We tried out Catholic church after being in a protestant (non-denominational) church for 12 years. In that church, they had a separate kid's program area where all the kids were separated by age group. Nobody ever brought their kids into the auditorium with them. When we first checked out Mass (and were discerning converting to Catholicism), our two kids were
Separating families is part of why we are where we are! I refuse to attend a church where families are encouraged or required to be separated. (Yes, this includes some Orthodox.)
Yes, and for the teens that show up in pj's. And for the people who sneek out after receiving and for the people with the screaming children when you can't hear the homily or pray for our deceased or dying loved ones. We are all teaching such great respect at church 🙏
Some priests are different, and lots of people in the congregation would give us dirty looks. We can't stay past the homily. As a result, I would go to church alone when the little one naps.
My priest encouraged me after a mass when my 1 year old was very disruptive and crying. He said if the church isn’t crying, the church is dying. I loved that sentiment and it really reminded me of what’s important. Our children are the future of the church. They should be in Mass!
As a young Army wife and mother, I was a single mom most of the time -Hubby gone. I discovered that if we sat in the front pew, the little ones could see everything happening at the alter. This kept even the babies focused. My husband thought this was weird, but discovered for our family it worked. As they grew my kids became engaged in mass learning the parts and prayers. We are huge proponents of little ones in church.
I am a catholic convert who has experienced infertility for years, let me tell you as someone on the outside, seeing your children in mass is so refreshing. It stirs up a grief and joy that pulls me into the heart of Christ. It is a gift to have children, it is such a gift to have children laughing, crying and squealing in mass. I totally get the part about minding others. If your baby is loudly crying without consolation, you could consider going to the back to sooth them, but truly, truly, it is more important to give your child love and patience than to make sure everyone else isn't distracted or annoyed. Your family comes first. If your child needs to step out with you for a moment, that's okay, but never feel you need to snap at your child or punish them as they are learning. Ultimately your heart with having your children at mass is that they would grow to know the Lord and love his church and your responsibility, with the help of God, is to show them that they are loved where they are always.
I have to credit my parents for teaching my 2 brothers and myself that church was not a place for play. We always discussed the night before which mass we would attend, and chose our clothing. No breakfast beforehand as we received communion. We were allowed to take one book to look at. We were reminded before walking in the door that God deserved our attention and we were to behave respectfully in his home. We loved our parents and followed their instructions. I think my parents just expected good behavior and they got it.
Yes. "Children are a map of their parents," regardless of age. I've seen toddlers better behaved than some adults or even older folks in the pews. Teach them early.
I grew up seeing mothers with their children, from infants on up. If the babies or toddlers fussed the mothers would take them out for a bit and then come back. It’s perfectly normal and part of mass.
As I’ve heard, if the church isn’t crying, it’s dying. ☺️ Please young mothers continue to bring your little ones to Mass.💕 And we pray one day when we cannot get there on our own, our children will bring US to Mass, in our wheelchairs and walkers! ❤️😉
I am always anxious at mass bringing my toddler to mass. Some days are better than others. I remember the priest making a point of saying we are all baptized Christians part of the body of Christ and crying children are a part of that body. Even the oldies are sweet and understanding. The ones who had 5 or more kids would tell me that in their day there was no “cry room” and that the entire church was a cry room. I’ve rarely had people give “the look” and for the most part the parrish has been very understanding telling me that “you made it to mass and that’s what’s important”.
I agree about the children being at mass. I had 4 that I brought to mass every week. However, For the sake of and benefit of the congregation and for reverence for Our Lord, I always took them out if they became very loud or disruptive, especially for the Gospel/ Homily and during the Consecration. Some noise is inevitable but when they are screaming ( and at our church it’s usually more than one 😅) it is a distraction for those who are trying to concentrate on their prayer to God. Some noise is inevitable (babbling, momentary loud sounds) but full out yelling/ screaming is not helpful for an attitude of prayer. Children are beautiful but we should respect others with certain limits of behavior. We should work towards the good of all ages in the Church. 😊🙏🏻
I agree with you whole heartedly! I am a parish secretary, mom & grandma. The KIDS NEED TO BE IN CHURCH...how else will they ever learn to be in church if you don't bring them??? My youngest was hard to handle, too...my husband would walk out with her to the outer lobby so as not to disturb others, & then go to the cry room. I remember one time, while in the cry room, telling her that Jesus was in the "gold box" (the Tabernacle) and she looked at me & with a puzzled expression, said to me: "Well, can't he come out & play with me?" She is now grown up & an RN, but it still makes me giggle.
You practice sitting still and being quiet outside of church. Set chairs up like pews and read a story. Make the kids sit quietly and listen. Reward them when they do.
You’re such an inspiration Heather! Please pray for me- my name is Corinna. I’m fairly new to the faith, (baptized last Easter), my husband is not Catholic and we have 2 boys (7 & 4) who were baptized last October. I get discouraged because I sometimes feel like i have a huge weight on my shoulders trying to teach the faith to our boys. Your videos are SO helpful! You’re definitely a role model of mine! Thank you for another great one. God bless!
Welcome Corinna! I'll pray for you. My husband wasn't practicing our faith when my sons were small. Take them to church and do the best you can and the Lord will work it our. I'll put you on my prayer list.❤
Welcome Corinna! One Priest told me " Talk to our mother , she listens and understands she's " since then I pour out myself to the blessed Virgin Mary, I feel listened, no judgments just a gentle love.So in anything just kneel and ask her to intercede for you , you don't have to have any particular words just say what you feel and ask her for guidance,. Say Hail Mary and trust me she listens even in that verge of helpless and don't know what to do or say. May our blessed mother guide you and intercede for you as you take the step to teach and bring your family to Christ 🙏🏽
Taking my kids to daily mass(not every day but mass during the week) helped them get used to mass. Less people so it was shorter and way quieter so they were less likely to act out. We would still go to Sunday of course but going to daily mass once a week or something helped.
My parents believe strongly, and raised me with the belief that overuse of a nursery delays a child’s maturation and development. School is not the only place where children learn to be quiet and pay attention. No one learns overnight. Honestly, I feel like the reactions of disgruntled adults were a form of feedback that helped me learn how to behave.
I totally agree with you. I was asked twice to get out of the church even though I was at the back, in the baby room exhausted with a baby, a seventeen month old and a 3 year old, trying my best to calm the baby. I felt horrible, thank God I love Jesus, i just found a church with welcoming people. And I love helping other mothers with babies.
I do love children at church as I myself have 4. But I do believe that parents should remove their children if they are unable to sit quietly and not be a distraction for others. You do not know what someone is going thru while they are there at mass. Some are learning the faith, some are quietly crying out to Jesus for help, for others this might be their only place of solace in their life. We do not know what are fellow Christians are going thru at that time. Someone commented we all have been there and yes we have but I always removed my children if they could not sit still as the Mass is not just for me and my family. Hope this makes sense. Blessings to you and your family :)
You also don't know what the mother is going through. Once I had to take my children to church alone for a devastating reason I don't want to discuss. Yes they were a little noisy so I had them in the cry room. I still had someone try to remind me the cry room doesn't contain all the noise. It was a very rude reminder of an already horrible situation of why I had to bring them alone. I almost cried right there but I waited till I got to the car. It definitely made me wonder if I should have just stayed home.
As someone with hearing disability, consider what is more valuable, allowing children to be noisy or allowing attendees to hear the mass. If the liturgy matters, then being able to hear what is being said by the Priest is important. I am all for kids at Mass, once however common sense would dicate that noise has become an issue, they should be moved to an area that does not encroach on others' ability to participate in the liturgy.
My wife and I are converts to the Catholic Church. I converted last Easter, my wife will be a received into the church this Easter (she was breast feeding so couldn’t get to rcia last year). I have to say, we’ve had such a positive experience in our parish. They’re so welcoming and lovely. We’ve had one, “shush” so I prayed a Hail Mary for the lady in question, we’ve all had bad days and I just smiled and shrugged it off. The other thing to say, is that I’m so grateful for the Catholic church, we are expecting another little one at the end of April and that’s all due to Catholic teaching and God. It can be stressful with kids but i saw a video by about it being our vocation and so now i just look at it like I’m just praising the Lord by doing my best with them in mass. Thanks for you video, it was lovely to see!
I don't really mind children at mass but sometimes it's overstimulating with cry screaming. I think they should be taken outside so they don't disrupt and then bring them back in. I know it happens but if it's for a long time take them out, comfort them, and then bring them back in. My opinion.
When my son was about 2, he escaped from my arms and ran onto the alter and shouted 😮 I was MORTIFIED “you can’t get me!” Our church is predominantly older but LOVE seeing kids. Luckily our priest was amazing and told me my son wanted to be closer to Jesus and maybe be a priest one day and even told the next Mass that Sunday what happened and told the congregation seeing kids in Mass is GOOD.
Once in the Philippines I heard a Priest speak to the congregation on this issue. He told people, if the children are noisey/disruptive that the parents should take them outside. The parent should have no qualms about it and they do not fail to fulfill their Sunday obligation. I agree. Thinking that the people who are showing some frustation are the problem is really backwards. A little bit of noise is fine but it doesn't take long to become disruptive and being disruptive is being disruptive. No need to uneccessarily overwhelm yourself because you can't find a solution. Just take the child outside, it's so simple. What's the problem? 🤷♂️
I totally get the frustration people feel when little children are being really loud and rambunctious. My 13 year old made a comment about not being able to hear any of the homily because someone's baby was crying the whole time. I just told him that even though babies don't always cooperate, we should be happy that they are present and being brought up to know God. And I reminded him that there was a time he couldn't sit still or be quiet and let him know how stressful that is for the parents. They really don't need the added pressure of people giving them a hard time.
I have two of my five children have autism and church is very hard. They can be loud and we work to teach them to be quiet but we walk a fine line about when to take them to the crying room or to the back of church. I find it stressful at times. Most people are understanding but there are still those that give looks. We just persevere,it helps that our priests are supportive.
Yes, I am sometimes distracted by small children during Mass, but only momentarily because then I realize what gift it is to have families with young children in our church!
I remember when my kids were small someone complained to a sister about the little noise they made. Sister said shame on you for not paying attention to the priest instead. They were shocked. God bless her soul. The sound of life.
To be fair, it CAN be distracting so concentration can be difficult. But too bad! Children sometimes make noise. It's up to the individual to ignore it...some have an easier time with this than others.
Thank you for this video! I’m a lifelong Protestant who’s exploring the Catholic Church and I’ve been bringing my 9 month old alone to Mass. As tempting as it is to go back to my old nondenominational church to get an hour of peace where they have a nursery, I know that pursuing the truth is much more important. Please pray for me, I’m thinking of starting RCIA this fall 😊
Our priest encourages families to come to church. We even have one Sunday a month where the children not only do the readings and sing in the choir, but he also brings all the children in the audience to the front and gives them a short talk or teaches them a new prayer. I have no children myself, but I am glad to hear their little voices.
I love hearing the kids at mass. When our kids were younger, we were so worried they were misbehaving or loud. It was wasted time to worry about that stuff. The family belongs in the Mass regardless of age.
I agree with your approach. Soft faith-based toys are a great idea for toddlers. It's best not to have toys that will make noise or "travel" if dropped. Absolutely no hard toys that can scratch the pews. If kids may act up it is best not to sit in the first few pews which may be distracting during the readings and for the homilist.
We always practiced good behaviour expectations at home while we said family rosary. Children under two could move around a little bit but had to learn not to make noise. Some were easier to teach than others but we started with clear expectations because children are way smarter than many adults give them credit for. We reminded the children before Mass that we were entering God's house and that each Mass is the exact same sacrifice, except in an unbloodied manner, as actual good Friday and we should do our utmost to keep that foremost in our minds. We also separated our children into whichever seating order worked best and we put several children in the pew in front of us as well which made it very easy to tap on their shoulder if they were not paying attention. Children belong at Mass and they are mostly capable of good behaviour if it is expected, but every effort also must be made to be respectful of others who are there to pray the Holy Mass.
So true. We will get the stare but in a positive way with all smiles because the church doesnt see much young people or children so its a blessing and you can really see they adore the little ones right through their eyes the feed back is great and welcoming 🎉
This video brings me back to raising my kids. My husband at the time was not going to church with us, but the people who sat around us were so welcoming and encouraging every.single.Sunday. thank God for those people. My younger son is pretty active the head usher would come over and have Ryan help him during the Mass. So grateful that those people God put in our path at that time were following Jesus so closely that they could help.
Thank you for the beautiful video. This made me reflect on how thankful I am for our parish. We are Maronite and our community is relatively small. Our priest makes sure the first few rows are reserved for our community’s children in our religious education program (we start at age 3) and has made it known he is thankful for the kids being there and they are important. It’s also very common for most anyone in our parish helping “mind” children 😂 during Divine Liturgy as we all know almost everyone. Love and blessings to all my fellow parents. Praying for you and glad you are making the tremendous effort to bring your kiddos to church ♥️
Our priest closed our cry room. He wants the kids in the church! I get why he did it, it was like a party in there- kids that were too old to be in there, people who had no kids in there, etc. but, it would be nice if it was open for nursing mothers if needed
I agree about needing a room for nursing mothers. Our pastor does not want a cry room because he wants the children in the church, but nursing mothers have nowhere to go but the small, cold and usually smelly restroom. I am an older woman without children and this bothers me 🙂
Crying and being restless happens and no parent should feel embarrassed about that. As someone who was raised very strict (not to utter a sound and sit still on my seat in church), I do have a hard time, however, seeing how some parents allow their kids to run around in church or jump up and down the benches, not to mention kicking the pew in front of them or the person next to them. We spent the first 2 years of each of our kids' life in the last pew of the church. After that, we were close to the front which allowed us to teach them as they had already learned to behave for the most part.
77 year old Mom, but no grandchildren. It is such a beautiful moment of grace to see and hear young children in Mass. We try to always tell young parents what a blessing their beautiful families are. Bless them for their presence, and their exhausting dedication to bringing their little ones up in the Faith. I'm sure you will be richly rewarded. 🙏🤗❤
We're from Goa, India. We made it a habit to take our kids to church right after their baptism. We would sit closer to a side door & step out whenever the kids would be restless to the point of being noisy. When the offertory collection was to take place, we would give the kids some money to place in the collection bag/ tray & that was something they looked forward to. A sippy cup with water & a hand fan was all that we carried for them. For longer masses such as feast days, we generally sat in places such as the side wings of the church or an easy exit area in case the mass was out in an open area
Awesome ooooo👏👏👏👏👏👏 Sometimes I feel demoralized going to church because my one year old daughter always runs outside or to the altar while mass is on. My husband has moved out from Catholic Church to Pentecostal so I’m doing it alone sometimes I don’t even hear the sermons and what was said. But I thank God for strength I’ll keep doing my best and we will forever remain Catholics with or without the father.
I always take my girls with me since they’re baby and they know how to behave and use their inner voice if they want to say something. Then we help to arrange misal books after and they think they’re important volunteers in the church. My 6 yrs old know how to response and help other kids to quite. She have coloring pages and colors for other kids. After 7yrs old no more toys or coloring stuff, or snacks. Our priest is awesome and community ❤️We seat front as well, also my girls look forward for some reward , same like u they have to tell me wht they learn from gospel &reading as well. Yes please b kind to other mom out there, specially the one have special kids.
I came back to the Catholic Church after 40 years and sadly my kids never attended a Catholic church when young, but I understand and feel sorry for the parents and their frustration. It doesn't bother me at all what the kids do. It used to distract me and throw me off a bit, but I learned to tune out as if I was their mother. 😝What bothers me is actually the adults that cannot stop talking before mass starts while I'm praying and sometimes even during mass.
Yes! Another thing that really bothers me is the fact that so many are huge advocates for using Bible apps. If you simply must "follow along," bring or use a provided physical copy. Screens do not belong in church. I get a lot of flack for this but I stand by it.
Yes, the visiting adults, in the presence of the Eucharist in the Tabernacle, is so much more disruptive, especially since adults know better!! Visiting should wait until outside after Mass. Inside, the church should be sacred and reverent to respect those trying to pray and prepare for Mass, but most importantly to respect the presence of Christ before us in the tabernacle.
We had a marvelous priest when our children were small. He said that the earlier you expose your children to Mass, the easier it is to keep them anchored in the faith.
I 100% agree with everything you’re saying! We sit at the back, so it’s easy to step out quietly if need to and I feel we are less disruptive-but I try to teach my sons that we need to respect other people praying. We go to a small Ukrainian Catholic parish and everyone is always so gracious and kind; saying my kids were so good (Even if they were not haha), saying hello to them, smiling at them when they are doing weird kid things when we head up for communion-I am so grateful to all our kind parishioners. It can be hard some days, but I try my best to have realistic expectations.
Just wanted to share a perspective from someone without kids. We need kids, young people, and families in church. So, if you're ever wondering whether to bring the kids, the answer is - yes, bring them! Please don’t be worried about people staring. Some are just curious or offering encouragement. And for those who seem less friendly, let's send prayers to soften their hearts. I've been guilty of peeking around, and I felt awful afterwards! If we're distracted from worship, we need to refocus and not blame kids around us! We should all be respectful in church, of course, but in my experience, adults are often just as distracting! While parents are probably overly critical of their nippers, if the kids are going off, just use the cry room or go out; people will respect you for it.
I agree children need to go to Mass to learn they need to be quiet, especially during the elevation of the Body and Blood of Christ. If a child is acting up, the parent should remove them from Mass, but the child should know they will be reprimanded for their actions. We raised 4 boys ages 1-5 and they knew mom and dad would not allow them to be noisy. We would have Pizza for supper if all were good. They did not want to miss pizza. I have seen parents allow their kids to bring noisy toys and cereal that falls all over the floor. Kids have run out into the aisle, kick and scream because they want to go home now. I believe they only come to Mass for Christmas and Easter, which is an obvious problem.
My son is 2 and half years old and I’ve been taking him to church since he was a couple of months old. We always stay all the way in the back because he gets loud. During the feast of the presentation of Jesus Christ a couple of weeks ago, the church was packed and as usual we stayed in the back, my son was louder than usual and at one point started crying.. we stepped out, but I guess he was still so loud that the priest stopped in the middle of his sermon and walked all the way back to where we were and slammed the door shut to were we were and didn’t tell us nothing and went back shaking his head. I felt ashamed , defeated and have not taking my son back to church. So thank you for this!
Although everyone should agree that the priest should have been a bit more restrained but we are splitting hairs here. As a father of two girls they were often loud but if and when it ever got to a point of disrupting the entire mass and was obviously too loud then they were taken out. Nearly every post on this topic will agree that ALL CHILDREN and families should attend mass together but let's be honest there needs to be parenting and discipline as needed until they grow to an age where the disruption is diminished. Give them a bible book, a color book or whatever a parent needs to parent...
I think parents need to be prepared ahead of Mass, so that a small disruption doesn't escalate. A family who often sits ahead of us has a couple of little guys who have 38 minutes in them. That means the crying, fighting, etc. happens right at the Consecration. If the parents took the kiddos out at 35 minutes, or introduced a distraction at that time, others could concentrate on that most Holy moment rather than recoiling at an ear piercing shriek. By observing what sets little ones off, parents can come prepared to avoid those situations.
So excited every time I see you posted a new video. I really stopped being a practicing Catholic for years because I didn’t feel very welcomed when my kids were little. We just had a baby and I don’t care what others think, I will keep my baby at mass and will not deny him growing up with mass as I did my others. However if my baby is losing it I will temporarily walk out.
In our church, the priests had a cry room built with a screen so that parents could watch mass live. There are so many young children (think 15 babies per mass, plus all the older brothers and sisters) it was becoming unbearable, so the cry room is a good thing.
Our church doesn't have a cry room. When we did a massive remodel, I asked if we were getting a cry room. An older parishioner looked at me in horror, saying something like, "Our children are part of our church!" I'm childless but I want to say that I used to get annoyed by crying babies until I realized that is *my* sin, not theirs. They have the right to be there. It's *my* problem if I'm distracted, not theirs.
I fully agree with everything you've said, Heather! When I was taking my children to church, I considered myself very fortunate that congregation members were so kind and understanding when my youngest was disruptive. During those years, I always knelt towards the back of the church and took him out frequently, especially when the priest was giving a sermon. At the time, one elderly lady told me that she always said a Hail Mary for me when my little one was noisy - this is something that I myself do for other parents when I hear their children shouting etc. As you said, Heather, it's really important that parents take their children to Mass so that they get into a good habit. I know that other congregation members wish to worship in peace but perhaps they could try to look upon children's disruptions as a means of practising the virtue of patience - think of the many graces they would get. As a final point, Heather, when I was growing up, we had 5 Masses every Sunday in our church and many other churches had an equal number. In this way, those without children could always choose to attend the earlier Masses which did not attract so many families. Unfortunately, this is not the case today. God bless you and your family, Heather.
My son has autism and it’s so difficult being in mass with him. He won’t sit still and since he’s almost 3 we get a lot of rude looks from people even in the crying room. There have been times when I almost want to stop going to mass and just watching virtually, but I don’t want to give up. 😢
Don’t stop that’s the enemy. God is Light. Offer any suffering if any, to Christ In order to glorify him. I have struggle at times with my 10 year old…God is Love. 🙏🏽
2 of my sons have ASD. They both are in their 20's now and love God and the Mass so much!! So all that time with them in Mass was worth the embarrassment and work!! Hang in there!!
I have an additional perspective. Remember: this is not INSTEAD of the views expressed in the videos and comments...it is IN ADDITION to those perspectives. Here goes...I am a person who is easily distracted. I don't choose to be that way. I don't WANT to be that way. I have battled with that my whole life. I am not alone, either. I am sharing this so that maybe other people might understand why some of us struggle with distractions. Note that I am NOT saying that anyone needs to do anything different except to try to understand that we're not jerks. Just distractable human beings. Not different at all from the YOUNG distractables. We're a community of human beings. ❤
In most parishes, there is an early Mass and then a family Mass so it's easy for me to go to the earlier one BUT occasionally I go to the family one, with my grandchildren and love the energy that little kids (even disruptive ones!) bring.
Thank you for this video it is so important for kids to be at mass! I don’t have the blessing of my own children but I am a teacher in a catholic school and I am delighted when I see my students at mass and their younger siblings, I think it is so beautiful and I am so thankful to God that their parents have made the sacrifice to somehow get them up and ready and bring them to mass early on a Sunday morning! Thank you parents, for ensuring your children have the opportunity to encounter Jesus at such a young age, I am so grateful for you, you’re doing an amazing job! On the rare occasion that there is an especially loud child that I find disruptive, I have taken to thanking God for that family because it’s a good reminder to me that I need to repent of my own judgment and I recognize it was probably a real struggle to get to mass if you have a child who is experiencing a difficult morning.
On one occasion a mother was calling out her approximately 4-year-old child for not paying attention and they were all the way back where he couldn't be seen or heard well, while others were in the middle of the church with the children screaming at the top of their lungs. I am one of the people who consider it important to take children because they must learn, with us as an example. Children should see how their parents pray, worship, share and serve in the community but it is also important to put ourselves in their place and understand that at that age children have strong demands for attention that if we treat from imposition can also generate the opposite effect, in our children, that is, the refusal to go to church. I think it is important to look for options that allow both them and us to be comfortable and avoid making others uncomfortable. And if possible. My 5-year-old daughter doesn't really like going to mass but she goes because it is a time for both of us to connect. From that connection I try to show her that we can live the mass and that it is important to go. Blessings
I'm a consacrated lay person so I don't have kids, but I go to a church that is full of families. I try my best to always smile and be encouraging to families because the children are our future. I think it's so rude to stare disapprovingly at parents who are doing their very best. It's already embarassing enough for them as it is. I also think of it as a great opportunity to develop patience and charity.
Love children in church and I’m so glad us catholic we are able to have our kids with us they have the right to see the miracles that happen in every mass. Thank you 🙏🏼 prayers for all the families
Children are wonderful. My granddaughter is 2yrs old, we have to remove her when crying starts, but at two she has learned the rhythm of the church, when she sees the basket after the gospel, she yells out time to give money. Of course those around us are giggling. At the end of mass the priest says good morning to her and gives her a blessing. You have covered all we do for the children. Thank you.
I have four kids and I try my best to control the tantrums and out burst but they aren’t too bad it’s more of my 2 year old who will yell out mama I love you or he will drop something and cry a bit but I always apologize and I carry on I’ve had some stares and shakes of the head but I’ve had a lot of compassion compliments and understanding most will understand and say I’ve been there or don’t be sorry you have a beautiful family I also have a crying room but can’t hear anything my 10 year old likes to sit at the very front so that’s where we sit it helps them see who is talking hear well it’s been great
I 100% agree with you! Especially kids with issues like autism or adhd. Unless people deal with children like this, they have no idea what it's like. Kids are going to act like kids. This past Christmas our priest even said for us parents not to feel embarrassed or feel that we have to leave because our kids are crying or being loud.
Guess what? Those kids with ADHD or Autism GROW UP AND STILL HAVE SENSORY ISSUES, LIKE ME. And then your demon spawn completely disrupt the Mass for people like myself who can't tolerate the complete chaos, or who can't hear the priest over the screaming. I left church with a migraine today and had been shaking in anger, practically in tears, throughout the entire Mass - and I certainly didn't go to Communion - because of despicable, garbage parents who don't discipline or remove their rotten kids. I assure, neither I nor anyone in my generation, Z, behaved like this. This is strictly a crappy Millennial parenting problem.
Love the video!! Sometimes it can almost feel like a battle at mass with small children but I encourage everyone with small ones to keep taking their kids to mass. They grow up so fast and with encouragement they learn how to behave. We currently have a 2 yr old and he is so messy at mass but he is slowly getting better and we as parents are learning what helps him stay more focused. Not every child is the same so sometimes you have to try different things. I would just say to be mindful of the toys or snacks you use to keep them quiet.
I love seeing large families at Mass. However, if you know that you have a noisy child, pls don't sit in front. Those of us who sit up front (TLM) are trying to hear,focus and pray on the liturgy. It's even disruptive sometimes for the priest who is celebrating the Mass.
My husband always say, "If the church isn't crying its dying". We have 3 children and they where loud sometimes and we got the look but we looked right back. My husband also say a child's voice should remind us of God's creation and their distress should wake up compassion in us and offer as much help as we can.
I don’t even have children yet but you can bet I created a playlist for “When I’m a mom” and added this video to it! 😂 seriously though, I just love love love your videos. I’ve been a subscriber for a while now and I’ve learned so much about what living the faith actually looks like through your channel. It’s so beautiful and you encourage me 🌷 God bless you and your family 😊
My best advice for families with small kids is to sit where the kids can see! They don’t want to just see the back of the people in front and feel trap.. they will ask question about what they are seeing.. that’s what worked for us.
My little children know that we will sit for a while, and then I will take them out to walk around or on the stairs for a little while, and then go back in. If we need to go in and out a few times, that's what we do. I try to give them a break well before they get crazy antsy or escalate. As with teaching our children anything, I try to give them an appropriate challenge, but not stress them out. That has really worked for us
I don't personally mind a young child being heard at mass. They are the future after all but, now, there's this one woman who let's her older child shout out throughout. Often, she'll be having a conversation with them, at a raised volume....I pick up distinct rebelliousness from the mother, as though she's attending just to make a point.
I love this. I think it’s spot on and you gave great advice. I think it’s a little give and take from parents of littles and parishioners who don’t have small children. I see some parents who are kind of letting kids run the show and distract from the Mass the entire time and we have some Parents who hop up at the first peep their child makes. This is a little embarrassing but I’ve brought ear plugs and if we have a child who is making a ton of noise to one side of me consistently. I’ll try to discreetly pop an earplug in that one ear to help me focus on the Mass, it really works. Also, I have to say I agree with another commenter saying that sometimes the looks from other Parishioners is the correction that child might need to feel contrite and behave better. I think if it’s done in a loving manner it can be helpful, especially if the behavior is really not age appropriate.
I LOVE your channel and am so thankful for it! We have an 8, almost 7 yr old and a 4 month old. We've definitely gone through various Seating arrangements over the past few years. So relatable! God bless you!! You have helper this mom become a better Catholic!!
I know churches that offer on Sundays Children mass, where even the children are the choir, maybe you should attend a children mass while your children are very young, if you don't have a chlldren mass speak to your preist. If you are going to attend a regular mass, make sure your children eat, go to the restroom before mass, and maybe try to have your children play and run in your backyard or at a park before going to mass, and check for fever PRIOR so that will help with some thing also take coloring books with biblical message and some quite toys to keep them busy.
I think people also need to realize that for parents with 0-5 year olds, they are new parents too! They have only been parents for a few years so extend grace, regardless of what the kids are doing! I feel like I was judged for both: my 2 year old (at the time) daughter being loud and/or me being too strict. Like I was a new mother too! Now I have 3 going on 4 kids so I am a lot more experienced but extend grace! Most new parents never handled young children before having their own. We live in a culture of death where kids are not everywhere anymore. Anyway, I agree with everything you said!
Reading some of these comments of people without children feeling annoyed, maybe asking the Blessed Mother for patience will help. Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” Reflect on the words of our Lord before giving dirty looks, you are the one who is sinning, not the stressed parents bringing their young child into church.
Although I am not a Catholic my dad was and took me to Mass when I was about three/four years old , I used to play at the back of the church and my dad would always take children's bible books with us , I remember those Mass trips with love and have visited the church many times since. I am part of the Kids team at my church and kids have their own ministrey, our church kids partake in the full services at Christmas and Easter, if Kids want to sit in the adult services with their parents they can do and sometimes kids will attend the evening services with their parents
I like both approaches as long as children feel a part of the Church and are shown love and understanding this will mean kids will love Jesus as adults
I’m the mother of 8 and they are all older now but back in the day my kids were cryroom material as our priest labeled them!😂 They all grew up in the church just fine!! I always try to compliment parents that bring their kids to church because I love it when children are there!!
I totally agree with you. I live in Hungary where we have children's mass at many churches (a normal liturgy with a homily for children, where kids can be louder), but at most masses there are very few children, mostly only elderly people. For me, it is sad to see this.
Thank you for this Heather! 🤍Personally, my inner struggle as a mom of a 3 yr old who has been crying/ having meltdowns often during mass, is knowing that kids are much better inside than in cry rooms because Jesus is REALLY there!! And who else can do something for our crying kids than God?!? Who can give them the peace they need other than our Lord? I have learned that we receive SO many graces by just being there in the real presence of Jesus. And our kids need that today more than ever! I also heard from a wonderful priest that kids’ cries are often prayers to God. Maybe mom and dad are fighting a lot, divorcing, etc., and the only way they can pray about that is through their cry🥺 But of course my other inner struggle is not disrupting those around that want that 1:1 with our Lord. Not disrupting our priest. It’s SO hard! All I can say is please be patient & kind, and pray for all parents who are in those situations. Pray for these little ones that are the future of our Church 🙏🏼
I have one 18 month baby and my husband and I are always in the cry 😭 room. She is a kid doing all the kid stuff. I am not ashamed to be in the cry room. It’s always packed with other kids 👦.
I get some people are trying to teach their children how to behave in church. I have children too. But there is a point where it is distracting and disrespectful. People are praying for the dying and sick. Maybe even they've been diagnosed with a terminal illness and are praying but have a child behind having a fit. Know when to get your kid out of there. They are still small. I know to young moms it might sometimes feel like it has to happen all at once but it takes time and some people in there are really grieving. Have some respect for others.
God forgive me if I am wrong but I think Mass is a celebration. Yes, time to be reverent. But the church is a body with many parts. Jesus said let the children come to me.
@@samantharizkallah5985 there is a time and place. If your child is screaming, crying, and or talking during Mass parents need to be respectful and take the kid out. Imagine someone just lost a loved one in some horrific way and is praying and some parent is just letting their child scream and cry over them. That's just ignorant.
Our priest encourages us to bring our kiddos to mass. I'll never forget one little girl was singing so loud during service he smiled and asked if she wanted to join the choir. lol But in all seriousness, how do they know how to act if they don't practice? We only have two and we've had our share of chaotic times, but thats how they learn.
You know l was really wondering about this subject. Honestly it's quite difficult to know what to do... Thanks for interesting and thoughtful discussion.
God bless you, sweetheart Heather, for you started your video by Jesus’s verse. Let the children come to Me. Beautiful Thanks for sharing and I do agree. 🥰🙏👍⭐️❤️🌟👏✝️❣️🌹
While I love seeing young children in Mass and I think it's very important for them to be present and learn our beautiful Catholic traditions and scripture, I also greatly appreciate when a parent has the courtesy to take a crying child out for a little break. It can be really disheartening to miss out on the homily and the consecration of the Eucharist because of not being able to hear. When our kids were really young, we took a "quiet book" and Cheerios in a non-crinkly bag and also had the kids help clean up before we left. God Bless!
I attend a TLM and usually one of the parents brings the child to the back or vestibule if they get really bad but it’s like, almost everyone is a parent so they’re all like cool With it cuz they understand 😂❤️ I’m always so glad to see families bring their kiddos! I think that it does help teach the kid to have respect in church, as you said. But I don’t think we should have “cry rooms.” The vestibule is always fine :)
You have a great plan. I wish other parents would follow your example. In our church, they even run up and down on a scooter. So I now go to the first mass or last one which is 8:30pm or 8:30am. Soon I will just watch at home. My kids, grandkids, and great grandkids were not perfect.
I think children should be in mass, but I'm very easily distracted and somehow always end up with an active toddler right next to me which makes it difficult lol. But I am pregnant with my first baby and in a few short months I won't have the option of not being distracted for a long time.
We tried out Catholic church after being in a protestant (non-denominational) church for 12 years. In that church, they had a separate kid's program area where all the kids were separated by age group. Nobody ever brought their kids into the auditorium with them.
When we first checked out Mass (and were discerning converting to Catholicism), our two kids were
Congratulations! That’s so awesome. They will have the same “birthday” into the body of Christ. ❤
Congratulations! Jesus welcomed the little children and so do we. They are the future of our Church. God bless.
How wonderful! Welcome home!
Separating families is part of why we are where we are! I refuse to attend a church where families are encouraged or required to be separated. (Yes, this includes some Orthodox.)
My priest said it perfectly: “thank GOD there are noisy children here, that means someone will be here when I’m gone”
Yes, and for the teens that show up in pj's. And for the people who sneek out after receiving and for the people with the screaming children when you can't hear the homily or pray for our deceased or dying loved ones. We are all teaching such great respect at church 🙏
Some priests are different, and lots of people in the congregation would give us dirty looks. We can't stay past the homily. As a result, I would go to church alone when the little one naps.
My priest encouraged me after a mass when my 1 year old was very disruptive and crying. He said if the church isn’t crying, the church is dying. I loved that sentiment and it really reminded me of what’s important. Our children are the future of the church. They should be in Mass!
As a young Army wife and mother, I was a single mom most of the time -Hubby gone. I discovered that if we sat in the front pew, the little ones could see everything happening at the alter. This kept even the babies focused. My husband thought this was weird, but discovered for our family it worked. As they grew my kids became engaged in mass learning the parts and prayers. We are huge proponents of little ones in church.
I am a catholic convert who has experienced infertility for years, let me tell you as someone on the outside, seeing your children in mass is so refreshing. It stirs up a grief and joy that pulls me into the heart of Christ.
It is a gift to have children, it is such a gift to have children laughing, crying and squealing in mass.
I totally get the part about minding others. If your baby is loudly crying without consolation, you could consider going to the back to sooth them, but truly, truly, it is more important to give your child love and patience than to make sure everyone else isn't distracted or annoyed. Your family comes first. If your child needs to step out with you for a moment, that's okay, but never feel you need to snap at your child or punish them as they are learning. Ultimately your heart with having your children at mass is that they would grow to know the Lord and love his church and your responsibility, with the help of God, is to show them that they are loved where they are always.
Wow 🥲thank you for your words (mother of a 3 yr old who is struggling with this) 🤍🤍🤍God bless
I have to credit my parents for teaching my 2 brothers and myself that church was not a place for play. We always discussed the night before which mass we would attend, and chose our clothing. No breakfast beforehand as we received communion. We were allowed to take one book to look at. We were reminded before walking in the door that God deserved our attention and we were to behave respectfully in his home. We loved our parents and followed their instructions. I think my parents just expected good behavior and they got it.
EXACTLY.
Yes. "Children are a map of their parents," regardless of age. I've seen toddlers better behaved than some adults or even older folks in the pews. Teach them early.
Our 9 month old was babbling very loudly once. After mass the Deacon came to us and thanked my son for helping him preach the gospel lol😅
Your UA-cam profile picture is not right if you consider yourself Catholic
I grew up seeing mothers with their children, from infants on up. If the babies or toddlers fussed the mothers would take them out for a bit and then come back. It’s perfectly normal and part of mass.
As I’ve heard, if the church isn’t crying, it’s dying. ☺️ Please young mothers continue to bring your little ones to Mass.💕 And we pray one day when we cannot get there on our own, our children will bring US to Mass, in our wheelchairs and walkers! ❤️😉
Great point!!
I am always anxious at mass bringing my toddler to mass. Some days are better than others. I remember the priest making a point of saying we are all baptized Christians part of the body of Christ and crying children are a part of that body. Even the oldies are sweet and understanding. The ones who had 5 or more kids would tell me that in their day there was no “cry room” and that the entire church was a cry room. I’ve rarely had people give “the look” and for the most part the parrish has been very understanding telling me that “you made it to mass and that’s what’s important”.
I agree about the children being at mass. I had 4 that I brought to mass every week. However, For the sake of and benefit of the congregation and for reverence for Our Lord, I always took them out if they became very loud or disruptive, especially for the Gospel/ Homily and during the Consecration. Some noise is inevitable but when they are screaming ( and at our church it’s usually more than one 😅) it is a distraction for those who are trying to concentrate on their prayer to God. Some noise is inevitable (babbling, momentary loud sounds) but full out yelling/ screaming is not helpful for an attitude of prayer. Children are beautiful but we should respect others with certain limits of behavior. We should work towards the good of all ages in the Church. 😊🙏🏻
I agree with you whole heartedly! I am a parish secretary, mom & grandma. The KIDS NEED TO BE IN CHURCH...how else will they ever learn to be in church if you don't bring them??? My youngest was hard to handle, too...my husband would walk out with her to the outer lobby so as not to disturb others, & then go to the cry room. I remember one time, while in the cry room, telling her that Jesus was in the "gold box" (the Tabernacle) and she looked at me & with a puzzled expression, said to me: "Well, can't he come out & play with me?" She is now grown up & an RN, but it still makes me giggle.
You practice sitting still and being quiet outside of church. Set chairs up like pews and read a story. Make the kids sit quietly and listen. Reward them when they do.
You’re such an inspiration Heather! Please pray for me- my name is Corinna. I’m fairly new to the faith, (baptized last Easter), my husband is not Catholic and we have 2 boys (7 & 4) who were baptized last October. I get discouraged because I sometimes feel like i have a huge weight on my shoulders trying to teach the faith to our boys. Your videos are SO helpful! You’re definitely a role model of mine! Thank you for another great one. God bless!
Praying for you ! great job 🌻🌻🌻
Welcome to the faith!
Welcome Corinna! I'll pray for you. My husband wasn't practicing our faith when my sons were small. Take them to church and do the best you can and the Lord will work it our. I'll put you on my prayer list.❤
Welcome Corinna! One Priest told me " Talk to our mother , she listens and understands she's " since then I pour out myself to the blessed Virgin Mary, I feel listened, no judgments just a gentle love.So in anything just kneel and ask her to intercede for you , you don't have to have any particular words just say what you feel and ask her for guidance,. Say Hail Mary and trust me she listens even in that verge of helpless and don't know what to do or say. May our blessed mother guide you and intercede for you as you take the step to teach and bring your family to Christ 🙏🏽
Taking my kids to daily mass(not every day but mass during the week) helped them get used to mass. Less people so it was shorter and way quieter so they were less likely to act out. We would still go to Sunday of course but going to daily mass once a week or something helped.
My parents believe strongly, and raised me with the belief that overuse of a nursery delays a child’s maturation and development. School is not the only place where children learn to be quiet and pay attention. No one learns overnight. Honestly, I feel like the reactions of disgruntled adults were a form of feedback that helped me learn how to behave.
I totally agree with you. I was asked twice to get out of the church even though I was at the back, in the baby room exhausted with a baby, a seventeen month old and a 3 year old, trying my best to calm the baby. I felt horrible, thank God I love Jesus, i just found a church with welcoming people. And I love helping other mothers with babies.
I do love children at church as I myself have 4. But I do believe that parents should remove their children if they are unable to sit quietly and not be a distraction for others. You do not know what someone is going thru while they are there at mass. Some are learning the faith, some are quietly crying out to Jesus for help, for others this might be their only place of solace in their life. We do not know what are fellow Christians are going thru at that time. Someone commented we all have been there and yes we have but I always removed my children if they could not sit still as the Mass is not just for me and my family. Hope this makes sense. Blessings to you and your family :)
You also don't know what the mother is going through. Once I had to take my children to church alone for a devastating reason I don't want to discuss. Yes they were a little noisy so I had them in the cry room. I still had someone try to remind me the cry room doesn't contain all the noise. It was a very rude reminder of an already horrible situation of why I had to bring them alone. I almost cried right there but I waited till I got to the car. It definitely made me wonder if I should have just stayed home.
As someone with hearing disability, consider what is more valuable, allowing children to be noisy or allowing attendees to hear the mass. If the liturgy matters, then being able to hear what is being said by the Priest is important. I am all for kids at Mass, once however common sense would dicate that noise has become an issue, they should be moved to an area that does not encroach on others' ability to participate in the liturgy.
My wife and I are converts to the Catholic Church. I converted last Easter, my wife will be a received into the church this Easter (she was breast feeding so couldn’t get to rcia last year).
I have to say, we’ve had such a positive experience in our parish. They’re so welcoming and lovely. We’ve had one, “shush” so I prayed a Hail Mary for the lady in question, we’ve all had bad days and I just smiled and shrugged it off.
The other thing to say, is that I’m so grateful for the Catholic church, we are expecting another little one at the end of April and that’s all due to Catholic teaching and God. It can be stressful with kids but i saw a video by about it being our vocation and so now i just look at it like I’m just praising the Lord by doing my best with them in mass.
Thanks for you video, it was lovely to see!
Congratulations! I can tell you love the Lord and your family very much. Praise God. We are the body of Christ.
I don't really mind children at mass but sometimes it's overstimulating with cry screaming. I think they should be taken outside so they don't disrupt and then bring them back in. I know it happens but if it's for a long time take them out, comfort them, and then bring them back in. My opinion.
When my son was about 2, he escaped from my arms and ran onto the alter and shouted 😮 I was MORTIFIED “you can’t get me!” Our church is predominantly older but LOVE seeing kids. Luckily our priest was amazing and told me my son wanted to be closer to Jesus and maybe be a priest one day and even told the next Mass that Sunday what happened and told the congregation seeing kids in Mass is GOOD.
I'm sure you were beet red embarrassed but oh my! What a cute story to tell your son as he grows older to laugh about. ❤😂
Once in the Philippines I heard a Priest speak to the congregation on this issue. He told people, if the children are noisey/disruptive that the parents should take them outside. The parent should have no qualms about it and they do not fail to fulfill their Sunday obligation. I agree. Thinking that the people who are showing some frustation are the problem is really backwards. A little bit of noise is fine but it doesn't take long to become disruptive and being disruptive is being disruptive. No need to uneccessarily overwhelm yourself because you can't find a solution. Just take the child outside, it's so simple. What's the problem? 🤷♂️
I totally get the frustration people feel when little children are being really loud and rambunctious. My 13 year old made a comment about not being able to hear any of the homily because someone's baby was crying the whole time. I just told him that even though babies don't always cooperate, we should be happy that they are present and being brought up to know God. And I reminded him that there was a time he couldn't sit still or be quiet and let him know how stressful that is for the parents. They really don't need the added pressure of people giving them a hard time.
I have two of my five children have autism and church is very hard. They can be loud and we work to teach them to be quiet but we walk a fine line about when to take them to the crying room or to the back of church. I find it stressful at times. Most people are understanding but there are still those that give looks. We just persevere,it helps that our priests are supportive.
Yes, I am sometimes distracted by small children during Mass, but only momentarily because then I realize what gift it is to have families with young children in our church!
I remember when my kids were small someone complained to a sister about the little noise they made. Sister said shame on you for not paying attention to the priest instead. They were shocked. God bless her soul. The sound of life.
To be fair, it CAN be distracting so concentration can be difficult. But too bad! Children sometimes make noise. It's up to the individual to ignore it...some have an easier time with this than others.
Thank you for this video! I’m a lifelong Protestant who’s exploring the Catholic Church and I’ve been bringing my 9 month old alone to Mass. As tempting as it is to go back to my old nondenominational church to get an hour of peace where they have a nursery, I know that pursuing the truth is much more important. Please pray for me, I’m thinking of starting RCIA this fall 😊
Our priest encourages families to come to church. We even have one Sunday a month where the children not only do the readings and sing in the choir, but he also brings all the children in the audience to the front and gives them a short talk or teaches them a new prayer. I have no children myself, but I am glad to hear their little voices.
I love hearing the kids at mass. When our kids were younger, we were so worried they were misbehaving or loud. It was wasted time to worry about that stuff. The family belongs in the Mass regardless of age.
I agree with your approach. Soft faith-based toys are a great idea for toddlers. It's best not to have toys that will make noise or "travel" if dropped. Absolutely no hard toys that can scratch the pews. If kids may act up it is best not to sit in the first few pews which may be distracting during the readings and for the homilist.
Excellent video on a touchy topic, Heather. 👏👏👏❤️. I agree...children can't learn to behave at Mass if they're never taken there.
We always practiced good behaviour expectations at home while we said family rosary. Children under two could move around a little bit but had to learn not to make noise. Some were easier to teach than others but we started with clear expectations because children are way smarter than many adults give them credit for. We reminded the children before Mass that we were entering God's house and that each Mass is the exact same sacrifice, except in an unbloodied manner, as actual good Friday and we should do our utmost to keep that foremost in our minds. We also separated our children into whichever seating order worked best and we put several children in the pew in front of us as well which made it very easy to tap on their shoulder if they were not paying attention. Children belong at Mass and they are mostly capable of good behaviour if it is expected, but every effort also must be made to be respectful of others who are there to pray the Holy Mass.
So true. We will get the stare but in a positive way with all smiles because the church doesnt see much young people or children so its a blessing and you can really see they adore the little ones right through their eyes the feed back is great and welcoming 🎉
This video brings me back to raising my kids. My husband at the time was not going to church with us, but the people who sat around us were so welcoming and encouraging every.single.Sunday. thank God for those people. My younger son is pretty active the head usher would come over and have Ryan help him during the Mass. So grateful that those people God put in our path at that time were following Jesus so closely that they could help.
Thank you for the beautiful video. This made me reflect on how thankful I am for our parish. We are Maronite and our community is relatively small. Our priest makes sure the first few rows are reserved for our community’s children in our religious education program (we start at age 3) and has made it known he is thankful for the kids being there and they are important. It’s also very common for most anyone in our parish helping “mind” children 😂 during Divine Liturgy as we all know almost everyone. Love and blessings to all my fellow parents. Praying for you and glad you are making the tremendous effort to bring your kiddos to church ♥️
Our priest closed our cry room. He wants the kids in the church! I get why he did it, it was like a party in there- kids that were too old to be in there, people who had no kids in there, etc. but, it would be nice if it was open for nursing mothers if needed
I agree about needing a room for nursing mothers. Our pastor does not want a cry room because he wants the children in the church, but nursing mothers have nowhere to go but the small, cold and usually smelly restroom. I am an older woman without children and this bothers me 🙂
Maybe Father could rename the room and post signage. "Nursing mothers and infants only."
Not long ago I noticed a cheerio on the floor in my pew. Obviously a child dropped it, but I decided it was a little life preserver from Jesus to me.
❤
Crying and being restless happens and no parent should feel embarrassed about that. As someone who was raised very strict (not to utter a sound and sit still on my seat in church), I do have a hard time, however, seeing how some parents allow their kids to run around in church or jump up and down the benches, not to mention kicking the pew in front of them or the person next to them. We spent the first 2 years of each of our kids' life in the last pew of the church. After that, we were close to the front which allowed us to teach them as they had already learned to behave for the most part.
77 year old Mom, but no grandchildren. It is such a beautiful moment of grace to see and hear young children in Mass. We try to always tell young parents what a blessing their beautiful families are. Bless them for their presence, and their exhausting dedication to bringing their little ones up in the Faith. I'm sure you will be richly rewarded. 🙏🤗❤
We're from Goa, India. We made it a habit to take our kids to church right after their baptism. We would sit closer to a side door & step out whenever the kids would be restless to the point of being noisy. When the offertory collection was to take place, we would give the kids some money to place in the collection bag/ tray & that was something they looked forward to. A sippy cup with water & a hand fan was all that we carried for them. For longer masses such as feast days, we generally sat in places such as the side wings of the church or an easy exit area in case the mass was out in an open area
Awesome ooooo👏👏👏👏👏👏
Sometimes I feel demoralized going to church because my one year old daughter always runs outside or to the altar while mass is on.
My husband has moved out from Catholic Church to Pentecostal so I’m doing it alone sometimes I don’t even hear the sermons and what was said.
But I thank God for strength I’ll keep doing my best and we will forever remain Catholics with or without the father.
Oof. Out of all the options, he chose Pentecostal 😬
"If the church ain't crying it's dying" - I've been told this so many times ❤
I always take my girls with me since they’re baby and they know how to behave and use their inner voice if they want to say something. Then we help to arrange misal books after and they think they’re important volunteers in the church. My 6 yrs old know how to response and help other kids to quite. She have coloring pages and colors for other kids. After 7yrs old no more toys or coloring stuff, or snacks. Our priest is awesome and community ❤️We seat front as well, also my girls look forward for some reward , same like u they have to tell me wht they learn from gospel &reading as well. Yes please b kind to other mom out there, specially the one have special kids.
I came back to the Catholic Church after 40 years and sadly my kids never attended a Catholic church when young, but I understand and feel sorry for the parents and their frustration. It doesn't bother me at all what the kids do. It used to distract me and throw me off a bit, but I learned to tune out as if I was their mother. 😝What bothers me is actually the adults that cannot stop talking before mass starts while I'm praying and sometimes even during mass.
Yes! Misbehaving adults are what annoy me too.
Yes! Another thing that really bothers me is the fact that so many are huge advocates for using Bible apps. If you simply must "follow along," bring or use a provided physical copy. Screens do not belong in church.
I get a lot of flack for this but I stand by it.
Yes, the visiting adults, in the presence of the Eucharist in the Tabernacle, is so much more disruptive, especially since adults know better!! Visiting should wait until outside after Mass. Inside, the church should be sacred and reverent to respect those trying to pray and prepare for Mass, but most importantly to respect the presence of Christ before us in the tabernacle.
We had a marvelous priest when our children were small. He said that the earlier you expose your children to Mass, the easier it is to keep them anchored in the faith.
I 100% agree with everything you’re saying! We sit at the back, so it’s easy to step out quietly if need to and I feel we are less disruptive-but I try to teach my sons that we need to respect other people praying. We go to a small Ukrainian Catholic parish and everyone is always so gracious and kind; saying my kids were so good (Even if they were not haha), saying hello to them, smiling at them when they are doing weird kid things when we head up for communion-I am so grateful to all our kind parishioners. It can be hard some days, but I try my best to have realistic expectations.
Just wanted to share a perspective from someone without kids. We need kids, young people, and families in church. So, if you're ever wondering whether to bring the kids, the answer is - yes, bring them!
Please don’t be worried about people staring. Some are just curious or offering encouragement. And for those who seem less friendly, let's send prayers to soften their hearts. I've been guilty of peeking around, and I felt awful afterwards! If we're distracted from worship, we need to refocus and not blame kids around us!
We should all be respectful in church, of course, but in my experience, adults are often just as distracting! While parents are probably overly critical of their nippers, if the kids are going off, just use the cry room or go out; people will respect you for it.
I agree children need to go to Mass to learn they need to be quiet, especially during the elevation of the Body and Blood of Christ. If a child is acting up, the parent should remove them from Mass, but the child should know they will be reprimanded for their actions. We raised 4 boys ages 1-5 and they knew mom and dad would not allow them to be noisy. We would have Pizza for supper if all were good. They did not want to miss pizza.
I have seen parents allow their kids to bring noisy toys and cereal that falls all over the floor. Kids have run out into the aisle, kick and scream because they want to go home now. I believe they only come to Mass for Christmas and Easter, which is an obvious problem.
My son is 2 and half years old and I’ve been taking him to church since he was a couple of months old. We always stay all the way in the back because he gets loud. During the feast of the presentation of Jesus Christ a couple of weeks ago, the church was packed and as usual we stayed in the back, my son was louder than usual and at one point started crying.. we stepped out, but I guess he was still so loud that the priest stopped in the middle of his sermon and walked all the way back to where we were and slammed the door shut to were we were and didn’t tell us nothing and went back shaking his head. I felt ashamed , defeated and have not taking my son back to church. So thank you for this!
Wow. That was uncalled for on the priest's part. You should find another Catholic Church and continue to take your son to Mass.
Sorry to hear that, you could try another Catholic church in your area with your son.
Although everyone should agree that the priest should have been a bit more restrained but we are splitting hairs here. As a father of two girls they were often loud but if and when it ever got to a point of disrupting the entire mass and was obviously too loud then they were taken out. Nearly every post on this topic will agree that ALL CHILDREN and families should attend mass together but let's be honest there needs to be parenting and discipline as needed until they grow to an age where the disruption is diminished. Give them a bible book, a color book or whatever a parent needs to parent...
Pray for that priest. We all have bad days and make mistakes.
This video was perfect for my family right now. We are not only new to being Catholic but we have a 6,4 and 2 year old. Thank you ❤
I think parents need to be prepared ahead of Mass, so that a small disruption doesn't escalate. A family who often sits ahead of us has a couple of little guys who have 38 minutes in them. That means the crying, fighting, etc. happens right at the Consecration. If the parents took the kiddos out at 35 minutes, or introduced a distraction at that time, others could concentrate on that most Holy moment rather than recoiling at an ear piercing shriek. By observing what sets little ones off, parents can come prepared to avoid those situations.
So excited every time I see you posted a new video. I really stopped being a practicing Catholic for years because I didn’t feel very welcomed when my kids were little.
We just had a baby and I don’t care what others think, I will keep my baby at mass and will not deny him growing up with mass as I did my others. However if my baby is losing it I will temporarily walk out.
In our church, the priests had a cry room built with a screen so that parents could watch mass live.
There are so many young children (think 15 babies per mass, plus all the older brothers and sisters) it was becoming unbearable, so the cry room is a good thing.
Our church doesn't have a cry room. When we did a massive remodel, I asked if we were getting a cry room. An older parishioner looked at me in horror, saying something like, "Our children are part of our church!"
I'm childless but I want to say that I used to get annoyed by crying babies until I realized that is *my* sin, not theirs. They have the right to be there. It's *my* problem if I'm distracted, not theirs.
I love them all, they are fully welcomed in my church and heart.
I fully agree with everything you've said, Heather! When I was taking my children to church, I considered myself very fortunate that congregation members were so kind and understanding when my youngest was disruptive. During those years, I always knelt towards the back of the church and took him out frequently, especially when the priest was giving a sermon. At the time, one elderly lady told me that she always said a Hail Mary for me when my little one was noisy - this is something that I myself do for other parents when I hear their children shouting etc. As you said, Heather, it's really important that parents take their children to Mass so that they get into a good habit. I know that other congregation members wish to worship in peace but perhaps they could try to look upon children's disruptions as a means of practising the virtue of patience - think of the many graces they would get. As a final point, Heather, when I was growing up, we had 5 Masses every Sunday in our church and many other churches had an equal number. In this way, those without children could always choose to attend the earlier Masses which did not attract so many families. Unfortunately, this is not the case today. God bless you and your family, Heather.
My son has autism and it’s so difficult being in mass with him. He won’t sit still and since he’s almost 3 we get a lot of rude looks from people even in the crying room. There have been times when I almost want to stop going to mass and just watching virtually, but I don’t want to give up. 😢
Don’t stop that’s the enemy. God is Light. Offer any suffering if any, to Christ
In order to glorify him. I have struggle at times with my 10 year old…God is Love. 🙏🏽
With two ASD kiddos, it’s so hard sometimes !!
Please don't give up! The problem is on those people, not your little one.
2 of my sons have ASD. They both are in their 20's now and love God and the Mass so much!! So all that time with them in Mass was worth the embarrassment and work!! Hang in there!!
Please don't give up! Keep coming to Mass! God bless you!
I have an additional perspective. Remember: this is not INSTEAD of the views expressed in the videos and comments...it is IN ADDITION to those perspectives. Here goes...I am a person who is easily distracted. I don't choose to be that way. I don't WANT to be that way. I have battled with that my whole life. I am not alone, either. I am sharing this so that maybe other people might understand why some of us struggle with distractions. Note that I am NOT saying that anyone needs to do anything different except to try to understand that we're not jerks. Just distractable human beings. Not different at all from the YOUNG distractables. We're a community of human beings. ❤
In most parishes, there is an early Mass and then a family Mass so it's easy for me to go to the earlier one BUT occasionally I go to the family one, with my grandchildren and love the energy that little kids (even disruptive ones!) bring.
Thank you for this video it is so important for kids to be at mass! I don’t have the blessing of my own children but I am a teacher in a catholic school and I am delighted when I see my students at mass and their younger siblings, I think it is so beautiful and I am so thankful to God that their parents have made the sacrifice to somehow get them up and ready and bring them to mass early on a Sunday morning! Thank you parents, for ensuring your children have the opportunity to encounter Jesus at such a young age, I am so grateful for you, you’re doing an amazing job!
On the rare occasion that there is an especially loud child that I find disruptive, I have taken to thanking God for that family because it’s a good reminder to me that I need to repent of my own judgment and I recognize it was probably a real struggle to get to mass if you have a child who is experiencing a difficult morning.
On one occasion a mother was calling out her approximately 4-year-old child for not paying attention and they were all the way back where he couldn't be seen or heard well, while others were in the middle of the church with the children screaming at the top of their lungs. I am one of the people who consider it important to take children because they must learn, with us as an example. Children should see how their parents pray, worship, share and serve in the community but it is also important to put ourselves in their place and understand that at that age children have strong demands for attention that if we treat from imposition can also generate the opposite effect, in our children, that is, the refusal to go to church. I think it is important to look for options that allow both them and us to be comfortable and avoid making others uncomfortable. And if possible. My 5-year-old daughter doesn't really like going to mass but she goes because it is a time for both of us to connect. From that connection I try to show her that we can live the mass and that it is important to go. Blessings
I'm a consacrated lay person so I don't have kids, but I go to a church that is full of families. I try my best to always smile and be encouraging to families because the children are our future. I think it's so rude to stare disapprovingly at parents who are doing their very best. It's already embarassing enough for them as it is.
I also think of it as a great opportunity to develop patience and charity.
Love children in church and I’m so glad us catholic we are able to have our kids with us they have the right to see the miracles that happen in every mass.
Thank you 🙏🏼 prayers for all the families
Children are wonderful. My granddaughter is 2yrs old, we have to remove her when crying starts, but at two she has learned the rhythm of the church, when she sees the basket after the gospel, she yells out time to give money. Of course those around us are giggling. At the end of mass the priest says good morning to her and gives her a blessing. You have covered all we do for the children. Thank you.
I have four kids and I try my best to control the tantrums and out burst but they aren’t too bad it’s more of my 2 year old who will yell out mama I love you or he will drop something and cry a bit but I always apologize and I carry on I’ve had some stares and shakes of the head but I’ve had a lot of compassion compliments and understanding most will understand and say I’ve been there or don’t be sorry you have a beautiful family I also have a crying room but can’t hear anything my 10 year old likes to sit at the very front so that’s where we sit it helps them see who is talking hear well it’s been great
Glad I stumbled to your vlog. I’m now in the next chapter of my like a new grandmother to my 5 month old granddaughter.
I love the noisy children, just not mine being noisy. Praise be to God for them all. :)
I 100% agree with you! Especially kids with issues like autism or adhd. Unless people deal with children like this, they have no idea what it's like. Kids are going to act like kids. This past Christmas our priest even said for us parents not to feel embarrassed or feel that we have to leave because our kids are crying or being loud.
As a mom of two ASD kiddos, thank you ❤️ I go to church alone and I wish my children were more welcomed.
Guess what? Those kids with ADHD or Autism GROW UP AND STILL HAVE SENSORY ISSUES, LIKE ME. And then your demon spawn completely disrupt the Mass for people like myself who can't tolerate the complete chaos, or who can't hear the priest over the screaming. I left church with a migraine today and had been shaking in anger, practically in tears, throughout the entire Mass - and I certainly didn't go to Communion - because of despicable, garbage parents who don't discipline or remove their rotten kids. I assure, neither I nor anyone in my generation, Z, behaved like this. This is strictly a crappy Millennial parenting problem.
Excuses.
Love the video!! Sometimes it can almost feel like a battle at mass with small children but I encourage everyone with small ones to keep taking their kids to mass. They grow up so fast and with encouragement they learn how to behave. We currently have a 2 yr old and he is so messy at mass but he is slowly getting better and we as parents are learning what helps him stay more focused. Not every child is the same so sometimes you have to try different things. I would just say to be mindful of the toys or snacks you use to keep them quiet.
I love seeing large families at Mass. However, if you know that you have a noisy child, pls don't sit in front. Those of us who sit up front (TLM) are trying to hear,focus and pray on the liturgy. It's even disruptive sometimes for the priest who is celebrating the Mass.
My husband always say, "If the church isn't crying its dying". We have 3 children and they where loud sometimes and we got the look but we looked right back. My husband also say a child's voice should remind us of God's creation and their distress should wake up compassion in us and offer as much help as we can.
I don’t even have children yet but you can bet I created a playlist for “When I’m a mom” and added this video to it! 😂 seriously though, I just love love love your videos. I’ve been a subscriber for a while now and I’ve learned so much about what living the faith actually looks like through your channel. It’s so beautiful and you encourage me 🌷 God bless you and your family 😊
My best advice for families with small kids is to sit where the kids can see! They don’t want to just see the back of the people in front and feel trap.. they will ask question about what they are seeing.. that’s what worked for us.
My little children know that we will sit for a while, and then I will take them out to walk around or on the stairs for a little while, and then go back in. If we need to go in and out a few times, that's what we do. I try to give them a break well before they get crazy antsy or escalate. As with teaching our children anything, I try to give them an appropriate challenge, but not stress them out. That has really worked for us
You’re an awesome Mom! Thank you for sharing your tips! 😊🙏🏽😇
I don't personally mind a young child being heard at mass. They are the future after all but, now, there's this one woman who let's her older child shout out throughout. Often, she'll be having a conversation with them, at a raised volume....I pick up distinct rebelliousness from the mother, as though she's attending just to make a point.
I love this. I think it’s spot on and you gave great advice.
I think it’s a little give and take from parents of littles and parishioners who don’t have small children. I see some parents who are kind of letting kids run the show and distract from the Mass the entire time and we have some Parents who hop up at the first peep their child makes.
This is a little embarrassing but I’ve brought ear plugs and if we have a child who is making a ton of noise to one side of me consistently. I’ll try to discreetly pop an earplug in that one ear to help me focus on the Mass, it really works. Also, I have to say I agree with another commenter saying that sometimes the looks from other Parishioners is the correction that child might need to feel contrite and behave better. I think if it’s done in a loving manner it can be helpful, especially if the behavior is really not age appropriate.
Thanks for doing this. It is important that we bring our children to mass, quiet or not.
I appreciate you !
I LOVE your channel and am so thankful for it! We have an 8, almost 7 yr old and a 4 month old. We've definitely gone through various Seating arrangements over the past few years. So relatable! God bless you!! You have helper this mom become a better Catholic!!
I've always heard and stood by the saying "if the Parish isn't crying it's dying!
I know churches that offer on Sundays Children mass, where even the children are the choir, maybe you should attend a children mass while your children are very young, if you don't have a chlldren mass speak to your preist. If you are going to attend a regular mass, make sure your children eat, go to the restroom before mass, and maybe try to have your children play and run in your backyard or at a park before going to mass, and check for fever PRIOR so that will help with some thing also take coloring books with biblical message and some quite toys to keep them busy.
I think people also need to realize that for parents with 0-5 year olds, they are new parents too! They have only been parents for a few years so extend grace, regardless of what the kids are doing! I feel like I was judged for both: my 2 year old (at the time) daughter being loud and/or me being too strict. Like I was a new mother too! Now I have 3 going on 4 kids so I am a lot more experienced but extend grace! Most new parents never handled young children before having their own. We live in a culture of death where kids are not everywhere anymore. Anyway, I agree with everything you said!
Reading some of these comments of people without children feeling annoyed, maybe asking the Blessed Mother for patience will help. Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” Reflect on the words of our Lord before giving dirty looks, you are the one who is sinning, not the stressed parents bringing their young child into church.
Although I am not a Catholic my dad was and took me to Mass when I was about three/four years old , I used to play at the back of the church and my dad would always take children's bible books with us , I remember those Mass trips with love and have visited the church many times since. I am part of the Kids team at my church and kids have their own ministrey, our church kids partake in the full services at Christmas and Easter, if Kids want to sit in the adult services with their parents they can do and sometimes kids will attend the evening services with their parents
I like both approaches as long as children feel a part of the Church and are shown love and understanding this will mean kids will love Jesus as adults
We love the children in our church. It reminds me that the church is going to grow in the future ❤
Beautifully explained, Heather
I’m the mother of 8 and they are all older now but back in the day my kids were cryroom material as our priest labeled them!😂 They all grew up in the church just fine!! I always try to compliment parents that bring their kids to church because I love it when children are there!!
I totally agree with you. I live in Hungary where we have children's mass at many churches (a normal liturgy with a homily for children, where kids can be louder), but at most masses there are very few children, mostly only elderly people. For me, it is sad to see this.
Thank you for this Heather! 🤍Personally, my inner struggle as a mom of a 3 yr old who has been crying/ having meltdowns often during mass, is knowing that kids are much better inside than in cry rooms because Jesus is REALLY there!! And who else can do something for our crying kids than God?!? Who can give them the peace they need other than our Lord? I have learned that we receive SO many graces by just being there in the real presence of Jesus. And our kids need that today more than ever! I also heard from a wonderful priest that kids’ cries are often prayers to God. Maybe mom and dad are fighting a lot, divorcing, etc., and the only way they can pray about that is through their cry🥺
But of course my other inner struggle is not disrupting those around that want that 1:1 with our Lord. Not disrupting our priest. It’s SO hard! All I can say is please be patient & kind, and pray for all parents who are in those situations. Pray for these little ones that are the future of our Church 🙏🏼
Getting and prepare a night before for church is a very good tip. Thank you.
I have one 18 month baby and my husband and I are always in the cry 😭 room. She is a kid doing all the kid stuff. I am not ashamed to be in the cry room. It’s always packed with other kids 👦.
I get some people are trying to teach their children how to behave in church. I have children too. But there is a point where it is distracting and disrespectful. People are praying for the dying and sick. Maybe even they've been diagnosed with a terminal illness and are praying but have a child behind having a fit. Know when to get your kid out of there. They are still small. I know to young moms it might sometimes feel like it has to happen all at once but it takes time and some people in there are really grieving. Have some respect for others.
Thank you so much! The entitlement of young Catholic parents is truly mind boggling.
Respect goes both ways
@@haleyfryzelka740 it does that's why I didn't let my children scream, cry, or talk during mass.
God forgive me if I am wrong but I think Mass is a celebration. Yes, time to be reverent. But the church is a body with many parts. Jesus said let the children come to me.
@@samantharizkallah5985 there is a time and place. If your child is screaming, crying, and or talking during Mass parents need to be respectful and take the kid out. Imagine someone just lost a loved one in some horrific way and is praying and some parent is just letting their child scream and cry over them. That's just ignorant.
Our priest encourages us to bring our kiddos to mass. I'll never forget one little girl was singing so loud during service he smiled and asked if she wanted to join the choir. lol But in all seriousness, how do they know how to act if they don't practice? We only have two and we've had our share of chaotic times, but thats how they learn.
You know l was really wondering about this subject. Honestly it's quite difficult to know what to do...
Thanks for interesting and thoughtful discussion.
One of our priests always says "If you don't hear children crying, the church is dying."
God bless you, sweetheart Heather, for you started your video by Jesus’s verse.
Let the children come to Me. Beautiful
Thanks for sharing and I do agree.
🥰🙏👍⭐️❤️🌟👏✝️❣️🌹
While I love seeing young children in Mass and I think it's very important for them to be present and learn our beautiful Catholic traditions and scripture, I also greatly appreciate when a parent has the courtesy to take a crying child out for a little break. It can be really disheartening to miss out on the homily and the consecration of the Eucharist because of not being able to hear. When our kids were really young, we took a "quiet book" and Cheerios in a non-crinkly bag and also had the kids help clean up before we left. God Bless!
I attend a TLM and usually one of the parents brings the child to the back or vestibule if they get really bad but it’s like, almost everyone is a parent so they’re all like cool
With it cuz they understand 😂❤️
I’m always so glad to see families bring their kiddos! I think that it does help teach the kid to have respect in church, as you said. But I don’t think we should have “cry rooms.” The vestibule is always fine :)
You have a great plan. I wish other parents would follow your example. In our church, they even run up and down on a scooter. So I now go to the first mass or last one which is 8:30pm or 8:30am. Soon I will just watch at home. My kids, grandkids, and great grandkids were not perfect.
I think children should be in mass, but I'm very easily distracted and somehow always end up with an active toddler right next to me which makes it difficult lol. But I am pregnant with my first baby and in a few short months I won't have the option of not being distracted for a long time.
Thank you for this reminder and perspective!! ❤🎉