Listener Write-Ins First Write In - 3:51 Second Write In - 4:55 Third Write In - 10:51 Fourth Write In - 14:47 Reddit Stories First Story - 17:51 Second Story - 39:51 Third Story - 53:41 Fourth Story - 1:05:20 Fifth Story - 1:21:44 (TW: Child Death)
Bruuuh that second story with the guy wanting his mom in the delivery room was insane. The way OP was just totally oblivious and really just not caring about the fact that his mom is abusive to his wife is a huge red flag. I feel so bad for his wife, and part of me is just telling her to run. A guy who has no problem with his mom verbally and emotionally abusing his wife isn't exactly the kinda guy you want to have a family with.
For real! I feel so bad for the wife and I really hope that she leaves him after all of this. His comments to the comments are so bad and it seemed like he posted the original to try to get people to tell him he wasn’t the asshole. It seems like he is totally oblivious to how bad HE is in this situation and all the situations revolving his mom.
And sounds like he is in denial about his mum being horrible to his wife and tbh not really caring. She needs to get rid of him, he's so ignorant and selfish.
Fr fr bcz like. He is a fucking mamas boy CRYSTAL CLEARLY. And also kinda thought that his wife was lying (even though he pointed out that she is trustworthy and that he heard some snarky remarks). Honestly OP needs to get his shit together or his wife hopefully starts realizing she is better than this and be able to do smthing about it
As a childcare worker I’ve seen WAY more family members endanger children than people in this profession. Damn. Just because someone is “blood” sure as hell doesn’t always mean they’re safe.
Good to know! It’s the hardest job I’ve ever had, but being able to support kids and parents is amazing. Proud to call it my career. Love you guys! (Sorry for getting a touch defensive. I’m…hungry? Idk)
idk. i’ve worked in a daycare and seen plenty of abusive behavior towards children. the risk is there for both sides of it, whether family watches your children or someone in a daycare.
@@briannaoliver7720 same, especially with special needs kids under 2. I've seen some things that have been 2 steps away from needing reported to cps in a childcare facility. I think if they can get mil to understand that baby's PARENTS aren't cool with that behavior so it's off limits, then I might give her a second chance but definitely check in on the cams.
That husband wanting his mom in the delivery room was absolutely disgusting. The MIL and husband both. Super selfish, not understanding how personal and traumatic giving birth can be.
How is that disgusting? I mean I wouldn’t want that. But the spouse needs support sometimes too. Like I get it’s not for everyone. But that’s his first time dealing with it too and he may need support.
@@MessyMama92 I'm a woman and 3 people in a delivery room seems like a crowd. Women need the support since they have to do the hard work. If the husband needs an extra person to hold his hand, he should better wait outside.
@@MessyMama92 maybe i would understand you a bit more if the mother in law was a nice sweet person to his wife but she’s straight up judgmental and brings her down all the time . she’s going to be in such a vulnerable time in her life and to be hearing all her crap at the moment is completely ridiculous. my OWN mother is just as judgmental and has brought me down my entire life and i do NOT want her in my own birthing room.. if the husband wants support he can wait in the waiting room with his mom and let his wife have the support she needs. at this point he wouldn’t be any support because he would just be holding on to resentment..
@@MessyMama92But he didn’t want support because he needed it, he wanted her there because “she’s exited to be a grandmother”. So what? You are not celebrating your baby’s birthday, your wife is giving birth. SHE is the patient, and SHE gets to choose who she needs to be there.
I was on the fence until I mentally switched the gender of the caretaker. Imagine a father in law did that?! I can see Alejandra's point, MIL might have legitimately just not thought about it and might not have mental health problems, but that was a WILD choice and possibly a deranged one.
Some babies want to nurse for comfort and refuse pacifiers. This is a completely natural thing. Obviously the MIL shouldn't have done it in secret but babies are biologically inclined to breastfeed for comfort, not just food
@@NickyD-fd5xk nursing for comfort is normal. Nursing for comfort from the breast of someone not producing milk and behind the parents back is 100 percent not normal. I breastfed my son for two years. Immediately this person would never be around my child. No one in their right mind would think this was fine to do under these circumstances.
ABSOLUTELY. Not to mention, I would be JUST as pissed as if I saw anyone, even my also nursing sister, breastfeeding my child without clear and obvious permission.
No one sees this as a sexual thing and could be a form of child abuse !! Like I would never put my child in her care ever again and prob call the police
For sure, she was mad she got caught, not for being “spied” on. I’m not sure if she’s fully aware that there was a nanny cam in the nursery, but she should’ve been. They’ve been around forever and a new mom would probably want to check the monitor a lot just for the sake of seeing her baby. Either way, I think the OP should invest in more “nanny cams” (I guess more like actual spy cams) so the MIL doesn’t try to pull a fast one and block the known nanny cam or walk the baby out of the room to do the same creep ass thing.
@@goddz6145 yeah, that’s a tricky one. Like on one hand people say we shouldn’t sexualize breasts, their entire function is to feed offspring #freethenipple, but on the other hand we don’t live in a vacuum and neither does the MIL who knows dam well she’s not lactating and if this was with a baby or child that wasn’t nursing it would definitely be seen as abuse of some kind. So yeah, it’s creepy no matter how you look at it though.
@@brittanisnyder9205 my SIL has breastfeed my son before but it was something I was perfectly fine with, especially because I was struggling with breastfeeding,(learned almost 2 years later bloodloss from my c-section caused damage to my pituitary which makes the hormone to make milk) and I was at work at the time. But for someone to do it without making sure it's okay first, that's fucked
As someone who just gave birth 3 weeks ago, that MIL does NOT need to be in the room, any decent nurse would actually kick her out pretty early on simply because the MIL talking will likely elevate the moms Blood pressure which usually causes the babies heart rate to drop and lead to her having to have a C section. Dad is just as much of a parent as mom but mom is the only one who has a say of who gets to be in the delivery room because she’s giving birth!!
Yes. Delivery is more about the support of the mother. All decisions need to made about the mother’s comfort and health. She can see the baby in the hospital after the birth
As a MIL I would never even ask to be in the room. I am happy to say that my dil chose for them to build a house right across the street from us. That made me happy and now I keep my granddaughter while they work. ❤️❤️❤️
@@toriscottlynch3138 That’s amazing. I have been trying to get as far away from my in laws as possible lol I don’t think I would trust any of them to care for our daughter. My family has done EVERYTHING for us so far, I wish they weren’t so bad for my husbands sake
@@kimcake2112Great point, the MIL was caught at it this time. I've heard stories of some women while breastfeeding their own baby have an orgasm. By the MIL reaction my mind went to a completely different place like take a picture get the police involved kinda thing.
Alejandra was wild for that take on the breastfeeding MIL...I'm Peruvian and when I was a baby, the nanny my parents hired did beat me and they immedietly shut it down. They hired a new nanny and to this day I consider her a treasured part of my life, despite not being related to us biologically. Families aren't at all inherently better caretakers to children, and one anecdote about a Peruvian family shouldn't deter you from realizing that this MIL is insane. Shout out to both of them for being able to maintain a mature dialogue though...I don't think I could've done so
My sister’s bf stood by her when she was struggling with alcoholism (7 years sober now) and a few years later he was paralyzed by a spinal chord injury. They stood by each other’s side when things got tough. Just because it’s harder, doesn’t mean they’ll be happier apart. My sister & her fiancé are getting married next week!
My boyfriend had a stroke last year I have had to do things i never thought i would have to at 36. But I have never once thought about not doing any of it and walking away. I kills me when people say I couldn't do that.
@@emilyrobinson5791 same! I was feeling very awk when Morgan was trying to explain the difference between pacifiers vs nipples and it was just not computing lol
@@nicolem4673 Because Morgan was wrong, dry nursing is very much a thing and babies don’t need there to be milk as a reward to continue sucking if all they’re looking for is comfort, not food. Just speaking as a mom who has breastfed 3 babies, and even continued to occasionally dry nurse my 2nd months after my milk had completely dried up due to pregnancy lol
About the wife with terminal illness- the MIL says “I’m his mother….” Well he’s 28 so the mothering is really over. You get no influence on your adult child’s decisions. That’s vile.
No force ever would take me away from MY person, & no "mother" should want to separate her child from THEIR person. There is something WRONG with that woman. That's not how love or even how life works. I'm not religious & it's in sickness and health.
The fact that the mother in law got so upset about the camera catching her trying to breastfeed the baby makes me believe she isn't mad about the camera. I feel like she has maybe done it before and is now just upset that she was caught.
Thank you for saying this. Whilst I’m still young and it doesn’t sound as though I have anything like what the wife in this story has, I have a condition that means that my mobility will decline significantly over time and I’ll most likely end up in a wheelchair. This story really upset me and I’m well aware that one day I might be that kind of ‘burden’ too.
I have two chronic illnesses and a disability, and what you can bring to a relationship is just a little different, not any less than for an able-bodied relationship. People who jump to that conclusion forget that everyone has struggles that the other person will have to deal with, no matter what. Unless they express issues, it's no one's business.
Seriously. So the MIL thinks that people with chronic illness don't deserve love?? God forbid something to happen to her one day and tell her husband to leave. Very disturbing.
The grandmother “breastfeeding” story is so disturbing for me. The only way she’d get another chance at watching my baby was if she owned up to her mistake, apologized, and promised never to do such a thing again. And accepts that those cameras will be staying ON. Sure, it was most likely a lapse of judgement, and the occurrence of female pedophiles is very low, but from that point on, I would be on alert. Soooo inappropriate. And she better knock that entitled attitude off, yesterday. This is OP’s child. The parents decide what’s best for baby, period.
I am a firm believer of cameras on the outside of your house every entrance. But after this I would defiantly have cameras inside as well. If you can't trust family who are you supposed to trust
@@sashaawinoatieno2633 id recommend getting more cameras in the house. But not tell her. Like she knows about the monitor, but get some nanny cams and see what she does.
On the delivery room story I had a friend that just didn’t want anyone in the room other than her and her doctor, she didn’t even want her husband there. After they got in a fight over this she asked for advice from anyone that would listen, and this is what I would say to any woman about to give birth. The only people that get to make any decisions regarding the birthing process are the doctors helping to make sure the child and mother are healthy and may need to make decisions, and the mother that has carried this child for 9 months and is now going to be doing the most stressful, painful, and emotional thing a woman can ever do
The women that adopted me always blamed me for all her problems even after i moved out! She always said I would never graduate high school (which I did) when I was pregnant she said my daughter would be deformed and would be mentally challenged which crossed the line who says that about an unborn child!!! I've had her blocked for 13 months now and my life has been so much better
Currently nursing my 2nd child. I would lose my SHIT if I pulled up a camera and found my MIL nursing my baby. That's disgusting. Checking the cameras to see if everything is okay is not wrong. The MIL losing her shit on her for being upset about the breast feeding and checking the cameras is sus. My guess is that isn't the 1st time and her reaction over the camera tells me she is worried about getting caught doing that or something more. IF they did give her another chance there would be some MAJOR boundaries set and if they were crossed there would be zero discussion. But I don't know that I could get over my MIL breast feeding my child.
honestly i feel the same i find it disgusting and that kind of behavior makes me worried that it could lead to the kid growing up being sexually assaulted bt the grandmother
Not only would I be setting major boundaries but I’d also be putting more cameras in the house and making it clear that I would be checking said cameras more. If grandma goes into the bathroom with baby, I’d be questioning it as well because a baby can entertain themselves for a quick second while someone goes to the bathroom. So there would be no need to take a baby to the bathroom with her if she tries to say that
I feel like a good way to judge this would be how would you react if you walked in on the FIL ‘nursing’ the baby? Idk if that changes my reaction. Im on Alejandra’s thought process.
I don't understand why people care who is in the room. Pregnant mom makes the decision and that's it. Its okay if no one is there, or just the husband, or if you decide more people I guess that's fine. I wouldnt want people there, they can come in after lol.
The story about the mother telling her son to leave his wife SCREAMS ableism!!! How dare she insert herself into their lives by suggesting she leave her son. In sickness and in health, for better or for worse is what marriage is all about. I think the couple is doing their best to love each other and I hope they stay together. It breaks my heart that the woman already feels like a burden and then her MIL made her feel worse.
This. How could she not be proud to have raised such a good guy?He loves his wife for better or for worse, and in sickness and in health. MIL isn’t just an AH this should’ve been moved to “am I the devil”.
Alejandra, that grandmother is INSANE! No right person does that and then gets mad for being caught. If she genuinely thought she was helping the baby then she’d mention it to the mother or text her beforehand. She got embarrassed for being caught and got mad because it was INSANE what she did and she knows it 😳
I nursed two children, and would NEVER attempt to breastfeed someone else's child without their approval or even request (under infant duress). That is not normal or sane for GM to try this.
Thank you! I'm a 50s woman with no kids but from a big extended family. I have NEVER heard of this being a normal thing! As someone who came up in the 70s, I would guess there are groups with some AGREED-UPON feeding of each other's babies. I also have heard of women breast-feeding infants in an emergency situation and that is great. But Grandma?!.... All dried up. That is WEIRD. And I would worry to leave a baby with her. TOO Weird!
I breastfed both of mine for over a year and I would have never thought to just nurse anyone else’s babies and I had milk. It’s an intimate thing to nurse a child and you don’t just start feeding other peoples babies bc they’re fussy that’s fucking weird man. I would’ve never let her watch the baby alone again. It’s over for me right there
The MIL who’s telling her son to leave his wife because of her illness is literally talking about the situation like it’s an old pet that needs put to sleep. She’s disgusting.
i kinda saw it the other way, while she was the asshole 100% she is seeing the effects tolling her child and she wants him to be doing better, i’d never do anything like this but in a way understand.
@@yurmom_ "If you really care, step up to help." 1:04:40. That's what I was thinking before they even said it. HELP if you think he is burdened! (edited to fix time link.)
I feel like nurses have no problem kicking people out. If she doesn’t want her there they aren’t going to let her be there. That story really upset me.
Most absolutely correct. If a patient of mine doesn’t want someone in the room (visits, wtv), I’m kicking em to the curb, warning the reception people, the security guard and hospital unit police 😂🤣
Yes! I hate confrontation but I will always be the “bad guy” for my patient when they don’t want family there. I tell them “mom needs to rest” or something. And if she feels bad about me saying that I can always just say “hey we need to check blah blah blah on mom so everyone out”😂 before delivery mom often is stressed and exhausted. And after delivery is such a special bonding time for the new parents and baby, and family can sometimes really take away from that without even realizing.
It’s def worthwhile to read the OPs comments on the breastfeeding story. The MIL could have offered the baby a bottle and chose not to. OP also said that the baby wouldn’t take pacifiers. 100% would not allow her to be alone with my infant ever again.
Also another point, even though we aren't ducklings, babies imprint on their moms though nursing. The MIL just replaced the baby's mom without the mom's consent, and that's not ok.
My MIL tried to talk me and my SIL out of nursing for that reason. My SIL ended up doing bottles and my MIL become the only person to feed my nephew and it really affected the bond between him and his mother. I’m still breastfeeding and on a regular basis she’s said something about how she wants to be the one to feed him and I’ve had to argue to get him back from her for feedings. It’s a big overstep and it’s 100% not cool.
@@Ashleighsabrinaa that's just not right. I pump and bottle feed my baby and I'm the only one that does it. MIL tried one time and she let her suck the bottle empty for 5 min! I got mad at my husband and told her that from now on it will be only me. And I've told her if she doesn't respect what I am doing or want to do with my baby she can leave.
@@nataliygiriyev8186 Im so proud of you for standing up for yourself and your baby! Not enough people feel comfortable enough, but well done! You are doing amazing
I am currently nursing my first child, and I cannot imagine literally ANYONE trying to nurse my child. (my mom, MIL, or friend). That is absolutely disgusting, and frankly downright disrespectful. Breastfeeding is a very difficult thing to do with your child, that's why many women don't do it or don't do it for long, and I would be royally pissed off and insulted if my MIL did this. She would never be allowed to watch my child alone again.
As someone with chronic illness and disability I am so distraught about the third reddit story. One of my biggest struggles in life is feeling like a burden to my loved ones. My (now ex) husband couldn't handle helping me with things like driving me around or asking him to help with some chores, despite my parents helping far more. He ended up being extremely abusive and only making me worse by compounding what I already had with PTSD. Years later, I am in the worst health of my life and so afraid to ask for help because of the damage he caused to me. I'm so lucky to have parents that I can lean on for this kind of support and that have learned to see what my needs are even if I'm too traumatized to verbalize them.
I'm disabled too and it's so scary knowing that there are people out there who look at us as easy targets for abuse or scams. I can't bring myself to date anyone or even make new friends.
The person who wants her son to leave his wife disgusts me on so many levels-my husband was diagnosed with kidney disease seven weeks before our wedding, he passed away two weeks ago (six days before our seventh anniversary) and I never regretted a single day of caring for him. Countless hours in hospital were worth every moment I got to be his wife and I’m heartbroken that I’ve lost him.
As someone who has been a childcare worker (both privately and daycare) for over 5 years, I have never had the thought to just put a child on my boob if they were upset. And I’ve had inconsolable kids. That’s just not a move, no matter the relation. Even moms typically don’t do that, as it disrupts the feeding schedule and can lead to immense confusion!
Telling the pregnant woman who should be in the room with her in her most vulnerable moment is just a no-go. Absolutely not. Her body is the one changing, her labor is her vulnerable moment. To me it's just not acceptable to make that moment less comfortable for her. It should be whatever makes her most comfortable, no questions asked.
100% agree. Why does she think she has the right to be there? Its not some fun time where everything is pure bliss, this is a super vulnerable time for the mom AND the baby.
Exactly. Every single person in that room needs to be there for the birthing person and the birthing person only. If they don’t want you there you need to respect that.
I cried on the last one. That mil was delusional to think she had rights to get near their family ever again. Straight up wouldve ended her life before she went to jail for those measly 3 years.
Alejandra: trauma bonding isn’t binding over shared trauma even though it is what it sounds like. A trauma bond is formed by one abusive human toward their victim. This is the type of bond that makes a victim of DV not able to leave, or very much could be caused by a parent to a child.
About the husband wanting his mother in the room: I asked my dad about this, curious, and he was like "Samantha, I didn't even want to be in the room, I was your mother's person so I don't get a choice lol". My father is a libertarian conservative Catholic, and even he was like "no, it's the wife's choice. The husband doesn't get a choice, your wife is bringing your child into the world, she gets to decide who's helping her do it."
I LOVEEE his response, especially where he says "she gets to decide who helps her do it". Because his mother would NOT be helping at all whatsoever. She has been abusive to her. It's disgusting he doesn't seem to care or believe her. I wish she recorded the treatment on her phone secretly.
That last story had me seeing red. That grandmother has the audacity to demand to see their sons child after she murdered her granddaughter. No. You have no rights. Get a restraining order before she Hurts the New child.
It's like the grandmother has an even more effed up version of Maunchausens by proxy. I wouldn't let that woman have contact with a cheese sandwich, let alone a living child...
My husband and I took our two year old to a family bbq at a house I had never been to. And I wasn’t aware that over the hill from where we were sitting (where the kids were playing) there was a koi pond that was huge and my son, much like this young girl loved water. I watched him run away and disappear over the hill and it wasn’t the first time he had ran up the hill and then back to me but for some reason this time my stomach dropped when he disappeared behind the hill and I got up and sprinted down the hill to find my son drowning in the pond. He looked up at me and reached his hand out as I jumped in to save him. There were many older kids around and I was so fast no one even had the chance to see what happened, he coughed up some water and I went and changed him up and had a heart attack for a good few weeks lol but needless to say this was maybe 5 seconds between him getting in and me jumping in to save him because of my motherly instinct. I was furious because nobody had told me there was a pond and I wanted to leave right then but we hadn’t eaten yet and Baby was so hungry after all the chaos so we stayed and cooled down and ate dinner. The night got better. My point is this last story hit home very hard for me, had I not been in touch with my 6th sense at the time I could have been in the same situation as this grandma… how devastating. You can’t always watch 2 year olds every single second of every day. BUT you keep them in eye and ear shot. This story made my stomach turn so hard. I resent myself for even allowing the few seconds that’s happened to occur, I can’t imagine being this woman and not understanding where the parents are coming from.
Yeah, and the fact that she asked not to call the police and cared more about whether she was going to prison or not than about the loss of her grandchild and didn't seem to show any guilt and care and made it all about her and how she is the victim here just got me so frustrated. I wouldn't be surprised if it was on purpose and not just neglect. 🤮🤮
As a person who suffers with chronic inflammation/fatigue/pain from an autoimmune disorder, I was so appalled by the story about that mom telling her son to leave his partner. A person with a chronic Illness can absolutely be independent and not a burden. There are SO many inter-abled couples who make it work just fine, so to see a person encouraging their loved one to throw away true love over a factor that cannot be controlled, is so sad. Caretaker fatigue is real, but then you just be honest with your partner and take a step back. But it doesn’t even sound like he had expressed any problem with helping his lady. It was just so gross.
Ive been listening to/watching these for a while now and honestly Alejandra and Lauren will bend over backwards to excuse the most goofy ass behavior sometimes 🙄 No hate, but I’m glad Morgan knows how to see things for what they are and not coddle every douche canoe they talk about
ik this is an old comment, but i’m a new listener and omg i’m so glad someone else said it. i find it soo annoying and i literally cannot listen to/watch episodes with either of them in it bc it’s so frustrating and uncomfortable lol. the only reason i’m listening to this one is bc i’m running out of other episodes😭
Adding to this even though it’s an older comment, but I couldn’t agree more! I literally came to the comments just to see if anyone else was annoyed by Alejandra this episode. I’m a new listener as well and I’m already avoiding the episodes with them in it because I find that they play devils advocate way too much. I almost turned the episode off when Alejandra was bending over backwards to defend the breastfeeding gma. I love when Morgan is joined by other guest that just tell it how it is and don’t try to see reason or justify the assholes.
@@makailareidI was starting to believe I was tha only one who thought like this they pretty much do it in every episode except when some of tha special guests come on well most of them anyways😅 they give every excuse for these Reddit idiots granted not all and I’m constantly hearing “narcissist” or gaslighting” thrown around all the time some people are just plain right out dicks
Ok, thought I was a jerk for thinking that. I don’t like them together lol too much “well I get it” NO MAAM. Be honest lol stop coddling terrible behavior out of fear of judging people. People deserve judgement and shame sometimes lol
@@makailareidi’m a newer listener too and the only one i ever get super irritated with is Ale, and i hate criticizing another person like that, but sometimes I’m just like dude you have got to be kidding me with that sometimes people are just shitty. Not everyone deserves devils advocate.
The second to last one where they talk about family and not being able to see their family for Christmas for 8 years just blows my mind! How can you not let your spouse see their family also why don’t they all just go to his family to see them! They all can go it’s just the three of them why not make it a point to do it all together?
Luckily for mommas giving birth your nurses and doctors listen to you not your husband! You can literally tell them I only want this and that person in the room (even if it’s in your birth plan and not out loud for him to hear) and they will honor YOUR wishes!! If you don’t want visitors they honor it because you are the patient and the main priority!!
My experience giving birth was the nurse and doctors saw my husband as a necessary visitor. He was there to help me. He got food poisoning and was throwing up so hard that they heard him down the hall at the nurse's station. Only at that point did they offer him assistance. Honestly, I would have liked it if they would have taken his sickness a little more seriously because when he was throwing up, I was laboring on my own which sucked. I do understand though that they were there to care for me and my needs and their attitude towards him was kinda passive and possibly they thought he was acting up for attention or something which was not the case. He would throw up, come back to me, and put pressure on my lower back to help me labor. It was crazy and he was a trooper. I definitely got the feeling that the nurses were used to entitled husbands and would not let him come before me.
Facts! I breastfed my son and will be breastfeeding baby #2 soon. I would’ve immediately called the cops on anyone who tried to breastfeed my son, without my consent, and especially someone who isn’t even producing milk. I consider it sexual assault.
I was talking to my mom about my brother who just had a baby 2 months ago. I asked if she was excited because when my first niece was born she was very involved. She said “no… it’s different when it’s your sons child” and I was so glad she seemed to understand.
If your spouse doesn't protect you from your in-laws' abuse or humiliation, that means (s)he is choosing them over you and (s)he is chicken crap. Don't allow yourself to be treated that way.
The story with the wife who has a chronic illness if her concern is her son being so worn out she should either help herself or pay for help. Meal delivery, laundry service, housekeeping would all be a good option.
I hate that his mother is acting like that. I'm sometimes scared that my mil will do that to us. She won't but it still is a fear that floats around sometimes. I hate that and the fact that she told the girlfriend is insane.
The "My Baby" often comes from emotionally incestuous relationships. The Mother sees her son as her partner and his wife/partner as a surrogate and the child as hers. It's really messed up
I breastfed for 18 months and i couldnt imagine ANYONE trying to breastfeed my child. Its a violation of boundaries and I would cut someone out of my life permanently for that.
With the breastfeeding? Absolutely would not give her a second chance. She didn't show any remorse and who's to say that the next time she's alone with the baby she wouldn't go to "breastfeed" in the bathroom or somewhere she doesn't have cameras? If someone wanted "privacy" with my baby that's a red flag
53:41 this mom should be happy and proud that she raised a son who is willing and wanting to stick by his partner's side while dealing with something like this. It is terribly common that a lot of spouses (specifically husbands) who don't stick by their partner's side during a medical situation. She should take pride in her son, not shame him.
You should do an episode just on toxic in-laws not just MILs. I have the worst sister-in-law (married to my husbands brother) but an amazing relationship with my MIL
Only 7% of child abuse predators sexual or not are strangers family members are just as dangerous if not more than strangers because they are less likely to be caught due to the parents being blinded by trust from family bonds also the grandmother has some issues this sounds like some form of enmeshment or emotional incest that needs to be addressed as quickly as possible as to not traumatize the baby later on
thoughts on a guest host for stalkers? I’ll bring CURRENT receipts on this woman and the cheater boyfriend. I’m so tired of watching GOOD people be victims of theses freaks and others like them. We all deserve to know before the wedding day! Lord help them, they are evil.
I kicked my husband out while I was in labour for a bit. The husband had no right to being there, and definitely extended family has even less right. The hospital won't even let the partner in the room if the labouring person doesn't agree.
The last story: that grandmother is making everything about herself. Everything was about her from the beginning. She had clothes in the dryer. She felt worse than the parents. She didn’t mean for it to happen. She should be able to see her own grandchild. Her son didn’t visit her once in prison. Her son left his mother. All of it is about her in her head. And it IS non remorseful. She doesn’t care about anyone but herself. A person THAT self centred would never feel remorse. The family should get a f*cking restraining order against that b*tch.
I was thinking she’s trying to do it again too. There is no evidence of insecurity on her part, if she’s lashing out because of it she would sound totally different while still lashing out. There is none of that here. She wants to do it again.
A man who treats his chronically ill wife so well is honoring his marriage before God and humans and his very wife. I love the husband/son. Mom needs to stop!!
If MIL really wanted to help, and if she really did love the DIL like she said, she would figures out a way to help shoulder the load of dealing with chronic illness rather than trying to drop it completely
@@gummybunns9885 My MIL told my husband that I was using him and that he shouldn’t marry me. We have cut her out of our lives for the most part. He will go to her house if he HAS to but he stands up for me which is more than a lot of these husbands do.
If I had a nickel for every time I’ve heard a Reddit story about a grandma trying to breastfeed their grandchild… I’d have two nickels. Which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it happened twice
The blatant ableism in Alexas story made me physically nauseas. Roughly 20% of the population is disabled, disability can strike ANYONE at ANYTIME and that does NOT make you any less worthy of love, dignity, and care. You don’t leave your spouse when they have cancer - so why the f would you think it’s ok to try to convince someone to leave their spouse when they’re sick in a different way?!? Disability doesn’t make you any less of an amazing spouse, if you actually believe the only thing that makes someone worthy of love is a “fully functioning” body... seek help.
That second one had me. I'm male, married and if my wife is pregnant, then it's WE are having a baby (assuming it's mine). That said, I'm not the one growing the lill human and have to eventually get it out. 100% all you. If having a clown blow balloon animals while a mariachi band plays, fuck, fine! I don't care. I just wanna be there to support you giving birth but how it happens is all up to you. Dude needs to take a second look at his mom and re-evaluate how invested he is in his marriage. She might be my mom but your my partner. We're together for a reason (vows, rings, tax write offs non-withstanding), and that reason means more to me.
My MIL lives with us and has for 3 years, but I also had a voice in that decision. And I was made very clear by both her and my man that the decision was ultimately mine. We had other options for her, they just weren't as ideal. And she in exchange takes care of all of our child care and she is very helpful around the house. She is very respectful of our space, to the point where we often ask her to come out and hang with us because we want to make sure she is comfortable too. It is honestly the most perfect MIL situation I could have ever asked for, and I am so lucky that it works so well. Even if we have disagreements that she can hear, she does not get involved and we agreed neither of us would put her in the middle. My man is more of a "Mama's boy" but never to the point of putting her before me. And she NEVER tries to be that type of MIL. I wish everyone could have a MIL like mine.
The grandmother breastfeeding her grandsons is so disturbing. You should add this to your episode where you re-evaluate the story. Would be interesting to see if Alejandra has a different take on it now.
MIL breastfeeding is disturbing. If she nursed her kids she know the baby would be soothed by her breast. At 2 months the baby knows who is mom and who is not. She has deeper issues. I’d flip out big time. Alice’s husband needs to sit back. He’s not giving birth. He’s not going through it. Alice gets to be “selfish”. It’s her birth. It’s about what will make her comfortable and who can offer her the support she needs. Giving birth in covid I couldn’t have my mom there. It still upsets me I didn’t have my full support system. He’s in the wrong in my opinion. And his mother should understand. If she doesn’t she’ll visit later.
The last story, I feel like, in my opinion, even if the grandma felt bad and genuinely apologized, they literally left a 2-year-old alone outside by water, so they could switch the laundry. In what world is that logically okay?
The story about the disabled woman broke my heart. This person OUTSIDE the relationship decided they knew what their son needed more than said son because they thinks disabled people don't deserve love unless maybe it's with another disabled person. Disgusting. Disabled people already deal with feeling like a burden enough!
I know this episode is old but I just discovered this podcast. On the birth one I just wanna say ALL birth is natural. C section or vaginal delivery, epidural or unmedicated. Induced or spontaneous all birth is natural ❤️ love y’all
for the second one at this point i wouldn't let the husband in the room. he's not gonna believe his pregnant wife and then force her to have his demon spawn mom in the room? and then is gonna reply to comments saying "her dads in the room isnt that weird?" THATS HER DAD! not some random lady from the street who suddenly becomes family once she marries some ass hole. dont let the husband in the room either. honestly the audacity.
When he started about how it's "weird" for the dad to be there, I lost it completely. The OP makes it out to be something it isn't He's selfish and excuses his mothers abusive behaviour I hope his wife leaves him honestly
Sorry but for me it's really strange to give birth in front of anyone who isn't your husband or medical staff. I would never want my parents to see me like this 😖😖😖
the alexa story hit close to home... as someone who has a genetic disorder that'll most likely cause me to become disabled in the future, this story made me tear up. I told my boyfriend right away what's about to come and he met my dad who's already in the severe disabled state that I am afraid of becoming, and my boyfriend still chooses to be with me and wants to spend his life with me. the guilt I feel for what's about to come and the exhaustion it might cause him is unbearable, so I also asked him if that's really what he wants for his future, but he still chooses this. I'm terribly afraid of ruining his life with my health deteriorating, so I completely of understand where the mom is coming from. you have no idea how reassuring your reactions were. you are right, if someone chooses this, it's their choice and not anyone other's to make. we can have a happy life, despite everything. thank you!
I had the same thought hearing this. My condition is, thankfully, just going to be a continuous decline in mobility until I do end up in a wheelchair, it’s so difficult to hear stories like that where people like us are viewed as nothing more than a burden
I feel for you. Personally, that chronically ill wife story pissed me tf off. My mother is chronically ill and still managed to support my family for so many years, and my father cares for her while also being such huge support in my life. If my grandparent suggested divorce, I would want to bludgeon them. Not only is that not at all their business, they think of my parents’ situation as a ‘failed’ marriage? As a marriage where two people should not be together? How dare a family member or whoever for trying to be anything other than a source of support and love. It is not their place. I am so grateful for my mother’s strength, and my father’s selflessness and love. Being chronically ill or having a chronically ill loved one is devastating. It can break people. I really wish you the best, and hope you remember your value and don’t ever forget it.
I have a genetic disorder as well. I have known for some time so when my bf and were talking I told him all about it. It is a connective tissue disorder called Marfan's syndrome. I cannot make connective tissue properly. This can affect the heart (sorry I neglected to mention this). This is also degenerative. Obviously I can't have kids and he had to be okay with it. To me, he is the only person who hasn't treated me at all differently for knowing, he has always been so accepting of me. That was huge to me even when we were friends. I seem to have a mild case and I do my best to keep myself healthy. People in my family have lived long lives and also have been very sick very young so I don't really know what to expect but I have had an echocardiogram recently and my heart is currently healthy. I was the youngest person in that waiting room by decades. It was surreal. We both have health issues and do our best and relate a lot to each other. There is a lot of love in being cared for when I have a migraine. I have been so weak I have had him bathe me before and I would have felt ashamed if I could do it myself and if trying wouldn't have made me sicker, and he did it so lovingly. That was the only reason I got to sleep that night. He used to have migraines but rarely gets them now. My bf went with me to the geneticist and after we ate hot dogs and cried. Interestingly enough, I am more terrified for my bf at the moment because his family has discovered a genetic condition that affects the kidneys and he wants to give his dad a kidney but it is possible his will become just as sick at any time. Makes me feel sick to imagine him having one kidney and it failing. He still needs to be tested so 😧 Whatever happens we are in it together
You are worthy of love. The mother in ops post was saying that anyone who is unhealthy is not worthy of love because they are a burden and that's just not true. If someone who loves you commits to the relationship knowing what's to come and what already is that is there choice and a healthy person is not any better than someone who is not. All life should be valued, all life should feel love. If someone chooses you don't push them away with well ill become a burden. In this life we don't know when we will become a burden to or loved ones but it will happen if u grow old with the one u love. To put it in perspective say u were perfectly healthy and u got married during that time then all of a sudden u got cancer or some other illness that will affect u and your loved ones life immensely you would not tell them leave me I'm too much a burden or feel guilty for something that happened out of your control. You would expect them to fulfill there duties as your partner who agreed to the vows in sickness and in health as you would for them if the situation was reversed. So why would u feel guilty or like your holding them back when they aren't blindsided by the illness they know what's to come and still want to be there because they love u. Also look at it this way if he was the one sick would u love him any less?
I’ve been married 24 years, chronically ill for 18 of those. Sometimes it’s really hard for both of us, but my husband has never regretted sticking by me. And you know, what? Sometimes I feel better and life is great. Everyone, and every relationship, has ups and downs. The partner that sticks around for all of it will be stronger and happier for it.
With the breast-feeding story: I believe that it's not always a person's actions, but their RE-actions that tell you who they are. The grandmother's focus on the camera, and the anger she directed at the mother showed this may not have been a one time occurrence. I am not a mother, so I can't speak on authority but a pacifier and breast are very different. The skin-to-skin, the smell, heartbeat, and the warmth are all factors for a baby feeding, a pacifier doesn't have those factors so there's less chance of frustration on the baby. The grandmother breast-feeding, in my understanding, can lead to the baby getting confused, or not latching in the future. Using a finger, or something similar I can understand, but this was more than a impulsive decision, it was a total lack of boundaries and common sense. I understand the point about overall character. We don't know much about the grandmother, nor their previous relationships before this case. However, I do know that if I had a nanny and they did this, I would fire them on the spot, so that logic applies to family as well. I would hire outside help until the baby's no longer breast-feeding before trusting the grandmother alone with them again.
The last story, I truly believe the grandmother did it on purpose. Her begging them not to call the cops and then showing zero guilt or remorse for what happened and thinking she had the right to see their other child....nah. good for the parents keeping their child safe from her. I'm happy they were able to stay together and heal together.
I agree here. The child was probably not doing something the grandmother wanted and so she killed her. Then tried to make it look like an accident. Or worse, it was premeditated. And then, trying so hard to get to the next child?! I feel she just wants to hurt that one too. No way! You hear about this kind of crap with sexuality and physically abusive family members too often, thinking “I’m family! I have rights!” Fuck that! My child has a right to feel safe, and not be abused or murdered. Their rights come before anyone else’s entitlement.
I agree I think she wanted to turn herself into a victim and wanted sympathy from people that her grandbaby died because of her initial statements being all about her (“this is worse for me than it is you” to parents who just lost their fucking baby). Kinda like those sick parents who make their kids sick for sympathy and attention but to a worse degree.
I somehow hit the MIL lottery twice. My first MIL, Kathy- RIP, truly loved me like her daughter. She was one of my best friends and loved me unconditionally. When she realized her son was on drugs and abusive, she tried MANY times to get me to leave him. In the end, I stayed so I could care for her at the end of her life. 4 days after the funeral, he drained our bank account and went on a bender. I packed up everything I could into a duffel bag and left. Never went back. My current MIL is also amazing! She is one of my best friends. We get along so well!! Helped her leave her abusive husband and get on her feet. She raises our niece and is always only a call away for advise or just to listen. She respects our boundaries, our relationship and the fact that we are adults making choices for our life. I see so many of my friends STRUGGLING with MILs and their relationships, and I am like, yea I don't get it. No frame of reference. All the MILs I have experienced have been AMAZING! I hope to be that kind of MIL when my 18 yo son is in a long term relationship one day! ♥
The third story makes me so mad. My husband has stage 4 kidney disease. I knew he had kidney disease when we started dating. We are married with children. I know I won’t get the “growing old together”. I will be a widow most likely in my 40s. I would never imagine leaving my husband. I can’t believe that mom asked that. It makes my blood boil.
I had a sitter once that WAS breastfeeding her baby (6mo. At the time), and my breastfed baby (2mo. At the time) could smell her milk, and would NOT take a bottle. She called and told me, and asked if I was okay with her giving him her boob. I told her "as long as you're cool with it, I'm cool with it! Feed that baby. " ❤
The Alexa story’s so insanely ableist. It’s a valid concern about carer fatigue if she notices a change in her son. What is not okay is thinking they need to be separated so he can be normal? What does that even mean. Anyone can become disabled at any moment. If you think he’s struggling ask how you can help. Don’t assume.
It’s also low-key misogynistic. If the roles were reversed, then nobody would question a wife, choosing to diligently stand by her husband through chronic illness. Getting diagnosed with a chronic illness also comes with a grieving process. Once they adapt, theirs absolutely no reason he can’t experience a fulfilling happy lifetime, along with the woman he loves.
@@Alejandra-hz6ct i see your point! it's hard to imagine how you would react in a situation like that in the moment but i definitely see your reasoning. if it was the ONLY red flag they've had, i don't see a reason to go NC. doubt the husband would fully agree to that either
@@gothtonyhawk Thanks Haley! That is exactly what I was getting at. Very hard to imagine it because of course I am not a mother/do not breast feed so that could change my opinion! But where I was at in this convo, that is how I saw it!
I live with my sister, her husband, and new baby. And I have personally sat with him screaming in my ear trying to soothe him, during his breastfeeding period, for hours and never once would consider something so inappropriate. Breastfeeding is a bonding experience between mom and baby, just like the mother said, and I can only imagine she’ll be thinking about that when she goes to breastfeed her baby in the future. That’s horrible! I would let her see baby in the future, provided that she apologizes profusely, but she would never be babysitting again.
God these stories make me super grateful for my wonder MIL. My husband’s family immediately welcomed me into their family as one of their own. These people are just so mean and spiteful.
I had a problem with my husband siding with his mother. She's a very loud confrontational person and would often get drunk, ambush me, and air her grievances. It was a great source of stress for me. My husband had even witnessed it a couple of times, but would never step in. When I asked why he didn't have my back, he said he didn't want to be in the middle of anything or choose a side because that's his mother. I told him "That answer was you choosing your mother and her feelings over mine." We didn't speak of it for a while and I stopped wanting to go to their house and avoided it at all costs. I finally broke one day after weeks of his mother pressing me about having more kids. I had said I was done repeatedly. He said she didn't have bad intentions. So, I said "You married me. You had a child with me. You live with me. You come home TO ME. You go to sleep next to me. But you can't support or respect me. Maybe Everything I listed should change. And you can go back home to mommy. Cause I want no part of this if it's going to be this way." Haven't had a problem SINCE.
That last story should be made into a movie. It was tragic, thrilling, and romantic. I’m currently exiting this emotional roller coaster not knowing how to feel.
As a MIL myself I would never ask my lovely DIL to let me in her labor room. I would be over the moon if they became pregnant but I would never interject myself in any of her birth plans. My place (unless otherwise instructed) is in the waiting room.
This one time I was at a restaurant with my boyfriends mom and I was having a hard time choosing what to eat and after a second she looks at me and says “hunny can u read do u need us to read it to u?” I was dead 💀
I really like how you two have varying opinions, take the time to listen and explain those opinions, and really try to see things from different perspectives! I saw y’all on TikTok and you were suggested on here for me and I was like OH HEY I KNOW THEM!! Thanks for the good videos/listening to help me clean my room!
I literally cannot standddddd when my parents or in laws say “my baby”. My parents stopped because I had to tell them how it bugged me, but my husband hasn’t told them how I feel. Drives me nuts 😭
I’d just correct them. My in-laws respect me enough to not bite back. We had a rough patch where they walked all over me, but I prevailed and become more abrasive but fun to be around, so, they don’t question me when I say stuff now.
My mom said the same thing. She told me that I’m just the surrogate. I told her that’s what restraining orders are for. She laughed nervously. Try me if you want.
Considering your feelings/fears towards child birth and some of the amazing (not necessarily positive) birth stories you've shared, I think it would be sooo cool to see you and mama Dr Jones do a collab!!! She frequently does videos reacting to TLCs I didn't know I was pregnant videos and I think she would absolutely loveeee birth related Reddit stories
The chronically ill wife one gets me. My mother-outlaw tried to convince my chronically critically ill hubby not to go through with the marriage and he told her we getting married. She then went to my parents and asked them to put a stop to it and they refused. Thankfully, they never even mentioned it to me. A month after we got married, he passed away and his mom lost it on me and pretty much said I was the reason he died because he stopped letting her control his healthcare decisions. We now have a court-ordered restraining order and split custody of his headstone & plot (left is hers, right is mine).
As far as the first story: I had my moms friend nurse me while she was watching me once and I got thrush all over my mouth. I wouldn’t take a bottle for anything and she was also a mom but it was still way out of line and gross and I literally got sick. So overall GROSS. My mom never let that person watch me again...AS SHE SHOULD
When I had my daughter I had 4 people in the delivery room (my mom, my husband, MIL, and SIL) although I love them all and we have a great relationship it was very chaotic and hectic. So 10 years later when I had my son my husband and I chose to not have anyone in the room, it was the most amazing delivery experience ever because he and I were able to focus on each other, it was intimate, and we connected on a deeper level. We got to spend the 1st 2 hours just the 2 of us taking in all the wonders of a new baby, plus I was able to get cleaned up and “slightly” recover in peace and then when we were ready we had everyone come to the hospital. As a woman who is the one going through the labor and bringing life into this world it is her decision who she wants around her during this stressful time and I definitely wouldn’t want that toxic woman anywhere near me!
The whole MIL breastfeeding thing... The MIL is INSANE. There is nooooo explanation for that. The fact that MIL responded the way she did outright proves she knew she was wrong. Alejandra.. I wish you had a child to fully understand how not okay this is in no way shape or form.
@@jaybaebaesway3572 Hi hi- I said about 3 times in this episode alone that I am not a mother so I cannot really speak from that perspective, only from my own experience and opinions. This podcast is opinion-based, not in any way directional or to objective, and these are blind reactions meaning we are not previewed on the stories before they are read and we are recording. So with that said, I am not sure how I can opine on majority of these wild stories just because it doesn’t apply to me personally. Yes, it is absolutely a lot of opinion from me as a co-host on this because that is what we are here to do: give a hot take.
@@jaybaebaesway3572 No worries- you didn't offend me, you are a stranger to me as I am to you. But I also took notice that you are commenting on here multiple times that I am your least favorite guest in relation to discussing a hot topic and opinion- so I just wanted to take an opportunity to explain the nature of this podcast and hopefully you'll still come back to enjoy it anyway 🙏🏼
Hi MiVida, you are right in that I don't have a baby so I cannot fully understand it- this was just my opinion. And you make a good point, so thanks for giving us your take! I wish I could say let's circle back and see if my opinion changes after a kid, but I have nooo idea when that will be 😂😩
The one thing that helps me continue to love my partner for them and not getting to anxious about the family in law is this "You do NOT marry into another family. You marry to create your own and the others are just added on weather it's a plus or not"
I have to agree 100% on the MIL calling her grandchild “my baby” is cringe. I’ve told my husband multiple times to tell her to stop and correct herself to “my grand baby”, but he thinks it’s normal, and honestly, I’ve just cut off his family because of it. They can’t understand that it’s 1) extremely creepy to claim a baby as if they birthed them & 2) it’s just not ok to make someone feel uncomfortable like that
I WISH I would have known about this to send in my segment on my MIL 🤣 you guys would be MINDBLOWN. Currently battling because she’s a manipulative narcissist and her and her daughter say the most horrible things about me, because I won’t let them do what they want with my child when they want, and take her whenever they please. Sorry not subjecting her to the toxicity my husband grew up with 🤷🏼♀️
Listener Write-Ins
First Write In - 3:51
Second Write In - 4:55
Third Write In - 10:51
Fourth Write In - 14:47
Reddit Stories
First Story - 17:51
Second Story - 39:51
Third Story - 53:41
Fourth Story - 1:05:20
Fifth Story - 1:21:44 (TW: Child Death)
Thank you!!!
Thanks for doing this! I work and listen and sometimes lose track so this is really helpful!
I literally need these comments on every video
Thank you for the TW too!!!
I really appreciate it because sometimes I watch the individual stories and I don’t want to re-listen the same story 😂
Bruuuh that second story with the guy wanting his mom in the delivery room was insane. The way OP was just totally oblivious and really just not caring about the fact that his mom is abusive to his wife is a huge red flag. I feel so bad for his wife, and part of me is just telling her to run. A guy who has no problem with his mom verbally and emotionally abusing his wife isn't exactly the kinda guy you want to have a family with.
For real! I feel so bad for the wife and I really hope that she leaves him after all of this. His comments to the comments are so bad and it seemed like he posted the original to try to get people to tell him he wasn’t the asshole. It seems like he is totally oblivious to how bad HE is in this situation and all the situations revolving his mom.
I got so mad while listening that story. My heart is beating so fast.
And sounds like he is in denial about his mum being horrible to his wife and tbh not really caring. She needs to get rid of him, he's so ignorant and selfish.
Fr fr bcz like. He is a fucking mamas boy CRYSTAL CLEARLY. And also kinda thought that his wife was lying (even though he pointed out that she is trustworthy and that he heard some snarky remarks). Honestly OP needs to get his shit together or his wife hopefully starts realizing she is better than this and be able to do smthing about it
He’s not pushing a watermelon out of a grape and she’s full splayed out. Fuck him, MIL can kick all rocks the rocks with no shoes.
As a childcare worker I’ve seen WAY more family members endanger children than people in this profession. Damn. Just because someone is “blood” sure as hell doesn’t always mean they’re safe.
Great point! The last story in this really speaks to that, as well!
Good to know! It’s the hardest job I’ve ever had, but being able to support kids and parents is amazing. Proud to call it my career. Love you guys! (Sorry for getting a touch defensive. I’m…hungry? Idk)
yeah this argument was ridiculous like? i wouldnt trust my family member to give me surgery instead of a surgeon
idk. i’ve worked in a daycare and seen plenty of abusive behavior towards children. the risk is there for both sides of it, whether family watches your children or someone in a daycare.
@@briannaoliver7720 same, especially with special needs kids under 2. I've seen some things that have been 2 steps away from needing reported to cps in a childcare facility. I think if they can get mil to understand that baby's PARENTS aren't cool with that behavior so it's off limits, then I might give her a second chance but definitely check in on the cams.
That husband wanting his mom in the delivery room was absolutely disgusting. The MIL and husband both. Super selfish, not understanding how personal and traumatic giving birth can be.
How is that disgusting? I mean I wouldn’t want that. But the spouse needs support sometimes too. Like I get it’s not for everyone. But that’s his first time dealing with it too and he may need support.
@@MessyMama92 I'm a woman and 3 people in a delivery room seems like a crowd. Women need the support since they have to do the hard work. If the husband needs an extra person to hold his hand, he should better wait outside.
@@MessyMama92 maybe i would understand you a bit more if the mother in law was a nice sweet person to his wife but she’s straight up judgmental and brings her down all the time . she’s going to be in such a vulnerable time in her life and to be hearing all her crap at the moment is completely ridiculous. my OWN mother is just as judgmental and has brought me down my entire life and i do NOT want her in my own birthing room.. if the husband wants support he can wait in the waiting room with his mom and let his wife have the support she needs. at this point he wouldn’t be any support because he would just be holding on to resentment..
The MIL would cause more stress. Keep her away.
@@MessyMama92But he didn’t want support because he needed it, he wanted her there because “she’s exited to be a grandmother”. So what? You are not celebrating your baby’s birthday, your wife is giving birth. SHE is the patient, and SHE gets to choose who she needs to be there.
The breastfeeding MIL cannot be defended. Yes, Alejandra that IS insane 😭✋🏼
Right that is indefensible who tf does that
I was on the fence until I mentally switched the gender of the caretaker. Imagine a father in law did that?!
I can see Alejandra's point, MIL might have legitimately just not thought about it and might not have mental health problems, but that was a WILD choice and possibly a deranged one.
Some babies want to nurse for comfort and refuse pacifiers. This is a completely natural thing. Obviously the MIL shouldn't have done it in secret but babies are biologically inclined to breastfeed for comfort, not just food
@@NickyD-fd5xk nursing for comfort is normal. Nursing for comfort from the breast of someone not producing milk and behind the parents back is 100 percent not normal. I breastfed my son for two years. Immediately this person would never be around my child. No one in their right mind would think this was fine to do under these circumstances.
I feel like it’s almost SA boardering
The mother in law breastfeeding the baby I think she was upset about the camera because she’s done it before and just finally got caught.
ABSOLUTELY.
Not to mention, I would be JUST as pissed as if I saw anyone, even my also nursing sister, breastfeeding my child without clear and obvious permission.
No one sees this as a sexual thing and could be a form of child abuse !! Like I would never put my child in her care ever again and prob call the police
For sure, she was mad she got caught, not for being “spied” on. I’m not sure if she’s fully aware that there was a nanny cam in the nursery, but she should’ve been. They’ve been around forever and a new mom would probably want to check the monitor a lot just for the sake of seeing her baby. Either way, I think the OP should invest in more “nanny cams” (I guess more like actual spy cams) so the MIL doesn’t try to pull a fast one and block the known nanny cam or walk the baby out of the room to do the same creep ass thing.
@@goddz6145 yeah, that’s a tricky one. Like on one hand people say we shouldn’t sexualize breasts, their entire function is to feed offspring #freethenipple, but on the other hand we don’t live in a vacuum and neither does the MIL who knows dam well she’s not lactating and if this was with a baby or child that wasn’t nursing it would definitely be seen as abuse of some kind. So yeah, it’s creepy no matter how you look at it though.
@@brittanisnyder9205 my SIL has breastfeed my son before but it was something I was perfectly fine with, especially because I was struggling with breastfeeding,(learned almost 2 years later bloodloss from my c-section caused damage to my pituitary which makes the hormone to make milk) and I was at work at the time. But for someone to do it without making sure it's okay first, that's fucked
As someone who just gave birth 3 weeks ago, that MIL does NOT need to be in the room, any decent nurse would actually kick her out pretty early on simply because the MIL talking will likely elevate the moms Blood pressure which usually causes the babies heart rate to drop and lead to her having to have a C section. Dad is just as much of a parent as mom but mom is the only one who has a say of who gets to be in the delivery room because she’s giving birth!!
Yep- she’ll raise the birthing mom’s blood pressure and cortisol & adrenaline levels which will slow labor.
And MIL chose to be rude, even the husband acknowledged it, so these are the consequences of her actions
Yes. Delivery is more about the support of the mother. All decisions need to made about the mother’s comfort and health. She can see the baby in the hospital after the birth
As a MIL I would never even ask to be in the room. I am happy to say that my dil chose for them to build a house right across the street from us. That made me happy and now I keep my granddaughter while they work. ❤️❤️❤️
@@toriscottlynch3138 That’s amazing. I have been trying to get as far away from my in laws as possible lol I don’t think I would trust any of them to care for our daughter. My family has done EVERYTHING for us so far, I wish they weren’t so bad for my husbands sake
Breast feeding MIL honestly shouldn’t have another chance yet because she did not seem remorseful at all and she didn’t even see what she did wrong
💯 and the fact that MIL said that mom invaded HER privacy. Straight gaslighting.
And this is just the only time the mom has caught it. Who knows how long it’s been going on for.
@@kimcake2112Great point, the MIL was caught at it this time. I've heard stories of some women while breastfeeding their own baby have an orgasm.
By the MIL reaction my mind went to a completely different place like take a picture get the police involved kinda thing.
@@kittykat65that is horrifying I have never heard of that before… MIL should NOT have another chance at all
@@kimcake2112pppppp
Alejandra was wild for that take on the breastfeeding MIL...I'm Peruvian and when I was a baby, the nanny my parents hired did beat me and they immedietly shut it down. They hired a new nanny and to this day I consider her a treasured part of my life, despite not being related to us biologically. Families aren't at all inherently better caretakers to children, and one anecdote about a Peruvian family shouldn't deter you from realizing that this MIL is insane. Shout out to both of them for being able to maintain a mature dialogue though...I don't think I could've done so
Lots of air in her head.
My sister’s bf stood by her when she was struggling with alcoholism (7 years sober now) and a few years later he was paralyzed by a spinal chord injury. They stood by each other’s side when things got tough. Just because it’s harder, doesn’t mean they’ll be happier apart. My sister & her fiancé are getting married next week!
That sounds like real love!🥰
That is so sweet. Hope they have a long and happy life together ❤️
My boyfriend had a stroke last year I have had to do things i never thought i would have to at 36. But I have never once thought about not doing any of it and walking away. I kills me when people say I couldn't do that.
How was the wedding?
That's very sweet, I wish them lots of happiness
I like how when these women disagree on a point, they're very mature and the discussion doesn't devolve into an argument.
Totally agree, so refreshing
agreed!
Agreed! Definitely felt some tension though that was making me feel awkward lol
@@emilyrobinson5791 same! I was feeling very awk when Morgan was trying to explain the difference between pacifiers vs nipples and it was just not computing lol
@@nicolem4673 Because Morgan was wrong, dry nursing is very much a thing and babies don’t need there to be milk as a reward to continue sucking if all they’re looking for is comfort, not food. Just speaking as a mom who has breastfed 3 babies, and even continued to occasionally dry nurse my 2nd months after my milk had completely dried up due to pregnancy lol
About the wife with terminal illness- the MIL says “I’m his mother….” Well he’s 28 so the mothering is really over. You get no influence on your adult child’s decisions. That’s vile.
No force ever would take me away from MY person, & no "mother" should want to separate her child from THEIR person. There is something WRONG with that woman. That's not how love or even how life works. I'm not religious & it's in sickness and health.
The fact that the mother in law got so upset about the camera catching her trying to breastfeed the baby makes me believe she isn't mad about the camera. I feel like she has maybe done it before and is now just upset that she was caught.
To automatically assume that a person with a chronic illness can’t give as much to a relationship is ableism.
Thank you for saying this. Whilst I’m still young and it doesn’t sound as though I have anything like what the wife in this story has, I have a condition that means that my mobility will decline significantly over time and I’ll most likely end up in a wheelchair. This story really upset me and I’m well aware that one day I might be that kind of ‘burden’ too.
I have two chronic illnesses and a disability, and what you can bring to a relationship is just a little different, not any less than for an able-bodied relationship. People who jump to that conclusion forget that everyone has struggles that the other person will have to deal with, no matter what. Unless they express issues, it's no one's business.
@@sophielegge6536 eds gang?
Seriously. So the MIL thinks that people with chronic illness don't deserve love?? God forbid something to happen to her one day and tell her husband to leave. Very disturbing.
It really is
Yeah, a lot of chronically ill/disabled people have things we can’t do, but that doesn’t mean that the love we can give is any less than
The grandmother “breastfeeding” story is so disturbing for me. The only way she’d get another chance at watching my baby was if she owned up to her mistake, apologized, and promised never to do such a thing again. And accepts that those cameras will be staying ON.
Sure, it was most likely a lapse of judgement, and the occurrence of female pedophiles is very low, but from that point on, I would be on alert. Soooo inappropriate.
And she better knock that entitled attitude off, yesterday. This is OP’s child. The parents decide what’s best for baby, period.
What worries me is that she might just move the baby to another room where there aren't any cameras or find a blindspot to do it.
I am a firm believer of cameras on the outside of your house every entrance. But after this I would defiantly have cameras inside as well. If you can't trust family who are you supposed to trust
@@sashaawinoatieno2633 id recommend getting more cameras in the house. But not tell her. Like she knows about the monitor, but get some nanny cams and see what she does.
Even if she would apologize I would never trust her around my kinds. NEVER!
No way in hell she did not know she wasn’t Yknow making milk
That was so weird no. I do not care.
On the delivery room story
I had a friend that just didn’t want anyone in the room other than her and her doctor, she didn’t even want her husband there. After they got in a fight over this she asked for advice from anyone that would listen, and this is what I would say to any woman about to give birth. The only people that get to make any decisions regarding the birthing process are the doctors helping to make sure the child and mother are healthy and may need to make decisions, and the mother that has carried this child for 9 months and is now going to be doing the most stressful, painful, and emotional thing a woman can ever do
The women that adopted me always blamed me for all her problems even after i moved out! She always said I would never graduate high school (which I did) when I was pregnant she said my daughter would be deformed and would be mentally challenged which crossed the line who says that about an unborn child!!! I've had her blocked for 13 months now and my life has been so much better
That is fucked up holy shit
GOOD for you! No one should have to put up with toxicity it doesn't matter who it's from. Love & good luck to you & your baby.
Currently nursing my 2nd child. I would lose my SHIT if I pulled up a camera and found my MIL nursing my baby. That's disgusting. Checking the cameras to see if everything is okay is not wrong. The MIL losing her shit on her for being upset about the breast feeding and checking the cameras is sus. My guess is that isn't the 1st time and her reaction over the camera tells me she is worried about getting caught doing that or something more. IF they did give her another chance there would be some MAJOR boundaries set and if they were crossed there would be zero discussion. But I don't know that I could get over my MIL breast feeding my child.
Idk if it’s me being too dramatic or something but I would feel so disgusted and start to think that is actually sexual assault.
honestly i feel the same i find it disgusting and that kind of behavior makes me worried that it could lead to the kid growing up being sexually assaulted bt the grandmother
@@Amazingunicorn821 YES OMG! i was thinking the same thing it’s so beyond violating not just for the parents but for the baby!!!
Not only would I be setting major boundaries but I’d also be putting more cameras in the house and making it clear that I would be checking said cameras more. If grandma goes into the bathroom with baby, I’d be questioning it as well because a baby can entertain themselves for a quick second while someone goes to the bathroom. So there would be no need to take a baby to the bathroom with her if she tries to say that
I feel like a good way to judge this would be how would you react if you walked in on the FIL ‘nursing’ the baby? Idk if that changes my reaction. Im on Alejandra’s thought process.
If my partner tried to say his mother should be in the room and my dad shouldn't I'd become a single mom real quick.
SAME!!!!!!!!!
Tbh I don't want no man in my room my dad come on mom's and hubby
I don't understand why people care who is in the room. Pregnant mom makes the decision and that's it. Its okay if no one is there, or just the husband, or if you decide more people I guess that's fine. I wouldnt want people there, they can come in after lol.
The story about the mother telling her son to leave his wife SCREAMS ableism!!! How dare she insert herself into their lives by suggesting she leave her son. In sickness and in health, for better or for worse is what marriage is all about. I think the couple is doing their best to love each other and I hope they stay together. It breaks my heart that the woman already feels like a burden and then her MIL made her feel worse.
This. How could she not be proud to have raised such a good guy?He loves his wife for better or for worse, and in sickness and in health. MIL isn’t just an AH this should’ve been moved to “am I the devil”.
Alejandra, that grandmother is INSANE! No right person does that and then gets mad for being caught. If she genuinely thought she was helping the baby then she’d mention it to the mother or text her beforehand. She got embarrassed for being caught and got mad because it was INSANE what she did and she knows it 😳
I nursed two children, and would NEVER attempt to breastfeed someone else's child without their approval or even request (under infant duress). That is not normal or sane for GM to try this.
Exactly! It was annoying me how Alejandra’s was downplaying what the MIL
I fed 7. I completely agree. Even skin to skin with a child that isn't yours requires at least a discussion.
Thank you! I'm a 50s woman with no kids but from a big extended family. I have NEVER heard of this being a normal thing!
As someone who came up in the 70s, I would guess there are groups with some AGREED-UPON feeding of each other's babies.
I also have heard of women breast-feeding infants in an emergency situation and that is great.
But Grandma?!.... All dried up. That is WEIRD. And I would worry to leave a baby with her. TOO Weird!
I breastfed both of mine for over a year and I would have never thought to just nurse anyone else’s babies and I had milk. It’s an intimate thing to nurse a child and you don’t just start feeding other peoples babies bc they’re fussy that’s fucking weird man. I would’ve never let her watch the baby alone again. It’s over for me right there
I've not had children and even if know that's insane and just out of line.
The MIL who’s telling her son to leave his wife because of her illness is literally talking about the situation like it’s an old pet that needs put to sleep. She’s disgusting.
i kinda saw it the other way, while she was the asshole 100% she is seeing the effects tolling her child and she wants him to be doing better, i’d never do anything like this but in a way understand.
@@yurmom_ "If you really care, step up to help." 1:04:40.
That's what I was thinking before they even said it. HELP if you think he is burdened!
(edited to fix time link.)
Let’s not forget wedding vows - she wants them to breakup due to illness. How inhumane.
I think the mom is very ableist. Especially if she’d tell the daughter in law to leave her son if the roles were reversed.
I hope when mom gets old and sick son leaves her in the dust because it's "too hard" to help care for her.
I feel like nurses have no problem kicking people out. If she doesn’t want her there they aren’t going to let her be there. That story really upset me.
Most absolutely correct. If a patient of mine doesn’t want someone in the room (visits, wtv), I’m kicking em to the curb, warning the reception people, the security guard and hospital unit police 😂🤣
Yes! I hate confrontation but I will always be the “bad guy” for my patient when they don’t want family there. I tell them “mom needs to rest” or something. And if she feels bad about me saying that I can always just say “hey we need to check blah blah blah on mom so everyone out”😂 before delivery mom often is stressed and exhausted. And after delivery is such a special bonding time for the new parents and baby, and family can sometimes really take away from that without even realizing.
It’s def worthwhile to read the OPs comments on the breastfeeding story. The MIL could have offered the baby a bottle and chose not to. OP also said that the baby wouldn’t take pacifiers. 100% would not allow her to be alone with my infant ever again.
Yes, it's a huge red flag to me! Bodily fluids such as breast milk are incredibly personal. So are body parts. It makes me so uncomfortable.
Also another point, even though we aren't ducklings, babies imprint on their moms though nursing. The MIL just replaced the baby's mom without the mom's consent, and that's not ok.
Yesss it’s such a bonding experience for baby
My MIL tried to talk me and my SIL out of nursing for that reason. My SIL ended up doing bottles and my MIL become the only person to feed my nephew and it really affected the bond between him and his mother. I’m still breastfeeding and on a regular basis she’s said something about how she wants to be the one to feed him and I’ve had to argue to get him back from her for feedings. It’s a big overstep and it’s 100% not cool.
@@Ashleighsabrinaa that's just not right. I pump and bottle feed my baby and I'm the only one that does it. MIL tried one time and she let her suck the bottle empty for 5 min! I got mad at my husband and told her that from now on it will be only me. And I've told her if she doesn't respect what I am doing or want to do with my baby she can leave.
@@nataliygiriyev8186 Im so proud of you for standing up for yourself and your baby! Not enough people feel comfortable enough, but well done! You are doing amazing
I am currently nursing my first child, and I cannot imagine literally ANYONE trying to nurse my child. (my mom, MIL, or friend). That is absolutely disgusting, and frankly downright disrespectful. Breastfeeding is a very difficult thing to do with your child, that's why many women don't do it or don't do it for long, and I would be royally pissed off and insulted if my MIL did this. She would never be allowed to watch my child alone again.
As someone with chronic illness and disability I am so distraught about the third reddit story. One of my biggest struggles in life is feeling like a burden to my loved ones. My (now ex) husband couldn't handle helping me with things like driving me around or asking him to help with some chores, despite my parents helping far more. He ended up being extremely abusive and only making me worse by compounding what I already had with PTSD. Years later, I am in the worst health of my life and so afraid to ask for help because of the damage he caused to me. I'm so lucky to have parents that I can lean on for this kind of support and that have learned to see what my needs are even if I'm too traumatized to verbalize them.
She should find ways to support her son and daughter in law rather than trying to eliminate the "problem"
I'm disabled too and it's so scary knowing that there are people out there who look at us as easy targets for abuse or scams. I can't bring myself to date anyone or even make new friends.
The person who wants her son to leave his wife disgusts me on so many levels-my husband was diagnosed with kidney disease seven weeks before our wedding, he passed away two weeks ago (six days before our seventh anniversary) and I never regretted a single day of caring for him. Countless hours in hospital were worth every moment I got to be his wife and I’m heartbroken that I’ve lost him.
i am so sorry for your loss
As someone who has been a childcare worker (both privately and daycare) for over 5 years, I have never had the thought to just put a child on my boob if they were upset. And I’ve had inconsolable kids. That’s just not a move, no matter the relation. Even moms typically don’t do that, as it disrupts the feeding schedule and can lead to immense confusion!
As a breastfeeding mom, I 100% agree. If anybody (even my own mom) put my baby on their boob, I’d be disgusted.
Telling the pregnant woman who should be in the room with her in her most vulnerable moment is just a no-go. Absolutely not. Her body is the one changing, her labor is her vulnerable moment. To me it's just not acceptable to make that moment less comfortable for her. It should be whatever makes her most comfortable, no questions asked.
I agree and I honestly feel sorry she's about to have a baby with that man
He clearly doesn't care about how she feels
100% agree. Why does she think she has the right to be there? Its not some fun time where everything is pure bliss, this is a super vulnerable time for the mom AND the baby.
Exactly. Every single person in that room needs to be there for the birthing person and the birthing person only. If they don’t want you there you need to respect that.
Literally. Her and the baby’s *life* are at risk during labor, the husband should be bending over backwards trying to make her comfortable.
I cried on the last one. That mil was delusional to think she had rights to get near their family ever again. Straight up wouldve ended her life before she went to jail for those measly 3 years.
Alejandra: trauma bonding isn’t binding over shared trauma even though it is what it sounds like. A trauma bond is formed by one abusive human toward their victim. This is the type of bond that makes a victim of DV not able to leave, or very much could be caused by a parent to a child.
Came looking for this comment. It’s such a misused term.
About the husband wanting his mother in the room: I asked my dad about this, curious, and he was like "Samantha, I didn't even want to be in the room, I was your mother's person so I don't get a choice lol". My father is a libertarian conservative Catholic, and even he was like "no, it's the wife's choice. The husband doesn't get a choice, your wife is bringing your child into the world, she gets to decide who's helping her do it."
I LOVEEE his response, especially where he says "she gets to decide who helps her do it". Because his mother would NOT be helping at all whatsoever. She has been abusive to her. It's disgusting he doesn't seem to care or believe her. I wish she recorded the treatment on her phone secretly.
That last story had me seeing red. That grandmother has the audacity to demand to see their sons child after she murdered her granddaughter. No. You have no rights. Get a restraining order before she Hurts the New child.
It's like the grandmother has an even more effed up version of Maunchausens by proxy. I wouldn't let that woman have contact with a cheese sandwich, let alone a living child...
YES! Especially the fact that she only got three years in prison.
My husband and I took our two year old to a family bbq at a house I had never been to. And I wasn’t aware that over the hill from where we were sitting (where the kids were playing) there was a koi pond that was huge and my son, much like this young girl loved water. I watched him run away and disappear over the hill and it wasn’t the first time he had ran up the hill and then back to me but for some reason this time my stomach dropped when he disappeared behind the hill and I got up and sprinted down the hill to find my son drowning in the pond. He looked up at me and reached his hand out as I jumped in to save him. There were many older kids around and I was so fast no one even had the chance to see what happened, he coughed up some water and I went and changed him up and had a heart attack for a good few weeks lol but needless to say this was maybe 5 seconds between him getting in and me jumping in to save him because of my motherly instinct. I was furious because nobody had told me there was a pond and I wanted to leave right then but we hadn’t eaten yet and Baby was so hungry after all the chaos so we stayed and cooled down and ate dinner. The night got better. My point is this last story hit home very hard for me, had I not been in touch with my 6th sense at the time I could have been in the same situation as this grandma… how devastating. You can’t always watch 2 year olds every single second of every day. BUT you keep them in eye and ear shot. This story made my stomach turn so hard. I resent myself for even allowing the few seconds that’s happened to occur, I can’t imagine being this woman and not understanding where the parents are coming from.
Yeah, and the fact that she asked not to call the police and cared more about whether she was going to prison or not than about the loss of her grandchild and didn't seem to show any guilt and care and made it all about her and how she is the victim here just got me so frustrated. I wouldn't be surprised if it was on purpose and not just neglect. 🤮🤮
As a person who suffers with chronic inflammation/fatigue/pain from an autoimmune disorder, I was so appalled by the story about that mom telling her son to leave his partner. A person with a chronic Illness can absolutely be independent and not a burden. There are SO many inter-abled couples who make it work just fine, so to see a person encouraging their loved one to throw away true love over a factor that cannot be controlled, is so sad. Caretaker fatigue is real, but then you just be honest with your partner and take a step back. But it doesn’t even sound like he had expressed any problem with helping his lady. It was just so gross.
Ive been listening to/watching these for a while now and honestly Alejandra and Lauren will bend over backwards to excuse the most goofy ass behavior sometimes 🙄 No hate, but I’m glad Morgan knows how to see things for what they are and not coddle every douche canoe they talk about
ik this is an old comment, but i’m a new listener and omg i’m so glad someone else said it. i find it soo annoying and i literally cannot listen to/watch episodes with either of them in it bc it’s so frustrating and uncomfortable lol. the only reason i’m listening to this one is bc i’m running out of other episodes😭
Adding to this even though it’s an older comment, but I couldn’t agree more! I literally came to the comments just to see if anyone else was annoyed by Alejandra this episode. I’m a new listener as well and I’m already avoiding the episodes with them in it because I find that they play devils advocate way too much. I almost turned the episode off when Alejandra was bending over backwards to defend the breastfeeding gma. I love when Morgan is joined by other guest that just tell it how it is and don’t try to see reason or justify the assholes.
@@makailareidI was starting to believe I was tha only one who thought like this they pretty much do it in every episode except when some of tha special guests come on well most of them anyways😅 they give every excuse for these Reddit idiots granted not all and I’m constantly hearing “narcissist” or gaslighting” thrown around all the time some people are just plain right out dicks
Ok, thought I was a jerk for thinking that. I don’t like them together lol too much “well I get it” NO MAAM. Be honest lol stop coddling terrible behavior out of fear of judging people. People deserve judgement and shame sometimes lol
@@makailareidi’m a newer listener too and the only one i ever get super irritated with is Ale, and i hate criticizing another person like that, but sometimes I’m just like dude you have got to be kidding me with that sometimes people are just shitty. Not everyone deserves devils advocate.
You guys should do an episode on coparenting horror stories/bitter exes.
Yes this! Also on experiences with crazy step parents!
YES!!!
Omg yes
The second to last one where they talk about family and not being able to see their family for Christmas for 8 years just blows my mind! How can you not let your spouse see their family also why don’t they all just go to his family to see them! They all can go it’s just the three of them why not make it a point to do it all together?
@@natalieeesarey , THIS...
Luckily for mommas giving birth your nurses and doctors listen to you not your husband! You can literally tell them I only want this and that person in the room (even if it’s in your birth plan and not out loud for him to hear) and they will honor YOUR wishes!! If you don’t want visitors they honor it because you are the patient and the main priority!!
And if they don't get a lawyer
My experience giving birth was the nurse and doctors saw my husband as a necessary visitor. He was there to help me. He got food poisoning and was throwing up so hard that they heard him down the hall at the nurse's station. Only at that point did they offer him assistance. Honestly, I would have liked it if they would have taken his sickness a little more seriously because when he was throwing up, I was laboring on my own which sucked. I do understand though that they were there to care for me and my needs and their attitude towards him was kinda passive and possibly they thought he was acting up for attention or something which was not the case. He would throw up, come back to me, and put pressure on my lower back to help me labor. It was crazy and he was a trooper. I definitely got the feeling that the nurses were used to entitled husbands and would not let him come before me.
@@candace200 wow yeah that’s pretty bad I would hope they would get him help so it’s one less stressor in the room
Home girl defending the breastfeeding grandma is insane sorry 🤨🤨 granny would never see my kid again ??
Facts! I breastfed my son and will be breastfeeding baby #2 soon. I would’ve immediately called the cops on anyone who tried to breastfeed my son, without my consent, and especially someone who isn’t even producing milk. I consider it sexual assault.
Exactly my thoughts.
Idk my grandma gave me her breast when I was an infant to calm me down. Granted, my mom consented to that, but yeah it does work
Mf facts that grandma is insane.
I was talking to my mom about my brother who just had a baby 2 months ago. I asked if she was excited because when my first niece was born she was very involved. She said “no… it’s different when it’s your sons child” and I was so glad she seemed to understand.
I don’t understand ?
If your spouse doesn't protect you from your in-laws' abuse or humiliation, that means (s)he is choosing them over you and (s)he is chicken crap. Don't allow yourself to be treated that way.
The story with the wife who has a chronic illness if her concern is her son being so worn out she should either help herself or pay for help. Meal delivery, laundry service, housekeeping would all be a good option.
I hate that his mother is acting like that. I'm sometimes scared that my mil will do that to us. She won't but it still is a fear that floats around sometimes. I hate that and the fact that she told the girlfriend is insane.
The "My Baby" often comes from emotionally incestuous relationships. The Mother sees her son as her partner and his wife/partner as a surrogate and the child as hers. It's really messed up
My husband would NEVER expect me to sacrifice Christmas with my mom EIGHT YEARS IN A ROW. That's so selfish and unreasonable.
I breastfed for 18 months and i couldnt imagine ANYONE trying to breastfeed my child. Its a violation of boundaries and I would cut someone out of my life permanently for that.
With the breastfeeding? Absolutely would not give her a second chance. She didn't show any remorse and who's to say that the next time she's alone with the baby she wouldn't go to "breastfeed" in the bathroom or somewhere she doesn't have cameras? If someone wanted "privacy" with my baby that's a red flag
53:41 this mom should be happy and proud that she raised a son who is willing and wanting to stick by his partner's side while dealing with something like this. It is terribly common that a lot of spouses (specifically husbands) who don't stick by their partner's side during a medical situation. She should take pride in her son, not shame him.
You should do an episode just on toxic in-laws not just MILs. I have the worst sister-in-law (married to my husbands brother) but an amazing relationship with my MIL
Only 7% of child abuse predators sexual or not are strangers family members are just as dangerous if not more than strangers because they are less likely to be caught due to the parents being blinded by trust from family bonds also the grandmother has some issues this sounds like some form of enmeshment or emotional incest that needs to be addressed as quickly as possible as to not traumatize the baby later on
sometimes its even the parents kids aren't safe anywhere
Some episode ideas: Neighbors, stalkers (we need to hear Alejandra's story!), paranormal/scary stories, military, giving birth/pregnancy, embarassing moments, worst dates, narcissistic relationships
Definitely want to hear some stalker and pregnancy stuff.
Stalkers is coming up on scary stories soon. Alejandra shall be joining!
!!!!!
thoughts on a guest host for stalkers? I’ll bring CURRENT receipts on this woman and the cheater boyfriend. I’m so tired of watching GOOD people be victims of theses freaks and others like them. We all deserve to know before the wedding day! Lord help them, they are evil.
I kicked my husband out while I was in labour for a bit. The husband had no right to being there, and definitely extended family has even less right. The hospital won't even let the partner in the room if the labouring person doesn't agree.
I wish people actually knew what trauma bonding was. Bonding over shared trauma is not the same thing!!
The last story: that grandmother is making everything about herself. Everything was about her from the beginning. She had clothes in the dryer. She felt worse than the parents. She didn’t mean for it to happen. She should be able to see her own grandchild. Her son didn’t visit her once in prison. Her son left his mother. All of it is about her in her head. And it IS non remorseful. She doesn’t care about anyone but herself. A person THAT self centred would never feel remorse. The family should get a f*cking restraining order against that b*tch.
That woman deserves no freedom. Put her on house arrest. She’s following the parents and stalking them. Omg
I was thinking she’s trying to do it again too. There is no evidence of insecurity on her part, if she’s lashing out because of it she would sound totally different while still lashing out. There is none of that here. She wants to do it again.
A man who treats his chronically ill wife so well is honoring his marriage before God and humans and his very wife. I love the husband/son. Mom needs to stop!!
MIL here is a heartless asshole. He's honoring his vows and his wife. Respect that or gtf out if the way
If MIL really wanted to help, and if she really did love the DIL like she said, she would figures out a way to help shoulder the load of dealing with chronic illness rather than trying to drop it completely
who cares abt god in this post?
@@gummybunns9885 My MIL told my husband that I was using him and that he shouldn’t marry me. We have cut her out of our lives for the most part. He will go to her house if he HAS to but he stands up for me which is more than a lot of these husbands do.
If I had a nickel for every time I’ve heard a Reddit story about a grandma trying to breastfeed their grandchild…
I’d have two nickels. Which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it happened twice
The blatant ableism in Alexas story made me physically nauseas. Roughly 20% of the population is disabled, disability can strike ANYONE at ANYTIME and that does NOT make you any less worthy of love, dignity, and care. You don’t leave your spouse when they have cancer - so why the f would you think it’s ok to try to convince someone to leave their spouse when they’re sick in a different way?!? Disability doesn’t make you any less of an amazing spouse, if you actually believe the only thing that makes someone worthy of love is a “fully functioning” body... seek help.
If my MIL EVER tried to breastfeed my child. Lord. Help. Me.
That crosses more boundaries than I will ever be able to comprehend.
It's sexual abuse when you're not the parent/not nursing/not given explicit permission. OP should have pressed charges
That second one had me. I'm male, married and if my wife is pregnant, then it's WE are having a baby (assuming it's mine). That said, I'm not the one growing the lill human and have to eventually get it out. 100% all you. If having a clown blow balloon animals while a mariachi band plays, fuck, fine! I don't care. I just wanna be there to support you giving birth but how it happens is all up to you.
Dude needs to take a second look at his mom and re-evaluate how invested he is in his marriage. She might be my mom but your my partner. We're together for a reason (vows, rings, tax write offs non-withstanding), and that reason means more to me.
My MIL lives with us and has for 3 years, but I also had a voice in that decision. And I was made very clear by both her and my man that the decision was ultimately mine. We had other options for her, they just weren't as ideal. And she in exchange takes care of all of our child care and she is very helpful around the house. She is very respectful of our space, to the point where we often ask her to come out and hang with us because we want to make sure she is comfortable too. It is honestly the most perfect MIL situation I could have ever asked for, and I am so lucky that it works so well. Even if we have disagreements that she can hear, she does not get involved and we agreed neither of us would put her in the middle. My man is more of a "Mama's boy" but never to the point of putting her before me. And she NEVER tries to be that type of MIL. I wish everyone could have a MIL like mine.
The grandmother breastfeeding her grandsons is so disturbing. You should add this to your episode where you re-evaluate the story. Would be interesting to see if Alejandra has a different take on it now.
MIL breastfeeding is disturbing. If she nursed her kids she know the baby would be soothed by her breast. At 2 months the baby knows who is mom and who is not. She has deeper issues. I’d flip out big time.
Alice’s husband needs to sit back. He’s not giving birth. He’s not going through it. Alice gets to be “selfish”. It’s her birth. It’s about what will make her comfortable and who can offer her the support she needs. Giving birth in covid I couldn’t have my mom there. It still upsets me I didn’t have my full support system. He’s in the wrong in my opinion. And his mother should understand. If she doesn’t she’ll visit later.
The last story, I feel like, in my opinion, even if the grandma felt bad and genuinely apologized, they literally left a 2-year-old alone outside by water, so they could switch the laundry. In what world is that logically okay?
The story about the disabled woman broke my heart. This person OUTSIDE the relationship decided they knew what their son needed more than said son because they thinks disabled people don't deserve love unless maybe it's with another disabled person. Disgusting. Disabled people already deal with feeling like a burden enough!
I know this episode is old but I just discovered this podcast. On the birth one I just wanna say ALL birth is natural. C section or vaginal delivery, epidural or unmedicated. Induced or spontaneous all birth is natural ❤️ love y’all
for the second one at this point i wouldn't let the husband in the room. he's not gonna believe his pregnant wife and then force her to have his demon spawn mom in the room? and then is gonna reply to comments saying "her dads in the room isnt that weird?" THATS HER DAD! not some random lady from the street who suddenly becomes family once she marries some ass hole. dont let the husband in the room either. honestly the audacity.
Yes! I'm sorry I know she's giving birth to a child with this man but this sounds like a soon-to-be ex husband 😬😳
@@Sarah-Bouma16 I freaking hope it’s soon to be ex!! 🤞🤞
When he started about how it's "weird" for the dad to be there, I lost it completely. The OP makes it out to be something it isn't
He's selfish and excuses his mothers abusive behaviour
I hope his wife leaves him honestly
Sorry but for me it's really strange to give birth in front of anyone who isn't your husband or medical staff. I would never want my parents to see me like this 😖😖😖
the alexa story hit close to home...
as someone who has a genetic disorder that'll most likely cause me to become disabled in the future, this story made me tear up. I told my boyfriend right away what's about to come and he met my dad who's already in the severe disabled state that I am afraid of becoming, and my boyfriend still chooses to be with me and wants to spend his life with me. the guilt I feel for what's about to come and the exhaustion it might cause him is unbearable, so I also asked him if that's really what he wants for his future, but he still chooses this.
I'm terribly afraid of ruining his life with my health deteriorating, so I completely of understand where the mom is coming from. you have no idea how reassuring your reactions were. you are right, if someone chooses this, it's their choice and not anyone other's to make. we can have a happy life, despite everything. thank you!
I had the same thought hearing this. My condition is, thankfully, just going to be a continuous decline in mobility until I do end up in a wheelchair, it’s so difficult to hear stories like that where people like us are viewed as nothing more than a burden
I feel for you. Personally, that chronically ill wife story pissed me tf off. My mother is chronically ill and still managed to support my family for so many years, and my father cares for her while also being such huge support in my life. If my grandparent suggested divorce, I would want to bludgeon them. Not only is that not at all their business, they think of my parents’ situation as a ‘failed’ marriage? As a marriage where two people should not be together? How dare a family member or whoever for trying to be anything other than a source of support and love. It is not their place.
I am so grateful for my mother’s strength, and my father’s selflessness and love. Being chronically ill or having a chronically ill loved one is devastating. It can break people. I really wish you the best, and hope you remember your value and don’t ever forget it.
I have a genetic disorder as well. I have known for some time so when my bf and were talking I told him all about it. It is a connective tissue disorder called Marfan's syndrome. I cannot make connective tissue properly. This can affect the heart (sorry I neglected to mention this). This is also degenerative.
Obviously I can't have kids and he had to be okay with it.
To me, he is the only person who hasn't treated me at all differently for knowing, he has always been so accepting of me. That was huge to me even when we were friends.
I seem to have a mild case and I do my best to keep myself healthy. People in my family have lived long lives and also have been very sick very young so I don't really know what to expect but I have had an echocardiogram recently and my heart is currently healthy. I was the youngest person in that waiting room by decades. It was surreal.
We both have health issues and do our best and relate a lot to each other. There is a lot of love in being cared for when I have a migraine. I have been so weak I have had him bathe me before and I would have felt ashamed if I could do it myself and if trying wouldn't have made me sicker, and he did it so lovingly. That was the only reason I got to sleep that night. He used to have migraines but rarely gets them now.
My bf went with me to the geneticist and after we ate hot dogs and cried.
Interestingly enough, I am more terrified for my bf at the moment because his family has discovered a genetic condition that affects the kidneys and he wants to give his dad a kidney but it is possible his will become just as sick at any time. Makes me feel sick to imagine him having one kidney and it failing. He still needs to be tested so 😧
Whatever happens we are in it together
You are worthy of love. The mother in ops post was saying that anyone who is unhealthy is not worthy of love because they are a burden and that's just not true. If someone who loves you commits to the relationship knowing what's to come and what already is that is there choice and a healthy person is not any better than someone who is not. All life should be valued, all life should feel love. If someone chooses you don't push them away with well ill become a burden. In this life we don't know when we will become a burden to or loved ones but it will happen if u grow old with the one u love. To put it in perspective say u were perfectly healthy and u got married during that time then all of a sudden u got cancer or some other illness that will affect u and your loved ones life immensely you would not tell them leave me I'm too much a burden or feel guilty for something that happened out of your control. You would expect them to fulfill there duties as your partner who agreed to the vows in sickness and in health as you would for them if the situation was reversed. So why would u feel guilty or like your holding them back when they aren't blindsided by the illness they know what's to come and still want to be there because they love u. Also look at it this way if he was the one sick would u love him any less?
I’ve been married 24 years, chronically ill for 18 of those. Sometimes it’s really hard for both of us, but my husband has never regretted sticking by me. And you know, what? Sometimes I feel better and life is great.
Everyone, and every relationship, has ups and downs. The partner that sticks around for all of it will be stronger and happier for it.
The husband that came looking for his wife melts my heart how sweet of him
With the breast-feeding story: I believe that it's not always a person's actions, but their RE-actions that tell you who they are. The grandmother's focus on the camera, and the anger she directed at the mother showed this may not have been a one time occurrence. I am not a mother, so I can't speak on authority but a pacifier and breast are very different. The skin-to-skin, the smell, heartbeat, and the warmth are all factors for a baby feeding, a pacifier doesn't have those factors so there's less chance of frustration on the baby. The grandmother breast-feeding, in my understanding, can lead to the baby getting confused, or not latching in the future. Using a finger, or something similar I can understand, but this was more than a impulsive decision, it was a total lack of boundaries and common sense. I understand the point about overall character. We don't know much about the grandmother, nor their previous relationships before this case. However, I do know that if I had a nanny and they did this, I would fire them on the spot, so that logic applies to family as well. I would hire outside help until the baby's no longer breast-feeding before trusting the grandmother alone with them again.
The last story, I truly believe the grandmother did it on purpose. Her begging them not to call the cops and then showing zero guilt or remorse for what happened and thinking she had the right to see their other child....nah. good for the parents keeping their child safe from her. I'm happy they were able to stay together and heal together.
I agree here. The child was probably not doing something the grandmother wanted and so she killed her. Then tried to make it look like an accident. Or worse, it was premeditated. And then, trying so hard to get to the next child?! I feel she just wants to hurt that one too. No way!
You hear about this kind of crap with sexuality and physically abusive family members too often, thinking “I’m family! I have rights!” Fuck that! My child has a right to feel safe, and not be abused or murdered. Their rights come before anyone else’s entitlement.
I agree I think she wanted to turn herself into a victim and wanted sympathy from people that her grandbaby died because of her initial statements being all about her (“this is worse for me than it is you” to parents who just lost their fucking baby). Kinda like those sick parents who make their kids sick for sympathy and attention but to a worse degree.
Yes, there has been serial killers like this.
I somehow hit the MIL lottery twice. My first MIL, Kathy- RIP, truly loved me like her daughter. She was one of my best friends and loved me unconditionally. When she realized her son was on drugs and abusive, she tried MANY times to get me to leave him. In the end, I stayed so I could care for her at the end of her life. 4 days after the funeral, he drained our bank account and went on a bender. I packed up everything I could into a duffel bag and left. Never went back.
My current MIL is also amazing! She is one of my best friends. We get along so well!! Helped her leave her abusive husband and get on her feet. She raises our niece and is always only a call away for advise or just to listen. She respects our boundaries, our relationship and the fact that we are adults making choices for our life. I see so many of my friends STRUGGLING with MILs and their relationships, and I am like, yea I don't get it. No frame of reference. All the MILs I have experienced have been AMAZING! I hope to be that kind of MIL when my 18 yo son is in a long term relationship one day! ♥
This gave me goosebumps. I think your first MIL sent your current one your way ❤️
The third story makes me so mad. My husband has stage 4 kidney disease. I knew he had kidney disease when we started dating. We are married with children. I know I won’t get the “growing old together”. I will be a widow most likely in my 40s. I would never imagine leaving my husband. I can’t believe that mom asked that. It makes my blood boil.
I had a sitter once that WAS breastfeeding her baby (6mo. At the time), and my breastfed baby (2mo. At the time) could smell her milk, and would NOT take a bottle. She called and told me, and asked if I was okay with her giving him her boob. I told her "as long as you're cool with it, I'm cool with it! Feed that baby. " ❤
The Alexa story’s so insanely ableist. It’s a valid concern about carer fatigue if she notices a change in her son. What is not okay is thinking they need to be separated so he can be normal? What does that even mean. Anyone can become disabled at any moment. If you think he’s struggling ask how you can help. Don’t assume.
It’s also low-key misogynistic. If the roles were reversed, then nobody would question a wife, choosing to diligently stand by her husband through chronic illness. Getting diagnosed with a chronic illness also comes with a grieving process. Once they adapt, theirs absolutely no reason he can’t experience a fulfilling happy lifetime, along with the woman he loves.
Yesss. And like if you actually care about your kid, show up and support them. Fund a PSW, or come help where u can.
Alejandra's going too soft on the breastfeeding MIL
Agreed!
I commented on that to. Weird
🤷🏽♀️
@@Alejandra-hz6ct i see your point! it's hard to imagine how you would react in a situation like that in the moment but i definitely see your reasoning. if it was the ONLY red flag they've had, i don't see a reason to go NC. doubt the husband would fully agree to that either
@@gothtonyhawk Thanks Haley! That is exactly what I was getting at. Very hard to imagine it because of course I am not a mother/do not breast feed so that could change my opinion! But where I was at in this convo, that is how I saw it!
I live with my sister, her husband, and new baby. And I have personally sat with him screaming in my ear trying to soothe him, during his breastfeeding period, for hours and never once would consider something so inappropriate. Breastfeeding is a bonding experience between mom and baby, just like the mother said, and I can only imagine she’ll be thinking about that when she goes to breastfeed her baby in the future. That’s horrible! I would let her see baby in the future, provided that she apologizes profusely, but she would never be babysitting again.
God these stories make me super grateful for my wonder MIL. My husband’s family immediately welcomed me into their family as one of their own. These people are just so mean and spiteful.
With the grandma breastfeeding.. yeah she's insane. No doubt about it. Especially her being a mother herself, she KNEW what she was doing.
Yes
Yes!!!!!
You guys should do an episode on close encounters and or toxic masculinity I think it would be great! Love your podcast so much!
All of these stories just make me so thankful for my mother in law 😂
I had a problem with my husband siding with his mother. She's a very loud confrontational person and would often get drunk, ambush me, and air her grievances. It was a great source of stress for me. My husband had even witnessed it a couple of times, but would never step in. When I asked why he didn't have my back, he said he didn't want to be in the middle of anything or choose a side because that's his mother. I told him "That answer was you choosing your mother and her feelings over mine." We didn't speak of it for a while and I stopped wanting to go to their house and avoided it at all costs. I finally broke one day after weeks of his mother pressing me about having more kids. I had said I was done repeatedly. He said she didn't have bad intentions. So, I said "You married me. You had a child with me. You live with me. You come home TO ME. You go to sleep next to me. But you can't support or respect me. Maybe Everything I listed should change. And you can go back home to mommy. Cause I want no part of this if it's going to be this way." Haven't had a problem SINCE.
That last story should be made into a movie. It was tragic, thrilling, and romantic. I’m currently exiting this emotional roller coaster not knowing how to feel.
As a MIL myself I would never ask my lovely DIL to let me in her labor room. I would be over the moon if they became pregnant but I would never interject myself in any of her birth plans. My place (unless otherwise instructed) is in the waiting room.
❤❤❤💗💗💗
This one time I was at a restaurant with my boyfriends mom and I was having a hard time choosing what to eat and after a second she looks at me and says “hunny can u read do u need us to read it to u?” I was dead 💀
I really like how you two have varying opinions, take the time to listen and explain those opinions, and really try to see things from different perspectives! I saw y’all on TikTok and you were suggested on here for me and I was like OH HEY I KNOW THEM!! Thanks for the good videos/listening to help me clean my room!
I literally cannot standddddd when my parents or in laws say “my baby”. My parents stopped because I had to tell them how it bugged me, but my husband hasn’t told them how I feel. Drives me nuts 😭
But it's NOT their baby... wtaf?!
I’d just correct them. My in-laws respect me enough to not bite back. We had a rough patch where they walked all over me, but I prevailed and become more abrasive but fun to be around, so, they don’t question me when I say stuff now.
My mom said the same thing. She told me that I’m just the surrogate. I told her that’s what restraining orders are for. She laughed nervously. Try me if you want.
@@belindajones2995 She called YOU the surrogate ? I wouldn’t talk to her for at least a month after that
@@di7209 sorry.m I meant my mil not my mom. But still! I made it very clear that I will not tolerate that type of nonsense from anyone.
I wonder how Alexa’s MIL would feel if her son refuses to take care of her in old age alleging carer’s fatigue
Considering your feelings/fears towards child birth and some of the amazing (not necessarily positive) birth stories you've shared, I think it would be sooo cool to see you and mama Dr Jones do a collab!!!
She frequently does videos reacting to TLCs I didn't know I was pregnant videos and I think she would absolutely loveeee birth related Reddit stories
THIS!
The chronically ill wife one gets me. My mother-outlaw tried to convince my chronically critically ill hubby not to go through with the marriage and he told her we getting married. She then went to my parents and asked them to put a stop to it and they refused. Thankfully, they never even mentioned it to me.
A month after we got married, he passed away and his mom lost it on me and pretty much said I was the reason he died because he stopped letting her control his healthcare decisions. We now have a court-ordered restraining order and split custody of his headstone & plot (left is hers, right is mine).
As far as the first story: I had my moms friend nurse me while she was watching me once and I got thrush all over my mouth. I wouldn’t take a bottle for anything and she was also a mom but it was still way out of line and gross and I literally got sick. So overall GROSS. My mom never let that person watch me again...AS SHE SHOULD
Omg that is so scary. How did you get better?
@@Danny-nj3vy antibiotics and time lol I’m all good now but the dangers of doing that could have been much worse 🤢
🤢🤮🤢🤮
I honestly love how the 2 of you can disagree and explain your perspectives without getting aggressive. Mad respect towards you 2 lovelies xx
When I had my daughter I had 4 people in the delivery room (my mom, my husband, MIL, and SIL) although I love them all and we have a great relationship it was very chaotic and hectic. So 10 years later when I had my son my husband and I chose to not have anyone in the room, it was the most amazing delivery experience ever because he and I were able to focus on each other, it was intimate, and we connected on a deeper level. We got to spend the 1st 2 hours just the 2 of us taking in all the wonders of a new baby, plus I was able to get cleaned up and “slightly” recover in peace and then when we were ready we had everyone come to the hospital. As a woman who is the one going through the labor and bringing life into this world it is her decision who she wants around her during this stressful time and I definitely wouldn’t want that toxic woman anywhere near me!
Child birth is NOT a spectator event! This dude needs to keep mommy dearest out of the delivery room.
The whole MIL breastfeeding thing... The MIL is INSANE. There is nooooo explanation for that. The fact that MIL responded the way she did outright proves she knew she was wrong. Alejandra.. I wish you had a child to fully understand how not okay this is in no way shape or form.
Seriously though. A lot of opinion for someone who hasn't even had a child herself
@@jaybaebaesway3572 Hi hi- I said about 3 times in this episode alone that I am not a mother so I cannot really speak from that perspective, only from my own experience and opinions. This podcast is opinion-based, not in any way directional or to objective, and these are blind reactions meaning we are not previewed on the stories before they are read and we are recording. So with that said, I am not sure how I can opine on majority of these wild stories just because it doesn’t apply to me personally. Yes, it is absolutely a lot of opinion from me as a co-host on this because that is what we are here to do: give a hot take.
@@Alejandra-hz6ct and that was my opinion/take on it. Didn't mean to totally offend you lmao
@@jaybaebaesway3572 No worries- you didn't offend me, you are a stranger to me as I am to you. But I also took notice that you are commenting on here multiple times that I am your least favorite guest in relation to discussing a hot topic and opinion- so I just wanted to take an opportunity to explain the nature of this podcast and hopefully you'll still come back to enjoy it anyway 🙏🏼
Hi MiVida, you are right in that I don't have a baby so I cannot fully understand it- this was just my opinion. And you make a good point, so thanks for giving us your take! I wish I could say let's circle back and see if my opinion changes after a kid, but I have nooo idea when that will be 😂😩
i find it SO hard to believe that people like this actually exist. and i thought my grandparents were crazy..these people are on a whole other level.
The one thing that helps me continue to love my partner for them and not getting to anxious about the family in law is this
"You do NOT marry into another family. You marry to create your own and the others are just added on weather it's a plus or not"
I must say I loved how level headed and impartial Alejandra was in this episode. More so, giving the topic was sensitive. 💖
I have to agree 100% on the MIL calling her grandchild “my baby” is cringe. I’ve told my husband multiple times to tell her to stop and correct herself to “my grand baby”, but he thinks it’s normal, and honestly, I’ve just cut off his family because of it. They can’t understand that it’s 1) extremely creepy to claim a baby as if they birthed them & 2) it’s just not ok to make someone feel uncomfortable like that
I WISH I would have known about this to send in my segment on my MIL 🤣 you guys would be MINDBLOWN. Currently battling because she’s a manipulative narcissist and her and her daughter say the most horrible things about me, because I won’t let them do what they want with my child when they want, and take her whenever they please. Sorry not subjecting her to the toxicity my husband grew up with 🤷🏼♀️
Stay strong!! Can’t be easy on you but your kiddo will be so much happier and healthier for not being around that.
as a mom if i ever heard or saw someone else breastfeeding my baby i would literally get physically sorry not sorry 😂