you say such a thing.
"Culture tells us to get married, but culture doesn't tell us to 'marry your truth, marry your authentic self, marry your inner liberation, and become your freedom before you seek it outside'. If I am going to be consciously intimate with another, it can only mean one thing: FREEDOM" 👏👏👏
You are magnificent, Dr. Shefali!
Just another anti-heteronormative masculine radical feminist
culture doesn't tell you to get married nor is there a secret conspiracy
I am now ready for the next phase of my journey. Freedom, Liberation and unequivocal unconditional wholeness of my soul.
Learned more in 37 minutes from her speech, than I ever have from school
"Capitalism is predicted on unworthiness...
Don't you think we should be so terrified of something called.. artificial? We don't even have natural intelligence."
MIC DROP. 👏🏽
Be kind to yourself when taking this in. Do not be so hard one yourself. Do not judge urself, love yourself. I am leaving divorcing my husband, I will never say it was right for him to abuse me , it was not my fault. But moving forward I am filling up my soul full of love and light, you are I am enough. Your happy ending rely's in you :). Mother urself, love u and give urself allowance to be loved, love that inner child. We are all a work in progress. God Bless you
well said
Good luck on your journey to healing and growth, sorry to hear about your divorce, you can thank this chapter in your life for how strong you'll become.
Thank very much everyone:)
Amen i am there
Jennifer Anand, my mother taught me " we teach people how to treat us". So therefore we have to take some responsibility in fault if we have been abused in any relationship.
This video changed my whole day. In the last year I’ve started to understand how my mind and body feels when I feel like I’m lacking intimacy or connection, and I’ve learned that the feeling comes when I’m not taking care of myself (rather than pointing at someone and having a tantrum because “you’re not taking care of me”). So I sought out more content on intimacy so I can go inward and this was perfectttt. I am mastering connectedness to myself. Thank you for helping with the journey!!!
This is the most intelligent talk I have ever heard about relationship .....
Yes, it's brilliant!
You must not know Esther yet. ;)
Just another anti-heteronormative masculine radical feminist
@@MulattoMovement that is a statement of labels. Labels are all a construction of the mind to make a concept of good or bad. She’s being her authentic self, she’s not being what someone decides she is of labeling of good or bad. I think you are missing the point. There are barriers in language that prevent understanding as well as our ability to hear and see without our mind chiming in with a label with of what already is.
@@natashabahler174 No markers or tags we used to organize information in our minds and our represented of reality to some degree.
"We are not in a relationship with others until we wake up! Who are we in a relationship with? With pieces of your unresolved, unfulfilled broken part of you, seeking for completion...you are seeking for completion in the outside world, yearning to be unified with yourself integrated into the whole."
Amazing Dr. Shefali, have been learning a lot from you. Big admirer of your work. Thank you Mindvalley :)
They’re a place of refuge and nourishment, deep connection and understanding. They make life easier, not harder.
And even through the tough times, the strongest relationships weather the inevitable ups and downs with a sense of purpose and meaning.
The problem is, very few of us are experiencing this. We’re simply not taught how.
Instead, we stumble our way through, trying to work it out as we go along. With plenty of heartbreak, disappointment, and conflict along the way.
Can something like this be taught or is this learned through trials and tribulation?
I’ve connected at so many levels, I had to go back several times to feel her words in the moment. So glad I came across this. 💕
Wow, this woman has clarified "the pattern" in a matter of fact way that knocked me off my self pitying thrown! We are all such works in progress or in stagnation.
Hello dear
I would have loved us to chat and become friends, Hope to hear from you soon
Damn, this girl can preach!!! One of the best speeches I’ve heard in awhile! We need more of this type of message sent out into that world for people to hear 👏
Genuinely one of the best talks I’ve ever heard. The answer to any “problem” is to walk the path of truly knowing thyself ❤
What Dr. Shefali said was so deep. I may not fully understand it right now, but it makes me yearn to know who I truly am and be it. I feel that this is exactly what we need in the world today.
“If you truly loved another you would truly liberate the other, because when you love another what you really mean by that, in the transcendent sense, is that you so honor their being because you so honor your being.”
I clicked on this at the exact moment that I need to hear this the most. Thanks for the wise words and enlightenment you've helped me achieve.
we want to listen her so more often,we need her,at least for confrontation of us with ourselves .
She is so beyond wise, and amazing perspective I am fan-girling hard right now
This is TRULY the best speech/talk/information I have come across in the last couple of years. I keep shaking my head in astonishment, I REALLY needed every word she expressed!! Thank you mindvalley and the incredible Dr.Shefali!!✨
I am living this discovery after divorce. She put it together so eloquently
Same here 3rd relationship.
I realize though over a year ago that I have attrack that type of person because of who I am. she is so right about our childhood plays big role in our decisions as an adult.
But definitely I am on the path of growth self-acceptance and self-love for 5 years already my view of life has changed 90 degrees. I accept my husband for who he is. I can't change him.
I strive everyday to improve myself.
blessings to you my dear.
Yes amazing
Wow. Greatest Mindvalley talk I’ve ever watched. Thank you so much Dr. Shefali! So many gems dropped in such a short period of time! 🙏🏾❤️
As a practitioner of Nichiren Buddhism Dr Shefali's thoughts are very familiar, but presented in a very thought provoking style. It is the manner of her presentation that makes me shudder about how broken we all are especially my own self. We must undertake this journey of self awareness and understand our wholeness and beauty to be able to liberate ourselves and others in our life.
Hello dear
I would have loved us to chat and become friends, Hope to hear from you soon
Fantastic message! Now I can walk around and ask each person I meet “ have you done your inner healing”? Staying home alone during Covid for 4 months in Italy, forced me into that inner work and it’s ongoing, but it is a beautiful feeling. I had to be happy alone. That was so scary!! Thank you your message really hit me right on!
Love this! Celebrate that you hv divorced your false self! We are not taught to be whole when seeking a partner, love the concept of marrying your authentic self and marrying your truth. Certainly was not aware of that at 28 years old.
Some of us have evolved ..She is only really saying what you will learn on a gut level if you stay alone long enough to heal . Then this just becomes awareness . It is just growing up .. you can listen to this all day long but to gain that awareness will mean treading your own difficult path .
This was really eye opening for me....becoming your own parent and learning to love yourself the way you were never loved. I loved the presenter, she was eloquent.
Gypsy Girl Tarot,your pretty smile ☺️ can make the news!
Mind blown. I do this work (I'm a therapist) and she NAILED it. 💕😊🙏♥️
I try to understand and put perspective with word “unconditional love” and I think this talked represent the true meaning of unconditional love.
You are such a amazing soul and way you speak is beautiful! Thank you
It’s hard to hear that I was the problem during my marriage by enabling how my ex treated me. However, I have been working on myself so much that I already have taken ownership of my silence. I was taught early on to be silent and not defend myself. I carried this into adulthood and did not speak up for myself once I was put in my place multiple times and realized that my voice was neither heard nor desired. I then set out to try and honor my commitment and hoped that if I allowed him to do as he wished, he’d be happy, and then treat me well.
This didn’t work and in my stubbornness and desire not to fail, I wasted many years in silence. I have slowly become more vocal but still will fall back into this pattern. On my own path now, I am finding myself, taking time for myself, and carefully allowing others into my life.
I could listen to her speak all day. What a beautiful presentation on this topic. Thank you!
I absolutely adore how my mum and dad blessed the earth each other walked upon. Tino rangatiratanga
“It’s all about you “ so true, when I finally come to admit everything cone to place!
Thank you 🙏
It's woww........a mind-blowing session. This is exactly what I believe 🙌, I follow.......it's wowwwwwwww......just left with no words 💞
So true
Ikr
Luv it, it really show me how disconectes people are in these day and I am not so crazy to aware of this culturescape and find way to liberate myself as a human being :). Thank you so much Mindvalley.
You are the most AMAZIiNG PERSON -A Treasure gifted to us.
What a beautiful contribution you are making to awaken us all to be
true authentic people.
So impressed! Many blessings - much love sent to you from Ireland.
I really enjoyed this wonderful and utterly truthful talk, thank you!
Dr Shefali was absolutely on point. And how stunningly beautiful she looks, by the way.
One thing I would say is that I clicked on this talk because of the 'how to' in the title. From watching this, however, I'd call it a 'what is' true intimacy. And it certainly is what she says it is.
Namaste xox
Wow! Loved it! She's an amazing presenter and speaker. She knows her stuff. Thank you so much
I want to believe that everyone in the audience is now a super couple, super parents and awakened living their truth as a result of this talk. Idealism aside, this talk is POWERFUL.
PLEASE watch till the end.
What is the solution? Is there a solution to the problem? How do I respond to culture? Do I reject the culture or run away from it?
What a woman! Her wisdom and her words..salute her!
this was one of the best talks I have listened to on youtube for awhile
OMG !! A complete revolution going on in my mind. Thank you so much 💕 Just a small request- Kindly try to make a video on an ideal behaviour of ourselves with sone examples to have more clarity and future reprimanding
I would like to see an interview with Teal Swan and Dr. Shefali.
Yes!! I love Teal swan ❤️
Oh that would be sooo interesting!! Love both of them!
This woman is way more
That would be cool. I like Teal Swan.
TRUE!!
After many years of inner turmoil and working very hard in searching for the way out, I came to this wisdom.
I just saw this video and dr. Shefali explains it absolutely excellent and with great integrity. I am deeply impressed of someone so capable of explaining this so well in shape and content, I haven't seen someone do this before. I am so very impressed, strong deliverance and her passion to spread the word of Truth is so very commendable. Thank you 🌼🦗
Oh My Gawd... This is Mind Blowing,
I am Clapping and Crying, |I am in the beginning go a new relationship
and this will probably save it from getting into a loop.
She describes very well what my marriage was all about and what I've come to conclusion regarding societies. Excellent talk 👍 thank you💕
GenL, you deserve a better man!🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
I have blamed myself many times & still dont have the help!! Is so difficult getting the correct help!!!! Who am I?? This is brilliant THANKYOU!! somebody gets its!! 🙏❤
Has your x stolen your creative identity that makes you unique? Was he/she jealous of you, jerked you around, made you believe in their reality, rather then your own? It may explain why you've gone missing. Study Narcissism, which she mentions for it is a deeper subject, then that which is defined in the DSM-5 book, or the definition. There is plenty of info online via you-tube. Grow as the awesome person that you are & get to know yourself better. ~Enjoy!!
Great talk. Hard to absorb.. I don't know how many can survive watching this to the end but..
I'm glad there is this video for many of us to watch today because I believe our older generations did not come across these issues in our modern world.
Great Wisdom and Sharing..
Thank You sincerely.
wow! I am impressed! Knowing all this information is not enough, practice this knowledge and implement it daily.
She is beautiful inside and out. It's refreshing to listen to her wisdom packed talk...Lucky are those children who benefit from her work.
I have learned so much about relationships in my own. I have been divorced and then in a narcissistic relationship to find someone who taught me that I need to work on myself and let go of the past. I have seen that there is no point in being in a relationship unless it is a team dynamic. I am going to school to be a counselor and I have thought about couples therapy as one of my directions. It is really interesting in the different dynamics and how when we have blinders on we see ourselves as the victim until we open our eyes and see what we created.
Wow. One of the best talks on relationships I’ve heard in a long long time. 💛 Makes total sense. Love it.
Incredibly great talk!
No sugarcoating, just naked Truth.
Wow this talk is so brilliant. Im completely blown away by her intelligence and her unique message. Thank you Mindvalley & Dr. Shefali for spreading the wisdom.
Simply amazing!!! No words to describe how brilliantly dr. Shefali explained every thing .
What an eye opener, I have some work to do. I have learnt so much, I really needed to hear this today.
I have been using others to fill the void.
Thank you for sharing 💛
I love her message so much. Everything she says resonates so deeply in my being that I crave her word.
Much Love to you Dr Shifali, you're bringing so much wisdom and spice to this fieeld!
Awesome lecture. That makes so much sense. No wonder that my life is not fulfilled, yet. Wow! I'm going to learn about the true me .
What makes you feel happy? Sexy? Fit? Stable?
Others will try and tell you you are not right. Keep going.
Wow! One of the best mindvalley talks. Thank you Dr.Shefali. 💖
Such a great video!!!! Thank you dr Shefali. I feel like this was an important step in my self journey. I also shared it with my four daughters and all my closest friends! So great!
Hello dear
I would have loved us to chat and become friends, Hope to hear from you soon
Beautiful lecture....just wish she would recommend what tangible steps to get a point of self revelation and inner awakening
Yesss!!!!! Greatest life experience is knowing yourself!!! 💜🕊🦄
I always hear people say that the greatest experiences involve others, but being a meditator, yogi & teacher for the last couple of decades, I can say 1st hand that there's nothing like living totally aligned with yourself & your soul's true expression. Let's keep talking about these things!!!
Marry your Authentic Self & Marry your truth & Your inner liberation & become your freedom: Good information!!
Now I see why I feel like I’m CONSTANTLY parenting ❤️.
THIS IS GREAT.
Authentic SELF❤️
That was truly amazing, insightful and a reevaluation of who we truly are. Thank you so much Dr. Shefali, more please!
She is the best. So many podcasts are very little substance. This one is just truth
YOU ARE AWESOME!! Love everything about you and the wonderful way you share your wisdom!! Thanks for all and best wishes in all you do...
Amend!..Exactly!..Dr Shefali!..Sometimes, It Pays 2 Step Bak & Look At Ourselves!..Thanks 4 This Powerful Speech!
Wonderful talk. With each Mindvalley talk I learn so much.
Dr Shefali sounds full of wisdom and impressive :) lots of love to her and Mindvalley :)
You have really touched me with your talk...Yes it is very TRUE. Thank you deeply from my heart. I am Who I am.
The relationship you speak of here is that of my partner and I. My love left this Earth 11 weeks ago.
My heart is both broken and full, broken as we no longer get to experience this beauty of our union in the physical realm but oh so full as the love we share I treasure each and every day.
Shine on my lover, my best friend, my ONE. ❤
Have you read a severe mercy?? You will love it
@@farmerfox99 No, I haven't. Thank you for the recommendation.
Author- Sheldon vanaken was a good friend of cs Lewis. I often wonder if their love story is possible. Interesting they called their love the Shining Barrier.
😘😭🌹that beauty inside forever, some never know. That love came from within you.
This is my first one with dr. Shefali and I LOVE it! What a vise and profound woman
Loved this... The place I get stuck is in regards to touch. I can wrap my arms around myself or stroke my own head, but I cannot experience the energy exchange of touch with another, without an other...
I can self massage aches and pains, but I cannot reach all parts of my body, nor lean my weight transfer into my body, because I must work against my own tension and not only does it not feel the same, but it doesn't get anywhere close to the same results. I simply cannot fix in my own tissue what I can for clients. I have to hire another therapist to work on me...
So all of the inner work with self is necessary, but no matter how much solitude I go contemplating in, I cannot give these things to myself. They require someone outside of me to occur... So how the heck do I self source that?
You cannot really love another until you heal, so how the heck do you do that?
I think you’re right on the $. Both are needed. To heal yourself sometimes we need to heal w another person as well. Ester Perel talks about how we can also heal and learn and unwind with another person, it just needs to be intentional with someone that is also open to talking an working through things. I think the distinction of creating more chaos and triggers vs conscious intimacy is made by first acknowledging our triggers and what our wounds are, “I feel _______ when someone does this_________”. What does that feeling remind you of in childhood either before moving into a relationship or when one ends is also a ripe moment for this practice.
So for me I used to feel abandoned or unloved or not worthy when someone didn’t keep plans with me, didn't call back or was flaky. They may have their own busy schedule, an upset at work or with a loved one, or their own depression, anxiety or triggers they were working on.
But before in my head, it was, ‘I’m not really lovable.’ Once I felt that fully, instead of distracted, or numbed or disengaged, or made myself wrong for it or beat myself up or felt guilty bc of my parents upbringing..all the should’s on myself (Lisa Nichols:) Just felt it, then I asked myself what feeling that felt like in childhood?
It was clear that it was from my mom who wasn’t emotionally capable, and also my sister who was always hot and cold with me.
I went through a meditation (Vishen’s 6 phase) where I engulfed the feeling of what I am grateful for, and then set up a forgiveness place with my guides and asked them that I only speak with love without any shame, blame or anger. I asked my mom and then my sister to come into the circle, and with each, I felt what I had felt, told them how it affected me.I envisioned them telling me their own hurts and wounds and that it was not intentional. I then envisioned this electric blue light coming out of my heart and theirs until I could just love them for who they are and envisioned them so happy, blessed and in beautiful relationships full of joy. (This is hard to do without first feeling fully the pain you felt) Everything comes up and out if you let it. If you keep numbing, distracting or disengaging, it keeps coming up or being a trigger.
I did not get up from my meditation until I could just want to bless them everytime they popped into my head. This exercise was super powerful and the other I would suggest if you are triggered or have difficulties in relationships, (which we all do) is to then ask yourself what you needed as a child, deeply desire now and how to give it to yourself.
So for me, my mom was never able to be a mom to me, and I envisioned my sister being someone that could be close with, but she was a child herself without a mom and didn’t want to have to deplete herself and be one to me. I wanted connection and closeness and someone that felt like a mom and someone that felt like a sister.
So I made a point of making friends with women that could be like sisters, and looked at how I can also support and love them. (MAKE SURE THEY ARE STABLE and fill their own cup up as well most of the time.) I also intentionally sought out older women that we could share this space of their wisdom and my youth, and I made the effort by continuing to call and text and open up and be soft.
In this way you can heal with other people, it is with stable people that are aware of their own wounds and have found some modalities to heal, and by asking yourself how you are showing up in the relationship you have created with them.
Try it out, would love your feedback!! It has made me not fear my own voice or rocking the boat when my needs are not met, and helped really heal that space of desire for connection for me, so that in a romantic relationship I am both giving and receiving, asking how I am showing up as well as what we both need. I don’t feel triggered anymore when someone has their own life, and have compassion now as well as able to speak to my needs without a blowout.
@Amber: ask the universe to hold you and support at night when you're feeling alone in bed. It sounds weird, but it works. I've been single for 4 years after a nearly 11 year severely abusive relationship, sometimes nights are really hard. I ask the universe to hold me and make me feel loved. A sense of peace comes over me every time. I also ask and pray for clarity on how i can be connected and supported on the deepest level of my being.
@@practical.emotions Thank you so much for such a beautifully detailed reply. It sounds like we're drawn to similar circles.
In my childhood, as the middle girl between two boys, I ached for a sister. I fell in love with The Parent Trap movie and I wished it was possible that I could go off to camp and discover she existed, but my parents were together, so I told myself since it's not possible to be a twin, I wanted to have them one day... And I did. By myself.
My mom was great when I was little, before our roles reversed. She had purpose with little ones. Once we didn't need her as much, she lost herself and I became the parent.
So much of my childhood wounds, I've set out to face and heal, but there seems to be more to it than awareness and a choice to forgive... I mean, everything that happened makes sense. The mistaken conclusions I drew in my innocent child mind and even the challenge I presented them felt softer when I imagined it from the perspective of being a parent myself.
I found a space of compassion, and blame no longer feels appropriate. The story only serves to understand how my journey has evolved...
And with all of that, I still drew the experience of reactivating the pain of the inguinal hernia I had at age 5, and there was nothing my logical mind could to manage the flood of guilt and shame the physical pain released...
There I was, 37 years later, thinking I'd healed and released those emotions, but there they were, completely hijacking my body and mind.
It leaves me feeling a little bit lost, in a good way... Because I've set out to heal and grow and serve others. I've been at it a long time, and now must admit I need help, because all of my best efforts have lead me to keep repeating the lessons.
And there's nothing wrong with picking up a school book and seeing how much self-learning one can manage, only to realize they need the help of a teacher to comprehend it... So that's where I'm at.
I know I like myself. I thought I loved myself too. I learned I have only scratched the surface and I need some guidance to help me understand how to grow from liking to loving myself.
You seem like a wonderful influence. It's hard to connect thru UA-cam, but if you want to connect through fb, you can shoot me a message thru my page... You can only friend me if we have a friend in common. If not, there's only an option to follow, but if you PM me I can request you... No attachments. Just an invitation, cuz I really like your energy and your willingness to share so authentically. facebook.com/amberscott24
@@jessie1090 That's a lovely suggestion. Thank you.🌷
Love this! ❤️ Dr. Shafeli your so right!💯 Especially about being that mother as a mother of 7 blessings being that mom is so important!
This is excellent information. I do not know how to fix where we are because 5 years is a long time. When your partner will not get help from a doctor, we cannot be fixed.
Shelia Ricks remember you are truly sovereign, no blaming it’s an inside job. Blessings to you
She's right on the money with a good vantage point of observing this over and over again in her practice. Once you start searching for ways to heal yourself, to know yourself, etc., there are many paths to awakening.... it is a journey and you have to trust your intuition upon who to open to -- Careful of people wanting to trap you into expensive processes/series/sessions, in order to get free --- doesn't have to go that way --
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I thoroughly enjoyed this, she has put words to the feelings I have about this work we all need to do for ourselves, partners and children. Incredible how you put it into understandable concepts. The blindspots we all have with this work makes it that uch more challenging. And yes it is alway easier to blame someone else and not assume responsibility.
To responsibility, blindspots, figuring out our wholeness, authenticity, thank you,
Dr shefali is one of my favorite teachers. Always on POINT! xoxox
Yeah, I see this the same way. You can only set all roots within yourself and reparent yourself. By giving yourself all this love. You are your first priority. Nobody is needy when you have found yourself.
You are just so mind blowing on this subject. I love hearing you over and again. So powerful and clear.
Wow Amazing. Her words penetrate very deeply!
Omg she's so damn pretty, smart and so vocal. This is what happens when u truly embrace who u are.
This was so amazing ❤️ Loved it! Dr. Shefali touched upon so many vital aspects of life, love and relationships. The thoughts resonated with me on some deeper level. Every word and every thought was powerful. Thank you so much for such an enlightening and insightful session.❤️ So wanted to hear this. 😊👏👏
This one video can heal the world,the humanity, and at least the seeker.
Really very well delivered and explained. Thank you Dr Shefali.
WOW‼️ She is so right on 😘‼️ Very passionate speaker❗️Our lack of intimacy with ourselves is the root of so many of our problems.
When you start to awaken and realize that your whole life has been based on the superficial regarding the human condition of selfishness, arrogance, ignorance, which promotes lack of love and understanding for pretty much anything that is different than you, AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, that way of life takes us away from the deeper purpose for us being here on this planet❗️
How about realizing how vulnerable animals are vs. human beings, and cleaning up our beautiful planet, and just basing at least part of our life on helping others. If we took all the free time we have JUST watching TV and made it our business to help the less fortunate, cleaning up our beautiful planet, HELPING ANIMALS, we don't even realize how unconscious and horrible we are to them.......that would make a dent in the problems in the world. We can exist with a lot less stuff, a lot less money, and a lot less ego.
We are raised in this western society where it is condoned to be very unconscious with the unimportant like consumerism, getting ahead at the cost of others and our planet, all the addictions to escape and be distracted from this precious life which we were given⁉️
A large part of our world needs to awaken for future generations to make it on this planet...can we do it? We start by each and everyone of us having enough courage and love for ourselves and others, to start the process of accepting/loving ourselves which will open our eyes to the problems in the world which need our support. It is hard to dig down to try and clear out the confusion and crap in ourselves. But also very profound AND a great way to spend our lives, and it will OPEN OUR HEARTS AND MINDS 💟☯️☮️
Wow! Its you who allows the other to blossom!
Dr Shefali is amazing 👍👍❤️
It's the best and the most authentic speech I've ever seen. Sooooo grateful🙏🙏
Absolute BEST talk I have ever witnessed. So much gratitude 🙏 ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
We must take time to seek our first
Lover first and for most which God Almighty then will be able to love anybody else ...
Very beautiful & inspiring, thank you for this.❤
Beautiful words from a beautiful soul. This helped me tremendously. Thank you for your gift 🙏🏼💛
So incredibly insightful…but rarely understood by most. Can be somewhat depressing how far off from reality we can be….and led so strongly away by peoples focus on power or $.
Broken connections with others is often where we discover our true selves.
This was amazing and exactly what I needed to hear right now.
Is one goal of leveling up in consciousness to stop needing to be needed by our lover? If so, what would be the reason to stay together with anyone, if we don't need anyone? I'm truly wondering this.
Because we WANT TO be with him rather than we NEED him?